I'm tired.

Let's play armchair game designer, because lord knows we don't have enough of them on here.

Before you can run, you must walk, and boy does Nathan Graves enjoy walking. Nathan just adores going on a stroll in Camilla's castle while his master's getting his toenails ripped off in preparation for being slaughtered in a satanic ritual. Mr. Graves wouldn't know how to run even if I slapped his dump truck ass with the world's most painful block of wood. It's a godsend that Camilla's basement houses the very shoes he needs to be able to find the joys of exercise again after he forgot how to sprint when Count Dankula played his Trap Hole card in the introduction scene. One must wonder how long it would've taken if Drac's minions didn't make such a fuck up as to leave shoes for Mr. Graves to wear for his aching strolling feet. Even with these shoes Nathan only knows how to barrel forward with wanton disregard for his own being. Alucard had it figured out already, just run with care. That's all you gotta do. For Nathan though? Only two speeds exist. Tortoise, and drunken hare riding on a Kawasaki Ninja.

The input for running in this game is bad enough with requiring me to dash dance on the dpad and kill my thumbs, but Nathan's whip attack is noticeably sluggish compared to past Classicvania outings. It may not be noticeable at first, but try ducking and whipping and go back to playing as Simon in any of the past games and you'll definitely feel it. Nathan can jump like a stiff pong paddle and can even wall jump, and trust me I'm proud of him for being able to do so, but he should stick to his day job. Wall jumping in this is automated for at least two seconds as Nathan pauses on the wall and propels himself into the direction of enemy fire that sends him careening back down the pit that he was trying to make his way up from. You will encounter this scenario a lot, I assure you, especially with Circle of the Moon's obsession with slap dashing Armor enemies everywhere with annoying attacks that can bop you from the other side of the screen. No joke, I had a moment where I thought I was hitting an Ice Armor enemy in the underground waterway safely, only to get a very pleasant surprise in the form of another spear flying from off screen and stabbing me through the adam's apple thanks to the second Ice Armor that was behind him.

The primary system is collecting some shitty Yu-Gi-Oh cards and playing Blackjack with yourself to combine two of them and give yourself some form of power up, which could range from boring effects like your whip getting an elemental bonus, or actual cool shit like turning into a bone-throwing skeleton that dies in one hit. Unfortunately, the card for turning into a glass jawed skeleton is about 95% into the game and requires killing a very specific candle enemy that requires backtracking to a who-gives-a-shit area, and kindly asking it to drop the damn card sometime this week. This is where I get to bitch about the worst part of Circle of the Moon besides Nathan's completely useless movement, and it's the outrageous drop rates. That card that I'd need for the aforementioned skeleton transformation? The drop rate is zero point four fuckin' percent. That doesn't just effect the cards either. Health items? What are those?!

Seriously, I went for hours playing this game and didn't think healing was even a thing in Circle of the Moon besides the absurdly paltry potions that give a measly 20 hit points back, or getting to one of the sparse save points that fully heals you. Hell, you don't even get healed after boss fights. I beat probably six bosses before a piece of meat suddenly dropped from an enemy, where I double-taked and went back just to stare at it for a while. There is not a shop to speak of either, shopkeepers aren't welcome in Circle of the Moon. No buyable health items for you to help with the horrendous onslaught of tedium, but you can go ahead and enjoy all those completely useless armors you get to lug around on your person. Sure is a hard game we got here, would be nice if I could have some items, but Dracula is against formal goods trading.

Circle of the Moon is about inconvenience. It inconveniences you with movement that isn't convenient for the challenge that is set up for you as it would be for past entries. The only way to make your pathetic movement less inconvenient is to find cards inconveniently hidden away in an unknown enemy's back pocket that could potentially make certain encounters flat out trivial, like the normally problematic ice element in the underground waterway, or Dracula's nigh-impossible to dodge meteor attack in the final battle. It's all an inconvenient excuse to grind if you lack information, which this game inconveniently gives you none assuming you're not playing the Advance Collection version, which was the only convenient bit from my experience. Thanks M2.

It took me about three months to finish the save file I started on the Advance Collection a ways back after I completed Harmony of Dissonance and it's toilet noises, and it's mindbogglingly to me to realize that it was around last Christmas that I replayed and finished Aria of Sorrow again on the same collection. It wasn't necessarily a skill issue, it was a thumb issue from the horrendous dash input, and my complete apathy to this game's entire philosophy of wanting to train me on it's solitaire system only for the battle arena to give me the middle finger, and take that same system away in the ultimate show of disrespectful inconvenience. It was optional, sure, but it's existence is more than enough to make me want to transition into a volcanic state. It was even more aggravating to find out that Konami apparently bumped the experience requirements up for the western releases, thus demanding me to update the list for all the times they fucked us in the ass. I needed a lot of Picross breaks, and apparently a detour to that Peach game I didn't care about.

