The day is April 1st, 2024. April Fools' Day! What are some silly pranks I can play on people on such a momentous occasion as this?
I've got a good one! I'll finally play the sequel to that game I hate, and see if it's actually any good.

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I've made it clear enough how much I hate Breath of the Wild, how much it quite literally pains me to play it. Obviously, I wouldn't be looking forward to Tears of the Kingdom either. Especially with just how much they tried to hype it up, like good lord this shit ended at least four Nintendo Directs. Despite all that, I decided to make a fool of myself today and give it a try, thanks to my brother being a BOTW fan in my stead, and purchasing this game back when it released. Be surprised when you hear this: I still don't like it.

I went into TOTK with no intentions of ever finishing it, and certainly no intentions of putting too much time into it. I gave it two hours, finished two shrines, and fucked around with whatever new mechanics they gave me. Shockingly though, I can at the very least admit that I didn't hate the new ideas. I enjoyed fusing items together a decent amount. It's definitely more Zelda than I felt with its prequel.

Unfortunately, there's still the entire rest of the game. The large, open world that has me running in circles for lord knows how long because I can't figure out a way to reach that spot I pinpointed on my map. The open world that I will be begrudgingly slogging through because my stamina doesn't allow me to speed up for any longer than three seconds. The very same open world that ends up giving me a headache if I spend too long in it. I didn't like it then, and I still don't like it now, fun new gimmicks or otherwise.

But hey, that's more than I could say for Breath of the Wild. Given that I had even the slightest amount of fun ever, I can still call it better than the first. It even took a little longer to give me a headache this time around. Maybe next time we can get an actual Zelda game.

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why did i do this?

This game, in the context of its core gameplay and systems, is a step up from the Handsome Jack Era in every single way. However, what it lacks is any compelling narrative, themes or characters. Whilst its nice seeing Lilith and Claptrap again, the game decides to add the most insufferable antagonist of all time being Tyrene (i think that was her name). Tyrene is one half of a set of twins that lead a cult of bandits, the other half is her brother who is so interesting and complex i forgot his name. if this game played like borderlands 2 it would get 1 star.

Ever since the Black Parade released to marvelous acclaim hitting Moddb’s mod of the year for 2023. I couldn’t help but ask myself “Is Thief good?” In an effort to see if the game holds up, I decided to start with the first installment before I inevitably reach the mod down the road. And I must say after 28 hours on expert difficulty. Thief Gold(Thief 1/T1) by Looking Glass Studio. Is a dark, thrilling, and fulfilling experience in reigniting all the checkmarks I like and love in the stealth realm. And I am glad to be back in the genre once again. From my days in Metal Gear, Syphon Filter & Old Assassin’s Creed.

Originally called Thief: The Dark Project. The gold edition adds three new missions to deepen the plot and five new enemies. Edited original missions with a slew of bug fixes. So this feels like a definitive edition. Although I did have to use several mods I’ll detail later on to bring the game up to modern standards.

The premise is simple and you control a single character Garret who is a master thief. With no special powers whatsoever. His days from being a homeless orphan were discarded long ago since he joined a secret order. Years later he leaves and decides to make it on his own. Delving into the path of thievery without remorse to fulfill his greed for money. He is ambitious, selfish, cynical, and an untraditional protagonist. All qualities I don’t like at all for a main character and yet by the time the end credits are rolling, I am very tempted to head right into the sequel to see what’s next in store for him.

Worldbuilding is subtle, dark, and strangely yet fittingly humorous at times. A mix of middle ages, dark fantasy, and on the cusp of an industrial revolution. With lore dropping from scrolls and conversations between guards during their breaks. Offering vital gossip on the citizenry, complaints of co-workers, and my personal favorite lore stories and convenient tips/hints that may connect to the main cast. A method to reach a previously unassailable location. Secrets will be revealed unintentionally and a good eavesdropper should without hesitation use it to their advantage to maximum effect. G-man will also monologue amongst himself and will at times drop interesting commentary during work. Usually comments like being dumbfounded or witty responses to abrupt changes in objectives. A nice change of pace from the otherwise silence permeating while you lurk in the shadows. Parchment readings and books offer insightful lessons and teachings from the factions of Hammerites and the Pagans. Both believe in their gods in a way bordering unhealthy zealotry and are at odds with one another. The supernatural elements took me by surprise many times. Spells, incantations, and rituals are fitting. Inducing a mystical wonder beyond the medieval. Zombies, ghosts, and malformed supernatural creatures are here to stay. Oh, and bugs like mutated spiders I didn’t think were a threat had me running away once I caught sight of them. Seriously, how can they jump so high and shoot acid!? Machinery such as factories, smelting tools, and items with a steady supply of lava provide their citizenry with new forms of artificial light instead of the traditional natural fire to illuminate surroundings. Creating an interesting level design throughout, a blend of medieval housing full of conventional bricks, wooden planks, and pavement with the power of adopting steel into the surroundings.

