I'm not built for this. This game makes me feel like I have a 60-hour work week.

This is my first Soulsborne and I want to love it so bad because it is actual peak when there's little between me and a tough set of enemies or a boss to figure out. (Most of) the bosses feel like that right exact balance of difficult but studyable that made me fall in love with games like the Mega Man series or Ultrakill and it felt incredibly gratifying to do things like manage to defeat the Tree Sentinel while probably underlevelled for it or finally defeating Margit.

At first the open world seemed like a stroke of genius for a game like this because if you encounter something that feels too hard you can just leave, go somewhere else, and come back when you feel better equipped for it. But in practice the difficulty curve is all over the place, wildly fluctuating between relatively mindless enemies to sudden boss monster that I barely do any damage to and kills me within seconds. And before you know it I'm sitting here with 9 visited but unfinished mini-dungeons because I'm constantly feeling ill-prepared for stuff. And then I get stuck in a conundrum of having my money (nearly enough for a level up) be stuck in a boss chamber so it's either I ram my face into this boss until I eventually win, or just forfeit it and leave.

My final session of this game was the fourth in a row where I've made no real progress. I've gone to new places but I've still hit brick walls and acquired no items and lose my money too frequently to level up anywhere resembling a regular basis, especially as the rune requirement keeps going up. Even the gratification for when I do manage to beat a difficult boss stopped coming because I'd stress keeping my money so bad only to lose it and have the rune reward for a boss be less than what I went into the dungeon with, and the actual item reward is a spell I can't use.

Dropping Runes hardly feels like it's an encouragement to get better so much as it just enabled my worst habits until eventually my loss-aversion monkey brain makes me do something that gets me killed before I can grab them back. It got to a point where eventually whenever I got anywhere even mildly close to a level-up, I'd stop what I'm doing, avoid areas I've not been in yet, and just farm the relatively easy but still high-value enemies like battle mages or the centipede dudes just to be absolutely sure my money isn't going to be stolen from me for the dozenth time. It just encourages me to play like a coward. Never be going anywhere unless I'm crouching and sneaking. If I take even a little bit of damage when I've barely left a site of grace, I'm resting at it again. It is a single solitary mechanic and yet it makes the whole rest of the game too stressful to actually participate with properly. Like, I'm genuinely certain this is a game I would enjoy a lot more if it wasn't for the hole-in-your-pocket mechanic. My mind isn't on studying the enemy's patterns and tells anymore so much as it's stressing about getting my money back to a site of grace.

This game is so cool and I'm very jealous of all my Soulshead friends that say this game changed their life and I wish I could enjoy it properly but I just feel mentally incompatible with it. I enjoyed my time with it to a point but it eventually just started feeling too oppressive that specifically wreaks havoc on my stupid mental illnesses and I don't think it'd be good for me to keep playing. Just, whatever. Fallingstar Beast is the final boss of Elden Ring. To me. I might try it again one day, I might not.

proper review coming when i get through more playthroughs but i just have to get this out: this game has some bonafide pure autism flavor CRACK in it.....tell me why i spent AN ENTIRE DAY playing this, literally trapped in tism'd tunnel vision trying to make That Stupid JROTC Twunk go to therapy. the PERILS of good character design the PERILS of promising + relatable early characterization the PERILS of dropping lore as insane as [insert genetic enhancement] right as im starting to get tired of his ass. just pissed me off so bad omggg [character in abusive relationship/Psychological Bondage with twunk] i UNDERSTAND you, we are sisterwives atp

anyway ive given up on that endeavor bc like i have a LIFE and a HOME and a MAN and PHOTOSENSITIVITY and RENT TO PAY i cannot be glued to the SteamDeck® like this! i really just got so irked that I didn't get the outcome i was casually seeking out that i spent hours backtracking and/or save-scumming (if it should be called that in such a game) to resolve the frustration and dissonance. classic erik moment #MentalHealthMatters

unfortunately this mental reset will NOT free me from this game's clutches (ive done three? four?playthroughs, technically) bc every playthrough my blue hair and pronouns femme queen will stumble upon a piece of interesting game-changing lore that i know i can learn more about it if i reincarnate and start EngineerMaxxing from birth 😭 Nigerian Father Mode ON ☝🏿

anyway . shit need to come with a surgeon generals warning.....its 5 am, i have work today......five stars

Not even the term "roguelite" feels appropriate anymore. I'd say Hades is closer to a roguelite-lite, because now the meta-progression is the main event and the actual randomized dungeon crawl more of an afterthought. In hindsight, I'm surprised it's taken Supergiant, who historically develop games for the sole purpose of padding out a seemingly pre-written script, this long to make this game, since they're now given infinitely more nooks and crannies to cram situational dialog into. Critiquing it as a roguelike wouldn't be fair; it's not even trying to deliver a fulfilling, high skill-ceiling experience that hinges on the player's ability to take advantage of good luck and creatively adapt to overcome misfortune. It's addicting, yes, but for all the wrong reasons- instead of embracing the arcade philosophy of only giving players enough motivation to break through to the next level on their own, it buries its gameplay shortcomings under a mountain of extrinsic reward. It's specifically designed to be too hard with no upgrades and too easy with upgrades, in an effort to dripfeed the player story details in a way that appears natural. Though, it seems like this approach requires a substantial amount of willful ignorance to actually be effective. For me, at least, finally beating Hades (the guy) felt like less of a monumental accomplishment and more of an item on a checklist that I'd crossed off before being carted away to the next stop on the assembly line, which nullifies any potential benefit of the roguelike structure. That's not to say the concept is broken at its core, and it's hard to deny the appeal of the dynamic hubworld and the overall level of contextualization given to a traditionally abstract genre. I can certainly imagine falling in love with this game if it really did feel like all the dialog corresponded 1:1 with your actions, but I'm skeptical that this accurately describes every fan of Hades. Not to pluck my own lyre, but NPCs consistently felt behind the times for me, still praising me for reaching Elysium after I'd already escaped the Underworld several times, for instance. And it's not like the writing is exactly stellar- Zagreus's near constant quipping tells me that Supergiant's not fully confident in a tone that's more comedic than their previous games. But then again, this is all stuff that, in my eyes, would only serve to elevate an already good game and not to excuse combat that's fundamentally a slog. I don't think I have a single compliment for Hades's action gameplay, but despite runs that always feel the exact same, upgrades that are all roundabout stat modifiers with no room for personality, and non-boss enemies that never pose a threat, what's most offensive to me is that Supergiant hasn't at all evolved since Bastion. It's the same weightless, uninspired, utterly boring mashfest that it's been for the past decade, entirely inexcusable. Or maybe my heart only has enough room for one randomized trek through the realm of the undead.