It kinda goes without saying, but the thought of replaying this on original hardware with the bad GBA screen, no suspend save, or in-game overlay hints of what enemies are carrying cards is less appealing to me than taking an epilator to my ballsack. I'll give it a pity star for Dracula's final boss design, I guess. I guess.

Thus concludes armchair game designer session, if you enjoyed what you've read, please like, comment, subscribe, ring the dingaling, and maybe sing me a nice song.

I'm going to bed now. Goodnight.

hoooooonkmimimimimi.

+Nathan Graves dump truck ass
+Rakugakids reference
+Yo Camilla call me
+Proof of Blood

-Nathan Graves dump truck ass
-Sinking Old Sanctuary?! More like Stinking Old Sanctuary!
-Why is my hair not as nice as Hugh's
-Where's my burrito

Not 5/5 as in flawless masterpiece, but 5/5 as in they made this game for me, personally.

With a parry system strongly reminiscent of Sekiro's (a game which has a combat system I adore) but a splash of Bloodborne's Rally system retooled to not suck absolute ass (fight me) and all this wrapped up in Dark Souls 1-esque level design except it doesn't shit the bed halfway through? Absolute chef's kiss.

So, you can block in this game, in fact (almost) everything except grabs are blockable, but a portion of your health is lost as chip damage, except you can recover that chip through attacking the enemy. How does this improve Bloodborne's Rally system? Simple, when a boss does a million fuckin attacks in 3 seconds if you have the stamina to block it all then ALL THE CHIP YOU TOOK is stored and can be healed, unlike in Bloodborne where only the last hit is healable (fuck you Ludwig). If you time your blocks well you get a parry, which causes no chip, builds up an invisible "Posture" bar (it works kinda like Elden Ring) so to speak, and if you parry enough YOU CAN EVEN BREAK THEIR WEAPON I CANNOT STRESS HOW FUCKING COOL THIS IS!!! When the boss has taken enough "Posture" damage a fully charged R2 will open then up to a Fatal Attack (Elden Ring Critical Hit). This ensures R2 attacks will always have a place in combat, which is something every Souls game has struggled with.

Bosses, mercifully leave enough time for a fully charged R2 if you know when to go for it, Lies of P maintains a great level of boss difficulty that really made me feel like I was playing Dark Souls 1 again, stuck on Taurus Demon all over. Thankfully, Lies of P does not take lessons from Elden Ring's "make them read every input and just spam a million attacks" school of thought, instead bosses are slow, methodical, baiting you to attack them at the wrong time in a way that ALWAYS feel like YOU (I) fucked up.

Yet, in opposition to these slow, methodical bosses, the game really wants you to keep hitting them, a portion of your damage is dealt as chip, and if you don't hit them they WILL heal that chip back, and if you run out of heals you can generate more by landing hits. In Lies of P, patience may be key but hesitation is (still) defeat. I was originally skeptical of the heal regeneration, but it's so hard to generate more than one extra heal, and frankly, it was more often I generated an extra heal during exploration than during a boss fight. When I did generate a heal during a boss that I desperately needed however, the tension really hits.

Lies of P additionally has many ways to modulate your difficulty, between AI summons, Fable Arts, the Wishstone, and infinite respecs, this feels like the conclusion to the idea that you can adjust the difficulty of a Souls game via the mechanics you interact with. Most of this is mandatory, and what isn't is found with just a little exploring. Lies of P may be the most accessible Souls-like thus far, without eventually making these mechanics feel necessary to progression, which just ultimately defeats the point (looking at you, Elden Ring Spirit Ash).

One of the most common criticisms of the game is that it's perhaps too inspired by Souls-likes, namely Bloodborne, and I couldn't disagree more, what is taken from Souls games are often retooled and reworked in an exploration of the mechanics, not a simple copy paste. Not to mention Lies of P brings its own new mechanics to the table in the form of the separation of weapon blade and hilt, you can put a damn dagger blade on a greatsword handle if you so please. Although, I must admit, this concept was not explored nearly as much as it deserved, it is still inspired game design regardless Also the aforementioned breaking enemy weapons this is still the coolest shit ever I do not care how underdeveloped the weapon creation mechanics are because breaking a boss's weapon is REALLY FUCKING COOL DUDE I'M SO SERIOUS!!!

But I mean, I understand that I can't convince anyone to agree that this is the best Souls-like, and I'm okay with that. I just fell in love with the entire game, the music, the characters, the stories, the gameplay, it all spoke to me in a way I can't write or articulate. I'm not kidding when I say I feel like this game was made for me, this shit really spoke to me, and at times I felt like I could speak back, I feel seen. Fuck.

