As I said when I reviewed those games, both Crash Bandicoot 1 and 2 ended up falling short for me, not terrible games by any means, but they are plagued by problems, both from its original design and the ones that the N'Sane Trilogy spawned. If I had to define Crash Bandicoot in one word, it would be ''mediocre'' and Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back, while it did introduce a handful of upgrades both in gameplay and in presentation, it was a rather small step that wasn’t enough to solve the core problems with the original, which were very much still present. Plus, the whacky hitboxes and platform collision only added salt to injury, and resulted in a pair of 3D platformers that, while competent, felt really underwhelming and filled with flaws...

...then Warped entered the room and NOW WE ARE FUCKING TALKING!

Despite all of my problems with the previous two, I kept pushing, 'cause I really wanted to experience the marsupial's first trilogy and I really wanted to like it, but I'll admit that after Crash 2 not being the leap forward I hoped it would be, I went into Warped mentally prepared that maybe it would just be another Crash game, and yeah, I was right, it wasn't a leap forward... but rather a jet propelled jump.

Crash Bandicoot: Warped is still cursed by some of the already existing problems of its brothers, hitboxes are still far from perfect, the fact that in this one it was the least noticeable out of the three doesn't make it less excusable, and sometimes the game has a hard time communicating distances and hou long needs your jump to be (tho sometimes it may be the platform collision messing it up), but as a whole, it really feels like the game is playing on a league of its own.

It takes many of the things introduced in Cortex Strikes Back and ramps them up to eleven: the warp rooms, a little more of focus of in the story department and mini cut-scenes scattered through the game all come back stronger than ever. The set up for this one is well done, introducing the biggest menace yet with Uka Uka, giving Aku Aku finally some personality and in general they manage to feel the stakes somewhat high, which is honestly very surprising and welcomed. Also making the warp-rooms unified and giving the context of being a time machine instead of some random, unknown place like in 2 is a really neat touch and adds a lot to the game's thematic. Also the music is really good once again, tho in my opinion the previous game soundtrack is amazing and a bit better than this one, this game has some absolute bangers, especially with the bosses, Dingodile's theme in particular feels out of this world, it's a freacking bop.

But alright, the perfected the presentation, neat, but where Crash has limped a little has been in the level design department; levels from the previous entries ranged from ''that was neat'' to ''that wasn't really good...'' and my favorite: '' I don't wanna see this level ever again''. So, imagine my surprise when Warped levels turned out to be... fun! Like, really, really fun and well designed, and finally shows how much Naughty Dog had learned from their previous outings. Level use the time travel theme to their fullest potential, creating obstacles and enemies that make senses within the theme at play (dinosaurs, medieval, futuristic,...) and at same time creates really interesting layouts that are really fun to traverse and pose a challenge almost never feels like a chore. It never stops moving, constantly trying new ideas, and while levels of the same theme tend to follow similar beats like the previous game, this time around they ALWAYS introduce something new or put a really interesting and fun spin, for example: the first dino level has a 2-D section and a chase part with a triceratops, and the next dino level does have these things too, but it introduces new enemies, obstacles, and section here you can ride a baby T-Rex, and those small changes make the level feel both like a blast and original. They also vary a lot with new styles of gameplay, I've heard that many people dislike the non-platforming levels but I actually really love them, they control nicely (for the most part, we will get to that) and a really cool way to spice things up and try new things, and honestly I don't think that Crash on an armed airplane would suppose a menace to society but it ended up being extremely fun, so I have very little to complain about.

I liked almost all the levels here, which is a huge contrast with my experiences with the other games... but I'll say this: I have no idea who approved of that level, and it maybe is ebcause of the N'Sane trilogy new controls, but Road Crash is one of the worst levels I've played in a while. It isn't fun, turning is incredibly difficult, if you fuck up once you pretty much lose the entire level and the rest of motorcycles levels aren't even as fucked as that one, so I don't know what happened there.

Anyway, returning to the good stuff: THE BOSS FIGHTS. Holy mother of N.Brio what a glow up. In the past games, bosses were easy, simple and extremely boring, and in this one, they are easy, simple, and extremely fun! They aren't complicated in the slightest, but this time they manage to be really entertaining, they go by fast, and in general are still pretty well designed, and the final boss fight this time around is actually remarkable and cliamtic! Tho I say, I wished they played with the time travel theming a bit more, Tiny Tiger has this really cool boss fight on a Rome Colosseum, with lions included, but the rest just feel like average Crash bosses with not that much of that of the time travel theme on them (except N.Tropy I guess, but I digress). There's also much more build up to them, they are introduced by this little cut-scenes before levels where they talk to Crash and Coco, and it goes a long way in making them more feel like characters, giving them a personality and making you want to take them down. And if ALL of that wasn't enough, when you defeat one you get a power-up! In 1 an 2, bosses were kind of in the way, they appeared, you beat them, and continue with your adventure. This time you get an upgrade to your move set, which once again goes a long way in making this encounters feel more climatic, and the power-ups and incredibly useful and amazing additions to Crash's control, the double-jump in particular being an incredible implementation.

You may be asking at this point why the hell I'm so over enthusiastic, after all this all sounds like basic things that there would be on a competent platformer, and in fact I doubted if giving this game 3'5 stars instead of 4, and it's still possible that I change my mind in the future, so why am I gushing so much about this game? Simple: not only does this finally feel like what these games always strived to be, but also it executes it masterfully, it's a game that is a blast to go through... but I can't imagine it that it can be very fun to complete.

Everything positive I said doesn't change the negatives I already stated, plus the fact that some of the vehicles, like the jet-ski and motorcycle, while fine enough to control on its own, sometimes and when trying to go fast, it's clear that they are anything but precise. I believe this is once again a problem with the N'Sane Trilogy, and that honestly sucks, 'cause it’s another flaw to add what this time around would be an incredibly amazing game.

Warped has become my favorite by a long-shot, I think that fact has been apparent though most the review, and while it still as polished and well-designed as I would have liked, it was a joy to go through and it has finally managed to make me really value the orange rat.

It may still be flawed, but it has a ton of heart... AND DINOSAURS LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

Guys, I think my girlfriend joined a cult.

I played Dead Space in 2008 under some pretty lousy pretenses. Someone I was into was playing the game, and so I ran out to buy a copy just so I could talk to her about it. I didn't have any inherent interest beyond that, not initially anyway.

That lack of interest turned around when I saw "CUT OFF THEIR LIMBS" scrawled in blood - an invitation to arm yourself with the plasma cutter, one of the best handguns in gaming. Of course, the plasma cutter is not specifically designed as such. Rather, it's a tool. One that can be employed in dangerous, even deadly ways, but protagonist Isaac Clark isn't a space marine or some sort of special operative. He's just some schlub being sent out to repair a mining vessel his girlfriend is stationed on. I've worked in medical claims, I know engineers and repairmen don't shoot people, they tear off limbs and fuck things up with power tools. Usually themselves, granted, but like, sometimes other people are involved!

