Sonic CD is good and people misunderstand what makes it good.

Sonic already kind of has a problem where people want an extremely specific form of gameplay out of it and mentally disengage whenever it's not scratching that itch. So it's not really surprising that people dislike CD so much with its 'playground' mentality to level design; aimless and chaotic routes that weave inorganically with each other doesn't facilitate the speedrunning flow that people want from the classic sonic model. But that's kind of the point from an aesthetic sense? I always took the ruptured level design as a complement to the game's narrative themes of untainted nature becoming abruptly industrialized, and that messy stylistic relationship gets reinforced further by both soundtracks: JP bringing out the dreamlike pop that NiGHTS would later champion, while US is more overtly ominous and uncomfortable. The game wants you to feel that environmental conflict between the harmonious chaos of Little Planet's flora while being corrupted by Robotnik's bizarre machines. Even from a gameplay standpoint, there's still a lot of fun to be had in learning how to workshop optimal routes for time trials. There's a reason the stages are so short and the game rewards you so heavily for those time attack scores.

The only major failing that I think makes CD hard to come back to is that for how open-ended its levels are, it doesn't give you a lot of incentive to explore them. The metal Sonic generators and transporters are the only objects that occupy these stages and reward you for trekking around. But I also don't really know what the design solution to this would be: Adding spontaneous collectibles could easily turn exploration into a begrudging chore and take away from the freedom of exploring levels at your own pace. On the flipside, I think the existence of special stages as an alternate means for unlocking the true ending is kind of genius: You can take the exploration route, or stick to the Sonic formula of platforming fast, and this duality supports the franchise's long-running depiction of their character's agency and motivations. Sonic is more than just being the hero; he's doing it his own style and he won't change.

I hope CD being ported again via Origins doesn't introduce another wave of jaded thinkpiecers trying to tout CD as the 'overrated letdown' of the franchise. It deserves more appreciation for the ways Sonic's framework allows for experimental design.

perspective shot of the house

peter is sitting on the couch, typing on his laptop
Brian: "Hey Peter what are you doing"
Peter: "Oh hey Bri, I'm reviewing our video game on this neat website, it's so freakin' awesome"
Brian: "Sure, but don't you think writing about your own work would come off as a bit narcissistic"
Peter: "No way, internet celebrities do this all the time. Just like my distant cousin and soulslike v-tuber, Ashley Griffin"
cutaway to Ashley Griffin
Ashley Griffin: "Rap isn't real music"

perspective shot of the house

peter is again typing on his laptop, but is now laying stomach-down on the couch and swinging his legs back and forth while twirling his hair through his finger
stewie walks in
Stewie, chuckling: "Well well well, somebody must be making breakfast 'cause I see an egg cracking!"
long pause
the camera gets a close-up of Stewie
Stewie, looking at the camera with a straight face: "That was a gay joke."
another long pause
the doorbell rings
Peter, yelling towards kitchen: "Hey Meg, make yourself useful and get the door"
Meg: audibly makes this noise
Peter: "Shut up, Meg"
meg falls over and remains there for the duration of the scene
lois answers the front door
Lois: "Well, you must be Cyndi Lauper!"
Cyndi Lauper: "Hello, Lois. It is I, Cyndi Lauper, from 'that one music video your parents won't stop streaming to the tv while guests are over' "
peter walks on-screen
Peter: "What's goin' on""
Cyndi Lauper, hands on hips: "Peter, I'm here as a representative of the Lotta Paragraph Games Committee, and we've been receiving some very unhappy messages about your so-called 'review'. Many of our group chat members say it's in poor taste"
Peter: .
Lois, laughing nervously: "Ohhh, I'm sure it can't be that bad,"
Lois, now with a straight face: "Trust me, I know Peter and poor taste"
cutaway to peter sitting in a high chair wearing a bib. Lois is angrily feeding him peas on a spoon
Peter, crying: "I don't wanna! it doesn't even have any Styrofoam marshmallows shaped like my morning cartoons!"
Lois, fuming: "You'll eat it and like it!"
cut back to scene
Cyndi Lauper: "Now, it's perfectly reasonable to be defensive about it, but that's the group consensus going around"
Cyndi Lauper, whispering to Peter: "I even hear them calling it pick-me behavior"
Peter, gasping: "What??? Pick-me behavior??? That's ridiculous! I haven't done anything of the sort! Well, not since high school, anyway"
cut to joe, cleveland, peter and quagmire, in high school, sitting at, each holding a glass of milk
Joe: "My glass is half-full"
Cleveland: "My glass is half-empty"
Peter, doing pensive emoji face: "My glass feels like everyone treats them like a ghost and wishes they would invite them to parties and give them free affection but it's ok it's not really bothered by it it's just venting :("
Quagmire: "My glass is still warm! Giggity giggity giggity giggity!!!"
cut back to scene
Cyndi Lauper: "Well I'm sorry, but if you want to give a better impression to those people, you'll have to put up a new review expressing how you really feel"

