proximete
just about anything your cruel, wicked hands can make using funny, rudimentary drawing tools is available here tightened together with both a charming artstyle and ost (when it isn't complete dead silence, sfx included). apparently ghibli had a hand in this and it shows with the magical design of the game's city hub and its simple but cute cast of citizens. the dialogue they spit out's bone dry unfortunately, but i'm figuring this is more of a case of cleaned up we-don't-give-a-shit machine translation than it is the japanese dev's fault.
anyway you make hideous or cute or both rock-paper-scissor fighting pokemon and battle in of two arenas for four hours--i didn't venture past that much. and it's not as if the gameplay loop isn't funny, but it's less so when grinding is inevitable and the sameyness dulls your excitement. the voice actors sound about as excited as the story writer
but frankly for those four hours, i had a ton of fun. victor frankensteining red limbs and blue teeth and calling it "DENTIST" is fun, and seeing him and an among us melon clobber a bunny earns way too much a smile. it's just i could sense the writing wasn't going to get any better, the location wasn't going to change any time soon, the educated guessing games were running together, and a glitch crippled "DETER" the well dressed corn
https://imgur.com/a/DBdgBGk
anyway you make hideous or cute or both rock-paper-scissor fighting pokemon and battle in of two arenas for four hours--i didn't venture past that much. and it's not as if the gameplay loop isn't funny, but it's less so when grinding is inevitable and the sameyness dulls your excitement. the voice actors sound about as excited as the story writer
but frankly for those four hours, i had a ton of fun. victor frankensteining red limbs and blue teeth and calling it "DENTIST" is fun, and seeing him and an among us melon clobber a bunny earns way too much a smile. it's just i could sense the writing wasn't going to get any better, the location wasn't going to change any time soon, the educated guessing games were running together, and a glitch crippled "DETER" the well dressed corn
https://imgur.com/a/DBdgBGk
This review contains spoilers
the first thing i need to talk about is brevity, and the cruel, cruel lack of it in many circumstances. the game opens with a strong, meaty first case that dares to blow out any other series starting trial thus far--and succeeds. the great ace attorney then follows this up with a second case that is completely investigation--no trial--and does so with a lack of respect to player's time as it drags things out as far as it can with walls and walls of, frankly, not very funny text. compare and contrast the mountains of dialogue one has to sift through just to examine, say, a clock versus the first investigation of phoenix wright: ace attorney in which objects may give you... one line, two maximum. it's this rampant time wasting that really unfortunately stains the first half of the game--but! it does pick up, at least.
more complaints. the writing gets tipsy and attempts to walk a tightrope between cartoonish goofy and actually sickening cheese. what this means is that much of the dialogue is light hearted but never actually funny, though this much isn't offensive or anything. it's really just bad when you get a bunch of overly sappy lines thrown at you towards the end that land with complete cloying emptiness. it also means sherlock holmes and his goblin assistant fail to really nail much of their attempts at humor. it also also means the eye rolling dramatic moves from your law partner towards the end are aggravating. i could go on.
but this is a four stars review. that's because at great ace attorney's heart lies some incredibly iron tight trials with incredibly delightful twists and turns that always feel natural and logical. especially logical--my favorite aspect of the game is how many lines of reasoning the developers account for, in that you could reasonably assume a theory and piece of evidence for the WRONG testimony, and so they have bonus dialogue to account for it and steer you in the right direction. it's a validating feeling. i'm also memorized by the jury, that which makes the world of ace attorney feel more lively and connected--it's nice to see familiar faces. there's a little jury summation system where you have to pit jurors against each other and i honestly love it. oh, the multi wit dialogue system is cool, too, to a degree--i don't really like having to press every statement JUST in case there's going to be an "outburst", but i simultaneously love how they play with the system in the very last case.
one more massive bit of praise: case 4. case 4 is easily the best "middle" case of ace attorney history, hands down. why? it's desperate. it's shockingly desperate. the case revolves around what should be open and shut, and your attempts to defend the alleged perpetrator come off as even further cementing him as the killer. it's the one time in this series' history where i genuinely felt backed up against a wall, grasping at anything and everything i could think to get my client off.