Being an engineer means a lot of your objectives involve repairing the derelict USG Ishimura. The engines aren't working, asteroid/debris defense systems are down, gravity is messed up, and various sectors of the ship are closed off. Not only do you have to cut your way through Necromorphs, you have to do your damn job. Conceptually, I think the idea of having to repair the ship in order to navigate it is interesting, but the objectives you're given typically feel rote and unengaging. You have telekinetic powers and the ability to slow things down, but they're very rarely used in any interesting ways, and although you're armed to the teeth with power tools, you'll never make use of any of their unique functions in order to solve puzzles or patch up the Ishimura. It feels like they had this great concept for a setting and conceived of some cool ways to roadblock the player but struggled to realize it in a way that's consistently fun.

Perhaps it's because I played Resident Evil 4 right before this that I find myself so disinterested in Dead Space's structure. According to co-designer Ben Wanat, Dead Space started life as System Shock 3, but after the release of Resident Evil 4 it was decided to create a game based around it instead. Although RE4's DNA is here, I feel like Dead Space succeeds in creating its own identity and that it is mechanically distinct enough for direct comparisons to feel somewhat weak, but I'm gonna make one anyway and point out that Resident Evil 4's more audacious nature makes it a far more compelling game even though I find Dead Space to have better combat. You won't be running away from any gigantic, animated statues like you're in the opening of Excel Saga, or calling in helicopter support to execute Necromorphs in slow motion. Instead, you'll be slowing down fan blades so you can run down a tube or throwing giant green orbs through a hole. Exciting stuff. I do think they have something going on with the zero-gravity mechanic, but like a lot of other elements of Dead Space's design, it's just not used to its fullest potential.

Every time you lumber your way through another task, the game follows it up with another heart-pounding Necromorph attack, so it's good that Dead Space's combat is so satisfying that it carries as much of the game as it does. The setting and atmosphere pulls a lot of weight here, too. I love Alien and Event Horizon, and body horror speaks to me in some incredibly dark ways, so this is explicitly my jam. There is something terrifying not only about the visceral nature of the human form contorting, exploding, expanding, and crunching into a new shape, but the loss of identity and of bodily autonomy is what all that gore is meant to truly represent, giving it a psychological edge that fires off all the right chemicals in my brain. I really like this stuff, and even if the remake (Haven't played it yet, it's an EA game so it'll hit ten bucks by the end of the year or be free on PS+ before that) changes nothing but the fidelity, I imagine I'll end up liking it more.

It better not remove Isaac's animation whenever he's stepping in gunk, though. He just stomps around like a kid splashing in a puddle, I love it.

Actually, I never played this to impress anyone. I thought I did, but they never existed in the first place. A figment of my imagination, placed there by the Xbox 360, compelling me to buy Dead Space and to become part of a greater, horrific animal.

Guys, I think I joined a cult.

i think i can finally accept this as the definitive version of dark souls, particularly when fixed up with the original armor textures (which were horribly flattened in this one, for reasons i cannot fathom), a reshade profile which adjusts the lighting and contrast to be a bit closer to that of the original game (gotta have that heavy chiaroscuro and golden glow), and a mod which augments and meshes with the game's own online functionality to cycle through each location for possible invasions whether within the limitations of your own soul and weapon levels or infinitely upward. i haven't waited more than a minute or two to invade with this mod, and for me this is an absolute godsend since i am far more interested in 'organic' invasions, world pvp style, than i am in sweaty arena duels at the oolacile township bonfire.

i hadn't actually played this game at all since moving back home to michigan (from portland, oregon) at the end of 2019, and... well, "it feels like going home again" isn't what i want to say: it's more like a refreshing reminder that i haven't lost everything, though sometimes it feels that way. i don't think of too many video games as being mine, made for me, but this is one of them.

Gradius is a shoot 'em up series I've been working through the last year or so. Playing through the Gradius titles especially, this close together, just feels like constant de ja vu. I believe a lot of people would describe the repeating levels and enemies as 'series staples' but I just see it as a lack of innovation. Gradius IV came out almost 15 years after the original 1985 release yet it feels almost like the same game.

Don't get me wrong, the visuals are certainly improved. Gradius IV uses some nice 3D models with decent looking effects for the time. It has a bit of a 'my first 3D' game look to it that a lot of titles did in that era but it looks good. The level and ship design though may as well have not evolved in that same time. There is an Easter Island statue section, a volcano level, a fire dragon level, some repeating bosses etc. Whilst there are slight changes (the volcano section now moves up and down) there is nothing exciting here, I've seen it all before.

The game plays well enough, I played it on the PSP Gradius collection. I certainly found it more accessible than Gradius III which was obnoxiously hard. That is until I got to another 'series staple'. In Gradius you sometimes get these forced speed sections where the screen speeds up horizontally forcing you to weave through obstacles to get past like your ship is speeding through. This section broke me. A wrong choice? Straight into a dead end you can't avoid. Dead. Stay at the back of the screen to see what's coming? Enemy comes from behind. Dead. Door closes on you and don't get there early enough or shoot it enough? Dead. It's just awful. I don't have the patience or time to memorise and practice this halfway through the game. I'd rather play games that are fun.

Worst cover art of the series too disapointingly. Two stars for being better than Gradius III, I still don't like it though.

