12 reviews liked by dartrook02


remember when the internet tried to convince itself this game was bad actually. lmao

The sign is a subtle joke. The shop is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed", where feed and seed both end in the sound "-eed", thus rhyming with the name of the owner, Sneed. The sign says that the shop was "Formerly Chuck's", implying that the two words beginning with "F" and "S" would have ended with "-uck", rhyming with "Chuck". So, when Chuck owned the shop, it would have been called "Chuck's Fuck and Suck".

Here's a tip: Don't play Super Mario Bros. 3 on a laptop, on a handheld or in its remade "All-Star" iteration. For the ideal experience, grab yourself an awkward, unwieldy controller that's slightly too big for your hands (an Xbox one will do), fire up an emulator with a good scanline filter, and play it on a huge screen in all its chunky 8-bit glory (provided of course you don't happen to have an NES and a CRT TV nearby).

Why? Because then you'll start get a feel for what's so incredible about it: that it's a breathtakingly beautiful, iconic pop art masterpiece in form of a children's toy. Try to imagine the wealth of outlandish schoolyard rumours about hidden secrets in the game, half of which are probably true, and your parents disapprovingly shaking their heads at the colorful flashing images and beep-boop soundscape, breathing down your neck like oversized smoke-puffing turtle dragons, telling you that you have ten more minutes before you really need to get ready for church or whatever, all while you make Mario run, slide and jump for his life, frantically trying to make it to the final stage without a save feature.

Mario 3 is the Sgt. Pepper of my generation, and I say this without any childhood nostalgia. After all, I never experienced the scenario described above (having been a Sega kid who was busy playing Sonic the Hedgehog, the equivalent of listening to the Stones instead).

This is a PSA:

Do NOT play the PSP rerelease of this game.

Play the fan-translated PS1 version of the game instead.

The original version has:

-A fun and experimental semi-automatic battle system that only requires player input to set-up commands, and pause to edit them. This allows for fast action, natural discovery of teamwork fusion attacks, and player experimentation with the card/negotiation system.

-actual challenge that ramps up as you play and makes the player think about their compositions and actions.

-loading screens only during loading saves and loading up the game

-a far superior UI aesthetic and generally more unified vision with regard to visuals, music, and battle voice lines

-is amazing

The PSP version has:

-a butchered version of the combat system that forces the player to repeatedly input the same commands at the start of every turn for no reason whatsoever

-absolutely no challenge, even on hard mode.

-loading before every fight

-slowed down battle animations

-script censorship

-if you see reviews calling this game a slog to play, it's cause they played this one
-----------------------------
I personally played the psp version twice, not knowing at all about these differences. I played the ps1 version once and it was like a whole new game. I don't know how they fucked up the psp version so bad with the combat and balancing, but I've heard the psp version of the sequel is much better (although the fan translation is yet to come out).

The one downside of playing the ps1 version of this game is that the fan translation has a little bit of that old 2000's era language in it in places and can feel like a bit of a relic (uses the word "gay" as a kind of insult for the sake of a translated pun(?) in a few places, among other stuff, but overall wasn't the worst and otherwise felt well-done and accurately localized, the translator is a bit of a legend in the realm of fan-made localizations).

This review contains spoilers

I have never felt so mixed about a video game before. At times I think it is another nice addition to the PS exclusive catalog but at other times I believe it to be one of the worst games to have come out this past decade. There are many things wrong with this game that I'm not sure if I can type them all here.

The gameplay? Ah! The gameplay.

It's fun...for the first 5 hours. After that, it's really the same shit over and over and over. It gets really old quick. The best part of the game is when you play as the character that everybody has a hate boner for (personally, I thought Abby was an alright character).

The story? Eh. It's okay. I'm not too pissed about Joel dying but really it is such a weak story compared to the last game. The zombies played no part in the story and there is not a single interesting way that the story is told. It's all just scripted events that only makes the player go "wow." So yeah, not a fan of that.

Overall, this game is a massive disappointment and not innovate at all. It's Naughty Dog guys. What were you expecting? A video game that tells the narrative through gameplay and has fun engaging stages? If you want "art" then go play Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes. That's a game I consider to be art; not this mess.

You'll enjoy this wild ride of a story if you like any of the following:
- Total Recall
- Terminator
- Source Code
- Godzilla
- Shutter Island
- Pacific Rim
- Groundhog Day
- The War of the Worlds
- 2001: A Space Odyssey
- Matrix
- Macross
- Mazinger Z
- Evangelion
- Sailor Moon
- Megazone 23
- Steins;Gate
- Remember11
- Virtue's Last Reward
And a shit-ton of other works I haven't played/watched/read that I'm now interested in.

This review was written before the game released

is it just a challenge now to see which studio can make the most pointless remake of all time

don't give nicalis money. don't support publishers who deceive and fuck over the actual artists and creators. just find the free original version (which can be modded for full/widescreen, etc.)

This review contains spoilers

When the Phantom Theives are celebrating at Universalland, Makoto brings up their previous trip to Destinyland like it's a fond memory. You know, that time Haru watched her father fucking die on live television

This was my first MegaTen game not named 'Persona' and it was a hell of a ride. The story is a bit weak and the dungeon design is mediocre, but the characters, the battle system, and the incredible aesthetic all make up for it in spades.

I also found the difficulty hit the perfect sweet spot - it was never difficult enough for me to have to go out of my way to grind exp, but it was also a challenge figuring out the best demon line-up and best strategy to take on the dungeons and bosses.