on one last note, i find it very disappointing that the protagonist is yet another phoenix wright/apollo justice. it seems this series can only think to write one specific type of main character, and it's seriously getting limp.
more complaints. the writing gets tipsy and attempts to walk a tightrope between cartoonish goofy and actually sickening cheese. what this means is that much of the dialogue is light hearted but never actually funny, though this much isn't offensive or anything. it's really just bad when you get a bunch of overly sappy lines thrown at you towards the end that land with complete cloying emptiness. it also means sherlock holmes and his goblin assistant fail to really nail much of their attempts at humor. it also also means the eye rolling dramatic moves from your law partner towards the end are aggravating. i could go on.
but this is a four stars review. that's because at great ace attorney's heart lies some incredibly iron tight trials with incredibly delightful twists and turns that always feel natural and logical. especially logical--my favorite aspect of the game is how many lines of reasoning the developers account for, in that you could reasonably assume a theory and piece of evidence for the WRONG testimony, and so they have bonus dialogue to account for it and steer you in the right direction. it's a validating feeling. i'm also memorized by the jury, that which makes the world of ace attorney feel more lively and connected--it's nice to see familiar faces. there's a little jury summation system where you have to pit jurors against each other and i honestly love it. oh, the multi wit dialogue system is cool, too, to a degree--i don't really like having to press every statement JUST in case there's going to be an "outburst", but i simultaneously love how they play with the system in the very last case.
one more massive bit of praise: case 4. case 4 is easily the best "middle" case of ace attorney history, hands down. why? it's desperate. it's shockingly desperate. the case revolves around what should be open and shut, and your attempts to defend the alleged perpetrator come off as even further cementing him as the killer. it's the one time in this series' history where i genuinely felt backed up against a wall, grasping at anything and everything i could think to get my client off.
on one last note, i find it very disappointing that the protagonist is yet another phoenix wright/apollo justice. it seems this series can only think to write one specific type of main character, and it's seriously getting limp.
i'm not really sure if the writers involved with this project--of which there are five of--even like or understand video games. and i say this in the sense that life is strange: true colors doesn't seem interested in the player nor their agency, nor their decision making, nor their interest or interpretations of characters. and i say all this because never before has there been a life is strange where your choices are a game of "well, what's the LEAST embarrassing of the two?", where your choices are "alex says something vapid and stupid" and "alex says something vapid and stupid but with a smile".
and alex, good lord, is the wet blanket protagonist of all wet blanket protagonists, a player stand-in that doesn't really even work considering how you may want her to act or speak doesn't matter because it doesn't align with how the five writers want her to speak. am i making sense, here? if the first life is strange player, for instance, did not like a character, that player was given the tools to express it. everyone is soft and spongy in true colors, speaking in mounds of references and absolutely terrible, bog standard romcom slurry. and what a cast this is--you know, there's nothing wrong with the slow paced slice of life approach that i keep seeing nowadays from western companies and studios, but it seems they all forget that these SOL attempts require a main ingredient: lovable, interesting casts. and who the hell am i supposed to latch onto when everyone spouts out that same aforementioned slurry, where every line is right on the edge of irony poisoning and extreme self awareness? how am i supposed to connect with generic indie rock loving hipster girl alex whose offered observations could not be any less boring, any more forgettable? i can't remember a single line she's offered about her environments save for the very, very dry references to REAL BAND here and REAL BAND there and REAL MOVIE here and... so forth, and so forth like a marvel convention equivalent of a mixer.
i made the claim that these writers don't like or understand video games, and it's based on all i've written thus far and just three more points. ONE: nearly everything feels set in stone, as if the game is a compromise to the writers to tell their otherwise straightforward forgettable young adult novel i had to suffer through many of in college. TWO: you're given a power to read the thoughts of others, but this is heavily limited to very, very, very few characters, the majority of NPCs seemingly unable to give you anything, as if they aren't there, as if the writers did not want to push themselves just a little bit more to add some flavor to this lifeless mess. and THREE: why the fuck can't you land in the minecart in that arcade game? come on, now.