RULING DIES OUT
I don't really know how to start this review. It's hard for me to put into words how I feel about this game, it's perception given by others, and my already strong feelings for the source material it's based on. I should preface this review by saying I don't think Yakuza Kiwami is a bad game, but I think it's an absolute failure as a remake and several other things. Everything about the original game that made it so unique is... simply gone. The fantastic atmosphere, stellar soundtrack, rock solid pacing, it's not present anymore.
Visually this game is just extremely bland. The aesthetic is simply copy pasted from Yakuza 0 but now without the 80's flair from that game, making it look so bleak and uninspired. The game still looks good, sure. But none of it's original vibe is even close to being present. The dingy, lived in streets of Kamurocho, filled with a nasty underbelly hidden from the average citizen... missing. Everything feels just a bit too sterile. The residents of Kamurocho no longer feel like individuals who live here and have their own lives to attend to, it's just generic NPCs transiting.
The combat is "technically" better than the original, but I also don't care. It's the exact same as Yakuza 0 with some slight enhancements, that's great! Maybe make your enemies better designed around this. I won't act like Yakuza 1's bosses were particularly amazing, but they were fun and quick. Now these bosses have became absolutely loaded with health, even having the ability to entirely regenerate full bars if you don't have the correct heat action to stop them. Everything is so much more bloated for NO reason. All of these enhancements to 0's combat would be perfect in a game that ISN'T THIS ONE. Every boss is worse than the original, the only one even being close in quality is the final boss... yeah. I'm being serious.
Even the music is worse. They're not exactly bad remixes I guess but they're so much less interesting and several tracks are flat out missing. It doesn't help that this game doesn't ever USE any of the music it has for normal battles aside from like, 3 themes. The remix for the chapter 10 boss, Turning Point, is horrid. It maintains nothing that made the source so atmospheric and emotional, now becoming a lame trap remix pretty much.
Pacing was another major strength of Yakuza 1. While I still managed to finish Kiwami in a similar length of time, everything generally felt more drawn out for no reason. For example, in chapter 3 you pick up this one item pretty quickly and move on. Kiwami, however, decides to slightly draw this out by adding a couple extra steps after finding the item and like - literally what is the point. SERIOUSLY. Thanks for wasting my time, I guess?
Majima everywhere is another detriment to both the pace and tone of the story. Majima in og 1 only appeared like three times, and I a story context it made sense. For some reason in this game however Majima has gone full cockstalker mode and will stop at nothing to fight you in both scripted events and random battles. Now, to be nice for a second, I like the scripted events! They're charming. But why are they in this game? It's extremely inconsistent with his presence in the main story, now being this goofball of a character compared to his gritty maniacal self in the main narrative. Who is this even trying to appeal to? Majima didn't act like this in 0, nor did he in 1. It's like RGG thought the original game was too mature so they needed the game to be sillier like 0, so they threw in a popular character from that game and wrote up a bunch of wacky scenarios. I don't get it man.
And that's sort of just what my problem is. I don't understand what this game wants to be. Is it trying to turn Yakuza 1's story into a sequel to 0's? Well, I'm sorry but... the game wasn't written like that. It was meant to be viewed in it's original context with no future retcons or whatever. Then is it trying to be a remake of 1 that preserves what the original intended to be? Well it surely didn't do that either! Copying 80% of the content and assets from 0 alongside even cutting a couple substories, cutscenes, and songs from the source material is a major red flag and a sign that your remake isn't working. The game is simply just lazy.
I'm tired of this whole common mentality that Kiwami is better than 1 because it has new things to tie into 0, because Kiwami doesn't improve upon... ANYTHING from it's source. I genuinely can't think of a single thing this game did better than the original. "They added Nishiki backstory cutscenes!!" They're superfluous. They elaborate upon things we didn't need to know and isn't enough to warrant a full blown remake of a perfectly solid game.
I don't really know how to structure or end this review at all, because quite honestly I'm just writing off of pure instinct. I'm sorry this review has been so negative but like, I'm just disappointed. It's a pointless remake that isn't worthy of replacing Yakuza 1. At all. Easily the weakest RGG game I've played so far, being ""okay"" at best. And that does not cut it for this studio period. Skip this one. Play the original instead.

I was born post-Y2K so I'm not gonna pretend to act like I have any experience with what the internet was actually like at the time, but even as a spectator to that whole era I can still see this as maybe the best piece of art ever made about how much it means to be a part of a community you belong to. About knowing your roots and preserving your history, even in the face of societal adversity. About how capitalism can ruin art whenever it feels like it. It feels universal. It lures you in with goofy character writing and funny observations of days gone and then punches you hard in the gut with the force of how much those types of things mean to you.

they got me cryin over the heavyhanded christian theming at the end!!! goddammit passionate collective of talented artists who made this thing i hate u!!!!

If the last half-decade has demonstrated anything, it is that the terminally online rhetoric of post-ironic who-gives-a-shit is metastasising. Vine was a benign growth, TikTok a malignant tumour. The netizen-hive-mind-collective that 'solved' the Boston Bombing is directly responsible for the fashwave that is/has/does/will erode democracy. Your grandpa has FOMO and bought $GME to 💎🙌 to the moon and we're all gonna make it, gm, gn, and you're buying into my shitcoin so I can rugpull you because Blizzard nerfed Siphon Life during Obamna's first term. Video games and anime used to be so much better before this forced diversity bullshit ᴡʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ꜰᴜᴄᴋ ᴀʀᴇ yᴏᴜ ꜱᴀyɪɴɢ ᴅᴏ yᴏᴜ ʜᴇᴀʀ ᴛʜᴇ ꜱʜɪᴛ ᴅʀɪʙʙʟɪɴɢ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏꜰ yᴏᴜʀ ᴍᴏᴜᴛʜ yᴏᴜ ᴄʀᴇᴛɪɴ took away the possibility of me getting a tradwife with Abigail Shapiro's body and Marin Kitagawa's face while I [REDACTED] to Angela White after a month of semen retention and get those GAIN$$$$ because there's always a bigger fool and it sure as fuck isn't me and you just don't get this new meme and I'm being gangstalked and I haven't [As the owner of a LandNFT, you own your individual Metalverse patch and secure a permanently assigned place on the Met---

The Milennials are the new Boomers [GEN-X ERASURE] and even the Zoomers are coming of age and they've been inundated with information and bullshit bullshit bullshit so they're casting a mirror back at this fucked up world we've made for them in their own art but some people are trying to be cute and coy with it and you get a YIIK or a Neon White but at least one of those was a good game even if it was still corpo-white-washed faux-sthetics. And your cute and coy attempts and being quirky fail to represent how angry you should be that you were born into this mess of a world because don't you know anger results in nothing? Why yes my favourite podcasts are My Brother, My Brother & Me, and The Adventure Zone, I love to choke down the fetid slurry that is the McElroys' toxic positivity of no bummers and horses and you're being force fed advertisements for fast food and you can't even open your eyes to realise it.

So when a game has the moxie to be viscerally angry, I have to take notice because that feels so genuine in the hyperrealistic world we inhabit. And Splatter is mad that the Internet has made us manipulative, lonely, nostalgic, deluded, greedy, and ultimately willing to harm others (or ourselves) for some gain, be it financial or spiritual or egotistical or chemical. This works where other games borne of the online mindset falter because this runs deep. Rat King Collective didn't disconnect to craft up some malformed half-simulacra that is outdated before it comes out. They never stopped being online, they didn't go for the here and now, they struck at the core of fourteen-year-old-me's identity. This isn't the cream of the crap, this is the dregs of a multitude of online cultures that you, yes, had to be there for. Or maybe you didn't. Does it matter? This goes deep enough that a missed referential quip refuses a reading of "oh this is one of those internet things I don't get," it simply recedes into the background, a cacophony of noise.

