The most fun you'll have with this game is talking to the NPCs without having completed their quests. Here are some highlights:

N. Gin: Ah! So beautiful! It is the stuff dreams are made of if you dream about plutonium all the time. I certainly do!

Crunch: What's wrong with you fool? Should'a stayed in school. Don't know what number's bigger than another number. Become an accountant. Go on to bigger things. Instead, you a chump. A chump that can't count. Crunch needs the coins, and brush your teeth: looks like a checker board in there.

Also N. Gin: Wah I'm crying because... I'm not pretty! Please Crash, bring me something that will make me pretty.

Cortex: Crash. Can you help me out? I need power crystals for my weapon of mass... helping people.

I love N. Gin: I know your weakness Crash: Bullets!

How refreshing to see a Resident Evil game not take itself too seriously. RE4 manages to work in amazing concept and memorable moment one after another across a lengthy campaign while maintaining laser-focused core gameplay.
While not particularly scary, the game still boasts a gripping horror aesthetic which feels right at home with the other RE games. However, 4 adds enough new gameplay renovations to make it stand out, not just from its constituents within the franchise, but from any game this review has ever played.
Nothing about this experience feels pretentious or angsty. While I respect other RE games before and after for furthering a story, creating lore and defining a genre. I will always admire RE4 for bluntly saying, 'you know what, we just want to make a damn fun game,' and they delivered.

It had been too long since I reviewed a five-star game.

I have nothing but respect for Ocarina of Time for its development of the franchise and impact on the medium of video games but how can I consider it a perfect game if Majora's Mask improved on every single aspect of it: providing better-developed side characters, better dungeon design, a thicker atmosphere, better side quests, much better 100% completion, a balanced currency system, a more unique and thematically-rich story, gameplay that simultaneously feels more varied and less gimmicky, subtle-yet-interesting worldbuilding; Look, I could go on, but I need to make dinner soon.

The game's unforgettable, haunting story walks the fine line between the the uncomfortable and the absurd beautifully; The collectables are so balanced and the objectives so meaningful, I found almost everything without the use of a guide despite not playing the game in years; The unique story structure makes a strong argument for video games as a medium for this story wouldn't have worked as well in any other form; The deft storytelling, meaningful character interactions, and clever item placements add a great deal of depth and worldbuilding to Termina without ever breaking the game's pace; And, seriously, I'm starting to get hungry! Let's wrap this up.

I acknowledge Ocarina of Time as the more important and groundbreaking game. And, if I can be honest, Wind Waker HD is still my favorite Zelda game for personal reasons, but Majora's Mask is still about as good as video games get if you ask me. We're still talking about it more than twenty years later, and we'll be talking about it twenty years from now.

Alright, I'll go make dinner. I'm having pasta.

I've found a new game to play every October.

I love the aesthetics of this game so much: The excellent music and designs that walk a perfect line between disturbing and cartoonish, Tim Burton would be proud. The main character has a really novel backstory and the short levels are excellent for anyone looking to play the game in short bursts. The writing can be pretty amusing as well.

Sadly, It's true that most of the other characters are forgettable, the combat is really basic, and the weapon degradation system is Breath-of-the-Wild levels of frustrating. Most upgrades are also pretty redundant, mostly serving the same purpose and replacing a weapon you just got, making progression somewhat unsatisfying.

In summary: I didn't think MediEvil was anything groundbreaking, but I did think it was a lot of fun, and perfect game to get me in the mood for Halloween.

A redemption, a rebirth, and a reinvention.

There is no better example of a game I never knew I wanted. The ending of God of War 3 rung hollow for me, and the oversaturation of mediocre content and lack of creative ingenuity the franchise displayed afterward made me ready to hang up the blades of chaos and explore newer, more inventive titles. I'm pleased to report that God of War PS4 is everything a bad God of War title isn't.

The incorporations of Norse mythology are inspired, weaving a rich, unique world nothing like what we would see in the PS2 titles. The cinematography captures the strong facial animations and both the strong vocal performances and excellent score ensure the experience will be just as much a feast for the ears as the eyes. The excellent combat system allows you to fight iconic Norse monsters with satisfying weight behind your attacks, incorporating whichever approach to combat you would like. This game is a huge technical marvel and a bold advancement, not only for the franchise but for video games as a medium.

