I'm a sucker for all things isometric, so this has been on my backlog for a while.

An own-brand metroidy action adventure with loads of cool noises and neat ability upgrades, it's good and fun for a while, but eventually i got tired of being repeatedly knocked off of a slow-moving platform by way too many enemies.

Impressive for a GBA game, but DS touchscreen aiming would have helped so much with the frustration. Or maybe I just need to git gud. But who has the time?

Definitely played this once before, but barely remembered anything. It's good!

I've always been wary of games that are like "play YOUR way!" and then one particular route seems way more practical and obvious than any other, but

a) here you'll sometimes get new info mid-mission that makes your think about what you're doing, and

b) I'm slowly realising that one route is just MY way, and maybe doesn't seem that practical or obvious to other players. Dumbass.

First-person melee combat is where it falls apart for me, but TBH that's not unique to Dishonored, I've yet to find a game that does it well. Also I pretty much ignored the Bone Charms, didn't seem like most made much difference apart from a few obvious ones (MY way again?). I do wish games would bin "slightly increases x", either make them big and meaningful or skip them altogether.

I decided early on to go mostly non-lethal, and I got the nice ending because I'm nice. I figured the guards only know what they've been told and they're only fighting me because they've been lied to. I'm now away to get the bad ending because ACAB.

99% sure I'll never be back to this, and potentially never start another? There was plenty to love about it, and I'm not one of those folk who insist New Leaf was "better", but I've certainly burned myself out on the whole concept thanks to this rendition.

That first summer, and I guess most of the first whole year, was magic. I had a fun and busy group chat, folk were hosting birthday parties and assault course races and even murder mysteries. I set up secret raves in the woods and performed synth jams live over the official voice chat app, and I built a ziggurat with an arcane stone tablet at the unreachable 4th level peak, and my wife has a beautiful flower garden near a heart-shaped pond. But ultimately the novelty wore off, and the year repeated exactly as it did first time, and it became a box-ticking exercise.

Soon nobody was bothered about visiting each other, not least because the process was hideously clunky. At one point I tried to rekindle my interest by designing a new island layout, but the effort to actually do the work just doesn't seem worthwhile. Because who cares? Certainly not the islanders, who long ago ran out of things to say.

I almost wish there was less to do. Or more accurately, less that only I can do. I don't want to be the mayor and the fundraiser and the landscaper and the fashion guru and the errand boy and the archaeologist and the art expert and the wedding photographer all the time. I just want to hang out and chill. And yeah I guess I can do that and ignore a lot of the other stuff, but the island is currently in a right state and nobody else is going to fix it.

Also I miss Moe. In New Leaf me and Moe would hang out a lot, and he made me laugh, and it felt like we were two weird guys living in a nice town. The illusion was great, and I think I've seen through it all now.

Here's my terrible idea for the next one: persistent online multiplayer towns. You and your pals move in together, and each decide your own level of involvement. If none of you do very much, the other animal villagers pick up the slack, and if you don't like it you complain to the mayor. Give us busybodies and do-gooders and lazy bastards and litterbugs. Give us a new illusion. Give us Animal Crossing: Local Facebook Group.

Mad flashy/glitchy splash screen immediately before the photosensitivity warning, great start.

I fired this up knowing nothing about it. Looks fantastic, but plays like shit, and you can tell they know it because the overwhelming majority of the opening hour or so is spent watching cutscenes.

The camera moves like the dude's head is drunkenly swaying around, every tiny bit of useless information is announced as being Added To The Database, and when I saw the numbers "409 / 240,300" pop up I groaned and accidently opened the menus and upon seeing them groaned some more.

It is fair to say I am not the target audience for this type of thing.

I heard in passing they were making this, and the next thing I knew it had been out for a week and left everyone shrugging. I figured I'd pick it up when it was £3.

Turns out it's good, actually? Not on the same level as 2 obviously, but a fun little thrill ride nonetheless. TBH the change from 2's Haunted House to 3's Roller Ghoster is something I welcome, they're different enough that I'm not left feeling like one is a shit version of the other.

I like how well it realises the janky OG dodge. I like how it processes a unique and ambitious mess of a game, one that prompted a rethink of the direction of the series, into a solid bridge between 2 and 4. I like how Jill, having overcome the shock of the mansion incident, has regained her focus and evolved into a proper badass.

I Iike how it cost £9. Money very well spent.

Of course, you could argue it's a huge missed opportunity to make a big maze of city streets and do a "proper" old-school Resi outdoors, but that way madness lies. At least for me. We didn't get that, we got this. Sometimes I have to remind myself not to compare a real thing with a fantasy.

I've definitely played the original at least twice, but honestly there's not a lot about it that really stuck with me, so the changes made here don't grate on me at all. Maybe I'd feel different if I was more familiar, but I probably can't be bothered; let's face it, the original is hardly a classic. I'm 90% sure that reminiscing about it is more fun than actually playing it. This version though? I could go again right away.

Now do Code Veronica!