It isn't as if the gameplay is some marvel though. It's a spongy xoomer-shooter affair with hand guns and a Dark Souls Borne Ring dodge and commitment to the bit. A leaping enemy is gonna leap! Your dodge isn't going to give you i-frames but it'll get you out of the way and into a new harm's way. I'm not here for the gameplay anyways, it's a means to an end.

This is the video game equivalent of B.R. Yeager's Amygdalatropolis and I ravenously ate it up. Get mad. Wreck shit. Tear it all down. WORLD IS A FUCK

What is the best game?

What could the best game even be? It's hard to think of, isn't it? Maybe you would want good mechanics? A gripping story with very well-written and likeable characters? Lush environments with an atmospheric soundtrack that drags you straight into it's universe? There's many more you could want that would be more tailored to your personal tastes, which at that point your best game becomes my mediocre game and vice-versa. Arguments and debate about influence are often used as sticks of measurement as to what the best game possibly is, but influence is something that can be lost in time like many other things in life. After all, nothing is truly original, and would it be fair to give an award to one who was simply....first? I'm not entirely sure on that myself.

Metroid on NES was different from the other games I had played on that system, where as I played other stuff like Super Mario Bros. or Duck Hunt for childish entertainment, I felt a much different array of emotions. I was scared, I was curious, I was confused, and I was intrigued. It was due to this, and my sudden discovery that I enjoyed music coming from a little electronic piece of equipment, that Metroid was something I couldn't really forget, nor would I not find it's ambition to be truly commendable for such an early title. I liked it, but it wasn't my favorite NES game. Samus would notably spend a long ways away from my personal gaming timeline, Metroid II just being that Super Game Boy box was again my only memory, and in Super Smash Bros on Nintendo 64 I would play as Samus wondering where she's been this whole time, being reminded of her existence as I played as her, because she just seemed cool. She was cool, but I noticed something when I would look at her character profile in there....

Super. Metroid.

What is that? In 2023 it might be a bit hard to believe, but back then I did not have internet, or even cable. The only games that were out on Super Nintendo to my knowledge were just whatever was at the local Hollywood Video and such. Maybe I saw Super Metroid at Toys r' Us and just never registered it? Who's to say? One thing is for sure though, at one point I started getting into gaming magazines, and my dad eventually had a cable package with G4 among it's listings. It was in places such as these where I would hear the combination of the words "Super" and "Metroid" a lot. I was already interested, but in these same pieces of media, many would cite Super Metroid as "one of the best games of all time" and other such words of grandeur. It knocked me off my feet to hear about it or even see footage of it, Samus was in...the best game? I... wasn't there for it.

For years, it would be a bit of a white whale of gaming for me, especially after having enjoyed games that renewed my interest in the meantime such as Zero Mission and the Prime games. I had played pretty much every major release that came about on the SNES too...

Super Mario World? Of course.
Donkey Kong Country? Was my jam.
Link to the Past? Yeah, I played it at a friend's house.
Super Metroid? Wha-what?

It wouldn't be until I started browsing GameFAQs where I would eventually learn of this thing called "emulators". What are those? One google search later, I would find it... a program that would help this penniless child play a game they had stuck in the back of their mind for what seemed like a decade. It was during a time where emulation was a bit dodgy, certain things would look off and sounds could come out pretty warbly. Back then though, we were just happy to have something work at full speed. I was thankful enough just to see that famous intro, albeit with German subtitles attached to it. I couldn't believe it, on my family's kitchen computer I was about to play it, the best game...

It seems our little friend from our adventure on SR388 has been kidnapped by familiar foes, those we hadn't seen since they were but adorable 8-bit caricatures. They have rebuilt their base, and have grown far more fearsome. It's time to visit Zebes again, our old stomping ground. We trek across familiar landscapes, recalling the memory of escaping during the countdown of the original destruction of Mother Brain and find our morph ball....right where it was last time. All too familiar, until we are spotted and suddenly we find Ridley's henchmen swarming the innards of Old Tourian. This Zebes is different, it's been expanded and they are much more prepared for us this time it seems, and Kraid has gotten.....larger.

....but we were ready, for we are SUPER Metroid!

I always thought it would be seen as odd to have nostalgia for an emulator. It's not a real system, it's a fake, a phony. A shoddy imitation of what was my little grey and purple friend I had next to my little cable-less hand-me-down TV in my bedroom. To top it all off, there is no reason to ever use it anymore, it is obsolete and has been for some time now. It's existence means nothing anymore, but it lent me a sudden helpful hand and let me experience games that I had missed out on...and allowed me to finally revisit old favorites during a time it felt impossible. Oh, Star Fox how I had missed you so. It's difficult to believe they were once so guarded from young online eyes, and now they are commonplace. It's hard for me to imagine a world without them...a world where those younger than me wouldn't be able to easily experience that of which I had grown up with.

Thank you for your time ZSNES my old chum...and thank you Nintendo for making this apparently behind my back, and thank you Zeric, maker of this map on GameFAQs.

That leads us back to the question I asked from the beginning, what is the best game? Is Super Metroid the best game? Well my friend, I've played many a "best game". Many have not survived my trials, whether it was due to factors like "I didn't care for the thing" or a simple "I just don't play well with RPGs I'm afraid", but... Super Metroid has legs. It's a horse in this race of highly-acclaimed classic titles that I would get behind. It walks that aisle, and styles and profiles. Upon finishing my return to this game that I played very much legally as a youngling, I found myself playing again right away, and my entertainment somehow doubled as I was utilizing wall jumps to find alternate quicker paths to upgrades and energy tanks. It's a rare breed of game that somehow gets better the more you play it, just like a true Metroid adventure. What was once a clunky feeling is now just second nature, no longer do I care about the controls or Samus' physics of actually feeling like a person in a space suit jumping around on an alien planet. It is all just second nature, and now I am Samus, and I fuckin' rule.

The high I get from seeing that small amount of inventory I start with getting larger, and eventually taking up all that space on the top of the screen? Unfathomable.

Imagine making something that was so good that developers didn't want to even follow up such a game. That begs the question, could you in fact make a better Metroid? What is the next step for the series then? If Sakamoto could not imagine a way to utilize the Nintendo 64's controller, then what hope is there for the Dolphin console? There is maybe one way...how about, now bear with me on this...two fantastic games, at the same time. Would that be sufficient? Hrmph, unlikely that such a thing would be done. Regardless, it seems we would need to wait a while to go on another adventure with our favorite bounty hunter. I suppose another round of matches with the boys would be okay in the meantime. Until next time Samus, take care.

See you next mission.

Save the animals.

" I rolled a streak of 7 hits in my limit break with a Meteor Barret 9999 finisher "
Me: STFU Zell nobody cares. Annoying ass "chicken-wuss" SeeD member.

