I often see this game called "ahead of its time". But considering what's ahead of it is a far too long era dominated by the most boring, bland, brown and gray modern war-battle shooters of all time, is that really saying anything?

The game is graphically impressive for the console it released on, and the shooting mostly feels pretty good, but almost everything else about this game is drab. The levels are ugly, the enemies are way too goddamn spongy, and the story is so boring, I just stopped listening during one cutscene and just listened to podcasts for the rest of Black's runtime. This is the kind of game that when it was over, I didn't hesitate to hit the delete button, get it off my console and out of my memory.

Have you ever wanted to see a movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sigourney Weaver team up and battle aliens together to save the planet Earth in the distant future? Well, unfortunately, that movie doesn’t exist (in a perfect reality, it would), but thankfully, we have a game that is the closest thing we will ever get to that reality, known as S.C.A.T.: Special Cybernetic Attack Team. This is yet another obscure NES title from Natsume that I just happened to try out when looking through the library on the NSO, and I had some expectations for what I was getting into, considering my previous experiences with Journey to Sillius and Shadow of the Ninja. It may have a pretty stupid cover, but it should have gameplay that is good enough to make you ignore that cover, and it won’t last too long, so that it doesn’t feel like a burden to try to complete. Thankfully, most of those expectations were correct, as I did find the game to be good enough, even if it wasn’t really all that original, and it doesn’t offer much to experience other than the strange parallels that exist in it.

The story is basically what I said earlier, with it taking place in the year 2029, so I can see now that this takes place in the same universe as Shadow of the Ninja, the graphics are pretty average, having no real stand-out bad or good qualities about it, looking pretty much like every other average NES game at the time, the music is pretty good, but again, it is a pretty standard sounding soundtrack for the NES, with plenty of sound effects and noises we have heard before, so it offers nothing that will catch your attention, the control is good all around, feeling good to handle and not having any noticeable issues, and the gameplay is pretty unique for those who haven’t experienced anything like it before, but for those who are well aware of other games like this at the time, you would know that this is a straight-up copy of other games.

The game is basically just a lesser version of Forgotten Worlds by Capcom, and when you take a look at the two games side-by-side, you can really tell. You take control of either Arnold or Sigourney (yeah, those are their actual names, so that question from the beginning had a purpose), fly through several auto-scrolling stages, using a standard weapon and two “options” to take down enemies and obstacles that you run into, get weapon upgrades to experiment with and more health along the way as you shoot more things, and take on challenging enough bosses that will test your skills… somewhat. So yeah, if you didn’t pick up on it by now, this is pretty much EXACTLY how Forgotten Worlds plays, except without a shop to purchase upgrades, and you can only shoot in two directions rather than eight. From what I had researched, apparently this game was made “in the vein” of that game, as well as Section Z, so I don’t wanna assume that they were stealing from those games, but I dunno… seeing this gameplay, coupled with how they just inserted both Arnold and Sigourney as the main characters, it is pretty suspicious.

Aside from those pretty apparent similarities to those other games, if we were to ignore those, then the game itself is painfully average. At its core, there is nothing about the game that would make it stand out from any other NES game on the market, and if you were to have played any other NES game before this one, then you really wouldn’t be missing out if you were to ignore this one. It just seems like Natsume were the kings of making the most average-ass games imaginable for this system back in the day, which do nothing wrong, and can be a bit of fun, but they do nothing else, playing it way too safe, ultimately resulting in them just being a “whatever” batch of games.

Now, that’s not to say that these games are completely worthless, and don’t warrant your attention at all, because that isn’t the case. The game is still fun enough, having enough to entertain you for a good half-an-hour, and I imagine, if this was your first exposure to the NES, or the type of gameplay that Forgotten Worlds had to offer, then I’d imagine you would consider this your own personal favorite. Maybe even a hidden gem of yours, if you’d be bold enough to claim. And if that is the case, then more power to you, but for me, as someone who has played so many of these types of games at this point, you have to do at least something to make yourself separate from other titles, it could be anything at all! And yes, Arnold and Sigourney are definitely somethings that can help in doing that, but it isn’t enough, making it so that this is a game will be one that I had fond memories of playing once, and then never touching again.

