Wimpyfox
2023
Looks fantastic, but thats about it. Every dialogue option has about 5 responses, but all of them are meaningless. There are no puzzles, you simply walk up to NPCs and ask "Do you know anything?" then they usually just say no, or they check off your list and you move onto the next area. There is a spark of a brilliant idea, allowing you to create things from balloons, but its never utilised in a creative way, every single time its just, outline this thing we just told you to, then you do it, and the dialogue continues. I wish there was more balloons like the flower (which they make you draw a penis for, for some reason) which actually aids you, but even that you only ever really use when explicitly made to. A system where NPCs teach you balloon layouts that actually aid you in gameplay, that you then just draw in freeform whenever you feel like it would have been much better. The music is good, for a few minutes, then becomes incredibly repetitive and mind numbing. It is also incredibly short due to the lack of any actual puzzle solving/gameplay.
2023
Fun little collectathon. Movement is amazing on mouse and keyboard, really gives a sense of speed unique to this game. But the air dash felt quite poor on controller, which is odd since atleast for me, all the prompts in the tutorial where for controller.
The purple collectables feel rather haphazardly placed at times, like a bit of an after thought in the level design. The rest of the collectables are pretty fun to get, nothing mindblowing or ingeniously crafted, you make your way from A to B, do the things, get the stuff, repeat. Its simple but it works.
Its "surrealist" nature couldve been taken further I think, the secret rooms where cool but just lead up to a rather pretentious and amateurish "THIS IS SUPER FUCKED UP AND SERIOUS NOW AND YOU DIDNT SEE IT COMING" type dialogue exchange.
Also the brilliant claymation style used in all the marketing is nowhere to be seen in the game at all, quite misleading.
The purple collectables feel rather haphazardly placed at times, like a bit of an after thought in the level design. The rest of the collectables are pretty fun to get, nothing mindblowing or ingeniously crafted, you make your way from A to B, do the things, get the stuff, repeat. Its simple but it works.
Its "surrealist" nature couldve been taken further I think, the secret rooms where cool but just lead up to a rather pretentious and amateurish "THIS IS SUPER FUCKED UP AND SERIOUS NOW AND YOU DIDNT SEE IT COMING" type dialogue exchange.
Also the brilliant claymation style used in all the marketing is nowhere to be seen in the game at all, quite misleading.
Super Mario Wonder is, without a doubt, a crowning achievement in the realm of platformers. It's an exhilarating journey through a vibrant and captivating world that is brought to life through level design that can only be described as a stroke of genius.
First and foremost, this game has SOUL. Something lacking in the NSMB series for years. Just take Mario himself, every single animation has insanely awesome keyframe poses, style and flair, this is probably the best Mario has looked/been animated EVER in any title. The world themes and environments are equally as amazing, gone are the drab generic theming of the previous titles and income the new vibrant assortment of wacky locations in Wonder each with their own distinct personality and ambience. The only small nitpick is that during some Wonder effects, the background enemies are very clearly flat, low fps animations, but these rare blemishes do not take away from the game's charm, as they are few and far between and are hard to really notice.
The soundtrack is brimming with amazing tracks, near every single one is a hit. The dynamic tracks that change based on location/powerup/situation also add a ton of personality to each song and level. There was one track that got a little bit on my nerves, being the transformation song that plays when you turn into a blob, it's way too short and repetitive for those lengthy sections, but aside from that one slight blunder, the rest is gold. And it was also really nice to see some returning tracks make cameos in bonus levels/wonder effects especially those with new arrangements.
The level design is truly top-notch. Every level feels like a meticulously crafted work of art, with incredible attention to detail and a sense of wonder around every corner. The collectables also form as a transformation to the whole level, giving great incentive to find them, or replay levels if you missed them. They not only enhance the gameplay but also alter the level design in unique and imaginative ways, making each level a memorable and distinct experience. My one nitpick with the wonder effects, is that often when they end there is a creative sequence of level design/platforming to get you back on track, whereas other times it simply fades to black and spits you out where you started. This inconsistency just really lacks polish in my opinion, even a simple pipe transition or something akin would be better, it just breaks immersion in a way that takes you out of the moment a bit.
The boss fights, unfortunately, fall somewhat short of the exceptional quality seen throughout the rest of the game. In contrast to the imaginative wonder effects and brilliantly designed levels, the boss battles come across as somewhat underwhelming and repetitive. They are OK, but with the concept of Wonder effects in play, they really play it safe, having you basically do the same thing over and over, some worlds skipping over having a boss entirely. The Final Boss is also rather disappointing in this regard, it's fine, but there was potential for something so much greater. I mean the tease for a final Bowser Jr Boss goes nowhere for seemingly no reason, I mean the gag was funny but I was expecting some kind of payoff, but, no, quite strange.
The difficulty of the game is expertly designed, it has levels of escalating difficulty, with a challenging special world, and a true gauntlet of tests near the very end. But alongside this, we have a cavalcade of accessibility options. But these accessibility options are not simply lazy "EASY MODE" which I tend to despise. Instead, we are granted many options and utilities as a player to have fun with, and also decrease difficulty. For example, the order in which you progress is entirely up to you, giving you many options of ranging difficulty levels to dig your teeth into, if you happen to get stuck or struggle. You also have badges, which are equippable abilities that give various fun movement options or buffs/debuffs, these are not only fun to use but function as a dynamic difficulty option, as if you struggle you can equip a better ability, but if you excel you can equip a buff, or perhaps a debuff for the fun of it, or maybe equip an ability to help you perform even more intricate manoeuvres in levels. Yet another accessibility feature is the fact that some characters function differently, taking no damage and not being able to use powerups. On the surface, this is yet another good accessibility feature bundled with a gameplay feature for more experienced players, but I feel mandating negating damage on these characters is a bit much, and removing power-ups is also just lame. I think perhaps only making Nabbit, the noob mode, with some alts, and allowing Yoshi to be a semi-noob mode, as he has a buffed moveset, but retaining damage and powerups to make him appeal to better players again.
Overall this game is truly amazing. It has some slight blemishes, but those can easily be ignored. 9/10
First and foremost, this game has SOUL. Something lacking in the NSMB series for years. Just take Mario himself, every single animation has insanely awesome keyframe poses, style and flair, this is probably the best Mario has looked/been animated EVER in any title. The world themes and environments are equally as amazing, gone are the drab generic theming of the previous titles and income the new vibrant assortment of wacky locations in Wonder each with their own distinct personality and ambience. The only small nitpick is that during some Wonder effects, the background enemies are very clearly flat, low fps animations, but these rare blemishes do not take away from the game's charm, as they are few and far between and are hard to really notice.