" I uhmmm rolled a single Cura in my Slot ability... "
Me: Thank you for this vital support my queen. All hail Selphie from Trabia Garden.

I won’t mince my words here: the last month has been a bit underwhelming. Don’t get me wrong, there have been some solid titles that I finally got to finish and everything’s been interesting enough to where I still wrote about it, but nothing’s quite blown my mind recently. Flywrench might have set the bar a bit too high, for better or for worse. So, it looks like it’s time for another nostalgia reset; what better way to get myself back in gear than to go back to the source? Consider this write-up a follow up to my original Donkey Kong Country piece; since I think I’ve fleshed out obstacle escalation theory a ton by this point, I’ll focus more on differences between the two games this time around.

There’s an old Eurogamer review round-up that sort of laments the lack of differences between the original DKC and Diddy’s Kong Quest, referring to the sequel as a victim of “lack of ambition.” I honestly don’t agree with this assessment; Donkey Kong Country 2 preserves much of the original design philosophy for sure, but the game’s levels are often structured so differently with so many new ideas that I find it quite baffling to describe the sequel as “not terribly imaginative.” If anything, there were so many new ideas that many of them led to a lot of dissonance regarding expectations of flow and functionality between the two games. I’ll try to go over as many of the outstanding features as I can, but first, we should address the change in scope that seems to have thrown off so many of us, myself included.

In a retrospective Retro Gamer interview, lead designer Gregg Mayles describes this best: “If we had made it speed runs again then there wouldn’t have been much scope for us to go anywhere different with it.” The focus then, shifted from a speedrunning-friendly momentum-based platformer to a platformer that emphasized exploration, all while still emphasizing fluidity through interchangeable moving parts. Mayles later adds, “[they] wanted to maintain the same ‘go first’ gameplay where all the barrels and baddies were set up so if you went first time – or got the timing right – then the levels were very fluid, but I also wanted to add something new to it. So the first one was very linear, and the second one introduced exploration.”

This is perhaps the most pronounced improvement from the original to the sequel: secret finding and completion now feels significantly more intuitive and fulfilling. While I never personally had much of an issue with exploration in the original, I have to admit that there isn’t much of an incentive trying to find bonus rooms outside of collectibles that all lead to extra lives and the thrill of stumbling upon treasure troves through tougher maneuvers. Diddy’s Kong Quest, however, shows far more focus: the usual spelling and slot minigames alongside treasure troves have been replaced with timed challenges that actively test players’ abilities as par the level’s themes: for example, the bonus area in the first half of Screech’s Sprint requires players to switch between characters to balance out cartwheel jumps and hovering, a bonus area in the windy Gusty Glade requires players to time jumps across dragonflies while being boosted by a current, and so on so forth. Moreover, secret entrances and bonus barrels are more clearly marked with elements such as stray bananas, enemy clusters guarding paths, platforms that are just off-screen, and even banana arrows redirecting players to areas of interest or spelling out button prompts to supercharge animal buddies/team throw. One particularly clever example comes in the level “Target Terror”, where an enemy throwing barrels at you in the car ahead drops to a track below the main track if you decide to make the jump, signifying for future runs that there’s probably something hidden below.

Another improvement towards secret finding comes in the form of cannonballs that have to be carried across segments of the level to activate a cannon into potential bonus sections; it’s a welcome change since it pools the difficulty into the task of ferrying the cannonball while grappling/avoiding enemies inbetween, instead of attempting to create difficulty via obscuring the bonus area entrance. Finally, the reward is also greatly enhanced: instead of more lives to throw into the fray, you receive Kremcoins that can be used to unlock guarded golden barrels by Klubba and access tougher levels in the Lost World to achieve that true ending and snag that sweet, sweet 102% completion. Again, I never found the original limited exploration in DKC to be much of a detriment, but I nevertheless believe that the exploration loop feels much more fleshed out and substantial this time around.

This layer of calculation behind the mechanics translates to practically every single one of the mechanics in the sequel, starting with the characters themselves. It’d be easy to write off Dixie Kong as a Diddy Kong clone, considering that their weight and physics are about the same and Dixie was originally created by iterating upon Diddy’s design in the first place. However, let’s consider Donkey Kong’s value as a controllable character in the original; outside of being a heavier character to one hit KO Armys, Krushas, and Klumps by jumping (Diddy must generally use barrels and cartwheels to defeat these enemies, or in the case of Krushas, often outright avoid them), as well as the abilities to hand slap the ground (not really useful in the original outside of collecting some stray items with no hints and defeating stunned Rock Krocs in one level) and holding the barrel directly above his head, Donkey Kong mostly serves as the character you play when you don’t feel like risking the more agile Diddy Kong to potential death. Diddy’s quicker cartwheel and faster jump means that he is the weapon of choice for most of the platforming in the long expanses of the original DKC, and Donkey Kong is often there just as a “back-up” second life.

In Diddy’s Kong Quest, Dixie and Diddy are stratified enough to where your second character is more than just a representation that you can take a second hit. Diddy is of course, still a pleasure to control thanks to his quick cartwheel jump providing a “low and long” form of movement, and holding the barrel directly in front gives Diddy a quick form of defense for approaching enemies. Dixie, on the other hand, snags Donkey Kong’s utility of holding the barrel directly above the character’s head and utilizing overhead throws with a bit extra. All of her moves involve her long blonde ponytail, including her ability to hover in mid air by holding down Y to slow her descent and reach dangling collectibles while more carefully maneuvering past flying obstacles. As a result, it might be easier to think of Diddy as the better character for the classic speedy platforming experience, while Dixie is not quite as agile but is extremely helpful for spanning larger gaps and taking your time while ascending/descending vertically.

Moreover, the sequel also places additional emphasis upon having both characters available to you at once. Most of this comes in the form of the team-throw: you can pick up your partner at any time and angle the throw to reach collectibles and platforms/hooks that would normally be impossible to jump to. Additionally, since Diddy and Dixie are both lightweights, Krunchas can only be defeated with the team-throw outside of barrel usage and animal buddies, since jumping onto Krunchas will just result in Diddy/Dixie bouncing off. Finally, certain barrel cannons are marked with either Diddy or Dixie’s face, meaning that you will need to either be using that particular character or throwing that particular character into the cannon to be launched. Having both characters on your screen has an inherently deeper meaning than just possessing another hit; not only will you need to pick the correct character for the best approach, you must often have both on-hand to maximize opportunities with the team-throw and be allowed access to character-coded barrels.

