100 Reviews liked by Amir
“So come with me now. Let us find our empire together. If you’ll still take me for your empress ?”
this is possibly the worst sentence i have read in this game i was literally bawling my eyes out I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH ITS UNREAL OH GOD
if you had told me that this kind of fire emblem marathon wouldve led me to one of the best games ive ever played in my entire life i wouldve not believed you when i played fire emblem awakening some time ago i realised that this series is actually worth to explore even tho im kinda bad at strategy games and also i get really frustrated at times because i got 0 patience and shit like that (mind you i did play the gba games and those ones are literally hell on earth so theres that) but awakening is such a little gem of a game both in fun gameplay mechanics AND some bomb ass story that ties everything to the first fire emblem game can you imagine
this one ? this ones a miracle
i have absolutely no idea how fire emblem gaiden is i have not played it and i dont PLAN on playing it like ever in the entirety of my life but as a NES game it probably sucks ass IM SORRYYYYY OK IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYY not every NES game sucks theres kirbys adventure and ………… so moving on this is a remake of that game and im 100% sure this is an improvement in every single aspect is somebody comes to me and goes actually fire emblem gaiden had better difficulty level !!!!! im gonna gave some guys skull in tonight
so where THE FUCK do i begin with this great ass game the gameplay is pretty reminiscent of fire emblem awakening and fire emblem as a whole BUT theres a but some stuff may feel pretty different from what youre used to basically since fe2 was still at the beginning of the series they hadnt yet introduced some of the staples of the series like the weapon triangle or healers and pegasus knights sucking ass or like archers being totally useless most of the time like that good stuff ok ? here theres NONE of that the weapon triangle is in fact fucking gone you will only be able to hold a single item and not switch between different weapons and the classes are more streamlined and kinda different from the other games again healers and pegasus knights can pack some punches and archers have a range of jesus christ that being said some expert on the series will probably tell you achtuaolly theres also the EXP intake being shit so you have to promote pretty soon instead of capping at 20 or shit like that I DONT CARE OK IM NOT A PRO so theres that
apart from these different beats here and there this is 99% true to fire emblem as a whole so you can breeze through it without any real issue (if you play casual mode which you should who the fuck plays classic mode the fuck)
while this is probably the core of the game theres some other stuff that they put in this that i absolutely love traversing the overworld is fun as fuck you get some different towns that you can explore every nook and cranny of you can enter dungeons and get into some shin megami tensei 4 style gameplay I FUCKING LOVE DUNGEONS UGHHHHHHHH if years ago i had played this game instead of smt4 now fire emblem would be my fav series instead of smt ok actually that may not be true but a man can dream im a liar i lie i love lemons … actually im allergic to lemons
anyhow every single town has lots of items you can pick NPCs to talk to get some side quests upgrade your weapons get reminded of the fact that youre actually in a war or something the world map is super fun both intricate and yet super straightforward you have battles and towns and dungeons and again dungeons are pretty sick i was not really convinced by the change in gameplay but its incredible how they tied this style of gameplay with the usual srpg I LOVE THIS GAME OH GOD dungeons will have some loot here and there and grinding a bit is always fun idk just do that
i have no idea what the fuck they put in this game like they laced it with cocaine or something because there was not a single moment that i was not having the time of my life every single battle was fun as hell (idk if i enjoyed the gimmick battles that much but at least they gave some nuance to the usual gameplay) and its pretty weird because after some time i was growing tired of the gameplay loop in fire emblem awakening not that its BAD i had so much fucking fun with that game but yknow after 30 hours of srpg youre gonna get crazy i fear (i want to check out genealogy of the holy war mark my words) like i cannot even pinpoint what is in this game that i enjoy that much maybe the fast paced battles or little things like this like i didnt even mind the maps that people always talk about as being bad as hell
whatever theres a lot of stuff in this game im not gonna explain it to you
now the true highlight of this game is the story and characters dont get me started lord
main thing of the game is the gods duma and mila fought because idk thats what gods do i think and after that they divided the land of valentia into 2 parts one part is the kingdom of zofia and the other is the kingdom of rigel now after all this premise yknow what the game is gonna focus on ??? thats rightttttttttttt 2 little kids now i gotta tell you i love the opening act like seeing little alm and little celica sharing their childhood together with the other kids of the village i hope nothing bad ever happens to them BOOM war and shit goodbye so anyway the story has some great story beats and some stuff that actually happens too fucking fast for my liking but first of all the entirety of the game is divided into 2 campaigns one for alm and one for celica with each one having some different party member and OOOOOO im gonna talk about the characters in a moment because what the actual fuck
now its story beats time SPOILER ALERT AND SHIT
i read sometimes here and there about people realising this games story is actually quite ass and shit like that and now they hate the game for it and im sorry to tell you fuck you your mom never loved you anyway you dont know what tenderness is and never will now after that again i wanted to say that the prologue makes such a great job at showing how much alm and celica cared for each other and how much this will have some consequences in the events to come yknow
i love when in a game the have some incredibly huge war conflict but they also focus on the repercussions on a small group of characters final fantasy XII is my fav one in the series so yknow whats up and thats probably why i enjoyed this story as much as i did for reasons celica and alm get separated and not in a single moment do they forget of each other and still when they finally get reunited after years they realise their worldview has changed and in fact are siding with 2 entirely different nations on their behalf and this is UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so fucking good now i do have some weird nitpicks about this kind of premise mainly because the pacing was slightly off like after 1 second of alm being in the deliverance they immediately trusted him and made him their boss ? or like the fact that at one moment celica is crying in alms arms and all of the sudden she goes how the fuck are you so stupid and goes away BUT i can understand that thats also fruit of fire emblem general issue of condensing a lot of story into pretty fast paced chapters here and there so i understand and also the road to get there is absolutely my favorite part of the entire game can you believe how sick it is to go on a regicide quest or a umh pilgrimage right yeah anyway
after that they get divided yada yada shit happens some more hours of simple lore and character recruitments and we get to the final part of the game and celica gets kidnapped like a stupid ass bitch so its YOUR job to rescue her once again and after alm killed his own father (yeah hes the son of rudolf who couldve expected that… i could moving on) youre gonna traverse some hours into a bitchass dungeon and get to mila and see that shes fucking dead and then get falchion and then get reunited to celica and then have a little sex with her and then go ahead and kill a fucking god LORD why do these games always end up like that anyway happy ending everybody goes home and alm and celica canonically have a ton of sex now the day is saved
so as i was saying even tho the story can be pretty simple and weirdly paced this is a trope that i enjoy a bit too fucking much for my wellbeing so of course i ended up loving this game this much but something that really drove the experience home for me were the character now
TW possible horny breakdown youre advised
celica is the sweetest girl ive ever encountered in my entire life i want to cook for her clean the house sing her a lullaby all these things while im naked and in a choker im not joking did you even see her sprite after she becomes the princess im …. yes i do the cooking yes i do the cleaning now alm is a weird question because i feel like i would like him more if he wasnt a twink but id be lying if i said that i dont want a piece of that plus he looks so fucking good with that armor its like idk it gives him a great silhouette for some reason unbeknownst to me why are mens waist so small to be grabbed by other men ???
also i forgot to mention but theres supports in battle and they give a little insight on characters relationships and i LOVE THEM WHAT THE HELL
as for the childhood friends i have a clear love and hate relationship with faye shes super cute but she talked about alm every single time dont you have a personality youre still very cool tho i want you as my gf gray is kinda hot but i didnt really vibe with him that much i do love his upbeat personality tho and tobin sucks and kliff is a fucking twink again now
alms party has a real lack of hunks can i say that clive forsyth and python are all quite interesting but i dont really want to fuck them or like enjoy their personality that much maybe python i would some foreplay hes cute lets put also luthier in the equation because i dont vibe with him either
now everybody shut up i LOVE women clair is fucking brilliant witty absolutely funny as hell and super hot even tho i was tired of everybody falling in love with alm like faye goes alm please watch me watch me alm im here alm please celica is on the other part of the continent thinking about him everyday and clair goes to him and goes so theres this little villager from ram that should creampie me (???) anyway shes incredible i love her + mathilda is the most valkyrie character ive ever seen in fire emblem till now shes fierce shes powerful and she has a 5kg cunt im 100% sure her only caveat is that she fucks clive lmao + delthea is one of my favorite fucking characters in here if you know me you know i fucking love little girls with exuberant and hyperactive personalities and sometimes even a little bit r word but thats just me i love yotsuba yotsuba& love rika higurashi i love ochette octopath traveler 2 so of course i was gonna love this girl that is umineko lambda in fire emblem font
so everybody PLEASE shut up . tatiana and zeke
raise your hand if you cried every time tatiana showed her love for zeke in conversations or supports . only me ? good i love these too so fucking much tatiana is the purest girl in the entire game i love her so dearly and i love her relationship with zeke and how theyre both struggling with zekes loss of memory and the implications this might have for theyre love its absolutely incredible i cannot begin to tell you how much i enjoyed watching these 2 the characters in this game are amazing
and theres silque i guess . shes fine
and also mycen . hes fine would say dilf but im not really that into him to say that i would suck him dry or something plus he reminds me of my weird father complex mycen go away
now celicas party is full of hunks get ready
mae and boey are pretty interesting characters and i definitely enjoy their little interactions and the implications that theyre actually in love with each other of course mae is wife material because ADHD girl yada yada and shes cute and boey is actually pretty cute if you look at him close enough and im gonna bet hes a twunk under those mage robes sorry can i thirst for him in this situation
and genny she exists ig
now saber i want him to rail me to death i want him to spit me in my mouth and call me slurs im absolutely 100% sure of what im saying and hes not even the hottest one of the bunch we are gonna get there rest assured but anyway hes like my type he … hes my type of fictional character thats it like charismatic mysterious vibes hunk body tongue in cheek comments protective of ojousan and shit like that he my man he my boo he can do whatever he wants to me
so you also get some mercenaries valbar is basically gaston of beauty and the beast in fire emblem font and leon is a walking gay stereotype and yet i really enjoyed his backstory and why he fell in love for valbar and … ugh all representation is good representation i guess but whatever the real highlight of this bunch of guys is KAMUI UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THOSE ARM MUSCLES ????? THOSE BYCEPS ??????? cover them up sluts what the actual fuck why are you so hot oh my god so like i would want to say that he should fuck me up but im not sure if hes gentle in bed or like super rough he is the silent type after all………. either way i want him to make me loose
and yeah atlas has muscles i guess … kind of nice to look at but im not a fan of the guy
the trifecta of pegasus girls is also one of my favorite bunch i love them so fucking much they all have distinct personalities and look gorgeous as fuck my favorite one is palla but catria and est are also top notch characters and their designs are GORGEOUS + as much as i understand theyre in shadow dragon too ??? im not so sure i need to check that out too
i hate jesse moving on
sonya get the fuck out theres my husband here deen im umh,.... please look at this picture first ok now that youve seen that i can tell you that when i looked at that picture i had to be hospitalised for days because my dick went hard for 48 hours straight its true thats what happened so . people i love deen hes absolutely fucking hot his design is bomb hes attractive beautiful clean-cut comely lovely pretty beauteous fair impressive pulchritudinous righteous i enjoyed every single frame i had it in front of my 2 eyes and i had to play the entire game with only one hand he has such a great personality he has 2 arms that could crash my skull in half a minute and im not gonna even start to imagine what his legs could do to me or else i would need to stop writing this review i wish i was one of the enemies he cut through honestly i im .. i umh deen im literally single please what the hell i need to look him up on rule34 theres no way in hell i can continue living without looking at his cock sorry umh i meant moving on
im sorry for sonya shes hot but if you ask me between the 2 who i want to be pegged by the answer is pretty clear I-I want your creamy warm cum inside of me I-I want u to choke me and use toys like vibrators~! I want to feel you deep down inside of me I want u to make me scream~ I want u to give me hickeys and bruises all over i-i want u to give it to me hard and dont hold back I wanna be soaked in your cum and my sweat I want u to fuck me for days and hours please daddy’s please! I-I want u t-to use all your s-sex toys on me e-every s-single o-one t-the vibrater t-the sex s-swing t-the whips a-all of t-them~ A-ah shit... Y-your cock is so big and in my ass already~? Mnn... Faster... Harder! Turn me into your dream slut~! Penetrate me until i burst! Mmmm~ Soothe me~ Caress me~ Fuck me~ Breed me~ Probe your thick, wet, throbbing cock deeper and deeper into my p***y Ahhh... Ahhh~ I-Im cumming Im cumming! Cum with me too! Drench me! Ill do the same~ Ill swallow your sticky essence along with you~ Im your personal cumbucket~!! I want you to touch me real good. damn..~ beat me I want you to make me leak and cum inside me I hope you cum all over me..pleasure me real good..~ you make me wet all day..~ eat me all you want...~ D..daddy..~ your going too f..fast..~ H..harder..!~You make me feel wet everyday..~A..ah..!! D..daddy..~ g..go rough..~ A..ahh..!!~ M..mm..~ I..I’m going to leak..!!~ A..ah..!~ G..gentle..~! Ahh..~ j..just a little deeper daddy!~ p..punish me d..daddy..~ I.. I. Feel so wet and j...juicy.~ mhmmmm~ to- to hard.. ahhhh~ m.. more p-please~!
nomah is a literal old man
conrad is tuxedo mask and hes pretty hot without his mask i wish i could see more of his interactions and sibling love and shit with celica but it was pretty bare bones maybe i needed to watch the supports for him anyway hes cool
now lets get to the juice
berkut and rinea
im not the biggest fan of berkut hes kind of a wimp he got on my nerves more than once and he probably fucks like a chicke BUT rinea loves him so dearly this made me cry like a fucking bitch their relationship is incredible and feels so real and thats also sad because i didnt get to see enough of their interactions and also enough of rinea UGHHHHH that girl is so fucking cute i just cant what the hell anyway the final battle with him (them) made me lose all my hair and when berkut sacrificed rinea i think i had an ictus or something i genuinely stopped thinking i was going crazy what the hell and the final scene where they both ascend and the conversation they have and the fact that after berkut went crazy rinea still loves him im sorry what the fuck
anyway i think we are done last but not least
sound department absolutely blew my mind first and foremost because every single dialogue is voice acted ????? EVERY . SINGLE . DIALOGUE i could not believe this like i swear fire emblem awakening had like 10 dialogues i could not believe this game was fully voice acted like what the hell were they thinking the fuck and by the way i played this with the undub of course because i hate english voice acting and the voices are incredible i cannot what the hell
and then ………………….. the ost . guys this games ost is absolutely fucking incredible
now first and foremost i watched the intro like 100 times because of this exact theme i had goosebumps the entire time and like watching the part where celica hugs alm really makes me insanely teary eyed im not joking that shit is insane i love my babies so much im so sorry for everything that happened to you please live happily so anyway apart from that celicas route is the best one apart from the fact that its full of hunks but also for this theme i cannot tell you how much i fucking love this theme its unreal i sometimes just did some battles with celica in order to listen to this TUTUTUTUTUTUT TUT TU TUT UTUTUTUTUTUTU and also this version is pretty interesting i would eat this theme alive if i could these battle themes are incredible and the more you progress the game the better they get like this one?????? lord im sweating this is so fucking good and then youre like omg this cannot be rivaled by alms version haha BOOM this games OST IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOY IT OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD and then when i heard this version of the battle theme my jaw dropped
and then one of my favorite theme that i listened to way before i actually had played this game the final boss theme now you dont understand how many times i actually did listen to this this theme is absolutely fucking insane and going through the final boss with this music and the characters saying their dramatic lives and the overall pacing of the final battle i think it definitely cemented this game as one of my fav games of the series one of the fav games i played this year and possibly one of the fav games i ever played in my life this is absolutely unbelievable
most of the music in the game is incredible though so i advise you to actually play the game or just listen to some of the bomb tracks because its totally worth it
after the ending where you cry theres some more fanservice act 6 super difficult that ties some stuff for fire emblem awakening but thats not really too important to talk about its for the diehards
the story may be flawed the gameplay may not be the best of the best and whatever other complain you might have but its really rare for a game to have such a tight chokehold on me that i play it every single day without getting distracted by some other game and for what its worth maybe after playing some other fire emblem game i will deem the series as mid but i cannot stress enough this game is incredible and even if you dont like it this game means a lot to me and I don't fucking care
also mila is hot as hell do I want a piece of an immortal dragon deity damn they did her super dirty shes one of the hottest character in the game and they decided to just skewer her with falchion what the actual fuck ???? mila I can treat you better please also theres a kind of dark duma portrait at the end please show us the hottie
also forgot to say the character portraits by hidari are fucking INSANE THEY ALL LOOK HOT AS HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL HES SO FUCKING GOOD I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS
the title screen is absolutely perfect watching baby alm and baby celica running through the flower field is out of this world and when you finish the game theyre grown up and walking hand in hand ??? i cannot with this game istg
this extra track for something about marth is insane tho should i play fe1 and fe3 remake yeah theres some dlc stuff but its not really important and the characters you can recruit are actually pretty ugly BUT THEY PUT ID HOPE THIS TRACK GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD and also they put a theme for ike??? damn i need to play these other fire emblem games lord
im probably gonna play fates next in this marathon am i gonna regret this ? maybe but the characters are all hot i cant way to wet my pants
this is possibly the worst sentence i have read in this game i was literally bawling my eyes out I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUUUUUUUUUUUUUCH ITS UNREAL OH GOD
if you had told me that this kind of fire emblem marathon wouldve led me to one of the best games ive ever played in my entire life i wouldve not believed you when i played fire emblem awakening some time ago i realised that this series is actually worth to explore even tho im kinda bad at strategy games and also i get really frustrated at times because i got 0 patience and shit like that (mind you i did play the gba games and those ones are literally hell on earth so theres that) but awakening is such a little gem of a game both in fun gameplay mechanics AND some bomb ass story that ties everything to the first fire emblem game can you imagine
this one ? this ones a miracle
i have absolutely no idea how fire emblem gaiden is i have not played it and i dont PLAN on playing it like ever in the entirety of my life but as a NES game it probably sucks ass IM SORRYYYYY OK IM SORRYYYYYYYYYYY not every NES game sucks theres kirbys adventure and ………… so moving on this is a remake of that game and im 100% sure this is an improvement in every single aspect is somebody comes to me and goes actually fire emblem gaiden had better difficulty level !!!!! im gonna gave some guys skull in tonight
so where THE FUCK do i begin with this great ass game the gameplay is pretty reminiscent of fire emblem awakening and fire emblem as a whole BUT theres a but some stuff may feel pretty different from what youre used to basically since fe2 was still at the beginning of the series they hadnt yet introduced some of the staples of the series like the weapon triangle or healers and pegasus knights sucking ass or like archers being totally useless most of the time like that good stuff ok ? here theres NONE of that the weapon triangle is in fact fucking gone you will only be able to hold a single item and not switch between different weapons and the classes are more streamlined and kinda different from the other games again healers and pegasus knights can pack some punches and archers have a range of jesus christ that being said some expert on the series will probably tell you achtuaolly theres also the EXP intake being shit so you have to promote pretty soon instead of capping at 20 or shit like that I DONT CARE OK IM NOT A PRO so theres that
apart from these different beats here and there this is 99% true to fire emblem as a whole so you can breeze through it without any real issue (if you play casual mode which you should who the fuck plays classic mode the fuck)
while this is probably the core of the game theres some other stuff that they put in this that i absolutely love traversing the overworld is fun as fuck you get some different towns that you can explore every nook and cranny of you can enter dungeons and get into some shin megami tensei 4 style gameplay I FUCKING LOVE DUNGEONS UGHHHHHHHH if years ago i had played this game instead of smt4 now fire emblem would be my fav series instead of smt ok actually that may not be true but a man can dream im a liar i lie i love lemons … actually im allergic to lemons
anyhow every single town has lots of items you can pick NPCs to talk to get some side quests upgrade your weapons get reminded of the fact that youre actually in a war or something the world map is super fun both intricate and yet super straightforward you have battles and towns and dungeons and again dungeons are pretty sick i was not really convinced by the change in gameplay but its incredible how they tied this style of gameplay with the usual srpg I LOVE THIS GAME OH GOD dungeons will have some loot here and there and grinding a bit is always fun idk just do that
i have no idea what the fuck they put in this game like they laced it with cocaine or something because there was not a single moment that i was not having the time of my life every single battle was fun as hell (idk if i enjoyed the gimmick battles that much but at least they gave some nuance to the usual gameplay) and its pretty weird because after some time i was growing tired of the gameplay loop in fire emblem awakening not that its BAD i had so much fucking fun with that game but yknow after 30 hours of srpg youre gonna get crazy i fear (i want to check out genealogy of the holy war mark my words) like i cannot even pinpoint what is in this game that i enjoy that much maybe the fast paced battles or little things like this like i didnt even mind the maps that people always talk about as being bad as hell
whatever theres a lot of stuff in this game im not gonna explain it to you
now the true highlight of this game is the story and characters dont get me started lord
main thing of the game is the gods duma and mila fought because idk thats what gods do i think and after that they divided the land of valentia into 2 parts one part is the kingdom of zofia and the other is the kingdom of rigel now after all this premise yknow what the game is gonna focus on ??? thats rightttttttttttt 2 little kids now i gotta tell you i love the opening act like seeing little alm and little celica sharing their childhood together with the other kids of the village i hope nothing bad ever happens to them BOOM war and shit goodbye so anyway the story has some great story beats and some stuff that actually happens too fucking fast for my liking but first of all the entirety of the game is divided into 2 campaigns one for alm and one for celica with each one having some different party member and OOOOOO im gonna talk about the characters in a moment because what the actual fuck
now its story beats time SPOILER ALERT AND SHIT
i read sometimes here and there about people realising this games story is actually quite ass and shit like that and now they hate the game for it and im sorry to tell you fuck you your mom never loved you anyway you dont know what tenderness is and never will now after that again i wanted to say that the prologue makes such a great job at showing how much alm and celica cared for each other and how much this will have some consequences in the events to come yknow
i love when in a game the have some incredibly huge war conflict but they also focus on the repercussions on a small group of characters final fantasy XII is my fav one in the series so yknow whats up and thats probably why i enjoyed this story as much as i did for reasons celica and alm get separated and not in a single moment do they forget of each other and still when they finally get reunited after years they realise their worldview has changed and in fact are siding with 2 entirely different nations on their behalf and this is UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH so fucking good now i do have some weird nitpicks about this kind of premise mainly because the pacing was slightly off like after 1 second of alm being in the deliverance they immediately trusted him and made him their boss ? or like the fact that at one moment celica is crying in alms arms and all of the sudden she goes how the fuck are you so stupid and goes away BUT i can understand that thats also fruit of fire emblem general issue of condensing a lot of story into pretty fast paced chapters here and there so i understand and also the road to get there is absolutely my favorite part of the entire game can you believe how sick it is to go on a regicide quest or a umh pilgrimage right yeah anyway
after that they get divided yada yada shit happens some more hours of simple lore and character recruitments and we get to the final part of the game and celica gets kidnapped like a stupid ass bitch so its YOUR job to rescue her once again and after alm killed his own father (yeah hes the son of rudolf who couldve expected that… i could moving on) youre gonna traverse some hours into a bitchass dungeon and get to mila and see that shes fucking dead and then get falchion and then get reunited to celica and then have a little sex with her and then go ahead and kill a fucking god LORD why do these games always end up like that anyway happy ending everybody goes home and alm and celica canonically have a ton of sex now the day is saved
so as i was saying even tho the story can be pretty simple and weirdly paced this is a trope that i enjoy a bit too fucking much for my wellbeing so of course i ended up loving this game this much but something that really drove the experience home for me were the character now
TW possible horny breakdown youre advised
celica is the sweetest girl ive ever encountered in my entire life i want to cook for her clean the house sing her a lullaby all these things while im naked and in a choker im not joking did you even see her sprite after she becomes the princess im …. yes i do the cooking yes i do the cleaning now alm is a weird question because i feel like i would like him more if he wasnt a twink but id be lying if i said that i dont want a piece of that plus he looks so fucking good with that armor its like idk it gives him a great silhouette for some reason unbeknownst to me why are mens waist so small to be grabbed by other men ???