Please don't let Round8 Studio be a one hit wonder, please let the DLC and whatever they make next be as successful as this, please do not let their next game be another Bless Unleashed I am BEGGING.

In a few Discord servers, I've stated, usually in very chide one-off statements, that this game sucks. I've never actually spent time elaborating why it sucks, and I realize that just saying it does doesn't really help any conversation whatsoever, or really have anything new to put forth.

Because, to be honest, to say this game is all bad is missing the mark just as much as saying “anime is for weebs”... which is largely true but still missing some information that could point a different direction..

So what is DDLC? It’s a very, very short VN that lampshades what happens in most VNs, where you meet a handful of characters and deal/handle their personal issues, except without a lot to say about it. It uses its runtime to poke fun at the laughable traits of the worst of VNs while then proceeding to put some valid criticism of unconditional attachment, while peppering its runtime with enough shock value to make streamers freak the fuck out and thus become a touchstone of Twitch culture with its reaction and memes such as “just Monika”. I highly doubt that all of that was intentional, but the impact can’t be disregarded, because it did become a part of online video game culture as a whole… for better or for worse.

There is something I need to outline. While I agree usually that a game should not be based on its toxic fanbase, DDLC is so big that it’s tough to ignore. It is extremely hard to detach the community and fanbase as a whole from the game. We can agree to disagree from there.

Let’s be clear, the shock value fucking works for one key moment. I am a wimp and autistic and find very emotional attachment to video games that is borderline unhealthy, and thus the very infamous first shock rolled me over like a lawnmower and I still have nightmares thinking about it. If there’s one thing to give credit to DDLC, it is that it’s very unpredictable, although at the expense of pacing or having a good kind of shock value past the first moment.

Everything else is very standard and frustrating to go through, particularly a moment where you have to “auto-skip” for a moment that abuses its time to the fullest extent. I don’t care if it’s not supposed to be fun, it’s nauseating. It doesn’t have anything to gain for its inclusion OTHER than shocking the player and to hammer harder how messed up Monika is, which would have benefitted from a tighter pace. Subversion, especially when it’s creatively done like DDLC, is fine, but its pace and execution despite its concept hampers this to an extreme.

DDLC’s good, however, comes in two things: a general and well done understanding of depression and the pain it causes through its first introductory character arc, and the danger and toxicity of parasocial relationships represented via Monika’s rampant fascination with the player. The latter unfortunately…. is not even knee deep. It does not deconstruct how it comes to exist but rather comments on its existence, which is fine but doesn’t leave a lot to take away.

So what anecdotal interactions poison the game for me? It is that it has massively poisoned talking about VNs and the Western reaction to VNs as a whole. The game is definitely pointing at a very particular subgenre of VNs, but its popularity has created a vacuum of using the game as a point to how “all VNs are bad” and how ridiculous the genre is. Yes, people can sometimes be dumb and stupid, as can I, but I’ve seen it happen EVERYWHERE.

I’m not an expert on VNs (in fact I’ve only started recently to delve into the genre with games like Umineko, The Silver Case, and Nekojishi), but it’s insane how much DDLC has colored VN’s image that the games themselves have been not at all what’s expected. I don’t even… know of any game DDLC is really pointing out here. In the end, it feels like it has a blanket “VNs bad” side to its conversation around the medium where the tropes it is subverting in its runtime a mainstay more for anime as a whole rather than VN dating sims instead. Am I missing something? Maybe I need to play more VNs.

Trust me, it’s not that there aren't bad VNs. I can go to fucking TOWN on Nekojishi for its disgusting moments with its true ending and in the end having zero to take away from other than… the tiger guys are adorable.

The biggest struggle comes from where, when I enjoy a VN (or when other big friends of mine do), it’s tough to recommend, because the image that DDLC has created in popular culture casts a big enough web to catch SUVs. There are other barriers to entry such as price and it not being as “video game” as other genres, but this to me has been the biggest barrier now.

My hope is to understand where I come from now when I say “Fuck DDLC”. It’s partly the game but way more because of the culture that surrounds it.

At least it’s free.

As a concept, I really do like this gameplay style. It's fairly well directed, looked solid for the time, and the use of QTEs is honestly not too bad considering that this is essentially an evolution of classic adventure-style games.

However, this feels like less of a solid game and more of a first draft prototype for this style of gameplay. The characters are mostly pretty dry, with shonky voice acting consisting of barely-masked accents. The story itself also just feels like an excuse to set up multiple setpieces to show off the tech - they're enjoyable, but don't do much for the narrative. The actual mystery tying the story together is pretty much the only engaging thing, and the payoff is less than ideal.

