stovetop
511 Reviews liked by stovetop
The last time I had played Battle for Bikini Bottom (the original at least) was in 2019. According to my PS2 memory card, I had played this in 2010 prior to 2019. Back then, I never did 100% the game but I did beat it. 2019 though was the first time I 100%ed the game and I remember being so happy I finally did so since this was a game I liked a lot as a kid. I remember thinking it was great back then, but I wanted to see how I'd feel nowadays. While I don't think it's quite as good nowadays, it's still a really fun time overall.
I'd say the thing this game does best is replicating season 1-3 of SpongeBob. It doesn't always hit but when it does, this game is super funny and is basically just like those early seasons. There's a ton of callbacks to the show and references you'd only get if you've seen specific episodes. For a kid growing up on SpongeBob, this is basically like playing through a couple episodes of the show. Every voice actor from the show is here too, besides Mr. Krabs and Mermaid Man, and they don't half ass it. They bring their A game in every scene. However, going back to those two outliers, it's unfortunate they couldn't appear here. Mr. Krabs isn't too terrible, and the voice actor at least sounds like he's trying to replicate the character. Mermaid Man though is totally off and sounds pretty bad, I think. Even with those two being different tho, it's still super authentic to the show and a lot of fun seeing each scene be reminiscent of the show. The game also really replicates the world of SpongeBob well. The overworld of Bikini Bottom is done super well. You have all the main characters homes represented here. You have the Krusty Krab, the Chum Bucket. All the staple locations. The areas themselves also represent the show well. Rock Bottom, the Mermalair, Kelp Forest..even SpongeBob's Dream from that one season 1 episode appears. The characters, their dialogue and the world itself just perfectly represents the early seasons.
Getting into the gameplay itself, it's a collectathon and is basically mimicking a game like Mario 64 or Banjo Kazooie. While I don't think it's as good as either of those, for reasons I'll explain shortly, that type of game still works well in the SpongeBob universe. Instead of Stars or Jiggies, your main collectable in this game are golden spatulas. Thematically super fitting to the show, though I gotta say I never found them as satisfying to get as the aforementioned stars or jiggies. There's no jingle that plays, only a crowd cheering for the player (and SpongeBob's laugh if you're playing as him). It's just sort of a bummer since it never gave me a rush whenever I collected them like Mario 64 or Banjo did. Anyways, you collect these golden spatulas in each level alongside collecting any other assortment of collectables along the way. You have shiny objects which you get from tikis or the robots. These are used to spend on shiny object gates or to get golden spatulas from Mr. Krabs. Socks are a collectable that you can trade in to also get golden spatulas from Patrick. These are mostly easy to get but can be annoying in their placement depending on the stage. Some, mostly the first couple stage ones, require backtracking with abilities you get later on. This like barely happens at all though so if you're a Banjo Tooie hater, you might like this game. In fact, this game is maybe too linear for my liking. It's obviously no Tooie, but it's not even a Mario 64 or Kazooie in terms of its exploration. Very rarely will you travel off the beaten path to do a little side challenge but that's about it. I prefer the more open games I mentioned before for that reason, as it feels like you're being guided along a straight path most of the time. Still, what's here is mostly fun. The levels in general, besides being faithful to the show, are either pretty fun or harmless. The only two I didn't care for much were Mermalair and Kelp Forest. Both had songs that kinda got on my nerves and Kelp Forest is too dark a lot of the time and also has the worst slide in the game. My two favorite levels though, were Flying Dutchman's Graveyard and SpongeBob's Dream. I found neither annoying and they were both endgame levels so they were pretty fleshed out.
You can also play as both Patrick and Sandy, if you find a bus station in each level. They each have different abilities but basically, Patrick is strong and can throw heavy things while Sandy has a lasso she can glide with and can also swing from these lasso Texas things. Both characters change the gameplay up enough for it feel different and fun. Their move sets are simpler than SpongeBob's. His move set consists of a double jump, a bubble wand attack, a bubble butt stomp, a bubble helmet that shoots upwards, the bubble bowl which is a bowling ball you can throw to hit things and the cruise bubble which is this missile attack you can use to hit enemies or buttons from a far. Those last two abilities are ones you unlock as progress and I generally like the move set SpongeBob has. Only thing I wish he had was a movement ability. There's no long jump or talon trot here so he doesn't feel quite as fun to play as because of the lack of something like that.
Between each set of three levels, and also in some of the levels themselves, are the game's bosses. The bosses in the actual levels aren't that great imo but are fun references to the show at least. The main game's bosses you must defeat to proceed tho are actually pretty fun. They're more fleshed out and have cutscenes between phases. You also switch between characters between phases too, which again, changes up the gameplay somewhat. The final boss was definitely the best, it's a fun nod to SpongeBob's love for Karate and also to the anchor arm episode. But I also gotta give props to robot Patrick's fight. The atmosphere of the industrial park combined with the eerie music, always freaked me out a bit as a kid. Still does even now lol.
Speaking of the music, while I don't think it's that amazing overall, there are still some tracks I quite like. Jellyfish Fields is an upbeat classic, Industrial Park again is quite eerie but really good and the best track in the game is probably Flying Dutchman's Graveyard. That one just perfectly fits the level and also rocks on top of it. Like I said, there are some tracks I straight up don't like whether it's cuz the level annoyed me as a kid or I just don't like them in general, however the OST is still solid overall.
I will say, I never noticed how unpolished this game could be at times. Whether it's me clipping through a tiki that doesn't have hit detection, or the slide portions being really janky depending on how I jump, it's not as polished as thought it was back then. Still, this is super helpful to the speedrun community as the game has some well-known glitches and exploits that are actually super cool to see someone perform. I remember getting into these speedrun videos shortly before Rehydrated came out and being amazed I'm just now finding out about all them. Speaking of rehydrated, I'll just say one thing. Play this version, don't play Rehydrated for the love of god. It's so bad, the fucking warp boxes don't even animate.
One more thing I wanna mention before I end the review off, is the golden spatula warp feature. If you go into the menu, to the golden spatulas you've collected or have to collect still, you can take the taxi from the menu and warp to that location. Holy shit, this may be the best feature in this game. It's super convenient and frankly should be in more 3D Platformers lol.
This is a game I played as a kid and while I think it's not quite as good as once thought, and is not as good as Mario 64 (and definitely not as good as Banjo), it's still a fun time. It's not too long either so it's a game you can easily replay. Maybe I'd think lower of this game if I wasn't a SpongeBob fan or grew up with this, as it's just kind of an average 3D platformer, but it's still one of the best licensed games I've played because it represents the world of SpongeBob so well. Glad it holds up even to this day.
I'd say the thing this game does best is replicating season 1-3 of SpongeBob. It doesn't always hit but when it does, this game is super funny and is basically just like those early seasons. There's a ton of callbacks to the show and references you'd only get if you've seen specific episodes. For a kid growing up on SpongeBob, this is basically like playing through a couple episodes of the show. Every voice actor from the show is here too, besides Mr. Krabs and Mermaid Man, and they don't half ass it. They bring their A game in every scene. However, going back to those two outliers, it's unfortunate they couldn't appear here. Mr. Krabs isn't too terrible, and the voice actor at least sounds like he's trying to replicate the character. Mermaid Man though is totally off and sounds pretty bad, I think. Even with those two being different tho, it's still super authentic to the show and a lot of fun seeing each scene be reminiscent of the show. The game also really replicates the world of SpongeBob well. The overworld of Bikini Bottom is done super well. You have all the main characters homes represented here. You have the Krusty Krab, the Chum Bucket. All the staple locations. The areas themselves also represent the show well. Rock Bottom, the Mermalair, Kelp Forest..even SpongeBob's Dream from that one season 1 episode appears. The characters, their dialogue and the world itself just perfectly represents the early seasons.
Getting into the gameplay itself, it's a collectathon and is basically mimicking a game like Mario 64 or Banjo Kazooie. While I don't think it's as good as either of those, for reasons I'll explain shortly, that type of game still works well in the SpongeBob universe. Instead of Stars or Jiggies, your main collectable in this game are golden spatulas. Thematically super fitting to the show, though I gotta say I never found them as satisfying to get as the aforementioned stars or jiggies. There's no jingle that plays, only a crowd cheering for the player (and SpongeBob's laugh if you're playing as him). It's just sort of a bummer since it never gave me a rush whenever I collected them like Mario 64 or Banjo did. Anyways, you collect these golden spatulas in each level alongside collecting any other assortment of collectables along the way. You have shiny objects which you get from tikis or the robots. These are used to spend on shiny object gates or to get golden spatulas from Mr. Krabs. Socks are a collectable that you can trade in to also get golden spatulas from Patrick. These are mostly easy to get but can be annoying in their placement depending on the stage. Some, mostly the first couple stage ones, require backtracking with abilities you get later on. This like barely happens at all though so if you're a Banjo Tooie hater, you might like this game. In fact, this game is maybe too linear for my liking. It's obviously no Tooie, but it's not even a Mario 64 or Kazooie in terms of its exploration. Very rarely will you travel off the beaten path to do a little side challenge but that's about it. I prefer the more open games I mentioned before for that reason, as it feels like you're being guided along a straight path most of the time. Still, what's here is mostly fun. The levels in general, besides being faithful to the show, are either pretty fun or harmless. The only two I didn't care for much were Mermalair and Kelp Forest. Both had songs that kinda got on my nerves and Kelp Forest is too dark a lot of the time and also has the worst slide in the game. My two favorite levels though, were Flying Dutchman's Graveyard and SpongeBob's Dream. I found neither annoying and they were both endgame levels so they were pretty fleshed out.
You can also play as both Patrick and Sandy, if you find a bus station in each level. They each have different abilities but basically, Patrick is strong and can throw heavy things while Sandy has a lasso she can glide with and can also swing from these lasso Texas things. Both characters change the gameplay up enough for it feel different and fun. Their move sets are simpler than SpongeBob's. His move set consists of a double jump, a bubble wand attack, a bubble butt stomp, a bubble helmet that shoots upwards, the bubble bowl which is a bowling ball you can throw to hit things and the cruise bubble which is this missile attack you can use to hit enemies or buttons from a far. Those last two abilities are ones you unlock as progress and I generally like the move set SpongeBob has. Only thing I wish he had was a movement ability. There's no long jump or talon trot here so he doesn't feel quite as fun to play as because of the lack of something like that.
Between each set of three levels, and also in some of the levels themselves, are the game's bosses. The bosses in the actual levels aren't that great imo but are fun references to the show at least. The main game's bosses you must defeat to proceed tho are actually pretty fun. They're more fleshed out and have cutscenes between phases. You also switch between characters between phases too, which again, changes up the gameplay somewhat. The final boss was definitely the best, it's a fun nod to SpongeBob's love for Karate and also to the anchor arm episode. But I also gotta give props to robot Patrick's fight. The atmosphere of the industrial park combined with the eerie music, always freaked me out a bit as a kid. Still does even now lol.
Speaking of the music, while I don't think it's that amazing overall, there are still some tracks I quite like. Jellyfish Fields is an upbeat classic, Industrial Park again is quite eerie but really good and the best track in the game is probably Flying Dutchman's Graveyard. That one just perfectly fits the level and also rocks on top of it. Like I said, there are some tracks I straight up don't like whether it's cuz the level annoyed me as a kid or I just don't like them in general, however the OST is still solid overall.