also i forgot to mention but theres supports in battle and they give a little insight on characters relationships and i LOVE THEM WHAT THE HELL
as for the childhood friends i have a clear love and hate relationship with faye shes super cute but she talked about alm every single time dont you have a personality youre still very cool tho i want you as my gf gray is kinda hot but i didnt really vibe with him that much i do love his upbeat personality tho and tobin sucks and kliff is a fucking twink again now
alms party has a real lack of hunks can i say that clive forsyth and python are all quite interesting but i dont really want to fuck them or like enjoy their personality that much maybe python i would some foreplay hes cute lets put also luthier in the equation because i dont vibe with him either
now everybody shut up i LOVE women clair is fucking brilliant witty absolutely funny as hell and super hot even tho i was tired of everybody falling in love with alm like faye goes alm please watch me watch me alm im here alm please celica is on the other part of the continent thinking about him everyday and clair goes to him and goes so theres this little villager from ram that should creampie me (???) anyway shes incredible i love her + mathilda is the most valkyrie character ive ever seen in fire emblem till now shes fierce shes powerful and she has a 5kg cunt im 100% sure her only caveat is that she fucks clive lmao + delthea is one of my favorite fucking characters in here if you know me you know i fucking love little girls with exuberant and hyperactive personalities and sometimes even a little bit r word but thats just me i love yotsuba yotsuba& love rika higurashi i love ochette octopath traveler 2 so of course i was gonna love this girl that is umineko lambda in fire emblem font
so everybody PLEASE shut up . tatiana and zeke
raise your hand if you cried every time tatiana showed her love for zeke in conversations or supports . only me ? good i love these too so fucking much tatiana is the purest girl in the entire game i love her so dearly and i love her relationship with zeke and how theyre both struggling with zekes loss of memory and the implications this might have for theyre love its absolutely incredible i cannot begin to tell you how much i enjoyed watching these 2 the characters in this game are amazing
and theres silque i guess . shes fine
and also mycen . hes fine would say dilf but im not really that into him to say that i would suck him dry or something plus he reminds me of my weird father complex mycen go away
now celicas party is full of hunks get ready
mae and boey are pretty interesting characters and i definitely enjoy their little interactions and the implications that theyre actually in love with each other of course mae is wife material because ADHD girl yada yada and shes cute and boey is actually pretty cute if you look at him close enough and im gonna bet hes a twunk under those mage robes sorry can i thirst for him in this situation
and genny she exists ig
now saber i want him to rail me to death i want him to spit me in my mouth and call me slurs im absolutely 100% sure of what im saying and hes not even the hottest one of the bunch we are gonna get there rest assured but anyway hes like my type he … hes my type of fictional character thats it like charismatic mysterious vibes hunk body tongue in cheek comments protective of ojousan and shit like that he my man he my boo he can do whatever he wants to me
so you also get some mercenaries valbar is basically gaston of beauty and the beast in fire emblem font and leon is a walking gay stereotype and yet i really enjoyed his backstory and why he fell in love for valbar and … ugh all representation is good representation i guess but whatever the real highlight of this bunch of guys is KAMUI UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THOSE ARM MUSCLES ????? THOSE BYCEPS ??????? cover them up sluts what the actual fuck why are you so hot oh my god so like i would want to say that he should fuck me up but im not sure if hes gentle in bed or like super rough he is the silent type after all………. either way i want him to make me loose
and yeah atlas has muscles i guess … kind of nice to look at but im not a fan of the guy
the trifecta of pegasus girls is also one of my favorite bunch i love them so fucking much they all have distinct personalities and look gorgeous as fuck my favorite one is palla but catria and est are also top notch characters and their designs are GORGEOUS + as much as i understand theyre in shadow dragon too ??? im not so sure i need to check that out too
i hate jesse moving on
sonya get the fuck out theres my husband here deen im umh,.... please look at this picture first ok now that youve seen that i can tell you that when i looked at that picture i had to be hospitalised for days because my dick went hard for 48 hours straight its true thats what happened so . people i love deen hes absolutely fucking hot his design is bomb hes attractive beautiful clean-cut comely lovely pretty beauteous fair impressive pulchritudinous righteous i enjoyed every single frame i had it in front of my 2 eyes and i had to play the entire game with only one hand he has such a great personality he has 2 arms that could crash my skull in half a minute and im not gonna even start to imagine what his legs could do to me or else i would need to stop writing this review i wish i was one of the enemies he cut through honestly i im .. i umh deen im literally single please what the hell i need to look him up on rule34 theres no way in hell i can continue living without looking at his cock sorry umh i meant moving on
im sorry for sonya shes hot but if you ask me between the 2 who i want to be pegged by the answer is pretty clear I-I want your creamy warm cum inside of me I-I want u to choke me and use toys like vibrators~! I want to feel you deep down inside of me I want u to make me scream~ I want u to give me hickeys and bruises all over i-i want u to give it to me hard and dont hold back I wanna be soaked in your cum and my sweat I want u to fuck me for days and hours please daddy’s please! I-I want u t-to use all your s-sex toys on me e-every s-single o-one t-the vibrater t-the sex s-swing t-the whips a-all of t-them~ A-ah shit... Y-your cock is so big and in my ass already~? Mnn... Faster... Harder! Turn me into your dream slut~! Penetrate me until i burst! Mmmm~ Soothe me~ Caress me~ Fuck me~ Breed me~ Probe your thick, wet, throbbing cock deeper and deeper into my p***y Ahhh... Ahhh~ I-Im cumming Im cumming! Cum with me too! Drench me! Ill do the same~ Ill swallow your sticky essence along with you~ Im your personal cumbucket~!! I want you to touch me real good. damn..~ beat me I want you to make me leak and cum inside me I hope you cum all over me..pleasure me real good..~ you make me wet all day..~ eat me all you want...~ D..daddy..~ your going too f..fast..~ H..harder..!~You make me feel wet everyday..~A..ah..!! D..daddy..~ g..go rough..~ A..ahh..!!~ M..mm..~ I..I’m going to leak..!!~ A..ah..!~ G..gentle..~! Ahh..~ j..just a little deeper daddy!~ p..punish me d..daddy..~ I.. I. Feel so wet and j...juicy.~ mhmmmm~ to- to hard.. ahhhh~ m.. more p-please~!
nomah is a literal old man
conrad is tuxedo mask and hes pretty hot without his mask i wish i could see more of his interactions and sibling love and shit with celica but it was pretty bare bones maybe i needed to watch the supports for him anyway hes cool
now lets get to the juice
berkut and rinea
im not the biggest fan of berkut hes kind of a wimp he got on my nerves more than once and he probably fucks like a chicke BUT rinea loves him so dearly this made me cry like a fucking bitch their relationship is incredible and feels so real and thats also sad because i didnt get to see enough of their interactions and also enough of rinea UGHHHHH that girl is so fucking cute i just cant what the hell anyway the final battle with him (them) made me lose all my hair and when berkut sacrificed rinea i think i had an ictus or something i genuinely stopped thinking i was going crazy what the hell and the final scene where they both ascend and the conversation they have and the fact that after berkut went crazy rinea still loves him im sorry what the fuck
anyway i think we are done last but not least
sound department absolutely blew my mind first and foremost because every single dialogue is voice acted ????? EVERY . SINGLE . DIALOGUE i could not believe this like i swear fire emblem awakening had like 10 dialogues i could not believe this game was fully voice acted like what the hell were they thinking the fuck and by the way i played this with the undub of course because i hate english voice acting and the voices are incredible i cannot what the hell
and then ………………….. the ost . guys this games ost is absolutely fucking incredible
now first and foremost i watched the intro like 100 times because of this exact theme i had goosebumps the entire time and like watching the part where celica hugs alm really makes me insanely teary eyed im not joking that shit is insane i love my babies so much im so sorry for everything that happened to you please live happily so anyway apart from that celicas route is the best one apart from the fact that its full of hunks but also for this theme i cannot tell you how much i fucking love this theme its unreal i sometimes just did some battles with celica in order to listen to this TUTUTUTUTUTUT TUT TU TUT UTUTUTUTUTUTU and also this version is pretty interesting i would eat this theme alive if i could these battle themes are incredible and the more you progress the game the better they get like this one?????? lord im sweating this is so fucking good and then youre like omg this cannot be rivaled by alms version haha BOOM this games OST IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I ENJOY IT OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD and then when i heard this version of the battle theme my jaw dropped
and then one of my favorite theme that i listened to way before i actually had played this game the final boss theme now you dont understand how many times i actually did listen to this this theme is absolutely fucking insane and going through the final boss with this music and the characters saying their dramatic lives and the overall pacing of the final battle i think it definitely cemented this game as one of my fav games of the series one of the fav games i played this year and possibly one of the fav games i ever played in my life this is absolutely unbelievable
most of the music in the game is incredible though so i advise you to actually play the game or just listen to some of the bomb tracks because its totally worth it
after the ending where you cry theres some more fanservice act 6 super difficult that ties some stuff for fire emblem awakening but thats not really too important to talk about its for the diehards
the story may be flawed the gameplay may not be the best of the best and whatever other complain you might have but its really rare for a game to have such a tight chokehold on me that i play it every single day without getting distracted by some other game and for what its worth maybe after playing some other fire emblem game i will deem the series as mid but i cannot stress enough this game is incredible and even if you dont like it this game means a lot to me and I don't fucking care
also mila is hot as hell do I want a piece of an immortal dragon deity damn they did her super dirty shes one of the hottest character in the game and they decided to just skewer her with falchion what the actual fuck ???? mila I can treat you better please also theres a kind of dark duma portrait at the end please show us the hottie
also forgot to say the character portraits by hidari are fucking INSANE THEY ALL LOOK HOT AS HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL HES SO FUCKING GOOD I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS
the title screen is absolutely perfect watching baby alm and baby celica running through the flower field is out of this world and when you finish the game theyre grown up and walking hand in hand ??? i cannot with this game istg
this extra track for something about marth is insane tho should i play fe1 and fe3 remake yeah theres some dlc stuff but its not really important and the characters you can recruit are actually pretty ugly BUT THEY PUT ID HOPE THIS TRACK GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD and also they put a theme for ike??? damn i need to play these other fire emblem games lord
im probably gonna play fates next in this marathon am i gonna regret this ? maybe but the characters are all hot i cant way to wet my pants
Lobotomy Corporation
2018
This review contains spoilers
We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey
Some of the best gameplay/narrative cohesion I've seen in a game. Lobotomy Corporation is a game all about managing a series of ever increasing worst case scenarios that culminates in an absolutely brutal final stretch that left me hobbling towards the finish line with only a third of the employees I'd spent so many hours training.
Unfairness and brutality are a core facet of this game. The only way to understand many of the horrible monstrosities you're tasked with managing is by throwing your employees at them and letting their deaths help you to formulate your strategy. Abnormalities have conditions that are generally easy to manage in isolation, but where the game gets truly sadistic is in managing multiple abnormalities with overlapping and often contradicting rules. One requiring a number of sacrifices per meltdown while another will wreak havoc after enough employees have died. One abnormality may require you to never have your camera on it while it's being worked on, whereas another may require you to keep your camera on it the whole time. Juggling all these different challenges will truly put a test to your ability to micromanage, and just when you think you've got it all under control, you'll remember you haven't checked Express Train to Hell in a couple minutes and a ghost train will rip through your facility and kill half your team.
The olive branch extended to you is the rewind feature, allowing you to rewind back to a previous day or even the beginning of the game while retaining your abnormality information and equipment, as well as your mission progress (that last one I was ignorant to until about 35 days into my first cycle, having failed to complete a single core suppression). I had to do two full resets before reaching the true ending, and while losing my employees was a harsh blow, the gains were too big to ignore. Cleverly, the game even ties this rewind mechanic directly to the story, recontextualizing what I initially thought to be a fail state into an expected aspect of my journey.
The best aspect, however, was the core suppressions; which put to the test nearly every skill you learn in your playthrough in interesting ways while often providing some great insight into your colorful cast of coworkers. My favorite of all has to be Hokma's suppression, the mechanics behind it and how they relate to his personal mindset and feelings was a particular highlight for me. When I tried to speed up time during this event and was met with a message telling me that we "mustn't let time pass recklessly", it hit me way harder than expected.
And can we talk about the music? The core suppression music is always a perfect representation of its boss' mindset, but the standout tracks were the trumpet/warning themes. Trumpet 1 is accompanied by a tense track that wordlessly tells the player "Hey, some shit is starting to go down". When things start to really go bad the Trumpet 2 theme kicks in, a fast paced, energetic song backed by a whining alarm telling you that your situation is spiraling out of control. Finally, when you inevitably fail to control the situation, the third trumpet theme plays; a somber track with sorrowful vocals effectively communicating that your situation is almost certainly incapable of being salvaged. The first time I had this series of tracks play in full for me might just be my favorite moment of the game, perfectly lined up with my own initial panic, determination, and despair as I went to restart a particularly disastrous day.
Overall this game features an incredible cohesion between all of its aspects, nearly every gameplay element justified in it's story and fitting well with the plot and themes. I jumped right into Library of Ruina upon finishing Lob Corp and while I am loving it's turned based card system, I can't shake the feeling that it's numerous systems won't achieve that same wonderful harmony this game has.
One of my new favorites for sure, just make sure you download those stacking healthbars and super speed mods to save yourself some headaches. Even making liberal use of the super speed mod, my true ending playthrough clocked me in at around 140 hours, a number I imagine would be a lot higher if I stuck with the vanilla game's max speed. There's a fair bit of jank to this game, and all my major flaws were easily fixed by mods that I didn't feel impacted the cut-throat difficulty.
Some of the best gameplay/narrative cohesion I've seen in a game. Lobotomy Corporation is a game all about managing a series of ever increasing worst case scenarios that culminates in an absolutely brutal final stretch that left me hobbling towards the finish line with only a third of the employees I'd spent so many hours training.
Unfairness and brutality are a core facet of this game. The only way to understand many of the horrible monstrosities you're tasked with managing is by throwing your employees at them and letting their deaths help you to formulate your strategy. Abnormalities have conditions that are generally easy to manage in isolation, but where the game gets truly sadistic is in managing multiple abnormalities with overlapping and often contradicting rules. One requiring a number of sacrifices per meltdown while another will wreak havoc after enough employees have died. One abnormality may require you to never have your camera on it while it's being worked on, whereas another may require you to keep your camera on it the whole time. Juggling all these different challenges will truly put a test to your ability to micromanage, and just when you think you've got it all under control, you'll remember you haven't checked Express Train to Hell in a couple minutes and a ghost train will rip through your facility and kill half your team.
The olive branch extended to you is the rewind feature, allowing you to rewind back to a previous day or even the beginning of the game while retaining your abnormality information and equipment, as well as your mission progress (that last one I was ignorant to until about 35 days into my first cycle, having failed to complete a single core suppression). I had to do two full resets before reaching the true ending, and while losing my employees was a harsh blow, the gains were too big to ignore. Cleverly, the game even ties this rewind mechanic directly to the story, recontextualizing what I initially thought to be a fail state into an expected aspect of my journey.
The best aspect, however, was the core suppressions; which put to the test nearly every skill you learn in your playthrough in interesting ways while often providing some great insight into your colorful cast of coworkers. My favorite of all has to be Hokma's suppression, the mechanics behind it and how they relate to his personal mindset and feelings was a particular highlight for me. When I tried to speed up time during this event and was met with a message telling me that we "mustn't let time pass recklessly", it hit me way harder than expected.
And can we talk about the music? The core suppression music is always a perfect representation of its boss' mindset, but the standout tracks were the trumpet/warning themes. Trumpet 1 is accompanied by a tense track that wordlessly tells the player "Hey, some shit is starting to go down". When things start to really go bad the Trumpet 2 theme kicks in, a fast paced, energetic song backed by a whining alarm telling you that your situation is spiraling out of control. Finally, when you inevitably fail to control the situation, the third trumpet theme plays; a somber track with sorrowful vocals effectively communicating that your situation is almost certainly incapable of being salvaged. The first time I had this series of tracks play in full for me might just be my favorite moment of the game, perfectly lined up with my own initial panic, determination, and despair as I went to restart a particularly disastrous day.
Overall this game features an incredible cohesion between all of its aspects, nearly every gameplay element justified in it's story and fitting well with the plot and themes. I jumped right into Library of Ruina upon finishing Lob Corp and while I am loving it's turned based card system, I can't shake the feeling that it's numerous systems won't achieve that same wonderful harmony this game has.
One of my new favorites for sure, just make sure you download those stacking healthbars and super speed mods to save yourself some headaches. Even making liberal use of the super speed mod, my true ending playthrough clocked me in at around 140 hours, a number I imagine would be a lot higher if I stuck with the vanilla game's max speed. There's a fair bit of jank to this game, and all my major flaws were easily fixed by mods that I didn't feel impacted the cut-throat difficulty.
Assassin's Creed
2007
This review contains spoilers
(credits for researching goes to my friend Fahrenheit)
It's impressive how the of use semi open world areas - to familiarize yourself with environment on your own volition with side gigs and piling up connections instead of doing 'side quests' just to make use of it all in the main story was degenerated into the 'ubisoft open world'
The gameplay and the story are also so well synchronized (pun intended) that even the 'shortcomings' that you can experience as a result of its jank still have opposite effects and further immerse you in the game better and you could keep finding secrets on how to take advantage of its mechanics.
The game creates immersion in very simple yet organic ways, such as there not being any shops, so whenever you run out of knives, you could just ANYTIME ANYWHERE could just go on a detour and steal them from the population. Every mechanic is in such a harmony that you can't stop taking its aspects for granted, but I just kept thinking 'why are such obvious details lacking in other video games?.’
Heavy emphasis is placed on investigations to bear its fruition in the face of immersion. You can of course start investigations on each mission, gather intel and plan out how you gonna enter the area and how you gonna escape it by your own rules and then start the mission confidently, but you can also attempt to start the mission without any investigations, that will give you distinct dialogue and guide as to where could you find hints for your mission, making AC1 a game that can be perfectly played without using any kind of a map or even HUD.
The story is a bit too reddit for my taste with how it's concerned moreso about ‘dispelling the illusion’ and ideals a lot more than everyman, cultivating a bit of arrogant disbalance since I do not think fate of the population should be a matter of one on one ‘discussions’ and duels, especially in-between figures who do not have the same concerns and lives as the general population. But I appreciate that the mental states of said figures are some sort of a plea from the inner turmoil caused by the war-torn era and its never-ending disconnection.
What I could not recollect before replaying is how well structured and planned out its narrative and character work is nonetheless - maybe one of the better examples in the medium, even.
People may have been praising architecture and how districts are laid out in games like The Witcher 3 but Assassin's Creed did it before by exploring its culturally diverse and historically rich locations, actually making use of it all in regards to mechanical depth (say, building being in the middle of reconstruction have their own (dis)advantages for parkour, integral part of the gameplay).