It's not terrible, but it's really not great either (and that's not to speak of it's more problematic elements, but those are largely rooted in subtext surrounding how terrible David Cage is as a person). Still, the jank can raise a few good laughs, and it's worth at least one playthrough - then just watch the other endings on Youtube.

sucker for love: ★★★
to the end of days: ★
the toy shop: DNF
charlotte's exile: ★★★★
diving bell: ★★★★
squirrel stapler: ★★★
touched by an outer god: ★★★★★
solipsis: ★★★★★
arcadletra: ★
another late night: ★★
undiscovered: ★★★
the thing in the lake: DNF

definitely stronger contenders this time around, and what i did enjoy i absolutely loved. the "launcher" has received a massive facelift and was a large part of my enjoyment, being less of a menu and more of a 3d playground of puzzles to progress through more of the entries. there's some regular suspects regarding the work of returning developers though i feel a bit less jaded about these experiences enough to talk about a few of them.

sucker for love - surprisingly enjoyed for someone adverse to parody visual novels as the vehicle remains an ironic whipping boy. the interactivity really carries the experience and the scares are pretty effective. i loved the artwork and ending cgs as well, i wouldn't be opposed to trying to full launch titles of this one.

to the end of days - it's weird, because i know scythe dev team are capable of some interesting and decent work seen in the northbury grove arc particularly, but their entries for this anthology series thus far have been the most gruelling and unsatisfying gaming experiences i've had in a long while. imagine my reaction when giving this team another chance and after fumbling through a level using the slowest shotgun with hitscan opponents, i'm faced with the return of carthanc's screeching enemies which made me hate it so much. it felt like a bad joke.

charlotte's exile - this created quite the vibe! the static position of the player and the limited perspectives afforded to them makes the approaching entity really terrifying. you can't get too engrossed in your work though it's satisfying to complete.

diving bell - ohhh i love cabin fever/isolation horror, especially when it derives from a place of sanity-consuming guilt. the repetition to the tasks tanked this a little but the writing of the dialogue and atmosphere were awesome genuinely.

squirrel stapler - david did it again here but the quality of presentation and horror factor are overshadowed by the length. a really disquieting experience that unfortunately drags its feet, loved the ending sequence and a minor scare which can occur on one of the last days.

touched by an outer god - i wanted a full length game out of this more than any previous title. absolutely adore the transformation themes and the way they alter how you play, i ran through this one a few times just because it was so fun.

solipsis - simple but effective, it felt a little like i was playing darkwood. not at all surprised to find this was the pony island and inscryption dev (which i do want to replay/give another chance). the FMV elements were awesome.

this second entry has definitely invigorated interest in the series, hope i can afford to play the others soon.

the pay is nice: ★
carthanc: ★
don't go out: ★★
shatter: ★★★★
hand of doom: ★★★
the pony factory: ★★★
summer night: ★★★★★
rotgut: ★
outsiders: DNF
mr. bucket told me to: DNF

this is really rough. carthanc and rotgut technically get a score of 0 from me personally, not really worth it for the few good entries.

Tekken is a game about decades long family feud so here’s my story of Tekken-related patricide.

When I turned 6 my dad decided to gift me a Playstation 1. We weren’t rich so we bought it second hand. He found some guy willing to sell his console and we visited him together to make sure it works. I remember his room being cluttered and messy. I also remember the game he showed us first. It was Tekken 3. It blew our minds. Never have we seen 3D graphics that looked so detailed, so animated, so lively. Coming straight from shitty famicom clones it looked unbelievable. My excitement about graphics peaked right there and I’m still trying to catch that high. That dude sold us his stack of discs as well (I also remember a shitty Mission Impossible game), but really we only cared about the “game with brawls”. When we got back we played Tekken 3 all night long. That was maybe the most memorable day of my childhood.

Years passed and I “grew out” of PS1. I didn’t have a PS2 or PS3, I got into PC gaming instead, so the rest of the Tekken series passed near me. I played some T5 on friends’ PSPs (I even showed them how to do cool Law kickflips that still worked exactly how I remembered) but otherwise it wasn’t something I was particularly interested in anymore. I’m into “smart” games now, not those meathead fightings.

But my dad, it turns out, never stopped caring. Now living a pretty prosperous life he bought his new son a PS3 (we stopped living together by then) with, you guessed it, Tekken 6. And this time it was a deliberate ploy for him to REALLY get invested in fighting. He started maining Hwoarang, actually learning his moves, trying out online. I remember my lil bro’s excitement when T7 got announced for PS4 because he knew dad would WANT to play that one, so yet another birthday Playstation was imminent. In T7 he got addicted to ranked play so he got really good. The meme about 40yo old dudes playing Kazuyas perfectly wavedashing and putting you in nasty mixup is real, except it’s my dad, he’s 50 now and he’s Hwoarang.