i just can't find a single positive trait in this. the graphics are fine, the soundtrack may or may not even exist because i don't remember any of it. the voice acting is a medley of first takes. the actual "gameplay" sections impose without merit. the choices have never been more meaningless. the consequences have never been more toothless. the observation mechanic has no real development for what it is. the flavor text is lifeless. the characters are lifeless. the story is lifeless. the developers' ambitions are lifeless, and this game may as well not exist at all for all it isn't: no teeth, all gums.
and alex, good lord, is the wet blanket protagonist of all wet blanket protagonists, a player stand-in that doesn't really even work considering how you may want her to act or speak doesn't matter because it doesn't align with how the five writers want her to speak. am i making sense, here? if the first life is strange player, for instance, did not like a character, that player was given the tools to express it. everyone is soft and spongy in true colors, speaking in mounds of references and absolutely terrible, bog standard romcom slurry. and what a cast this is--you know, there's nothing wrong with the slow paced slice of life approach that i keep seeing nowadays from western companies and studios, but it seems they all forget that these SOL attempts require a main ingredient: lovable, interesting casts. and who the hell am i supposed to latch onto when everyone spouts out that same aforementioned slurry, where every line is right on the edge of irony poisoning and extreme self awareness? how am i supposed to connect with generic indie rock loving hipster girl alex whose offered observations could not be any less boring, any more forgettable? i can't remember a single line she's offered about her environments save for the very, very dry references to REAL BAND here and REAL BAND there and REAL MOVIE here and... so forth, and so forth like a marvel convention equivalent of a mixer.
i made the claim that these writers don't like or understand video games, and it's based on all i've written thus far and just three more points. ONE: nearly everything feels set in stone, as if the game is a compromise to the writers to tell their otherwise straightforward forgettable young adult novel i had to suffer through many of in college. TWO: you're given a power to read the thoughts of others, but this is heavily limited to very, very, very few characters, the majority of NPCs seemingly unable to give you anything, as if they aren't there, as if the writers did not want to push themselves just a little bit more to add some flavor to this lifeless mess. and THREE: why the fuck can't you land in the minecart in that arcade game? come on, now.
i just can't find a single positive trait in this. the graphics are fine, the soundtrack may or may not even exist because i don't remember any of it. the voice acting is a medley of first takes. the actual "gameplay" sections impose without merit. the choices have never been more meaningless. the consequences have never been more toothless. the observation mechanic has no real development for what it is. the flavor text is lifeless. the characters are lifeless. the story is lifeless. the developers' ambitions are lifeless, and this game may as well not exist at all for all it isn't: no teeth, all gums.
2019
kind of boring. like, maybe aggressively boring. i'm not explicitly saying give me a gun and an enemy (actually, that'd be great) but having a majority of the obstacles appear to be 1) get good at flying (which i more or less mastered by the end of my four hours), 2) wait around for things to happen or unhappen (wow!), 3) walk around in mazes (exciting), or 4) dodge cacti (challenging) all sort of wears down on me and makes me want to do something else.
i guess to enjoy this game you have to have your eyes explode out of your head at the concept of spaceflight or be really uncomfortable about aiming virtual guns. outer wilds feels barely a step above walking simulators, something i don't outright dislike but would rather experience with the novelty of VR versus through a flat experience.
writing's fine but nothing really sucks me into the world like that one black hole sporadically eating other orbs. it's a reflection on myself, i'd say--i'm so tired of audio diary video games. i just don't fucking care.
honestly, the best way to put this is that i had more fun watching my friends play it than i did playing the game myself.
i guess to enjoy this game you have to have your eyes explode out of your head at the concept of spaceflight or be really uncomfortable about aiming virtual guns. outer wilds feels barely a step above walking simulators, something i don't outright dislike but would rather experience with the novelty of VR versus through a flat experience.
writing's fine but nothing really sucks me into the world like that one black hole sporadically eating other orbs. it's a reflection on myself, i'd say--i'm so tired of audio diary video games. i just don't fucking care.
honestly, the best way to put this is that i had more fun watching my friends play it than i did playing the game myself.
2017
play along with the ride and it all makes sense. try to go against it and your character will devolve into some sort of deranged schizophrenic who just does things arbitrarily. the illusion of choice couldn't be more annoying, but you know what's even worse? the complete absence of a fastforward/skip button. these scenes once is enough--twice and more and i'm done.