Cities Altair visits are Damascus, Acre and of course Jerusalem. It is also worth noting that the theme songs of these cities correspond to the standing of each of these cities and thus reflect the general emotional state of the environment (as well as making use of different techniques and instruments according to their cultural difference), especially how the theme of Jerusalem is a combination of the previous one to reflect its cultural whiplash and transitory state.
Life is represented by Damascus - given its reliance on economics that distracts them from ever questioning higher matters and any of their propaganda, rather than on its own historical or religious value (to the Crusaders) that which is the very reason as to why they have not been conquered. Making it the very first city Altair visits at this most arrogance.
Death is represented by Acre - given its environmental decay and high body count on full display as it has been invaded in contrast to Damascus. Furthermore much of the Arabian and Muslim culture of the land has been eradicated with all the mosques demolished (that is single damaged one remaining that does not serve as the viewpoint anymore) to make way for churches and architectural design of buildings adopting masonry and terracotta rooftops in the richer districts. Terracotta rooftops are used to remove snowfall and since obviously there is no practical utility in building them in Syria, contradiction stands to send a message that culture is dominated by the Crusaders.
Rebirth is represented by Jerusalem - given how the city managed to revitalize itself after suffering the same fate as Acre and finally managed to move on by putting corpses in their graveyards. That said, cultural remains stuck in-between as the Crusaders influence is still intact.
The game starts by the main character committing a ‘sin’ that is used to put him on the leash and then every single encounter, in the face of an assassination mission he partakes in, seem to be (in)directly correlated to the perspective he currently possess and makes him question and finally alter his mindset by gaining faith instead of being blinded by duty and arrogance, finally reaching forgiveness from someone he wronged at the very start of the game.
Malik’s words are coherent with the themes of rebirth. He states that he doesn’t forgive Altaïr as he’s no longer the man he once knew and therefore has nothing for him to forgive - going to the point of even having enough faith in Altair to question the creed. You can see relationships like this with the other bureau leaders too (and even targets), like the Rafik in Damascus is often too arrogant and cocky and likes to mock Altaïr until he feels Altaïr has outgrown him and feels a bit jealous, the Acre Bureau Leader starts of pessimistic and places no hope in Altaïr until he sees the error in his ways and even apologizes to him
Of course assassination targets are also making maximum use of their minimal screen time to have their presence heard effectively so as for them to not break the flow of the game. My personal favourite being the one that highlights how religion dislikes his kind and only by observing his body language amidst his speech you can see the hint that the cause of this is his homosexuality on top of other personal and political nuances that makes him hate himself and the world alike, forcing him into an active role against the status quo.
Needless to say, the addition of each and every target is nuanced and further thickens the plot.
Game also starts by making use of historical context and weaponizing reputation of the fanatical religious suicidal tendencies into a strategy to defend against the siege.
And if you were to start researching history you would notice that even something as simple as the tutorial section has the assassin's indoctrination as its subtext. To put out an example, in the intro sequence of the game the animus is glitching and Altaïr is surrounded by women in a garden and there's a godlike figure in the back quoting The Book of Ecclesiastes. Symbolic of a myth surrounding the Nizari Isma’illis (aka The Assassins).
Basically a myth spread by their western foes arose where it was hypothesized that the reason why the Assassins were so fearless of death was due to their initiates being put through a process where they would be abducted by their superiors, drugged with Hashish and then taken to a garden filled with pleasures of the world such as beautiful women and exotic fruits. Here they would be granted a taste of paradise and after it would be taken away from the area, they would then be promised a return to the garden as their reward for obeying the leaders of the Nizari Isma’illis to perform their Assassinations.
This is however a myth mind you, as it was only spread by the Western foes of the Assassins and it’s also due to this that u hear the common misinformation of the word Assassin originating from the word Hashashin (meaning those who smoke Hashish) when in reality it originates from the Arabic word Assassiyun (meaning People of Principle). The game incorporates this myth ingeniously as it being the first scene of the game is not only symbolic of the game indoctrinating you as an Assassin just like the initiates were in the myth but the game also acknowledges it as something false and later on goes to dispel this myth and reveal the truth (facilitating the game’s themes of the pursuit of truth and knowledge and is why The Book of Ecclesiastes is so relevant).
Later on Al Mualim even reveals that he allows their opposition to believe this myth as it enables the Assassins to spread their fear and terror to their opponents. Furthermore the final scene of the game mirrors this first scene where Altaïr is in The Garden with Al Mualim quoting The Book of Ecclesiastes only this time we’re given context and see the memory for what it truly was (and have thus been enlightened) The utility of the animus to glitch and combine a bunch of memories to create a corrupted one to later then be dispelled after you finish the journey is ingenious as it not only enabled the team to utilize the historical & mythological context to the fullest but also to simultaneously pursue the themes of the game by dispelling the illusions presented to you
It also subtly hints to how despite their symbolic castration (at least they cut their fingers), assassins still receive earthly delights as rewards (say, prostitution), which makes them more understandable albeit hypocritical.
Assassin’s Creed is a game about what it takes to find true peace. It explores how in order to end war and vanquish the chaos poisoning the world one must first bring tranquility within themselves for it is what belongs within the heart of man that he manifests upon the world. However it also acknowledges that to authoritatively brute control into society is a solution no better than war and that one’s inner rebellion can also act as the harbinger of liberty.
Assassin’s Creed therefore provides the answer that In order to find peace in all things one must first recognize the nature of the world, that Nothing Is True and Everything Is Permitted, thus guiding us to adapt to it. Additionally it also suggests that peace is not something definite in nature to attain as if one attempts to grasp at it, it will fade into thin air like mist. It is therefore wiser to follow its trail bearing the hope in our hearts that we may one day find it
Might also be worth mentioning that the game has a stylistic philosophy of treating its events like an entire dream sequence to facilitate its themes on the power of the human mind. It also fortifies the narrative of Desmond using the animus to venture deep into his mind to discover the truth of his ancestor’s journey through enlightenment. It’s also why the animus loading screens have Altaïr traveling through a blue and white mist as it mimics the sky and clouds to reinforce that dream like state
Unfortunately the game is a bit too ambitious for its own good and thus has visible cracks as a result of being an unfinished product. Notable being traversal area that is Kingdom, which is kind of a meme outside of you seeing the environmental destruction amidst the war (this section was meant to have horse chasers and whatnot) and how entire game goes to complete shit in the endgame by turning 'assassin' simulator into 'deflect another wave', even against the final boss that completely controls Altair's movements but somehow Altair keeps moving around whenever game demands it (this section could have been changed entirely), yet still manages to maintain its narrative on thematic level at the very least and packs the story under all-new concept of (dis)illusionment, making it inherent part of human nature.
Oh yeah side gigs are also lacking in creativity in self-contained sense with how you keep repeating the same thing over and over again and for some reason initial impression and feedback of the game was that it was being too hard, so as a result the game was made a bit too easy - though I guess you could always download 'permanent rank 1' mod to compensate to a certain degree. That said, nobody really gets in your way to make the game more challenging and interesting on your own. I also have personal distaste to how you are keeping a count of how many ‘altruist’ deeds you have remained in the city, but I guess it is also up to the interpretation of the player since it can be done completely on your own volition no matter what kind of perspective Altair has in any point of the game - so it is always blurred whether it is an altruistic or calculated deed to use civilians as his pawns and even traps placed against assassination targets
Nitpicky complain I have in the process of assassination department is that even if replayability in the assassination missions are superb, it's a bit of a chore to actually restart missions - you still gonna have to get through the unskippable dialogue, replay 2-3 side gigs and some of them won't even have fast-travel available, but that's not something impossible to ignore so long as you are willing to put the effort in the game. That said, game making checkpoints depending on which phase your assassination is (be it either infiltration, murder or escape) kind of drags the mission-based nature of the game.
Talking about the base game ends here. Now I asked my friend his opinion regarding the changes done by the PC release of the game since I have not played Playstation 3 release and put his answer down below, which is in-depth and could be read in case there is interest from you all.
AC1’s rerelease on steam aimed to add variety to the investigations so that the process of gaining information was less monotonous. Whilst a noble attempt at refining the game I feel its execution was either misguided or sloppy. My main criticism comes from the fact majority of the new investigations are either superficial in nature or replace older ones which were more meaningfully designed for the Assassination. For example when investigating Tamir one of the older missions that’s replaced in the steam port is an eavesdrop where we gather the location of where Tamir will be found we also learn from the merchants being abused by Tamir are treated as his slaves and that Tamir has even executed some of them in the past.
Furthermore they remark that he’s abandoned the teachings of The Merchant’s Guild. All these details are significant in building Tamir’s profile, his executions already paints him as ruthless using fear to intimidate the workers under him to do his bidding, additionally the fact he sees them as slaves with no other purpose than to serve him displays that he is plagued by ego (this is even reinforced during his confession where he claims himself special by working with The Templars to creat A New World Order and also his ability to recognize arrogance in Altaïr too). Finally there’s the fact he’s forgotten the teachings of The Merchants Guild which portrays that abandoned a Creed he once believed in which not only makes him a good parallel for Altaïr but also reinforces the game’s commentary on faith and how the complete lack thereof can lead to the most heinous of deeds being perceived as justifiable.
All this is lost for a mission which simply requires u to race to an informant who just gives u the information about a meeting taking place at the souk for u to Assassinate Tamir. Even worse at times the additional missions can work in opposition to the game’s narrative. For example in William’s Assassination mission we know he’s been stealing people’s food so he may ration them yet the breaking stalls investigation has the narrative that they’re selling bad meat under William’s command and therefore need to be destroyed which makes no sense when it contradicts William’s goal (i.e taking away food to ration it, not provide it even if it is spoiled).
What’s most unjustifiable about all this is that investigations were always a backdrop and so missions like Eavesdrops and Pickpockets were always quick and to the point whilst being situated in places of interest for the player to study as the real meat of the game’s investigation period comes from studying the environment so to add new investigations which take even more time than older ones makes little sense as it draw attention away from what should be the game’s focus.
Overall it’s not the worst thing I the world as most of the old missions are retained at least and investigations are still a backdrop to the game to facilitate grandeur goals so this flaw is far from a deal breaker to playing the game and enjoying it but it does deserve criticism for making the game overall inferior in some way even if minor especially when it was completely unnecessary.
It's impressive how the of use semi open world areas - to familiarize yourself with environment on your own volition with side gigs and piling up connections instead of doing 'side quests' just to make use of it all in the main story was degenerated into the 'ubisoft open world'
The gameplay and the story are also so well synchronized (pun intended) that even the 'shortcomings' that you can experience as a result of its jank still have opposite effects and further immerse you in the game better and you could keep finding secrets on how to take advantage of its mechanics.
The game creates immersion in very simple yet organic ways, such as there not being any shops, so whenever you run out of knives, you could just ANYTIME ANYWHERE could just go on a detour and steal them from the population. Every mechanic is in such a harmony that you can't stop taking its aspects for granted, but I just kept thinking 'why are such obvious details lacking in other video games?.’
Heavy emphasis is placed on investigations to bear its fruition in the face of immersion. You can of course start investigations on each mission, gather intel and plan out how you gonna enter the area and how you gonna escape it by your own rules and then start the mission confidently, but you can also attempt to start the mission without any investigations, that will give you distinct dialogue and guide as to where could you find hints for your mission, making AC1 a game that can be perfectly played without using any kind of a map or even HUD.
The story is a bit too reddit for my taste with how it's concerned moreso about ‘dispelling the illusion’ and ideals a lot more than everyman, cultivating a bit of arrogant disbalance since I do not think fate of the population should be a matter of one on one ‘discussions’ and duels, especially in-between figures who do not have the same concerns and lives as the general population. But I appreciate that the mental states of said figures are some sort of a plea from the inner turmoil caused by the war-torn era and its never-ending disconnection.
What I could not recollect before replaying is how well structured and planned out its narrative and character work is nonetheless - maybe one of the better examples in the medium, even.
People may have been praising architecture and how districts are laid out in games like The Witcher 3 but Assassin's Creed did it before by exploring its culturally diverse and historically rich locations, actually making use of it all in regards to mechanical depth (say, building being in the middle of reconstruction have their own (dis)advantages for parkour, integral part of the gameplay).
Cities Altair visits are Damascus, Acre and of course Jerusalem. It is also worth noting that the theme songs of these cities correspond to the standing of each of these cities and thus reflect the general emotional state of the environment (as well as making use of different techniques and instruments according to their cultural difference), especially how the theme of Jerusalem is a combination of the previous one to reflect its cultural whiplash and transitory state.
Life is represented by Damascus - given its reliance on economics that distracts them from ever questioning higher matters and any of their propaganda, rather than on its own historical or religious value (to the Crusaders) that which is the very reason as to why they have not been conquered. Making it the very first city Altair visits at this most arrogance.
Death is represented by Acre - given its environmental decay and high body count on full display as it has been invaded in contrast to Damascus. Furthermore much of the Arabian and Muslim culture of the land has been eradicated with all the mosques demolished (that is single damaged one remaining that does not serve as the viewpoint anymore) to make way for churches and architectural design of buildings adopting masonry and terracotta rooftops in the richer districts. Terracotta rooftops are used to remove snowfall and since obviously there is no practical utility in building them in Syria, contradiction stands to send a message that culture is dominated by the Crusaders.
Rebirth is represented by Jerusalem - given how the city managed to revitalize itself after suffering the same fate as Acre and finally managed to move on by putting corpses in their graveyards. That said, cultural remains stuck in-between as the Crusaders influence is still intact.
The game starts by the main character committing a ‘sin’ that is used to put him on the leash and then every single encounter, in the face of an assassination mission he partakes in, seem to be (in)directly correlated to the perspective he currently possess and makes him question and finally alter his mindset by gaining faith instead of being blinded by duty and arrogance, finally reaching forgiveness from someone he wronged at the very start of the game.
Malik’s words are coherent with the themes of rebirth. He states that he doesn’t forgive Altaïr as he’s no longer the man he once knew and therefore has nothing for him to forgive - going to the point of even having enough faith in Altair to question the creed. You can see relationships like this with the other bureau leaders too (and even targets), like the Rafik in Damascus is often too arrogant and cocky and likes to mock Altaïr until he feels Altaïr has outgrown him and feels a bit jealous, the Acre Bureau Leader starts of pessimistic and places no hope in Altaïr until he sees the error in his ways and even apologizes to him
Of course assassination targets are also making maximum use of their minimal screen time to have their presence heard effectively so as for them to not break the flow of the game. My personal favourite being the one that highlights how religion dislikes his kind and only by observing his body language amidst his speech you can see the hint that the cause of this is his homosexuality on top of other personal and political nuances that makes him hate himself and the world alike, forcing him into an active role against the status quo.
Needless to say, the addition of each and every target is nuanced and further thickens the plot.
Game also starts by making use of historical context and weaponizing reputation of the fanatical religious suicidal tendencies into a strategy to defend against the siege.
And if you were to start researching history you would notice that even something as simple as the tutorial section has the assassin's indoctrination as its subtext. To put out an example, in the intro sequence of the game the animus is glitching and Altaïr is surrounded by women in a garden and there's a godlike figure in the back quoting The Book of Ecclesiastes. Symbolic of a myth surrounding the Nizari Isma’illis (aka The Assassins).
Basically a myth spread by their western foes arose where it was hypothesized that the reason why the Assassins were so fearless of death was due to their initiates being put through a process where they would be abducted by their superiors, drugged with Hashish and then taken to a garden filled with pleasures of the world such as beautiful women and exotic fruits. Here they would be granted a taste of paradise and after it would be taken away from the area, they would then be promised a return to the garden as their reward for obeying the leaders of the Nizari Isma’illis to perform their Assassinations.
This is however a myth mind you, as it was only spread by the Western foes of the Assassins and it’s also due to this that u hear the common misinformation of the word Assassin originating from the word Hashashin (meaning those who smoke Hashish) when in reality it originates from the Arabic word Assassiyun (meaning People of Principle). The game incorporates this myth ingeniously as it being the first scene of the game is not only symbolic of the game indoctrinating you as an Assassin just like the initiates were in the myth but the game also acknowledges it as something false and later on goes to dispel this myth and reveal the truth (facilitating the game’s themes of the pursuit of truth and knowledge and is why The Book of Ecclesiastes is so relevant).
Later on Al Mualim even reveals that he allows their opposition to believe this myth as it enables the Assassins to spread their fear and terror to their opponents. Furthermore the final scene of the game mirrors this first scene where Altaïr is in The Garden with Al Mualim quoting The Book of Ecclesiastes only this time we’re given context and see the memory for what it truly was (and have thus been enlightened) The utility of the animus to glitch and combine a bunch of memories to create a corrupted one to later then be dispelled after you finish the journey is ingenious as it not only enabled the team to utilize the historical & mythological context to the fullest but also to simultaneously pursue the themes of the game by dispelling the illusions presented to you
It also subtly hints to how despite their symbolic castration (at least they cut their fingers), assassins still receive earthly delights as rewards (say, prostitution), which makes them more understandable albeit hypocritical.
Assassin’s Creed is a game about what it takes to find true peace. It explores how in order to end war and vanquish the chaos poisoning the world one must first bring tranquility within themselves for it is what belongs within the heart of man that he manifests upon the world. However it also acknowledges that to authoritatively brute control into society is a solution no better than war and that one’s inner rebellion can also act as the harbinger of liberty.
Assassin’s Creed therefore provides the answer that In order to find peace in all things one must first recognize the nature of the world, that Nothing Is True and Everything Is Permitted, thus guiding us to adapt to it. Additionally it also suggests that peace is not something definite in nature to attain as if one attempts to grasp at it, it will fade into thin air like mist. It is therefore wiser to follow its trail bearing the hope in our hearts that we may one day find it
Might also be worth mentioning that the game has a stylistic philosophy of treating its events like an entire dream sequence to facilitate its themes on the power of the human mind. It also fortifies the narrative of Desmond using the animus to venture deep into his mind to discover the truth of his ancestor’s journey through enlightenment. It’s also why the animus loading screens have Altaïr traveling through a blue and white mist as it mimics the sky and clouds to reinforce that dream like state
Unfortunately the game is a bit too ambitious for its own good and thus has visible cracks as a result of being an unfinished product. Notable being traversal area that is Kingdom, which is kind of a meme outside of you seeing the environmental destruction amidst the war (this section was meant to have horse chasers and whatnot) and how entire game goes to complete shit in the endgame by turning 'assassin' simulator into 'deflect another wave', even against the final boss that completely controls Altair's movements but somehow Altair keeps moving around whenever game demands it (this section could have been changed entirely), yet still manages to maintain its narrative on thematic level at the very least and packs the story under all-new concept of (dis)illusionment, making it inherent part of human nature.
Oh yeah side gigs are also lacking in creativity in self-contained sense with how you keep repeating the same thing over and over again and for some reason initial impression and feedback of the game was that it was being too hard, so as a result the game was made a bit too easy - though I guess you could always download 'permanent rank 1' mod to compensate to a certain degree. That said, nobody really gets in your way to make the game more challenging and interesting on your own. I also have personal distaste to how you are keeping a count of how many ‘altruist’ deeds you have remained in the city, but I guess it is also up to the interpretation of the player since it can be done completely on your own volition no matter what kind of perspective Altair has in any point of the game - so it is always blurred whether it is an altruistic or calculated deed to use civilians as his pawns and even traps placed against assassination targets
Nitpicky complain I have in the process of assassination department is that even if replayability in the assassination missions are superb, it's a bit of a chore to actually restart missions - you still gonna have to get through the unskippable dialogue, replay 2-3 side gigs and some of them won't even have fast-travel available, but that's not something impossible to ignore so long as you are willing to put the effort in the game. That said, game making checkpoints depending on which phase your assassination is (be it either infiltration, murder or escape) kind of drags the mission-based nature of the game.
Talking about the base game ends here. Now I asked my friend his opinion regarding the changes done by the PC release of the game since I have not played Playstation 3 release and put his answer down below, which is in-depth and could be read in case there is interest from you all.
AC1’s rerelease on steam aimed to add variety to the investigations so that the process of gaining information was less monotonous. Whilst a noble attempt at refining the game I feel its execution was either misguided or sloppy. My main criticism comes from the fact majority of the new investigations are either superficial in nature or replace older ones which were more meaningfully designed for the Assassination. For example when investigating Tamir one of the older missions that’s replaced in the steam port is an eavesdrop where we gather the location of where Tamir will be found we also learn from the merchants being abused by Tamir are treated as his slaves and that Tamir has even executed some of them in the past.
Furthermore they remark that he’s abandoned the teachings of The Merchant’s Guild. All these details are significant in building Tamir’s profile, his executions already paints him as ruthless using fear to intimidate the workers under him to do his bidding, additionally the fact he sees them as slaves with no other purpose than to serve him displays that he is plagued by ego (this is even reinforced during his confession where he claims himself special by working with The Templars to creat A New World Order and also his ability to recognize arrogance in Altaïr too). Finally there’s the fact he’s forgotten the teachings of The Merchants Guild which portrays that abandoned a Creed he once believed in which not only makes him a good parallel for Altaïr but also reinforces the game’s commentary on faith and how the complete lack thereof can lead to the most heinous of deeds being perceived as justifiable.
All this is lost for a mission which simply requires u to race to an informant who just gives u the information about a meeting taking place at the souk for u to Assassinate Tamir. Even worse at times the additional missions can work in opposition to the game’s narrative. For example in William’s Assassination mission we know he’s been stealing people’s food so he may ration them yet the breaking stalls investigation has the narrative that they’re selling bad meat under William’s command and therefore need to be destroyed which makes no sense when it contradicts William’s goal (i.e taking away food to ration it, not provide it even if it is spoiled).
