Giantmushroom
Review in progress:
The art style is hideous, the puzzles are simplistic (most of the difficulty comes from pixel hunting and backtracking), and the story is weak. Some items can only be interacted with after an arbitrary story trigger, which gets tedious. Return to Monkey Island's plot leans way too heavily on nostalgia and has almost no new ideas of its own. Elaine's character has been completely butchered. She acts like a completely different person in this game. Guybrush continues to act much more stupid and mean-spirited than in the original, to the point where you wonder why anyone even puts up with him. The ending is somehow worse than 2's. It's not clever and feels like yet another cop-out. The characters acting off-brand isn't justified by the twist, either.
The art style is hideous, the puzzles are simplistic (most of the difficulty comes from pixel hunting and backtracking), and the story is weak. Some items can only be interacted with after an arbitrary story trigger, which gets tedious. Return to Monkey Island's plot leans way too heavily on nostalgia and has almost no new ideas of its own. Elaine's character has been completely butchered. She acts like a completely different person in this game. Guybrush continues to act much more stupid and mean-spirited than in the original, to the point where you wonder why anyone even puts up with him. The ending is somehow worse than 2's. It's not clever and feels like yet another cop-out. The characters acting off-brand isn't justified by the twist, either.
Review in progress:
Monkey Island 2 is a comprehensive downgrade from its predecessor. The story is subpar and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. They made Guybrush a complete idiot and a huge jerk. He wasn't particularly bright in the first game, but it wasn't this bad. It feels like his character has been flanderized here. Why should I root for this character or believe that Elaine would even want to be friends with him? The ending is one of the worst I've seen in a video game and derails the whole series. The puzzles are more cryptic and frustrating this time around. The new artwork looks bland and unimpressive, but at least you can switch back to the original.
Monkey Island 2 is a comprehensive downgrade from its predecessor. The story is subpar and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. They made Guybrush a complete idiot and a huge jerk. He wasn't particularly bright in the first game, but it wasn't this bad. It feels like his character has been flanderized here. Why should I root for this character or believe that Elaine would even want to be friends with him? The ending is one of the worst I've seen in a video game and derails the whole series. The puzzles are more cryptic and frustrating this time around. The new artwork looks bland and unimpressive, but at least you can switch back to the original.
2005
This would probably be more enjoyable for me in multiplayer. I wasn't having a great time solo. Guild Wars isn't as oppressive as FFXI, but figuring out how to complete quests and navigate the world is somewhat difficult thanks to the poor map system. Hotbar combat isn't my favorite.
I wish that there was a way to autojoin other players once outside of town.
I wish that there was a way to autojoin other players once outside of town.
2018
Review in progress:
It's a decent point-and-click game, but the puzzles are weak. The latter two party members were less compelling than the first two.
It's a decent point-and-click game, but the puzzles are weak. The latter two party members were less compelling than the first two.
2016
Final Fantasy XV feels half-baked. All of the common criticisms seem to be accurate based on the 4 hours I played. The characters and world are underdeveloped, the side quests are bland, and the open world is empty. Even calling this an open world seems laughable when there are invisible walls for areas the game doesn't want you reaching (despite them being clearly traversable). The combat is shallow and repetitive. All you need to do is hold down the attack button and dodge occasionally. The supplementary systems (warping, "magic" AKA glorified bombs, and ally attacks) don't make it any better. I didn't hear any memorable music. Sitting in the car and doing literally nothing for 3-5 minutes while heading to a destination is miserable. The fuel mechanic is more tedious than immersive. Dungeons lacked the puzzle solving that made them
The graphics are above average, but the poor performance/optimization detracts from the experience. I had intermittent stuttering on a PC that should easily be able to run this game. Some technical aspects are also lacking (no footprints in the sand, grass appears to be mostly static, towns feel empty, etc.) The lack of a manual save option in dungeons is annoying, especially when I want to change gear or allocate skill points before a major fight.
