I don't even have anything to say about this game, really. It's just great vibes.
I loved the characters and the humour. I liked the stupidly convoluted, batshit story. It honestly has some of the most hype cutscenes and set pieces I've seen in this franchise. I liked the unique battle system and the Junctioning function to switch up your gameplay style as needed.
I will say, I'm actually surprised we never got a Laguna spin-off game. He was definitely my favourite character in the game and I would love to see more of his (mis)adventures.

Man, Nintendo was REALLY leaning in hard on these pointless puzzle games for the Mario franchise, weren’t they? They had something going there with Dr. Mario, I’ll give them that, but then they made Yoshi, a fine enough puzzle game, but one that isn’t engaging enough to where I wanna play it for more then five minutes, and Yoshi’s Cookie, the one that will probably give Yoshi diabetes while also STILL not being engaging enough to make me wanna play for even more than five minutes! There comes a time when, after trying time and time again, you gotta take a step back and realize you have already peaked, and you will never be able to reach that success again. But nonetheless, that didn’t stop them from trying, so for their next attempt, they decided to give the green dino a break, and instead use their good ol’ yellow fat man instead for another experiment, and thus, they created Wario’s Woods.

Like with Yoshi and Yoshi’s Cookie, I never had any real interest to give this game a proper shot beforehand, primarily because it was another Mario puzzle game from the NES, and I wasn’t really wanting to try it out for fear that it would just be another mid puzzler with nothing to show for it. I have been curious about it for a while though, not just because it is a Wario puzzle game, but also because it is the last officially licensed NES game ever released for us in the states, so I wondered how exactly were they going to end off the legacy of such an industry-changing console. Well, now that I have played it, let me tell you then that, they ended it off with… another mid puzzler with nothing to show for it. For what we got here, I would say it is a good game, and you could have some fun with it with the right people, but it does fall into a lot of the same problems that both Yoshi and Yoshi’s Cookie had, with not much else to show for it.

The story is appropriately simple, where Wario takes over the all-too-perfect Peaceful Woods and turns all of the creatures that inhabit them into sinister beasts, so it is up to some random Toad from the Mushroom Kingdom to go in and stop anymore destruction from happening, which is an incredibly stupid premise, but I feel it fits right at home with the game as a whole. The graphics are pretty good, having plenty of great sprites and animations for all the characters and enemies, all feeling like a good way to send off the system it was made for, the music is good enough, having cheery and sinister tracks for whatever is going on at the moment, but none of the tracks are all that memorable, the control is a bit different from what you usually expect in a puzzle game, and it does take some getting used to, which I never really did at the end of it all, and the gameplay is simple enough for a puzzler, taking elements from other puzzle games and sprinkling them all together, for a perfectly average experience.

The game is a mostly typical puzzle game, where you take control of that random Toad that I mentioned earlier, go through plenty of different rounds through plenty of different tree trunks, match up plenty of different monsters together while trying to connect them to the falling bombs, gather up plenty of the coins that will fall down when you win so you could feel better about yourself, then turn off the game and go back to playing Tetris, because why would you bother playing this when Tetris is right there. It is a very simple puzzle game with some neat ideas, and its got the visuals and music to back it up for a good while, but like I mentioned before, not only is the game not really exciting or rewarding enough to where you wanna keep going for hours on end, but there are also somethings in general that are just holding it back.

Unlike many other puzzle games, where you take control of either the pieces or some other aspect of the game to get the pieces to match up, you actually take control of Toad himself, running around in these tree trunks and matching up all of the monsters and bombs yourself. This, in all honesty, is actually a pretty neat idea, and it does make you think differently about how to approach this type of game, since before things start falling down on top of you, you can actually move around the monsters that you are trying to clear out so that you can get rid of them pretty quickly, which is very helpful at times. It also helps that you can also do several things with Toad that you wouldn’t be able to do in other puzzle games, like climbing up columns of monsters to get to the other side of them, or kicking certain pieces across the board, which is neat. And of course, like any good puzzle game, there is a two player vs. mode, where you and a friend can battle it out to see which one of you is the best monster exterminator of them all, and while I myself didn’t try out this mode, I imagine it is the best way to experience a game like this.

Unfortunately, just like with some of the other Mario spin-off puzzle games I have covered on this website, there just isn’t that much here for me to really call this a bonafide classic puzzle game for the NES. It just doesn’t have that same kind of addicting and engaging feel that other puzzle games like Tetris or Dr. Mario has, and as such, it once again can’t keep me really all that interested or excited to play it for more than five minutes. Not to mention, while the idea of controlling an actual character in a puzzle game like this is neat in theory, but in practice, it is kinda sloppy. Sure, you can pull off a lot of maneuvers you wouldn’t be able to otherwise, but you also get plenty of restrictions, like not being able to climb up monsters while you are holding something, which makes the gameplay even more tedious, and the direction in which you pick up things can also take some getting used to. It isn’t impossible to get a handle of, but it is just a little frustrating to do so.