I will say, I never noticed how unpolished this game could be at times. Whether it's me clipping through a tiki that doesn't have hit detection, or the slide portions being really janky depending on how I jump, it's not as polished as thought it was back then. Still, this is super helpful to the speedrun community as the game has some well-known glitches and exploits that are actually super cool to see someone perform. I remember getting into these speedrun videos shortly before Rehydrated came out and being amazed I'm just now finding out about all them. Speaking of rehydrated, I'll just say one thing. Play this version, don't play Rehydrated for the love of god. It's so bad, the fucking warp boxes don't even animate.
One more thing I wanna mention before I end the review off, is the golden spatula warp feature. If you go into the menu, to the golden spatulas you've collected or have to collect still, you can take the taxi from the menu and warp to that location. Holy shit, this may be the best feature in this game. It's super convenient and frankly should be in more 3D Platformers lol.
This is a game I played as a kid and while I think it's not quite as good as once thought, and is not as good as Mario 64 (and definitely not as good as Banjo), it's still a fun time. It's not too long either so it's a game you can easily replay. Maybe I'd think lower of this game if I wasn't a SpongeBob fan or grew up with this, as it's just kind of an average 3D platformer, but it's still one of the best licensed games I've played because it represents the world of SpongeBob so well. Glad it holds up even to this day.
The Wonderful 101
2013
Is it Platinum game to end all Platinum games? A lot of people think so depending on who you ask. The Wonderful 101 feels like a celebration of Platinum games (incl. Clover) as a studio, as well as a homage to all the mechanics that made them who they are today.
The artstyle/writing of Viewtiful Joe. The crazy fast-paced + witch time combo based combat system of Bayonetta. The insane setpieces of Metal Gear Rising. The drawing system taken straight out of Okami. The skill ceiling of God Hand. The almost endless replayability of like 90% of their games. Platinum really looked at some of the best concepts in their previous games and decided to put it all into one wonderful game. And rather than being a mess of ideas, everything works perfectly together to make something beautiful.
In the past, I've always shrugged off W101 because it looked like some kind of Pikmin clone with some action mechanics. However after recently playing some Platinum titles such as God Hand and Bayo 3, I was in the mood to give W101 a try. It shocked me to find that W101 is a game that has everything I love about Platinum titles and more, and not some kind of Pikmin clone (lmao what was I thinking).
It is an action game, but also a puzzle of some sorts. The action is what you expect from Platinum titles. Good quality satisfying punchy fast paced combat, and it is done well here like any other Platinum title. It is balanced well in both offence and defence, and if you are playing anything above Normal mode, you can win by just being offensive. The puzzle aspect of the game is actually also in the combat. In order to change weapons, you need to draw (Okami Style) the weapon formation. e.g. for the fist weapon, using the right analog stick, you draw a ciricle, or for a sword you draw a straight line. You get a whole different weapons to choose from so drawing the formation is part of the charm. Each enemy has certain weapons as weaknesses you'll need to use in order to destroy them. You can't just go around using your fist or blade weapon destroying everything in your path, you need to actually think about what you need to do, making this my favorite Platinum combat system. It is a great balance of need good action game skills, but also being clever with how you need to exploit enemy weaknesses. I could play so many games with this sort of combat system, it is seriously so good.
Everything else in the game is just a solid 10/10 from the story to writing to level design and set pieces. Some of the most insane moments I've ever seen in gaming is in this game. Like some serious Asuras Wrath shit. It isn't deep or thoughtful in the sense that most games try to be, the deepness is all in the gameplay - and I love it for that. The game knows it's nothing but absolutely fun and prides itself with that. This is an insane video game, and does the type of shit that can only be accomplished in this medium. This is what I play videogames for.
The artstyle/writing of Viewtiful Joe. The crazy fast-paced + witch time combo based combat system of Bayonetta. The insane setpieces of Metal Gear Rising. The drawing system taken straight out of Okami. The skill ceiling of God Hand. The almost endless replayability of like 90% of their games. Platinum really looked at some of the best concepts in their previous games and decided to put it all into one wonderful game. And rather than being a mess of ideas, everything works perfectly together to make something beautiful.
In the past, I've always shrugged off W101 because it looked like some kind of Pikmin clone with some action mechanics. However after recently playing some Platinum titles such as God Hand and Bayo 3, I was in the mood to give W101 a try. It shocked me to find that W101 is a game that has everything I love about Platinum titles and more, and not some kind of Pikmin clone (lmao what was I thinking).
It is an action game, but also a puzzle of some sorts. The action is what you expect from Platinum titles. Good quality satisfying punchy fast paced combat, and it is done well here like any other Platinum title. It is balanced well in both offence and defence, and if you are playing anything above Normal mode, you can win by just being offensive. The puzzle aspect of the game is actually also in the combat. In order to change weapons, you need to draw (Okami Style) the weapon formation. e.g. for the fist weapon, using the right analog stick, you draw a ciricle, or for a sword you draw a straight line. You get a whole different weapons to choose from so drawing the formation is part of the charm. Each enemy has certain weapons as weaknesses you'll need to use in order to destroy them. You can't just go around using your fist or blade weapon destroying everything in your path, you need to actually think about what you need to do, making this my favorite Platinum combat system. It is a great balance of need good action game skills, but also being clever with how you need to exploit enemy weaknesses. I could play so many games with this sort of combat system, it is seriously so good.
Everything else in the game is just a solid 10/10 from the story to writing to level design and set pieces. Some of the most insane moments I've ever seen in gaming is in this game. Like some serious Asuras Wrath shit. It isn't deep or thoughtful in the sense that most games try to be, the deepness is all in the gameplay - and I love it for that. The game knows it's nothing but absolutely fun and prides itself with that. This is an insane video game, and does the type of shit that can only be accomplished in this medium. This is what I play videogames for.
BioShock
2008
BioShock is a good first person shooter that is made into something truly great by its incredibly unique atmosphere and story. The gameplay system would be a bit dull if it wasn’t for a mechanic called “plasmids.” These are a variety of customizable abilities that range from firing elements such as lighting and flame, to placing target dummies or hypnotizing your enemies. Plasmids are always mapped to your left triggers, while your gun controls are mapped to your right triggers. It makes an otherwise fairly standard shooter feel a lot more unique and personalized to each player. The one big gameplay issue this game has is its atrocious map. Even after beating the game I still don't really understand how I'm supposed to interpret it. For some reason different levels and floors are shown on the map beside each other rather than on top and underneath each other. Often they are placed with little rhyme or reason. This game also sometimes has a bit of a lighting problem. Many environments contain a lot of grey colors and are very darkly lit, making it often hard to tell where to go and what is going on. Even still, I still think the gameplay is decently good overall; not amazing, but not at all bad either.
Where BioShock really shines is in its story and atmosphere, though I did have some issues with it so I'll get those out of the way first. Despite liking the story a lot, I noticed it often felt a little disconnected from the levels you actually play in the game. Nearly all communication with other characters takes place through a radio, and you almost never see their faces unless they're already dead. While rapture is a very cool location and does have its fair share of environmental storytelling, this games equivalent to cutscenes often consists of a character talking to you on the radio, a bunch of enemies getting dumped in the level your on, you defeating the enemies, and then a character calling you on the radio again to either curse you or congratulate you. There are very few moments where you actually get to see another character face to face or have an event happen before your eyes, though I suppose this does make the moments such as this actually contained within the game even more impactful. I won’t spoil the story but I also found the ending and final boss to be fairly disappointing.
Moving on to the good, Rapture is an absolutely incredible setting and one of the coolest and most thought out places I’ve had the privilege of exploring in a game. It's filled with this dark, moody, and creepy atmosphere combined with this sort of 1940’s - 50’s styled music and looks. It makes for something truly different than anything else I’ve ever seen, and it's really incredible. The history of Rapture as well as the character diaries that can be found within it are very well made to showcase the failures of unregulated capitalism and how disastrous it is to depend on it. The city has a complete lack of regulations under the guise of freedom (sound familiar?). This leads to record breaking progress, but decisions are made without morals or conscience. Everything in the city, dangerous or not, comes to exist for the sole purpose of driving profit, which leads rapture to its eventual downfall. I did just complain about how you are almost never face to face with any characters, but even with just their voices the game does an amazing job teaching you each and every one of their politics and ideals, and why it either brought them success or (In most cases) failed them. Among these characters is the game's main villain Andrew Ryan. Even alongside the many interesting characters this game already contains he stands out and is extremely compelling to root against. I particularly enjoyed how despite him being such a terrible person, you can tell how principled he is, and how he truly believes what he says to be the truth. It makes him feel much more threatening and is a large part of what compelled me to continue playing the game and push past some of its more creepy moments. I suppose I should mention that the game does have a sort of morality system to it, with you being able to harvest or save genetically modified children known as “little sisters.” As far as I can tell however it doesn't affect much of the game aside from the ending which is one of its weaker aspects anyways.
I think BioShock really does earn its status as such an iconic and influential game, and is something I won’t be soon forgetting. I usually don't even like first person shooters that much but I think against all odds this game has somehow broken into my top 20 list. Definitely check this game out if you’ve ever got the chance.
Where BioShock really shines is in its story and atmosphere, though I did have some issues with it so I'll get those out of the way first. Despite liking the story a lot, I noticed it often felt a little disconnected from the levels you actually play in the game. Nearly all communication with other characters takes place through a radio, and you almost never see their faces unless they're already dead. While rapture is a very cool location and does have its fair share of environmental storytelling, this games equivalent to cutscenes often consists of a character talking to you on the radio, a bunch of enemies getting dumped in the level your on, you defeating the enemies, and then a character calling you on the radio again to either curse you or congratulate you. There are very few moments where you actually get to see another character face to face or have an event happen before your eyes, though I suppose this does make the moments such as this actually contained within the game even more impactful. I won’t spoil the story but I also found the ending and final boss to be fairly disappointing.
Moving on to the good, Rapture is an absolutely incredible setting and one of the coolest and most thought out places I’ve had the privilege of exploring in a game. It's filled with this dark, moody, and creepy atmosphere combined with this sort of 1940’s - 50’s styled music and looks. It makes for something truly different than anything else I’ve ever seen, and it's really incredible. The history of Rapture as well as the character diaries that can be found within it are very well made to showcase the failures of unregulated capitalism and how disastrous it is to depend on it. The city has a complete lack of regulations under the guise of freedom (sound familiar?). This leads to record breaking progress, but decisions are made without morals or conscience. Everything in the city, dangerous or not, comes to exist for the sole purpose of driving profit, which leads rapture to its eventual downfall. I did just complain about how you are almost never face to face with any characters, but even with just their voices the game does an amazing job teaching you each and every one of their politics and ideals, and why it either brought them success or (In most cases) failed them. Among these characters is the game's main villain Andrew Ryan. Even alongside the many interesting characters this game already contains he stands out and is extremely compelling to root against. I particularly enjoyed how despite him being such a terrible person, you can tell how principled he is, and how he truly believes what he says to be the truth. It makes him feel much more threatening and is a large part of what compelled me to continue playing the game and push past some of its more creepy moments. I suppose I should mention that the game does have a sort of morality system to it, with you being able to harvest or save genetically modified children known as “little sisters.” As far as I can tell however it doesn't affect much of the game aside from the ending which is one of its weaker aspects anyways.
