EffOff
2013
YOU CAN'T BOTH-SIDES SLAVERY, KEN.
I swear the gaming media was seduced by the pretty skyboxes back when this came out and we were all collectively tricked into thinking this was good because of the graphics and the "twist" at the end and the "thoughtful" commentary on racism. Ugh.
Pretty city in sky though, and I like the soundtrack, so here's your participation trophy you absolute piece of garbage.
I swear the gaming media was seduced by the pretty skyboxes back when this came out and we were all collectively tricked into thinking this was good because of the graphics and the "twist" at the end and the "thoughtful" commentary on racism. Ugh.
Pretty city in sky though, and I like the soundtrack, so here's your participation trophy you absolute piece of garbage.
This game is so beautiful but so, so stupid. Absolute dumpster fire. I hate it here. I love it here. I love running around with my little guys in the dark dank caves of Thedas and then one of them opens their mouth to say something inflammatory and I suddenly remember this game was written by a bunch of gibbons.
I don't think I've encountered a western RPG that's quite as ... whimsical as this one? The art direction and atmosphere feel like something out of a storybook, it's just so fun and colorful and gives me the same feelings I got when I was a kid reading fantasy novels. Sort of Spiderwick wibes, almost? With the fae and the little critters that bite your ankles.
But the game's not wholesome, it's weirdly horny in spots, clearly written by male fantasy authors, so of course it needs to be horny and edgy and violent. And tbh you can tell that it was heavily inspired by thicc fantasy novels because the game is heavy on lore and worldbuilding but the actual plot is fuck-all and the characters are cardboard cutouts. It's the type of fantasy where the writers flex their imagination in terms of creature design but then turn around and put their female characters in leather belts instead of clothes, ya know? It feels very immature in spots, which adds to the sort of childlike feeling of it all. You're just a Cool Guy/Gal running around punching out bad guys and isn't that what you want? Look at this hot elf lady! Isn't she a hot elf?
Really fun combat, though! It feels and looks super fun and snappy, and it's unique in that it lets you have cool powers from the start, so you don't get that usual slog of having shitty and boring powers in the early game. It fully embraces the power fantasy of being the Chosen One. You get to upgrade those cool powers as you go (which makes them scalable and worth having even in the late game) and get even cooler ones (ye olde meteor summon), and take your character in whichever way you want across three different combat styles. Also, this game is the only one where you can effectively play as a battlemage, at least in my opinion.
Overall, I think this game is heavily underrated, has a really fun aesthetic style and fun gameplay, but the story is really boring and lacks any interesting characters to root for and the RP potential is weak to non-existent. It makes up for in style and fun-factor for what it lacks in storytelling. Defo give it a go if you haven't yet, but don't expect vintage BioWare levels of writing. It holds a special place in my heart despite its flaws simply because of how fun and whimsical and adorable it is.
But the game's not wholesome, it's weirdly horny in spots, clearly written by male fantasy authors, so of course it needs to be horny and edgy and violent. And tbh you can tell that it was heavily inspired by thicc fantasy novels because the game is heavy on lore and worldbuilding but the actual plot is fuck-all and the characters are cardboard cutouts. It's the type of fantasy where the writers flex their imagination in terms of creature design but then turn around and put their female characters in leather belts instead of clothes, ya know? It feels very immature in spots, which adds to the sort of childlike feeling of it all. You're just a Cool Guy/Gal running around punching out bad guys and isn't that what you want? Look at this hot elf lady! Isn't she a hot elf?
Really fun combat, though! It feels and looks super fun and snappy, and it's unique in that it lets you have cool powers from the start, so you don't get that usual slog of having shitty and boring powers in the early game. It fully embraces the power fantasy of being the Chosen One. You get to upgrade those cool powers as you go (which makes them scalable and worth having even in the late game) and get even cooler ones (ye olde meteor summon), and take your character in whichever way you want across three different combat styles. Also, this game is the only one where you can effectively play as a battlemage, at least in my opinion.