What’s most unjustifiable about all this is that investigations were always a backdrop and so missions like Eavesdrops and Pickpockets were always quick and to the point whilst being situated in places of interest for the player to study as the real meat of the game’s investigation period comes from studying the environment so to add new investigations which take even more time than older ones makes little sense as it draw attention away from what should be the game’s focus.
Overall it’s not the worst thing I the world as most of the old missions are retained at least and investigations are still a backdrop to the game to facilitate grandeur goals so this flaw is far from a deal breaker to playing the game and enjoying it but it does deserve criticism for making the game overall inferior in some way even if minor especially when it was completely unnecessary.
This review contains spoilers
Since the game is a bit too high IQ for me and thus would require from me to put an effort in writing an actual write-up, ill just throw in some incoherent ramblings I had on discord since recent chainsaw man chapter got me in good old hotline miami mood
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Hotline Miami blurs the line between human and inhuman, whether 'humans are still animals or not' idea is just an excuse, is their humanity a pretense or is it their animalistic behaviour thats a pretense?
anyway you can see Hotline Miami 2 cast as different type of characters that could have been protagonists of the sequel and I think after coming up for so many backstories, writer had an idea to make meta commentary and the subversion on the concept of sequels
difference in level design in contrast to the first installment makes it rather obvious that not a single individual from the ensemble cast is really up to being 'Jacket' that is an idea. On top of them having their individual type of gameplay to reflect their psyche, they all are also a bit too methodical and calculating to their approach to murder and are not as much into delirium when compared to Jacket who was merely seeing things in coma a lot of times and hence his dreamscape being a bit less realistic.
you see Jacket and how his behaviour influences different type of deranged people with their own masks and animals to live with and not only they can never live up to the standards of how Jacket is being idolized and immortalized, but they also never really grasp that whatever they take out from it is not the reality. reality is more fucked up but they get reality check, memento mori and reminded of their mortality
oh the game also has 'recorded' type of presentation when you are supposed to 'eject' the game for it to end, as if it was some cassete shit
it can be interpreted as scattered records to understand the truth on your own (sorta like Higurashi)
but its also usually used to visualize sociopathy (like in Kane and Lynch 2, where 'camera' is basically behaving like a camera man constantly following the main character behind)
there are a lot of interpretable shit
the monster The Son fought in the end was basically him killing The Fans but he was tripping, thinking he was entering valhalla but merely killed himself, he achieved catharsis only in his delusions while just randomly killed himself in reality. fan trip is also probably a result of him projecting jacket into the fans. they are inspired by jacket and were comrades to him in the war (son doesnt know this but its still relevant to the fans' character) and them wearing masks and then targeting the russian stronghold in the finale probably influenced sons mind in that regard
in hotline, we see jackets daily life and how he behaves extensively. his home is mostly empty. we do not see him interact with anyone up until he saves the girl kidnapped by the russians. there doesnt seem to him having anything whatsoever that doesnt make his life completely barren. we dont even see him doing his actual job and his life outside of his apartment and hits on the mafia. these all build up for his sociopathy, making it seem as if he is unable to connect with anyone or be able to complete anything outside of his violent missions. him being mute may just a trope. regarding the events of the games, beard and jacket served together in hawaii and jackets life is then saved by beard. later both of them are discharged and are assumed to have maintained contact with each other. however, towards the end of the war, russians nuke san fransisco, where beard is located. jacket is devastated by beards death, as he sees him in his dreams in the hospital, indicating that he formed a close friendship. this however may be interpreted in a different manner. it may be that due to jackets completely barren life and his unresponsive character, he simply may have exacerbated beards connection and attitude towards him, which build up his sociopathy and social ineptitude even more. after the nuking of sanfran, russia and america governments form a coalition to put a stop to future conflict, and america is humiliated. huge waves of russian immigrants flood america. this flooding is implied by the fact that bolshevik russia was an economical shithole while america was prosperous in the 80s. russians taking advantage of this as well as the indiscriminate bombings and humiliations in the war heightens tensions between the russian immigrants and american citizens. the russian mafia expanding in various parts of the country complicates this even further. the general from beard missions founds 50 blessings organization with other individuals who are disillusioned
with the american governments handling of the things. they attract others into their organization by putting up a patriotic front, but the exact motivations and mannerisms of the higher ups is left to different interpretations with the janitors and the generals behaviour. going back to jacket, as 50 blessings starts recruiting or forcing others to hit russian locales to further their so called patriotic front, jacket is also recruited. jacket accepts everything that is thrown at him. he doesnt ask questions. he doesnt wonder why he is doing what he is doing. he simply seems to not care. he brutalizes russians and their american associates (politicians, fat black enemies in levels, 3rd party drug dealers) without a hint of emotion. the major interpretation is that jacket despises russians because of them killing beard. whether jackets relationship with beard was genuinely mutual or it was his sociopathy and delusions manifesting as early as the hawaiian conflict is up to your interpretation. but in the very first level, despite not showing a single hint of character and personality when killing the russians, he beats a homeless man because of him being a witness to his operation and kills him. and then he pukes. jacket is so far removed psychologically that he feels genuine remorse and/or shock for killing any other guy, but his behaviour is twisted with the russians. he does not have any relationships, and is a complete recluse. he is unable to connect with anyone but then finds the girl tortured, raped and drugged in one of the russians dens and starts an intimate relationship with her. because of her presence, he starts to clean his apartment and seems to correct his errors more often. they eventually are implied to even have sex. the girl may be way over his head because of the trauma she recieved, and such situations cause people to haywire in the head, ie create feelings for people who rescued them instinctually. but jacket does not give a fuck.
he simply relishes in the girls affection for him and either tries to genuinely correct himself or deludes himself due to his erratic psychology. again, this double interpretation is due to jackets sociopathic nature already established with his treatment of the russians regardless of which way you wanna pull it, and so you can either view a lot of stuff he does as genuine or irrational. the latter part i have mostly not seen being said in any hotline community, but i dont interact with them anyways. yet all of that we see is unreliable anyway, because richter shot jacket and jacket was in the hospital dreaming of all the events that transpired before him waking up. this part concludes jackets sociopathy which the video talks about. his ignorance is his other major side of his character. not once does jacket question the authority that tells him to bomb this and kill that. he doesnt give the slightest fuck about why he is doing any of the things he is doing. he never even tries to pick up the pieces together even when there are major hints right in front of him. richter, jake, the original tiger mask guy and plenty of others can be found throughout the levels tortured or murdered by the russians or locked up. they were doing the exact same thing as jacket did, but he never even cared, he didnt even make an effort to notice. richter pleads uselessly to jacket but when he does he also alludes to 50 blessings and how they are connected to everything. instead jacket refuses to listen, and thinks that it was the russians all along. since he doesnt give a shit, he makes up his mind on how the events transpired and concludes that there were rivaling russian factions that wanted to destroy the other ones, and that jacket was simply used by one of them against the other. he stands on trial and gives that statement to the judge. that is his ignorance. instead of trying to get a grip and focus on what is really happening, he just pleases himself with violating russians.
this ignorance and cowardice is also represented in other characters like biker, fans, son and evan. like i have said before, it mocks those who are capable of dealing with the issues at hand but choose to satisfy their base desires instead, and so the generals deranged speech is the clearest statement of what is going on in the minds of those characters. the meta comes into play here. just like how the characters dont give a shit and refuse to reason, to think, to understand, the players themselves also do not care for hotlines story, and the devs criticize them for that, as they think the story and what its saying is important. most hotline fans couldnt give a fuck about anything other than the ultra violence you can perform in the games, and so they complain about all these nitpicky issues about games length, level designs and gameplay issues, which are valid, but neglect the heart of hotlines story and do not want to bother with what the devs are trying to say. so to them what happened is just delirious meme-y bullshit that they couldnt take seriously. and the devs clearly give a huge fuck about the story because look at how intricately woven it is inside the various events of the chapters and how it stretches and interconnects between the perspectives of the various characters between the games. and so richard berates jacket and the others for their inability and cowardice. not because he thought they truly had any power to stop any of what happened, but because they chose to remain lowly while neglecting everything. this is what richard is. an omen that tells people about their impending doom and criticizes them in a completely humane manner, like any other sane person looking at what the people of hotline were doing.
jake was so loyal to the cause and just showed genuine support for the faction and was ready to go berserk but they killed him canonically actually, executed by 50 blessings, it builds generals jadedness and how he doesnt give a fuck about nationalism or patriotism actually
general being coerced to force his soldiers to perform suicide ops because of goverment pressure and patriotic rhetoric being flipped in current hotline era by how he tricks losers by nationalist rhetoric and sends them on suicide missions themselves to unravel russian political dominance
pardo is a mentally stunted attention whore. his personality can be regarded as an aspect of masculinity(though its not exclusive to masculinity). the desire to be on top and be recognized by all. having all the lights shine on his ass and get all the fame. jacket is publicized and his murders are all over everywhere. everyone talks about it and discusses why this mf did what he did. he also has anger issues. we see him suicidally charging into drug dens and cartel bases killing everyone. thats his way of cooling off. and he also has done some pretty fucked up stuff that would cost his job and evan knows this, hence why evan forces him to give info, saying that pardo owes him big time. being pissed about jackets rise, pardo then starts his own murder spree. at first he doesnt know or understand what would get hot on the press, as he didnt murder people meticulously but just gunned down criminals. so he just slits someones throat and thinks its all good. then the cops arrive at the scene and he keeps telling both them and evan that this miami mutilator case is much more sophisticated, subconsciously trying to exert his presence and overtake that of jackets. there is an instance where lightning flashes and we see camera crew filming pardo and the scene. both are more hints to figure out his craving for attention. later, the fans become famous and that makes the jacket case and the situation with the masked murderers across miami even more hot. this pisses off pardo so he tries to get more violent with his methods. disembowels his second victim. then goes berserk and charges into colombuian ship. in his latest murder he slips and leaves evidence for police to find him. the scene is also much more gruesome as this time he flayed the skin of the victim when he was alive, then ripped open his chest. both him slipping and being more grotesque can be interpreted as his subconscious giving way for his apprehension, as that is the quickest way to fame, to stand on trial
like jacket is on trial right now. afterwards he realizes he left his gun at the crime scene and encounters his other criminally insane self, which is a very basic bitch scene. he then dreams of how his apprehension would play out. him being all regretful and telling he had no choice but to do it, killing all the officers trying to take him out, etc. which is even more emphasis on his attention craving fantasy as that is even more newsline worthy material. just like what jacket did to confront richter in the police precinct, gunning down all the cops there. then he wakes up and gets a call thinking his fellow lawmen are gonna bust his ass. he gets paranoid and barricades himself and drinks. but in reality it was them calling him because the russians were gonna nuke the place and his help was needed. and then he dies in his manic state, getting nuked into oblivion like evan, jacket and richter. pardo is the sideman who got delusional into thinking that he needs to be at the center of everything and destroys his life to do so. but in the end it doesnt even matter. no one had the opportunity to figure him out and he died like all the rest.
beards relationship with jacket is also kind of fascinating in regards to how jacket percieves it. he wanted revenge for Beard but probably also thought he was as cool as Beard
Him seeing beard dead next to Richter was already a hint to him slowly ‘remembering’ and blaming it all to Richter, but there is more to it
beard missions portray jacket and beard as comrades but they arent shown as close friends, beard is just a good guy that did what he thought best, the photo scene can be just jacket doing at least some sort of action to establish human contact, but his perception of beard in his dreams and how little interaction there is between the two in reality gives way to jacket being delusional cunt exacerbating his relationship and finding reason to commit mass slaughter without a good excuse
beard and jacket relationship is open to two interpretations. jacket being emotional because of beard death simply because they were friends. You could also say that the other aspect fits more in character with jacket is jacket deluding himself with beards perception and reception of him and then exacerbating it
the idea that someone could do all that shit to Russians was probably plausible since The Beard was just that good so nonchalantly, unlike literally anyone else who holds malice in heart, and all of it got catalyzed by something that was not done in malice at all, hence the cover of the game where Beard is looking into atomic explosion that came out of nowhere to him, he was just doing army gigs after all but somehow it kickstarted environmental destruction on which he had zero awareness and control over. Sort of like ‘death of the author’
i doubt Jacket genuinely cares about beard in a way that would be considered genuine or emotionally healthy and he is using beard as an excuse for his own bullshit desire to go berserk and massacre russians, but he still has gripes as the only time he didnt kill russians and others that werent adverseries made him puke his guts out, like he doesnt question what he is doing with shaking the russian mafia even once during the events of the game, he just goes along with everything 50B is telling him to do, he is senseless and doesnt care, he just likes hurting other people
and thats why richard reprimands and scolds him. because its too late and he never even tried to understand what was happening around him. did you notice what he was saying in his testimony in trial chapter - he was saying how rival russian factions manipulated him to take each other out - fucking dumbfuck.
he would not care about Beard, he was just nervously smoking shit in army and was not talking to anyone
in stories like Apocalypse Now and stuff influenced by it, we always only get stuff about army and how it turns people psychotic and full of PTSD but they always leave the rest up to interpretation. in HM, Apocalypse Now shit is moreso an army backstory, while consequences of such an experience are shown and taken to the extreme
Richter man just lives in shit and has to take care of a mother thats pretty much dying with natural causes instead of violence or anything and he can't really fight it in any shape or form. It's a conflict that can even be associated with Superman
richter in actually is a normal dude who cares about his loved ones and is forced into take action by others threatening to take that away from him, but jacket just sees him as basic villain and richter is also apologetic and sympathetic towards him when he gets confronted in prison, he also makes richter responsible for all the stuff happened so that builds into him deluding himself into thinking russians were just doing their own shit and take each other out, he also makes richter evil by him saying diabolical shit and shooting his woman
i dont even know if richter was the one who shot jackets woman
Its also cool how HM2 menu is nuclear blast and they basically bomb the idea that HM3 could ever exist, pretty much a final nail to the so-called ‘sequel’ coffinn
Don’t remember if I mentioned it above but theres also a cool detail in the game that you can’t actually hurt women in the game and you get punished for even attempting it.
Oh yeah music and level design also fucks in this game idc
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Hotline Miami blurs the line between human and inhuman, whether 'humans are still animals or not' idea is just an excuse, is their humanity a pretense or is it their animalistic behaviour thats a pretense?
anyway you can see Hotline Miami 2 cast as different type of characters that could have been protagonists of the sequel and I think after coming up for so many backstories, writer had an idea to make meta commentary and the subversion on the concept of sequels
difference in level design in contrast to the first installment makes it rather obvious that not a single individual from the ensemble cast is really up to being 'Jacket' that is an idea. On top of them having their individual type of gameplay to reflect their psyche, they all are also a bit too methodical and calculating to their approach to murder and are not as much into delirium when compared to Jacket who was merely seeing things in coma a lot of times and hence his dreamscape being a bit less realistic.
you see Jacket and how his behaviour influences different type of deranged people with their own masks and animals to live with and not only they can never live up to the standards of how Jacket is being idolized and immortalized, but they also never really grasp that whatever they take out from it is not the reality. reality is more fucked up but they get reality check, memento mori and reminded of their mortality
oh the game also has 'recorded' type of presentation when you are supposed to 'eject' the game for it to end, as if it was some cassete shit
it can be interpreted as scattered records to understand the truth on your own (sorta like Higurashi)
but its also usually used to visualize sociopathy (like in Kane and Lynch 2, where 'camera' is basically behaving like a camera man constantly following the main character behind)
there are a lot of interpretable shit
the monster The Son fought in the end was basically him killing The Fans but he was tripping, thinking he was entering valhalla but merely killed himself, he achieved catharsis only in his delusions while just randomly killed himself in reality. fan trip is also probably a result of him projecting jacket into the fans. they are inspired by jacket and were comrades to him in the war (son doesnt know this but its still relevant to the fans' character) and them wearing masks and then targeting the russian stronghold in the finale probably influenced sons mind in that regard
in hotline, we see jackets daily life and how he behaves extensively. his home is mostly empty. we do not see him interact with anyone up until he saves the girl kidnapped by the russians. there doesnt seem to him having anything whatsoever that doesnt make his life completely barren. we dont even see him doing his actual job and his life outside of his apartment and hits on the mafia. these all build up for his sociopathy, making it seem as if he is unable to connect with anyone or be able to complete anything outside of his violent missions. him being mute may just a trope. regarding the events of the games, beard and jacket served together in hawaii and jackets life is then saved by beard. later both of them are discharged and are assumed to have maintained contact with each other. however, towards the end of the war, russians nuke san fransisco, where beard is located. jacket is devastated by beards death, as he sees him in his dreams in the hospital, indicating that he formed a close friendship. this however may be interpreted in a different manner. it may be that due to jackets completely barren life and his unresponsive character, he simply may have exacerbated beards connection and attitude towards him, which build up his sociopathy and social ineptitude even more. after the nuking of sanfran, russia and america governments form a coalition to put a stop to future conflict, and america is humiliated. huge waves of russian immigrants flood america. this flooding is implied by the fact that bolshevik russia was an economical shithole while america was prosperous in the 80s. russians taking advantage of this as well as the indiscriminate bombings and humiliations in the war heightens tensions between the russian immigrants and american citizens. the russian mafia expanding in various parts of the country complicates this even further. the general from beard missions founds 50 blessings organization with other individuals who are disillusioned
with the american governments handling of the things. they attract others into their organization by putting up a patriotic front, but the exact motivations and mannerisms of the higher ups is left to different interpretations with the janitors and the generals behaviour. going back to jacket, as 50 blessings starts recruiting or forcing others to hit russian locales to further their so called patriotic front, jacket is also recruited. jacket accepts everything that is thrown at him. he doesnt ask questions. he doesnt wonder why he is doing what he is doing. he simply seems to not care. he brutalizes russians and their american associates (politicians, fat black enemies in levels, 3rd party drug dealers) without a hint of emotion. the major interpretation is that jacket despises russians because of them killing beard. whether jackets relationship with beard was genuinely mutual or it was his sociopathy and delusions manifesting as early as the hawaiian conflict is up to your interpretation. but in the very first level, despite not showing a single hint of character and personality when killing the russians, he beats a homeless man because of him being a witness to his operation and kills him. and then he pukes. jacket is so far removed psychologically that he feels genuine remorse and/or shock for killing any other guy, but his behaviour is twisted with the russians. he does not have any relationships, and is a complete recluse. he is unable to connect with anyone but then finds the girl tortured, raped and drugged in one of the russians dens and starts an intimate relationship with her. because of her presence, he starts to clean his apartment and seems to correct his errors more often. they eventually are implied to even have sex. the girl may be way over his head because of the trauma she recieved, and such situations cause people to haywire in the head, ie create feelings for people who rescued them instinctually. but jacket does not give a fuck.
he simply relishes in the girls affection for him and either tries to genuinely correct himself or deludes himself due to his erratic psychology. again, this double interpretation is due to jackets sociopathic nature already established with his treatment of the russians regardless of which way you wanna pull it, and so you can either view a lot of stuff he does as genuine or irrational. the latter part i have mostly not seen being said in any hotline community, but i dont interact with them anyways. yet all of that we see is unreliable anyway, because richter shot jacket and jacket was in the hospital dreaming of all the events that transpired before him waking up. this part concludes jackets sociopathy which the video talks about. his ignorance is his other major side of his character. not once does jacket question the authority that tells him to bomb this and kill that. he doesnt give the slightest fuck about why he is doing any of the things he is doing. he never even tries to pick up the pieces together even when there are major hints right in front of him. richter, jake, the original tiger mask guy and plenty of others can be found throughout the levels tortured or murdered by the russians or locked up. they were doing the exact same thing as jacket did, but he never even cared, he didnt even make an effort to notice. richter pleads uselessly to jacket but when he does he also alludes to 50 blessings and how they are connected to everything. instead jacket refuses to listen, and thinks that it was the russians all along. since he doesnt give a shit, he makes up his mind on how the events transpired and concludes that there were rivaling russian factions that wanted to destroy the other ones, and that jacket was simply used by one of them against the other. he stands on trial and gives that statement to the judge. that is his ignorance. instead of trying to get a grip and focus on what is really happening, he just pleases himself with violating russians.
this ignorance and cowardice is also represented in other characters like biker, fans, son and evan. like i have said before, it mocks those who are capable of dealing with the issues at hand but choose to satisfy their base desires instead, and so the generals deranged speech is the clearest statement of what is going on in the minds of those characters. the meta comes into play here. just like how the characters dont give a shit and refuse to reason, to think, to understand, the players themselves also do not care for hotlines story, and the devs criticize them for that, as they think the story and what its saying is important. most hotline fans couldnt give a fuck about anything other than the ultra violence you can perform in the games, and so they complain about all these nitpicky issues about games length, level designs and gameplay issues, which are valid, but neglect the heart of hotlines story and do not want to bother with what the devs are trying to say. so to them what happened is just delirious meme-y bullshit that they couldnt take seriously. and the devs clearly give a huge fuck about the story because look at how intricately woven it is inside the various events of the chapters and how it stretches and interconnects between the perspectives of the various characters between the games. and so richard berates jacket and the others for their inability and cowardice. not because he thought they truly had any power to stop any of what happened, but because they chose to remain lowly while neglecting everything. this is what richard is. an omen that tells people about their impending doom and criticizes them in a completely humane manner, like any other sane person looking at what the people of hotline were doing.