shot of the clam

peter, joe, and quagmire are sitting at their booth
Peter, looking at the camera, unimpressed: "Cleveland isn't here with us today so I'm going to say something racially insensitive. Seth will not comment about this for the next 20 years, then reply to a callout tweet about it with the 'clenched teeth oooooh' reaction gif"
Quagmire, looking at Peter: "So Peter, you're saying these guys are upset at your review"
Peter: "Yeah, they say it's not a real review and it's just me bragging about me having my own game"
Joe: "Well Beter, if I were you, I'd update it to include a lengthy manifesto about the idiosyncrasies between our show's cutaway format and the sequential structure of game
Quagmire: "Or you could be like me and name all the characters you wanna bang!"
Peter, excited: "Hey, that's a great idea!"
Joe: "Which idea, the uhh, my idea or the other one"
Peter, now straight-faced: "The other one"
Joe, looking downwards: .

sweeping shot of guadelahara

cut to stewie and brian eating granola and sitting on a rock
Stewie, chewing: "This is the B-plot where we try to make you forget we don't have any other gags about gamer culture"
Brian, also chewing: "I read yaoi during the cutaways"

Two more plot-threads occur over the next 15 minutes, entirely unrelated to the first.

This was awful wtf

So, Mania's strengths come from being a celebration of Classic Sonic's greatest hits, and then building off that. I had this expectation in my head that Superstars could be similar, but not from standpoint of celebrating Sonic itself, but the people who contribute to it - a new title across two developers with a soundtrack featuring old and new artists across the series. Even if the weak links refused to bring their best game (cough cough), there would be something creatively valuable about the grab-bag nature of the final product. And even if it wasn't complex or cinematic in the way 3K and Mania are, it could still be a nice comfort food game, like the 8-bit titles.

The first four zones of Superstars are good, with only a few hangups. And then Lagoon City hits, and the money runs out HARD. The visuals lose all their post-production VFX and lush topology, leaving a naked 3D tilemap and a ugly blurry skybox behind. The level design drops from that golden balance of rolling hills to fangame-tier boxy rooms with nothing but moving platforms and instant death crushers. The 2.5D loops from Bridge Island disappear for the rest of the game until Frozen Base for some reason. The already-sluggish bosses turn into auto-scrollers, the already-terrible boss theme gets replaced with the most embarrassing try-hard drivel I've heard in my life, level mechanics that were already stolen from other Sonic games start getting re-used in later levels (there are FIVE acts in this game with pinball mechanics), and so on.

And I have a right mind to blame Arzest for this side of the shit, cause everything in this game that feels miserable is a flavor they would've saved for whatever shovelware Nintendo would commission them for. The auto-scrollers, earthquake effects that are visually disconnected from the foreground playfield, the re-using mechanics across zones to pad out time, the random shmup section (i say this out of hyperbole but fr the fantasy zone reference is really cute), a final zone that makes you play the same act twice in reverse - tell me this isn't shit that would pop up in a no-name Yoshi outing. I'm a firm believer Sonic needs to diversify its inspirations if it wants to keep flourishing as a franchise, but all of these ideas feel totally incompatible with the structure, expected length and flow of a Sonic game, let alone one with consistently middling/bad level design. The only thing I can't hold against them, is knowing that even if they had better ideas, Sega-Sammy wouldn't have given them the resources to fully-realize it anyway.