Quite ingenious for a stealth-based gameplay approach back in the old days. Erase approaches such as shooting from afar with guns or tasing anyone to oblivion. The game operates on a mission structure. Before a mission starts you are given a briefing of the events prior, a chance to buy equipment using gold earned from a prior mission, and a handy, but vague map. Embarking on a new place in the City at various times. Always looking forward to a new place to see the sights and steal whatever I can of course. Sometimes your goals will change during an operation. Good o’l no plan survives contact with the enemy is important to keep in mind. Therefore, caution is advised when conducting skullduggery. But hey Garrett has immensely useful tools to help. No stamina gauge when swinging weapons. Innate ability knocking a bow and arrows. The blackjack is easily the #1 most useful weapon. Capable of one-shotting nearly every enemy into blissful unconsciousness. They never get back up despite hours passing by too! You can move them into shadowed areas preventing patrols from encountering them and thus initiating an alarm at a whole base. Arrows dipped in fire, water, gas, and rope are likewise vital in completing a task. Blasting creatures with fire is like launching a missile capable of damaging multiple enemies. Water aids in dousing torches causing the light in room/s to darken and therefore allowing one mistah G to conduct his activities in better stealth mode than dressing up like an orange ninja from a shinobi world. Gas is powerful. No not fart ones, these kinds if launched correctly can take out groups of enemies into dreamland. Vital when being chased by a horde of angry guards…

Additionally, the rope arrow single-handedly changed my whole experience. Making me think outside the box. Reminds me of using the GLOO gun from Prey and applying the weapon to reach places I wouldn’t otherwise be allowed to exploit regular means. The cable, by comparison, allows one to hit any wooden surface dropping a decent length of string. Becoming instantly available for climbing. As a result, you can traverse higher elevations. Furthermore, one can retrieve their shaft if applicable to re-use once again making the tool highly versatile in nearly any sticky situation he’s subjected to. Trust me you’ll need it when you're at a rock and hard place with nearby zombies closing in on your position with nowhere to run except upon checking your surroundings a wooden beam is above. Maybe a handy tool would surely be useful now.

Level design in every assignment is intricate, maze-like, and deep. Displaying an awesome sleight of hand in the dev’s works to craft initially simple environments then suddenly catching me off-guard by transforming into a large several corridors and passageways leading a lost one into a room full of secrets. It is deep and chock full of hidden areas that can be unlocked from levers, switches, and cleverly tucked away corners. Intrinsically linked in the environment. Delivering a cool verticality and thorough ‘puzzle-like’ solving when applicable. The start of any new venture won’t be the same to some extent in the end portion upon completing all your objectives. You will see sprawling organized streets and then hit unfamiliar ruined suburbs and towns. Dive underwater and emerge in desolate gray caves emerging into a facility of machinery mixed with stone masonry. Similar, but different to how dungeons are made from a certain Zelda series. Full of traps, few floors, and twisting passages that can be confusing to any newcomer unused to the design. One of my favorites is encountering an awesome Pixar-like ‘room’ essentially allowing me to venture inside and somehow escape replicating a [T$%] Story-like design. Someone at Looking Glass has good taste being inspired by the 1995 film huh. And to think this was an optional target I could’ve missed. I. Am. Amazed. Sure the rest of the content isn’t filled to the brim with cool sets like those, but to a degree, they offer a unique hodgepodge of interesting locales to wonder and gawk at least. As a newcomer coming into the series I did not expect at all to admire the sheer size of these levels. Some are more subtle in ways before a certain fire nation attacked delving into the mysticism of earth, wind, and water extending the dev’s creativity to their utmost limit. The elements become more profound and are used intricately as I delve deeper into the endgame. Changing the propensity of manmade structures into natural habitats. Surfaces of the earth and elevating platforms in one section demonstrate the move from traditional simple human paths to complex passageways. Can be confusing at times, but hey remember! You have a handy compass and a map too! So all is not lost. A master thief enjoys establishing their path forward through balanced platforming and embracing the wonders of being lost in the thrill of discovery.