The soundtrack is brimming with amazing tracks, near every single one is a hit. The dynamic tracks that change based on location/powerup/situation also add a ton of personality to each song and level. There was one track that got a little bit on my nerves, being the transformation song that plays when you turn into a blob, it's way too short and repetitive for those lengthy sections, but aside from that one slight blunder, the rest is gold. And it was also really nice to see some returning tracks make cameos in bonus levels/wonder effects especially those with new arrangements.
The level design is truly top-notch. Every level feels like a meticulously crafted work of art, with incredible attention to detail and a sense of wonder around every corner. The collectables also form as a transformation to the whole level, giving great incentive to find them, or replay levels if you missed them. They not only enhance the gameplay but also alter the level design in unique and imaginative ways, making each level a memorable and distinct experience. My one nitpick with the wonder effects, is that often when they end there is a creative sequence of level design/platforming to get you back on track, whereas other times it simply fades to black and spits you out where you started. This inconsistency just really lacks polish in my opinion, even a simple pipe transition or something akin would be better, it just breaks immersion in a way that takes you out of the moment a bit.
The boss fights, unfortunately, fall somewhat short of the exceptional quality seen throughout the rest of the game. In contrast to the imaginative wonder effects and brilliantly designed levels, the boss battles come across as somewhat underwhelming and repetitive. They are OK, but with the concept of Wonder effects in play, they really play it safe, having you basically do the same thing over and over, some worlds skipping over having a boss entirely. The Final Boss is also rather disappointing in this regard, it's fine, but there was potential for something so much greater. I mean the tease for a final Bowser Jr Boss goes nowhere for seemingly no reason, I mean the gag was funny but I was expecting some kind of payoff, but, no, quite strange.
The difficulty of the game is expertly designed, it has levels of escalating difficulty, with a challenging special world, and a true gauntlet of tests near the very end. But alongside this, we have a cavalcade of accessibility options. But these accessibility options are not simply lazy "EASY MODE" which I tend to despise. Instead, we are granted many options and utilities as a player to have fun with, and also decrease difficulty. For example, the order in which you progress is entirely up to you, giving you many options of ranging difficulty levels to dig your teeth into, if you happen to get stuck or struggle. You also have badges, which are equippable abilities that give various fun movement options or buffs/debuffs, these are not only fun to use but function as a dynamic difficulty option, as if you struggle you can equip a better ability, but if you excel you can equip a buff, or perhaps a debuff for the fun of it, or maybe equip an ability to help you perform even more intricate manoeuvres in levels. Yet another accessibility feature is the fact that some characters function differently, taking no damage and not being able to use powerups. On the surface, this is yet another good accessibility feature bundled with a gameplay feature for more experienced players, but I feel mandating negating damage on these characters is a bit much, and removing power-ups is also just lame. I think perhaps only making Nabbit, the noob mode, with some alts, and allowing Yoshi to be a semi-noob mode, as he has a buffed moveset, but retaining damage and powerups to make him appeal to better players again.
Overall this game is truly amazing. It has some slight blemishes, but those can easily be ignored. 9/10
2023
It's bad.
The physics are nearly spot on. Unless you're some Sonic autist like me, you probably wouldn't even know it was any different from the classics. It's pretty much the one and only thing they really nailed in this game. Although most of that is due to it being carried over from the retro engine, which does include some jank (Insert clip of being crushed by a corner from the penultimate level here), but as I said, it is basically perfect in terms of what we would expect from Classic physics and controls.
The character's abilities are as you would expect, but Amy just sucks total ass. Wow, a double jump, how original! And she also has some scuffed version of a drop dash that basically does... nothing? It sucks. And the extra character, their ability is... a double jump? Again!? Brilliant. They just seem to be incapable of actually designing new characters for a classic setting. Both new movesets made are just generic, uninspired tripe that bring nothing new to the table, giving little incentive to play them above the pre-existing roster.
The emerald powers are fine. They are handed to you automatically in the "We designed this bit specifically for the power" moments, which is kind of dumb, and those moments always stick out like a sore thumb regardless of the pointer. The abilities are basically divided into 2 types: Traversal and Keys. The keys are just press the button to make the door open. For example, the time ability, which only exists to let you go through doors disguised as fast-moving objects. And Traversal, which just allows you to skip parts of the level or go to a designated area. They aren't really fun to use; they are convenient, allowing you to cheese platforming and get free hits on a boss. I mean, the first emerald power is literally just "Press the button for free damage on the boss." Like, sure, that's helpful, but it isn't really "fun," is it?
To even get those powers, however, you need to beat the special stages, and wow! They are a steaming pile of shit! The reticle on the Sonic Boom-esque tether is so infuriating to use. It grabs onto things from seemingly random angles and distances. And even then, it's not like these stages actually pose a challenge; they are mind-numbingly easy. If you can tolerate the annoyance of missing your grabs constantly for about 20 seconds, they all but play themselves.
The level design is lackluster; it ranges from OK to annoying. It never gets downright atrocious, but it's just generic and incredibly repetitive. They love reusing the same boring sections on loop, especially if it includes a slow, annoying gimmick. And all the level gimmicks are a snooze. For example, the rotating sections in the final level are easy, slow, and sleep-inducing, as are the anti-gravity sections in the exact same level! They exist to ground you to a halt.
But even when the levels are OK, I still don't want to play them because I know at the end is lurking a god-awful, sluggish boss. I must congratulate this game for having by far the worst bosses in the entire franchise. Every single one is simply "Wait through this painfully long attack phase, then get one free hit in, repeat." This would be bad enough in any game, but a SONIC game? At the end of EVERY level? It's painful. Usually, the boss fights drag on longer than the entire level, for crying out loud. You may only progress through the boss when it very specifically decides, so even with emerald powers, they still drag on for an eternity. When you hit a boss, it flashes white, indicating its invincibility frames, like the classics, but even after this flashing ends, you STILL can't actually hit the boss again until it miraculously decides you can again, even if you very clearly get hits off on them. Every encounter is basically like watching a very long and boring QTE that is identical every single time. The final boss is so long and boring, and the issue is not "Oh, you just think it's hard, git gud!" No, it's that it's BORING; you sit through minutes upon minutes of slog in the first phase, then finally get to the second, make one tiny slip up and boom, you're right back to sitting doing nothing for minutes again. It's atrocious. And I was thinking the final boss would be the worst example of this, but actually, no! There are 2 more secret final bosses which are somehow EVEN WORSE! Bravo!
The graphics are as generic and soulless as can be. All the badniks look like bootleg McDonald's toys, and the stages lack any real flair or distinct theming. When this game was announced, they declared no zones would be reused! All original! So instead of reused cool zones, we instead get a grab bag of insanely generic-looking levels. The animations for most characters are decent enough, although some are quite drab in contrast, specifically the unlockable character.