jake was so loyal to the cause and just showed genuine support for the faction and was ready to go berserk but they killed him canonically actually, executed by 50 blessings, it builds generals jadedness and how he doesnt give a fuck about nationalism or patriotism actually
general being coerced to force his soldiers to perform suicide ops because of goverment pressure and patriotic rhetoric being flipped in current hotline era by how he tricks losers by nationalist rhetoric and sends them on suicide missions themselves to unravel russian political dominance
pardo is a mentally stunted attention whore. his personality can be regarded as an aspect of masculinity(though its not exclusive to masculinity). the desire to be on top and be recognized by all. having all the lights shine on his ass and get all the fame. jacket is publicized and his murders are all over everywhere. everyone talks about it and discusses why this mf did what he did. he also has anger issues. we see him suicidally charging into drug dens and cartel bases killing everyone. thats his way of cooling off. and he also has done some pretty fucked up stuff that would cost his job and evan knows this, hence why evan forces him to give info, saying that pardo owes him big time. being pissed about jackets rise, pardo then starts his own murder spree. at first he doesnt know or understand what would get hot on the press, as he didnt murder people meticulously but just gunned down criminals. so he just slits someones throat and thinks its all good. then the cops arrive at the scene and he keeps telling both them and evan that this miami mutilator case is much more sophisticated, subconsciously trying to exert his presence and overtake that of jackets. there is an instance where lightning flashes and we see camera crew filming pardo and the scene. both are more hints to figure out his craving for attention. later, the fans become famous and that makes the jacket case and the situation with the masked murderers across miami even more hot. this pisses off pardo so he tries to get more violent with his methods. disembowels his second victim. then goes berserk and charges into colombuian ship. in his latest murder he slips and leaves evidence for police to find him. the scene is also much more gruesome as this time he flayed the skin of the victim when he was alive, then ripped open his chest. both him slipping and being more grotesque can be interpreted as his subconscious giving way for his apprehension, as that is the quickest way to fame, to stand on trial
like jacket is on trial right now. afterwards he realizes he left his gun at the crime scene and encounters his other criminally insane self, which is a very basic bitch scene. he then dreams of how his apprehension would play out. him being all regretful and telling he had no choice but to do it, killing all the officers trying to take him out, etc. which is even more emphasis on his attention craving fantasy as that is even more newsline worthy material. just like what jacket did to confront richter in the police precinct, gunning down all the cops there. then he wakes up and gets a call thinking his fellow lawmen are gonna bust his ass. he gets paranoid and barricades himself and drinks. but in reality it was them calling him because the russians were gonna nuke the place and his help was needed. and then he dies in his manic state, getting nuked into oblivion like evan, jacket and richter. pardo is the sideman who got delusional into thinking that he needs to be at the center of everything and destroys his life to do so. but in the end it doesnt even matter. no one had the opportunity to figure him out and he died like all the rest.
beards relationship with jacket is also kind of fascinating in regards to how jacket percieves it. he wanted revenge for Beard but probably also thought he was as cool as Beard
Him seeing beard dead next to Richter was already a hint to him slowly ‘remembering’ and blaming it all to Richter, but there is more to it
beard missions portray jacket and beard as comrades but they arent shown as close friends, beard is just a good guy that did what he thought best, the photo scene can be just jacket doing at least some sort of action to establish human contact, but his perception of beard in his dreams and how little interaction there is between the two in reality gives way to jacket being delusional cunt exacerbating his relationship and finding reason to commit mass slaughter without a good excuse
beard and jacket relationship is open to two interpretations. jacket being emotional because of beard death simply because they were friends. You could also say that the other aspect fits more in character with jacket is jacket deluding himself with beards perception and reception of him and then exacerbating it
the idea that someone could do all that shit to Russians was probably plausible since The Beard was just that good so nonchalantly, unlike literally anyone else who holds malice in heart, and all of it got catalyzed by something that was not done in malice at all, hence the cover of the game where Beard is looking into atomic explosion that came out of nowhere to him, he was just doing army gigs after all but somehow it kickstarted environmental destruction on which he had zero awareness and control over. Sort of like ‘death of the author’
i doubt Jacket genuinely cares about beard in a way that would be considered genuine or emotionally healthy and he is using beard as an excuse for his own bullshit desire to go berserk and massacre russians, but he still has gripes as the only time he didnt kill russians and others that werent adverseries made him puke his guts out, like he doesnt question what he is doing with shaking the russian mafia even once during the events of the game, he just goes along with everything 50B is telling him to do, he is senseless and doesnt care, he just likes hurting other people
and thats why richard reprimands and scolds him. because its too late and he never even tried to understand what was happening around him. did you notice what he was saying in his testimony in trial chapter - he was saying how rival russian factions manipulated him to take each other out - fucking dumbfuck.
he would not care about Beard, he was just nervously smoking shit in army and was not talking to anyone
in stories like Apocalypse Now and stuff influenced by it, we always only get stuff about army and how it turns people psychotic and full of PTSD but they always leave the rest up to interpretation. in HM, Apocalypse Now shit is moreso an army backstory, while consequences of such an experience are shown and taken to the extreme
Richter man just lives in shit and has to take care of a mother thats pretty much dying with natural causes instead of violence or anything and he can't really fight it in any shape or form. It's a conflict that can even be associated with Superman
richter in actually is a normal dude who cares about his loved ones and is forced into take action by others threatening to take that away from him, but jacket just sees him as basic villain and richter is also apologetic and sympathetic towards him when he gets confronted in prison, he also makes richter responsible for all the stuff happened so that builds into him deluding himself into thinking russians were just doing their own shit and take each other out, he also makes richter evil by him saying diabolical shit and shooting his woman
i dont even know if richter was the one who shot jackets woman
Its also cool how HM2 menu is nuclear blast and they basically bomb the idea that HM3 could ever exist, pretty much a final nail to the so-called ‘sequel’ coffinn
Don’t remember if I mentioned it above but theres also a cool detail in the game that you can’t actually hurt women in the game and you get punished for even attempting it.
Oh yeah music and level design also fucks in this game idc
Silent Hill 2
2001
More like Mickey Mouse Hill 2
Trails of Cold Steel 2 : Fascinatingly Bad
Previously, in my journey throughhell the Kiseki series, we covered the first game in the third arc of this now cult classic series and I concluded rather harshly and in length that it was indeed one of the worst JRPG that I’ve ever played.
In response to such vitriolic hatred for what is essentially a very mediocre bargain bin RPG of the week, my friends quickly responded to me with the following statement : “If you think CS1 is bad, I can’t wait for you to try the 2nd one, it’ll make you think it was actually a masterpiece” which instead of dissuading me from continuing on with the franchise actually got me curious about what that might entail.
You see, Trails of Cold Steel 2 had a bit of a rocky development history. Around 2012, the PS Vita was slowly but surely put on the front as the successor to the PSP, Falcom just went through what could be considered their 2nd golden age with the PSP with a wide variety of titles across both PSP and PC a lot of action-rpg of course since it was until recently their main activity as game devs but also the Trails series which was picking up some speed, so much so that the fabled “Zwei 3” was instead released as “Nayuta No Kiseki” to profit off of the Kiseki brand (a fruitless effort since it was one of the last RPG on the PSP and by that point people have already moved on to other things).
This transitional period was a bit rough for Falcom which had two big projects for the PS Vita, the first one was “Ys : Memories of Celceta” a (bad) remake of Ys IV and of course the next entry in the Kiseki series aka “Trails of Cold Steel”. However, in a moment of extreme “lucidity”, Toshihiro Kondo asked the team at Falcom to develop the game for both the PS Vita and the Playstation 3, marking the first time Falcom has worked on a a game for home console since the mid 2000’s (if you can count porting Ys VI on PS2 as making a console game).
This of course lead to a lot of undesired results, the game was a buggy mess on release with tons of issues running on both platforms and on top of that they had to cut corner everywhere because Cold Steel was simply becoming too ambitious for the studio to reasonably finish it in time, but no worries because they just decided to cut the last hours of the game and release it later as its own standalone experience. What was supposed to be one game probably followed by one more sequel like the Crossbell saga became a 4 game long epic separated into 2 sub-arc each, of which Cold Steel 2 was the second half of that first arc (yeah it’s a bit complicated to follow, I swear I’m trying my best here).
So what exactly is Trails of Cold Steel 2 ? Well imagine if you took the second half of Final Fantasy VI and made it an entire 70h game instead because for some reasons Falcom decided that it would be a brilliant idea to do the “Search for your friends'' bit from FFVI again making it the third time this has happened in the series and I really must ask myself.
“Does Falcom think we wouldn’t notice they’re just shamelessly recycling ideas from other titles AND themselves ?” Well perhaps.
But I don’t really mind, if it’s done well, it could still save itself from the plagiarism allegations and besides the series has its own set of quirks to compensate (for better or for worse).
I’m sorry in advance if this review is gonna be shorter than the previous one (post edit note : this is a lie) because honestly my thoughts on this game are not nearly as intense, most of what was bad about CS1 still carries over from CS2 there’s very little change between the two titles, it is for the most part a straight continuation of what was done previously and that’s gonna be the main bulk of the issue.
Because the foundations that CS1 established were so weak to begin with, it was really hard to get invested into what CS2 wanted to tell me with its story. One thing that I will say CS2 has over CS1 is that the story is a bit more “engaging”, it’s less about experiencing slice-of-life moments between the most boring RPG party you’ve ever interacted with and more so about following a terrible mess of a story that would make Nomura’s writing seem sensible in comparison.
I guess I’ll get the gameplay out of the way first since there’s a few new additions, the battle system remains almost exactly the same as CS1 with the little addition of the “overdrive” gauge, if you’ve read my review of Azure I’ve explained that this game had something called a “burst” gauge which could unleash a massive boost on your characters abilities, getting them priority moves, let them cast spell cost-free and acting as an emergency heal button on top of that, pretty much the “fuck shit up button”. Well overdrive is more or less the same except instead of acting for the entire party, it acts only for the two characters that are linked together on the field and also only acts for three turns instead of dropping down based on your actions.
This small addition is welcome and definitely make battles a little bit more dynamic but it still a very feeble addition with the only real strategic use being to buff your party very very quickly (and the main reason why I used Jusis way more often this time around) during boss fight to more quickly dispatch of them in one hit thanks to Laura aka “What if we turned One Punch Man into a party member” s-craft.
Because yeah, unsurprisingly, the game balance here is even more awful than it was in CS1. Again, I've played the game on normal like with all the other entries but here it almost felt like I was cheating the game and I probably should’ve upped the difficulty to give the game any semblance of challenge. The reason why the game balance is so bad here is because you retain most of your broken crafts and stats from the previous game, since this game acts more like a 2nd disc than a sequel. This means that you start the early game with what were end-game abilities.
It’s nothing new in the series mind you but here since the game is so craft-centric and they didn’t even bother to nerf your crafts like Azure did coming off of Zero, it makes the early, mid and endgame stupidly easy, heck the second you obtain the “Domination” quartz which doubles the damage output of any attack/crafts/s-craft first used in battle, you can pretty much destroy any bosses in one-hit with a turboboosted Laura.
Which further emphasizes how the changes made to the orbment system to make it more accessible/straightforward only made the game battle system a complete mess and while it is fun to break the game in half, it doesn’t necessarily make for an engaging combat system for more than 70 or so hours. Some fights required a bit more strategy like the cryptids which are superbosses scattered across the map but even then, it’s often not that deep either.
But now on top of the regular battle system, you have GIANT MECH FIGHTS !
Those were already featured in the last 20 minutes or so of CS1 but here they are more present, punctuating or sometimes concluding big stretches of the main story for spectacle purposes and while they definitely do a good job at making me hype thanks to the music and the presence of giant robots and all of the implications surrounding their existences on the battlefield, the actual gameplay is a bit rough… but if I’m being perfectly honest, I’ve rarely seen any RPG 100% nailing mech combats so I’m not gonna hold it against the game for not perfecting the formula.
The fights are just a guessing game where you have to hit your target in specific areas of their body, that part changing depending on the stance they’re having, a pretty interesting concept bogged down by the fact it’s never obvious what part of the body becomes the weak point and that even if you do hit the weak point, you don’t have a 100% chance of breaking the opponents guards, meaning the best strategy to win most fight is to put yourself in counter stance and let the game break the guards for you. There’s definitely room to improve those fights, they’re a nice little distraction from the mundanity of the main combat system but they definitely need some tweaking to be more engaging and less gimmicky.
Now that we got the most minimal change out of the way first, let’s talk about the actual big ass elephant in the room which is, you guessed it, the story !
CS1 was meant to be an introduction to the world of Erebonia but if you go back and read my review of it, you will quickly notice that this introduction was not only lackluster but also presented in the least engaging way possible. From long drawn-out info dumps dropped in the worst places, the repetitive, dull and predictable structure of its chapter based narrative, its bland and shallow characters I ended up having little to no attachment to by the end of the game and of course a confused mess of a main political conflict backed up by Kondo’s new weird obsession with centrism and faux gray morality and complete misunderstanding of basic concept such as class warfare and the separation of power.
Out of all the 90+ hours it took me to finish CS1 only the ending portion was of any significant interest because that’s where the game started to have an heavier atmosphere with soon to be child soldiers dreading the very real possibility to be drafted and of course the introduction of the big giant mechs introduced earlier as well as the heel turn of one of our party member Crow who is somewhat of a rival to Rean in this game in a kinda Amuro-Char kinda way (which is equally as gay but not equally as good as that aforementioned dynamic).
We start the story in the mountain range separated from all of our comrades with an understandably distraught Rean crying over the potential loss of his friends and after a quick walk in the area, you get saved by your sister Elise who welcomes you to your hometown of Ymir.
Ymir which by the way is a place the team have already visited in CS1 and even fought an Ouroboros member one time, don't you remember it ? Of course you don’t because it was a chapter that was completely absent from the original game instead being repurposed as a freaking Drama CD and let’s be frank, nobody ever in the history of forever listens to those.
After an altercation with the local Ouroboros super bad guy working for the newly established “Noble Alliance” who acts as the main antagonistic force in this game, your sister and the princess of the country gets kidnapped so now Rean has to gather all of his comrades thanks to his giant robots convenient teleportation magic ability.
One thing I appreciate about CS2 compared to CS1 is how the game decides to shake up the core structure of a Trails game, not by much of course but enough to be noticeable. Instead of the game being separated in chapters, this time the game is separated into 3 acts, meaning the narration and overall game structure can be little more free form and if the first act is pretty straightforward (gathering your friends by revisiting previous areas), the 2nd act decides to do something that is in part interesting from a game design aspect but also terrible from a story pacing perspective.
See CS2 was originally meant to be the last 10 hours of the original game, this game’s final act and the entire game pretty much feels like one drawn out quest to gather up your forces and take on the bad guy which I guess is fine if like for Azure it’s the last arc of an otherwise pretty long and substantial game but here, you quickly come to realize that CS2 really struggles to fill its gametime with meaningful story content somehow even more so than the original game which was mostly about nothing.
But the few story bits there are, are in fact a bit more substantial, I just wish that they were actually good.
Starting with the character writing.
It’s no surprise that I value good characters in my stories and the first game completely failed at making me care about the massive cast of playable characters it had. But the Kiseki series is a long series of games with a solid sense of continuity and usually can surprise me with the way they shake things up and manage to make me care about characters I didn’t truly have any reason to give a shit about in the sequel.
But sadly, CS2 manages to somehow fuck up that aspect beyond belief, none and I mean NONE of the characters aside from the main protagonist goes through any form of development, arcs or anything of the sort during the course of the main story. The only character in this game that approaches something even resembling a character arc is Jusis and it just isn’t a good arc whatsoever. It’s an arc about having to come to terms with his family's shitty actions and fight for himself and what he believes in, pretty standard stuff and honestly not handled super well because of something about this game story I will develop in a minute.
Any semblance of characterization or even minuscule amount of development these characters are contained almost exclusively within their bonding events which means that for some reason, the developers thought that something as basic as character writing should be given to the discretion of the player and be completely optional and missable contents !
Alisa or Machias could be the most 10/10 characters to ever grace the medium and I will still have nothing to say about them because I didn’t focus on them at all when allocating bonding points and I certainly wasn’t going to save scum to see all character events which often times can be up to fucking FIFTEEN AT EACH CHAPTER TRANSITIONS. This design philosophy is not only completely asinine but also completely antithetical to the idea of good character writing or just good writing in a video game in general.
Since my love for these characters have been almost non-existent, I had little to no desire to learn more about them and if they wanted me to care, they should’ve given me something to chew on outside of this pathetic excuse of a social link system which completely misunderstood the appeal of such a system from a game which itself already had issues balancing it correctly, but at least Persona feels somewhat competent in the uses of such mechanics, CS1 and even more so CS2 are embarrassingly bad with their take on it.
It’s not even like the bonding events are all that good either, the ones I’ve focused on mostly for gameplay reasons (focusing on characters I actively use in battle for stat boosting rather than because I’m interested in them) have been for the most part barebones, bland and uninteresting.
How come a character like Laura even get past the conceptualization process, all of her bonding events involves her either talking about swords, swinging a sword or philosophizing about… you guessed it SWORDS. Her entire personality and arc revolves around the idea that she’s a swordswoman like she’s a knight class character from some 80’s RPG on the freaking NES and those usually didn’t TALK about their job so goddamn much.
And you can apply this to pretty much any characters in your party, somehow the development team sat at a table and probably pinned drawings of the characters on a white board and then glued sticky notes on them with random words and said “yeup that’s going to be the whole character !”.
Millium is a literal super-spy working for the government but all of your interactions with her will be about cooking stuff and generally be the resident pedo-bait character because this is yet again a very self-indulgent japanese RPG aimed at teenagers or creepy weirdos with reprehensible fetishes.
Emma literally is a walking plot device, her entire character can be summed up as “I knew about it but I didn’t tell you because of my secret mission as a witch” and then bla bla bla exposition and self-pitying about having to hide shit from us, weirdly enough that makes her the most relevant character in the story because she’s pretty much the spokesperson for all of the random lore shit the game plot gravitates around during certain key point of the narrative and she’s also related directly to one of the main antagonist and resident Team Galaxy Admin : Vita Clotilde, a witch that can manipulate people through her singing.
I could go on and on about the characters in this game but really who cares, if the game doesn’t even make the bare minimum to make them interesting or likable, why should I make efforts trying to analyze and discuss them in the first place.
They had two 70-90 hours worth of gametime to do so and they failed miserably so fuck it fr.
HECK EVEN TOWA, THE ONE CHARACTER I LIKE IN THIS DUOLOGY DOESN’T HAVE ANY MEAT TO HER BONES IN THIS ONE, I’ve still defaulted to her for continuity reasons (which further emphasize how dumb that bonding system is in a game series with a supposed one true canon) and because I like her the most but Jesus Christ they even managed to not make me care as much about the only character I had even the slightest of attachment to in this cast.
Which leaves us with our homeboy, our hero, our guy, our light at the end of the tunnel, our shining beacon of hope and righteousness ! Our Protagonist, Rean Schwarzer !
In the original game, Rean was… not that interesting, he was a rather bland, uninteresting character that I didn’t have much attachment or even strong opinion about, he was generic but I guess that in a world full of walking anime clichés passing off as real human being, he fitted in as a player stand-in and blank slate.
That’s not to say he had nothing to his name in the original, we saw the beginning of his self doubt and self-pity linked to an ever consuming desire to protect others oftentimes prioritizing the well-being of others before his own. We also had some hints about his inner powers, like how he can go beast-mode sometimes and have cool white-hair like the dude from Tokyo Ghoul (do people still care about Tokyo Ghoul ?). And lastly, he’s an awakener, one of seven chosen ones (to which we only see 2 of them) who can control the fabled Divine Knights, powerful ancient machines that can do cool magic robot things (and I’ll admit that Valimar’s design is pretty sick !).
But it’s in this game that Rean finally come into his own as a proper character and let me tell you, I wish he kept his mouth shut because Rean went from a character I was completely indifferent towards in the first game to one I actively fucking despise and perhaps one of the worst protagonist I’ve had the displeasure of playing in a JRPG.
Rean is a whiny insufferable little centrist who believes in literally nothing, wants to get involved with nothing in the story and just accepts whatever comes his way like a good little dog without thinking about his actions or developing a single thought or philosophy of his own… NOT A SINGLE FUCKING TIME. Rean lives in a world drought in conflicts and injustice. A world with a rigid class-system that divides the country he lives in. A country where an elite of people can decide on a whim to start a war on its own people in an attempt to push their domination. A world where a minority of its population have nothing but contempt for the people below and will literally sacrifice civilians to prove their superiority.
And yet, the game insists on painting a morally gray framework on such a basic class-warfare type of conflict with the noble alliance presented as “not entirely in the wrong” except the Noble Alliance does absolutely nothing commendable or justifiable for the entire duration of the game, if anything most of them are random cartoon villains who commits atrocious crimes (that you never get to actually see aside from that ONE time but we’ll get back to that) because of their pettiness and need to push their domination on the masses not just through propaganda but also through literal honest to god warfare !
You can’t get more nazi than the noble alliance and yet Rean will still be like : “Yeah but we shouldn’t interfere, we shouldn’t take a side tho, not all nobles are bad people” and I get that being a noble himself, he doesn’t have the perspective to really refute that status-quo but that’s what character development is for, it’s to make him see the injustice of the world and change his vision and work towards making the world a better place. That ideological nonchalance and hypocrisy isn’t just shared by Rean though, it’s shared by all of his comrades of Class VII who are too busy stroking his One Leaf Blade when they’re not busy being drones with no thoughts or personalities of their own.
Which brings me to my next problem with CS2 storytelling, it’s over-confidence in thinking you care about things. See, in most stories you have a build-up and a pay-off and ideally you’d want both of the ends of that rope to be equally as solid to create a good memorable piece of work. CS2 sadly doesn’t have that luxury and as such needs to ride on the very little highs left by CS1 which they weren’t many. What I mean by this is that CS2 being a sequel is normally a game all about pay-offs.