Hell the power to jump provides excellent mobility in areas and the level design pays off in spades demonstrating to great effect. For example, Imagine facing a fort with no possible entryway. Ok well, let me go around to see for any wooden roofs or beams. Voila, there is! Shooting a rope arrow then. I climb and then acrobat onto the rampart. But wait, the door is locked inside! Hmm. The new plan is to head to another rooftop and get inside from there. I climb to the nearest rampart point then give myself a boost and ledge grab my way onto my destination. Successfully entering with no one aware. The ledge grab is super satisfying to enact every time. Although I quickly save before I launch myself just in case I fail. Yet holding the jump button is easy to maneuver and painless to execute.

Almost delving into the point of frustration at times, yet never truly becoming mad to the nth degree I wanted to throw my controller. Perhaps due to the save at anytime system in place making retries quick and painless. It is a relief to operate an easy system to retry failed attempts since most levels are so large. Not an open world at all. Garrett conducts most of his missions at different new locations within the metropolis, which we can explore without a time limit. And there’s always something new to look forward to. I ventured into a manor to steal a scepter. Dived into the pits below to enter hidden caverns and reach a prison facility. Sought treasure in abandoned ruins, boldly stole a precious item between two thieves' guilds, and enacted revenge on a rich dude who tried to assassinate me. Seriously the gall of that guy.

Sound design is brilliant, harsh, intense, and fair. And this is weird. Usually, I praise the heck out of the soundtrack, and while it is good. In Thief I found it more enjoyable to analyze how the gameplay and level design work in tandem with the soundscape. Each step you take and every breath you make is calculated. Go on the steel floor versus carpet and rugs and you can see the clear difference upon nearby patrols. Rugs and carpets muffle your steps while treading on steel produces loud noises capable of making any close enemy's senses go on alert. Any action like swinging your sword, launching an arrow, or even bringing out blackjack to play whack a guard heightens an enemy's awareness. G-dude will exhale after an action and it's gotten to a point where I hold my breath whenever I have a close encounter. Exhaling once the coast is clear. Sights and sounds are interconnected. If you’re in a very dark area, chances are you become neigh invisible compared to a brightly lit room. Staying in the shadows like a sneaky fella pays off. And thankfully, you can stay in a crouched position than a normal pose to conduct your sneaky endeavors. Harsh, but I kid you not I repeatedly felt it was balanced throughout at no point during my time did I feel it was brutally unfair at all times. Rather the usage of noise in this instance facilitates between easy to hard and complex as you dive deeper into the latter stages. As if the devs are saying “Hey, we are increasing the difficulty gradually, no steep cliffs or curveballs.” And I like it. Keeps things fresh and exciting to uncover new hurdles. Supernatural entities like zombies and spirits have this ghastly voice. I found myself with chills crawling up my back. And goodness the regular harmless citizen will shout for help to call attention to your current position. Tension is alive. Stress remains an ever-constant companion when pursued, and patience is needed every day for every hour.