The music is the definition of mediocrity. It has a few select tracks that are decent, but for every one of those, we have a complete stinker. How they even managed to do this with such a talented group of composers is beyond me! It's definitely their worst work for probably every single one of them.
And one of the worst parts of this entire package is the sound design, and I'm not usually privy to this due to my lack of knowledge on the subject, but here, dear God. Firstly, this game has NO identity; almost all jingles and sounds are stolen from Mania/Gens/Colours. And those that aren't are stock sounds played 10x louder than they should be. It's terrible!
The story makes basically no sense and is a waste of time. Nothing happens. And the newly introduced/reintroduced characters Fang and Trip do basically nothing. A huge shame considering both of these characters have really cool designs and personalities. I mean you take Fang, bring him back, have him do nothing, then give him arguably the worst boss in the series' history (twice). Fantastic.
There is also, of course, the Battle Mode, which is terrible! For one, it doesn't even work half the time. Usually, the servers are down, and when they are up, they insist on matching you with only ONE person and a bunch of CPUs. And even when you play with friends, you get 0 options, so hope you like playing random shitty game modes on loop on random maps rather than just letting you choose. It also has some arduous ranking system that has about 100 noob tier ranks that nobody is ever going to bother grinding up anyway since they don't even display anywhere! What is the point?! This mode is presumably where the endless grind element is meant to come in, as during your playthrough you'll obtain Medals to buy robot parts, and these medals make up the main reward for doing anything in the game, which is dumb considering 99% of players aren't going to give a shit about these collectibles. And to make matters worse, even if you do care about them, all the things you can buy with them (cosmetics for your battle mode robot) are ludicrously overpriced to incentivize grinding/playing on loop. This system, I can only presume, is made this way to justify the $60 price tag since many people, and individuals in the industry, view the length of a game as equal to its value. So this game is very clearly geared toward long play sessions. It is most certainly not made to be picked up and beaten like the previous titles. This also explains the pointless hub world, insanely drawn-out boss fights, and mandatory forced replays of the game alongside this grindfest of a medal system. Not that this game is even worth $60 regardless of ignoring the length mindset, but that mindset is what leads to games such as this purposely going out of their way to waste your time since, well, you paid a high price so you expect a long game, right? There is a difference between a game that is endlessly replayable being worth a lot and a game that simply doesn't respect my time or patience as it tries to eke out another hour of playtime to justify a price tag.
A huge disappointment, even if you can cope and find enjoyment from the pure mediocrity that is this game's aesthetics and level design, the bosses take away any remaining joy that could have been had. Unfortunately, a big miss. 4/10
The physics are nearly spot on. Unless you're some Sonic autist like me, you probably wouldn't even know it was any different from the classics. It's pretty much the one and only thing they really nailed in this game. Although most of that is due to it being carried over from the retro engine, which does include some jank (Insert clip of being crushed by a corner from the penultimate level here), but as I said, it is basically perfect in terms of what we would expect from Classic physics and controls.
The character's abilities are as you would expect, but Amy just sucks total ass. Wow, a double jump, how original! And she also has some scuffed version of a drop dash that basically does... nothing? It sucks. And the extra character, their ability is... a double jump? Again!? Brilliant. They just seem to be incapable of actually designing new characters for a classic setting. Both new movesets made are just generic, uninspired tripe that bring nothing new to the table, giving little incentive to play them above the pre-existing roster.
The emerald powers are fine. They are handed to you automatically in the "We designed this bit specifically for the power" moments, which is kind of dumb, and those moments always stick out like a sore thumb regardless of the pointer. The abilities are basically divided into 2 types: Traversal and Keys. The keys are just press the button to make the door open. For example, the time ability, which only exists to let you go through doors disguised as fast-moving objects. And Traversal, which just allows you to skip parts of the level or go to a designated area. They aren't really fun to use; they are convenient, allowing you to cheese platforming and get free hits on a boss. I mean, the first emerald power is literally just "Press the button for free damage on the boss." Like, sure, that's helpful, but it isn't really "fun," is it?
To even get those powers, however, you need to beat the special stages, and wow! They are a steaming pile of shit! The reticle on the Sonic Boom-esque tether is so infuriating to use. It grabs onto things from seemingly random angles and distances. And even then, it's not like these stages actually pose a challenge; they are mind-numbingly easy. If you can tolerate the annoyance of missing your grabs constantly for about 20 seconds, they all but play themselves.
The level design is lackluster; it ranges from OK to annoying. It never gets downright atrocious, but it's just generic and incredibly repetitive. They love reusing the same boring sections on loop, especially if it includes a slow, annoying gimmick. And all the level gimmicks are a snooze. For example, the rotating sections in the final level are easy, slow, and sleep-inducing, as are the anti-gravity sections in the exact same level! They exist to ground you to a halt.
But even when the levels are OK, I still don't want to play them because I know at the end is lurking a god-awful, sluggish boss. I must congratulate this game for having by far the worst bosses in the entire franchise. Every single one is simply "Wait through this painfully long attack phase, then get one free hit in, repeat." This would be bad enough in any game, but a SONIC game? At the end of EVERY level? It's painful. Usually, the boss fights drag on longer than the entire level, for crying out loud. You may only progress through the boss when it very specifically decides, so even with emerald powers, they still drag on for an eternity. When you hit a boss, it flashes white, indicating its invincibility frames, like the classics, but even after this flashing ends, you STILL can't actually hit the boss again until it miraculously decides you can again, even if you very clearly get hits off on them. Every encounter is basically like watching a very long and boring QTE that is identical every single time. The final boss is so long and boring, and the issue is not "Oh, you just think it's hard, git gud!" No, it's that it's BORING; you sit through minutes upon minutes of slog in the first phase, then finally get to the second, make one tiny slip up and boom, you're right back to sitting doing nothing for minutes again. It's atrocious. And I was thinking the final boss would be the worst example of this, but actually, no! There are 2 more secret final bosses which are somehow EVEN WORSE! Bravo!
The graphics are as generic and soulless as can be. All the badniks look like bootleg McDonald's toys, and the stages lack any real flair or distinct theming. When this game was announced, they declared no zones would be reused! All original! So instead of reused cool zones, we instead get a grab bag of insanely generic-looking levels. The animations for most characters are decent enough, although some are quite drab in contrast, specifically the unlockable character.
The music is the definition of mediocrity. It has a few select tracks that are decent, but for every one of those, we have a complete stinker. How they even managed to do this with such a talented group of composers is beyond me! It's definitely their worst work for probably every single one of them.
And one of the worst parts of this entire package is the sound design, and I'm not usually privy to this due to my lack of knowledge on the subject, but here, dear God. Firstly, this game has NO identity; almost all jingles and sounds are stolen from Mania/Gens/Colours. And those that aren't are stock sounds played 10x louder than they should be. It's terrible!