The entire first act is about reuniting with your long-lost friends and seeing what they’re up to in the turmoil of the war, these moments are meant to be filled with joy and relief at the sight of our friends being ok and fending off for themselves pretty well which on paper is great but since CS1 failed to deliver on any reason to care about these characters you just end up sighing when Machias becomes the first party member to join your party in this game because out of any character you wanted back in your crew, that dude should’ve been left to rot inside his freaking windmill.
And the thing is that the entire game has this sort of warm atmosphere to it but since the characterization was so poor in the first game and also didn’t get better with this sequel and at points even got worse, there’s tons of moments that just fall flat !
For example, there’s a scene in between Act 1 and Act 2 where Rean is having a little moment of self-pity, now that’s also something about Rean that just simply doesn’t work, his inner “demons”. During that scene, which is the culmination of hours of character build-up for the guy and a significant character growth moment, we learn that the reason why Rean protects others to the point of self-sacrifice is because of that one time he killed a bear as a child to save his sister Elise. Since then, he swore to be the baddest, strongest motherfucker around to protect others and … really ?
That’s the reason Rean is such a whiny piss baby boy sometimes because he feels weak for… killing a bear as a child ? Either I’m completely media illiterate and feel free to shit on me in the comment for this or the writers had absolutely no idea how to add flaws to the guy to make him feel more human or relatable. The conclusion to that scene is Alfin (Olivier’s adorable but slightly pedo-baity sister) telling Rean that you know… he’s not just the one protecting others, his friends also protect him because they love him. And then Rean takes that information as a completely shocking turnover realization followed by a text box telling you that you can now transform into Kaneki mode in battle at will now in one of the lamest directed and worst written “character realization” scenes you’ve ever witnessed.
Are you fucking serious ? Are we talking about the guy who is disliked by nobody to the point that any vagina equipped individual in a 100 miles radius of him wants his divine blade inside their baby room going “wait a minute… people … like and care about me ???”. I swear on christ that this isn’t a fucking joke, I’m not making a bit here. It’s been a while since I’ve read or watched any of those “Light Novel” related media but oh my god, I love anime but fucking hell it’s stories like these that make me remember that yeah… anime can also be… that bad.
If you really wanna play on a real flaw the character has, why not play out of the fact that the dude is an indecisive fuck who has so little awareness of himself and the world surrounding him that he can’t pick a side or form a single thought of his own that isn’t “let’s go class vii, we’re gonna do it!” and it could potentially lead to some catastrophic situation down the line.
Rean is such a nothing character such a bland power fantasy schmuck for teenagers to project themselves onto that they relied on the oldest trick in the book by sticking a good old “trauma” to the guy to make him somewhat more relatable, because every kids these days have self-doubt so it’s cool and relatable you know ! It’s cool when the character that exists to be my ideal fantasy also has doubts about himself, he really is just like me ! A random whiny zoomer with no thoughts and no real conflict in their life but still want to pretend they’re making a difference while the only thing they’re good at is changing nothing at all and being a pretentious little shit that need to stay the fuck out of adult space because they have nothing to add to society aside from their ADHD riven rant on basic morality while never acting for the good of anything but the small little problems that only concerns them and them alone.
A problem which is even made worse by the fact Rean has a rivalry with another character, Crow ! Crow in the previous game was revealed to be a terrorist dead-set on killing off Osborne for some misdeed he did to the people of Erebonia and while his reasons for living a life of terror and danger is somewhat justified by his circ…
Wait…
What did you say to me ?
They’re not ?
Oh but of course what did I think, that this was a good game with a good inside political, ideological or philosophical conflict ?
Silly me, I almost thought I could develop empathy for an antagonist in this freaking series. Nah, Crow’s backstory is that his home country got annexed by Chancellor Osborne, not because of a violent cold raid but simply through a simple business manipulation tactic that he won fair and square. His grandpa wasn’t even killed by Osborne directly or indirectly nor did he kill himself off of the guilt of losing their territory to the hands of the Empire. His grandpa simply had to retire and live the rest of his life in regret sure but he simply died of old age at least. Heck, Crow even says it himself, he doesn’t think Osborne is that bad of a guy, he simply killed because he got involved with the wrong people in a moment of his life where he was lost, afraid and unsure about how to live his life… YOU’RE THE LEADER OF A TERRORIST GROUP MY MAN HAVE SOME FUCKING SPINE WOULD YOU ????
He even warns us before dropping his backstory that “his story is just yet another sappy story, don’t mock me please” like Falcom themselves are excusing this sorry attempt at character motivation and backstory.
In fact, why the fuck does Crow and his crew still hang out with the noble alliance and helping them committing atrocious war-crimes, his goals and motivation doesn’t seem to align with the noble alliance and he has already accomplished the goal he set for himself by teaming up with the noble alliance so why the fuck does he still commit warcrimes on account of the Alliance… oh yeah probably to fulfill some dumb prophecy about the war of the lions that the people at Phantom Brigade reject are looking to activate for their stupid anime villain plan.
Kingdom Hearts has a better ambiguously homo-erortic rivalry relationship between an MC and hislover rival and if you’re worse than freaking Kingdom Hearts writing, there’s something severely wrong with you as an author.
But could Crow be any better than this ? Yes of course he could, if he had a rival who actually believed in something but since Rean doesn’t believe in anything but solving only the issues that affect him and his friends I guess we’ll never have the Amuro-Char of the zoomer generation but oh well.
Cold Steel has this tendency to try and make you pretend that you care, it doesn’t actually make you care through clever writing or proper scene direction and good dialogues, it only does it in clichés and a complete lack of talent, that whole section I just mentioned took place during the time where the game literally forces to go talk to every single person on the Noble Alliance ship to try and see the other side and understand their point of view. They never actually show you anything, they just tell you stuff in hopes that you would feel even an ounce of empathy for the people on board except for the fact that the noble alliance has really nothing for them aside from either “Osborne did some mildly bad shit to me back in the day”, being literally hired mercenaries or being Ourobozos which might as well be hired mercenaries but see, they’re only helping because of “THE PLAN” ya know, can’t wait to wait another 30 years or so for these chaotic neutral fucker to boast about how strong and powerful they are and how cool and intriguing their “plan” is… (can you tell I’m just tired of Ouroboros at this point, this game as some new members showing up and I’m not even giving a damn… Oh well… I guess Duvalie is cool).
The game always fails at making you feel for anything in its story, world or characters. The game takes place in the middle of an actual honest to god civil war but you never get to see any of it, the world is mostly unchanged, cities and towns are running pretty much the same as usual except you see a soldier from time to time to remind you that this is a war.
Act 2 of the game in general is this gigantic narrative void where the story goes to a halt and turns into a fetch quest hub of epic proportions where you fly around in your airship left and right to do side-quests, explore the world and kill some superbosses. Pretty much doing anything but progressing the story or exploring the consequences of the war (which aren’t even shown since most cities are just kinda… fine and NPC are not all that bothered by the situation either), nah instead you’ll be finding someone’s horse or find ores to craft a neat sword for your cool robots in a McGuffin hunt that only pads out the game story even more.
Act 2 is neat in concept, having a more open structure inside of a Trails game isn’t something this series is known for but the actual content and things you do in those fetch quest are just boring and doesn’t change from the typical mmo-type shit you’d expect from a shitty modern JRPG and the length of that second act is freaking absurd too which only further emphasize how little actual story the game has when out of a potential 70h game at least 30 of those hours are dedicated to… literally nothing !
Most of the action is taking place on the western front but since Rean and his crew doesn’t wanna fuck with the war, they never actually go there and only take back random places because a friend of them was conveniently placed their to be kidnapped and making Centrist Che Guevera intervene.
Yeah isn’t it strange how Rean and his crew is all about not picking a side and not intervening but all they do since the start of the game is infiltrate military bases, do sabotage and other stuff to mess with the noble alliance which just helps the imperial army anyway.
You can even just run around Imperial Army camps no worry, they’re not antagonistic to Rean’s group, heck your party literally has 2 spies working for the (for now) deformed reformist faction which isn’t even something Rean doesn’t know yet it rarely if ever get brought up during the course of the game. Nothing is here to put into question Rean dumb behavior and position in this war. I just think this is actual insanity, Olivier even gives them the key to a literal warship to just go nuts and do whatever.
There is no nuanced political framing here where one camp is so obviously evil that the game fails so hard to find situations to make you feel that what they do is justified and not every noble is evil…
Which leads me to talk about…
The Celdic Incident
So in the middle of the Act 2 Fetch Quest grind, one of the towns, Celdic, gets destroyed by Jusis’s father, a tragic event that claimed the lives of…
check notes
1 random NPC and a couple of non-important, non-habitable buildings… ?
Well whatever, I can’t believe my man Otto freaking died, they must pay for this ! Quick ! Rean ! Activate your sperging power to find a way to psy-op yourself into intervening yet again without you explicitly making the conscious choice to do it… oh wait ! Rufus the 2nd in command of the army and Jusis’s brother made a call, they need to stop Jusis father because he only did this for himself, not for the noble alliance cause, we don’t actually kill people in the noble alliance… at least not on screen !
Well huh… ok then time to fuck him up !
During that entire time, we get to see noble citizens having nothing but contempt for the low-lives of Celdic because they deserved him and also how dare they put Jusis dad in prison ! He was a good governor ! A true noble at heart (a literal war criminal).
So… are we going to have a scene where Rean reconsider his point of view and realize the system is fucked and promise himself to find ways to change it by casting his outdated system of beliefs and make real progress ?
Well no… but maybe closer to his political alignment he would try to reconcile the two sides or find a compromise, well he can’t do that either because centrists never provide solutions, they just observe, say “well that sucks” and move to the next McGuffin dungeon.
This is the closest CS2 has gotten to portray any consequences of this conflict and yet it still amounts to a footnote at best before moving on to the next section of the game.
For a game that take such obvious cues from FFVI in terms of structure and story setting (with the world being fucked over and our heroes having to gather their forces), they never quite understood what made that part of FFVI so memorable and good to begin with...
In FFVI, the world is dead, it’s destroyed, you start the second half in control of Celes stuck on an island with Cid, an old dude and the closest thing Celes has to a family, you go outside your tent and the world is dead, the music is harrowing with a feint empty wind being heard on the overworld even the random monsters you fight die on their own as even they can’t support the corrosion brought forth by Kefka during his rise to power. You're tasked to go get some food for Cid, something you can actually succeed at but the context of the situation will likely make you lose Cid…
Celes, overtaken by all of her bottled up feelings and anxieties and loosing all hopes commits freaking suicide in a freaking 90’s Super Nintendo game, you miraculously survived and back on the continent by that point the game tells you nothing more and your free to see what remains of the rest of civilization and it’s not pretty, eventually, you get back with Edgar and then Setzer the only 2 other mandatory party member to finish the game and with hopes of defeating Kefka by gathering all your forces the most beautiful Airship theme plays out as you go on a quest to “Search for your friends” !
Everything you can do next aside from taking on the Kefka tower is completely optional but highly recommended if you want the best ending and of course because taking on the Tower with 3 under-leveled character is suicide meaning that all the thing you do in this game is to prepare yourself to defeat Kefka, no matter how innocuous the activity may be. When you meet your party members back it’s not just a sappy reunion, it’s more complex, most of the characters are still carrying over the traumas of the days the world wasn’t completely fuck and they now need to find a new place in this new fucked up reality while dealing with the remnants of the demons of their past and grow as persons all of this leading up to your confrontation with Kefka.
Heck, nothing state in the game that taking on Kefka will magically heal the planet, Kefka already won, it would take years for civilization to rebuild itself, you’re just taking one burden off of the people on Earth, it’s an ending that is equally as bittersweet as it is hopeful GOD I LOVE FFVI SO FUCKING MUCH !
NOW THAT’S A GAME THAT USES ITS STRUCTURE AND GAMEPLAY LOOP IN COMPLEMENT OF THE STORY ! NOW THAT’S A GAME THAT USES THE UNIQUE TOOL OF THE MEDIUM OF VIDEO GAME TO TELL A POIGNANT STORY THROUGH A COMBINATION OF MUSIC, DIRECTION, GRAPHICS, MECHANICS TO MAKE YOU FEEL SHIT FOR THE CHARACTERS AND THE FATE OF THE FUCKING WORLD ! NO TIME WAS WASTE HERE, EVERYTHING FUCKING MATTER AND THE CHARACTERS ACTUALLY DO STUFF TO MAKE THE WORLD BETTER AND MOST OF IT IS TECHNICALLY OPTIONAL SHIT BUT WHO CARES YOU WANT TO DO EVERYTHING AND YOU’LL MISS OUT ON STUFF BUT THAT’S OKAY IT’LL MAKE YOUR NEXT PLAYTHROUGH MORE INTERESTING AAAAAAAAAAAH
SEE FALCOM ? THAT’S WHAT YOUR STUPID VIDEO GAME LACK ! IT LACKS AMBITION, IT LACKS FINESSE, IT LACKS ALL OF THAT SHIT YOU STUPID MONGREL HOW DARE YOU EVEN TRY TO EVEN ATTEMPT AND PRETEND TO COPY FF VI WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN REACH 1/100th OF ITS BRILLIANCE WITH QUINTUPLE THE RUN TIME AND A BIGGER SCRIPT THAN IT HUH ???
Hey you wanna know what all that stupid fucking fetchquesting leads toward the reconquering of Trista, you know the hub-town from the first game ? That’s an exciting moment the entire game has built toward I wonder how it i-
ITS ASS
The army just… leaves for no reason and task the hostages (?????) to run the school and keep it under control, so Rean and friends take on this occasion to go there and low and behold, the noble hostages just confront Rean.
“But this is pointless ?”
“Yeah we know, but we still need to fight because pride of the nobles or some shit”
So you do a boss fight that had literally zero reason for happening and then everyone nods, the hostages were actually fine the whole time and it was just a playful fisticuff for the older students and… Trista is taken back… ending act 2 on a very anticlimactic note…
Hope you enjoyed the 35 or so hours you wasted on Act 2 that lead to this…
The game… really doesn’t give a fuck… it’s insane, there was zero effort put into the actual story.
Yeah sure, you still have Falcom sense of details in NPC dialogues and books but… not the main fucking story, it’s just… wild as shit to me I can’t even begin to process how much this game doesn’t give a fuck and constantly cucks you from experiencing a little catharsis.
It just doesn’t care, even the neat idea of making this game set during the same time as Azure is just an after-thought and the conclusion to that leads almost fucking nowhere and impacts the story very little.
This nonchalance not only translate during the story but even boss-fight, most boss-fight you win in this game by the skin of your teeth (that is a joke, the game is Press Laura to win what did you expect), your characters are on their knees, the boss is going “mmph, that’s all you got ?” then you get your glory stolen by the adult cast which are all way cooler and way stronger than you, you’ve been doing all the heavy lifting but at the end of the day, you guys are just a bunch of students heh ?
I get that this is part of the series to make you understand that the MC will never be the strongest dude around and there’s so many people equally as strong if not more but it wasn’t so in your fucking face before and to lead to something so anticlimatic…
Heck the ending of the game ends on a barely moving death scene (aaaw) followed by the big revelation ! OSBORNE IS BACK AHAHAHA…
Wait a minute…
But we already know that from Azure ?
Wait a minute…
The game just reveals shit to us that we already knew ?
So all of this was for nothing ????
Anyway, Osborne comes tells Rean that he is his real father and then look at Ourogoonos and tell them to fuck off while stealing their plan like a chad because he planned this entire war on himself this entire time to turn Rean into a national icon for his newly establish fascist ethnostate.
Rean of course… agrees to participate in doing warcrimes for the reformist because… well huh… gotta help daddy I guess ???
Look fuck this game
And like a bad joke, it even keeps going after the credit because you thought the final chapter was the final chapter ? Well no you dumb fuck, there’s 2 MORE EPILOGUE CHAPTER
One is … legitimately the only good part of the game because you get to play as Lloyd and Rixia ! OH MAN I MISS PLAYING AS ACTUAL PEOPLE IN THIS GAME THANK GOD ! AND YOU EVEN GET THE CHANCE TO KICK REAN’S ASS WITH LLOYD FUCKING BANNING 10/10 GAME ON FUCKING GOD !!!!
Followed by several hours of the worst fucking final dungeon you’ve ever played through.
Yeah in the last chapter of the game, you go through a randomly generated multi-floor dungeon where you fight recycled bosses from the main game AND a swap color of the final boss of the first game who literally tells you that doing this dungeon… was actually pointless, he literally says it verbatum, I’m not making this up ! Gotta love Falcom’s brand of cheeky humour ahahaha…
I kneel Kondo, I really am kneeling hard, one last final goodbye to the cast and …
OH NO FUCK OFF KONDO ! WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO PLAY ON NG+ TO GET IMPORTANT LORE FOR THE NEXT ENTRY WHAT THE FUCK MAN WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD THIS GAME SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS
RAAAAAAAAAAAGH THIS GAME SUCKS
So you’re probably wondering why I’m ranking this slightly higher than CS1 well…
For 2 reasons :
Witnessing a story failing at everything it sets out to do in marvelous over the top fashion is somewhat entertaining in its own twisted kind of way
As mentioned earlier, I like what this game does structurally compared to the rest of the franchise (any game where you get to fuck around in an airship and built up an home base by recruiting people has a few more points in my book) and even the dungeon design has seen a significant improvement that I hope to see come to fruition in the rest of the series so there’s that.
CS1 was literally just “white noise : the video game”, homework to do to experience true gaming in the sequel and I must admit that at least CS2 didn’t commit the sinful crime of making me bored to death, there’s definitely a good game buried under all of this trashy nonsense…
But you won’t find it here…
Which leaves me to my conclusion…
Why would you play this ? Yeah the obvious answer is to experience the next chapter in the epic Trails saga, especially if you’re a fan or a masochist like me looking to satiate my curiosity but in general… Why ?
The few good things that CS2 does and heck even what it’s trying to do story wise are things you have likely seen done better in other titles some of which I’d consider true work of art worthy of your attention. Trails is being championed left and right as this life-changing franchise but all I get almost everytime are some average at best game with good ideas and good feelings behind them… But CS1 and CS2 only exacerbated the problem with this franchise, I actually now regret to have been so harsh towards Azure or SC because man, at least they tried, Cold Steel is just chasing trend, taking ideas and throwing them at a wall to see what sticks and if they could bait out the fishies with some good old waifu war.
But if it was only the anime bullshit, it’s also a mediocre attempt at political commentary ? I guess ? Even ideologically speaking, this game is spineless to the point of no return and is constantly trying to sound and look smarter than it actually looks but doesn’t have the balls or the shoulders to carry the boats and the logs ! The writing team behind this game must’ve felt so fucking proud for this last plotwist !
“Hey guess what it’s actually about how centrism is bad because it helped the bad guy !” and it could’ve been almost clever except it’s not and even after that revelation, Rean continues to be a good puppy dog with no spine, no thoughts, no choice no freaking nothing god I hate that character.
So yeah gameplay aside which sucks anyway, there’s the structure and yeah, it’s fun, I must admit I wasn’t completely bored playing this. But… is it really enough ?
If I wanted to play a poor’s man Persona, I’d play Persona
If I wanted to play a game with heavy political writing and a complex nuanced geopolitical setting, I’d play any Matsuno game
If I wanted a game about going around the world to gather people and grew my forces by doing tons of side-content, I’d play FFVI
If I wanted both of the previous statements, I’d play Suikoden which also has the benefit to be like Trails with each entry building off of the previous game in cool ways like .hack did too and those games are also damn good.
Heck I’d even throw Chained Echoes a modern indie RPG that did all of what I just said aside from Persona way better than what CS2 did
Heck if I wanted to play a series with a rich lore to chew on and a solid continuity with charming characters and humors, creative gameplay systems and some surprisingly insightful and dare I’d say ballsy attempt at delivering political messages
I’d play fucking Rance, yes… Rance, an actual honest to god porn game with the most reprehensible protagonist and content in existence but which has more heart and soul poured into it than anything I’ve ever played in my life.
I’d rather fully admit to being a degenerate and a Kingdom Hearts fan (which I am… I know… shocking) than playing Cold Steel 1 or 2 !
CS1 and CS2 are just a copout answer to a regular game recommendation, a good person will direct you to the good restaurant but the weirdoe cultist member who only knows the confine of his cult temple since childhood will tell you that you never eat better than at Veggietales.
Heck by the the time it took me between finishing the game last month and writing this shitass review, FFXVI came out and it had many similarities to Cold Steel especially in terms of structure, pacing and quest design (and not in a good way if you ask me) but by god, after playing FFXVI, CS2 barely was thought at the back of my head, it’s like a version of CS2 that actually worked, with an interesting story, a war setting that takes itself seriously, a badass anarchist hero and some seriously kick ass boss fight that is humanity pilled as fuck.
CS2 was a fascinatingly bad experience and I can’t believe I’m too deep enough into this shit to not hop on CS3 and … CS4 (that one seems to smell some exquisite taste of ass that I just can’t wait to experience)
So TL;DR : Play FFXVI, it’s on PS5 right now and it’s fucking awesome and Clive uses Rean’s asshole as an onahole anytime of the day
Previously, in my journey through
In response to such vitriolic hatred for what is essentially a very mediocre bargain bin RPG of the week, my friends quickly responded to me with the following statement : “If you think CS1 is bad, I can’t wait for you to try the 2nd one, it’ll make you think it was actually a masterpiece” which instead of dissuading me from continuing on with the franchise actually got me curious about what that might entail.