Regarding character control, animal buddies have also been greatly buffed. The original was admittingly a bit more wishy-washy towards usage of animal buddies; while they were intended as a power-up, levels had to nevertheless be designed without explicit usage of them, resulting in many situations where animal buddies at best felt like extraneous helpers that could sometimes help unlock secret areas and provided another hit point of health, and at worst feeling like an active detriment (ex: Rambi’s awkward size and maneuverability in Manic Mincers, or Espresso’s inconsistency safely walking over Klap Traps in Orangutan Gang). As seen previously, animal buddies like Rambi and Engarde can throw out attack hitboxes to break fake walls for secrets, but Diddy’s Kong Quest goes beyond that and often sculpts entire playgrounds for animal buddy abilities, going as far as to include animal buddy transformation barrels for particular sections.

Toxic Tower is a great example of this in action: you start with a very open and wide section that requires very high and lengthy jumps, often on Zingers, to scale the initial heights, as per Rattly the Snake’s speciality with the charged superjump. Then, the stage transitions to a more enclosed series of chambers and tight passageways, with tons of vertical navigation and roaming enemies that require Squawk’s flight and egg shots to clear. Finally, the stage’s final stretch is a straight shot up to the exit, forcing the player to rely upon Squitter the Spider to quickly create temporary web platforms to scale up the chute while pursued by the ever-rising toxic waste. As an addendum to maintaining composure with the animal buddy, “No Animal Signs” will force the Kongs to abandon that particular playstyle while often rewarding players that manage to get that far with their animal buddy intact with a reward, such as banana bunches, extra lives, or in some cases, barrels that can be used (and only appear in that particular fashion) to open up yet another secret area. The end result is yet another design tool that’s been pushed to its furthest extents so far for more varied level structures, broadly increasing the DKC toolkit while maintaining the same core principles.

On that note, Donkey Kong Country 2’s most defining experimental level design trend is perhaps its enthusiasm to dabble with verticality. While the original only had one primarily vertical level in Slip Slide Ride, the sequel happily mingles with scaling heights every other level or so, with some levels that resemble a spiraling zig-zag with interspersed horizontal platforming like Windy Well while others commit hard to a full scalar climb such as the aforementioned Toxic Tower. It seems antithetical at first to design so many vertical levels in a game that’s practically mastered its horizontal traversal with the fast cartwheel jump for maintaining momentum, but in my opinion, it’s simply a different language of platforming that builds off the same organic obstacle escalation and fluid movement, and with that different language comes a different set of tools to express the language more fluently. Skyhooks, barrel cannons, animal buddy abilities such as Rattly’s superjump and Squitter’s temporary web platforms, climbable ropes and chains, and even certain water levels that experiment with the changing height of the liquid and interspersing dry land platforms are just some of the many level elements that are utilized to aid ascending player movement, alongside the usual hazards to spur players into action such as the aforementioned rising toxic goo in Toxic Tower and the bramble walls encountered while flapping about with Squawks. Even within this new territory, DKC 2 subverts its own set expectations with two levels that force players to travel downwards, in the form of Parrot Chute Panic (which has players slowly descend a Zinger infested hive with the help of purple budget Squawks) and Black Ice Blitz (which as a foil to Parrot Chute Panic, goads players into quickly descending a slippery icy chasm to avoid being swarmed by grounded foes). Though it is easy to criticize the sequel for taking such a seemingly drastically different approach to level design, I do believe that Diddy’s Kong Quest deserves to stand on its own merits and absolutely presents a more calculated and methodical, yet just as focused platforming experience.

What stands out to me as this game’s greatest strength is that no idea is ever repeated verbatim, both within the game and with respect to the original DKC. A great way to illustrate these wrinkles that are used to diversify level navigation is through examination of the three minecart levels, which have now been rethemed as roller coasters. Target Terror has Diddy and Dixie leaping between skull cars to hit green checkmark barrels while avoiding red X barrels to open up closed gates and avoid closing already open ones. Meanwhile, Rickety Race recontextualizes the roller coaster ride as a straight up competition, incentivizing players to defeat and bypass enemy skull cars to eventually stomp the goon in first place and snag the level’s DK coin. Finally, Haunted Hall introduces the timer into the equation, and requires the player to collide into + barrels while avoiding – barrels to maintain timer longevity and avoid certain doom from the pursuing Kackles. At the end of the day, all of these examples are horizontal auto-scrollers, but thanks to the varied level objectives defining how traversal must be accomplished, the levels still feel distinct without any single one bleeding into another.

I could go on and on about the sheer amount of fresh level elements introduced in DKC 2 and just how many of them remain memorable to me, from the air draft balloons in Red Hot Ride to the rolling giant tires of Jungle Jinx to the usage of Clapper seals in Lava Lagoon purifying the lava into water and creating this mad scramble to make it in one piece to the other side before the liquid heats up again, and so on so forth. Sure, most of these elements are only present in one or two levels and could be written off as “gimmicks,” but that doesn’t take away from their value. Rare’s willingness to throw realism out the window and tinker with so many different kinds of mechanisms may seem at first quite unfocused, but by embracing experimentation that’s all designed to keep the player moving, that eagerness actually points to a deeper level of commitment that few platformers manage to effectively achieve.

Of course, there’s another piece to the puzzle that stops the game from ever feeling too stale, and that’s the theming itself. Again, Rare’s abandonment of realism is a key motivation; while the original DKC was often limited to natural landscapes and caves outside of Kremkroc Industries, Diddy’s Kong Quest commits fully to the absurdity of fighting alligator pirates in an unfamiliar land and as a result, greatly diversifies its various settings from the decks and sails of the Gangplank Galleon (a fitting beginning, considering that the previous adventure ended here), to the glowing infernal pits of Crocodile Cauldron, to the abandoned urban amusement wasteland of Krazy Kremland that nature has begun reclaiming with brambles and overgrown beehives. You don’t need me to tell you that this is one of the most richly textured games on the SNES, with plenty of corresponding level elements such as the sticky honey walls of Hornet Hole and the eerie disappearing ropes of Ghostly Grove to further sell the exoticism and accentuate the level of detail presented in each environment.

I’d be remiss though, to not spend a paragraph gushing about the soundtrack, something that I’d consider a formality at this point while praising the game. If the original Donkey Kong Country OST was a 10, then this is an 11. Not only are there practically no wasted tracks within the repertoire, but also every notable track ends up being a standout. I’m led to believe that David Wise was in a class of his own, because even to this day, the diverse and richly layered instrumentation is like no other. The whistling wind of Jib Jig, the bubbling lava of Hot Head Bop, the screams of excitement from Disco Train: the sheer attention to detail to embed all these different environmental SFX into the tracks themselves so that the effects never break your attention away from the task of platforming is incredible. It’s the cherry on top of this whole package; sure there’s a part of me that might get a little annoyed falling several stories in yet another mine shaft level, but at least I get to do it while the steel hammer samples in Mining Melancholy go for another run.