The story makes basically no sense and is a waste of time. Nothing happens. And the newly introduced/reintroduced characters Fang and Trip do basically nothing. A huge shame considering both of these characters have really cool designs and personalities. I mean you take Fang, bring him back, have him do nothing, then give him arguably the worst boss in the series' history (twice). Fantastic.
There is also, of course, the Battle Mode, which is terrible! For one, it doesn't even work half the time. Usually, the servers are down, and when they are up, they insist on matching you with only ONE person and a bunch of CPUs. And even when you play with friends, you get 0 options, so hope you like playing random shitty game modes on loop on random maps rather than just letting you choose. It also has some arduous ranking system that has about 100 noob tier ranks that nobody is ever going to bother grinding up anyway since they don't even display anywhere! What is the point?! This mode is presumably where the endless grind element is meant to come in, as during your playthrough you'll obtain Medals to buy robot parts, and these medals make up the main reward for doing anything in the game, which is dumb considering 99% of players aren't going to give a shit about these collectibles. And to make matters worse, even if you do care about them, all the things you can buy with them (cosmetics for your battle mode robot) are ludicrously overpriced to incentivize grinding/playing on loop. This system, I can only presume, is made this way to justify the $60 price tag since many people, and individuals in the industry, view the length of a game as equal to its value. So this game is very clearly geared toward long play sessions. It is most certainly not made to be picked up and beaten like the previous titles. This also explains the pointless hub world, insanely drawn-out boss fights, and mandatory forced replays of the game alongside this grindfest of a medal system. Not that this game is even worth $60 regardless of ignoring the length mindset, but that mindset is what leads to games such as this purposely going out of their way to waste your time since, well, you paid a high price so you expect a long game, right? There is a difference between a game that is endlessly replayable being worth a lot and a game that simply doesn't respect my time or patience as it tries to eke out another hour of playtime to justify a price tag.
A huge disappointment, even if you can cope and find enjoyment from the pure mediocrity that is this game's aesthetics and level design, the bosses take away any remaining joy that could have been had. Unfortunately, a big miss. 4/10
1990
Final Fantasy III takes all the elements from Final Fantasy I left behind in II and makes them BETTER while taking some of the few elements that did work from II and adding them to the mix.
The story is more akin to Final Fantasy I, and you once again create your own protagonists. The story is, OK, nothing really that amazing, but nothing terrible. The NPCs actually have character now, and the story actually is somewhat engaging. Rather than forcing you to lump around dead weight with a rotating fourth story-related party member like Final Fantasy II, characters now "Join your party" by simply following you around, allowing you to talk to them, which is neat.
The world itself also feels incredibly large, as you realise midway through that you've only been exploring a fraction of the map filled with hidden areas and details opened up to you as you gain more modes of transport. My main gripe with the overworld is why exactly they thought it was a good idea to have half of it just be empty sea that all looks exactly the same, its insanely hard to navigate due to this and just frustrating as you aimlessly fly over the blank void of water.
The EXP system is returned as it was in Final Fantasy I, with the rather groundbreaking addition of the job system. Now any character at any time can fulfil any role and switch between them at a moment's notice. You need to gain points in order to switch, which is kind of a meaningless system as you almost always have enough points, and if you don't you just have to effortlessly grind for them (This system was removed in the remakes). Each job has a unique action and playstyle giving a large variety of options for forming your party, adding replayability. The game has moments that are like puzzles where you must choose the correct job types in order to progress, however, you can also solve these problems by simply using specific spells or actions. More jobs unlock as you progress, further encouraging you to switch it up as you go. The only issue with this is the final jobs you unlock are leagues above any other jobs you had for the whole game, I feel these jobs should have been a post-game reward or something akin, rather than being practically handed to you at the end game. This makes the battles in this game fun and engaging, and the levels of the enemies are never too high or too low for it to become annoying or monotonous. The final dungeon is an exception to this, with a huge spike in difficulty, forcing you to fight waves of over-levelled enemies with no save points for a long stretch of time.
The dungeons themselves are also well-designed, they are fun to explore and don't have any of the annoying bullshit from Final Fantasy II's dungeon design. Once again the exception to this is the final dungeon which is far too long and filled with dead ends. The finale is definitely the worst part of Final Fantasy III, even the final boss is terrible it just spams ONE OP attack at you over and over, no strategy, just grind.
The soundtrack is good, and brings back a few staples from Final Fantasy I skipped over in II, and creates new traditions from the tracks from II.
Final Fantasy III is a great improvement to Final Fantasy I, it's one of those "true sequels" after a bumpy middle child. Definitely the best Famicom Final Fantasy, and perhaps the best JRPG on the Famicom period. The remakes for Final Fantasy III are about the same as the original as far as I can tell, and I find the 3D visuals of the DS and PSP version really ugly, but thats just me.
The story is more akin to Final Fantasy I, and you once again create your own protagonists. The story is, OK, nothing really that amazing, but nothing terrible. The NPCs actually have character now, and the story actually is somewhat engaging. Rather than forcing you to lump around dead weight with a rotating fourth story-related party member like Final Fantasy II, characters now "Join your party" by simply following you around, allowing you to talk to them, which is neat.
The world itself also feels incredibly large, as you realise midway through that you've only been exploring a fraction of the map filled with hidden areas and details opened up to you as you gain more modes of transport. My main gripe with the overworld is why exactly they thought it was a good idea to have half of it just be empty sea that all looks exactly the same, its insanely hard to navigate due to this and just frustrating as you aimlessly fly over the blank void of water.
The EXP system is returned as it was in Final Fantasy I, with the rather groundbreaking addition of the job system. Now any character at any time can fulfil any role and switch between them at a moment's notice. You need to gain points in order to switch, which is kind of a meaningless system as you almost always have enough points, and if you don't you just have to effortlessly grind for them (This system was removed in the remakes). Each job has a unique action and playstyle giving a large variety of options for forming your party, adding replayability. The game has moments that are like puzzles where you must choose the correct job types in order to progress, however, you can also solve these problems by simply using specific spells or actions. More jobs unlock as you progress, further encouraging you to switch it up as you go. The only issue with this is the final jobs you unlock are leagues above any other jobs you had for the whole game, I feel these jobs should have been a post-game reward or something akin, rather than being practically handed to you at the end game. This makes the battles in this game fun and engaging, and the levels of the enemies are never too high or too low for it to become annoying or monotonous. The final dungeon is an exception to this, with a huge spike in difficulty, forcing you to fight waves of over-levelled enemies with no save points for a long stretch of time.
The dungeons themselves are also well-designed, they are fun to explore and don't have any of the annoying bullshit from Final Fantasy II's dungeon design. Once again the exception to this is the final dungeon which is far too long and filled with dead ends. The finale is definitely the worst part of Final Fantasy III, even the final boss is terrible it just spams ONE OP attack at you over and over, no strategy, just grind.