Overall, despite some neat ideas and having all of the elements present for a great time, Wario’s Woods is yet another incredibly forgettable puzzle game from the NES, doing the bare minimum for a title from this genre, and providing a good amount of fun for the time that it lasts, but there just isn’t enough there to keep the average puzzle enthusiast entertained for too long before wanting to move onto something else. I would recommend it for those who are fans of puzzle games, as well as those who were fans of games like Yoshi or Yoshi’s Cookie, but other than that, you would be much better off sticking to much better alternatives that were already out by this point. Not only that, but Wario should also stick to platforming, as he just isn’t cut out for the puzzle lifestyle. I mean, what other kind of weird, out of pocket shit could he pull off other than that? I guess it will remain a mystery… anyway, I wonder what Bomberman is up to?

Game #534

Man, gamers these days are so goddamn needy when it comes to what a video game should have, aren’t they? They’re always wanting big, epic stories, graphics so good that it will make live-action footage look inferior in comparison , a million customizables, 9999fps or some garbage at all times, it’s all too much! Don’t they know that you don’t need all of that in order to make a good game? As long as you have a good foundation to work off of, some creative ideas, and enough content to leave the player satisfied, that should do the trick just fine. Hell, there are plenty of games that were released in them good ol’ days that were able to become classics not by being crammed with too much stuff, but with taking a swing at the fences, creating something that was familiar for some, yet featured new twists to make it more interesting. Take, for instance, a game I definitely should’ve played a lot sooner than later, Wild Guns.

I had known about this game for a long time before I first checked it out, I wanna say since around 2015-2016, when I had watched a video of it on YouTube, and based on what I saw, it looked pretty fun and unique. However, because old habits die hard, it took me way too long to eventually decide to try the game myself, and from what I played back then, I ended up really liking it. It has been a hot minute though, so while I am waiting for the chance to replay through Doom II for a review (real life is a bitch), I figured I would replay this game to see if it still holds up, and unsurprisingly, it absolutely does. It is one of the most fun and unique co-op games that you could find on the SNES, and while it isn’t perfect, with some parts feeling unnecessary or lackluster, it is a joy ride from start to finish that deserves all the praise it can get.

The story is fairly simple, where a woman by the name of Annie loses her family due to the Kid Family abducting and killing them, so after seeking the help of a space bounty hunter known as Clint, the two of them go off to get revenge on the family in the most explosive and brutal way possible, which is almost as basic as a revenge story can get, but it doesn’t waste any time and gets you into the action right away, so I can get behind that. The graphics are pretty great, with all of the levels and enemies fitting both the western and steampunk aesthetic very well, and all of the enemies, characters, and bosses are full of life with animations galore that are pretty great to witness, the music is wonderful, matching the tone of the settings flawlessly and fitting for all of the gunplay that will be happening all throughout the game, the control can take a bit to get used to for those who have never played the game before, but they can get used to it fairly quickly, and it works well enough, and the gameplay, on the surface, is pretty typical, but the way that it is carried out makes it stand out from all other games at the time, and it works wonders.

The game is a shooting gallery title, where you take control of either Clint or Annie, go through six different levels full of plenty of different sections you can blast through, shoot up anything and everything that appears on screen, making sure to grab items by shooting them (makes sense to me) and dodge any bullets that are fired your way, gather plenty of different money items, bombs, and different weapons that can help you out against your foes along the way, and fight against plenty of bosses, ranging from the big and ruthless, to the small and fast, all of them being a joy to face for plenty of reasons. In any other title, all of this could be seen as typical for this era, with nothing else to show for itself, but the fact that it chooses this style of gameplay makes it a lot more unique and fun to blast through, especially with a friend.

Since you don’t need to worry about trying to reach the end of any kind of stage, or really any goal that isn’t right in front of you, the game prioritizes the gunplay over everything else, and it feels appropriately immensely satisfying, allowing to mow down plenty of enemies before you while making sure to apply the perfect dodging maneuvers. Not only that, but the different weapons you can acquire make it even more satisfying to annihilate whatever lays before you, having a much bigger range of fire then before, along with, of course, dealing much more damage. This especially rings true with the Vulcan Gun, which doesn’t last all too long, but whenever you have it, you feel UNSTOPPABLE, as everything seemingly goes down with just a few shots, and you can cover a lot of ground with it. And finally, one more noteworthy thing to note about the game is, again, the theme it has. It isn’t necessarily original, having a bombastic western setting with a whole lot of shit going on at once, but the inclusion of robots does, ironically, add a bit more life and charm to it, along with each blending into each other flawlessly, to the point where you can’t imagine it without either of those things.