If I can be generous, I'll rapid fire a few things I like:
+The snake that weaves across all of Sand Sanctuary is super cool, def my favorite new stage gimmick
+Emerald powers are a great new concept, they just need to replace the overly-context-sensitive ones. Fire/Timestop/Clones/Vines can stay, Vision/Water can go
+Trip's cute and really fun to play as and I look forward to fans injecting her into a better game

(side note - out of all of Jun's songs, most songs with good melodies are arranged mostly fine here (i like sky temple and press factory 1), and the ones that sound like ass aren't good compositions in the first place, so, my condolences to fan remixers trying and failing to salvage them)

Maybe I would've liked this more if I played it at a different time. I'm working on a vaguely Sonic-styled platformer as I write this, and who's to say that's not making me pickier about what 'belongs' in a game like this. I look at 3K, and I look at the sense of impact and propulsion that goes on in the balancing act of automation and platforming, and I really want to replicate that in a different structural context - so when I play this, and that philosophy is absent, it pisses me off. I could easily see myself replaying this in 2-3 years and coming out with a glowing smile.

But on the other hand, everything I liked here is done equally good in other Sonic games too.

And sixty fucking dollars holy SHIT-

“What you see is what you get: Just a guy that loves adventure!”

| | THE WORLD IS SONIC | |

Naruto-running past you in the park. The bend of a minigolf ball careening wildly between walls and slopes. A bike yanked by gravity down the neighborhood hill. Pinballs smattering between bright lights and crashing machinery. The imaginary running man sprinting beside your car on the sidewalk, leaping over the streets and pedestrians.

Universe Is Sonic.

Neon colors and sharp, fashionable vectors. A nostalgic minor fourth. A ‘docx’ file with elaborate descriptions of an unknown figure’s likes, dislikes, origins and realities. 444,600 results on the world’s most popular art website. 240p anime playlist from 2009. Playground rumors, cosplay, metal remixes, YM2612 emulation, physics, debate, AMV, theatrical film, CMYK, baseball caps, webcomics, lawsuits, and designer shoes.

As a game and character, Sonic’s freedom-loving spirit and energy transcends barriers, beloved by people of all gender, ethnic, racial and neurological spectrums.

Sonic Is Universe.

| | THE CRINGE IS SONIC | |

Sonic in the modern eye is an object of ridicule and an ethereal mascot of the cringe culture boogeyman. You can’t so much as acknowledge Sonic’s existence without drawing ire and daft comparisons to princess-kissing, vertical-glitching, gun-toting embarrassment.

The Genesis originals were born out of anti-Nintendo competition - a story not worth repeating, but it’s notable for being a conversational millstone around the franchise’s entire existence. At every point in time, Sonic as a video game has strived to be its own style, but the marketing factors around it prevent the larger gaming press from seeing it outside any contrast but ‘how does this compare to Mario?’. An exhausting scenario that not only neglects the franchise’s individuality, but glosses over the figurative and literal development hell that’s plagued Sonic Team at the hands of Yuji Naka and SEGA’s business personnel.

| | SUITS RUIN EVERYTHING | |

Sonic did not have a rough transition into 3D.

It DID, however, have a violent transition into post-console SEGA.

At every turning point of history, Sonic has been unable to outrun tight deadlines and under-financing, with Sonic 1 being pitched at a point in time where Sega was aghast to the idea of spending more than 3 months time on a single video game, and 2 and 3K both rushed to meet consumer demand among growing trends. The final straw was the financial failure of the Dreamcast. With Sonic jumping multi-platform and creative leads wanting to market the series to every possible age and console demographic, the games had to cover ten times as much ground with only a fraction of the budget. SA2 was produced with only a third the staff of SA1, Heroes was infamously rushed, Shadow was born out of SEGA’s interest in pulling the mature crowd, etc etc. Sonic 06 was the killing blow, with its budget cut in half so Naka could produce a Wii spin-off, also at a time where the entire industry was struggling to adapt to shoddy 7th gen hardware and hi-fi design trends. The creative endeavors of Sonic Team never wavered, yet the environmental factors and outright stupidity of The-Powers-That-Be doomed the series.

| | THE CHILD IS SONIC | |

I was spinning my arms really fast, fists in a circle in front of me. They were spinning like feet. Sonic’s feet. Woosh.

| | NOSTALGIA AND SELF-EMBARRASSMENT | |

Sonic’s combination of unique design and unfortunate circumstances invites a loud, volatile fanbase - though ‘fan’ is maybe too charitable to a culture that is encouraged and rewarded for hostility. Youtubers, journalists, and influencers with no qualification whatsoever in game design all flocked to Sonic like vultures darting at a lion’s carcass, quick to reinterpret the series’ financial struggle as a fearmonger against progress. “Sonic can’t be 3D! Sonic’s friends are invalid! Sonic can’t compete with Mario! The classics were better!” It’s a conversation that is 100% functionally impossible to avoid in any long-term discussion of the hedgehog. A conversation loud enough for SEGA to hear and take to heart.

