Juancy
31 reviews liked by Juancy
If this came out in the early 2010s era of Youtube there would be so many fan animations saying that the Wonder Flowers are actually Super Mario smoking weed
This game’s got a major problem called not being Enter the Gungeon.
Final Fantasy VII
1997
Welcome to next generation. Final Fantasy 7.
It's a game where one of the best journeys you can get and still is. A goofy one. A serious one. A sad one. A happy one.
A one big adventure that is.
I was expecting a overrated but fun game. But this game... This game managed to bring me the old lighthearted feelings back to me. I liked 4,5 and... first half of 6 but HOLY MOLY. Ff7 the Best one when it comes to the Journey yet for me.
To the point I even went as far as to get gold chocobo and take down Emerald weapon I was that committed to it (If you know you know).
When it comes to story, I wasn't expecting to get shocked because the spoilers everyone knows about. You know it. I know it. (Do not worry I am not gonna go into detail even if you don't know it)
But I was wrong. It shocked me it emotionally gripped me and kept me smiling with every conversation.
Story wise it's a bit messy to understand. But in it's core it's about two broken people. A person that wants revenge from the world and an another person that wants to take revenge from him. Sephiroth and Cloud. And just like that, both of them is the main characters of the story. Oh also, there is an another empire(it's called mega corp this time) to fight of course
But just like ff6, Empire are the Reason. Sephiroth is the Cause. And Cloud is the Solution.
And I loved that it's sticks to this to the end.
And side characters wise, they were fun. Are they the best side characters tho...? It's hard to say. There is a lot of good ones, Barret is awesome with a story of how a man can get angry to the point becoming a terrorist, Tifa and Aerith is awesome with their stories of coping with loss in their own way and seeing the romance blooming is just heartwarming, Cid is awesome with the story of a man can't let go of his past and turn into a rude as##ole but that's because how much he cares people around him even tho he sucks at showing it. There is also Turks, an opposite agent group that tries to takes us down but with every clash we slowly come to a respectable rivalry with them. There is Rufus, Big part of the Empire, even tho he is not much shown in the story, his sticking to his ambitions somehow manages to make him admirable(also I kinda wanted to see him more because of that even if he is a side character). There is also Cait Sith, he doesn't have a story arc like others but just for his clash with Barret and the argument of what is terrorism or not kinda made him good in my eyes.
There is also others... Vincent. Edgy word personified just like Shadow from ff6. Also Yuffie, same empty as Gau from ff6 but maybe with a little more personality. Shinra council members... Goofy but forgettable villains they are. Also Professor Hojo... The most despicable scientist there is... And couple more I forgot.
But when it comes to moments... This game really shines. Midgar plate event... The forgotten city... And the "Reunion". It's... Single-handedly enough to make this game better than all of my previous experiences. That's all I can say.
Unfortunately it's not perfect.
Because this game does not have a epilogue.
Why it's a flaw you ask? Because for me. The epilogue, the celebration, the aftermath is one of the most important things in a story and this game does not do that unlike every ff game I had played. It ends ambiguous. I can see why people like it but for me every ff's epilogue parts are best ways to cap a story down. But I guess it's never meant to be... ಠ︵ಠ
Gameplay wise it's the game I wanted ff4 to be. Classes but with customizable skills/materias. It's actually ff6's Relic system but expanded exponentially. You don't learn a strong magic and called it a day like ff6. You customize and select whatever skills you need. But you can't go overboard like ff6 because you are limited of what you can select. Then the real part kicks in. You strategize and prepare beforehand. Make some people healers, some of them physical attackers, some of them supporters, some of them magicians etc. I really enjoyed this part of it.
But for some reason class specific skills turned to something called "limit breaks" that is one shot hard hitting last defence kinda skills. While I understand that they want to make it not spammable skills like ff6 did(ehm sabin super combo attack ehm), it was kinda disappointing for me because they take too long to kick in and when they don't, character differences gets lost. I don't know why they did it tbh for example a dragoon joined on our party. But not being able to "jump" command freely kinda disappointed me.
It looks like ff5 gameplay is still is superior to all.
But one super duper nice thing is other team members still can level up with getting 1/2 exp from the main party unlike ff6, also at least there is no forced create teams part(I mean there is but it's not forced) like ff6 bc Fu#kin piece of sh#t grinding it gave me for the last dungeon still in my nightmares.
Also this game requires no grinding as long as you have the necessary skill/materia. You can rush the story without fighting once in the overworld. Heck yeah. Tho, most of the bosses have so little health, I kinda wish more balanced bosses so I didn't kill them in 3 minutes including the finale boss.
Also this game have minigames. How many you ask? A modern yakuza amount I would say and I am not frickin kidding. Be it timing minigames to even submarine or motor riding minigame in it to play. It's damn insane that HOW MANY minigames in this game that somehow works in the little puny ps1. It's insane.
Oh also using fmv videos on the background while characters on the screen running around is one of the greatest ideas ever.
Anyway that's all for the gameplay. I liked it but I would prefer highly nerfed but openly usable class skills rather than limit breaks next time. But really enjoyed the customizable skill/materia system so it's more on the plus side.
So yeah that's Final Fantasy 7. A wonderful game that if you still have your child in you, you will still enjoy it full percent. Think it like the goofy but heartful adventure you watched countless times in cartoons but still wish to see it again and again. This is what final fantasy about after all. A story of a friendship that borns from an adventure.
And no I don't recommend starting from remake. I haven't played it but what I heard is story is not the same.
It's a game where one of the best journeys you can get and still is. A goofy one. A serious one. A sad one. A happy one.
A one big adventure that is.
I was expecting a overrated but fun game. But this game... This game managed to bring me the old lighthearted feelings back to me. I liked 4,5 and... first half of 6 but HOLY MOLY. Ff7 the Best one when it comes to the Journey yet for me.
To the point I even went as far as to get gold chocobo and take down Emerald weapon I was that committed to it (If you know you know).
When it comes to story, I wasn't expecting to get shocked because the spoilers everyone knows about. You know it. I know it. (Do not worry I am not gonna go into detail even if you don't know it)
But I was wrong. It shocked me it emotionally gripped me and kept me smiling with every conversation.
Story wise it's a bit messy to understand. But in it's core it's about two broken people. A person that wants revenge from the world and an another person that wants to take revenge from him. Sephiroth and Cloud. And just like that, both of them is the main characters of the story. Oh also, there is an another empire(it's called mega corp this time) to fight of course
But just like ff6, Empire are the Reason. Sephiroth is the Cause. And Cloud is the Solution.
And I loved that it's sticks to this to the end.
And side characters wise, they were fun. Are they the best side characters tho...? It's hard to say. There is a lot of good ones, Barret is awesome with a story of how a man can get angry to the point becoming a terrorist, Tifa and Aerith is awesome with their stories of coping with loss in their own way and seeing the romance blooming is just heartwarming, Cid is awesome with the story of a man can't let go of his past and turn into a rude as##ole but that's because how much he cares people around him even tho he sucks at showing it. There is also Turks, an opposite agent group that tries to takes us down but with every clash we slowly come to a respectable rivalry with them. There is Rufus, Big part of the Empire, even tho he is not much shown in the story, his sticking to his ambitions somehow manages to make him admirable(also I kinda wanted to see him more because of that even if he is a side character). There is also Cait Sith, he doesn't have a story arc like others but just for his clash with Barret and the argument of what is terrorism or not kinda made him good in my eyes.
There is also others... Vincent. Edgy word personified just like Shadow from ff6. Also Yuffie, same empty as Gau from ff6 but maybe with a little more personality. Shinra council members... Goofy but forgettable villains they are. Also Professor Hojo... The most despicable scientist there is... And couple more I forgot.