I shouldn't need to consume a bunch of supplementary media to get a half-decent story.
The graphics are above average, but the poor performance/optimization detracts from the experience. I had intermittent stuttering on a PC that should easily be able to run this game. Some technical aspects are also lacking (no footprints in the sand, grass appears to be mostly static, towns feel empty, etc.) The lack of a manual save option in dungeons is annoying, especially when I want to change gear or allocate skill points before a major fight.
I shouldn't need to consume a bunch of supplementary media to get a half-decent story.
1994
I prefer the pixel remaster as of the 1.10 patch.
2021
Forza Horizon 5 feels almost identical to its predecessor. I was hoping for some more change. There's still way too much paid DLC and the gameplay gets repetitive after a few hours. Mexico is less visually interesting than the UK.
Kudos to Playground Games for writing the worst dialogue of any video game in history.
Kudos to Playground Games for writing the worst dialogue of any video game in history.
1996
Garbage
As dull as the base game. The combat is only slightly better.
2021
The gameplay is painfully dull and repetitive. The story wasn't holding my attention, either. I think I'll just read a synopsis before playing Alan Wake II.
2008
I wasn't impressed. Fable II doesn't fix any of the issues I had with the first game.
The combat is shallow and button-mashy. Everything can be killed by spamming X. The nonexistent difficulty means that there's no incentive to become stronger, which is part of what makes RPGs compelling. The lack of armor is especially strange. Having to hold down a button to collect XP was a dumb design decision. In what scenario would I not want to receive it?
The glowing trails and mandatory treasure-finding dog companion ruins most of the exploration. The gameplay for a lot of the side activities (smithing, woodcutting, etc.) consists of a dull and monotonous minigame.
The morality system is black and white like with most games from this era. You can either be a virtuous hero or cartoonishly evil. There are no interesting/morally grey decisions to make like in The Witcher 3. It's unengaging and artificial. The deeds that I got "evil points" for weren't even that bad. In what world is refusing to marry a random person immoral? You're also punished for looting civilian corpses despite there being no option to return the belongings to their families.
You can interact with NPCs, but it's mostly relegated to a shallow gesture system and they are all are essentially indistinguishable from each other, so why bother?
Character models are less hideous than in Fable Anniversary, but are still ugly. The aggressive use of bloom makes the game look dated visually. It definitely has that early 7th-gen asthetic. At least there's color...
The story and characters are forgettable. The world isn't compelling and I didn't care about what was going on.
The combat is shallow and button-mashy. Everything can be killed by spamming X. The nonexistent difficulty means that there's no incentive to become stronger, which is part of what makes RPGs compelling. The lack of armor is especially strange. Having to hold down a button to collect XP was a dumb design decision. In what scenario would I not want to receive it?
The glowing trails and mandatory treasure-finding dog companion ruins most of the exploration. The gameplay for a lot of the side activities (smithing, woodcutting, etc.) consists of a dull and monotonous minigame.
The morality system is black and white like with most games from this era. You can either be a virtuous hero or cartoonishly evil. There are no interesting/morally grey decisions to make like in The Witcher 3. It's unengaging and artificial. The deeds that I got "evil points" for weren't even that bad. In what world is refusing to marry a random person immoral? You're also punished for looting civilian corpses despite there being no option to return the belongings to their families.
You can interact with NPCs, but it's mostly relegated to a shallow gesture system and they are all are essentially indistinguishable from each other, so why bother?
Character models are less hideous than in Fable Anniversary, but are still ugly. The aggressive use of bloom makes the game look dated visually. It definitely has that early 7th-gen asthetic. At least there's color...
The story and characters are forgettable. The world isn't compelling and I didn't care about what was going on.
2005
It's a mechanically solid high score type puzzle game, but that isn't one of my favorite genres.
Review in in progress:
This is held back by the bland anime art style and touch screen gimmicks. The story is very forgettable. Doesn't hold a candle to Aria of Sorrow.