I’ll quickly address the lingering complaint that I had from the first game as well; I had previously lamented that bosses in Donkey Kong Country seemed to be a one and done affair, though the sequel does a great job substantially increasing their interactivity. Some are still a bit simple but at least have some extra steps to them: these include the first Krow fight, which you can clear by jumping on egg projectiles and then waiting for Krow to run into the held egg (though it is at least justified by being the first boss fight) and Kudgel, whose boss fight becomes a case of “jump when he lands to avoid getting stunlocked” and then ramming TNT barrels into him when appropriate. Fortunately, the highlights leave these fights in the dust. The clear standout for me here is the fight against Kleever, this giant possessed cutlass that slashes at you relentlessly while you jump to and fro between skyhooks dodging fireballs and waiting for the cannonball to respawn to get your hit in. There’s also a boss fight vs yet another giant bee, but unlike the fight vs Queen B in DKC, this King Zing fight lets you play as Squawks and shoot eggs at the giant bee’s stinger, alternating with an invincible phase where you have to dodge spikes in the closest thing resembling a bullet hell in the series and then segueing into a quickfire second phase where Squawks has to defeat an outer circle of respawning normal sized Zingers before landing the final hit.

Even the final fights vs K Rool (sorry, Kaptain K Rool) have been juiced up, with plenty more jumping and rolling to be done to dodge scores of spiked cannon balls as well as some colorful gas clouds that can mess with your control scheme or movement speed if you’re not careful. The first fight is a bit longer than previous boss fights since it serves as the final boss gauntlet, but there's at least some wiggle room since a Buddy Barrel is given to you at the start of each new phase if you've taken a hit. While the true final boss fight in Krocodile Kore more or less uses the same types of attacks as the first encounter, I appreciate that they’ve at least upped the ante with some new attack patterns and scaling everything they have to throw at you in one “phase” before letting you plug up his blunderbuss with a cannonball for good. All in all, it’s improvements across the board for bosses, and while some of them are still a bit lame, it’s a vast jump up from the one-dimensional and often palette swapped fights of the original game.

So, with all the welcome changes out of the way, do I really have any outstanding major complaints to spill? I’ll admit, I often struggle to find any substantial errs in Diddy’s Kong Quest. It’s a more difficult game for sure, but I also find it surprisingly fair: the game gives you plenty of leeway with all the bananas, KONG letters, and hidden balloons and coins to win more lives at Swanky’s Bonus Bonanza, assuming you’re playing competently enough and exploring levels to their greatest extent. Moreover, most levels are pretty condensed and usually don’t take more than several minutes to clear when carefully approached, with plenty of Buddy Barrels and the Star Barrel halfway through the level as fail-safes if you end up taking a hit or two. I’ve also found during my experience that the obstacle escalation theory continues to holds true, and that dangerous moments are often greeted with plenty of warning prior and enough time to react and adapt accordingly, with instances where I’m confronted with something that I’m genuinely not prepared for few and far between. With that said, there are a few exceptions:

- Web Woods is often cited as one of the most notorious levels in the game: the majority of this stage is spent playing as Squitter, with large stretches of abyss that have to be crossed with disposable web platforms while sniping any Zingers and Mini Nectys in the way. Upon my replay, I don’t think it’s as hard as others make it out to be, but it definitely feels a bit longer because Web Woods forces either extremely careful movement and web shots when going fast ( see Mike Kanis’ recording for an example ) or for casual playthroughs, steady and often strenuous platforming across daunting gaps while juggling enemies at the same time. I’ll concede that the level could probably be improved upon with a few smaller gaps and removing the extraneous introductory Kongs platforming section, but otherwise, I think this level serves its purpose well and just takes a bit of time to get used to. Though, I do think that putting the DK coin in the end-of-level target is pretty lazy and evil considering that the coin flashes in the display for less than half a second and you'll have to replay the whole level again if you were just a hair off.

- Screech’s Sprint is probably the most significant difficulty spike present in DKC 2 in my opinion (which is saying something considering Toxic Tower is the level right before this), and as the final level before the first K Rool fight, is unfortunately a bit of a slog and probably my least favorite level in the game. The first half of the level is solid end-game platforming through the brambles and isn’t too bad, but the second half of the level is an extremely tight race as Squawks against his goth counterpart Screech, that has to be played close to perfectly if you’re not aware beforehand of the many shortcuts hidden in the brambles since second place will result in instant death. That’s not even bringing into account the KONG letters that are all present in the race segment, or the hidden DK coin (that can at least be collected in a throwaway run). Needless to say, it’s a cool concept, but there’s not much time given for the player to scale up and adapt to the sudden rush of precision required for the race or to discover all the ins and outs of the course, so if any level in the game feels like throwing away lives and banging your head against the wall, I’d wager that it would probably be this one. Also, it overrides Stickerbush Symphony with its own theme... which isn’t a bad track, but it's automatically my least favorite track in the OST because anything that takes away from the GOAT of VGM is an instant con in my book.

- Animal Antics is generally the final level tackled by most players who are going for the true final boss fight (as the final level in the Lost World), and while I hesitate to call any single level gimmicky, I suppose this is the one that comes closest to the definition. It’s a marathon that involves the usage of all five animal buddies, which already sounds like quite an exhausting affair. However, it’s exacerbated by the fact that the first two animal buddy segments (Rambi and Engarde) are pretty straightforward by this point, but the next two right after the Star Barrel in the form of Squitter and Squawks generally take up a lot more time, especially because the Squawks segment requires you to navigate yet another bramble maze while a mercurial wind current keeps blowing you left and right and forces you to alternate between fighting the wind or fighting the controls to avoid being blown astray by the wind. The final segment with Rattly is not particularly difficult, but it sure is intimidating as hell since there are no Buddy Barrels to be found there and you’ve probably already taken a hit as Squawks, turning what should be the victory lap of a marathon into a one of the most nerve-wracking level finishers, since dying here means getting sent back to the Star Barrel and having to do Squitter, Squawks, and Rattly all over again. It probably doesn’t help that Toxic Tower utilizes the animal buddy swap formula more succinctly either, with a smoother difficulty curve to boot.

Besides these three levels though, I can’t really say that the difficulty in Diddy’s Kong Quest ever felt discouraging to me. If anything, I found my second full playthrough even more fulfilling this time around; while I was still in the process of mastering the controls during my first run, I really got the chance to flesh out my understanding of the levels during my replay and spend more time adapting and figuring out how all the different moving parts and hazardous elements fit together in different ways. With so many new combinations to consider, I could honestly keep at this for days, even weeks upon end putting my skills to the test; more depth via tighter execution barriers from tougher obstacle courses with even more secrets to explore results in a higher skill ceiling after all. It’s really quite rewarding to figure out game-plans for each level and grind out the specific inputs necessary; as Gregg Mayles put it, the fluidity and momentum is still there, just a tad bit more difficult to grasp, and that makes actually achieving it all that much sweeter.