2021
when it comes to failing in a video game and trying, trying again, it's easy for me to reach for the quickload key to avoid repeating already made progress. anything less feels like a head against the wall, a repetition so repetitive i'd rather repeat uninstalling the game. over-exaggerating obviously, but it's easy to crutch saves to keep the flow going, and this is a reason why rougelites and like--even prey's mooncrash--are so fearsome to me. this is also a reason why deathloop initially put me off, a full fledged project built off said prey dlc. no quicksaves, no quickloading, and you're going to see these levels a whole, whole lot...
and it works brilliant.
deathloop offers you four distinct playgrounds, each filled with npcs set to schedules and routines for you to observe and plan around. and when you disturb them? you can't go back on your word, so you either take a stand and empty some clips or bail and haul ass to the complete other side of the map. it can feel frustrating entering unfamiliar territory and constantly getting caught by surprise... just as much as it can feel rewarding to weave through learned territory to the degree it becomes colt's proving ground.
colt's the main character by the way, and he and primary antagonist julianna spend much of the game bickering across the radio and trying to kill or escape one another during gameplay. players can control julianna, by the way, in a form of dark souls-esque invasions less about dueling (and taking advantage of inexperienced players) and more about cat-and-mousing (and taking advantage of inexperienced players). the feeling is intoxicating for a well played arkane player. with the dishonoreds, thiefs, and deus exes under my belt, i take a lot of pride in the ways i stalk unsuspecting players, distracting them and rerouting them and waiting on them until suddenly my blade's in their back. i also take my fair slice of humble pie when a julianna invades my own world and drops every peg in my leg... three times, too.
right, you get three lives in a loop, and it allows for a fine sweet spot of allowing for experiments and punishing strings of one too many failed. and you'll want to experiment: colt's got a lot of tools ripped from arkane's previous work in addition to some fun new ones, and there's a lot of ways to traverse levels through combat, stealth, and somewhere inbetween. it's not perfect, though... ai is at a bizarre level of simple where you can get away with a lot more than you think just as much as you can suddenly have the entire half of the map zeroed in on your location because you stepped on a fucking rock wrong. and when you see enemies, you're going to want to mark them: this works half the time, and every mis-click or mis-mark will... get rid of the ones you actually got successfully marked. yeah, you'll want a sniper, and don't even try doing this shit through a fucking window for whatever reason.
but you'll keep fucking pushing through it, and not just because it's fun... you want to know what's going down with the fucking story. also, the fucking story sucks. deathloop features a cast of just 9 fucking characters and every single one of them fucking sucks. dialogue is fucking wretched. these characters fucking talk like they're trying to out-quip or out-annoy each fucking other, and the personalities themselves of the fucking targets could not be any fucking duller. i'm having a tough time caring about the fucking drugged out painter who slurs words or the fucking party owner who sounds like a prissy yuppie, and it's a fucking shame because it could be so much fucking cooler than it fucking is. also, i wish they fucking swore more if i'm fucking honest because i love when characters fucking swear over and over and over and fucking over and fucking over and fucking over like they're a fucking sixth grader let fucking loose onto the fucking internet with un-fucking-supervised fucking access. goddamn.
sorry had to get that out of my system--the dialogue really is wretched and the ending, in classic arkane fashion, won't deliver on anything either because of course it won't, it's a classic arkane game. these fools know how to create masterclasses in game design and generate incredible intrigue in their narratives only to fumble the fucking ball legitimately every single time. with how fast and done these games' endings always are, arkane's next project may as well have the player just walk up to a button that says "PRESS HERE TO END GAMEPLAY AND ROLL CREDITS".
and while all that's unfortunate on the writing end, it's not something i expect out of an arkane experience: i look for damned good imsim shenanigans and gameplay that rewards planning and experimentation. deathloop is damned good imsim shenanigans, and deathloop is gameplay that rewards planning, experimentation, trial and error and successes and failures and wins and losses and personal, weighty progress. it's not about the destination even if that certainly docks it a few points: deathloop is about tools and rules, and how you break them from loop to loop to loop. and it's damned fun. or fucking fun. fuck.
and it works brilliant.