I think BioShock really does earn its status as such an iconic and influential game, and is something I won’t be soon forgetting. I usually don't even like first person shooters that much but I think against all odds this game has somehow broken into my top 20 list. Definitely check this game out if you’ve ever got the chance.
anyone who's known me for any amount of time could probably tell you that dragon quest is far and away my favorite series of all time, i love it dearly and to death. despite this, like most franchises i love, i struggle to reconcile with the wider opinions the fans of dragon quest hold, most of all the near universal acclaim of dragon quest 8. even the other dragon quests i don't "get" in the same way, namely 5 and 9, at least have something about them that i can understand being a hook to some even if i don't necessarily agree, but i just can not wrap my head around the fanbase's—and jrpg fans as a whole's—opinion on dragon quest 8. i understand that it had a lot uniquely going for it at the time, especially a demo for final fantasy 12, but despite most of what it had going for it at the time being less and less unique as time goes on the opinion of dragon quest 8 being one of the better dragon quest prevails, and i just don't get it.
don't get me wrong, i still enjoy this game! honestly having played every game in the mainline series other than finishing 11 at the time of writing this the only ones i even dislike are 2 and 9. in terms of positives i think dq8 has a great cast between the party and dhoulmagus, and despite the acoustics of the orchestral versions being questionable 8's soundtrack is really great. the final boss theme in 8 is unironically tied with 9 for my favorite final boss theme in the series, there was obviously as much love put into this game as every other dragon quest and that in of itself is charming to me.
however, that's sadly about where i run into the things i don't really care for. more than any other game in the series i find dragon quest 8 to be the embodiment of what most people who dislike or don't respect this series come to think of it; dragon quest 8 is a formulaic comfort food type of game without much notable to say outside of vibes and character writing. outside of dhoulmagus, yangus, and angelo there's not really that much to say about the story (and even what there is to say isn't crazy unique), the reliance on psyche-up and lack of distinct party variety outside of the 3ds version makes combat land on the less engaging side of what the series has to offer which is really not great when this game seemed to over-correct on people complaining about 7's combat-less intro (and to be honest nothing is more irritating to me than a sequel over-correcting on what made a much better game unique and appealing!), and the game is somehow on the longer end of dragon quest play times despite utilizing it the most haphazardly.
despite all that though, it's still dragon quest and i still get the base appeal! it's still a very strong 7/10 game for me and i'm glad i played it despite all of that because at the end of the day it's all dragon quest and i love dragon quest. it's just confusing and maybe a bit frustrating to see how common of a sentiment it is in the western fanbase to deride titles like 6 and 7 while parading a game like 8, maybe the most "generic" dragon quest in a series that outsiders deride for being generic, as a masterful golden goose of the entire franchise. i get that this game was the first 3d dragon quest, i get that it had voice acting and overseas it had an orchestral soundtrack, i get that there was a final fantasy 12 demo packaged with the game, and i get that plenty of people are nostalgic for this game but almost 20 years later with more and more people playing this game completely divorced from that context, what merits of its own does it really have? why out of every dragon quest game is it 8 that's so popular? i just really really don't get it.
don't get me wrong, i still enjoy this game! honestly having played every game in the mainline series other than finishing 11 at the time of writing this the only ones i even dislike are 2 and 9. in terms of positives i think dq8 has a great cast between the party and dhoulmagus, and despite the acoustics of the orchestral versions being questionable 8's soundtrack is really great. the final boss theme in 8 is unironically tied with 9 for my favorite final boss theme in the series, there was obviously as much love put into this game as every other dragon quest and that in of itself is charming to me.
however, that's sadly about where i run into the things i don't really care for. more than any other game in the series i find dragon quest 8 to be the embodiment of what most people who dislike or don't respect this series come to think of it; dragon quest 8 is a formulaic comfort food type of game without much notable to say outside of vibes and character writing. outside of dhoulmagus, yangus, and angelo there's not really that much to say about the story (and even what there is to say isn't crazy unique), the reliance on psyche-up and lack of distinct party variety outside of the 3ds version makes combat land on the less engaging side of what the series has to offer which is really not great when this game seemed to over-correct on people complaining about 7's combat-less intro (and to be honest nothing is more irritating to me than a sequel over-correcting on what made a much better game unique and appealing!), and the game is somehow on the longer end of dragon quest play times despite utilizing it the most haphazardly.
despite all that though, it's still dragon quest and i still get the base appeal! it's still a very strong 7/10 game for me and i'm glad i played it despite all of that because at the end of the day it's all dragon quest and i love dragon quest. it's just confusing and maybe a bit frustrating to see how common of a sentiment it is in the western fanbase to deride titles like 6 and 7 while parading a game like 8, maybe the most "generic" dragon quest in a series that outsiders deride for being generic, as a masterful golden goose of the entire franchise. i get that this game was the first 3d dragon quest, i get that it had voice acting and overseas it had an orchestral soundtrack, i get that there was a final fantasy 12 demo packaged with the game, and i get that plenty of people are nostalgic for this game but almost 20 years later with more and more people playing this game completely divorced from that context, what merits of its own does it really have? why out of every dragon quest game is it 8 that's so popular? i just really really don't get it.
This game taught me the word 'fuck.'
I first played Scarface: The World Is Yours on the PS2 at age 8, and I have memories of shocked guests (except for the one cool uncle who knew the movie) watching this kid play a game that yelled the F-word every 5 seconds. I have never finished this game, and I never will. I've tried a few times (a couple of years after my parents finally took away the PS2 version's disc, I burned this game onto a blank DVD to play it again), but after another day of giving it the old college try, I'm done.
It's incredible how our child selves overlooked flaws because we were just happy to have games to play. I used to think Scarface was a better GTA game than the actual GTAs, because you could go into buildings and have conversations with NPCs on the street and do vehicular combat and piss in trash cans and swim (I wasn't aware San Andreas had swimming).
Playing it as a grown man, I can see how shallow Scarface: The World Is Yours really is. If there was ever an AI-generated video game, this is what it would look like. Most of the aforementioned conversations are just you and an NPC speaking random lines at each other; the missions are repetitive and require grinding of randomly generated sidequests before you get a crumb of story; the world is designed to be faithful to the setting rather than fun to navigate. Almost all back streets have dead ends, and cars can't climb over anything. Forcing the player to stay on the road makes car chases a bore and evading the police a chore.
It's all very faithful to the movie, to a fault. The game quotes the film's classic lines into memehood. Tony Montana feels like a cartoon with Alzheimer's disease as his monologues are lifted wholesale from the film to be re-dubbed here by an impressive soundalike - Al Pacino couldn't reprise his role after one too many cigars.
If you do want to check out this curiosity piece, try the PS2 version. The PC port is bad and buggy. You've probably seen the famous glitch where Tony's head isn't attached to his body if you're playing on anything newer than Windows XP. Sometimes you're forced to restart missions because the vehicle required to do them doesn't spawn. The graphics miss details that were present in the PS2 version, such as Tony's jacket getting soaked with blood as he takes damage. I played this game with a fan-made 'remastered' patch, plus half a dozen other fixes duct-taped together to give the fucking thing controller support and better performance. It still wasn't very good.
There was more effort put into Scarface: The World Is Yours than most licensed games, but it's no Batman: Arkham City. It has a lot to do, but it makes you do it so often it gets tiresome. It hastily rewrites the ending to one of my favourite films, and proves that being in a licensed game is a fate worse than death. I will always be somewhat fond of this game because of the childhood memories, but now the rose-tinted aviator sunglasses are off.
Manolo, choot this piece of chit.
I first played Scarface: The World Is Yours on the PS2 at age 8, and I have memories of shocked guests (except for the one cool uncle who knew the movie) watching this kid play a game that yelled the F-word every 5 seconds. I have never finished this game, and I never will. I've tried a few times (a couple of years after my parents finally took away the PS2 version's disc, I burned this game onto a blank DVD to play it again), but after another day of giving it the old college try, I'm done.
It's incredible how our child selves overlooked flaws because we were just happy to have games to play. I used to think Scarface was a better GTA game than the actual GTAs, because you could go into buildings and have conversations with NPCs on the street and do vehicular combat and piss in trash cans and swim (I wasn't aware San Andreas had swimming).
Playing it as a grown man, I can see how shallow Scarface: The World Is Yours really is. If there was ever an AI-generated video game, this is what it would look like. Most of the aforementioned conversations are just you and an NPC speaking random lines at each other; the missions are repetitive and require grinding of randomly generated sidequests before you get a crumb of story; the world is designed to be faithful to the setting rather than fun to navigate. Almost all back streets have dead ends, and cars can't climb over anything. Forcing the player to stay on the road makes car chases a bore and evading the police a chore.
It's all very faithful to the movie, to a fault. The game quotes the film's classic lines into memehood. Tony Montana feels like a cartoon with Alzheimer's disease as his monologues are lifted wholesale from the film to be re-dubbed here by an impressive soundalike - Al Pacino couldn't reprise his role after one too many cigars.
If you do want to check out this curiosity piece, try the PS2 version. The PC port is bad and buggy. You've probably seen the famous glitch where Tony's head isn't attached to his body if you're playing on anything newer than Windows XP. Sometimes you're forced to restart missions because the vehicle required to do them doesn't spawn. The graphics miss details that were present in the PS2 version, such as Tony's jacket getting soaked with blood as he takes damage. I played this game with a fan-made 'remastered' patch, plus half a dozen other fixes duct-taped together to give the fucking thing controller support and better performance. It still wasn't very good.
There was more effort put into Scarface: The World Is Yours than most licensed games, but it's no Batman: Arkham City. It has a lot to do, but it makes you do it so often it gets tiresome. It hastily rewrites the ending to one of my favourite films, and proves that being in a licensed game is a fate worse than death. I will always be somewhat fond of this game because of the childhood memories, but now the rose-tinted aviator sunglasses are off.
Manolo, choot this piece of chit.
Nightdive hits it out of the park once again! The last time I beat this game, I had just come home from getting my wisdom teeth pulled and I was all doped up with a mouthful of bloody cotton. It was nice to get the chance to beat it again in full command of my faculties.
I was pretty impressed this time around at how well the game holds up. It's impossible not to compare it to Doom, and in that regard I think it makes an admirable showing. The enemy and weapon variety and design are pretty weak. Bad guys are basically all hitscanners with various levels of health, and several of the weapons don't really have a very well defined role. The thermal detonators and land mines in particular seem undercooked to the point of being missed opportunities.
Where the game really shines is in the level design. Here it is enormously helped by the setting and lore. The levels aren't naturalistic, but Star Wars movie sets themselves are rarely naturalistic, opting instead for a strong, unifying aesthetic that's instantly recognizable. It's that aesthetic that the game nails so well and made it feel like a genuinely authentic Star Wars experience.
Dark Forces came out at a really awkward time in the franchise's history. The Extended Universe existed, and there was a fanbase, but LucasArts wasn't really putting the series to work in any meaningful way. I liked the movies and had a bunch of the guys, but I was the only one I knew who was into it at all; the kids at my school thought of it as "old." It was far from a given that a AAA Doom clone in the Star Wars universe would sell, much less start a whole spin-off franchise. My memory is that this was the first 3-D Star Wars experience, and it delivered on that in spades. The authentic sound effects, extremely detailed sprites and beautiful interiors made it more immersive than anything I had seen from this franchise before.
The technical improvements over Doom are very impressive and do a lot to really open up the maps. Moving walls, conveyer belts, rooms over rooms and a handful of true 3-D objects really expand the desingers' toolsets and make for a lot of really great little surprises and help keep things fresh. This time around I did notice a bit more jank than I remember the first time; in particular a few instances of really badly misaligned textures that I thought were pretty disappointing in what was otherwise such a polished experience.
I'm mostly reviewing the original game here because as always Nightdive just nailed the remaster. The uprezzed (?) textures look great, controller play feels fantastic, the new look for the cutscenes is spot on, and the extras are all really interesting. Geezers like myself (and anyone interested in games preservation really) truly are blessed to have these guys doing such diligent, skillful work keeping these old classics alive, and I can't wait to see what they have coming next.
