One-Sentence Half Star Explanations

The bottom line for games that I've given the lowest possible score.

Silent Hill: Ascension
Silent Hill: Ascension
Finally, the worst fucking thing I've ever seen in my entire life.
Red Dead Redemption 2
Red Dead Redemption 2
Rockstar's anti-cheat required to run the game revoked write privileges on my entire games folder and broke several programs, making this the first piece of malware on the list.
No Man's Sky
No Man's Sky
The only purpose this game serves is to be held up as a shield by thoughtless consumers wishing to defend their latest terrible products with the hope that they'll be made better later.
Overwatch 2
Overwatch 2
A pseudo-sequel that manages to have both less and worse content than what came before it.
Dead Space 3
Dead Space 3
EA plucks the remaining flesh from Visceral's bones, leaving nothing behind but an empty carcass.
Square Enix AI Tech Preview: The Portopia Serial Murder Case
Square Enix AI Tech Preview: The Portopia Serial Murder Case
You ever see something that was made purely because some suit thought it would earn them a promotion?
Hogwarts Legacy
Hogwarts Legacy
The one where the goblins start practicing blood libel.
Tender Frog House
Tender Frog House
Posting isn't praxis, and people new to leftism need to get over the notion that it is in less embarrassing ways than this.
High on Life
High on Life
A game that tries and fails to distract you from the shit gameplay with worse comedy.
Esports Life Tycoon
Esports Life Tycoon
A known bug that bricks the save files of all copies of the game remains completely unpatched to this day.
Home
Home
A narrative game that makes the bold choice to not have a story or an ending.
Domina
Domina
Boring gameplay, bad business practices, and constant developer transphobia make this an easy skip.
Claim your Free BitBuddy Today!
Claim your Free BitBuddy Today!
Please stop letting this man make games.
Pony Island
Pony Island
If you asked Daniel Mullins to make a game where Satan wasn't secretly haunting the computer the entire time, it would kill him.
Goat Simulator
Goat Simulator
Single-handedly responsible for spurring indie developers to release purposefully-broken piles while still charging money for them.
Silent Hill: Homecoming
Silent Hill: Homecoming
The nail in the coffin of a series that was ripped away from its rightful developers.
Paper Mario: Sticker Star
Paper Mario: Sticker Star
An abject failure that's emblematic of Nintendo's backwards business policies in the early-2010s.
Homefront
Homefront
The brave heroes of the resistance, who shove starving children to the ground and throw their squadmates to the wolves for the unforgivable crime of being visibly Asian.
Halo: Combat Evolved
Halo: Combat Evolved
First-person shooters sucked for like fifteen straight years because everyone was trying to copy Halo's homework even though it got all the answers wrong.
Little Nightmares
Little Nightmares
Clunky, floaty platforming mixed with shock-value Holocaust imagery makes for something that somehow became a successful multimedia franchise.
Twelve Minutes
Twelve Minutes
Incomprehensible garbage that squanders its celebrity cast while masquerading as a serious story.
BioShock Infinite
BioShock Infinite
A very dumb man writes a very dumb story where racism goes both ways and phrenology is proven to be a real science.

1 Comment


1 year ago

This comment was deleted


Last updated: