Geram
2021
A great time, just a shame it's so short- oh hang on there's another part. TH-THERE'S MORE AFTER THIS!?
Yeah straight up anybody who says OoT isn't a masterpiece is just a contrarian. They hit it out of the park on their first try.
2001
A downgrade from the first game in its horror, but carried hard by the story, characters, and soundtrack.
2005
Though I can see why it would have been controversial at the time, I love the action hero spin on the RE formula - makes the moments of genuine horror all the sweeter and gives it a firm identity in the series
2010
Fantastic character building, world building, factions, and quests
What it lacks in replayability, it more than makes up for with an unforgettable first time. Parrying is an immensely satisfying mechanic and, coupled with the many other tools the game gives you, gives you ample opportunity to style on your enemies
2016
The most solid and consistent Souls experience. Hits neither the highs nor the lows of the previous two entries, but does have a collection of some of the best fights
2013
Pretty good overall. Perhaps the most obnoxious multiplayer in existence, which wouldn't be so bad if they didn't constantly shove it in your face.
Absurdly memorable, with one of the most bangin' soundtracks of all time.
2017
No other game except MGS4 has turned me into an emotional wreck like this one has.
2022
Imagine if you will, you are eating a steak for dinner. A huge steak. You skipped breakfast and lunch for this, so you are ready to finish the whole thing. You are also blind, so you don't know what each specific bite will entail. You cut off a piece and take your first bite. Delicious. You're already hyped for the next bite. You take it. Fat. Not just marble, an entire mouthful of only fat. That is what ER is like to me, bogged down significantly by the open world design, tacking on hours upon hours of slog when you just want to get to the meat.
You go to a weird corner of the map and kill whatever lies for you there? Get fucked, have a crafting material you'll never use and some pity runes for your trouble.
You go one of the copypasted mini-dungeons? Get fucked, here's a spirit ash that's worse than the one you've already got or a weapon that doesn't work on your build or ANOTHER spell (what, you didn't level INT? Idiot.)
And yet, you'll be punished if you elect to ignore the optional areas, because there are literally caves with vital upgrade materials which, if you don't have enough of one type for upgrade X, you won't be able to go to upgrade Y even if you do have the materials for upgrade Y already.
In the end, it leaves the player to gamble with their time to see if what they get is a satisfying experience or a disappointing detour. And don't even get me started on NPC quest lines which, coupled with the previous issues, practically necessitates having a wiki open.
Back to the steak analogy, all of this doesn't change that the meat is really, really good. The best, even. There is so much variety and tuned-up gameplay that I just wish was packaged into a better, tighter experience. Hell, I could write a whole second review just for the stuff I liked.
I just don't understand why Elden Ring is the way it is, man. FromSoft had the greatest game of all time right in front of them and they squandered it on the open world meme.
You go to a weird corner of the map and kill whatever lies for you there? Get fucked, have a crafting material you'll never use and some pity runes for your trouble.
You go one of the copypasted mini-dungeons? Get fucked, here's a spirit ash that's worse than the one you've already got or a weapon that doesn't work on your build or ANOTHER spell (what, you didn't level INT? Idiot.)
And yet, you'll be punished if you elect to ignore the optional areas, because there are literally caves with vital upgrade materials which, if you don't have enough of one type for upgrade X, you won't be able to go to upgrade Y even if you do have the materials for upgrade Y already.
In the end, it leaves the player to gamble with their time to see if what they get is a satisfying experience or a disappointing detour. And don't even get me started on NPC quest lines which, coupled with the previous issues, practically necessitates having a wiki open.
Back to the steak analogy, all of this doesn't change that the meat is really, really good. The best, even. There is so much variety and tuned-up gameplay that I just wish was packaged into a better, tighter experience. Hell, I could write a whole second review just for the stuff I liked.
I just don't understand why Elden Ring is the way it is, man. FromSoft had the greatest game of all time right in front of them and they squandered it on the open world meme.
10/10 gameplay, extremely awkward story, take my advice and play completely offline
Solid start to the series. The solutions to the cases were a bit too obvious, but it was kinda refreshing being able to use logic at face value for once in a game like this
2007
It really is a shame to see the state TF2 has been left in, but at this point the game is almost 20 years old. Even if it's propped up with puppet strings, the magic is still not entirely gone
1999
Pants-shittingly terrifying. Its age and clunkiness only contribute to making an an experience that flat out can't be replicated today