And of course whenever I’d visit Dad's side of the family he’d invite me to play Tekken for old time’s sake. And since he got so good it’s gotten pretty miserable. I played a bit of T7 as well since it was on PC, but never on the level that invited understanding, just mashing here and there with friends. Of course it wasn’t enough against Dad’s Hwo. And whenever he’d perfect K.O my ass he’d laugh straight in my face. Look at the gamer son who can’t play fighting games! I very much gave up on reaching his level, I just accepted my beatings at occasional family gatherings.

That is until Tekken 8.

Something clicked with me in this game. Maybe it’s fantastic learning tools, maybe it’s yet again great graphics, maybe it’s Jun Kazama being an amazingly fun character, but it got its hooks deep in me. Now I know how to apply pressure, how to put an enemy in a mixup state. I understand the concept of taking turns, the difference between crush and evade, when to use my 13i and 10i punishes. I know my character’s moves and available tools. I’m actually learning.

My Dad of course also hopped on T8. He bought an entire new laptop for the game, justifying it as a working expense! And yesterday we finally got to play some sets.

These were my most nailbiting T8 matches so far. Turns out Dad doesn’t like it when I’m ducking his highs. He also can’t do much when it’s me who’s putting the pressure and forces the mixups. I put everything into this… and finally got him. We went 4-3. I defeated my Dad. I truly am the son of the Mishima family.

I'm gonna play this game so much my 9 month old baby is gonna think Bryan Fury is his uncle.

Review Chapter 1:
Baldy's Basics

Yes, I play as Bryan (and I am NOT good at taunt cancelling yet) but you play as Reina so stfu. I do have some legacy skill since I've played Bryan before; he really became my guy when his beautiful bald head graced the voice-synthesized schoolyards of Tekken Tag Tournament. But I'm only here writing because I just went on a truly legendary losing-streak, dwarfed only by that time I lost one trillion SF6 player matches in a row against (fellow-backloggder) Maradona.

I beat both campaigns of Tekken 8 (The Dark Awakens and Arcade Quest) two days ago, and I meant to review it then but I've been so busy getting demolished in ranked matches to remember. Okay and taking care of a baby. Conbaby plays Eddie Gordo so 1. Scrub 2. Has to wait for the DLC.

Review Chapter 2:
Devil Inside, the Devil Inside, Every Single One of Us, The Devil Inside

The Dark Awakens is one of the best fighting game campaigns ever. Mostly focusing on formerly-likable character Jin Kazama trying to forget about the story of Tekken 6. He's just like me fr. Tekken 8 goes the balls-to-the-wall anime approach, and as someone who has been playing these games casually since I was a wee babe, it's hype.

The dialogue is certainly expressive, with characters yelling or gruffly whispering platitudes non-stop, but it manages to ride that line between corny and cool quite well. No spoilers, but there's also more gameplay variety than I expected. The overall Jin focus keeps everything from going off the rails (in terms of story cohesion) and there are plenty of major moments with the rest of the cast. Most of them. The one big Netherrealm style plot convenience was Azucena's; they came up with a fun coffee heiress character but had no idea how to get her into the story.

Review Chapter 3:
Pokkén Tournament

Arcade Quest is a way stripped-down version of SF6 world tour, serving as a tutorial for the basics of Tekken. The plot is straightforward and the dialogue is skippable. It's an inoffensive little mode if not for the fact that you play as those ugly Xbox Live Mii knockoffs, but there’s an online lobby where you chat and run around. It’s kinda fun.

Review Chapter 4:
The AI Version of Myself is Better than Me at Tekken

The practice stuff in this game is crazy; I thought Street Fighter 6's training was bananas, but this is next-level. Aside from the normal suite of training-mode options, you can train an AI of yourself (or any other player) to fight against, and you can pause any of your replays and drop into it (as either fighter) to see what you (or your opponent) could have done better. The amount of options new and old are almost overwhelming, but you're gonna need to utilize at least some of them to get anywhere online.

Review Chapter 5:
Reina and Kazuya

As for the multiplayer, it's great. The netcode is way better than Tekken 7's- still not to SF6 levels but much appreciated. I haven't had any issues, but I do use a wired connection so your mileage may vary.

Playing Tekken online is like getting beaten-up in real life. "I almost had her." Reina and Kazuya seem like the Kens or Scorpions of this game right now, at least in the lower ranks. More Victors as I’ve gone higher. I've played a couple hundred matches and have not fought a single Raven, Lars, Lee, Jun, or Bryan in Ranked (I don't know if it tries to filter out mirror matches.) I don't think Reina and Kaz are overpowered or anything, but they're obviously popular. It doesn't have a huge impact on the enjoyment, as it's good practice. I say practice but it's just me losing ranked matches.

One week post-launch edit: Reina, Victor, King, Dragunov. Kazuya has faded into obscurity.

Review Chapter 6:
I'm Dragging this out to 8 Chapters

I know we're not very far past release, and some of that excitement is sure to wear off, but the amount of fun I'm having is undeniable.