I was pretty impressed this time around at how well the game holds up. It's impossible not to compare it to Doom, and in that regard I think it makes an admirable showing. The enemy and weapon variety and design are pretty weak. Bad guys are basically all hitscanners with various levels of health, and several of the weapons don't really have a very well defined role. The thermal detonators and land mines in particular seem undercooked to the point of being missed opportunities.
Where the game really shines is in the level design. Here it is enormously helped by the setting and lore. The levels aren't naturalistic, but Star Wars movie sets themselves are rarely naturalistic, opting instead for a strong, unifying aesthetic that's instantly recognizable. It's that aesthetic that the game nails so well and made it feel like a genuinely authentic Star Wars experience.
Dark Forces came out at a really awkward time in the franchise's history. The Extended Universe existed, and there was a fanbase, but LucasArts wasn't really putting the series to work in any meaningful way. I liked the movies and had a bunch of the guys, but I was the only one I knew who was into it at all; the kids at my school thought of it as "old." It was far from a given that a AAA Doom clone in the Star Wars universe would sell, much less start a whole spin-off franchise. My memory is that this was the first 3-D Star Wars experience, and it delivered on that in spades. The authentic sound effects, extremely detailed sprites and beautiful interiors made it more immersive than anything I had seen from this franchise before.
The technical improvements over Doom are very impressive and do a lot to really open up the maps. Moving walls, conveyer belts, rooms over rooms and a handful of true 3-D objects really expand the desingers' toolsets and make for a lot of really great little surprises and help keep things fresh. This time around I did notice a bit more jank than I remember the first time; in particular a few instances of really badly misaligned textures that I thought were pretty disappointing in what was otherwise such a polished experience.
I'm mostly reviewing the original game here because as always Nightdive just nailed the remaster. The uprezzed (?) textures look great, controller play feels fantastic, the new look for the cutscenes is spot on, and the extras are all really interesting. Geezers like myself (and anyone interested in games preservation really) truly are blessed to have these guys doing such diligent, skillful work keeping these old classics alive, and I can't wait to see what they have coming next.
Myst
1993
Behold, my 1500th video game! This special occasion warrants nothing less than a super special review. So, what did I think? Well first, some backstory.
This past year or 2, I've been obsessed with playing games that are considered foundational. Sometimes, I don't enjoy them but I'm still glad I played them for the historical value alone which has been the case for games such as Colossal Cave Adventure, Mystery House, or Portopia. Other times, I find some of my unexpected favourite games that are actually very fun such as Wizardry, Fantasy Zone, or... oh yeah, another game by Myst's developers called The Manhole!
When I played The Manhole and its 3D remake last year, I was very captivated! These are 2 games where there is no real objective but to take in the scenery. Just explore and find hilarious imagery while listening to wacky characters. No win condition, no lose condition, no timer, no stress. In a way, this is a really avant garde method of showing that video games are more than their title suggests. That being, they aren't just "games" played for the sake of winning but perhaps important pieces of art.
With how hyped up Myst has been over the years, I decided I would make it my 1500th game on Backloggd (Jesus I've been on this site for years) knowing that it would be something special and, well....
Look. I immensely respect what Myst is going for. I really love how inspired it is, and I am sure the pre-rendered graphics were mindblowing to 1993 audiences. It's neat how several of my beloved games such as Drowned God were blatantly inspired by it, and it's arguably the most important game in the last 30 or so years due to how it was the big boom for PC gaming the world needed.
Yet, I can't feel passionately about it the way I can with The Manhole or Wizardry or even the likes of Colossal Cave Adventure. It is hard for me to be captivated by Myst's legacy when many point and click/adventure games predate it and, in my opinion, have far better QOL, gameplay, and storytelling.
As far as point and click games from before 1993 go, I have a lot of favourites. Uninvited felt like a very kinetic and replayable game with a unique horror feel. Monkey Island 1-2 are still some of the most entertaining and hilarious games I've experienced, boasting incredible artstyles and early popularization of dynamic music. The Manhole, again, was one of the very first entertainment CD-roms and it's still rather fun. Alter Ego having barely any pictures and still being one of the most engaging, deeply written games I've experienced. Hell, when looking at niche Japanese games I'm impressed at how Cosmology of Kyoto, Otogirisou, or Ihatovo Monogatari managed to breathe new life into the game medium as a whole, displaying such artistry that even the likes of Roger Ebert were impressed.
All this is to say that I don't understand at all why Myst is often defended on the basis of "well it's a 30 year old game" especially when other point-and-clicks like Monkey Island before it are still popular today. Hell, Monkey Island is probably much more fun to revisit for the average player. Monkey Island doesn't receive memes like this, at least certainly not with any frequency https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E9tXrGBWYAYBtfc.png
When trying to wrap my head around what made Myst so popular beyond the graphics, I looked at the development history behind the game and found this https://youtu.be/EWX5B6cD4_4
Myst was meant to give players a bang for their buck, resulting in a design based around "brute force" real estate to explore. With no win or lose conditions, the player could feasibly spend weeks if not months on the game. And it doesn't stop there, there is what seems to be a deliberate lack of QOL.
I found myself constantly frustrated by Myst. The save feature restarts the player at the beginning of the area rather than saving their progress, contrary to other even older adventure games. Batteries near the dock drain rather fast and need to be constantly recharged. Activating the large tree elevator is an annoying process. The main character is too much of a moron to carry two pages at a time, so if the player wants to experience every FMV they are forced to go through the same area twice, some of which can be rather confusing to navigate. The sound puzzles where the player must match 5 different sound effects in a row with very large margin of error might as well just say "fuck the deaf and the tone deaf players" good lord. I personally felt the pace broken when 10 minutes into the game I was compelled to read 4 mini-novels in a row. And perhaps most importantly, I had trouble making out a single full sentence in the red and blue books due to the overloaded static noises in the cutscenes.
Are there things I appreciate about Myst? Sure! This is far from a game without merit. The minimalist presentation is rather beautiful, with the pre-rendered images and FMVs still holding their own against photorealistic graphics from far stronger hardware. The atmosphere can be rather immersive a lot of the time, with the sound effects being very convincing for every action in the game. I rec listening to this part of the Ars Technica documentary, since it explains things better than I could https://youtu.be/EWX5B6cD4_4?t=860
It's truly a technical engineering feat. Also, after the player obtains the true ending, they are allowed to just explore the island. It really gives me the impression their earlier work on The Manhole helped shape some decisions in this game, and that's just lovely.
Well, that's Myst. It's a technically impressive game, but far from a fun one in my opinion. It was only while writing this review that, perhaps, it hit me.
Everybody has their own unique perspective and experiences that shapes them into the EPIC GAMER they are today. I saved Myst for a rainy day, subconsciously putting it on a pedestal in my head. Most of the people who told me how much they loved Myst mentioned it being a formative artistic experience for them. Could it be because I had the liberty of playing so many untranslated JP adventure games, more modern adventure games, and so forth before Myst, its impact was lost on me?
1500 games is a lot of fucking games. There is an alternate universe out there where I was fascinated by Myst and fell in love with it, rather than found it frustrating in my mid 20s. In fact, this is what one of the developers theorized; only maybe half of players even left the first island. Yet, so many young players who discovered the game left with quite an impression, that they played something which resonated with them FOR the unfamiliar mystique, rather than despite it https://youtu.be/EWX5B6cD4_4?t=1070
When I started typing this review, I wasn't sure if I was happy I played Myst. Yet now, I feel confident I am happy it was my 1500th game. It was not a waste of time, but a good reminder of how games are more than what I play. They are artistic statements, impressive feats of software development, and parts of our culture. The cynic in me can say Myst is a subpar adventure game that only had any success due to the photorealistic graphics. Yet, I'm more inclined to ask one thing:
Is there any game which better embodies the culture of early PC gaming and the appeal of pre-rendered graphics?
God, I fucking love video games.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e49OXXBX3Ko
This past year or 2, I've been obsessed with playing games that are considered foundational. Sometimes, I don't enjoy them but I'm still glad I played them for the historical value alone which has been the case for games such as Colossal Cave Adventure, Mystery House, or Portopia. Other times, I find some of my unexpected favourite games that are actually very fun such as Wizardry, Fantasy Zone, or... oh yeah, another game by Myst's developers called The Manhole!
When I played The Manhole and its 3D remake last year, I was very captivated! These are 2 games where there is no real objective but to take in the scenery. Just explore and find hilarious imagery while listening to wacky characters. No win condition, no lose condition, no timer, no stress. In a way, this is a really avant garde method of showing that video games are more than their title suggests. That being, they aren't just "games" played for the sake of winning but perhaps important pieces of art.
With how hyped up Myst has been over the years, I decided I would make it my 1500th game on Backloggd (Jesus I've been on this site for years) knowing that it would be something special and, well....
Look. I immensely respect what Myst is going for. I really love how inspired it is, and I am sure the pre-rendered graphics were mindblowing to 1993 audiences. It's neat how several of my beloved games such as Drowned God were blatantly inspired by it, and it's arguably the most important game in the last 30 or so years due to how it was the big boom for PC gaming the world needed.
Yet, I can't feel passionately about it the way I can with The Manhole or Wizardry or even the likes of Colossal Cave Adventure. It is hard for me to be captivated by Myst's legacy when many point and click/adventure games predate it and, in my opinion, have far better QOL, gameplay, and storytelling.
As far as point and click games from before 1993 go, I have a lot of favourites. Uninvited felt like a very kinetic and replayable game with a unique horror feel. Monkey Island 1-2 are still some of the most entertaining and hilarious games I've experienced, boasting incredible artstyles and early popularization of dynamic music. The Manhole, again, was one of the very first entertainment CD-roms and it's still rather fun. Alter Ego having barely any pictures and still being one of the most engaging, deeply written games I've experienced. Hell, when looking at niche Japanese games I'm impressed at how Cosmology of Kyoto, Otogirisou, or Ihatovo Monogatari managed to breathe new life into the game medium as a whole, displaying such artistry that even the likes of Roger Ebert were impressed.
All this is to say that I don't understand at all why Myst is often defended on the basis of "well it's a 30 year old game" especially when other point-and-clicks like Monkey Island before it are still popular today. Hell, Monkey Island is probably much more fun to revisit for the average player. Monkey Island doesn't receive memes like this, at least certainly not with any frequency https://pbs.twimg.com/media/E9tXrGBWYAYBtfc.png
When trying to wrap my head around what made Myst so popular beyond the graphics, I looked at the development history behind the game and found this https://youtu.be/EWX5B6cD4_4
Myst was meant to give players a bang for their buck, resulting in a design based around "brute force" real estate to explore. With no win or lose conditions, the player could feasibly spend weeks if not months on the game. And it doesn't stop there, there is what seems to be a deliberate lack of QOL.
I found myself constantly frustrated by Myst. The save feature restarts the player at the beginning of the area rather than saving their progress, contrary to other even older adventure games. Batteries near the dock drain rather fast and need to be constantly recharged. Activating the large tree elevator is an annoying process. The main character is too much of a moron to carry two pages at a time, so if the player wants to experience every FMV they are forced to go through the same area twice, some of which can be rather confusing to navigate. The sound puzzles where the player must match 5 different sound effects in a row with very large margin of error might as well just say "fuck the deaf and the tone deaf players" good lord. I personally felt the pace broken when 10 minutes into the game I was compelled to read 4 mini-novels in a row. And perhaps most importantly, I had trouble making out a single full sentence in the red and blue books due to the overloaded static noises in the cutscenes.