You see, Trails of Cold Steel 2 had a bit of a rocky development history. Around 2012, the PS Vita was slowly but surely put on the front as the successor to the PSP, Falcom just went through what could be considered their 2nd golden age with the PSP with a wide variety of titles across both PSP and PC a lot of action-rpg of course since it was until recently their main activity as game devs but also the Trails series which was picking up some speed, so much so that the fabled “Zwei 3” was instead released as “Nayuta No Kiseki” to profit off of the Kiseki brand (a fruitless effort since it was one of the last RPG on the PSP and by that point people have already moved on to other things).
This transitional period was a bit rough for Falcom which had two big projects for the PS Vita, the first one was “Ys : Memories of Celceta” a (bad) remake of Ys IV and of course the next entry in the Kiseki series aka “Trails of Cold Steel”. However, in a moment of extreme “lucidity”, Toshihiro Kondo asked the team at Falcom to develop the game for both the PS Vita and the Playstation 3, marking the first time Falcom has worked on a a game for home console since the mid 2000’s (if you can count porting Ys VI on PS2 as making a console game).
This of course lead to a lot of undesired results, the game was a buggy mess on release with tons of issues running on both platforms and on top of that they had to cut corner everywhere because Cold Steel was simply becoming too ambitious for the studio to reasonably finish it in time, but no worries because they just decided to cut the last hours of the game and release it later as its own standalone experience. What was supposed to be one game probably followed by one more sequel like the Crossbell saga became a 4 game long epic separated into 2 sub-arc each, of which Cold Steel 2 was the second half of that first arc (yeah it’s a bit complicated to follow, I swear I’m trying my best here).
So what exactly is Trails of Cold Steel 2 ? Well imagine if you took the second half of Final Fantasy VI and made it an entire 70h game instead because for some reasons Falcom decided that it would be a brilliant idea to do the “Search for your friends'' bit from FFVI again making it the third time this has happened in the series and I really must ask myself.
“Does Falcom think we wouldn’t notice they’re just shamelessly recycling ideas from other titles AND themselves ?” Well perhaps.
But I don’t really mind, if it’s done well, it could still save itself from the plagiarism allegations and besides the series has its own set of quirks to compensate (for better or for worse).
I’m sorry in advance if this review is gonna be shorter than the previous one (post edit note : this is a lie) because honestly my thoughts on this game are not nearly as intense, most of what was bad about CS1 still carries over from CS2 there’s very little change between the two titles, it is for the most part a straight continuation of what was done previously and that’s gonna be the main bulk of the issue.
Because the foundations that CS1 established were so weak to begin with, it was really hard to get invested into what CS2 wanted to tell me with its story. One thing that I will say CS2 has over CS1 is that the story is a bit more “engaging”, it’s less about experiencing slice-of-life moments between the most boring RPG party you’ve ever interacted with and more so about following a terrible mess of a story that would make Nomura’s writing seem sensible in comparison.
I guess I’ll get the gameplay out of the way first since there’s a few new additions, the battle system remains almost exactly the same as CS1 with the little addition of the “overdrive” gauge, if you’ve read my review of Azure I’ve explained that this game had something called a “burst” gauge which could unleash a massive boost on your characters abilities, getting them priority moves, let them cast spell cost-free and acting as an emergency heal button on top of that, pretty much the “fuck shit up button”. Well overdrive is more or less the same except instead of acting for the entire party, it acts only for the two characters that are linked together on the field and also only acts for three turns instead of dropping down based on your actions.
This small addition is welcome and definitely make battles a little bit more dynamic but it still a very feeble addition with the only real strategic use being to buff your party very very quickly (and the main reason why I used Jusis way more often this time around) during boss fight to more quickly dispatch of them in one hit thanks to Laura aka “What if we turned One Punch Man into a party member” s-craft.
Because yeah, unsurprisingly, the game balance here is even more awful than it was in CS1. Again, I've played the game on normal like with all the other entries but here it almost felt like I was cheating the game and I probably should’ve upped the difficulty to give the game any semblance of challenge. The reason why the game balance is so bad here is because you retain most of your broken crafts and stats from the previous game, since this game acts more like a 2nd disc than a sequel. This means that you start the early game with what were end-game abilities.
It’s nothing new in the series mind you but here since the game is so craft-centric and they didn’t even bother to nerf your crafts like Azure did coming off of Zero, it makes the early, mid and endgame stupidly easy, heck the second you obtain the “Domination” quartz which doubles the damage output of any attack/crafts/s-craft first used in battle, you can pretty much destroy any bosses in one-hit with a turboboosted Laura.
Which further emphasizes how the changes made to the orbment system to make it more accessible/straightforward only made the game battle system a complete mess and while it is fun to break the game in half, it doesn’t necessarily make for an engaging combat system for more than 70 or so hours. Some fights required a bit more strategy like the cryptids which are superbosses scattered across the map but even then, it’s often not that deep either.
But now on top of the regular battle system, you have GIANT MECH FIGHTS !
Those were already featured in the last 20 minutes or so of CS1 but here they are more present, punctuating or sometimes concluding big stretches of the main story for spectacle purposes and while they definitely do a good job at making me hype thanks to the music and the presence of giant robots and all of the implications surrounding their existences on the battlefield, the actual gameplay is a bit rough… but if I’m being perfectly honest, I’ve rarely seen any RPG 100% nailing mech combats so I’m not gonna hold it against the game for not perfecting the formula.
The fights are just a guessing game where you have to hit your target in specific areas of their body, that part changing depending on the stance they’re having, a pretty interesting concept bogged down by the fact it’s never obvious what part of the body becomes the weak point and that even if you do hit the weak point, you don’t have a 100% chance of breaking the opponents guards, meaning the best strategy to win most fight is to put yourself in counter stance and let the game break the guards for you. There’s definitely room to improve those fights, they’re a nice little distraction from the mundanity of the main combat system but they definitely need some tweaking to be more engaging and less gimmicky.
Now that we got the most minimal change out of the way first, let’s talk about the actual big ass elephant in the room which is, you guessed it, the story !
CS1 was meant to be an introduction to the world of Erebonia but if you go back and read my review of it, you will quickly notice that this introduction was not only lackluster but also presented in the least engaging way possible. From long drawn-out info dumps dropped in the worst places, the repetitive, dull and predictable structure of its chapter based narrative, its bland and shallow characters I ended up having little to no attachment to by the end of the game and of course a confused mess of a main political conflict backed up by Kondo’s new weird obsession with centrism and faux gray morality and complete misunderstanding of basic concept such as class warfare and the separation of power.
Out of all the 90+ hours it took me to finish CS1 only the ending portion was of any significant interest because that’s where the game started to have an heavier atmosphere with soon to be child soldiers dreading the very real possibility to be drafted and of course the introduction of the big giant mechs introduced earlier as well as the heel turn of one of our party member Crow who is somewhat of a rival to Rean in this game in a kinda Amuro-Char kinda way (which is equally as gay but not equally as good as that aforementioned dynamic).
We start the story in the mountain range separated from all of our comrades with an understandably distraught Rean crying over the potential loss of his friends and after a quick walk in the area, you get saved by your sister Elise who welcomes you to your hometown of Ymir.
Ymir which by the way is a place the team have already visited in CS1 and even fought an Ouroboros member one time, don't you remember it ? Of course you don’t because it was a chapter that was completely absent from the original game instead being repurposed as a freaking Drama CD and let’s be frank, nobody ever in the history of forever listens to those.
After an altercation with the local Ouroboros super bad guy working for the newly established “Noble Alliance” who acts as the main antagonistic force in this game, your sister and the princess of the country gets kidnapped so now Rean has to gather all of his comrades thanks to his giant robots convenient teleportation magic ability.
One thing I appreciate about CS2 compared to CS1 is how the game decides to shake up the core structure of a Trails game, not by much of course but enough to be noticeable. Instead of the game being separated in chapters, this time the game is separated into 3 acts, meaning the narration and overall game structure can be little more free form and if the first act is pretty straightforward (gathering your friends by revisiting previous areas), the 2nd act decides to do something that is in part interesting from a game design aspect but also terrible from a story pacing perspective.
See CS2 was originally meant to be the last 10 hours of the original game, this game’s final act and the entire game pretty much feels like one drawn out quest to gather up your forces and take on the bad guy which I guess is fine if like for Azure it’s the last arc of an otherwise pretty long and substantial game but here, you quickly come to realize that CS2 really struggles to fill its gametime with meaningful story content somehow even more so than the original game which was mostly about nothing.
But the few story bits there are, are in fact a bit more substantial, I just wish that they were actually good.
Starting with the character writing.
It’s no surprise that I value good characters in my stories and the first game completely failed at making me care about the massive cast of playable characters it had. But the Kiseki series is a long series of games with a solid sense of continuity and usually can surprise me with the way they shake things up and manage to make me care about characters I didn’t truly have any reason to give a shit about in the sequel.
But sadly, CS2 manages to somehow fuck up that aspect beyond belief, none and I mean NONE of the characters aside from the main protagonist goes through any form of development, arcs or anything of the sort during the course of the main story. The only character in this game that approaches something even resembling a character arc is Jusis and it just isn’t a good arc whatsoever. It’s an arc about having to come to terms with his family's shitty actions and fight for himself and what he believes in, pretty standard stuff and honestly not handled super well because of something about this game story I will develop in a minute.
Any semblance of characterization or even minuscule amount of development these characters are contained almost exclusively within their bonding events which means that for some reason, the developers thought that something as basic as character writing should be given to the discretion of the player and be completely optional and missable contents !
Alisa or Machias could be the most 10/10 characters to ever grace the medium and I will still have nothing to say about them because I didn’t focus on them at all when allocating bonding points and I certainly wasn’t going to save scum to see all character events which often times can be up to fucking FIFTEEN AT EACH CHAPTER TRANSITIONS. This design philosophy is not only completely asinine but also completely antithetical to the idea of good character writing or just good writing in a video game in general.
Since my love for these characters have been almost non-existent, I had little to no desire to learn more about them and if they wanted me to care, they should’ve given me something to chew on outside of this pathetic excuse of a social link system which completely misunderstood the appeal of such a system from a game which itself already had issues balancing it correctly, but at least Persona feels somewhat competent in the uses of such mechanics, CS1 and even more so CS2 are embarrassingly bad with their take on it.
It’s not even like the bonding events are all that good either, the ones I’ve focused on mostly for gameplay reasons (focusing on characters I actively use in battle for stat boosting rather than because I’m interested in them) have been for the most part barebones, bland and uninteresting.
How come a character like Laura even get past the conceptualization process, all of her bonding events involves her either talking about swords, swinging a sword or philosophizing about… you guessed it SWORDS. Her entire personality and arc revolves around the idea that she’s a swordswoman like she’s a knight class character from some 80’s RPG on the freaking NES and those usually didn’t TALK about their job so goddamn much.
And you can apply this to pretty much any characters in your party, somehow the development team sat at a table and probably pinned drawings of the characters on a white board and then glued sticky notes on them with random words and said “yeup that’s going to be the whole character !”.
Millium is a literal super-spy working for the government but all of your interactions with her will be about cooking stuff and generally be the resident pedo-bait character because this is yet again a very self-indulgent japanese RPG aimed at teenagers or creepy weirdos with reprehensible fetishes.
Emma literally is a walking plot device, her entire character can be summed up as “I knew about it but I didn’t tell you because of my secret mission as a witch” and then bla bla bla exposition and self-pitying about having to hide shit from us, weirdly enough that makes her the most relevant character in the story because she’s pretty much the spokesperson for all of the random lore shit the game plot gravitates around during certain key point of the narrative and she’s also related directly to one of the main antagonist and resident Team Galaxy Admin : Vita Clotilde, a witch that can manipulate people through her singing.
I could go on and on about the characters in this game but really who cares, if the game doesn’t even make the bare minimum to make them interesting or likable, why should I make efforts trying to analyze and discuss them in the first place.
They had two 70-90 hours worth of gametime to do so and they failed miserably so fuck it fr.
HECK EVEN TOWA, THE ONE CHARACTER I LIKE IN THIS DUOLOGY DOESN’T HAVE ANY MEAT TO HER BONES IN THIS ONE, I’ve still defaulted to her for continuity reasons (which further emphasize how dumb that bonding system is in a game series with a supposed one true canon) and because I like her the most but Jesus Christ they even managed to not make me care as much about the only character I had even the slightest of attachment to in this cast.
Which leaves us with our homeboy, our hero, our guy, our light at the end of the tunnel, our shining beacon of hope and righteousness ! Our Protagonist, Rean Schwarzer !
In the original game, Rean was… not that interesting, he was a rather bland, uninteresting character that I didn’t have much attachment or even strong opinion about, he was generic but I guess that in a world full of walking anime clichés passing off as real human being, he fitted in as a player stand-in and blank slate.
That’s not to say he had nothing to his name in the original, we saw the beginning of his self doubt and self-pity linked to an ever consuming desire to protect others oftentimes prioritizing the well-being of others before his own. We also had some hints about his inner powers, like how he can go beast-mode sometimes and have cool white-hair like the dude from Tokyo Ghoul (do people still care about Tokyo Ghoul ?). And lastly, he’s an awakener, one of seven chosen ones (to which we only see 2 of them) who can control the fabled Divine Knights, powerful ancient machines that can do cool magic robot things (and I’ll admit that Valimar’s design is pretty sick !).
But it’s in this game that Rean finally come into his own as a proper character and let me tell you, I wish he kept his mouth shut because Rean went from a character I was completely indifferent towards in the first game to one I actively fucking despise and perhaps one of the worst protagonist I’ve had the displeasure of playing in a JRPG.
Rean is a whiny insufferable little centrist who believes in literally nothing, wants to get involved with nothing in the story and just accepts whatever comes his way like a good little dog without thinking about his actions or developing a single thought or philosophy of his own… NOT A SINGLE FUCKING TIME. Rean lives in a world drought in conflicts and injustice. A world with a rigid class-system that divides the country he lives in. A country where an elite of people can decide on a whim to start a war on its own people in an attempt to push their domination. A world where a minority of its population have nothing but contempt for the people below and will literally sacrifice civilians to prove their superiority.
And yet, the game insists on painting a morally gray framework on such a basic class-warfare type of conflict with the noble alliance presented as “not entirely in the wrong” except the Noble Alliance does absolutely nothing commendable or justifiable for the entire duration of the game, if anything most of them are random cartoon villains who commits atrocious crimes (that you never get to actually see aside from that ONE time but we’ll get back to that) because of their pettiness and need to push their domination on the masses not just through propaganda but also through literal honest to god warfare !
You can’t get more nazi than the noble alliance and yet Rean will still be like : “Yeah but we shouldn’t interfere, we shouldn’t take a side tho, not all nobles are bad people” and I get that being a noble himself, he doesn’t have the perspective to really refute that status-quo but that’s what character development is for, it’s to make him see the injustice of the world and change his vision and work towards making the world a better place. That ideological nonchalance and hypocrisy isn’t just shared by Rean though, it’s shared by all of his comrades of Class VII who are too busy stroking his One Leaf Blade when they’re not busy being drones with no thoughts or personalities of their own.
Which brings me to my next problem with CS2 storytelling, it’s over-confidence in thinking you care about things. See, in most stories you have a build-up and a pay-off and ideally you’d want both of the ends of that rope to be equally as solid to create a good memorable piece of work. CS2 sadly doesn’t have that luxury and as such needs to ride on the very little highs left by CS1 which they weren’t many. What I mean by this is that CS2 being a sequel is normally a game all about pay-offs.
The entire first act is about reuniting with your long-lost friends and seeing what they’re up to in the turmoil of the war, these moments are meant to be filled with joy and relief at the sight of our friends being ok and fending off for themselves pretty well which on paper is great but since CS1 failed to deliver on any reason to care about these characters you just end up sighing when Machias becomes the first party member to join your party in this game because out of any character you wanted back in your crew, that dude should’ve been left to rot inside his freaking windmill.
And the thing is that the entire game has this sort of warm atmosphere to it but since the characterization was so poor in the first game and also didn’t get better with this sequel and at points even got worse, there’s tons of moments that just fall flat !
For example, there’s a scene in between Act 1 and Act 2 where Rean is having a little moment of self-pity, now that’s also something about Rean that just simply doesn’t work, his inner “demons”. During that scene, which is the culmination of hours of character build-up for the guy and a significant character growth moment, we learn that the reason why Rean protects others to the point of self-sacrifice is because of that one time he killed a bear as a child to save his sister Elise. Since then, he swore to be the baddest, strongest motherfucker around to protect others and … really ?
That’s the reason Rean is such a whiny piss baby boy sometimes because he feels weak for… killing a bear as a child ? Either I’m completely media illiterate and feel free to shit on me in the comment for this or the writers had absolutely no idea how to add flaws to the guy to make him feel more human or relatable. The conclusion to that scene is Alfin (Olivier’s adorable but slightly pedo-baity sister) telling Rean that you know… he’s not just the one protecting others, his friends also protect him because they love him. And then Rean takes that information as a completely shocking turnover realization followed by a text box telling you that you can now transform into Kaneki mode in battle at will now in one of the lamest directed and worst written “character realization” scenes you’ve ever witnessed.
Are you fucking serious ? Are we talking about the guy who is disliked by nobody to the point that any vagina equipped individual in a 100 miles radius of him wants his divine blade inside their baby room going “wait a minute… people … like and care about me ???”. I swear on christ that this isn’t a fucking joke, I’m not making a bit here. It’s been a while since I’ve read or watched any of those “Light Novel” related media but oh my god, I love anime but fucking hell it’s stories like these that make me remember that yeah… anime can also be… that bad.
If you really wanna play on a real flaw the character has, why not play out of the fact that the dude is an indecisive fuck who has so little awareness of himself and the world surrounding him that he can’t pick a side or form a single thought of his own that isn’t “let’s go class vii, we’re gonna do it!” and it could potentially lead to some catastrophic situation down the line.
Rean is such a nothing character such a bland power fantasy schmuck for teenagers to project themselves onto that they relied on the oldest trick in the book by sticking a good old “trauma” to the guy to make him somewhat more relatable, because every kids these days have self-doubt so it’s cool and relatable you know ! It’s cool when the character that exists to be my ideal fantasy also has doubts about himself, he really is just like me ! A random whiny zoomer with no thoughts and no real conflict in their life but still want to pretend they’re making a difference while the only thing they’re good at is changing nothing at all and being a pretentious little shit that need to stay the fuck out of adult space because they have nothing to add to society aside from their ADHD riven rant on basic morality while never acting for the good of anything but the small little problems that only concerns them and them alone.
A problem which is even made worse by the fact Rean has a rivalry with another character, Crow ! Crow in the previous game was revealed to be a terrorist dead-set on killing off Osborne for some misdeed he did to the people of Erebonia and while his reasons for living a life of terror and danger is somewhat justified by his circ…
Wait…
What did you say to me ?
They’re not ?
Oh but of course what did I think, that this was a good game with a good inside political, ideological or philosophical conflict ?
Silly me, I almost thought I could develop empathy for an antagonist in this freaking series. Nah, Crow’s backstory is that his home country got annexed by Chancellor Osborne, not because of a violent cold raid but simply through a simple business manipulation tactic that he won fair and square. His grandpa wasn’t even killed by Osborne directly or indirectly nor did he kill himself off of the guilt of losing their territory to the hands of the Empire. His grandpa simply had to retire and live the rest of his life in regret sure but he simply died of old age at least. Heck, Crow even says it himself, he doesn’t think Osborne is that bad of a guy, he simply killed because he got involved with the wrong people in a moment of his life where he was lost, afraid and unsure about how to live his life… YOU’RE THE LEADER OF A TERRORIST GROUP MY MAN HAVE SOME FUCKING SPINE WOULD YOU ????
He even warns us before dropping his backstory that “his story is just yet another sappy story, don’t mock me please” like Falcom themselves are excusing this sorry attempt at character motivation and backstory.
In fact, why the fuck does Crow and his crew still hang out with the noble alliance and helping them committing atrocious war-crimes, his goals and motivation doesn’t seem to align with the noble alliance and he has already accomplished the goal he set for himself by teaming up with the noble alliance so why the fuck does he still commit warcrimes on account of the Alliance… oh yeah probably to fulfill some dumb prophecy about the war of the lions that the people at Phantom Brigade reject are looking to activate for their stupid anime villain plan.
Kingdom Hearts has a better ambiguously homo-erortic rivalry relationship between an MC and his
But could Crow be any better than this ? Yes of course he could, if he had a rival who actually believed in something but since Rean doesn’t believe in anything but solving only the issues that affect him and his friends I guess we’ll never have the Amuro-Char of the zoomer generation but oh well.
Cold Steel has this tendency to try and make you pretend that you care, it doesn’t actually make you care through clever writing or proper scene direction and good dialogues, it only does it in clichés and a complete lack of talent, that whole section I just mentioned took place during the time where the game literally forces to go talk to every single person on the Noble Alliance ship to try and see the other side and understand their point of view. They never actually show you anything, they just tell you stuff in hopes that you would feel even an ounce of empathy for the people on board except for the fact that the noble alliance has really nothing for them aside from either “Osborne did some mildly bad shit to me back in the day”, being literally hired mercenaries or being Ourobozos which might as well be hired mercenaries but see, they’re only helping because of “THE PLAN” ya know, can’t wait to wait another 30 years or so for these chaotic neutral fucker to boast about how strong and powerful they are and how cool and intriguing their “plan” is… (can you tell I’m just tired of Ouroboros at this point, this game as some new members showing up and I’m not even giving a damn… Oh well… I guess Duvalie is cool).