Overall, while having some stand-out elements like the main characters and the gameplay being Forgotten Worlds but for NES, this is just yet another average NES game with average gameplay, average graphics, average music, average EVERYTHING. I would recommend it to you if you are a big fan of the system, and you wanted to see everything it had to offer, or if you are just wanting to have something to speed through real quick to kill some time, but otherwise, you can just easily forget about this title and move on with your day. But, before I end this, I do wanna give myself a pat on the back, for not making a single obvious scat joke throughout this entire review. As someone who likes to make obvious jokes a lot, it is a rarity that I avoid one of them at all.

Game #319

The recent Quake 2 remaster made me replay this gem again, and it is still a blast even today.

Quake 2 improves on the original game in almost every way, despite the change in setting and tone, which fans of the original did not like at all.

Yes, Quake 2 is a sci-fi shooter now, not a lovecraftian monster hunt like the original, but I believe this setting is much better, because it differentiates Quake from Doom.

The remaster also contains the expansion packs and the port of the Nintendo 64 version, so if you never played Quake 2, go for it!

At this point in time, Contra had become an established powerhouse of a franchise from Konami, with three games under their belt, two of them being fantastic old-school run-n-gun classics, and the other one being a solid attempt at bringing the series to handheld consoles. Even after all that though, Konami was far from done, going onto developing the next new entry in the series, which would have a pretty new feel, yet still be familiar at the same time. The game was gonna have a focus centered on constant action, with events happening very quickly to keep the player entertained and invested, while also having more comical elements and themes, rather then what the previous games had given. Originally titled Contra IV (which would’ve made more sense, but whatever), the game would eventually go on to be released as Contra III: The Alien Wars.

From what I remember when it comes to discussions of the game online, as well as videos I have watched myself, many have considered this to be the best game in the entire series, as well as one of the best games to have ever come from the SNES’s lineup. While I can’t say if it is the best in the series, as I haven’t played any of the other games after this, I can say with confidence that it is the best in the series so far, and definitely one of the best from this console. It is a fantastic game, and an almost perfect jump to the 16-bit era for this series. While I do have my gripes with it, some that are a repeating offender in Konami’s titles around this time, I still had a blast with it, and I would definitely go back to replay it again and again.

The story is… well, aliens attacking, just like the last three games, but then again, NOBODY is playing these games for the story, the graphics are fantastic, being a massive step-up from the previous titles, and having a lot of fast-paced action and energy to complement it, the music is incredible, giving you enough energy to get ready to shoot up a bunch of alien scum, with several tracks being standouts for how good they are, the control is a natural improvement over the previous games, feeling familiar, yet adding just enough to make it feel like more, and that usually never goes wrong, and the gameplay is also a natural improvement over the previous games, basically being the same as past titles, while containing enough energy, action, and difficulty to be an absolute blast.

The game is a run-’n-gun title, where you go through plenty of action-packed levels, take down gauntlets of enemies that will come and fire at you from all sides, use various weapons and bombs to get an advantage over enemies, including new weapons like homing missiles, along with new moves that the player can pull off, and take on a seemingly never-ending supply of bosses, each of them ranging in how the player needs to approach them and take them down, making the game more fun. It all just feels like a constant rush of energy, with things constantly happening around you, you needing to step up to the plate to take on all of what is coming at you, and whenever you do, it feels INCREDIBLE, especially on a harder difficulty. This, coupled with the same fun as fuck gameplay that has been with the series since the beginning, makes it a very appealing and fun game, even more so then the previous games.

Just like with the last games, there are different sections of gameplay that you will play through. Of course, you have the usual side-scrolling levels, where you move from left to right (or up or down), shooting everything in sight and climbing on things, while also differentiating it at points, such as having a stage where you ride a motorcycle and you jump around on missiles, which is only the best stage in any video game ever. It is all still very fun and satisfying, and the developers succeeded fully in making it so that there is constant action, where things don’t seem repetitive, and there will always be something new to take on. In addition to this, there is now a new variant on top-down stages, where the player chooses where they start in an arena filled with enemies and traps, take down the sentry points, and then take on the boss. At first, I didn’t really like these stages all too much, but then when I replayed them for this review, I did find myself having more fun with them, and the reason I didn’t like them before was probably because I sucked.

Which sort of leads on to my one gripe with the game. Now, of course, this game is very hard, arguably the hardest game in the series so far, which is par for the course for Contra at this point. Thankfully, there is an options menu where you can adjust how many lives you have, as well as the difficulty of the game. But, speaking of the difficulty, Konami decided they wanted their players to EARN their victory, and hid the true final bosses and ending behind the hardest difficulty. This may be a hot take, but I HATE it when video games hide bonus content on harder difficulties, because it keeps newcomers from experiencing the game at its fullest just because they aren’t as good at the game as they want. I guess I could sort of forgive this for newer video games, given how forgiving they usually are, but considering this is a game with limited continues, it does suck whenever you try to experience this content, but die immediately because it is on Hard mode, and you have to start the game over because of the limited continues.

Overall, despite that one gripe with the difficulties, this is without a doubt the best game in the Contra series so far, as I had an absolute blast playing through it, and I don’t know how any other game after this will be able to top it. I would highly recommend this for Contra fans, fans of run-’n-gunners, as well as those who are looking for a new challenge to conquer. Because trust me, this game will give you that challenge and then some. It’s just a shame that I won’t be able to attack the other games in this series as aggressively as Bill and Lance had me attack this one.

Game #313

Another classic from my childhood. I definitely understand why it has its current reputation. And I get why the opinion on it has so drastically changed into the negative. It's one of the only Mario games that lacks the Nintendo standard of polish, and almost every bit of it feels like it is being held together by shoestrings and chewing gum. But Super Mario Sunshine is creative, and unique.

The Fludd adds a good deal to the platforming, it makes me wish there was a Sunshine 2 where they could have expanded it further. Clearing off the goop with the water jets is satisfying, and you get to use it in a couple creative ways. Sure, a lot of times moving and jumping with Mario feels wonky, but the different secondary nozzles are all fun enough to make up for it.

So yeah, it's good, and yes it has problems. Yes, the brightness is legitimately blinding and they lock the ability to adjust it behind 50 shines, and yes they make you reset that again every time you go back to the hub. Yes the final boss is piss easy. Yes the secret red coin pachinko game is really annoying and made me want to shove Miyamoto in the face, and sure, on my 5th time trying to get through that boat section in Corona Mountain I wanted to hurt him physically. Absolutely.

But the game is still a blast. It's pretty, the music is great, and it feels different to other games like Mario 64 or Odyssey. Try it out again. For me.

As one would expect, Mega Man 4 was yet another fantastic entry in this fantastic series, continuing the solid gameplay for a fourth roundabout, while introducing enough to see that the series still had elements to bring to the table, despite how at this point, things were getting pretty repetitive for most players, and how it was seen as the beginning of the “Meh” trilogy of Mega Man games. So, of course, a sequel was inevitable, although there would be troubles when it came to developing this sequel, given how there was a new project leader for this game, and how the developers felt they already succeeded in what they wanted to do with the series with Mega Man 4. So, instead of trying reinvent the wheel, or putting unnecessary dents into it, they just decided to try to make a bigger and better experience with the next game, and thus, we got Mega Man 5 as a result.

Out of all the Mega Man games on the NES, I would say Mega Man 5 is the one that is the most well-centered of the bunch. While it does introduce new elements to the series like previous entries, it focuses more on making the gameplay more fun and accessible, while still trying new things to not seem like a broken record… even though most would probably consider it one at that point. With that in mind, I would consider it to be yet another wonderful entry in this series(wow, what a shocker), and a definite improvement over Mega Man 4, which was already great to begin with. Sure, it’s not perfect, and it does carry the same issue that Mega Man 4 had, but it is still just as fun as any of the other games so far in this franchise (at least for me), and I love it dearly.