deathloop offers you four distinct playgrounds, each filled with npcs set to schedules and routines for you to observe and plan around. and when you disturb them? you can't go back on your word, so you either take a stand and empty some clips or bail and haul ass to the complete other side of the map. it can feel frustrating entering unfamiliar territory and constantly getting caught by surprise... just as much as it can feel rewarding to weave through learned territory to the degree it becomes colt's proving ground.
colt's the main character by the way, and he and primary antagonist julianna spend much of the game bickering across the radio and trying to kill or escape one another during gameplay. players can control julianna, by the way, in a form of dark souls-esque invasions less about dueling (and taking advantage of inexperienced players) and more about cat-and-mousing (and taking advantage of inexperienced players). the feeling is intoxicating for a well played arkane player. with the dishonoreds, thiefs, and deus exes under my belt, i take a lot of pride in the ways i stalk unsuspecting players, distracting them and rerouting them and waiting on them until suddenly my blade's in their back. i also take my fair slice of humble pie when a julianna invades my own world and drops every peg in my leg... three times, too.
right, you get three lives in a loop, and it allows for a fine sweet spot of allowing for experiments and punishing strings of one too many failed. and you'll want to experiment: colt's got a lot of tools ripped from arkane's previous work in addition to some fun new ones, and there's a lot of ways to traverse levels through combat, stealth, and somewhere inbetween. it's not perfect, though... ai is at a bizarre level of simple where you can get away with a lot more than you think just as much as you can suddenly have the entire half of the map zeroed in on your location because you stepped on a fucking rock wrong. and when you see enemies, you're going to want to mark them: this works half the time, and every mis-click or mis-mark will... get rid of the ones you actually got successfully marked. yeah, you'll want a sniper, and don't even try doing this shit through a fucking window for whatever reason.
but you'll keep fucking pushing through it, and not just because it's fun... you want to know what's going down with the fucking story. also, the fucking story sucks. deathloop features a cast of just 9 fucking characters and every single one of them fucking sucks. dialogue is fucking wretched. these characters fucking talk like they're trying to out-quip or out-annoy each fucking other, and the personalities themselves of the fucking targets could not be any fucking duller. i'm having a tough time caring about the fucking drugged out painter who slurs words or the fucking party owner who sounds like a prissy yuppie, and it's a fucking shame because it could be so much fucking cooler than it fucking is. also, i wish they fucking swore more if i'm fucking honest because i love when characters fucking swear over and over and over and fucking over and fucking over and fucking over like they're a fucking sixth grader let fucking loose onto the fucking internet with un-fucking-supervised fucking access. goddamn.
sorry had to get that out of my system--the dialogue really is wretched and the ending, in classic arkane fashion, won't deliver on anything either because of course it won't, it's a classic arkane game. these fools know how to create masterclasses in game design and generate incredible intrigue in their narratives only to fumble the fucking ball legitimately every single time. with how fast and done these games' endings always are, arkane's next project may as well have the player just walk up to a button that says "PRESS HERE TO END GAMEPLAY AND ROLL CREDITS".
and while all that's unfortunate on the writing end, it's not something i expect out of an arkane experience: i look for damned good imsim shenanigans and gameplay that rewards planning and experimentation. deathloop is damned good imsim shenanigans, and deathloop is gameplay that rewards planning, experimentation, trial and error and successes and failures and wins and losses and personal, weighty progress. it's not about the destination even if that certainly docks it a few points: deathloop is about tools and rules, and how you break them from loop to loop to loop. and it's damned fun. or fucking fun. fuck.
what a horrible piece of shit. you can apply all the resolution tweaks and game altering mods all you want--you're still bandaging a rough corpse of a video game, a shallow followup to some of stealth's finest. basic movement is fucked, every single action is clunky and awkward, guard AI interaction is ridiculous, and the simplified level design leaves an ugly taste in my mouth. a game not even worth finishing its first level.