But when it comes to moments... This game really shines. Midgar plate event... The forgotten city... And the "Reunion". It's... Single-handedly enough to make this game better than all of my previous experiences. That's all I can say.
Unfortunately it's not perfect.
Because this game does not have a epilogue.
Why it's a flaw you ask? Because for me. The epilogue, the celebration, the aftermath is one of the most important things in a story and this game does not do that unlike every ff game I had played. It ends ambiguous. I can see why people like it but for me every ff's epilogue parts are best ways to cap a story down. But I guess it's never meant to be... ಠ︵ಠ
Gameplay wise it's the game I wanted ff4 to be. Classes but with customizable skills/materias. It's actually ff6's Relic system but expanded exponentially. You don't learn a strong magic and called it a day like ff6. You customize and select whatever skills you need. But you can't go overboard like ff6 because you are limited of what you can select. Then the real part kicks in. You strategize and prepare beforehand. Make some people healers, some of them physical attackers, some of them supporters, some of them magicians etc. I really enjoyed this part of it.
But for some reason class specific skills turned to something called "limit breaks" that is one shot hard hitting last defence kinda skills. While I understand that they want to make it not spammable skills like ff6 did(ehm sabin super combo attack ehm), it was kinda disappointing for me because they take too long to kick in and when they don't, character differences gets lost. I don't know why they did it tbh for example a dragoon joined on our party. But not being able to "jump" command freely kinda disappointed me.
It looks like ff5 gameplay is still is superior to all.
But one super duper nice thing is other team members still can level up with getting 1/2 exp from the main party unlike ff6, also at least there is no forced create teams part(I mean there is but it's not forced) like ff6 bc Fu#kin piece of sh#t grinding it gave me for the last dungeon still in my nightmares.
Also this game requires no grinding as long as you have the necessary skill/materia. You can rush the story without fighting once in the overworld. Heck yeah. Tho, most of the bosses have so little health, I kinda wish more balanced bosses so I didn't kill them in 3 minutes including the finale boss.
Also this game have minigames. How many you ask? A modern yakuza amount I would say and I am not frickin kidding. Be it timing minigames to even submarine or motor riding minigame in it to play. It's damn insane that HOW MANY minigames in this game that somehow works in the little puny ps1. It's insane.
Oh also using fmv videos on the background while characters on the screen running around is one of the greatest ideas ever.
Anyway that's all for the gameplay. I liked it but I would prefer highly nerfed but openly usable class skills rather than limit breaks next time. But really enjoyed the customizable skill/materia system so it's more on the plus side.
So yeah that's Final Fantasy 7. A wonderful game that if you still have your child in you, you will still enjoy it full percent. Think it like the goofy but heartful adventure you watched countless times in cartoons but still wish to see it again and again. This is what final fantasy about after all. A story of a friendship that borns from an adventure.
And no I don't recommend starting from remake. I haven't played it but what I heard is story is not the same.
The title is a lie, you die more than twice.
sitting at the top of a hill littered with 2010s western independent charmers with hamfisted attempts at satire, post-modernism, genre critique, societal reflection and subversive storytelling is this crown jewel; the crème de la crème example of the self-serving haughty pretentiousness of an entire generation of would-be internet geniuses scrolling through tv tropes page by page in hopes to form contrarian opinions on popular media based on the talking points and consensuses of other people. if you're of a certain age demographic, you know this person - the one who parrots the opinions of your nostalgic critics and mr. enters as if the information they siphoned by lazing about youtube in search of a personality might be enough to make someone go, 'geez, this guy KNOWS his stuff' without having to go through the effort of formulating their own thoughts, or even worse, having to experience the media they're responding to the response of firsthand.