However, the game is not perfect. This game clearly took inspiration from the original Dark Souls, and much like that game, I think this game created an incredible framework that shook the foundation of video games as a medium, but the execution of that framework was flawed.

God of War PS4 is infamous for a lack of enemy variety, most notably among sub-bosses; the game should have taken more advantage of the pantheon of Norse characters, as there were only a few and some (most notably the villains) weren't as fleshed out as they should have been; the game also suffers from uncompelling side-objectives and some tedious travel and item collection; Oh, and I can't stand Nifelheim: it's my second-least-favorite location in any God of War game. I'm glad it's optional and I appreciate Ragnarök for completely changing it, but I would have preferred if it were removed altogether.

In summary, this game is still incredible. You don't need me to tell you to play it, but play it. Also, if you liked my review, be on the lookout for my review of the sequel, especially if you're mad that I don't consider this one of the greatest games ever made. It may take a while for me to compose all of my feelings about Ragnarök, having just finished it, but boy am I looking forward to talking about it.

"Open your heart to the world as you have opened it to me, and you will find every reason to keep living in it."

When I opened my heart to God of War Ragnarök, I was enthralled by a thematically rich, character-driven story. For as satisfying and versatile as the combat was, I often found myself content to look out over a beautiful landscape, putting the controller down and letting the serene environments and magnificent score sweep me through the valleys of Norse Mythology. The climatic boss fights, air-tight pacing, meaningful side-objectives, and distinct, layered side characters shredded any issues I had with the 2018 game into non-existence. God of War 5 is a profound achievement, taking the medium of Video Game to its bleeding edge and providing a meticulously-woven, epic, fun, beautiful, and unforgettable experience.

"To grieve deeply is to have loved fully." I love this game. I've had experiences with this franchise spanning back nearly twenty years, and I'm sad to see it go, but I think this is time. I can't see the majesty of this game ever being succeeded by any other God of War game, and I believe it is time to move on.

I cannot recommend enough, open your heart to this game and live in its world for a time, and you'll find some of the best the medium of video games has to offer.

Battle for Bikini Bottom this is not.

Cosmic Shake made me appreciate BfBB a lot more: The hallway level design with no room for exploration made me appreciate how expansive BfBB's levels were; the confusing, overelaborate narrative of Cosmic Shake made me long for BfBB's elegant simplicity; CS's abundance of forgettable, tacked-on minigames and side-modes made me remember BfBB's excellent gameplay balance; and the lameness of Cosmic Shake's boss roster made me long for the grandeur of Robot Patrick.

I was re-watching classic Spongebob a few weeks ago and a season four episode somehow got mixed in with season three. I watched it, and the downgrade in quality was immediately apparent. The episode, while decent, was so much more generic, had less heart, and just wasn't as funny. It made me remember how special Classic Spongebob was: the first three seasons truly were lightening in a bottle and it's important not to take them for granted. The later seasons have their moments, but the magic of the classic series can never truly be re-captured. That's essentially how I feel about Battle for Bikini Bottom vs Cosmic Shake.

Cosmic Shake is a fine way to spend a few hours if you're a diehard fan. But, if you go in expecting something that will live up to Battle for Bikini Bottom, you'll be disappointed.

Wow, I am getting myself in serious trouble with this review score. Alright, I've got skin in the game now, so let's keep going.

The aspects of TotK I found disappointing were outright unforgivable: it fixed almost none of my problems from the previous game, which I already think was very flawed. TotK kept BotW's weak combat system bolstered by the same weapon degradation mechanic no one likes; it copies the story structure point-for-point even though diehard BotW fans can admit the story was the weakest part of it, and TotK managed to tell an even weaker story with more plot holes, worse storytelling, and more timeline nonsense; The map, most enemies, and most of the side characters are copy-and-pasted from the previous game, making this feel more like an expansion pass than a new campaign. The only flaw from BotW that was fixed was the boss roster: these bosses are actually pretty decent, but they aren't enough.