This is held back by the bland anime art style and touch screen gimmicks. The story is very forgettable. Doesn't hold a candle to Aria of Sorrow.
Valkyria Chronicles 4 is one of the safest "paint by the numbers" sequels I've ever had the misfortune of playing. It feels more like a half-baked DLC than a standalone product and fails to move the series forward in any meaningful way.
Aside from minor balance tweaks and introducing a new class, the gameplay is nearly identical to the original. The low accuracy of attacks makes combat feel overly luck-based and leads to a lot of frustration. To make matters worse, they still don't give you an accuracy percentage, which makes it harder to strategize effectively. Graphically, there are no visible improvements despite the ten-year gap between 1 and 4. The vast majority of the assets are ripped straight from 1 and the same can be said for most of the audio. Bafflingly, they decided to retain the much-maligned ranking system (only the number of turns to complete the mission matters). It was dreadful in the original and is just as bad here. You still can't skip enemy turns, which is a feature Fire Emblem added in 2012. Being able to speed them up a bit doesn't count.
The story and characters in 1 were subpar but tolerable. All of the core characters this time are exceedingly unlikeable, annoying, and childish. They've doubled down on the fanservice as well. All of this makes the juxtaposition between the anime bullshit and serious war themes even more jarring. Any attempt to tell a compelling story is completely undermined as a result.
This belongs in the graveyard along with all of the other mishandled SEGA IPs. Do they even have anything left at this point?
Aside from minor balance tweaks and introducing a new class, the gameplay is nearly identical to the original. The low accuracy of attacks makes combat feel overly luck-based and leads to a lot of frustration. To make matters worse, they still don't give you an accuracy percentage, which makes it harder to strategize effectively. Graphically, there are no visible improvements despite the ten-year gap between 1 and 4. The vast majority of the assets are ripped straight from 1 and the same can be said for most of the audio. Bafflingly, they decided to retain the much-maligned ranking system (only the number of turns to complete the mission matters). It was dreadful in the original and is just as bad here. You still can't skip enemy turns, which is a feature Fire Emblem added in 2012. Being able to speed them up a bit doesn't count.
The story and characters in 1 were subpar but tolerable. All of the core characters this time are exceedingly unlikeable, annoying, and childish. They've doubled down on the fanservice as well. All of this makes the juxtaposition between the anime bullshit and serious war themes even more jarring. Any attempt to tell a compelling story is completely undermined as a result.
This belongs in the graveyard along with all of the other mishandled SEGA IPs. Do they even have anything left at this point?
2005
Call of Duty 2 is an improvement over the original, but still isn't great. The level design feels more refined, the setpieces are larger, and the number of on-screen enemies has increased. Replacing the old-school med kit system with regenerating health allows the player to be much more aggressive. It feels very similar to the original outside of those changes.
The infinitely respawning enemies are annoying. The enemy AI isn't very good, either. I noticed that they would go out of their way to target me while ignoring my NPC allies, which feels cheap. It's hard to make "realistic shooters" engaging for hours on end when the entire game is comprised of one enemy type, especially with the aforementioned mediocre AI. It would be nice if there was more gameplay variety (e.g., stealth, tactical options, vehicle segments, varied mission objectives, etc.) I played through the Russian campaign and it had none of those. Call of Duty 2 becomes repetitive early on as a result of these flaws.
The infinitely respawning enemies are annoying. The enemy AI isn't very good, either. I noticed that they would go out of their way to target me while ignoring my NPC allies, which feels cheap. It's hard to make "realistic shooters" engaging for hours on end when the entire game is comprised of one enemy type, especially with the aforementioned mediocre AI. It would be nice if there was more gameplay variety (e.g., stealth, tactical options, vehicle segments, varied mission objectives, etc.) I played through the Russian campaign and it had none of those. Call of Duty 2 becomes repetitive early on as a result of these flaws.