Review Chapter 7:
Sight & Sound

This game looks stunning. Tekken 7 probably looked good too but I wouldn't know because the Xbox version looked like beer goggles.

The music for Tekken 8 is fine, but you can put any Tekken song from any Tekken game on any stage, as well as the different menus. One major omission is "Black Winter Night Sky", the Tekken 2 console opening cutscene song. Where is it Harada? Why is it never included in anything? It's not on iTunes with the rest of the soundtracks, best they've got are stinky cover versions.

Review Chapter 8:
Tekken Ball

TEKKEN BALL BABY! WE'RE SO BACK! GON DLC WHEN?? TEKKEN BALLLLLLLLL!!!! PS TEKKEN BALLIN!!!! Tekken Ball Tekken Ball gonna go play some Tekken Ball to the beach music from Tekken 4

"Review Epilogue" DLC coming soon

I didn’t even know it was even possible to get combo-ed in Russian Roulette, but the Dragon Ball FighterZ shit the Dealer pulled on me proved VERY wrong. Seeing him with his crooked grin using the magnifying glass into cutting the shotgun’s barrel for the first time felt like being shot in real life.

Buckshot Roulette’s main story is pretty simple; on the first round you learn the most basic rules, and it’ll be the part where luck will have the easiest time to fuck you up, on the second you are given the items and the lenience and strategize with what they provide , and the third one is the final dance, in all the ways. Claim victory, and the bounty is yours, you’ll be done and free… But why not stay for another round?

The introduction of this nasty-ass setting is priceless, I for one love the rusty warehouse this is probably taking place in and bathrooms with the same amount of hygiene that those of my university, all while hearing the music of an unseen party at the very bottom, so far away yet so easy for its sounds to reach your ears. Then you immediately decide to point the gun to yourself, immediately get fucked, and from that moment onwards you know which type of game you are dealing with.

You don’t have much time on your hands, Buckshot Roulette knows very well that this particular little game of theirs can’t really go on for more than its worth, and so it makes the most out of its time. It takes a lil’ bit to take off, as I said the first round consists mostly on you, your ability to count a bit, the Dealer and the gun, so even tho our friend sitting by the table hasn’t entered insane mode yet, luck can really mess with you for a while and not letting you get into the real ‘’good stuff’’.

Die & Learning can only get you so far on here, with the introduction of items, it may not hit as much at the start how useful they just really are. Apart from the phone, which I found to be too unreliable and more of a waste of item slot than anything, every single drug or tool you can get your hands on works fine on their own, but together the options are insane. I only realized this after the Dealer made me wish I had smoked that cigarette, and from there on out is a tense, cathartic mind game, your opponent is not holding back anymore, and neither should you.

Perhaps I’m putting my heart through too much stress, but it’s worth for the rush that you feel in the final round, where it’s all or nothing, either after pulling off some insane-ass trick that works or when backed against the wall and without tricks, going for the gamble of the fucking century and it actually working, those moments are both hysterical and fulfilling as hell… tho… don-don’t go testing your luck unless you need it, i-it can go REAL wrong.

Winning that final bet on the first time and coming out alive on the double or nothing mode (and promptly getting the fuck out), that’s what’s fun, that’s what makes it worth, that’s what will make you keep coming back… true fun for all ages!

The core in here is excellent, it can really grab you beyond the normal mode and I’m really glad ‘’Double or Nothing’’ exists, but it still isn’t more than it is, a rush of adrenaline that lasts as long as it needs you, and welcomes you with open arms if you do decide to come back or stay for a little longer, and some of the achievements are a riot, so it also has that going for it!

When multiplayer gets released it’s gonna the funniest thing ever oh my god, if I already lost my shit wheezing against an AI opponent, with friends this is just gonna be straight up fucked up…

Welcome Back

I am Generation 1’s strongest soldier.

- Small limited inventory makes you actually consider every item you pick up and I think that’s neat. Putting this one at the start to filter anyone who can’t stand the idea of someone defending gen 1 inventory management. But if you actually go through and check what items you need and what ones you don’t every so often you won’t often cap out on bag space and you’ll probably make a good bit of money from all the vitamins and TMs and other random stuff you don’t really need. It’s just another aspect of preparation, and it makes sense for prep to be important when setting out on an adventure.

- The region layout is fun, there’s just enough freedom to let you poke around in places where you don’t really belong. It’s probably a bit awkward to navigate for someone getting into it for the first time, but on the other hand the lack of explicit guidance or scripted events benefit the sense of freedom - both in the literal exploration of the region (though it is a little more railroaded than I remember early on), and thematically in allowing it to feel like your own journey (something I find important in a Pokemon game, where the core mechanic of catching and teambuilding leans heavily into individuality).