While the jump from the original Donkey Kong Country to Diddy’s Kong Quest came with mostly scores of improvements (even if most of the improvements were over features that never genuinely bothered me in the first place), there is one quality of life issue that does weigh on my mind as an obvious area of improvement. Aside from the tracked Kremcoins and optional DK coins, a third type of collectible in the form of banana coins is also present. However, just like the lives and banana count, the banana coin count is reset whenever the system is turned off since it’s not tracked, which becomes a bit obnoxious because banana coins are mandatory whenever requesting services from the other Kongs, from asking Cranky for hints and Funky for flights to other worlds, to even saving the game itself. It’s at least slightly mitigated since banana coins are plentiful within levels and are respawned every time you revisit, and the first time visiting Wrinkly and Funky for saving and flights respectively in each area will always be free. Nevertheless, I concede that this is a bit of a barrier for newer players who feel the need to save more often or for players who don’t have as much time on their hands to commit to longer sessions to build up lives and banana coin stocks, and Rare did seem to learn from this since paying to save is limited to just Diddy’s Kong Quest in the original trilogy.

All in all, I’m not sure if I have any far-reaching takeaways to present here or if there were really any lessons to be learned in the first place, but I’m glad I finally found the time and the opportunity to come back to really flesh out my understanding of a title that once frustrated the hell out of me as a kid. Sure, I could join the never-ending debate of which title has the greater legacy or “aged better,” but at the end of the day, I don’t think I necessary prefer Diddy’s Kong Quest over the original Donkey Kong Country or vice versa; I simply think that they’re different appeals for different moods. If I want to feel good about myself and just dash through levels in my comfort zone, I’ll pick up the original and spend a couple of hours speedrunning Blackout Basement or Loopy Lights. However, if I want make my hands sweat a bit more and really put my execution to the test, then DKC 2 will be my weapon of choice and I’ll get to feel overwhelmed while the woozy arpeggios of Forest Interlude roll over me once more. Whichever one I pick, I think I’d have a pretty damn good day.

As it stands, I’m not quite ready to put Donkey Kong Country 2 on a pedestal as my favorite 2D momentum-based platformer of all time. That said, I’ll call it an “honorable draw” as Gregg Mayles stated five years ago, and it’s about time that I started being more open with myself regarding my appreciation for what Diddy’s Kong Quest brought to the table. Hopefully, all this musing about will encourage some more to do the same. Thanks for reading, everyone.

Rain in many ways reminds me of a new-school twist on Ico. You play as a young boy who’s stumbled into a strange, twisted alternate dimension of mid-20th century Paris, after he chases after an invisible girl in the rain and must now escape this haunted reality with the girl while avoiding shadowy creatures in the torrential downpour. Much of the early to mid-game involves staying outside of the rain and tiptoeing around puddles to avoid loud splashing sounds to sneak past these invincible monsters or luring them with visible dolls and sudden noises to create paths for yourself and your companion. It’s an interesting subversion to the player’s potential discomfort, since you’re safest while invisible but also have to carefully watch and plan your movements because you won’t be able to easily tell what you’re doing (relying on slow and steady footprints) unless you choose to make yourself seen again and risk attack. Fortunately, the girl’s AI doesn’t need constant attention either, as the AI will respond accordingly to your own actions and move/create cover to shield from the rain and provide other distractions when necessary to help you along your way without much hesitation or questionable pathing.

Unfortunately, this approach gets thrown out the window as the game begins to wrap up. From chapter 7 and beyond, the introduced stealth and puzzle combinations give way to pure platforming “run right rapidly” action. While it's not the first time that you’re exposed to chase sequences, the previous chase sequences were spaced far apart enough to where they never got too tedious, and there’s not much of a break between the chases in the last third of the game. By this time, the giant monster chasing you has also somewhat outstayed its welcome, and instead of feeling like this mysterious, malevolent force, it now feels more akin to a DnD mob boss that got revived by a Dungeon Master for one too many cameos after its supposed “death.” As a result, the final moments of the game seem far too unwilling to capitalize on the earlier calculated and thoughtful stealth-puzzle sequences and resort to sluggish and overused escape segments. It’s not a great feeling that a good chunk of the game feels this exhausting to see through to the end, and this weakness is exacerbated considering that the whole game can be beat in less than four hours.

As it stands, I think Rain has some great ideas at play, and a fantastic melancholic yet nostalgic atmosphere from the weathered architecture and warm streetlights in the never-ending storm. I do feel however, that there is a lot of squandered potential, from certain ideas that just aren’t used often enough (such as utilizing more dirty puddles to negate stealth from dirt stains, and deep puddles to force players to cleanse dirt and become invisible once more while creating risk via sudden noises), to a lack of hidden areas that could have been used as a vessel for additional environmental storytelling and potential secrets for those who are willing to explore more, to a somewhat unnoteworthy soundtrack that’s mostly propped by ambient downpour noise. I also question if the white text narration was necessary to tell the story, as I feel like the developers could have fully committed to the minimalist approach and handled the narrative via character gestures and shifts in the eerie surroundings. As pointed out by ToasterNinja, there’s not much replay value to be found either, since the post-game memories added for a new playthrough either add very little backstory or just sum up plot points instead. I suppose you could do worse for PS3 exclusives, and the distinct setting and carefully scripted stealth-puzzles more than do their part to establish memorable moments; I just wish that the game was a fuller and more realized experience with a bit more meat on the bone to really live up to the shadow of the greats it was inspired by.

The first time I started this game was on the Vita back in 2016. I remember JSR getting a good amount of representation in the Sonic & All-Stars Racing games and I thought this game looked fun so it caught my attention. Then when I got around to playing it, I dropped it immediately after the tutorial. Partly because of the jank and me just being lazy with games in general. Got the game on Xbox 360 to see if it was any different and the rest is history.

Is the game as janky as I remember it being? Yes, but this time I'm playing it on a much better controller, the Xbox Series X controller, so it's a little bit more bearable. Everything else about the game is great though. The music kicks ass, the art style pops and still looks great to this day, and the characters look pretty cool with Beat being my favorite. The final boss was also pretty unique and stood out to me despite how annoying the last phase of it was. However, what keeps this game from being a truly great one is constantly fighting with this game's physics to get my character to move how or do what I want them to. It's a frustrating experience and it made me nearly drop the game a couple of times, but luckily I prevailed and made it to the end. Despite my rating, I will still say it is good, but a deeply flawed game. I hear Jet Set Radio Future is a major improvement so I hope it either gets added as a backwards-compatible title on Xbox or gets a remaster in the near future.