I cannot lie, I'm genuinely very disappointed in this game, especially with a company as consistently strong an output as Vanillaware it pains me that this game really only has those good ass Vanillaware visuals going for it.

In terms of gameplay, the game has a lot of elements that I would generally enjoy on paper, the formations and the way tactics form together should be so much better than it actually is, there's just so many variables to the point that it largely becomes a numbers game since character building, for the purposes of beating the game (played on the second highest difficulty) is really easy and it's not super hard to make even an unoptimal formation just work through sheer force of will, which really harms the strategy layer. Also the real time Ogre Battle style strategy has a lot of problems on its own. The worst being a lot of quality of life issues, such as not being able to see how your formations will do out of deployment, and the battle forecast changing at the drop of a hat. There's so many variables to battles that you can send a battalion over to an enemy where it says it'll be a sure win, and despite seemingly no other circumstances changing it suddenly switches to a stalemate of a battle which is incredibly frustrating for planning purposes, on top of the fact that if you make mistakes there's no backing out. In many ways I can't help but compare this game to the neighbouring turn based tactics genre, where at least I can make an assessment of which move I can take that would be the most optimal, Unicorn Overlord forces you to throw shit out and if it doesn't work then tough shit, which leads to an incredibly unsatisfying tactical experience. Also there's way too many liberation missions, which I know is for controlling the level curve, but even then the level curve is fucking wacked out by the endgame, there's like a 5 level recommended level jump for no reason. Nearly every gameplay element in the game is something that could work but has a botched enough execution that frustrates me because, man, I really do want to love this game.

But most frustrating of all is the story here, the only way I can describe is like bad Fire Emblem. There's a shitload of characters and they all interact with many others in the army but unlike Fire Emblem these characters offer the substance and flavour of white rice, these characters are truly bland in a way that seems almost alien to me compared to the characters in like Odin Sphere and 13 Sentinels. The story is also dead simple but still does a few things that really hurt its narrative, the villains in this game are fuckin terrible and their motivations never amount to anything interesting, meanwhile all the good guys are so generically good that even the bad guys that become good have some crutch excuse like mind control, hostage situation, or some other hackneyed out that prevents these characters from really flourishing. The rapport system is something I usually always like because it gives these characters that don't really interact in the main story a chance to be fleshed out as characters but all it can offer is the most shallow looks at these characters in their totality to the point that they're just functions to me, Armour guy, Horse guy, Bow guy they never offer anything more interesting than hating the evil empire because they're evil and it's just really surprising to see a game with so much love put into the production lean back so heavily on just being so consistently mid.

Just a really frustrating offering from Vanillaware from me, especially for a game that nearly bankrupted the company I expected so much better because this game really only has its visuals going for it, but I can get that from any other Vanillaware game and actually have a good game too.

I find it extremely hillarious that Konami, and her affinity to ruin a so-loved franchise of theirs, are able to make it even worse than expected. It is abysmal the fact that they try to make the game's message so obvious in the most cringe and bland way possible, where even the game's content can't even save it.

Should I start by the game's horrible chase sequences? The horrible voice acting and the attempt at lip synching it with 'live action' cutscenes? Or the fact that the game's protagonist is unispiring and boring to the point you actually don't give a crap about what they did and if they deserve redemption or forgiveness?

I sat for almost two hours playing this, hoping there could at least be something which would make me say it's decent. Which thankfully there was and it was the monster design and how nostalgic the soundtrack felt to the ancestors of this game. But it still baffles me that Akira Yamaoka chooses to return to create such masterful pieces of music for a franchise that the company itself gives no shit about. Akira has a deep connection with Silent Hill and it's obvious... But even he can't save the cringefest that involves the rest of the team behind the creation of projects such as this.

I have a lot of bad things to say about this game, but when I laid it out in depth, I was called woke because I claimed the characters, especially the women, were written very badly. Here I thought David Cage was an outed pervert, but it's still controversial to say that apparently. So in short:
- The story is bad and relies on a single plot twist that doesn't even make sense from a writing perspective.
- Characters are bad, cliched, unrealistic, and they talk like AI chatbots.
- Chapters are repetitive from start to finish.
- The "innovative storytelling" would work better as a TV show instead of a game with QTEs
- Choices feel like they alter the ending instead of the whole story, which is the worst type of "Important Choices" game you can make especially if you have no other game mechanic than choices.
Heavy Rain was definitely a game that I had a hard time understanding its success, even considering the time it was released. Its greatest achievement might be opening the door for slow-burn, story-rich games that don’t have to be filled with shooter mechanics to keep the consumers interested, and can instead emphasize the worldbuilding, visuals, and actual interactive stories to utilize its medium. I just personally felt like there are times when it doesn’t do justice to this cause more often than it does.

i imagine that the reason more games where the cast is comprised of depressed burnouts just below the poverty line aren't made is because it hits a little too close to home for most of us to really satisfy our need for escapism, but this jrpg lets you summon an adult baby diaper lover fetishist final fantasy style mid-battle, and if your character does well enough running a traditional rice cracker shop you can order an orbital satellite strike on some random fucking guys dancing around in trashbags. so obviously it's great

features an impossibly generous depiction of a future san francisco, which is depicted as clean and technologically progressive; i guaranfuckingtee you that by 2064 the city will be a disgusting shit-scented garbage island run by ruthless mad-max style rival tribes based on their district of origin before it is inevitably destroyed by the war between soma's cannibal techno-yuppies and the mission's anarcho-queer doomsday cult. (the upper class will have long left the surface behind in the salesforce tower, which now hovers over the remains of the city, its occupants laughing and clinking glasses of champagne together as they watch the trash pyre at pacific heights burn)