Are there things I appreciate about Myst? Sure! This is far from a game without merit. The minimalist presentation is rather beautiful, with the pre-rendered images and FMVs still holding their own against photorealistic graphics from far stronger hardware. The atmosphere can be rather immersive a lot of the time, with the sound effects being very convincing for every action in the game. I rec listening to this part of the Ars Technica documentary, since it explains things better than I could https://youtu.be/EWX5B6cD4_4?t=860
It's truly a technical engineering feat. Also, after the player obtains the true ending, they are allowed to just explore the island. It really gives me the impression their earlier work on The Manhole helped shape some decisions in this game, and that's just lovely.
Well, that's Myst. It's a technically impressive game, but far from a fun one in my opinion. It was only while writing this review that, perhaps, it hit me.
Everybody has their own unique perspective and experiences that shapes them into the EPIC GAMER they are today. I saved Myst for a rainy day, subconsciously putting it on a pedestal in my head. Most of the people who told me how much they loved Myst mentioned it being a formative artistic experience for them. Could it be because I had the liberty of playing so many untranslated JP adventure games, more modern adventure games, and so forth before Myst, its impact was lost on me?
1500 games is a lot of fucking games. There is an alternate universe out there where I was fascinated by Myst and fell in love with it, rather than found it frustrating in my mid 20s. In fact, this is what one of the developers theorized; only maybe half of players even left the first island. Yet, so many young players who discovered the game left with quite an impression, that they played something which resonated with them FOR the unfamiliar mystique, rather than despite it https://youtu.be/EWX5B6cD4_4?t=1070
When I started typing this review, I wasn't sure if I was happy I played Myst. Yet now, I feel confident I am happy it was my 1500th game. It was not a waste of time, but a good reminder of how games are more than what I play. They are artistic statements, impressive feats of software development, and parts of our culture. The cynic in me can say Myst is a subpar adventure game that only had any success due to the photorealistic graphics. Yet, I'm more inclined to ask one thing:
Is there any game which better embodies the culture of early PC gaming and the appeal of pre-rendered graphics?
God, I fucking love video games.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e49OXXBX3Ko
Doronko Wanko
2024
profound air sucking DOOOOOOOOOOG!! That's my dog, except it's not the same breed, and huuh it's not my dog BUT he gets away with chicaneries as easily. So, the massive dad takes his kids to Belize, I think that's the story I can't read japanese (trial & error to find the language settings goes hard) and mom is in an highly comative state. That's a recipe for disaster. Here come dat boi, literal mud sponge marking his territory in the filthiest of ways. Press Reload button to reload and press Fire button to fire that's the gameplay loop, which actually is great foreshadowing of the minigun hat- what?? Psalm 37:13 - But the lord laughs at the wicked, for he knows their day is coming.
Little thing gets pampered with collectibles every 5 seconds, I know he's cute but that is a bit excessive. Dogs have that TikTok attention span tho and he can't get outside so he needs to be rewarded for doing tricks, which is more of a prank gone wrong in this case, which moreso went as planned, anyways there are a few environmental puzzles mostly for the sake of it, this game is very short it clocks in below an hour but in dog years its like 7 hours, I don't know why I said that when I was talking about the puzzles, they're pretty fun and obvious, that's about it.
Okay I don't know how high Pomeranians can jump, clearly this one is weighed down by all the mud so I cut him some slack, but he can barely go above a chair. I don't think I've seen a dog jump straight onto a table so that's probably for the best, my own dog cant even climb chairs but he does jump on beds. Closing parenthesis it's cool to see what the new employees could do as a quick project, it really feels like a game made by japanese devs, not so sure abt the Namco identity, unless the 300 pomerillions in damage property are a subtle reference to Blue Protocol. Bravo!
Little thing gets pampered with collectibles every 5 seconds, I know he's cute but that is a bit excessive. Dogs have that TikTok attention span tho and he can't get outside so he needs to be rewarded for doing tricks, which is more of a prank gone wrong in this case, which moreso went as planned, anyways there are a few environmental puzzles mostly for the sake of it, this game is very short it clocks in below an hour but in dog years its like 7 hours, I don't know why I said that when I was talking about the puzzles, they're pretty fun and obvious, that's about it.
Okay I don't know how high Pomeranians can jump, clearly this one is weighed down by all the mud so I cut him some slack, but he can barely go above a chair. I don't think I've seen a dog jump straight onto a table so that's probably for the best, my own dog cant even climb chairs but he does jump on beds. Closing parenthesis it's cool to see what the new employees could do as a quick project, it really feels like a game made by japanese devs, not so sure abt the Namco identity, unless the 300 pomerillions in damage property are a subtle reference to Blue Protocol. Bravo!
Celeste
2018
First review of 2024 baby! What a first game to start the year. I first played this back in 2019 and absolutely loved it. I beat all of the chapters, both A and B sides but never did any of the C sides nor did I get all the strawberries. This playthrough I did tho and man it felt good. Before I get into that let me talk about why this game is so great.
Why don't I just get right into the story first. When I first played, I remember being blown away by the story and absolutely loving it. While I do still think it's good, there was something bothering me throughout and it may just be a me thing. Theo, he's not a bad character but why all the mentions of selfies and his social media 😭. I hate to say it but it was really taking me out of the story at points. It was definitely the biggest issue I had when replaying this. Otherwise though, the Madeline side of the story is really good. I like how anyone that plays this game can at least relate to her need to overcome her personal demons and I think the fact they made it so she accepts them for what they are instead of just trying to bury them completely, I like that execution way more. They portrayed anxiety and depression super well and I think that's the game's strongest aspect when it come's to story.
The soundtrack is pretty solid, tho I remember loving it back then which I wouldn't say I love it now. Don't get me wrong, it's good and there are some standout tracks in certain chapters but I didn't like it as much as I did in 2019 I think. Maybe it was because I was more focused on playing the game and didn't pay attention to the music too much this time around? I also maybe wasn't a fan of the voices they gave the characters. Idk some of the time I found it kinda annoying which is a shame.
As for some of the biggest positives, the game is amazing visually. The pixel art is pretty much perfect the whole way through and the backgrounds in some of these chapters are breathtaking. Golden Ridge I think was the standout especially, it was gorgeous.
Now we come to my favorite part of the game, the gameplay. This is easily one of the most fun 2D platformers I've ever played. It's just so polished and the level design is so good. One of my favorite things was just finding all the secrets, there's a ton of them whether it's hidden strawberries or crystal hearts or B side tapes or even that one hidden indie game screen I somehow found by doing the wavedash (that was insane) they're all really fun to find. I also really love just how many different techniques you can perform. A lot of them aren't explained until late late game or not even at all and they can really break the game sometimes, it's awesome. Celeste is also extremely difficult I'm sure you know. Indeed, some of the later levels in the base game can get super duper hard. The B sides and C sides especially, some of those were nuts. As I said, I did everything in the base game...everything except for the golden strawberries. I got the one in chapter 1 A side but that was it. They just don't feel too worth it since it's not new content...just surviving an entire chapter without dying which isn't too fun imo. As for the hardest part of the base game, that hands down has to go to Chapter 7 Side C. Jesus Christ that last fucking screen took me 3 hours in-game time and exactly 1152 deaths. None of the other chapters came close to that many deaths and you know what, I'm so glad I did it. I'll never do it again mind you, but I told myself that if I did it...I'd bump this game to a 9. So for now that's what I'll do tho I may bump it down to an 8.5 who knows.
I do have some issues that are more a me thing but this game is super fun and definitely a top tier indie in my book.
Oh and as for farewell...yes I'll be doing that next and yes I am very scared. I got up to the point where you're required to wavedash back in 2019 and then quit. I've heard it's extremely brutal in the 2nd half so I'm nervous but I will persevere boys. Wish me luck!
Why don't I just get right into the story first. When I first played, I remember being blown away by the story and absolutely loving it. While I do still think it's good, there was something bothering me throughout and it may just be a me thing. Theo, he's not a bad character but why all the mentions of selfies and his social media 😭. I hate to say it but it was really taking me out of the story at points. It was definitely the biggest issue I had when replaying this. Otherwise though, the Madeline side of the story is really good. I like how anyone that plays this game can at least relate to her need to overcome her personal demons and I think the fact they made it so she accepts them for what they are instead of just trying to bury them completely, I like that execution way more. They portrayed anxiety and depression super well and I think that's the game's strongest aspect when it come's to story.
The soundtrack is pretty solid, tho I remember loving it back then which I wouldn't say I love it now. Don't get me wrong, it's good and there are some standout tracks in certain chapters but I didn't like it as much as I did in 2019 I think. Maybe it was because I was more focused on playing the game and didn't pay attention to the music too much this time around? I also maybe wasn't a fan of the voices they gave the characters. Idk some of the time I found it kinda annoying which is a shame.
As for some of the biggest positives, the game is amazing visually. The pixel art is pretty much perfect the whole way through and the backgrounds in some of these chapters are breathtaking. Golden Ridge I think was the standout especially, it was gorgeous.
Now we come to my favorite part of the game, the gameplay. This is easily one of the most fun 2D platformers I've ever played. It's just so polished and the level design is so good. One of my favorite things was just finding all the secrets, there's a ton of them whether it's hidden strawberries or crystal hearts or B side tapes or even that one hidden indie game screen I somehow found by doing the wavedash (that was insane) they're all really fun to find. I also really love just how many different techniques you can perform. A lot of them aren't explained until late late game or not even at all and they can really break the game sometimes, it's awesome. Celeste is also extremely difficult I'm sure you know. Indeed, some of the later levels in the base game can get super duper hard. The B sides and C sides especially, some of those were nuts. As I said, I did everything in the base game...everything except for the golden strawberries. I got the one in chapter 1 A side but that was it. They just don't feel too worth it since it's not new content...just surviving an entire chapter without dying which isn't too fun imo. As for the hardest part of the base game, that hands down has to go to Chapter 7 Side C. Jesus Christ that last fucking screen took me 3 hours in-game time and exactly 1152 deaths. None of the other chapters came close to that many deaths and you know what, I'm so glad I did it. I'll never do it again mind you, but I told myself that if I did it...I'd bump this game to a 9. So for now that's what I'll do tho I may bump it down to an 8.5 who knows.
I do have some issues that are more a me thing but this game is super fun and definitely a top tier indie in my book.
Oh and as for farewell...yes I'll be doing that next and yes I am very scared. I got up to the point where you're required to wavedash back in 2019 and then quit. I've heard it's extremely brutal in the 2nd half so I'm nervous but I will persevere boys. Wish me luck!
Im not a big fan of Telltale or this style of game, and Borderlands only barely works in this format - but Tales From The Borderlands is captivating for one real reason: it is meta-commentary. I have no clue if its on purpose but Rhys running around haunted by the literal ghost of Handsome Jack seems to curiously mirror how the series struggled to get out from under the shadow of Jack itself. Its a very poetic observation.
Its even more poetic considering that it doesnt seem like its worked out for Borderlands as a franchise quite as well as it did for Rhys. I also personally mourn the loss of mystique for Hyperion, made all too mortal and comprehensible by the events of Tales (made partially as a companion to the events of Pre-Sequel). Something of a bittersweet feeling emerges here: yes, Tales From The Borderlands is entertaining but its also…. not really Borderlands.
Its even more poetic considering that it doesnt seem like its worked out for Borderlands as a franchise quite as well as it did for Rhys. I also personally mourn the loss of mystique for Hyperion, made all too mortal and comprehensible by the events of Tales (made partially as a companion to the events of Pre-Sequel). Something of a bittersweet feeling emerges here: yes, Tales From The Borderlands is entertaining but its also…. not really Borderlands.
I would like to thank @duhnuhnuh for gifting me this game, as a part of their massive Steam Key giveaway, and I’d recommend checking it out if you’d like to try some games out for the cost of absolutely nothing.