The soundtrack is good, and brings back a few staples from Final Fantasy I skipped over in II, and creates new traditions from the tracks from II.
Final Fantasy III is a great improvement to Final Fantasy I, it's one of those "true sequels" after a bumpy middle child. Definitely the best Famicom Final Fantasy, and perhaps the best JRPG on the Famicom period. The remakes for Final Fantasy III are about the same as the original as far as I can tell, and I find the 3D visuals of the DS and PSP version really ugly, but thats just me.
1988
Very ambitious, some great IDEAS, but these ideas in execution are incredibly boring or outright terrible.
They clearly wanted to focus more on the characters in this game, giving you specific characters rather than creating your own, and the story is much more serious, the game even begins with your party losing and being disbanded. The story is more engaging than Final Fantasy I and has more of an overarching narrative, to push that idea of the characters, you also get new party members swapping in and out, which helps you connect to them further. It also has a keyword system, which is a cool IDEA, but in reality its basically the equivalent of having a key, and everytime you talk to somebody you just have to try every word until something happens, and its not like they say anything interesting for any "wrong" words, they either give you the next objective or simply say nothing.
Despite the focus on character in this game compared to the previous entry, they all suck! I couldn't tell you one thing about really ANY character in this game despite its efforts for me to care about them.
The levelling system is entirely rewritten, as now you can gain exp for every single attribute your character does, based on how much they do specific things. Great IDEA, but in execution it is insanely annoying to actually level these things up, you tend to just have to attack yourself over and over rather than grinding enemies. You will either be totally defenseless and get sweeped by everything, or you will sweep everything, for the whole game, which makes the entire gameplay/combat portions of the game boring. The weapon proficiency system is also a waste of time as most weapons just arent worth using so youre better off sticking with whatever your character has to start with. The levelling system also makes armour a waste of time, as you WANT to take more damage so that you may increase your defence/hp stats, its counter-intuitive and stupid. Levelling spells is ALSO a nightmare as you have to cast spells about 100 times to level it up a single time, every single time! It's insanely tedious, and not fun. The previously mentioned swapping party member, is also completely useless, as they are almost ALWAYS wayyyy weaker than your party, just being fauder in every single fight.
But while youre not in combat, you get to explore the dungeons of Final Fantasy II, and they are absolute garbage too! Pick a path dungeon design galore, and for some backwards reason every single dungeon is filled with these "trap rooms" which have insane encounter rates and are just purely random, and you must check all of them as SOME are treasure rooms, its just bullshit and only exists to waste your time.
Theres no other way of putting it, this game, is bad. Much worse than Final Fantasy I, even the remakes don't save it. If you want to play the Final Fantasy series, feel free to skip this entry!
They clearly wanted to focus more on the characters in this game, giving you specific characters rather than creating your own, and the story is much more serious, the game even begins with your party losing and being disbanded. The story is more engaging than Final Fantasy I and has more of an overarching narrative, to push that idea of the characters, you also get new party members swapping in and out, which helps you connect to them further. It also has a keyword system, which is a cool IDEA, but in reality its basically the equivalent of having a key, and everytime you talk to somebody you just have to try every word until something happens, and its not like they say anything interesting for any "wrong" words, they either give you the next objective or simply say nothing.
Despite the focus on character in this game compared to the previous entry, they all suck! I couldn't tell you one thing about really ANY character in this game despite its efforts for me to care about them.
The levelling system is entirely rewritten, as now you can gain exp for every single attribute your character does, based on how much they do specific things. Great IDEA, but in execution it is insanely annoying to actually level these things up, you tend to just have to attack yourself over and over rather than grinding enemies. You will either be totally defenseless and get sweeped by everything, or you will sweep everything, for the whole game, which makes the entire gameplay/combat portions of the game boring. The weapon proficiency system is also a waste of time as most weapons just arent worth using so youre better off sticking with whatever your character has to start with. The levelling system also makes armour a waste of time, as you WANT to take more damage so that you may increase your defence/hp stats, its counter-intuitive and stupid. Levelling spells is ALSO a nightmare as you have to cast spells about 100 times to level it up a single time, every single time! It's insanely tedious, and not fun. The previously mentioned swapping party member, is also completely useless, as they are almost ALWAYS wayyyy weaker than your party, just being fauder in every single fight.
But while youre not in combat, you get to explore the dungeons of Final Fantasy II, and they are absolute garbage too! Pick a path dungeon design galore, and for some backwards reason every single dungeon is filled with these "trap rooms" which have insane encounter rates and are just purely random, and you must check all of them as SOME are treasure rooms, its just bullshit and only exists to waste your time.
Theres no other way of putting it, this game, is bad. Much worse than Final Fantasy I, even the remakes don't save it. If you want to play the Final Fantasy series, feel free to skip this entry!
1993
I don't really have much to say on the design of this one, it's just a brilliant translation of SOR2 to 8-bit consoles! The graphics are fantastic, some of the best I've seen for this level of hardware, especially for handhelds of the era. Comparing this game to really, any Gameboy games graphics in 1993 is just apples to oranges, but realistically that always tends to be the case for Game Gear VS Game Boy. The music is also stellar, again done by Yuzo Koshiro so not surprising, all the moves are brought over from SOR2 MD, its really as good as you can get, the only ONE minor issue is that rarely you can get stun-locked leading to a death, but it's not a common occurrence, and you get more than enough lives to comfortably complete the game without putting on too much of a sweat. Great game, great port.
2004
Revisiting Super Mario 64 DS made me realise how fundamentally flawed its controls are. I mean if you want to look at a game that has issues in its design directly in the core of its existence, this is the game. Super Mario 64 was Nintendo's demonstration of the N64 and by extension its new controller, and by extra extension of the analogue joystick controls. The movement is one of the most defining factors that made Super Mario 64 so fantastic, perhaps the camera controls have aged, but the movement itself is pretty timeless. So fast forward to the Nintendo DS, Nintendo now want to make a launch title to demonstrate the capabilities of this console, and in order to demonstrate its graphical capabilities why not take a beloved N64 game and improve it and show it running on a HANDHELD, pretty impressive, and yes, Super Mario 64 DS looks pretty fantastic for a DS game, in fact, I dare say it is one of the very best looking DS games from a technical standpoint, which is impressive for a launch title. Now that's all well and good but what about those innovative analogue controls? What? Analog controls? No, no, the DS has a D-pad you see, so now rather than smooth movement we have a grid-based movement system and a run button. It's total crap and feels awful, you lack all precision and constantly overshoot every movement, jumping through a simple platforming segment becomes a gauntlet as you fight with the controls to get into position. Even if you play the game on 3DS with a circle pad, it's not simply the inputs the entire game is designed with 8 directional movements, which is odd since you can also control the game with the touch screen, not sure why you ever would but still, which could have had 360 movements and if that existed then playing the game on later hardware would mitigate the issues, but no, that's 8 direction based too. The camera isn't even improved, if anything it's worse, only being able to place it behind you, or move it by using the touch screen. Just a total balls up completely, and was doomed from the start due to the game's reliance on the analogue stick and its absence on the DS.