Since 06, Sonic games have been extremely reluctant to embrace themselves as what they’re meant to be, trying to cater not just to more audiences across the consumer board, but to malicious posers who don’t have a goddamn clue what they’re talking about - and ultimately, no interest in the games for what they truly are. The writing’s on the wall, everywhere from Colors-onward works featuring Saturday Morning writers that equally see Sonic’s adventures as one big noodle incident, to constant callbacks in unnatural 2D sections and much-aligned Green Hill revivals. There’s been tons of great moments and projects born within the cracks, but there is a universal truth that must be acknowledged: Post-06 Sega is embarrassed of Modern Sonic.

| | CULTURE PANIC: VULNERABILITY, INSECURITY AND CONFRONTATIONALISM | |

Sonic Frontiers is announced with the most bafflingly poor marketing approach in the entire industry. The ‘Sonic is bad’ cycle starts up again and journalists continue to rake in the hate clicks.

Then demos and invites to events start getting thrown to press. And all of a sudden, coverage is, positive? Reactions are optimistic and excited? Not just from Sonic fans, but from the journalist sphere as a whole?

It has a full 4-year development cycle and actual funding???

The road to Sonic Frontiers’ release triggered an insane frontload of anxiety into the internet, and bad-faith content creators were quick to profit off of it. Pre-release reactions have been nothing short of chaotic, with moments ranging from attacks at Ian Flynn, doxxing, in-fighting about the most microscopic movement design details, and so on. I couldn’t help but be exhausted by how much effort nay-sayers were putting into starting discourse when they could just move on to a game series they do like.

And then it hit me.

Sonic critics love Sonic, but are really, really embarrassed to admit it.

Sonic takes an extreme vulnerability to love because it's a series about being emotionally vulnerable - like Kingdom Hearts. They’re loud, sincere stories that breed affection, love, self-identity, - bullet points that attract ire, the same way a 5-year-old dismisses a Disney princess flick for ‘being girly’. And people are really harsh to admit it, because it’s easier to pass it off as ‘bad writing’ or ‘cringe’, interfacing with canon exclusively through ironic layers - but why else would they stay invested in a series for so many decades if there wasn’t something deeply personal they were getting out of it?

The cause-and-effect of this was that Sonic fans - that being, people that love the series, stories and games, unfiltered from irony - became INCREDIBLY anxious about their interest in it. It's not hard for that to happen when 90% of your community is on the spectrum and already endures abject hate for the crime of Being Different.

Objectivism became weaponized against fandom, and is the reason why we have theorycrafters debating every little detail of every single game - millions of arbitrary, asinine ‘’’’design’’’’ tests that each game has to be rotoscoped underneath. And whenever people do like something in the series that fails to meet objectivism, they have to conform to the ‘haha, it’s cringe, but i like it :)’ moniker - the only acceptable way to phrase affection to 3D Sonic today. It’s a perpetual motion machine.

For me, Frontiers discourse became too overwhelming and I did the smarter thing of distancing myself from it until I could actually play it. It was all just so much to take in, that I couldn’t even put any energy into getting excited for Frontiers announcements - because what if it didn’t meet expectations? What kind of discourse would I have to be surrounded by for the next 4 years? How many young fans who did love the game would be ridiculed and bullied by grown-ass adults over this shit, again, as the case has been for over 20 goddamn years?

| | SONIC FRONTIERS IS OUT | |

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhholy fucking shit dude

| | THE ARCHIVE IS SONIC | |

Battle Network is really cool. The internet is bright and wild.

Loose data, like thoughts flowing in the mind.

