Bro I love beating up a massive muscly dragon by shaking my hips from side to side more than anything.

Nothing feels better than waking up, turning on the TV, and running towards 3 ghosts that turn out to be angry anthropomorphised dumbbells and squeezing your ring a few times to piss them off.

The gym is over, it's Ringfit time now. I just reached 2000 squats. I am the squat master. I will never stop.

I had a pretty good time playing through this game. The plot leaves a lot to be desired and the game feels aggressively linear, but the combat is pretty interesting and fun, and I particularly loved a lot of the enemy designs. The summons can become motorbikes and stuff. That's cool and good. I really love the way Orphan looks, and the goth gibberish it spouts before battle.

The missions feel kinda tacked on to me - do I like running around the Gran Pulse plains over and over? Not really. But it is nice to have ONE thing to do other than progress the story. I just wish, more than anything, that the crystarium wasn't locked off and you could just do as much of it as you wanted from the beginning. That alone would make the game ten times better.

My ultimate conclusion is: it's ok.

As a kid who, 1. was obsessed with a little Goofy doll as a small child, and 2. became rapidly enamoured with the Final Fantasy series after I got my hands on FF7 as a 6 year old, the hotly anticipated release of Kingdom Hearts felt as if God had looked inside my mind and decided to grant me a wish for being so epic. To this day I love the feeling of bashing people with a big key (in Kingdom Hearts). The combat still feels fluid and extremely satisfying even with the retroactive comparison to more polished later games, which is really nice. The collecting and unlocking (heh) is perfect (I love reuniting an endless sequence of puppies and being given gummies for doing so). Also I love that Clayton from Tarzan is absolutely ready to shoot a young boy at any moment. Other people might have magical or fantasy-infused weapons, but Clayton has shotgun. Good for him.

I never really thought that the plot of this game was all that weird growing up, but to be honest, hearing Donald Duck go "BWTWTUIWTUIWTYWTYTAUHagJAGH" during emotionally heavier scenes is deeply funny, and Mickey Mouse showing up for one second at the end to go "yeah idk close this door on me I guess, see ya" is undeniably a shocking moment. Too much for my little heart.

Anyway this game is iconic and perfect. Thank you.

This is such a fun, refreshing and addictive new addition to the Pokémon canon. Despite some jank in graphical glitches, some gameplay elements that feel a little too catered to young children, and some character designs I wasn't too fond of, I really loved this. I love running around in the wilderness with my little creatures, I love wearing a three piece suit (cool), and I love the way the game makes it rewarding to keep battling and catching the same Pokémon as you make your way across the land. Also having a smart phone in feudal Japan is funny. Thank you.