The story is actually somewhat different from the usual “robots are being violent, go stop them”, although let’s be honest, a kidnapping plot isn’t any better, the graphics are about the same as the other four games, but of course, the sprites and animations have been improved upon here, the music is great, as per usual, the control is just as responsive and solid as ever, and the gameplay still carries the same run and gunning style that still manages to be fun and addictive, five titles in.

The gameplay remains the same as the gameplay for all of the other Mega Man games at this point, where you take control of the blue bomber, go through eight plus stages in whatever order you please, shoot down all of the enemies that you come across along the way, pick up many different health, ammo, and special items to give you an edge over what you will face, take on a set of Robot Masters and bosses, and gain their special abilities to help you out against stronger opponents. Most of it remains unchanged, although there is alterations made to elements like the mega buster, making it much more powerful and having a much wider range, as well as the Rush Coil, which now, rather then just bouncing you up to your destination, it bounces up itself, and you have to jump off of it. Not sure why they changed that, but it still works nonetheless.

New additions to this game would be that, for the first time in a Mega Man game, there is a consistent collectible to get throughout the game. Yes, the previous games have had optional weapons to get, but they weren’t a consistent part of all the levels, and moreso just one or two random things you could grab if you wished to. For this game, there are letters that spell out “MEGAMANV”, and you can collect one of these letters in each of the eight initial stages. While they aren’t really that hard to find or even collect (with the one in Stone Man Stage being somewhat of an exception), what you get from them is absolutely worth the effort of collecting them in the first place, so this is a much appreciated addition. Alongside that, there are also several moments in the game where the gameplay is mixed up to implement new challenges never before seen in the series, such as one stage where gravity is inverted in most instances, and one stage that includes a vehicle section for the first time in the series. There aren’t too many of these moments, but when they do show up, it is much appreciated, and it makes the game more varied and fun.

I don’t have too many problems with this game, which isn’t surprising, but I do carry the problem that I had with Mega Man 4: the unnecessary padding. Just like in that last game, there is a twist in the plot (even though it is pretty obvious), and also just like that last game, you have to go through two final castles rather than just one. It is fun padding, but it is padding nonetheless, and it is still not needed here. Aside from that, and some minor frustrations that I have with some of the weapons in the game (cough, Power Stone, cough), there’s not really much else I can complain about this game. It is solid enough, even if it doesn’t leave too much of an impact on the universe or these characters.

Overall, despite the same padding issues as before and not too much change to the gameplay, Mega Man 5 is still a great romp through and through, and definitely the best of the “Meh” trilogy of Mega Man games on the NES. I would definitely recommend it for Mega Man fans, and for those who might wanna try getting into the series, as it isn’t that bad of a place to start. And since I can’t think of a joke to end this review on, I wanna point out that one of the weapons in this game, the Napalm Bomb, is shortened to “N-Bomb” in the selection screen, and that is fucking hilarious.

Game #304

The turtles’ first attempt at a video game didn’t really work out so well, with it having some level of promise, but being held back by horrible level design, awkward-ass movement, and just a general lack of care, which isn’t something you would expect to see from an early Turtles game made by Konami. But hey, at least the worst is behind us, and we can now move onto the good stuff. Like I mentioned in the TMNT NES review, Konami was primarily responsible for developing a good handful of the early TMNT games for a while, and a good number of them are held in high regard, so needless to say, I was in for some good ol’ fashioned arcade beat-’em-up fun… at least, that’s what I thought going into it, and yet, I had a somewhat different experience with TMNT for the arcades.

Going into this game, I was expecting an absolute BANGER of an arcade beat-’em-up, similar to what TMNT: Turtles in Time gave me and many others. After all, it was made by Konami, and Turtles in Time was made afterwards, so surely the original arcade game has to have some sort of similar quality that Turtles in Time borrowed from, right? Well, I mean… it kind of does. Don’t get me wrong, this game isn’t bad at all, as it does lay the groundwork for what TMNT back then games should be, and it does have some good qualities that hold up to this day, but… it is pretty rough, for more then one reason. For these reasons, I can only say that the game is alright, and nothing more. Yes, I did enjoy my time with it (to an extent), but there are several big factors holding this game back from being great, or even that good.