Shantae and the Seven Sirens is sure the fifth video game entry in the Shantae video game series released on video game consoles in 2020.
Going back a few years, Shantae and the Seven Sirens feels bizarre. It entered development around March 2018-ish, and was revealed about a year later, simply as Shantae 5. It was somewhat exciting to me, as someone who hadn't played a Shantae game yet but was definitely interested in the series. I grew up watching the Shantae Pirate’s Curse commercials on the 3DS, so I knew all of the characters, and I also heard that FUCKING MUSIC! But fast-forward a few months, it was eventually revealed that it would be a timed Apple Arcade exclusive, and I think the Shantae fans died a little inside, but rest assured, the game was fully released… to no avail! I had genuinely not seen anybody talk about the new game. The Steam reception seemed positive, the Metacritic scores were solid, so what happened? It wasn't until my Summer of 2022 Shantae binge that I would beat and finish almost every game in the series, save for two. Shantae (the first one), because of a crash that was seemingly exclusive to Switch and 3DS, and Seven Sirens, and by god. I could tell why this game went under the radar. It was really… meh, for the lack of a better term. I had only played till about the first zone, but the game really lacked the fun factor of Pirate’s Curse, nor did it have the phenomenal level design of Half Genie Hero,and overall, it was just really fucking easy. Over a year later after release though, the game received a brand new update which gave it a Definitive Mode alongside 3 other modes, which was nice, although it also released to basically no fanfare. Did every Shantae fan just… disappear between 2018 and then? I wasn't aware of the new update as I was using a less than legal copy, but now that I have the Steam version, it's time to give the game another look. With the Definitive Mode, is Shantae and the Seven Sirens a worthwhile package? Or does it give me scurvy? The biggest issue is it’s lack of risk taking with the tried-and true Shantae formula, unlike the previous 3 games, making it feel very by the numbers as yet another entry in the Shantae franchise. And none of the games have felt so... generic before. Let’s pop open the hatch, and see why Seven Sirens is so disappointing (to me, at least).
Right off the bat, I do have a few praises regarding how WayForward implemented these 4 new game modes. While the Definitive Mode takes precedence over the Legacy Mode, if you wish, you can also revert to the Legacy Mode on a save by save basis, which is pretty nice. But also, another negative right off the bat. The graphics. I don’t like em, never have and never will; hell, I’ll goes as far as to say that the aesthetics are fundamentally flawed. A majority of this game’s graphics are follow the style of Half Genie Hero, but there’s a big issue with how the game is presented. Half Genie Hero was a beautiful game, being presented in the 2.5D art style that looked incredible on the eyes. The background had so many layers, the models were high quality, it was a really pretty looking indie game. Compare this screenshot to this one from Seven Sirens and the problem should be immediately apparent. Seven Sirens is presented in a 2D plain, and it looks flatter than my man boobs, not to mention the occasional model in the overworld which just looks out of place, like the many plants you’ll find. The cutscenes are the strongest visual aspect to the game. Studio Trigger animated the intro to the game, and it looks great. It's a bit too general for my tastes, as Risky really isn't a major part of the story, but it still looks frantic and fun overall. The in-game cutscenes aren't as fast paced as the first, but it still looks okay to me. But aside from the in-game cutscenes, it just doesn’t look appealing to me, akin to how the soundtrack never caught my ears.
You can really feel the loss of Jake Kaufman in the sound department here. The soundtrack of each individual Shantae game has been mostly solid, maybe save for the first game, but at least that released on GBC, and the compositions were actually pretty catchy. The composition team behind Seven Sirens was lead by Professor Sakamoto, and a variety of composer contributed to the soundtrack. But, what happened here??? All of it takes a chiptune-esque approach, which is fine (albeit odd for a hand-drawn graphic platformer), but it simply doesn’t sound memorable, nor really all that good. There’s a few decent songs here and there, but for the most part, the music is just… noise. No cohesion or anything., just… music… It’s easily my least favorite soundtrack in the entire series, and I really hope they can clap back with Advance.
When it comes to the game itself, it’s... odd to say the least, at least when it comes to progression and structure. Classic Shantae (2000 and Risky’s Revenge) had a big open map, while the Modern Games (Pirate’s Curse and Half Genie Hero) had much smaller, multiple maps. Sure, Half Genie Hero made it a level-by-level structure, but you still had to use your abilities to explore through to progress. It worked, although it was awkward at times to backtrack. Seven Sirens returns to the Classic Shantae style while also mixing in Modern Shantae, to somewhat mediocre results. Unlike previous Shantae games which had you use your abilities to progress, Shantae and the Seven Sirens opted for a more “find x item, bring it to here” design. It’s not terrible, but a part of me really missed the more character based progression of the previous games. It gave you an “Aha!” moment, but Seven Sirens doesn’t really do that all too well. At best, I really felt a sense of satisfaction that I was at least making progress, but what game fails at that? Maybe it’s because the abilities themselves... kind of suck.
Seven Sirens attempts to integrate the animals into your moveset, but it doesn’t really feel as great at how Pirate’s Curse did it. In Pirate’s Curse, you were always using all of your abilities at once. Not because you necessarily had to, but it was really fun to do so, and most of the level design in that game encouraged that. Big, flat open plain with a bunch of enemies you don't want to deal with? Annihilate their asses with the Dash. Seven Sirens, on the other hand, fails at this. I really only enjoyed the Newt Dash. The rest are kind of okay. You use them to progress. That’s it. No practical uses outside of combat, like Elephant, or Monkey from the classic games. But, if Shantae is a belly dancing genie, watt about her dances though? So… the dances. They’re all pretty annoying. Not only do they eat up your magic, meaning players going for the most combat-positive upgrades are essentially shot in the foot. But the dances themselves are really, really boring. Shantae uses an element, changes something in the current room, get the thing you need, move on. Needless to say. It’s not FUN. It’s so boring, like, is this REALLY the best you could do? What if the transformations changed your player character, but they all have different movesets which provide individual benefits? As it stands, the current system, it’s really not all that great.
As for the level design… it’s just your average Metroidvania level design. Well, what’s the issue? It’s JUST your average Metroidvania level design. Enemies are present in the map, everything connects together, use ability (without any inherent satisfaction to be had as it’s the most predictable thing you can fucking imagine), move on. Seriously, what happened to the level design in between Half Genie Hero and Seven Sirens? The levels aren’t dynamic at all, and not even the fucking enemies are different. It’s just so… AVERAGE. Ugh. At least the enemies are occasionally fun to fight, but good lord. Not to mention the multi-staged fetch quests throughout Paradise Island. Shantae’s fetch quests, at least since Pirate’s Curse, have been pretty reserved. Usually you have to return to an area only once, rarely twice, and never again. And it was actually fun, since all of your abilities were awesome to use, complimenting the previous level design. Sure, Half-Genie Hero wasn't as great in this aspect, as the animals weren't integrated into your moves, but at the very least you had the teleport dance, as well as less backtracking in general. Seven Sirens is absolutely loaded with this, but unlike Pirate’s Curse, the moveset is just too unviable for general use. There's a few more than Pirate’s Curse, but once again, they're not all for general use. The best out of the few is easily the triple jump and dash. The rest are just awkwardly bad. The shell is too unwieldy for general platforming, and hitting a big enough enemy completely stops it. It's thankfully manually charged, unlike Pirate's Curse, which was a bit finicky, but it's still eclipsed by the Pirate's Curse dash. And the Drill and Frog just kinda… sucked. They're just too slow and tedious, good lord. That's the best way to describe this game. It's not doing anything innovative, just existing half of the time. And it infuriates me. There needs to be a case study on how Seven Sirens fails at competent modern Metroidvania design. Rather than expressing its level design through your own player character, it remains stagnant by only requiring the bare minimum of you, leaving it as the least engaging of the centrilogy, soon to be hexology. Advance better not have these problems, because this game is severely lacking in the fun factor of the previous games.
But why are we traveling through this big, open world, gaining new abilities and rescuing these half-naked women? Well, look no further than the plot. Shantae and her friends are invited to “Paradise Island” (seriously???), an island filled with sunshine non-stop. It's here where Shantae meets four other Half Genies, as a plot point established in the first game; Plink, the smallest one, Vera, the best one, Zapple, the strong one, Filin, obviously Rottytops, and Harmony, the tallest one, holy shit. All of them get ready for a massive Half-Genie Festival, but on the night of the festival, all of the genies (sparing Shantae) disappear. Determined to find answers, Shantae explores all throughout Paradise Island in search of the Half-Genies. Risky Boots is encountered but denies any foul-play at hand The Half-Genies and even the bosses themselves are pretty one-note for the most part. It's about as video-gamey as plot structure gets. Find Half-Genie, kill Siren, bam, onto the next thing. Oh, but surprise surprise, Risky Boots was behind the entire thing!!! Well, partially at least. Because the Empress Siren made a deal with Risky if Risky kidnapped the 5 Half-Genies. Soooo… yeah. Almost entirely Risky’s fault. But here’s the thing. If Risky wanted to kidnap the genies, how in the HELL did she not take notice to Shantae? Shantae is Risky's arch nemesis; she’s SEEN Shantae do her genie moves in previous games. Why only leave Shantae? Why not kidnap them all? Sure, It’d be overkill, but nobody else would be able to rescue the Half Genes, let alone Rottytops and friends while they’re lazing about. Oh, and the Empress Siren? She just feeds off of the Genies to survive because Harmony’s mother placed a spell on her. Then she practically kills Risky, and then plans to become immortal by taking everyone’s life force. They fight, a shitty boss battle occurs- WAIT.
I’m completely with Yuzrnaime on this, the fights are genuinely TERRIBLE. Not only do they have an UNHEALTHY amount of HP, a majority of them sped long periods of time in invulnerability. IT’S GENUINELY IRRITATING. I’d type out a long ass rant, but I’m writing this at 2AM. Bitch, PLEASE. But once you kill Empress, she dies, Risky comes back, Shantae and friends leave, the end. Sweet dreams.
Seven Sirens is certainly one of the most disappointing games I've ever played through. As a follow up to the two best entries in the series, it really falters. It's a game with 80% hot air in between it's content, succeeding at almost nothing it does in the remaining 20%. I didn't feel terribly angry while playing, just mildly annoyed. Shantae's abilities? Occasionally fun, but mostly annoying. The world map? Generic and mostly annoying. The dungeon designs? Among the worst in the series for simply how annoying they are. The bosses? Padded out and annoying. The music? Bland, and more importantly, annoying. I left Seven Sirens mostly ambivalent to its content, no desire to really play it, but most importantly, annoyed. I feel annoyed at this game's very existence. Not angry. Simply. Annoyed.
Shantae and the Seven Sirens is sure the fifth video game entry in the Shantae video game series released on video game consoles in 2020.