An isometric puzzler for the NES, pretty decent. Frequently I would tend to have issues in being able to figure out depth in this one though, often I would position myself specifically onto one square, ready to leap to the next, only to plummet to my death as my depth perception was entirely warped. Which is incredibly annoying with this game's rather strict life system, and while I am usually alright with live systems, especially in these older titles, revisiting areas after being set back in this game simply feel like a chore, especially the literal labyrinths you're forced to endure at points. I can see the vision, when you die you are forced to do the puzzles again meaning you are forced to memorise them more so theoretically once you master this game you can breeze right through every single part of the game without a second thought since you will have been forced to blitz each part after dying. The way continues work is that they are more like checkpoints, once you get a continue, you continue from where you collected it, but only for that ONE continue you got, if you game over again, you will then start from the place where you picked up your PREVIOUS continue. Meaning if you get at a particularly hard section and game over twice, you get kicked all the way back down the stairs even further (Metaphorically speaking), this is just rage quit inducing as it feels like the game truly is just wasting your time, and truthfully it's most likely because it is, the game is relatively short once you know where to go and how to solve the puzzles.
The main thing of note with this game is the soundtrack, as it is made by the spectacular Tim Follin, so really, your better off just sitting at the title screen watching the intro on loop, listening to those kick-ass beats.
The main thing of note with this game is the soundtrack, as it is made by the spectacular Tim Follin, so really, your better off just sitting at the title screen watching the intro on loop, listening to those kick-ass beats.
The first notable thing about the game is that is that it has co-op, which is an immediate plus, and the fair difficulty of the game makes it fun to play with basically anybody you know. The levels have enough challenge within them to be fun even if you're a novice platformer fan, it's no Castlevania or anything, but it's also not just mindless walking. The punishment for messing up, or even getting a Game Over, are so non-consequential to a casual, that anybody can complete it since you can eventually just brute force your way through most obstacles if you so choose. But doesn't that take away all the fun and challenge if everything can become menial if I so choose? Well, if you do choose to push your way through obstacles and just die over and over, then you won't rack up any meaningful points, and without points, you won't be getting many lives, so you'll be seeing that game over screen a lot more often. Brute forcing your way through every obstacle is an option, perhaps for that co-op buddy who sucks or the small child playing this Mickey Mouse game, but it's not optimal in any way. It also has its fair share of collectables and hidden items that can improve your health and score. The game doesn't overstay its welcome, it's short and sweet, perfect for a quick co-op run.
The main gimmick of the game is the costumes/transformations, which are, OK. I'm not in love with them, they are kind of bland and unresponsive at times, and some of them, like the hook, feel like they should just be a part of the default move set, albeit with some different animation/action. But speaking of animation, this game looks great, can't really say the same for the music however, quite mediocre in that department.
In conclusion, a fun game, and an interesting way of designing a game for casuals, while not alienating people more familiar with the genre, making a great game for co-op.
The main gimmick of the game is the costumes/transformations, which are, OK. I'm not in love with them, they are kind of bland and unresponsive at times, and some of them, like the hook, feel like they should just be a part of the default move set, albeit with some different animation/action. But speaking of animation, this game looks great, can't really say the same for the music however, quite mediocre in that department.
In conclusion, a fun game, and an interesting way of designing a game for casuals, while not alienating people more familiar with the genre, making a great game for co-op.
As a very late Gameboy Color game, this game looks great for the hardware, probably the best-looking game on the system, which, okay fine, isn't saying much for the Gameboy, but it's still impressive. It's very much just more Link's awakening, which is good because that game is fantastic. The combat is simple but fun, the item progression system is great, the dungeons are well-designed and fun to explore and the season gimmick is not only cool to look at but also cool to use.
The more interesting thing about this game is that, like Pokemon, it has 2 versions. Unlike Pokemon, however, these versions are entirely separate games, that link together forming one grand adventure. I have to question what exactly the point of this is however, yes, it is cool to have 2 separate games connect like this, but it's not as if these were sequel releases that locked onto each other, these were 2 games released simultaneously that are just totally different. When Pokemon pioneered this sort of thing, it actually served a purpose, a unique player experience and to encourage social interaction and trading, this on the other hand seems to just influence.... buying two games at once? It's quite odd. In hindsight where we can just download ROMs online for free, it's just a cool gimmick so it really is not a problem and only benefits the play experience, but at the time of release, it's a rather backwards decision and clearly just seems to be trying to piggyback off of Pokemon.
The more interesting thing about this game is that, like Pokemon, it has 2 versions. Unlike Pokemon, however, these versions are entirely separate games, that link together forming one grand adventure. I have to question what exactly the point of this is however, yes, it is cool to have 2 separate games connect like this, but it's not as if these were sequel releases that locked onto each other, these were 2 games released simultaneously that are just totally different. When Pokemon pioneered this sort of thing, it actually served a purpose, a unique player experience and to encourage social interaction and trading, this on the other hand seems to just influence.... buying two games at once? It's quite odd. In hindsight where we can just download ROMs online for free, it's just a cool gimmick so it really is not a problem and only benefits the play experience, but at the time of release, it's a rather backwards decision and clearly just seems to be trying to piggyback off of Pokemon.
It's an interesting game, in that its one of the only games in the franchise that really blurs the line of "Classic Sonic" and "Modern Sonic", this game was basically Sonic Mania before Sonic Mania, taking elements of all the original trilogy and mashing them all up. Its pretty good, better than the Game Gear titles I would say, but worse than the Advance trilogy. Its lack of originality takes it down a peg in my opinion. It really is just that perfect bridge of what 2D Sonic handheld titles would be, the culmination of what the Game Gear / Master System titles had been building up to, and the first steps of the Advance series, transitioning to modern designs halfway through. It has much better jump physics than most handheld equivalents of the era, that's something they always tend to mess up in my opinion, Sonic on the Game Gear and the Mario Land series just have really floaty jumps, ruining the game feel when compared to its console counterparts, but this game does a better job at translating fluid jump physics to a weaker device, a better job, not a perfect one however mind you, since the physics in Sonic games are so intricate it's a hard thing to nail exactly, but its more than adequate. This game is also infamously the game that got a perfect 10/10 from IGN in its review, not sure I'd go that far, but, hey it's pretty great.