doki doki literature club stands as an indulgence of saturated moe-era anime tropes under the guise of a critique of the wikipedia plot summaries of KEY, ryukishi07 and type-moon games without having the slightest bit of humility or self-awareness in its execution. it, its creator, and its audience herald itself as some massive deconstruction of the visual novel form, when in actuality it's about in line with the actuality of what it's criticizing as yiik is with jrpgs. there is no metatextual subversion to be had. doki doki is a children's birthday magician - a couple of flashy tricks capable of fooling someone who doesn't know how ren'py works, but beyond its cheap parlor tricks which might give the astute horror mastery of, say, happy tree friends a run for its money, the title lacks substance, it lacks any form of personality, and it lacks the competence to warrant these mistakes in the face of a greater picture or experience.
i won't even dip into the implications the creator has made about how this game is apparently a very real and serious approach to topics such as self-harm and abuse - as a survivor of both i find these claims bordering on insanity - but i will offer the benefit of a doubt and suggest that maybe this is a product of genuine, ineffable incompetence and misjudgment... rather than one of deep-rooted pretention and narcissism. you could get the exact same experience intersplicing five nights at freddy's jumpscare reaction videos, one of the upteenth saw sequels, and nyan neko sugar girls as one would have playing doki doki literature club, but at the least, the former is shocking, entertaining and funny when it intends to be. do your wallet a favor and pass on this one - and yes, i know it's free.
doki doki literature club stands as an indulgence of saturated moe-era anime tropes under the guise of a critique of the wikipedia plot summaries of KEY, ryukishi07 and type-moon games without having the slightest bit of humility or self-awareness in its execution. it, its creator, and its audience herald itself as some massive deconstruction of the visual novel form, when in actuality it's about in line with the actuality of what it's criticizing as yiik is with jrpgs. there is no metatextual subversion to be had. doki doki is a children's birthday magician - a couple of flashy tricks capable of fooling someone who doesn't know how ren'py works, but beyond its cheap parlor tricks which might give the astute horror mastery of, say, happy tree friends a run for its money, the title lacks substance, it lacks any form of personality, and it lacks the competence to warrant these mistakes in the face of a greater picture or experience.
i won't even dip into the implications the creator has made about how this game is apparently a very real and serious approach to topics such as self-harm and abuse - as a survivor of both i find these claims bordering on insanity - but i will offer the benefit of a doubt and suggest that maybe this is a product of genuine, ineffable incompetence and misjudgment... rather than one of deep-rooted pretention and narcissism. you could get the exact same experience intersplicing five nights at freddy's jumpscare reaction videos, one of the upteenth saw sequels, and nyan neko sugar girls as one would have playing doki doki literature club, but at the least, the former is shocking, entertaining and funny when it intends to be. do your wallet a favor and pass on this one - and yes, i know it's free.
(6-year-old's review, typed by her dad)
I met a goat guy 3 times. He had a long beard and I just felt weird.
[Dad's note: She had her tonsils out the same day TotK came out, so she was in a semi-delirious state when she insisted on reviewing the game. I was very impressed that she still managed to get through a couple shrines on her own!]
I met a goat guy 3 times. He had a long beard and I just felt weird.
[Dad's note: She had her tonsils out the same day TotK came out, so she was in a semi-delirious state when she insisted on reviewing the game. I was very impressed that she still managed to get through a couple shrines on her own!]
Vampire Survivors
2021
not morally egregious per se but rather a depressing culmination of a decade's worth of design trickery and (d)evolving cultural/social tastes and otherwise exists as insipid twitchcore autoplaying bullshit that should come with a contractual agreement binding its devotees to never speak prejudicially about mobile games or musou ever again lest they face legally enforced financial restitution. just play nex machina man. or watch NFL. been a fun season for that. fuck the review man let's talk sports in the comments
Vampire Survivors
2021
I have 50 hours in Vampire Survivors. I treat it like time machine. I use it to travel 30 minutes forward in time and feel nothing afterwards.
NieR: Automata
2017
"this game is deep and stuff bro, it says something about the human contidion" I utter as I furiously masturbate to 2B sfm porn