- The region thematically is probably the most compelling. It’s incredibly ‘raw’ - putting its warts fully on display and having 10 year old kids freely wander around in it all. Future games have your protagonist take on moustache-twirling supervillains whose plans are varying degrees of nonsense, whereas Team Rocket acts and operates very much how Yakuza organisations might do (limited knowledge of this admittedly), with parallels to real life such as the Game Corner acting as both a front for their operations as well as mirroring the legal loopholes real-life pachinko parlours use to evade gambling laws (social commentary, in *my* Pokemon game??). There’s so many cute, weird and uncomfortable little details there to pick up on that sell the workings of the region, no matter how weird, with a joyful yet disarming honesty. (One of the less serious, more entertaining things I picked up on was that the Fighting Dojo lost its gym status because they got the shit kicked out of them by the Psychic gym which, like, yeah of course they did! It’s funny, but it’s also an interesting look into how the world actually functions.)

- The game has the purest and most unfiltered vision of a 'complete' Pokemon experience. Filling the dex is heavily encouraged/mandatory (you wouldn’t use a map for Rock Tunnel, would you…….), though admittedly not handled with the most elegance, and in-game trades are much more frequent than later games, as well as being more desirable - there’s a good few Pokemon that are otherwise unobtainable, and in Yellow in particular you can just get a Machamp from an in-game trade! Though exploration and battling are clearly at the forefront, it puts much more emphasis on these other elements of Pokemon that would end up being eroded away over time. (Admittedly features like the GTS and Wonder Trade help keep trading alive, though those two definitely have their own issues)

- Barren movesets and HMs come together in a really strange way. Moveslots have the least value out of any Pokemon game in most cases because most of your options just aren’t that good, so you’ll be sticking to your few good ones. This makes HMs easier than ever to slot onto your team! You can have a slot taken by Flash or Cut or even Dig or Teleport for the whole game and you probably won’t feel it all that much! Not to mention that half the mandatory HMs - Surf and Strength - are actually just really good moves (more than half if you’re not using Flash, but you WOULDN’T use a map for Rock Tunnel, WOULD you???).

- When Pikachu faints it makes the most horrifying blood-curdling scream that a GB could ever produce and I think that’s awesome

Sure there are more than enough valid criticisms of these games and I still can’t blame anyone for not liking them. Someone in the 8th gym used tackle on me. Tackle! Like I don’t mind the limited movesets that much but I think that’s a bit excessive. But I think they tend to get weirdly overhated nowadays and for reasons that don’t really make much sense? Either complaining about very specific quirks and glitches (‘The AI is so bad!!’, I yell, as I intentionally send out a poison type to make Lorelei’s Dewgong spam Rest), or comparing them to later entries when they are not those later entries (limited movesets being a big one, I won’t fight tooth and nail to defend them but they really don’t feel as bad as you’d expect coming from, like, Gen 4 onwards). And I think there’s a lot of value in these silly little games that’s easy to overlook.

I have a curse.

I got back into competitive Pokemon for a little stint back at the start of the year, the first time taking it semi-seriously since around 2015. Though I do enjoy the game, I'm not a huge competitive game person, and I like Pokemon chiefly for the Pokemon; what this means for competitive is that most of my fun comes from using Pokemon that are! Absolutely dogshit!

Behold, the instrument of my destruction. The team that, against all odds, allowed me the strongest ladder run I've ever had.

The scariest team you will ever see.

The curse.

--

SCOVILLAIN: The cornerstone of the team, and do not let my wording confuse you with that other Grass/Fire type - Scovillain is all you need. Its role as an attacker might seem obvious, but no villain is without its tricks - Rage Powder allows it to act as a clutch redirector, particularly for Farigiraf or Hydreigon, and Tera Fairy allows it to swallow an opposing Hydreigon's Draco with ease. (Tera Blast is a holdover from before we had OTS, and it wasn't even good then - should definitely be Wisp!)

HYDREIGON: Tera Fire Heat Waves were hard to avoid in Series 1, but become even more deadly backed by a Sun boost. Focus Energy might seem like a terrible waste of a moveslot -- if you're a fool! Not only does it allow you to ignore your own Draco drops, but guaranteed crits let you penetrate the unsinkable warship known as Dondozo. (Shame the team has no good way of giving it a free turn!)

TORKOAL: The anchor, bridging the path between the Sun and Trick Room modes. A very standard sweeper set, but push it out early to set up the sun if it allows Hydreigon or Scovillain to pick up an unexpected kill. Tricks like these demonstrate the team's true potential to farm mid ladder crush all who stand before you. (Though it's really hard to position if you want to pull it back and try to set up TR later!)