1994
Up until now, I was one of "those" Final Fantasy fans. I've played Final Fantasy VII, and it's one of my favourite JRPGs ever made. So I think it's about time I actually delve into the rest of the Final Fantasy franchise. And I had always heard Final Fantasy VI was one of the other "This is the best JRPG ever made" games in the franchise. I played with the Ted Woolsey translation patch based on the recommendation of the RA forums.
As soon as this game boots up you know it's going to kick. ass. I mean what an opening, the spectacular title drop to the bleak opening credits crawl. The music, the setting, it just clicks immediately. Oh and the music, wow, what a soundtrack! Near every track is filled with emotion and gives a lasting impact, and the game utilises leitmotifs so well, with certain characters and settings having their own little stingers placed in tracks to implicate relationships or general connections, it's fantastic.
The class system is overwritten by each character having a unique ability. Most of the abilities are awesome and are really fun to use and also really effective. But unfortunately, it is only "most" as some, for example, Cyan's Bishido technique, are not fun to use (Amounting to just wasting time) and are also not nearly as effective as some other more powerful characters, which becomes ever more apparent as you progress. However, the issue of them being worse than other characters is somewhat minimised by the way that the game has moments where your party splits up into smaller parties, forcing you to utilise all of your characters in their own separate parties, this makes you actually use all of the characters, and appreciate the weaker ones more as you divide up your more OP characters into the parties, not allowing those characters to carry as much. BUT the abilities become almost entirely redundant in late game due to the Magicite, which allows any character to learn any spell, it is a shame to sacrifice the ability system for this in the late game, however, being able to customise any party member to do whatever you want is a cool idea, but it does make the characters less unique and introduces a bit more grind to the game, which I am never a fan of in JRPGs. But with all of that said, I think the combat in this game is incredibly fun, as is the team building and customisation, despite the contradictory nature of the Magicite and abilities, the divided-up party mechanics usually end up making you use abilities regardless since I for one did not spend time grinding out magic for every single character.
The story is excellent, I shan't dive in to deep as to avoid spoilers, but the final act twist is pretty spectacular. And Final Fantasy 6, unlike many JRPGs before it, holds a great balance of an epic plot, alongside great world-building and characters. Most of the characters have their own arcs and stories, and time is given to actually develop them, moments of the narrative are given simply to develop characters even the event doesn't progress the plot necessarily. But once again I am using that word; "Most", some characters do not have this depth, and it sticks out quite a bit, but thankfully there are no "bad" characters, every character that actually gets focus, is good, some characters just get left behind a bit.
Overall, a fantastic JRPG. So much so it got me hooked on the rest of the Final Fantasy franchise!
As soon as this game boots up you know it's going to kick. ass. I mean what an opening, the spectacular title drop to the bleak opening credits crawl. The music, the setting, it just clicks immediately. Oh and the music, wow, what a soundtrack! Near every track is filled with emotion and gives a lasting impact, and the game utilises leitmotifs so well, with certain characters and settings having their own little stingers placed in tracks to implicate relationships or general connections, it's fantastic.
The class system is overwritten by each character having a unique ability. Most of the abilities are awesome and are really fun to use and also really effective. But unfortunately, it is only "most" as some, for example, Cyan's Bishido technique, are not fun to use (Amounting to just wasting time) and are also not nearly as effective as some other more powerful characters, which becomes ever more apparent as you progress. However, the issue of them being worse than other characters is somewhat minimised by the way that the game has moments where your party splits up into smaller parties, forcing you to utilise all of your characters in their own separate parties, this makes you actually use all of the characters, and appreciate the weaker ones more as you divide up your more OP characters into the parties, not allowing those characters to carry as much. BUT the abilities become almost entirely redundant in late game due to the Magicite, which allows any character to learn any spell, it is a shame to sacrifice the ability system for this in the late game, however, being able to customise any party member to do whatever you want is a cool idea, but it does make the characters less unique and introduces a bit more grind to the game, which I am never a fan of in JRPGs. But with all of that said, I think the combat in this game is incredibly fun, as is the team building and customisation, despite the contradictory nature of the Magicite and abilities, the divided-up party mechanics usually end up making you use abilities regardless since I for one did not spend time grinding out magic for every single character.
The story is excellent, I shan't dive in to deep as to avoid spoilers, but the final act twist is pretty spectacular. And Final Fantasy 6, unlike many JRPGs before it, holds a great balance of an epic plot, alongside great world-building and characters. Most of the characters have their own arcs and stories, and time is given to actually develop them, moments of the narrative are given simply to develop characters even the event doesn't progress the plot necessarily. But once again I am using that word; "Most", some characters do not have this depth, and it sticks out quite a bit, but thankfully there are no "bad" characters, every character that actually gets focus, is good, some characters just get left behind a bit.
Overall, a fantastic JRPG. So much so it got me hooked on the rest of the Final Fantasy franchise!
2004
The graphics in this game are pretty amazing, yes, you may argue it looks "ugly" but the 3D effect for the GBA is very convincing and works wonders for a Pinball game, making it so you can actually hit the ball forwards and up, and this game even incorporates hitting the ball in the air to hit things which is a great idea and great use of this tech! Secondly, the IDEA of the way the progression works is a solid one, it takes the "open world filled with non linear missions" type structure straight from Mario 64, dropping you into worlds and challenging you to go and grab stars to unlock doors a literal translation of Mario 64 to pinball, fantastic idea!
Everything begins to fall apart in the execution however. Every single board, and I mean every, single, board. Is just a square, with some blocks, and some enemies. Thats it. And rather than actually take advantage of the GBA's power we are still limited to 1 board at a time, with screen transitions like this is a GB Pinball game. Every single level just feels identical, and every identical level isn't even fun to begin with! They are simply tedious. There is no interesting puzzles or gimmicks, it is always as simple as, youre in a rectangle space, heres some shit, go smack the ball into the shit, get the star, move on. But do not be mistaken into thinking this tedium is easy, because these tiny spread-out objects move, and you must hit all the specific objects, as if you hit the OTHER specific objects on the board you will trigger the wrong thing and have to start over, and usually to start over you must purposely go BACK a board and make your way BACK up again by hitting MORE tedious objects in the correct way. Even the bosses in this game are tedious as all hell, especially the final boss which is an absolute nightmare due to the previously mentioned specification order of hitting blocks and the way you must climb your way back up the board again to retry. The amount of precision needed to do even the most basic action in this game just makes it feel borderline unplayable at times.