Lastly, I also want to praise the main objectives of missions and AI. The latter for being smart and dumb. Patrols once memorize their route and what their limit is. Abusing their ai becomes rinse and repeat and oh so satisfying. Never waking up after becoming unconscious. Some enemies of different classifications will vary in their sight and danger capability. I.E. Seeing farther and more acutely aware of their surroundings than the usual shmuck of a guard with base intelligence. Think of them as elite guards who have an intruder radar built in updated to version 2.0 than the base version. Hearing better on how loud footsteps are near along with acute 20/20 vision if close in line in sight. This is fascinating and as I progressed deeper into the game, proved once again the devs are challenging me to be better. Goals likewise increase in complexity. You have standard, hard, and expert. Differs from traditional modifiers of upping the enemy's health I usually see in other games. Their parameters increase meaning more tasks to do. A 'normal' setting would indicate one or two retrieve an item and escape. 'Hard' adds a couple more like finding another item in conjunction with the main goal. Expert unleashes a full page of tasks to do. From not killing anyone, finding multiple items, checking with a friend of yours, and attaining a set amount of money all while completing the main quest and escaping to boot. Here are several examples of differences in difficulty. Insane. Furthermore, as I continued with 'expert' on all missions, they largely increased my time in a level due to how large they can be. I usually spent an hour or two depending on the size. Only occurred on max settings. If you try the standard option you can breeze through levels much faster. The addition of higher parameters causes an interesting shift to occur for the player. Thus I had to explore as much as possible, find hidden secrets, embrace the longer plans, being meticulous to survive and not incur any of the killings. The game is much easier killing anyone you come across. But a master thief should never kill. Only retrieve what was ordered and then get out without a fuss.

Time for my mixed feelings. Not a positive or a negative. Just some points from the game I think could be improved, tweaked for the better, and concerns I had. Didn’t affect my overall experience in a major manner.

First, same old, same old textures - Once I saw gray walls, gray bricks, stone pavement, same dirt in more than half of the missions, and frequent density in the latter stages it all became blurred together. Brought up with the maze-like corridors. I felt myself seeing the familiar paths without end. You don’t have a minimap either except a paper map that will vaguely pinpoint where you are. Therefore I had major deja vu. “Haven’t I been here before?” Thankfully, this isn’t egregious and the level variety for what it’s worth elevates everything else. Making it not so noticeable to see constantly. Makes me wonder if the sequel shakes things up a bit with colorful terrain when appropriate. I’m not asking for a rainbow from the color spectrum, merely suggesting slightly distinct patterns.

Second, Some objectives can be a bit vague to find. Like Mission 3. To retrieve the soul of the mystic required me to check everywhere and refer to my papyrus notes for hints and clues. Further, targets or items are not given exact instructions sometimes. Up to you to piece things together. Granted I personally like the non-approach to hand-holding, but some of these goals can be a real head scratcher. If you don’t come across hints and clues, eavesdropping a guard or finding a key to unlock another passageway or door is often the right path forward. Gentle reminder to explore thoroughly. Or use a guide when needed.

Third, May need a tool like a fire, water, or rope arrow to progress. While not required for every assignment. The wire is invaluable and shouldn't be utilized every so often at every opportunity. Elementals to a lesser degree, but still keep them in stock. Most of your inventory is consumables. And while you can find new ammo during a heist, it is best to at least save a decent amount. For situations when you require them. Sucks to use up all of your stock for minor loot grabbed when they may be needed for a critical venture.

Fourth, Wish some missions had health potions available close by. They’re pretty scarce in a job. Some later missions they in my opinion feel needed to help progress rather than me forcing a quicksave and quickload. Saving my health. Enemies can swarm you if you’re not careful and having more health is better than being one-shot. G-guy isn’t some deadliest warrior. So don’t think you can expertly assassinate any bloke. Keep in mind, I played on expert which usually required no bloodshed. Lowering settings offers no restrictions to eliminating anyone.

Fifth, Controls can take some getting used to. I tried keyboard and mouse and found the initial impression cumbersome so I switched to a controller setup and found it far better. Only had to input a couple more keybinds manually and I was fit as a fiddle to steal! Borrow items. I suggest changing them if you feel weird handling your main character.

Sixth, due to the title being more than two decades old I highly recommend some of these mods I installed to grant an enhanced vanilla experience. Most you can find via a respective PC gaming wiki article. I did use a faithful texture pack. Not the popular one. Feel they change the original textures too much. I’ll leave the choice of what pack to choose up to you. I prefer Enhancement Pack 2.0 alpha.

Mods:

Unofficial patch for Thief 1/Gold - “improves compatibility with new pcs significantly, fixes graphic issues, adds support for widescreen resolutions and much more.”