HARIYAMA: Walled by Ghost types? Oh no! I can't knock Annihilape for 20% and give it a free Rage Fist stack! While Hariyama's iconic role is to click Fake Out once and then die immediately - and there's absolutely no shortage of that here - Tera Normal Facade allows it absolutely nuclear damage against anything it can't click CC into. And they want you to believe Amoonguss is a TR answer! (You do have to survive a turn to get it off, though, which is the only thing harder than the team's Dondozo matchup)

FARIGIRAF: My incredibly cold take pre-release is that the TR setter that can block priority moves would be good (no way!), but what I was not able to predict is how much damage it could put out. When you click Tera Normal, not only do you stop evil threats like Meowscarada and Hydreigon taking you out for free, you also boost the power of Hyper Voice, boost it further with Throat Spray, and then you have an accidental pocket nuke on the mon that nobody expected to do anything except click TR and then sit there like a Dusclops. (Nothing to say here - this mon rules and I'm glad it's getting its redemption arc in more recent formats)

KINGAMBIT: Looks like a bad set now, but this was back when people were spamming AV with weird defensive teras. "awww but i need my siwwy widdwe defensive covewage!!" WRONG. Tera Dark Kowtow Cleave. Let it be known that *I* invented having fun with Kingambit. (PLEASE do not ask me why I have Supreme Overlord, though)

40 wins. 14 losses. And possibly the worst VGC team you have ever seen.

Happy Halloween!

At a time when my taste in media feels extremely in flux and hard to place, where I always find myself trying and bouncing off old and new games alike, I'm happy to say that Hollow Knight still holds strong as one of my all-time favourites. What's particularly interesting, though, is my relationship with this particular playthrough - I practically played it to death a few years ago, which means the 'experience' - of exploration, of discovery, of soaking everything in - should have been well and truly shattered, yet I was still able to have an experience that felt as fresh as it could reasonably be.

And what's mostly to thank for that is the world itself. It feels like it focuses on the macro rather than the micro - while individual rooms aren't often that memorable, each area has a strong identity - both through presentation and general differences in their layouts - and enough landmarks to usually make it easy enough to orient yourself. It's a huge world, but one that wraps around on itself enough to where aimless wandering always feels like it'll land you somewhere interesting. Combined with the map only updating on a bench (this one's controversial? I love how the map works personally!) and the option to remove your compass, and it's incredibly easy to recreate the feeling of blind exploration - you'll still have a broad sense of where to go, but you'll have likely forgotten the routes through a lot of the areas themselves. And yet combining its mechanical intricacies with raw creativity let a replay give an extra shine to the world - I didn't know where I was going, but I *do* know how to get to that secret over there easier by pogoing off a Vengefly I lured from the other side of the map. It managed to add an extra layer of intrigue into a world that I was already surprised how much it still offered me.

It's far from a perfect world, though, and I noticed a lot more holes than I ever did before. While most collectible upgrades are pretty significant - something I do like - the size of the world means they feel incredibly scattered and awkwardly distributed; particularly, I noticed how many mask shards and charm notches are just directly sold to you, and how a good chunk of ore is just held behind rescuing grubs. Additionally, the endgame areas feel a bit weaker than the rest - Queen's Gardens feel uncomfortably linear, so many of White Palace's later challenges are just spikes on cycles coming out of walls, and I REALLY wish I didn't have to climb out of the Abyss *that* many times. The lategame also falls closer to explicit lock-and-key design, with the upgraded Dream Nail *only* being used to enter White Palace and shade walls existing, which feel videogame-y to the point where they almost feel immersion-breaking. (edit: I was being WAY too melodramatic here, I really just think they're ugly)

These are all nitpicks though, and if you've ever talked to me about this game, you'll know I could write hundreds of paragraphs nitpicking this game to the ends of the earth and none of it could take any of my love away for this game. What I *did* brush up against most this time, though, is difficulty. See, Hollow Knight is a pretty tricky game that gives you tools that can make it *incredibly* easy - I'm talking blowing up the final boss so hard it could only use one or two attacks per phase. And while it's easy to forget specific level layouts enough to stumble around in them like you did the first time around, it's *much* harder to forget how to equip Shaman Stone, Quick Slash and Fragile Strength and turn every combat encounter into paste. It's forbidden knowledge - you can't un-know it, and you also have to actively stop yourself from using it. I didn't want to police myself on any item usage (I've done that enough in the past!), which ultimately left me with a slightly uneasy feeling as the final boss, whose fight took me 10(!) minutes on my first win, barely even had the chance to fight back.

None of that's really the game's fault though, and if there's one thing to take away from that about the game as a whole, it's that it's good enough for me to even play it to that point! Hollow Knight's fantastic. It's a great experience with an immaculate atmosphere and a beautiful score, and it's also an incredibly gratifying game to grind down and learn to an exact science. And if there's one thing that *I'm* gonna take away from this, it's that I can't wait to break Silksong into tiny little pieces.