Is it possible to explore them, and would I want to if I could…?

| | OPEN ZONES AND CYBERSPACE: DICHOTOMY OF NOISE | |

Sonic Frontiers splits gameplay between the more experimental, sandbox-y open zone islands and the traditional, focused boost stages in cyberspace. While this change means that most of Frontiers lacks proper level design (something that’s really important to Sonic being a good platformer), Sonic Team traded off by min/maxing every facet of control possible. Almost every move Sonic’s been able to pull off since Adventure 1 is here in a single, cohesive moveset, and you’re given free reign to tweak individual acceleration, turning and speed parameters in the options. This is the best Sonic has ever felt in a 3D space, period.

Open Zones are deceptively-addicting to explore, arguably doing the shtick better than some of the games it was inspired by. The worlds are a really odd bunch; barren, realistic ruins populated by inorganic clusters of stock platforms, rails and obstacles. It looks cheap at a screenshot’s glance, but suits the game tonally and facilitates world traversal by allowing you to jettison ahead to your map markers while constantly taking detours into gimmick sections for goodies at a whim. It’s not seamless, but that’s what makes it cool: You, as Sonic, are physically breaking the seams of the world to burst around wherever you want. If this isn’t some of the most metal game design of the entire series, I don’t know what could give it a run for its money.

Cyberspace is for the traditional boost gameplay, contained ala the BOTW shrines. It’s hard to hype these up because they re-use old assets and stage layouts, but it works out because they find a way to contextualize it in the story really well, and Sonic’s improved gamefeel makes these stages feel pristine. Playing these returning SA2 and Unleashed/Gen maps with the most precise-yet-forgiving movement the series has ever is sublime, and more than anything, it was the first time I played Boost-formula Sonic and felt like I was the one controlling the world instead of being confined by it. There’s so many opportunities for tech, skips, and smooth recoveries, that it makes the prior games obsolete in terms of functionality. Only thing I don’t like about them is the 2D stages, which still feel too static and uneventful for this type of moveset.

When both of these gameplay formats are put together, a near-perfect loop is created. I treated open-zone as a jungle gym to throw myself around in, wander aimlessly and be rambunctious. It’s a loud, intoxicating environment with a lot of shit trying to take your attention away, like an abstract painting. And when it all gets to be too much, cyberspace becomes this therapeutic retreat, to refocus your senses on a more concrete and goal-driven game style.

| | THE WOUND IS SONIC | |

I remember being angry over video games. I was a sore loser when he beat me at Sonic. I cared more about video games than family.

Does he still think about it?

| | NOSTALGIA: MEMORIES AND THE PAST AS A VESSEL TO THE FUTURE | |

Frontiers’ content is nostalgia-heavy, as has been the case for Sonic since 4 ep1, but it’s not as a fandom safety blanket this time: It’s thematic (It’s also to save money, but we already established Sonic is expensive and Sega penny-pinches, so, what’s the use in complaining lmao). Old franchise concepts that haven’t been touched forever get re-introduced and given proper lore, relevant to both the franchise’s long-running chronicle and the immediate plot. Sonic’s not traveling through old levels just for retro funsies; they’re actual distortions of his memories of his old adventures that the cyberspace computers are making him re-experience.

And that's the hook: Ian Flynn’s prose benches heavily on memories, as ethereal feelings and concepts to directly interface with. The central antagonistic force is the ancient technology of Starfall islands, imprisoning Sonic and co. between their physical and spiritual selves. Sonic escapes its effects at first, but has to absorb its negative after-effects to free Amy, Tails and Knuckles. Coming from other games, you’d expect to save them at the end of the world, have a ‘thank you’ moment and move on; instead, you save them at the start of the world, and they accompany you throughout,. It’s a good setup for giving these characters screentime and development that they haven't seen in decades, but it’s also to depict the trauma and subsequent healing they experience. Everyone remains hurt from the cyberspace exposure after being rescued, and Sonic plays the role of a mediator to their struggles. He’s a bit dismissive to them at first - wanting to rush ahead, ‘gotta go fast’, ‘outrun my demons’ and stuff, - but he’s quick to empathize with their pain. He doesn’t try to ‘solve’ their problems or wrestle into their mind, but reaches out as a shoulder to cry on: Asking how they feel, making them feel strong for bearing through it, and sharing sentimental memories as they go. And the way he interfaces with the cast beautifully illustrates the differences in relationships he has with everyone: Being tender and mentor-like to Amy and Tails, but having a more dude-bro and silently-acknowledged heart-to-heart with Knuckles (he also flirts the shit out of him).

| | ARTIFICIAL HEART: GOSSAMER BETWEEN THE COGS | |

Data-centric technology has fundamentally changed all facets of humanity, our self-expression, and our forms of communication. We embrace some parts of it, and reject others, all based on differences in fundamental and ethical values.