With that being said though, the game isn’t perfect. While I do praise the main gameplay for being incredibly addicting and fun to mess around with, it doesn’t really change up at all throughout the whole game, aside from the places you go to and the enemies you fight, which can turn some people away if they aren’t drawn into this immediately like others. Secondly, while most of the bosses are completely original, there are quite a few that are repeated several times, which can make them tiring to fight whenever you run into them again. And finally, this is just a personal complaint myself, but it does kinda suck that all of the powerups that you do get throughout the game each have limited ammunition. Sure, it would probably be too unbalanced if they didn’t have ammo limits, but you could still take them away whenever you get hit by anything and be fine, because trust me, given the way this game works, you WILL get hit by something sooner or later.

Overall, despite its lack of variety and repeating bosses, Wild Guns is a fantastic title that has aged incredibly well over the past 30 years, one that manages to keep the gameplay fast and satisfying at all times, while not being too long to the point where you are just hoping it would end at some point. I would highly recommend it for those of you who love old-school co-op games, or any game for that matter with this level of energy and style, because with the right person beside you, I guarantee that you will have a blast with this title. It’s just a shame though that this never got any kind of sequel later down the line. Yeah, it did get a remaster with additional content, but that can only go so far! MAKE WILD GUNS 2, COWARDS!

Game #494

It's a game of abstractions and endless complexity, but the way those integrate might seem confusing to one unfamiliar. Morrowind, if anything, is the greatest simulator of living in a fictional world ever devised. It might not care as much about the monotonies of day-to-day life in a setting like this, unlike some other games, but it immerses you in the culture and land in a way unlike any other.

Everyone hates you, everywhere pushes you away, everything is too strong to be fought and nothing makes a lick of sense. To successfully integrate into the culture of Morrowind is to basically become a scholar of your own; it's highly advisable to just explore towns, do little errands for people and read books, not only because they provide skill-checks, but often the written information is genuinely useful. What you'll find is one part metaphysical mindfuck once you dig too deep, but another part that's a world that characterizes itself perfectly. Most quests you do are just random tasks you're doing for folks, and you're not typically treated like a legendary figure just for engaging in questlines, but you become more intimately familiar with Morrowind itself, and when you've gone around doing enough quests, reading enough books, plundering enough dungeons and stealing enough herbs (like you should) for the right amount of time, you've breathed in the culture of Vvardenfell. When you fulfill the ancient prophecy, it means something; because you've already learned why and how the ancient prophecy matters. Being able to meet a member of the Tribunal or Sixth House is about as impactful as it should be in the lore, and If it isn't painfully clear already, Morrowind's immersion is excellent and it's the iceing on the exploratory cake of the gameplay. Wandering over a hill and finding something enlightening or just plain fucking weird is great, and the game offers you a million ways to deal with it. It's not a game about dialogue choices per-say, but a game of more general choice. There's nothing the game tells you that you can't do due to your build, just stuff you're not as good at, so preparative thinking before every quest can be essential to make the most of your abilities and minimize the worst. Often, you'll find completely unexpected solutions for quests that came solely as a result of your usage of the mechanics, and it always feels rewarding seeing it happen. There's a point in the game where you'll notice there's buildings that you have to levitate up to, just because: hey, there's genuine wizards in this world! That's Morrowind at its best, and it's up to you to see what will work out... or maybe not, cause you can just go explore elsewhere!

Where it loses people is in muddied abstraction; the game doesn't give many dialogue choices, conversations are treated like browsing wikipedia, it's extremely vague about what some things are supposed to represent in animation terms and, while this is all a flaw of not utilizing the visual part of the medium more, it's easily fixable by letting your mind do the work. Walking up as a newcomer and asking about key-questions to random people in the street, often things they won't know about, feels like the equivalent of asking around in a genuine new place, just scrambling to get clues on the area. Having your character not be visually shown missing hits or dodging them might seem tacky, but mentally fill in the blanks and realize that it serves to convey the dangers of Morrowind, and furthermore, that you can reach a point where you're able to dodge thousands of hits hurdling at you; it's just straight up awesome. There's lots of places that really needed more detail, and the AI can be downright laughable, but by the endgame you're hardly thinking of that because it fed into your growth so well the whole time. For all these abstractions, weirdly complicated mechanics, missed opportunities or immersion-killers, it's incredible that you can still feel perfectly immersed as an outlander at the start being beaten down by shitty insects, and be equally immersed as a CHIM-enlightened Telvanni super-mage who can jump across the continent, blast down fireballs strong enough to eviscerate entire cities and summon armies of otherworldly invaders to do your bidding. It's all immersive, and it all makes perfect canonical sense in Kirkbride's Godhead fever-dream; including console commands! It's an unmatched sense of immersion, it's got unmatched storytelling, it's got an unmatched power curve, the exploration is wonderful, and it has a setting more fascinating than any other fantasy world... well, barring maybe one exception. Praise the Sixth House, and play Morrowind. Try not to view the slow-walking and missing hits as a negative, but as a necessary part of the games mechanically nuanced RPG mechanics; it's all meant to convey the dream, and you're the Nerevarine, not the sharmat. Go forth on your adventure, unless you happen to not be the one, in which case, your time may come again, Moon-and-Star.