A game so fucking awful it made every other game in the genre unpalatable to me (except Fallout 76 for some reason). The games claim to fame is that it has meters for quite literally everything involving the human body and it turns out there's a good reason over-designed byzantine bullshit in games isn't more common. If you care about that sort of thing go to medical school, at least then you'll get paid handsomely for your effort and won't have to carefully manage the fingerless glove meter.

I played this with a friend years ago and I said out loud "I am not having fun" multiple times. I cannot think of a bigger mark.

Ubisoft is a right wing company.

Yeah, sure, they use women and gays in their marketing but you have to understand that it's all in the same way republicans have started to use them; as gizmos from a toybox of image. And the thing about toyboxes is that you'll grow old of them and throw them away.

Otherwise, from Serge Hascoët yelling out "There's a monkey on the screen!" when he first saw the trailer to The Force Awakens, to Tom Clancy's The Division where the first third of the game is curiously about shooting black men who deal extra melee damage, to Far Cry 5's inexplicable "hey maybe the christofascist child groomer cult had a point about forever wars" end, to Tom Clancy's Elite Squad honest to god "George Soros Funds BLM to destroy the west" conspiracy plot that they had to patch out to be less fascist because it launched only a week after George Floyd's death, to hiring people who post "rapefugee" and "holohoax" memes (this is a personal anecdote and unfortunately considering their lax attitudes to sex crimes I don't have faith in Ubisofts HR team to respond to it), the company is just straight up Hitler.

If you think they are woke you are morbidly incorrect. In fact, they're on your side! Have fun reconciling with that the next time you repost a /v/ greentext about how Red Dead 2 is shit because Arthur Morgan doesn't have a dedicated lynching button or whatever. For everyone else, particularly on this site that tends to lean left, that might be your cue to stop buying their games.

So how about the game?

I played a few hours, it sucks. It's the same Far Cry 3 you already played except now its several magnitudes more annoying. I was on board with the idea of an urban far cry after 9 years of forests and rural areas, maybe make a more consistently fun version of Homefront: The Revolution, but the game is quick to turn around and say, "Fuck you! You're stuck on the mmo tutorial island you dumb fuck! Enjoy your destiny hub and questgivers asshole! Eat shit! Slop is my politics, slop is my life!"

Wow, thanks. I'm never leaving the island and I'll keep that in mind when I review your game on backloggd dot com.

I'm sure you can find a breakdown of the politics of this game but it's funny how thin the illusion is this time. They had to put out a statement that their game about DIY imperialism has no bearing on reality. Cuba is just a mass hallucination, deary. Oh whats that, Cuba, which we established doesn't exist, has a lung cancer vaccine that the US forbids you from trying to get? Well... uhh.... it turns out the vaccine gives you more cancer, because its made out of tobacco or some shit. You know how the cubans love their cigars? quick throw in a few more words the gringos won't understand in the middle of the dialogue. (That's me, by the way! I'm the gringos!)

I feel like Phil Lord has 200 hours in this game. Actually, let's put that to the test: can someone ask him for his playtime in Far Cry 6? I checked and he not once tweeted about the game.

Is there a positive? Sure, but its not even related to the game-- Xcloud runs really well! I put it on a steam deck and minus some oversteering when im aiming its largely playable...

...You should play a better game on it though.

It's bad!

I am Almir DESTROYER OF PAYDAY 2, please buy my new game Payda-
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It's Payday 2 but now it looks like an early PS4 game. Come back in 5 years when one of two things happen: either the game gets good, or Overkill's wikipedia page will be written in past tense.

A really good idea worn down by poor execution. When it works, it works, but that is not the wavelength it's operating at most of the time.

-First of all, wow, this is a game that needed a Valve-style clipping pass. This game already takes every available opportunity to kill your momentum so having small objects that block your movement really does not help. I unofficially threw in the towel when Faith decided to clip between a barrel and a railing and was stuck there until I reset the game.
-The level design is not as great as everyone makes it out to be. I cannot think of a more dumber way to lay out your levels after making a movement system that greatly punishes moving your camera sharply than a game comprised largely of sharp turns and areas where you need to use the 180 button to find the next ledge.
-This would be forgivable if it wasn't for the fact the game also wants to put you under pressure and send the armed police after you. The moments where you have minimal resistance and can just make your own route are fantastic; you don't need to make this a shooter or even to have enemies tbh. Just trying to avoid hearing that scary "falling to your death" sound is good motivator to not screw up.
-The shooting is bad!
-Looking around whilst grabbing onto ledges is too slow. climbing up ladders is too slow. climbing pipes is too slow. the slide is too slow. crawling through vents is too slow. Turning that valve is too slow. I'm getting shot at, move your ass!
-A lot of the movement feels scripted and you have less room to play about with the levels than you think. If Faith cannot complete a vertical wall run by grabbing onto a ledge, there's a good chance the animation won't even play at all. Railings will either be a springboard or it won't. They built a free-running game where level entities limit what you can do. Lame!
-Mirrors Edge deserves all the praise it gets for its visuals; good high frequency texture detail and an innovative approach to baked lighting have helped this game age better than almost everything else that came out the same year. However, I would actually avoid playing the game on an OLED display if you can. Even on the lowest brightness and contrast settings this game's bloom and exposure create a legitimately painful experience.
-Soundtracks nice :)

Overall a very disappointing return to a game I last tried when I was like 16.