The story is your average TMNT affair: Shredder’s fucking about, go stop him, which is pretty much all you need for one of the earliest TMNT games, so I will allow it, the graphics are really damn good, being very colorful, with enjoyable animations from the turtles, and extremely well done sprites for the characters, the music is absolutely fantastic, having some of the best, and dare I say, raddest tunes of any liscensed arcade game out there, the control is very solid, with all the usual actions you would expect, and the gameplay is… extremely basic, which would usually be enough for me to get behind, but again, there are some issues with it that we will get to.

The game is your average 2D side-scrolling beat-’em-up, where you take control of one of the four Ninja Turtles, go through several stages of a very hostile New York (even more hostile than normal), beat up as many Foot Soldiers or other threats that attack you, grab any pizza that is lying about (which is probably all moldy and disgusting by now) to give you and edge up on your foes, and take on plenty of iconic bosses from the comics and TV show that will certainly put you to the test. Now, all of this should make a pretty incredible arcade experience, and for a good chunk of it, it does, as the presentation is still absolutely fantastic, but the gameplay does hold it back from reaching that potential.

First and foremost, the game is way too basic in terms of a beat-’em-up. Yes, that is to be expected for a game like this released around this time, but there is a way to provide a memorable environment while still sticking to the basics for your gameplay. Captain Commando is a good example of it, and even Konami’s own The Simpsons Arcade Game could also fill out these roles. Sure, those did come out later, but they both have a very unique world and energy to them that still makes them endearing, and therefore, more fun. With this game, however, it is pretty much a checklist for what you would expect to see in a TMNT beat-’em-up, and nothing more, which was all that players and fans needed back in the day, but considering the leaps and bounds that future games would take, like with Turtles and Time and even Shredder’s Revenge much later down the line, it does make this one seem less preferable, and just stands as “the first one” as a result.

And secondly, with this being the main problem I have with this game… this game is pretty damn hard. Now, I know what you are thinking, “Yeah, no shit, it’s an old arcade game, of course it is hard”, but something about the difficulty of the game doesn’t feel right, and even feels somewhat unfair at times. There are many times where you can easily be ganged up on by both enemies and bosses, take a lot of damage before you can do anything about it, and your pocket full of change will quickly diminish as a result. Seriously, there were many points where I could barely get a good amount of hits on a boss before I then got smacked down for even trying to attempt to play the game. The part that fully encapsulates this unfair difficulty balance would be with the fight against Shredder. It is appropriate that he would be the hardest part of the game, as he is the final boss, but good GOD, the amount of damage he deals to you and how fast he can kill you is ridiculous, with clones that will happily interrupt your attacks on the regular, attacks that you can’t avoid too easily, and one attack that INSTANTLY KILLS YOU. Yeah, that is bullshit, and I don’t care what anyone says against my statement on that.

Now, with all of that said, it is still a good game. Like I mentioned before, the presentation is absolutely incredible, and the gameplay still serves as the basis for what all other TMNT beat-’em-ups should be, but again, it’s the difficulty and the somewhat blandness of the game that makes it less than desirable when compared to other titles. Would this be sufficient enough for someone who hasn’t played any other TMNT game, as well as being one of the first games from the turtles? Absolutely, but considering where we have come since then, and the things that I mentioned earlier, it is definitely a game that I am not gonna be coming back to in the near future.

Overall, while the game has great graphics and music, while also giving off the exact feeling of what a TMNT game should be, the gameplay is basic enough and unfairly challenging enough to the point where I can only consider it alright in comparison to other similar titles. I would only recommend it for those who are either fans of the later TMNT games, or for those who are fans of TMNT in general, but otherwise, there are plenty of better options out there. Also, can we just talk about how, for the promotional illustrations of this game, the Ninja Turtles themselves are illustrated, but April ‘o Neil and Shredder are being portrayed by real people. The fuck’s that all about? Let’s just hope that those two actors got paid a hefty sack of cash for that, because they look really stupid in those poses.

Game #303