85 Reviews liked by jeeble


the closest there's ever been to a great James Bond movie

if video games were food, this would be a very filling and nourishing bowl of chicken noodle soup. maybe it's nothing showstopping or outlandish, but it's something that will give you a warmth that very few things on earth can.

Doom

1993

I have nothing profound to say about DOOM. You know what it is, you've played it. One time my boss caught me playing DOOM at work on my first edition iPod Nano. He was probably jealous.

Doom

1993

not nearly enough platforms listed in the Played On section here. i played this on a piano once.

Say what you want about the frustrating dungeon design, intensely cryptic progression, deeply, relentlessly brutal, unfair and unfun difficulty level, tacked-on experience system and repetitive and bland aesthetic, despite all of this Adventure of Link has one huge redeeming feature that doesn't receive enough praise and that is that it did not kill off the Zelda series.

Typically fantastic level design and the most personally nostalgic soundtrack of any of these, but the easy, repetitive goals and extremely horrendous non-skateboarding mechanics make the supposed evolution of this franchise an overall miss for me. Nothing added besides the acid drop does anything but make this a worse game than its predecessor, the peak of a series that thought it needed to change. Also one time while my parents were getting divorced I saw a guy wallride irl and I said "whoa insane wallride" and my dad said "huh the boy knows a bit about skateboarding eh" and my mom said "yeah because all he does is play Tony Hawk all day" which was a dig at his non-involvement in our lives because he'd already moved out.......but today I quit my job with no notice and finished this game again lol, mom had me pegged in 2004

the most 2003 videogame ever made

I’ve had this experience a few times now where I’d play Symphony with someone who’d already had their hands on it at least once, and they’d repeatedly go “oh shit I didn’t know you could do that.” It's one of those games that seem very "obviously" great: unmatched presentation, responsive controls, a big-ass non-linear world with tons of items and enemies; but if those qualities have you shrugging your shoulders, you might be led to assume there's nothing more substantive going on under the hood.

The way spells are implemented is still wild to me and a perfect example for what I mean: Alucard technically has access to all of them from the start via a series of fighting game commands, but the game doesn’t actually divulge the necessary inputs unless you purchase the respective scrolls from the shop or stumble upon them by accident. I don’t know how exactly to relate this sense of spitting-your-drink-out surprise that I got whenever I’d trigger some new crazy move, but it’s exemplary of that natural curiosity Symphony inspires that draws me to it so much. Do we even need to talk about the inverted castle? It’s hard to say whether it was some kind of last minute addition (Bat Form means the level design doesn’t actually have to “work” upside-down and a lot of the mob enemies here can fly around too,) but the fact the devs seized that possibility at all is so impressive to me. The pacing in this second half is completely different from the first, letting you experience familiar locations in a way that’s nothing short of alien.

It’s honestly odd how Metroidvanias made in the wake of Symphony haven’t replicated this idea of giving you a dedicated endgame to actually flex with all your new abilities in (instead of just the token collectible item hunt with no new enemies or obstacles to make that process more interesting.) That’s on top of all the insane technical bullshit Symphony lets you overpower its challenges with, from Bat-Dashing over slopes to all the wild effects you get with the Shield Rod, another itch most modern genre takes don’t scratch. If you wrote this game off because you felt it didn’t have enough meat on its bones, I encourage you to give it another look and dig into its bottomless treasure chest of secrets and painstaking details.

just watch the avgn video instead. the full, non-abridged version of this is so tedious that it negates most of the humor

Greatest Shrek game I ever played