Texture pack - “Replace all the old, low-quality objects and textures from Thief 1 and 2 with versions that have higher polygon counts and texture resolutions, while keeping as close to the originals as possible.” - This is the hardest mod to install. For some reason, the directions given resulted in half of the textures being improperly replaced. Displaying half high quality and half low quality. Inside you need to edit an ini file to put in the correct mod_path. Here is what I had that finally got everything to work. Hope it works for everyone else. If not, your mileage might vary.

mod_path usermods+mods\packfix+mods\candles+mods\EP\Thief1+NecroAge\Thief1+NecroAge+EP2\Thief1+EP2+mods+mods\t2skies+mods\EP+FMdml

Take a screenshot before the mod is installed and after to see if everything worked out. The rest of the mods I didn't have any trouble inputting.

Subtitles - Self-explanatory. In-game there is no option for subs. With this mod, you can read the spoken dialogue instead of straining your ears.

Sound Enhancement Pack - Makes all sound enhanced and not muddled. Providing clearer audio in both speech and sfx.

60 FPS Video Pack - Original videos are in a low resolution. With the video pack, all the videos are replaced with higher framerate and resolution.

Aside from minor tinkering to get the game up to speed and my barely noticeable mixed feelings. Thief shines when unconventional level design meets strong simple foundations in the gameplay to accentuate and enhance both categories. At its worst players(maybe newbies) may have difficulty in grasping the maze-like paths to reaching their objectives along with vague to almost obscure hints to their solutions(not always, uncommon I think). More so on increasing levels of difficulty than normal I feel. The central narrative I expected to be boring. And in turn I was mentally preparing myself for underwhelming. So to my delight, I was extremely glad to be wrong and found myself beset with a decent narrative and ultimately a likable protagonist.

Finally reaching the end of my trail I found Thief Gold impressed me to a degree I can’t stop thinking constantly about the missions inside. I adore it so much I had to hold off on playing the rest of the series so I won’t get burned out if I continue to run-non-stop at every entry. Filled with lengthy missions depending on difficulty and fair gameplay mechanics to tackle in whatever and however manner you so choose. A freedom in gameplay philosophy I love! And honestly its given me more thought to level design in general and the approach of AI to objectives. I encourage anyone to give it a shot. Especially those who love Stealth or dipping their toes into the genre. For those curious about this old title, it still holds up quite well. Especially if you installed mods to bring it up to modern standards. And hey here’s one tidbit I found fascinating. Turns out Ken Levine worked on Thief along with Warren Spector. These guys would ultimately father some well-known titles down the road. Pretty insightful stuff. I bet we're in for Shocking Examples down the road.

8.5/10

References & Additional Material:
Thief Black Parade Mod
Different Examples of Difficulty
Thief 1 Credits
Mods - Thief PC gaming wiki - Thief 1/Gold Unofficial patch - Sound Enhancement Pack - 60 FPS Video Pack - Texture pack
Subtitles

Edited: 4-3-24 - Small correction on Blackjack use. From human to nearly every enemy. Thanks to @blackcat for the correction! After the small edit. 99% of review still intact.

It's meandering.

Fighting a faceless evil as an awkward group that have nothing to do with each other than an interest in preserving humanity.

David Gaider's razor wit and skill in writing characters can only go so far in a game collapsing under the weight of what it wishes to be.

Delivers some of the most flamboyant hand-to-hand. Vigorously punchy, harmoniously arcadey and dynamically satisfying. A kickass Arkham-ization of True Crime's beat-em-up repertoire and frivolous slapstick violence. Comfortably arranged to gunplay and smooth vehicular combat, it's such a groovy playground of punching bags and Hong Kong gangster grittiness. Not everything blends smoothly and perhaps the story is a formulaic one for undercover crime-thrillers, but it's a gnarly sandbox of goofball ferocity and a highly entertaining rumination of a thousand ways to knock someone out. Offers a great lot of enjoyment i don't see in a lot of open-worlds. Underdog, and begs for a sequel.

Survival action horror at its finest, bioshock is a testament to how gripping and thrilling games can be. The story is impeccable with amazing plot twists and development. The main character says fewer words than Hellen Keller but I still feel more attached to them than any character EA and Call of Duty could have ever dreamt of. The environment is flawless and the world building told only through my grandads WW1 radio does a better job at telling a story than his PTSD stricken ass ever could, though that’s not too hard. Andrew Ryan walked so Mr house could run.