AI is contentious: A hyperbolic name assigned to the programming concept of automation through observation and repetition of pre-configured or adaptable parameters. We come to understand it through the lens of a fake being that cherry-picks choices for you, and that’s Silicon Valley’s most vainly-spoken application of the concept - but, AI really just means ‘we programmed a non-human thing to make choices based on data we feed it’. Your YouTube recommendations are AI. Your Tinder matches are AI. The shitty SNK boss that stole your laundromat quarters is AI.

We all know and experience a ‘gross’ brand of AI, especially in the Musk-dominated dystopia. Self-driving cars that have and continue to kill living human beings, by design. Advanced militarization of robotic dogs and walkers, that have and will continue to kill and terrorize in the name of capital. Basement-dwelling gremlins that twist and distort humanist works of art into algorithm-blended, eye-straining canvas smears. Social media platforms that actively reward dissention and misinformation. The literary world of artists is all-aware of this, and it’s not even remotely a new concept: From as early as the 1930’s and beyond, the wondrous-yet-horrifying automaton is the tropal prefigurement of action and sci-fi.

And Sonic loves this shit.

Sonic’s most common adversaries are Eggman’s and others’ robotic creations, and a recurring trope in their stories is the tried-and-true ‘robot becoming human in spirit’ jam session. They’re also some of Ian Flynn’s favorite characters to write - in turn, his best. The ever-iconic Metal Sonic’s core identity is a facsimile of another, and his perpetual identity crisis feeds his rage across both the games and comics. Gamma is the fandom favorite, with his tear-inducing story of silent sacrifice and redemption in the original Adventure. Omega’s militarian specs and transparent honesty make for a character that’s perpetually direct to friends and foes alike, violently deadpan in his own vocab-broken way. These characters shine high not just as individuals, but for their ability to foil the flawed, creatural cast of heroes.

Sage - Frontiers’ new token OC, - is one of the best because she’s the most gently-overdriven version of the unfeeling automation, while taking on the most distinctly-human appearance and mannerisms of a Sonic series robot to date. The ultimate planeswalker between data and spirit; a character whose snark and bitterness is always hard to discern as a product of AI or personality. She’s number-obsessed, living solely on the wings of objectivism, while having to deal with Sonic’s mind-on-my-sleeve, impulsive bullshit. She’s so impossibly strong of a character at all of the story’s best moments, and I’m desperate for her to get inducted into the mainline cast going forward. I’d love to gush so much more about her and the overall plot, but these beats are better fresh and unspoiled.

| | THE VECTOR IS SONIC | |

Drawn spiky hair is beautiful. It blows in the wind like a warm flame.

Somehow the wind never blows the flame out.

| | CHRONOLOGICAL CHOIRS | |

Music is the undeniable strongest and most consistent part of the Sonic experience. Across jazz fusion, house, disco, butt rock, metal, EDM and trance, Sonic takes the people's sounds and twists them in a way wholly unique to video games as a medium.

Frontiers is very subdued by comparison - arpeggiated melodies that are felt passively and not heard, ambient overworld music that soothes never announces its presence, and cyberspace techno that drives action but never speaks over it. I couldn’t name many individual songs that match the hybrid beauty of past games, but it works great in-context and is a great change of pace. Listening to an overt melody on repeat over the course of hour-long traversal sessions is a recipe for disaster, and they found a good way to keep the musical spirit alive without having it grate.

Of course, all the angst and energy was built up and released for the titan boss themes, and GOD DAMN they go H A R D. Pent-up, cannon-fired emotions are a nonstop driver of Sonic’s penultimate tracks, but nothing can compare to the unbridled screamers Frontiers fires out in its few-but-fantastic moments.

| | ! ! ENJOY YOUR FUTURE; IT’S GONNA BE GREAT ! ! | |

Frontiers had me singing along with the larger fandom ‘Sonic is back’ - but that’s not new, is it? We heard it after Colors, riding on the short-term pessimism of ‘it doesn’t have cringe!’. We heard it after Generations, only for its follow-ups to start from square one with terrible Mario knock-off design and horribly milquetoast cartoon tie-in games. We heard it after Mania, only for Forces to be ‘just okay’ as an unfinished budget title.