The game always fails at making you feel for anything in its story, world or characters. The game takes place in the middle of an actual honest to god civil war but you never get to see any of it, the world is mostly unchanged, cities and towns are running pretty much the same as usual except you see a soldier from time to time to remind you that this is a war.
Act 2 of the game in general is this gigantic narrative void where the story goes to a halt and turns into a fetch quest hub of epic proportions where you fly around in your airship left and right to do side-quests, explore the world and kill some superbosses. Pretty much doing anything but progressing the story or exploring the consequences of the war (which aren’t even shown since most cities are just kinda… fine and NPC are not all that bothered by the situation either), nah instead you’ll be finding someone’s horse or find ores to craft a neat sword for your cool robots in a McGuffin hunt that only pads out the game story even more.
Act 2 is neat in concept, having a more open structure inside of a Trails game isn’t something this series is known for but the actual content and things you do in those fetch quest are just boring and doesn’t change from the typical mmo-type shit you’d expect from a shitty modern JRPG and the length of that second act is freaking absurd too which only further emphasize how little actual story the game has when out of a potential 70h game at least 30 of those hours are dedicated to… literally nothing !
Most of the action is taking place on the western front but since Rean and his crew doesn’t wanna fuck with the war, they never actually go there and only take back random places because a friend of them was conveniently placed their to be kidnapped and making Centrist Che Guevera intervene.
Yeah isn’t it strange how Rean and his crew is all about not picking a side and not intervening but all they do since the start of the game is infiltrate military bases, do sabotage and other stuff to mess with the noble alliance which just helps the imperial army anyway.
You can even just run around Imperial Army camps no worry, they’re not antagonistic to Rean’s group, heck your party literally has 2 spies working for the (for now) deformed reformist faction which isn’t even something Rean doesn’t know yet it rarely if ever get brought up during the course of the game. Nothing is here to put into question Rean dumb behavior and position in this war. I just think this is actual insanity, Olivier even gives them the key to a literal warship to just go nuts and do whatever.
There is no nuanced political framing here where one camp is so obviously evil that the game fails so hard to find situations to make you feel that what they do is justified and not every noble is evil…
Which leads me to talk about…
The Celdic Incident
So in the middle of the Act 2 Fetch Quest grind, one of the towns, Celdic, gets destroyed by Jusis’s father, a tragic event that claimed the lives of…
check notes
1 random NPC and a couple of non-important, non-habitable buildings… ?
Well whatever, I can’t believe my man Otto freaking died, they must pay for this ! Quick ! Rean ! Activate your sperging power to find a way to psy-op yourself into intervening yet again without you explicitly making the conscious choice to do it… oh wait ! Rufus the 2nd in command of the army and Jusis’s brother made a call, they need to stop Jusis father because he only did this for himself, not for the noble alliance cause, we don’t actually kill people in the noble alliance… at least not on screen !
Well huh… ok then time to fuck him up !
During that entire time, we get to see noble citizens having nothing but contempt for the low-lives of Celdic because they deserved him and also how dare they put Jusis dad in prison ! He was a good governor ! A true noble at heart (a literal war criminal).
So… are we going to have a scene where Rean reconsider his point of view and realize the system is fucked and promise himself to find ways to change it by casting his outdated system of beliefs and make real progress ?
Well no… but maybe closer to his political alignment he would try to reconcile the two sides or find a compromise, well he can’t do that either because centrists never provide solutions, they just observe, say “well that sucks” and move to the next McGuffin dungeon.
This is the closest CS2 has gotten to portray any consequences of this conflict and yet it still amounts to a footnote at best before moving on to the next section of the game.
For a game that take such obvious cues from FFVI in terms of structure and story setting (with the world being fucked over and our heroes having to gather their forces), they never quite understood what made that part of FFVI so memorable and good to begin with...
In FFVI, the world is dead, it’s destroyed, you start the second half in control of Celes stuck on an island with Cid, an old dude and the closest thing Celes has to a family, you go outside your tent and the world is dead, the music is harrowing with a feint empty wind being heard on the overworld even the random monsters you fight die on their own as even they can’t support the corrosion brought forth by Kefka during his rise to power. You're tasked to go get some food for Cid, something you can actually succeed at but the context of the situation will likely make you lose Cid…
Celes, overtaken by all of her bottled up feelings and anxieties and loosing all hopes commits freaking suicide in a freaking 90’s Super Nintendo game, you miraculously survived and back on the continent by that point the game tells you nothing more and your free to see what remains of the rest of civilization and it’s not pretty, eventually, you get back with Edgar and then Setzer the only 2 other mandatory party member to finish the game and with hopes of defeating Kefka by gathering all your forces the most beautiful Airship theme plays out as you go on a quest to “Search for your friends” !
Everything you can do next aside from taking on the Kefka tower is completely optional but highly recommended if you want the best ending and of course because taking on the Tower with 3 under-leveled character is suicide meaning that all the thing you do in this game is to prepare yourself to defeat Kefka, no matter how innocuous the activity may be. When you meet your party members back it’s not just a sappy reunion, it’s more complex, most of the characters are still carrying over the traumas of the days the world wasn’t completely fuck and they now need to find a new place in this new fucked up reality while dealing with the remnants of the demons of their past and grow as persons all of this leading up to your confrontation with Kefka.
Heck, nothing state in the game that taking on Kefka will magically heal the planet, Kefka already won, it would take years for civilization to rebuild itself, you’re just taking one burden off of the people on Earth, it’s an ending that is equally as bittersweet as it is hopeful GOD I LOVE FFVI SO FUCKING MUCH !
NOW THAT’S A GAME THAT USES ITS STRUCTURE AND GAMEPLAY LOOP IN COMPLEMENT OF THE STORY ! NOW THAT’S A GAME THAT USES THE UNIQUE TOOL OF THE MEDIUM OF VIDEO GAME TO TELL A POIGNANT STORY THROUGH A COMBINATION OF MUSIC, DIRECTION, GRAPHICS, MECHANICS TO MAKE YOU FEEL SHIT FOR THE CHARACTERS AND THE FATE OF THE FUCKING WORLD ! NO TIME WAS WASTE HERE, EVERYTHING FUCKING MATTER AND THE CHARACTERS ACTUALLY DO STUFF TO MAKE THE WORLD BETTER AND MOST OF IT IS TECHNICALLY OPTIONAL SHIT BUT WHO CARES YOU WANT TO DO EVERYTHING AND YOU’LL MISS OUT ON STUFF BUT THAT’S OKAY IT’LL MAKE YOUR NEXT PLAYTHROUGH MORE INTERESTING AAAAAAAAAAAH
SEE FALCOM ? THAT’S WHAT YOUR STUPID VIDEO GAME LACK ! IT LACKS AMBITION, IT LACKS FINESSE, IT LACKS ALL OF THAT SHIT YOU STUPID MONGREL HOW DARE YOU EVEN TRY TO EVEN ATTEMPT AND PRETEND TO COPY FF VI WHEN YOU CAN’T EVEN REACH 1/100th OF ITS BRILLIANCE WITH QUINTUPLE THE RUN TIME AND A BIGGER SCRIPT THAN IT HUH ???
Hey you wanna know what all that stupid fucking fetchquesting leads toward the reconquering of Trista, you know the hub-town from the first game ? That’s an exciting moment the entire game has built toward I wonder how it i-
ITS ASS
The army just… leaves for no reason and task the hostages (?????) to run the school and keep it under control, so Rean and friends take on this occasion to go there and low and behold, the noble hostages just confront Rean.
“But this is pointless ?”
“Yeah we know, but we still need to fight because pride of the nobles or some shit”
So you do a boss fight that had literally zero reason for happening and then everyone nods, the hostages were actually fine the whole time and it was just a playful fisticuff for the older students and… Trista is taken back… ending act 2 on a very anticlimactic note…
Hope you enjoyed the 35 or so hours you wasted on Act 2 that lead to this…
The game… really doesn’t give a fuck… it’s insane, there was zero effort put into the actual story.
Yeah sure, you still have Falcom sense of details in NPC dialogues and books but… not the main fucking story, it’s just… wild as shit to me I can’t even begin to process how much this game doesn’t give a fuck and constantly cucks you from experiencing a little catharsis.
It just doesn’t care, even the neat idea of making this game set during the same time as Azure is just an after-thought and the conclusion to that leads almost fucking nowhere and impacts the story very little.
This nonchalance not only translate during the story but even boss-fight, most boss-fight you win in this game by the skin of your teeth (that is a joke, the game is Press Laura to win what did you expect), your characters are on their knees, the boss is going “mmph, that’s all you got ?” then you get your glory stolen by the adult cast which are all way cooler and way stronger than you, you’ve been doing all the heavy lifting but at the end of the day, you guys are just a bunch of students heh ?
I get that this is part of the series to make you understand that the MC will never be the strongest dude around and there’s so many people equally as strong if not more but it wasn’t so in your fucking face before and to lead to something so anticlimatic…
Heck the ending of the game ends on a barely moving death scene (aaaw) followed by the big revelation ! OSBORNE IS BACK AHAHAHA…
Wait a minute…
But we already know that from Azure ?
Wait a minute…
The game just reveals shit to us that we already knew ?
So all of this was for nothing ????
Anyway, Osborne comes tells Rean that he is his real father and then look at Ourogoonos and tell them to fuck off while stealing their plan like a chad because he planned this entire war on himself this entire time to turn Rean into a national icon for his newly establish fascist ethnostate.
Rean of course… agrees to participate in doing warcrimes for the reformist because… well huh… gotta help daddy I guess ???
Look fuck this game
And like a bad joke, it even keeps going after the credit because you thought the final chapter was the final chapter ? Well no you dumb fuck, there’s 2 MORE EPILOGUE CHAPTER
One is … legitimately the only good part of the game because you get to play as Lloyd and Rixia ! OH MAN I MISS PLAYING AS ACTUAL PEOPLE IN THIS GAME THANK GOD ! AND YOU EVEN GET THE CHANCE TO KICK REAN’S ASS WITH LLOYD FUCKING BANNING 10/10 GAME ON FUCKING GOD !!!!
Followed by several hours of the worst fucking final dungeon you’ve ever played through.
Yeah in the last chapter of the game, you go through a randomly generated multi-floor dungeon where you fight recycled bosses from the main game AND a swap color of the final boss of the first game who literally tells you that doing this dungeon… was actually pointless, he literally says it verbatum, I’m not making this up ! Gotta love Falcom’s brand of cheeky humour ahahaha…
I kneel Kondo, I really am kneeling hard, one last final goodbye to the cast and …
OH NO FUCK OFF KONDO ! WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO PLAY ON NG+ TO GET IMPORTANT LORE FOR THE NEXT ENTRY WHAT THE FUCK MAN WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD THIS GAME SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS
RAAAAAAAAAAAGH THIS GAME SUCKS
So you’re probably wondering why I’m ranking this slightly higher than CS1 well…
For 2 reasons :
Witnessing a story failing at everything it sets out to do in marvelous over the top fashion is somewhat entertaining in its own twisted kind of way
As mentioned earlier, I like what this game does structurally compared to the rest of the franchise (any game where you get to fuck around in an airship and built up an home base by recruiting people has a few more points in my book) and even the dungeon design has seen a significant improvement that I hope to see come to fruition in the rest of the series so there’s that.
CS1 was literally just “white noise : the video game”, homework to do to experience true gaming in the sequel and I must admit that at least CS2 didn’t commit the sinful crime of making me bored to death, there’s definitely a good game buried under all of this trashy nonsense…
But you won’t find it here…
Which leaves me to my conclusion…
Why would you play this ? Yeah the obvious answer is to experience the next chapter in the epic Trails saga, especially if you’re a fan or a masochist like me looking to satiate my curiosity but in general… Why ?
The few good things that CS2 does and heck even what it’s trying to do story wise are things you have likely seen done better in other titles some of which I’d consider true work of art worthy of your attention. Trails is being championed left and right as this life-changing franchise but all I get almost everytime are some average at best game with good ideas and good feelings behind them… But CS1 and CS2 only exacerbated the problem with this franchise, I actually now regret to have been so harsh towards Azure or SC because man, at least they tried, Cold Steel is just chasing trend, taking ideas and throwing them at a wall to see what sticks and if they could bait out the fishies with some good old waifu war.
But if it was only the anime bullshit, it’s also a mediocre attempt at political commentary ? I guess ? Even ideologically speaking, this game is spineless to the point of no return and is constantly trying to sound and look smarter than it actually looks but doesn’t have the balls or the shoulders to carry the boats and the logs ! The writing team behind this game must’ve felt so fucking proud for this last plotwist !
“Hey guess what it’s actually about how centrism is bad because it helped the bad guy !” and it could’ve been almost clever except it’s not and even after that revelation, Rean continues to be a good puppy dog with no spine, no thoughts, no choice no freaking nothing god I hate that character.
So yeah gameplay aside which sucks anyway, there’s the structure and yeah, it’s fun, I must admit I wasn’t completely bored playing this. But… is it really enough ?
If I wanted to play a poor’s man Persona, I’d play Persona
If I wanted to play a game with heavy political writing and a complex nuanced geopolitical setting, I’d play any Matsuno game
If I wanted a game about going around the world to gather people and grew my forces by doing tons of side-content, I’d play FFVI
If I wanted both of the previous statements, I’d play Suikoden which also has the benefit to be like Trails with each entry building off of the previous game in cool ways like .hack did too and those games are also damn good.
Heck I’d even throw Chained Echoes a modern indie RPG that did all of what I just said aside from Persona way better than what CS2 did
Heck if I wanted to play a series with a rich lore to chew on and a solid continuity with charming characters and humors, creative gameplay systems and some surprisingly insightful and dare I’d say ballsy attempt at delivering political messages
I’d play fucking Rance, yes… Rance, an actual honest to god porn game with the most reprehensible protagonist and content in existence but which has more heart and soul poured into it than anything I’ve ever played in my life.
I’d rather fully admit to being a degenerate and a Kingdom Hearts fan (which I am… I know… shocking) than playing Cold Steel 1 or 2 !
CS1 and CS2 are just a copout answer to a regular game recommendation, a good person will direct you to the good restaurant but the weirdoe cultist member who only knows the confine of his cult temple since childhood will tell you that you never eat better than at Veggietales.
Heck by the the time it took me between finishing the game last month and writing this shitass review, FFXVI came out and it had many similarities to Cold Steel especially in terms of structure, pacing and quest design (and not in a good way if you ask me) but by god, after playing FFXVI, CS2 barely was thought at the back of my head, it’s like a version of CS2 that actually worked, with an interesting story, a war setting that takes itself seriously, a badass anarchist hero and some seriously kick ass boss fight that is humanity pilled as fuck.
CS2 was a fascinatingly bad experience and I can’t believe I’m too deep enough into this shit to not hop on CS3 and … CS4 (that one seems to smell some exquisite taste of ass that I just can’t wait to experience)
So TL;DR : Play FFXVI, it’s on PS5 right now and it’s fucking awesome and Clive uses Rean’s asshole as an onahole anytime of the day
played this with the linkle mod and im now left with gender dysphoria
JESUS QUE JOGO RUIM
The best Final Fantasy game.
dropped worst vn ive ever touched i think a 10 year old couldve written haruki better
Sengoku Rance
2006
mentally on the fence of deciding if this game is overrated or a masterpiece because while it does so many things I absolutely love it also has a lot of really annoying aspects.
i think the game encourages savescumming way too much, theres so much rng involved in battles especially when you want to capture specific generals. also think the game rushes you due to plot reasons and is really opposed to letting you achieve 天下統一 despite it being SENGOKU RANCE. also dungeon battles are BORING. good god.
despite the annoying points i think this style of game is incredible and was absolutely addicted to this game. looking forward to playing the dai series.
i think the game encourages savescumming way too much, theres so much rng involved in battles especially when you want to capture specific generals. also think the game rushes you due to plot reasons and is really opposed to letting you achieve 天下統一 despite it being SENGOKU RANCE. also dungeon battles are BORING. good god.
despite the annoying points i think this style of game is incredible and was absolutely addicted to this game. looking forward to playing the dai series.
Quantum Break
2016
70 gb to watch a cw show
In a 2012 interview Cave devs explained that if SaiDaiOuJou was going to be their last game, it had to be a very straightforward experience. A game that's very simple and puts all of its focus around the good ol' dodging bullets, but with a contemporary approach. As a result, SDOJ is a pure bullet hell with 0 gimmick mechanics, but with all the over the top excess of the later Cave releases. The game can be way too much, and leaves very little window for casual plays. If you want to make a dent in it, you gotta sit down and commit to getting your ass kicked. There's very little in the way of strategy or understanding how to play it, you just need to dodge like your life depends on it. It's brutal. It's insane. It's non stop sensory overload. But at the same time it's oldschool as hell.
I'm still figuring out my feelings towards this game because, aside from the amazing OST and ultra futuristic presentation that pushes the limits on what can be readable in a 2D bullet hell, there's not a lot to say outside its intensity. I respect the back-to-basics approach, but it's easy to feel like there's nothing in the game you haven't seen from previous Cave offerings.
But what the hell. Even at its most derivative, Cave games can be a fucking blast, and this is no exception.
Let's pray to god we get a proper Steam port. I can't buy the wonky Xbox port from my European 360 and I'm not paying 4000+ bucks for the Exa version and system.
I'm still figuring out my feelings towards this game because, aside from the amazing OST and ultra futuristic presentation that pushes the limits on what can be readable in a 2D bullet hell, there's not a lot to say outside its intensity. I respect the back-to-basics approach, but it's easy to feel like there's nothing in the game you haven't seen from previous Cave offerings.
But what the hell. Even at its most derivative, Cave games can be a fucking blast, and this is no exception.
Let's pray to god we get a proper Steam port. I can't buy the wonky Xbox port from my European 360 and I'm not paying 4000+ bucks for the Exa version and system.
Bleach vs Naruto
TBD
better than jump force
Kichikuou Rance
1996
I've always wanted to conquer the world.
Sadly I live in modern America where guns the greatest thing known to man, bayonets are completely impractical, swords are fucking useless, and those amazing european suits of armor with dick protectors (yes those exist) are obselete. Thankfully, video games exist nowadays and I can kill my unquenchable thrist for this unknown type of urge I want. After years, I found what I was looking for. Strategy RPGs. For a while, Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War had what I wanted. Massive interconnected maps with a simple battle system and a great storyline to boot. Also, the game has a rating system which begs you to get a perfect game (which I plan to do one day) along with a generation system where the relationships of characters can lead different troops you get down the road. But the game wasn’t enough. The map was confined to a dozen or so maps that you couldn’t go back to and check on later. Plus, Fire Emblem had gone back to their regular old self and never tried this type of approach ever again. Plus, that rumored remake is probably not happening. Thankfully, I decided to graduate to grand strategy games and test their waters. There’s just one problem, they all fucking suck. Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Total War, and Liberty or Death were tailor made for hardcore players and insane PC gamers who can multitask like gods and know how to work their extremely advanced and complex UI and mechanics. They were a little too big for my taste. But thankfully, I found this game, Kichikuou Rance.
It has what I wanted. It’s immersive like wow I’m conquering the fucking world! It has a pretty simple UI design (being made in 1996 by a bunch of wack jobs who only made Dragon Quest but with pornographic twists and turns) and a simple battle system that just clicks. And, they are so many variables to take notes on. All main characters (side notes: there’s 167 characters I’m not joking) have good and bad ends depending on your actions. I want to go back to this game one day and just make the absolute limit of a strategy to get as many of the good endings of characters as possible. Ah yeah. The sex. It’s fine. Not the best. Not the worst. I was kinda shocked that one of the women in the game had a dozen guys with blue, pink, green, whatever hair and I was like “oh zamn thats nice”.
Anyways, good game. And before anyone asks, no I'm not a Rance fan.
Sadly I live in modern America where guns the greatest thing known to man, bayonets are completely impractical, swords are fucking useless, and those amazing european suits of armor with dick protectors (yes those exist) are obselete. Thankfully, video games exist nowadays and I can kill my unquenchable thrist for this unknown type of urge I want. After years, I found what I was looking for. Strategy RPGs. For a while, Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War had what I wanted. Massive interconnected maps with a simple battle system and a great storyline to boot. Also, the game has a rating system which begs you to get a perfect game (which I plan to do one day) along with a generation system where the relationships of characters can lead different troops you get down the road. But the game wasn’t enough. The map was confined to a dozen or so maps that you couldn’t go back to and check on later. Plus, Fire Emblem had gone back to their regular old self and never tried this type of approach ever again. Plus, that rumored remake is probably not happening. Thankfully, I decided to graduate to grand strategy games and test their waters. There’s just one problem, they all fucking suck. Romance of the Three Kingdoms, Total War, and Liberty or Death were tailor made for hardcore players and insane PC gamers who can multitask like gods and know how to work their extremely advanced and complex UI and mechanics. They were a little too big for my taste. But thankfully, I found this game, Kichikuou Rance.
It has what I wanted. It’s immersive like wow I’m conquering the fucking world! It has a pretty simple UI design (being made in 1996 by a bunch of wack jobs who only made Dragon Quest but with pornographic twists and turns) and a simple battle system that just clicks. And, they are so many variables to take notes on. All main characters (side notes: there’s 167 characters I’m not joking) have good and bad ends depending on your actions. I want to go back to this game one day and just make the absolute limit of a strategy to get as many of the good endings of characters as possible. Ah yeah. The sex. It’s fine. Not the best. Not the worst. I was kinda shocked that one of the women in the game had a dozen guys with blue, pink, green, whatever hair and I was like “oh zamn thats nice”.
Anyways, good game. And before anyone asks, no I'm not a Rance fan.