"if you can't slam with the best, jam with the rest"
there's a million words i could write about the million b-balls dribbled dunked and slam jammed throughout the brief 4-6 hour adventure of barkley and his crew of basketball renegades but the simplest i can write is this: if you have an absurd concept, you need to see it through. riding off the name alone a la kanye quest is a surefire way to make an ass of your lazy self. barkley, shut up and jam: gaiden goes all the way, and it does so with a level of ambition in its writing that shines past its asset rips, and does so with gameplay where diabetes is a status effect, and does so with humor so deadly funny, barkley's practically a litmus test for weeding out those who have a charred black heart and those who don't.
in a world where great stories are a rarity, barkley gaiden will stand the test of time. because they went all the way.
all the way.
there's a million words i could write about the million b-balls dribbled dunked and slam jammed throughout the brief 4-6 hour adventure of barkley and his crew of basketball renegades but the simplest i can write is this: if you have an absurd concept, you need to see it through. riding off the name alone a la kanye quest is a surefire way to make an ass of your lazy self. barkley, shut up and jam: gaiden goes all the way, and it does so with a level of ambition in its writing that shines past its asset rips, and does so with gameplay where diabetes is a status effect, and does so with humor so deadly funny, barkley's practically a litmus test for weeding out those who have a charred black heart and those who don't.
in a world where great stories are a rarity, barkley gaiden will stand the test of time. because they went all the way.
all the way.
2019
little game--big thoughts, though! i really like witcheye, this reworking of kirby's skeleton to create something more challenging and addictive (in short bursts). instead of both copying abilities and floating around, you're the latter except weaponized, and obstacles lie in navigating stage hazards detrimental to floaters like you and enemies who vary in ways to defeat. all of this is wrapped up in a package of absolutely gorgeous pixel art and a heaping of sickeningly sweet 16 bit groove (so much midi bass).
it's pretty fun to figure out how to defeat new enemies as they appear, soon mastering the ability to just wipe 'em out the moment they appear on screen, your forward momentum undeterred. sometimes it can feel very sloppy and you'll somehow effortlessly glide through a level despite not really knowing what's happening, but you learn. a particular highlight is the kirby styled locked miniboss fights, many really inventive. there's also this whole deal about collecting gems, but it's honestly horseshit: many, many times a gem will clip through the ground and disappear, and i'm having fun, sure, but i'm really not that interested to replay a level just to grab more bing bing jewels.
you know, probably the worst and weirdest thing about this game is the design of the main character and her alter eye ego. exceptionally bland: why? all of the enemies are charming even if many are reskinned waddle dees and gordos. the bosses are pretty cool, too... so why does the main character look so nothing? her name's mabel syrup but how could you even know that when all she sports is a dumb purple frock and matching hairbun? and the eye is just... an eye. i'd really like to draw some fanart for witcheye, but good lord it won't be the main character.
0 Comm
it's pretty fun to figure out how to defeat new enemies as they appear, soon mastering the ability to just wipe 'em out the moment they appear on screen, your forward momentum undeterred. sometimes it can feel very sloppy and you'll somehow effortlessly glide through a level despite not really knowing what's happening, but you learn. a particular highlight is the kirby styled locked miniboss fights, many really inventive. there's also this whole deal about collecting gems, but it's honestly horseshit: many, many times a gem will clip through the ground and disappear, and i'm having fun, sure, but i'm really not that interested to replay a level just to grab more bing bing jewels.
you know, probably the worst and weirdest thing about this game is the design of the main character and her alter eye ego. exceptionally bland: why? all of the enemies are charming even if many are reskinned waddle dees and gordos. the bosses are pretty cool, too... so why does the main character look so nothing? her name's mabel syrup but how could you even know that when all she sports is a dumb purple frock and matching hairbun? and the eye is just... an eye. i'd really like to draw some fanart for witcheye, but good lord it won't be the main character.
0 Comm
2011
there definitely exists an ambient difference between portal and its sequel: while the first game demonstrated pitch black humor set against a haunting, sterile environment, portal 2 feels considerably lighter hearted and goofy--even feel good, for some reason? this approach no doubt helped jettison the game into absurd popularity and success, and i don't blame valve either for not wishing to retread the same ground twice but, regardless, it's just not quite as enjoyable to physically be in aperture science this time around.
of course the writing is hilarious, sure, and absolutely memorable, but it's also kind of... well, let's just call it the best written marvel movie.