Why does saying ‘Sonic is back’ feel so different now?

Because Frontiers is a victory for the future: It’s a Sonic experience that loves its past but embraces newcoming things, celebrates its beautiful cast’s growing character arcs, and experiments in ways that drive ambition rather than insecurity. Like us, it accepts itself as beautiful while understanding the need to break out of its shell. It’s a wonderful, heart-soothing, chaotic piece of work through-and-through. Without a doubt, it’s going to be a permanent sentimental star in many new Sonic fans’ hearts, the same way the Adventure games grew up with me and my generation.

“I now understand why I am here. I made a promise and I’m here to keep it. Today, I put my past behind me.”

SONIC the HEDGEHOG. One of the GREATEST and MOST ATTRACTIVE characters ever thought up. He can run at sound speed, take out enemies in a FLASH, and BEST OF ALL, he's BLUE colored and knows how to handle the FEMALES. SPEAKING of females, the Sonic universe might be classified as HOT CHICK HEAVEN, cause there's such a mess of very BEAUTIFUL and TOUGH women, that it'll make you love the franchise EVEN MORE. And since VALENTINES DAY is around the corner, I've been inspired to make a TOP TEN list of the most BEAUTIFUL female Sonic characters. Grab yourself a SNACK and a glass of ORANGE JUICE, and TRY not to reach through the screen because HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

There are two constants to internet culture: Impact font memes, and the insatiable bloodlust to ascribe solid-but-unconventional sonic games to an abomination against humanity. No case is more clear than with Labyrinth, which gets constantly lauded as the absolute bottom of the franchise's barrel because gamers have zero literacy and can only judge games in hypothetical voids.

Sonic Labyrinth is good.

"But you go so slow" No you don't, the spindash is right there. "But it's so wild and uncontrollable" Uh, get good? Sorry, can you say 'skill issue'? Filtrado? Shit and poop and fart?? It goes in a straight line, you curve it slightly with the d-pad, or stop it with a button. Sonic skids to stop and you have to anticipate that in advance when on the move. That's not janky controls. That's not a lack of testing. That's game design. Learn it, sillies. The contrast between slow walking and risky spindashes DEFINES Labyrinth's design economy: It's an intentional juxtaposition. You can't think of it as platforming, it's more akin to golf: Spindashes are your putt, and walking is for modifying your lay on the green. You are playing a nonstop, high-speed game of mini-golf. Every level is designed intimately around this, with wide boxed areas divided by slopes, doors, springs, and other railed transportation devices. You can't divorce control methods from the environments they are contained in; they're tangential to each other, and Sonic's controls work for these levels, period.

The REAL problem is the last few levels, which are just genuinely terrible, giving 'Labyrinth' its name, expecting you to trudge through poorly-directed mazes of teleporters and gates. 4-3 is basically unbeatable without a map and is what people THINK this game is.

Bosses ain't too hot either, but at least they're easy, with the one exception being 2-4's crab (which SUSPICIOUSLY looks like a gadget twins enemy). The Eggman robot with a feathered helmet is fucking ridiculous-looking; Robotnik commited too hard to the castle bit.

One other critique is the length and visual variety; 4 zones is kinda slim, even as someone who prefers short games. And of those levels, there's only a small amount of level palettes that they distribute between them. There's a lack of distinction per zone that creates the same sense of world other Sonic games have.

Anyway, bottom line, it's good. I stand my ground that careening through its levels is really cathartic, at least until endgame. If you took Kirby's Dream Course and made it a real-time platform game, this is it: The textbook example and a great exercise for it. I think people should have more open-mindedness for the way Sonic games are designed instead of shutting themselves off because it's dissimilar to the traditional speeds and flows that define the classics. People are fully capable of understanding divergent or intentionally discomforting gameplay schisms for so many other franchises, and I will never understand why Sonic specifically is the one who cannot be blessed with that same respect.