Overall, I think this game is heavily underrated, has a really fun aesthetic style and fun gameplay, but the story is really boring and lacks any interesting characters to root for and the RP potential is weak to non-existent. It makes up for in style and fun-factor for what it lacks in storytelling. Defo give it a go if you haven't yet, but don't expect vintage BioWare levels of writing. It holds a special place in my heart despite its flaws simply because of how fun and whimsical and adorable it is.
2012
Visually striking and emotionally difficult. You need to be in the right headspace to play it, but it's worth experiencing for what it is and what it tries to say.
2013
Best walking simulator, nobody did it like her, prove me wrong.
2012
Sorry I have no words to describe how good this is. Probably one of the first "proper" games I got, so I'm biased, but oh my god. The atmosphere, the art direction, the music, the worldbuilding, the gameplay? Games are art and I can prove it.
Story is pretty meh but everything else makes up for it. Probably one of the most influential pieces of media I've consumed that still inspires my own creations to this day.
I love you Dishonored kisses it on the mouth
Story is pretty meh but everything else makes up for it. Probably one of the most influential pieces of media I've consumed that still inspires my own creations to this day.
I love you Dishonored kisses it on the mouth
2009
I love to think about playing Origins and I love to have played Origins, but actually playing Origins? It's rough. It's aged both well and very poorly. 10/10 would recommend.
2011
I love you ugly stepsister of the Dragon Age franchise, despite your bad everything and poorly-aged centrist narratives <3
2015
Yeah it fucked me up. 10/10. Play on safe mode, the horror/chase sequences are unecessary and distracting and don't add anything to the overall story and experience <3
Not quite as punchy as the first story-wise, but has a lot of improvements over the first game and is still a very good entry in the franchise that expands upon the world and lore of the first game ... Isn't that wild for a sequel to do hahaha :)
2016
This review contains spoilers
Yeah it was wonky on release but I got it on the PS4 so I didn't notice, sorry.
I loved playing as Emily and I loved her powerset. I think Karnaca was a really cool setting and the game itself was gorgeous, a total upgrade over the first game while still feeling accurate to the world and unique to the franchise. A couple of the levels (especially A Crack in the Slab) were really imaginative and just viscerally satisfying to master and figure out. Honestly, it was a pretty good sequel overall.
My main gripe is the story. Dishonored 1 had a pretty bare-bones plot that was just an excuse to get Corvo going. Here, the protagonists are voiced and the story becomes a larger presence in the game, and you can really tell that the writers just can't quite back up their worldbuilding and atmosphere with a good story, at least not with Emily or Corvo at the helm. They're both voiced this time and the actors do a decent enough job, but Emily's story in particular just fell really short for me. You're supposed to believe that low chaos Emily learned how privileged she is and that she needs to do better, but we're just ... told this at the end of the game. Like, we don't see her evolve and realize the errors of her ways, the privilege of her position as Empress, how she's hurt her people by neglecting her duties. She just decides "oh well I'll do better now," but nothing really changes.
It just makes her seem really unlikable and like the main villain is lowkey correct? Which wouldn't be a bad thing, if it was intentional on the writers' part, but I don't think it was. It just came off as really underbaked and trite.
Poor Corvo just gets a rehash of his plot in DH1, characters even point out that it's the same dang conflict. I think the old man was just included to satisfy the gamer bros who can't play as a woman lest their masculinity shatters into a thousand wet pieces.
So this game was fun and I would've liked it more if the story was better, or if they let Emily and Corvo shut up this time, too, so I could at least imagine better writing for them, cuz that worked in DH1.
I loved playing as Emily and I loved her powerset. I think Karnaca was a really cool setting and the game itself was gorgeous, a total upgrade over the first game while still feeling accurate to the world and unique to the franchise. A couple of the levels (especially A Crack in the Slab) were really imaginative and just viscerally satisfying to master and figure out. Honestly, it was a pretty good sequel overall.