This game may offer expansive exploration, but I found this exact map sparse and underwhelming in 2017, and I feel the same way now. The new layers of the map were a good touch, but the sky is so barren and the underground is so bland that it doesn't add much.

The only thing in the entire game that feels exceptional at all is the building mechanic. You can get wonderfully creative putting those contraptions together, and I'm sure people have had hours of fun just fiddling with it. But, while using Zoni parts to make a Hylian airplane or a rolling execution chamber is fun, if I can only have it at the expense of a compelling story, strong characters, varied combat, new enemies, a new map, and any of the thematic brilliance or narrative innovation Zelda games have enraptured me with for as long as I can remember, then it wasn't a good deal.

I got through about half the shrines, and then I just hit a wall with this game; I really didn't want to play anymore, so I rushed to the end and experienced the game's disappointing ending which, just like every other aspect of the story, was lifted from the previous game and done worse. The ending rung so hollow for me, and I don't see myself ever revisiting the game.

I tolerated many of the aforementioned flaws I noticed in BotW because that game was new, innovative, and took so many risks. I never agreed that it was one of the all-time greats, but I agreed it laid the foundation for such a game. I thought a sequel could grasp that unused potential and create a game I liked every bit as much as everyone else liked BotW, and I was very disappointed.

Do you want to know why my expectations were so high? Because, about half-a-year ago, I plaid God of War Ragnarök. That game is everything this one should have been. Taking the previous game's foundation, and fixing every single narrative and gameplay problem I had; providing an excellent story, endearing characters, great performances, fun combat, enemy variety, adding new themes to the story and new development to the characters, and making re-used maps feel fresh with new assets and seasons. I can't expect every game to be GoW 5, that game really is one of the all-time greats, but the idea that some people are giving TotK perfect scores when games like GoW 5 exist just baffles me. That game deserves five stars; this one is getting three.

I know I got really negative while writing this review, and I don't fault people for enjoying this game, for there is definitely fun to be had with it. But, for me, the best thing I can say about Tears is that I no-longer need to wonder what my least-favorite mainline Zelda game is. Clearly everyone else will be satisfied if the next Zelda game follows this exact formula with few changes or improvements and good for them. But, if this trend continues, I'll be playing something else.

This game doesn't need a sequel; it can have a remake if it wants one.

The ethereal world and mystifying story of Bloodborne will captive me no matter how many treks I make through Yharnam. I've plaid Bloodborne many times, yet I feel I've only just begun to appreciate its visceral combat, immaculate art design, unforgettable dialogue, and variation in character build and gameplay progression. How this game manages to be something so familiar, yet so distinct; so simple, yet so complex; so streamlined, yet so customizable. The majesty of FromSoft's work has left me at a loss for words. I don't often say this, but I wouldn't want a sequel. This game left every piece of its story, world, and lore where it needed to be, and I'm happy that the studio is still making creative, new projects; they've made more games I love since.

We'll never have another game like Bloodborne, but I don't see that as a bad thing. And, having just started Elden Ring, I can tell that FromSoftware will continue to amaze with new titles and ideas.

I used to think I hated this game, but I was just completely indifferent to it.

The original trilogy was very flawed, but also very inspired. So, when you follow up a unique, mature, and well-written trilogy of games with one of the most generic, neutered, and un-original children's platformers I've ever played, the backlash is understandable.

I have so many complaints about Thieves in Time: from the childish writing which clashed hard with that of the previous games, to the gimmicky gameplay lacking depth or ambition, to the weak story loaded with missed potential, to the flaccid cast of characters featuring easily the worst rough's gallery of any Sly Cooper game (El Jefe is the only one I can take seriously and Le Paradox is one of the worst villains I've every seen in a game). I have so many complaints to make, but none of them feel worth making (Except the one about Le Paradox, f*ck Le Paradox).

I'm so dispassionate about Sly 4 that it took me nearly a decade to re-play it and several days to crank out this review. The game is competent enough that I can't be angry about it, but if it were shockingly bad, I'd at least have more to say. As is, this game will leave my memory very soon, and I'll have made room for new games.

For all my problems with the first three games, I respect their maturity and ambition enough that I'll still revisit them in the future, but, for me, Thieves in Time is staying in the past.