Going back a few years, Shantae and the Seven Sirens feels bizarre. It entered development around March 2018-ish, and was revealed about a year later, simply as Shantae 5. It was somewhat exciting to me, as someone who hadn't played a Shantae game yet but was definitely interested in the series. I grew up watching the Shantae Pirate’s Curse commercials on the 3DS, so I knew all of the characters, and I also heard that FUCKING MUSIC! But fast-forward a few months, it was eventually revealed that it would be a timed Apple Arcade exclusive, and I think the Shantae fans died a little inside, but rest assured, the game was fully released… to no avail! I had genuinely not seen anybody talk about the new game. The Steam reception seemed positive, the Metacritic scores were solid, so what happened? It wasn't until my Summer of 2022 Shantae binge that I would beat and finish almost every game in the series, save for two. Shantae (the first one), because of a crash that was seemingly exclusive to Switch and 3DS, and Seven Sirens, and by god. I could tell why this game went under the radar. It was really… meh, for the lack of a better term. I had only played till about the first zone, but the game really lacked the fun factor of Pirate’s Curse, nor did it have the phenomenal level design of Half Genie Hero,and overall, it was just really fucking easy. Over a year later after release though, the game received a brand new update which gave it a Definitive Mode alongside 3 other modes, which was nice, although it also released to basically no fanfare. Did every Shantae fan just… disappear between 2018 and then? I wasn't aware of the new update as I was using a less than legal copy, but now that I have the Steam version, it's time to give the game another look. With the Definitive Mode, is Shantae and the Seven Sirens a worthwhile package? Or does it give me scurvy? The biggest issue is it’s lack of risk taking with the tried-and true Shantae formula, unlike the previous 3 games, making it feel very by the numbers as yet another entry in the Shantae franchise. And none of the games have felt so... generic before. Let’s pop open the hatch, and see why Seven Sirens is so disappointing (to me, at least).
Right off the bat, I do have a few praises regarding how WayForward implemented these 4 new game modes. While the Definitive Mode takes precedence over the Legacy Mode, if you wish, you can also revert to the Legacy Mode on a save by save basis, which is pretty nice. But also, another negative right off the bat. The graphics. I don’t like em, never have and never will; hell, I’ll goes as far as to say that the aesthetics are fundamentally flawed. A majority of this game’s graphics are follow the style of Half Genie Hero, but there’s a big issue with how the game is presented. Half Genie Hero was a beautiful game, being presented in the 2.5D art style that looked incredible on the eyes. The background had so many layers, the models were high quality, it was a really pretty looking indie game. Compare this screenshot to this one from Seven Sirens and the problem should be immediately apparent. Seven Sirens is presented in a 2D plain, and it looks flatter than my man boobs, not to mention the occasional model in the overworld which just looks out of place, like the many plants you’ll find. The cutscenes are the strongest visual aspect to the game. Studio Trigger animated the intro to the game, and it looks great. It's a bit too general for my tastes, as Risky really isn't a major part of the story, but it still looks frantic and fun overall. The in-game cutscenes aren't as fast paced as the first, but it still looks okay to me. But aside from the in-game cutscenes, it just doesn’t look appealing to me, akin to how the soundtrack never caught my ears.
You can really feel the loss of Jake Kaufman in the sound department here. The soundtrack of each individual Shantae game has been mostly solid, maybe save for the first game, but at least that released on GBC, and the compositions were actually pretty catchy. The composition team behind Seven Sirens was lead by Professor Sakamoto, and a variety of composer contributed to the soundtrack. But, what happened here??? All of it takes a chiptune-esque approach, which is fine (albeit odd for a hand-drawn graphic platformer), but it simply doesn’t sound memorable, nor really all that good. There’s a few decent songs here and there, but for the most part, the music is just… noise. No cohesion or anything., just… music… It’s easily my least favorite soundtrack in the entire series, and I really hope they can clap back with Advance.
When it comes to the game itself, it’s... odd to say the least, at least when it comes to progression and structure. Classic Shantae (2000 and Risky’s Revenge) had a big open map, while the Modern Games (Pirate’s Curse and Half Genie Hero) had much smaller, multiple maps. Sure, Half Genie Hero made it a level-by-level structure, but you still had to use your abilities to explore through to progress. It worked, although it was awkward at times to backtrack. Seven Sirens returns to the Classic Shantae style while also mixing in Modern Shantae, to somewhat mediocre results. Unlike previous Shantae games which had you use your abilities to progress, Shantae and the Seven Sirens opted for a more “find x item, bring it to here” design. It’s not terrible, but a part of me really missed the more character based progression of the previous games. It gave you an “Aha!” moment, but Seven Sirens doesn’t really do that all too well. At best, I really felt a sense of satisfaction that I was at least making progress, but what game fails at that? Maybe it’s because the abilities themselves... kind of suck.
Seven Sirens attempts to integrate the animals into your moveset, but it doesn’t really feel as great at how Pirate’s Curse did it. In Pirate’s Curse, you were always using all of your abilities at once. Not because you necessarily had to, but it was really fun to do so, and most of the level design in that game encouraged that. Big, flat open plain with a bunch of enemies you don't want to deal with? Annihilate their asses with the Dash. Seven Sirens, on the other hand, fails at this. I really only enjoyed the Newt Dash. The rest are kind of okay. You use them to progress. That’s it. No practical uses outside of combat, like Elephant, or Monkey from the classic games. But, if Shantae is a belly dancing genie, watt about her dances though? So… the dances. They’re all pretty annoying. Not only do they eat up your magic, meaning players going for the most combat-positive upgrades are essentially shot in the foot. But the dances themselves are really, really boring. Shantae uses an element, changes something in the current room, get the thing you need, move on. Needless to say. It’s not FUN. It’s so boring, like, is this REALLY the best you could do? What if the transformations changed your player character, but they all have different movesets which provide individual benefits? As it stands, the current system, it’s really not all that great.
As for the level design… it’s just your average Metroidvania level design. Well, what’s the issue? It’s JUST your average Metroidvania level design. Enemies are present in the map, everything connects together, use ability (without any inherent satisfaction to be had as it’s the most predictable thing you can fucking imagine), move on. Seriously, what happened to the level design in between Half Genie Hero and Seven Sirens? The levels aren’t dynamic at all, and not even the fucking enemies are different. It’s just so… AVERAGE. Ugh. At least the enemies are occasionally fun to fight, but good lord. Not to mention the multi-staged fetch quests throughout Paradise Island. Shantae’s fetch quests, at least since Pirate’s Curse, have been pretty reserved. Usually you have to return to an area only once, rarely twice, and never again. And it was actually fun, since all of your abilities were awesome to use, complimenting the previous level design. Sure, Half-Genie Hero wasn't as great in this aspect, as the animals weren't integrated into your moves, but at the very least you had the teleport dance, as well as less backtracking in general. Seven Sirens is absolutely loaded with this, but unlike Pirate’s Curse, the moveset is just too unviable for general use. There's a few more than Pirate’s Curse, but once again, they're not all for general use. The best out of the few is easily the triple jump and dash. The rest are just awkwardly bad. The shell is too unwieldy for general platforming, and hitting a big enough enemy completely stops it. It's thankfully manually charged, unlike Pirate's Curse, which was a bit finicky, but it's still eclipsed by the Pirate's Curse dash. And the Drill and Frog just kinda… sucked. They're just too slow and tedious, good lord. That's the best way to describe this game. It's not doing anything innovative, just existing half of the time. And it infuriates me. There needs to be a case study on how Seven Sirens fails at competent modern Metroidvania design. Rather than expressing its level design through your own player character, it remains stagnant by only requiring the bare minimum of you, leaving it as the least engaging of the centrilogy, soon to be hexology. Advance better not have these problems, because this game is severely lacking in the fun factor of the previous games.
But why are we traveling through this big, open world, gaining new abilities and rescuing these half-naked women? Well, look no further than the plot. Shantae and her friends are invited to “Paradise Island” (seriously???), an island filled with sunshine non-stop. It's here where Shantae meets four other Half Genies, as a plot point established in the first game; Plink, the smallest one, Vera, the best one, Zapple, the strong one, Filin, obviously Rottytops, and Harmony, the tallest one, holy shit. All of them get ready for a massive Half-Genie Festival, but on the night of the festival, all of the genies (sparing Shantae) disappear. Determined to find answers, Shantae explores all throughout Paradise Island in search of the Half-Genies. Risky Boots is encountered but denies any foul-play at hand The Half-Genies and even the bosses themselves are pretty one-note for the most part. It's about as video-gamey as plot structure gets. Find Half-Genie, kill Siren, bam, onto the next thing. Oh, but surprise surprise, Risky Boots was behind the entire thing!!! Well, partially at least. Because the Empress Siren made a deal with Risky if Risky kidnapped the 5 Half-Genies. Soooo… yeah. Almost entirely Risky’s fault. But here’s the thing. If Risky wanted to kidnap the genies, how in the HELL did she not take notice to Shantae? Shantae is Risky's arch nemesis; she’s SEEN Shantae do her genie moves in previous games. Why only leave Shantae? Why not kidnap them all? Sure, It’d be overkill, but nobody else would be able to rescue the Half Genes, let alone Rottytops and friends while they’re lazing about. Oh, and the Empress Siren? She just feeds off of the Genies to survive because Harmony’s mother placed a spell on her. Then she practically kills Risky, and then plans to become immortal by taking everyone’s life force. They fight, a shitty boss battle occurs- WAIT.
I’m completely with Yuzrnaime on this, the fights are genuinely TERRIBLE. Not only do they have an UNHEALTHY amount of HP, a majority of them sped long periods of time in invulnerability. IT’S GENUINELY IRRITATING. I’d type out a long ass rant, but I’m writing this at 2AM. Bitch, PLEASE. But once you kill Empress, she dies, Risky comes back, Shantae and friends leave, the end. Sweet dreams.
Seven Sirens is certainly one of the most disappointing games I've ever played through. As a follow up to the two best entries in the series, it really falters. It's a game with 80% hot air in between it's content, succeeding at almost nothing it does in the remaining 20%. I didn't feel terribly angry while playing, just mildly annoyed. Shantae's abilities? Occasionally fun, but mostly annoying. The world map? Generic and mostly annoying. The dungeon designs? Among the worst in the series for simply how annoying they are. The bosses? Padded out and annoying. The music? Bland, and more importantly, annoying. I left Seven Sirens mostly ambivalent to its content, no desire to really play it, but most importantly, annoyed. I feel annoyed at this game's very existence. Not angry. Simply. Annoyed.
Kirby's Block Ball
1995
This is yet another Kirby game I had yet to play prior to this Kirbyathon. I was honestly feeling a 6 most of the time I was playing, and was thinking this is the best Kirby spin-off thus far (after Dream Course). Then the endgame happened.
Let's start with the positives first though. This is basically Kirby breakout and it's generally pretty fun. You break blocks by bouncing Kirby against the paddles, typical breakout basically. The twist here, besides being Kirby themed ofc, is 4 of Kirby's staple copy abilities are in the game and used as power-ups. Stone let's you destroy anything directly below you, burn anything directly above you, needle stops you in place briefly and let's you cling back onto a bumper and aim again and spark bounces you sporadically destroying any block in your path more effectively. This was probably the coolest part of the game. Like Dream Course, the copy abilities are implemented super well into the actual gameplay.
Each level also has a boss at the end, like Pinball Land, but unlike that game I was actually able to beat (almost) all of them this time around. They can be pretty fun but watch out you don't get thrown into the spikes. Luckily in the stage prior to the boss, you can get a sneak-peak at what the boss will be as well as the opportunity to get safety blocks that cover the spikes in the boss stage.
The OST was alright, I saw some reviews saying it was really good but I can't say any of the songs stood out imo.
Now for the endgame, the later stages can be quite annoying with their block placement and the use of 4 bumpers around the screen. The 10th stage, I even decided to save state past that first section cuz it was just so obnoxious. The hit detection on the bumpers can be wonky, which I can't discredit the game too much since it's still a Gameboy game, however it still led to some frustration in the endgame. That plus you can't even play the final level and get the true ending without getting a certain score threshold in each stage. I did this only once in stage 9, and it was by complete accident. I tried to beat the required score a couple of times in stage 1, but I think there's also a secret time requirement (from one of the reviews I read on here) and with how random the game can be with being able to hit blocks in time, yeah no thanks. I know they did this, so it would make you replay the game a bunch, however it's still a bummer.