My main gripe is the story. Dishonored 1 had a pretty bare-bones plot that was just an excuse to get Corvo going. Here, the protagonists are voiced and the story becomes a larger presence in the game, and you can really tell that the writers just can't quite back up their worldbuilding and atmosphere with a good story, at least not with Emily or Corvo at the helm. They're both voiced this time and the actors do a decent enough job, but Emily's story in particular just fell really short for me. You're supposed to believe that low chaos Emily learned how privileged she is and that she needs to do better, but we're just ... told this at the end of the game. Like, we don't see her evolve and realize the errors of her ways, the privilege of her position as Empress, how she's hurt her people by neglecting her duties. She just decides "oh well I'll do better now," but nothing really changes.
It just makes her seem really unlikable and like the main villain is lowkey correct? Which wouldn't be a bad thing, if it was intentional on the writers' part, but I don't think it was. It just came off as really underbaked and trite.
Poor Corvo just gets a rehash of his plot in DH1, characters even point out that it's the same dang conflict. I think the old man was just included to satisfy the gamer bros who can't play as a woman lest their masculinity shatters into a thousand wet pieces.
So this game was fun and I would've liked it more if the story was better, or if they let Emily and Corvo shut up this time, too, so I could at least imagine better writing for them, cuz that worked in DH1.
I think I cried for like 10 minutes after the credits started rolling. Not really a horror game despite the spooky aesthetic. A pretty heavy experience that I wouldn't recommend for anyone going through it right now, but it can also be deeply cathartic, as it was for me. Takes about 8-10 hours to complete and should be done in one sitting, IMO.
The worldbuilding and gameplay are pretty bare, but the heart of the game is really the story and the mind of Senua. So um ... get in there :)
The worldbuilding and gameplay are pretty bare, but the heart of the game is really the story and the mind of Senua. So um ... get in there :)
2016
Ayn Rand's wet dream ahahahahaha
No but forreal this game is iconic and well-loved for a reason. Was lucky enough to play it without being spoiled first (initial release, not the remaster). The twist blew my dick right off, and not because it was surprising or came out of nowhere. It actually had something to say that it was building up to throughout, and the medium helped the message (i.e. something something the illusion of choice in an interactive medium something something). A must-play IMO.
No but forreal this game is iconic and well-loved for a reason. Was lucky enough to play it without being spoiled first (initial release, not the remaster). The twist blew my dick right off, and not because it was surprising or came out of nowhere. It actually had something to say that it was building up to throughout, and the medium helped the message (i.e. something something the illusion of choice in an interactive medium something something). A must-play IMO.
Pros: Love Billie, she's got personality where Emily lacked one, and she's the perfect protagonist to end this journey on, with just enough grit to fit in the world but also a lot of heart that makes her likable. Limited but unique power set makes the game more challenging but more engaging for a stealth player like me. Interesting ideas and new areas that are fun to explore, even if none are quite as creative as the ones in DH2. More lore and more Outsider stuff, I love that little freak.
Cons: Just completely wasted my mans Daud. He deserved better than to croak on a boat off-screen. Would've still liked a chaos meter, even if it "doesn't make sense," it just feels like something's missing without it. The main plot and "good" ending have a very distinct whiff of fanfic that makes me believe the rumor that a Corvosider shipper helped write it. It just felt kinda fanservice-y.
Overall, more of Dishonored, and I love Dishonored, even when you're not really very Dishonored anymore.
Cons: Just completely wasted my mans Daud. He deserved better than to croak on a boat off-screen. Would've still liked a chaos meter, even if it "doesn't make sense," it just feels like something's missing without it. The main plot and "good" ending have a very distinct whiff of fanfic that makes me believe the rumor that a Corvosider shipper helped write it. It just felt kinda fanservice-y.
Overall, more of Dishonored, and I love Dishonored, even when you're not really very Dishonored anymore.
2015
"Oh, that's right, I forgot I was looking for my son!"
-- Griffin McElroy, Monster Factory: Fallout 4 - Episode 2
-- Griffin McElroy, Monster Factory: Fallout 4 - Episode 2