gameplay's also running on the whole "let's not retread the same ground twice" design philosophy as well, with less emphasis on physically going in and out portals and more on using said portals to manipulate other things to go in and out, and around and throughout and etc etc. i don't think it was a bad idea to do this, but it's funny that the levels are designed to such a point that their testers literally forgot they could even just walk through the damn portals, as one developer commentary node recalls. so in a sense, there's a bit less... magic to the whole ingenious simplicity of portal's concept overall. but hey, it's also really, really cool to play around with the varying gels and light bridges and cubes with turret limbs sticking out.
i think my favorite aspect of portal 2 is the sound and music design, where seemingly every object and "tool" emits some wavelength of noise, and many manipulate their sounds in response to player actions and proximity. the gentle humming of the lasers, the bouncy synths of the bouncy gel, the underwater obfuscation of the... uh... blue wind tunnel things--it's all really mesmerizing. the technical side is cool, too, their approach to rooms next to rooms that don't actually exist next to each other (another node explains further), and the gel physics are cool as hell. yeah, a lot of the game is cool as hell.
oh, there's also that whole cooperative aspect. i've played through it a dozen times with a dozen different people at this point and, yet, it's still just REALLY fun to experience with others, especially when you're playing with newcomers to the whole experience. hell, i'll probably be playing this game for another decade just to tag along with those who have somehow lived under a moonrock all this time.
so yeah. portal 1's short, sweet, and perfect. portal 2's much longer and has some sacrifices made with an overall different design philosophy, but it's pretty damn sweet too.
of course the writing is hilarious, sure, and absolutely memorable, but it's also kind of... well, let's just call it the best written marvel movie.
gameplay's also running on the whole "let's not retread the same ground twice" design philosophy as well, with less emphasis on physically going in and out portals and more on using said portals to manipulate other things to go in and out, and around and throughout and etc etc. i don't think it was a bad idea to do this, but it's funny that the levels are designed to such a point that their testers literally forgot they could even just walk through the damn portals, as one developer commentary node recalls. so in a sense, there's a bit less... magic to the whole ingenious simplicity of portal's concept overall. but hey, it's also really, really cool to play around with the varying gels and light bridges and cubes with turret limbs sticking out.
i think my favorite aspect of portal 2 is the sound and music design, where seemingly every object and "tool" emits some wavelength of noise, and many manipulate their sounds in response to player actions and proximity. the gentle humming of the lasers, the bouncy synths of the bouncy gel, the underwater obfuscation of the... uh... blue wind tunnel things--it's all really mesmerizing. the technical side is cool, too, their approach to rooms next to rooms that don't actually exist next to each other (another node explains further), and the gel physics are cool as hell. yeah, a lot of the game is cool as hell.
oh, there's also that whole cooperative aspect. i've played through it a dozen times with a dozen different people at this point and, yet, it's still just REALLY fun to experience with others, especially when you're playing with newcomers to the whole experience. hell, i'll probably be playing this game for another decade just to tag along with those who have somehow lived under a moonrock all this time.
so yeah. portal 1's short, sweet, and perfect. portal 2's much longer and has some sacrifices made with an overall different design philosophy, but it's pretty damn sweet too.
2021
considering toree 3d is the product of a gamejam grind.. it shows, for better or for worse. the visuals are charming, the sound design is funny (i swear, that's the animal crossing cursor noise every time toree hops), and gameplay's serviceable. not really interesting, and you have to fight it occasionally, but serviceable. the gamejam's theme revolved around having the disc be haunted, and that shows, too, for better or for worse. i offer the former because it's genuinely interesting and even unnerving at times, leading to a few surprising moments, but i offer the latter as well because it doesn't really amount to any sort of payoff nor is it completely thought out--the unlockable bonus character sort of displays that last bit. and that's kind of a shame
still a cute experience. you could spend your dollar worse.
still a cute experience. you could spend your dollar worse.
2019
the soundtrack is just awful, and i say that as a big fan of electronica. it's all not even skrillex's sloppy seconds--sloppy thirds? even if the music were good, gameplay's not really anything very interesting and i don't feel hooked even though i love a good rhythm game. you can download custom maps, and sometimes those are really fun, but most aren't for music i actually like unless you really enjoy meme landfill, and when they are, they're designed by someone who's insanely good at the game and doesn't feel the need to make a difficulty any lower than expert.
pistol whip runs circles around this game is how i'm going to leave this.
pistol whip runs circles around this game is how i'm going to leave this.