Everything begins to fall apart in the execution however. Every single board, and I mean every, single, board. Is just a square, with some blocks, and some enemies. Thats it. And rather than actually take advantage of the GBA's power we are still limited to 1 board at a time, with screen transitions like this is a GB Pinball game. Every single level just feels identical, and every identical level isn't even fun to begin with! They are simply tedious. There is no interesting puzzles or gimmicks, it is always as simple as, youre in a rectangle space, heres some shit, go smack the ball into the shit, get the star, move on. But do not be mistaken into thinking this tedium is easy, because these tiny spread-out objects move, and you must hit all the specific objects, as if you hit the OTHER specific objects on the board you will trigger the wrong thing and have to start over, and usually to start over you must purposely go BACK a board and make your way BACK up again by hitting MORE tedious objects in the correct way. Even the bosses in this game are tedious as all hell, especially the final boss which is an absolute nightmare due to the previously mentioned specification order of hitting blocks and the way you must climb your way back up the board again to retry. The amount of precision needed to do even the most basic action in this game just makes it feel borderline unplayable at times.
2019
Now first things first, as a non-south african the reference humour and cultural jokes will likely fly over my head, but even with that said the dialogue is pretty funny. Although there are moments where the game drags straight to a halt and has you select dialogue options and while the exchanges may be funny for a few seconds, far too long spent and a real pace breaker. And even if you absolutely adore the humour, good luck listening to it as not only is the mic quality questionable at best, the default audio balancing was insanely off, could barely hear a word, and when I went to turn down the audio the game crashed and even once you get passed that the game sometimes only plays vocals on one audio channel, meaning you can only hear it from one side. This segways onto the next main problem with this game, the optimisation is total crap, which is strange considering this is built to be a mobile game, but yeah, the load screens were minutes in length and the game crashed on me on several occasions.
The graphics are just abhorrent, the style itself is okay, not bad I guess, I personally am not a fan but I can see the appeal. But all the game's animations are atrocious, I hope you like motion tweens! And the "cutscenes" are practically just slideshows of the same repeated motion tween animations over and over. The characters are basically just reskins of the same model over and over and over with different hair and clothes. The background NPCs also aren't differentiated from the actual enemies, and sometimes the perspective is so off, it makes it look like the NPCs are teeny tiny people.
And I haven't even gotten to the gameplay yet! Dare I say the worst beat em up game I've ever played? You have a punch and a kick which are both completely interchangeable, a jump punch which is worthless, and a jump kick that just turns you into a moving hitbox. The jump also halts all momentum for some reason. You have a stamina bar which allows you to sprint, which is totally worthless, and also allows you to block, which is totally broken. When you block you simply become invincible, you don't actually block attacks or have any feedback from attacks you simply become invulnerable. You also have a super attack which freezes you in place and has people run across the screen killing enemies. The combat boils down to spamming attack and, well, there is no and that's literally all you do. If you're on low health, simply use the jump kick and you are literally unstoppable. I've read some reviews complaining about the difficulty being too much but I have to question what the heck these people were doing because without any real cheese, simply using the attacks I was given, I beat the whole game with only 2 deaths. Not Game Over's deaths. There is also a bizarre combo meter, it serves literally 0 purpose and is basically impossible to even use, sometimes I will be punching an enemy to death, and mid-combo it will just end for no reason, but again its not like it matters since there are no points or rewards for combos.
The "Bosses" are just big sandbags with broken hitboxes. Often you can rack up big combos by just attacking the air in these boss fights because their hitbox just lingers in place, and I suppose because you're not actually hitting anything you can attack fast enough for the combo meter to not magically break, its the only part of the game I managed to get the combo meter above 20. The enemies also never choreographed their attacks, which is most notable in the bosses. But that doesn't really matter because A. if they did you would be OP because the block is broken and you could just block every move. and B. All the bosses barely any health anyway and are easy as with every encounter in this game. The difficulty curve almost seems in reverse, as the levels get easier and easier as they go on, well easier in terms of challenge, the game gets harder and harder to play as you try your best not to fall asleep as they copy-paste the same horde of enemies for the 100th time and place you in the same layout with the exact same background for the 100th time, like seriously what is the point in making me loop over the same room over and over when you add no challenge? Is this a test to my patience?
I almost feel bad ripping into this game, as the jovial tone and setting is indeed charming, but there is basically nothing even so much as passable in this experience passed the culturally specific theme and humour. Im sorry Boet Fighter.
The graphics are just abhorrent, the style itself is okay, not bad I guess, I personally am not a fan but I can see the appeal. But all the game's animations are atrocious, I hope you like motion tweens! And the "cutscenes" are practically just slideshows of the same repeated motion tween animations over and over. The characters are basically just reskins of the same model over and over and over with different hair and clothes. The background NPCs also aren't differentiated from the actual enemies, and sometimes the perspective is so off, it makes it look like the NPCs are teeny tiny people.
And I haven't even gotten to the gameplay yet! Dare I say the worst beat em up game I've ever played? You have a punch and a kick which are both completely interchangeable, a jump punch which is worthless, and a jump kick that just turns you into a moving hitbox. The jump also halts all momentum for some reason. You have a stamina bar which allows you to sprint, which is totally worthless, and also allows you to block, which is totally broken. When you block you simply become invincible, you don't actually block attacks or have any feedback from attacks you simply become invulnerable. You also have a super attack which freezes you in place and has people run across the screen killing enemies. The combat boils down to spamming attack and, well, there is no and that's literally all you do. If you're on low health, simply use the jump kick and you are literally unstoppable. I've read some reviews complaining about the difficulty being too much but I have to question what the heck these people were doing because without any real cheese, simply using the attacks I was given, I beat the whole game with only 2 deaths. Not Game Over's deaths. There is also a bizarre combo meter, it serves literally 0 purpose and is basically impossible to even use, sometimes I will be punching an enemy to death, and mid-combo it will just end for no reason, but again its not like it matters since there are no points or rewards for combos.
The "Bosses" are just big sandbags with broken hitboxes. Often you can rack up big combos by just attacking the air in these boss fights because their hitbox just lingers in place, and I suppose because you're not actually hitting anything you can attack fast enough for the combo meter to not magically break, its the only part of the game I managed to get the combo meter above 20. The enemies also never choreographed their attacks, which is most notable in the bosses. But that doesn't really matter because A. if they did you would be OP because the block is broken and you could just block every move. and B. All the bosses barely any health anyway and are easy as with every encounter in this game. The difficulty curve almost seems in reverse, as the levels get easier and easier as they go on, well easier in terms of challenge, the game gets harder and harder to play as you try your best not to fall asleep as they copy-paste the same horde of enemies for the 100th time and place you in the same layout with the exact same background for the 100th time, like seriously what is the point in making me loop over the same room over and over when you add no challenge? Is this a test to my patience?
I almost feel bad ripping into this game, as the jovial tone and setting is indeed charming, but there is basically nothing even so much as passable in this experience passed the culturally specific theme and humour. Im sorry Boet Fighter.