Overall, it's a decent little game however the true ending being locked to a somewhat frustrating 100% and the endgame levels being kinda frustrating brings it down a bit. It's a fun little time waster, and definitely better than Pinball Land. And yeah, this is yet another game I technically wasn't able to beat due to the 100% requirement. At least I beat every other stage in the game otherwise.
Let's start with the positives first though. This is basically Kirby breakout and it's generally pretty fun. You break blocks by bouncing Kirby against the paddles, typical breakout basically. The twist here, besides being Kirby themed ofc, is 4 of Kirby's staple copy abilities are in the game and used as power-ups. Stone let's you destroy anything directly below you, burn anything directly above you, needle stops you in place briefly and let's you cling back onto a bumper and aim again and spark bounces you sporadically destroying any block in your path more effectively. This was probably the coolest part of the game. Like Dream Course, the copy abilities are implemented super well into the actual gameplay.
Each level also has a boss at the end, like Pinball Land, but unlike that game I was actually able to beat (almost) all of them this time around. They can be pretty fun but watch out you don't get thrown into the spikes. Luckily in the stage prior to the boss, you can get a sneak-peak at what the boss will be as well as the opportunity to get safety blocks that cover the spikes in the boss stage.
The OST was alright, I saw some reviews saying it was really good but I can't say any of the songs stood out imo.
Now for the endgame, the later stages can be quite annoying with their block placement and the use of 4 bumpers around the screen. The 10th stage, I even decided to save state past that first section cuz it was just so obnoxious. The hit detection on the bumpers can be wonky, which I can't discredit the game too much since it's still a Gameboy game, however it still led to some frustration in the endgame. That plus you can't even play the final level and get the true ending without getting a certain score threshold in each stage. I did this only once in stage 9, and it was by complete accident. I tried to beat the required score a couple of times in stage 1, but I think there's also a secret time requirement (from one of the reviews I read on here) and with how random the game can be with being able to hit blocks in time, yeah no thanks. I know they did this, so it would make you replay the game a bunch, however it's still a bummer.
Overall, it's a decent little game however the true ending being locked to a somewhat frustrating 100% and the endgame levels being kinda frustrating brings it down a bit. It's a fun little time waster, and definitely better than Pinball Land. And yeah, this is yet another game I technically wasn't able to beat due to the 100% requirement. At least I beat every other stage in the game otherwise.
Ristar
1995
The term demake gets thrown around kind of a lot nowadays to just mean "remake I don't like" but I always thought of it to mean remaking a game on weaker hardware. In this case, we have Ristar for the Sega Game Gear, which is far weaker than the Sega Genesis.
TBH? It's by far the most impressive deconversion of a game ever made, to the point I much prefer it to the Genesis version. All the levels I disliked such as the water levels are replaced with new more straightforward levels like a cool rainbow level (be sure to play the Japanese version of GG Ristar!) or bomb disposal level. I just enjoy not having to play with the swimming physics again.
The music and graphics are a bit of a downgrade of course, but GG Ristar punches far harder than its weight class would suggest. I could listen to its version of the OST for ages https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZIuBpTd9P8
Also, even the English version retains the story from the Japanese original which was changed in the English Genesis release. Very neat! But I think the coolest technical achievement is how they managed to replicate the ending effects on Game Gear! https://youtu.be/SxdHf1xz0w4?t=2254
It's the same Ristar you know and love, only with all the filler bits removed and replaced with mostly more interesting things imo. The new collectibles are really fun to casually walk through and I appreciate how many extra things there are to grab such as enemy shields and spears. Easy rec for fans of the original.
TBH? It's by far the most impressive deconversion of a game ever made, to the point I much prefer it to the Genesis version. All the levels I disliked such as the water levels are replaced with new more straightforward levels like a cool rainbow level (be sure to play the Japanese version of GG Ristar!) or bomb disposal level. I just enjoy not having to play with the swimming physics again.
The music and graphics are a bit of a downgrade of course, but GG Ristar punches far harder than its weight class would suggest. I could listen to its version of the OST for ages https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iZIuBpTd9P8
Also, even the English version retains the story from the Japanese original which was changed in the English Genesis release. Very neat! But I think the coolest technical achievement is how they managed to replicate the ending effects on Game Gear! https://youtu.be/SxdHf1xz0w4?t=2254
It's the same Ristar you know and love, only with all the filler bits removed and replaced with mostly more interesting things imo. The new collectibles are really fun to casually walk through and I appreciate how many extra things there are to grab such as enemy shields and spears. Easy rec for fans of the original.
Dave the Diver
2022
He might just be the greatest Dave to ever do it. Dave the Diver is a game that succeeds in blending a very fun sea diving adventure with a cool restaurant simulator that, for better or worse, is constantly trying to expand on itself.
The gameplay mainly revolves around diving into the vast sea and gathering materials and ingredients during the day, and then using what you acquired to create dishes for your sushi bar which you operate during the night. This day/night loop hooked me from the very beginning and it stayed that way for a good chunk of my playtime. Exploring the ocean and discovering/catching all the aquatic life was very fun and you're given a lot of tools and upgrades to work with. The restaurant management section of the game starts out very slow but quickly picks up once you start building up your rating and more things are opened up to you. I honestly ended up enjoying it more than the diving section by the time I was done with the main story.
Speaking of the story, I ended up really liking that as well. It's silly, endearing, and pretty well-paced for the most part. I think what really makes it shine though are the characters. The main cast is really cool and each of them have their own little quirks that make them stand out. The way they interact with Dave, whether helping him out in some way or just simple banter, is really nice. I ended up liking a lot of these characters more than I originally assumed I would. Trust me when I tell you Bancho is the coolest character in the game.
The game is also really good-looking. The 2D-pixel art is really appealing to look at and the cutscenes are really over the top in the best way possible, they fit each character perfectly, and I rarely ever skipped them.
Remember when I said this game constantly tries to expand on itself for better or worse? Yeah, that's my main issue with it. This game constantly introduces new mechanics, features, minigames, etc.(especially in the 2nd half) in what I assume is to try to keep the gameplay loop fresh. While some of the things they introduced are nice, how they went about it and the sheer amount of stuff brought in is almost overwhelming. By the end of the game, a lot of it just felt like I was just doing busy work. Getting overloaded with a constant flow of new information...now I know how Jogo felt.
Despite the issues, I really enjoyed my time with Dave the Diver and I do recommend it. Not sure if I would call it a "cozy" game like a lot of other people do tho.
The gameplay mainly revolves around diving into the vast sea and gathering materials and ingredients during the day, and then using what you acquired to create dishes for your sushi bar which you operate during the night. This day/night loop hooked me from the very beginning and it stayed that way for a good chunk of my playtime. Exploring the ocean and discovering/catching all the aquatic life was very fun and you're given a lot of tools and upgrades to work with. The restaurant management section of the game starts out very slow but quickly picks up once you start building up your rating and more things are opened up to you. I honestly ended up enjoying it more than the diving section by the time I was done with the main story.
Speaking of the story, I ended up really liking that as well. It's silly, endearing, and pretty well-paced for the most part. I think what really makes it shine though are the characters. The main cast is really cool and each of them have their own little quirks that make them stand out. The way they interact with Dave, whether helping him out in some way or just simple banter, is really nice. I ended up liking a lot of these characters more than I originally assumed I would. Trust me when I tell you Bancho is the coolest character in the game.
The game is also really good-looking. The 2D-pixel art is really appealing to look at and the cutscenes are really over the top in the best way possible, they fit each character perfectly, and I rarely ever skipped them.
Remember when I said this game constantly tries to expand on itself for better or worse? Yeah, that's my main issue with it. This game constantly introduces new mechanics, features, minigames, etc.(especially in the 2nd half) in what I assume is to try to keep the gameplay loop fresh. While some of the things they introduced are nice, how they went about it and the sheer amount of stuff brought in is almost overwhelming. By the end of the game, a lot of it just felt like I was just doing busy work. Getting overloaded with a constant flow of new information...now I know how Jogo felt.
Despite the issues, I really enjoyed my time with Dave the Diver and I do recommend it. Not sure if I would call it a "cozy" game like a lot of other people do tho.
Astro's Playroom
2020
Hearing that new video game system you’re about to buy comes with a free title designed to show off its special capabilities likely calls to mind some paltry minigame compilation à la Welcome Park on PS Vita. Sony has actually preloaded their latest home console with a full-fledged 3D collect-a-thon platformer of remarkable quality though! It may not end up being as iconic as Wii Sports, but is a very welcome member of the PS5’s library nonetheless.
It feels like a gleeful celebration of the company’s long history. Not in a supercilious, self-aggrandizing way, but in a manner more akin to sitting down with an old friend and reminiscing fond memories. Everywhere you look there’s an Easter egg or deep cut reference that’s been lovingly placed there to bring a smile to the face of any abiding PlayStation devotee while reminding them of the types of experiences they can’t get anywhere else.
As delightful as all of that is though, it’s the gameplay that matters most and if that didn’t hold up then this package would carry no value. Astro’s Playroom manages to succeed due to spacing out the stages meant to make use of the controller’s unique functions with excellent traditional ones that you can explore and grab things in at your leisure. The levels that see you tilting the DualSense and playing around with its touchpad and adaptive triggers admittedly are a tad gimmicky (especially those dang frog suit sections), but remain fun in spite of that by never outstaying their welcome.
Another aspect that really impressed me was the sheer amount of interactivity. In the starting hub area alone, you can smack all of the little Bots to have them tag along behind you and amass a huge horde of followers. What purpose does this serve? None as far as I can tell! It's just a single example of the many neat little features the devs have included that allow you to find extra amusement in engaging with your surroundings. It's something I wish more games would do.
This might also be the perfect length, striking that nice balance between charming demo you spend a little time with before moving on to the games you actually bought the console for and a more fulfilling offering that can keep you coming back for a few additional hours via the healthy amount of collectibles to hunt down. AP won't be on any top ten of the PS5's lifespan lists when all is said and done, yet is a fantastic freebie regardless that there's absolutely no reason for you to not check out if you own the hardware.
9/10
It feels like a gleeful celebration of the company’s long history. Not in a supercilious, self-aggrandizing way, but in a manner more akin to sitting down with an old friend and reminiscing fond memories. Everywhere you look there’s an Easter egg or deep cut reference that’s been lovingly placed there to bring a smile to the face of any abiding PlayStation devotee while reminding them of the types of experiences they can’t get anywhere else.
As delightful as all of that is though, it’s the gameplay that matters most and if that didn’t hold up then this package would carry no value. Astro’s Playroom manages to succeed due to spacing out the stages meant to make use of the controller’s unique functions with excellent traditional ones that you can explore and grab things in at your leisure. The levels that see you tilting the DualSense and playing around with its touchpad and adaptive triggers admittedly are a tad gimmicky (especially those dang frog suit sections), but remain fun in spite of that by never outstaying their welcome.
Another aspect that really impressed me was the sheer amount of interactivity. In the starting hub area alone, you can smack all of the little Bots to have them tag along behind you and amass a huge horde of followers. What purpose does this serve? None as far as I can tell! It's just a single example of the many neat little features the devs have included that allow you to find extra amusement in engaging with your surroundings. It's something I wish more games would do.
This might also be the perfect length, striking that nice balance between charming demo you spend a little time with before moving on to the games you actually bought the console for and a more fulfilling offering that can keep you coming back for a few additional hours via the healthy amount of collectibles to hunt down. AP won't be on any top ten of the PS5's lifespan lists when all is said and done, yet is a fantastic freebie regardless that there's absolutely no reason for you to not check out if you own the hardware.
9/10