2000
jesus christ how did i end the game with 0 emeralds and 0 coins
2021
stride is incredibly promising, and i think it can shape up to be a VR essential. it is, however, not quite there--and the distance across that gap is much further than a simple in-game leap.
here's the good: stride is a great concept. run, climb, and dash around like crazy in a concrete jungle theme park while occasionally drawing a gun to clumsily shoot at (and miss) enemies with tighter aim than you. climbing feels cool, sliding under things feels cool, wall running feels cool--these elements of stride's parkour are fantastic. its biggest issue, however, is momentum and, further, how the game philosophy fights itself. when you come up to an obstacle, you hoist yourself up over it with your two grips, and it feels natural. climbing from one structure to another feels natural. ducking your head feels natural. however, jumping is done with not just a waving of your hands upwards, but an A press. this is [b]unnatural[/b], and it really sucks. it's something you have to constantly remind yourself to do in one particular, repeating scenario: when you hoist yourself up onto something, you rise with such speed that you naturally "push" yourself off of it to then grab the next obstacle. this feels NATURAL. but momentum doesn't work like that and, instead, you're just going to clumsily fall to your death. you have to press that stupid A button--the most unnatural deal there.
one thing i haven't mentioned yet about the gameplay loop is the grappling hook. honestly, it's the best part of the game and the single most fun game mechanic here, and it kind of makes you wish you were just playing something based around specifically [i]that.[/i] maybe one day.
the other major issue i have with stride is its arcade style three-lives-and-you're-out. oh, it sucks. all this does is kill any momentum and fun you're having. can't express enough how many times i've been gleefully traveling all over the city snatching briefcases and zipping across grapples and--oh, i took two stray shots and missed a jump that looked absolutely do-able. now the game's over. wow, fun!
i'm harsh with my words here because i do genuinely think stride could end up becoming something amazing, and i'm certainly down to revisit it again in the future--but it needs a lot more work, and i wouldn't recommend buying it just yet.
here's the good: stride is a great concept. run, climb, and dash around like crazy in a concrete jungle theme park while occasionally drawing a gun to clumsily shoot at (and miss) enemies with tighter aim than you. climbing feels cool, sliding under things feels cool, wall running feels cool--these elements of stride's parkour are fantastic. its biggest issue, however, is momentum and, further, how the game philosophy fights itself. when you come up to an obstacle, you hoist yourself up over it with your two grips, and it feels natural. climbing from one structure to another feels natural. ducking your head feels natural. however, jumping is done with not just a waving of your hands upwards, but an A press. this is [b]unnatural[/b], and it really sucks. it's something you have to constantly remind yourself to do in one particular, repeating scenario: when you hoist yourself up onto something, you rise with such speed that you naturally "push" yourself off of it to then grab the next obstacle. this feels NATURAL. but momentum doesn't work like that and, instead, you're just going to clumsily fall to your death. you have to press that stupid A button--the most unnatural deal there.
one thing i haven't mentioned yet about the gameplay loop is the grappling hook. honestly, it's the best part of the game and the single most fun game mechanic here, and it kind of makes you wish you were just playing something based around specifically [i]that.[/i] maybe one day.
the other major issue i have with stride is its arcade style three-lives-and-you're-out. oh, it sucks. all this does is kill any momentum and fun you're having. can't express enough how many times i've been gleefully traveling all over the city snatching briefcases and zipping across grapples and--oh, i took two stray shots and missed a jump that looked absolutely do-able. now the game's over. wow, fun!
i'm harsh with my words here because i do genuinely think stride could end up becoming something amazing, and i'm certainly down to revisit it again in the future--but it needs a lot more work, and i wouldn't recommend buying it just yet.
1993
kirby's adorable and so is much, much, much of the game's art and design. it's jaw dropping, even, how much this company squeezed out of the nes to produce many of the intricate texture tricks on screen. it also explains why it runs like shit, kirby lagging behind and getting his little pink ass beaten over and over by circumstances well out of your control. but it's also a very simple, easy game, so it's really no spilled milk to take a few cuts. you'll finish the game before you know it, and it'll have been a pleasant little journey.