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Wanted: Dead
2023
I appreciate a AA game with jank if the core gameplay is good and refined and a mess everywhere else but Wanted: Dead is a mess everywhere from top to bottom.
I can not even remotely see why some like this gameplay. It feels stiff and restrictive. There is little combo variety and feels like a complete chore to play. I love the idea of a character action game mixed with third person shooter gameplay but the game doesn't do any of these two elements well.
Guns seem to be the easiest way to dispatch enemies. The problem is that, the zoom in so so bad in that you can't even see what your aiming at as the game moves so fast. Then when i get the cursor to be where i want the damn auto aim refuses to let me move to aim for a headshot. Fine I'll turn it off. Now it's incredibly hard to just move the reticle as it either moves too fast or super slow. Then to top it off enemies take an insane amount of bullets to take down. Some will take over two damn clips. So you would think you would have a massive amount of ammo but i constantly ran out when leaning on the shooting side of combat. And this is just the shooting mechanics, the sword combat isn't any better.
When engaging in sword combat. You instinctly want to go in to the enemy and slash away. This is counter intuitive to Wanted: Dead wants you to play it. Enemies take many slashes to take down. Almost comical levels. What the game wants you to do is stand next to an enemy and wait for him to attack and then counter it with either your sword or handgun depending on the attack. Then the enemy will instantly stagger where you can kill them instantly. This isn't very exciting or satisfying to pull off. Even when I successfuly parry and land a stun the follow up will just not register my button press and I'll just stand there. I'm a person who loves counter heavy games like Onimusha or Sekiro but there is a balance to it which Wanted does not get. Regualar attacks in those games are not worthless. Also the whole time there are a million enemies that are constantly spray and praying bullets that make many encounters feel like the cheaply chip away at my health little by little without much i can do. If you pull of a finisher you can regain some chip damage health back but again, the game is forcing me to play in this one style. It's bad.
Speaking of bad this game is badly optimized. Wanted: Dead crashed on me constantly on my PS5. Granted the game auto saves on checkpoints but it still doen't excuse it. Plus the game is quite tough and checkpoints are rather spaced out so going back to a previous one becuase the game crashed sucks big time. It's not even a preformance things. Even with a ton of enemies and slowdown a peak preformance it doesn't crash. It seems to just crash entirely randomly. Like in a cutscene or when your just standing there. It's weird.
As for the story and presentation of the game it might be even jankier than the gameplay. The voice acting is bad, like holy shit this is worse than RE1 or house of the dead bad. Heck I said Daymare was bad this might be just as bad if not worse. I swear some scenes, acting and lines are so muted and stiff with little sense it feels like a scene out of samurai cop. The main character is so bad with a voice so deep and dead pan it doesn't jive with the character at all. Is this intentional? I don't know but it's not good and not in so bad it's good kinda way. It's like the line reads were all one take and no one wanted to be there.
Scenes come and go with what seems like no connection to each other. I can't even tell what I'm supposed to be doing in missions or what my damn goal even is. Then after a stage it's like it never happened and the game moves on to something else that has little context or meaning. There are so many pointless scenes that do nothing. Add nothing to the characters or what's going on. The game has a certain style to it I'll give it that but they do not pull it off in anyway whatsoever. Like for example sometimes the cutscens will shit to straight up animation for no reason. Like there was a animated scene of a character staring at a mirror and looking around a room for like a minute and then it cuts to something else completly unrelated with in game visuals. WTF why put the effort in, I just don't understand. I did not finish this game but from what I read it doesn't get any better. I remember before I bought this game there was this mini trailer/short movie about the waitress in the diner the characters go to and I thought it was pretty charming but context or even this scene isn't even in the game as far as i know and the character was only in like one scene for a brief moment. I just don't get it.
The game also has a bunch of side minigames you can play inbetween stages to break up the tedium of the combat. They are actually decent with games like a crane game full of collectibles, a space shooter arcade game, kareoke and target practice and so forth. The kinda feel good with a decent amount of effort put into them. I wouldn't play them ever outside the game but it does help brake the pace and set the mood it's going for. Side note though FUCK that ramen eating music ddr style minigame. That shit is so hard and you tie an achievment to it that you can't miss a single beat. Shit a song is like 6-7 min long and not easy. I could never do that and it's really annoying to me becuase even if I loved this game to tie a trophy to perfecting guitar hero on the hard mode when the gameplay of the main game is a whole different genre is extremely grating. Rant over.
I struggle real hard to see want some people say about this game. The game didn't get great reviews but there was a small minority that said this game was a hidden gem and had great combat and that to me is as baffling of a thing is as crazy as this game thinks it is but is not. To think this launched at 50 bucks lol.
I can not even remotely see why some like this gameplay. It feels stiff and restrictive. There is little combo variety and feels like a complete chore to play. I love the idea of a character action game mixed with third person shooter gameplay but the game doesn't do any of these two elements well.
Guns seem to be the easiest way to dispatch enemies. The problem is that, the zoom in so so bad in that you can't even see what your aiming at as the game moves so fast. Then when i get the cursor to be where i want the damn auto aim refuses to let me move to aim for a headshot. Fine I'll turn it off. Now it's incredibly hard to just move the reticle as it either moves too fast or super slow. Then to top it off enemies take an insane amount of bullets to take down. Some will take over two damn clips. So you would think you would have a massive amount of ammo but i constantly ran out when leaning on the shooting side of combat. And this is just the shooting mechanics, the sword combat isn't any better.
When engaging in sword combat. You instinctly want to go in to the enemy and slash away. This is counter intuitive to Wanted: Dead wants you to play it. Enemies take many slashes to take down. Almost comical levels. What the game wants you to do is stand next to an enemy and wait for him to attack and then counter it with either your sword or handgun depending on the attack. Then the enemy will instantly stagger where you can kill them instantly. This isn't very exciting or satisfying to pull off. Even when I successfuly parry and land a stun the follow up will just not register my button press and I'll just stand there. I'm a person who loves counter heavy games like Onimusha or Sekiro but there is a balance to it which Wanted does not get. Regualar attacks in those games are not worthless. Also the whole time there are a million enemies that are constantly spray and praying bullets that make many encounters feel like the cheaply chip away at my health little by little without much i can do. If you pull of a finisher you can regain some chip damage health back but again, the game is forcing me to play in this one style. It's bad.
Speaking of bad this game is badly optimized. Wanted: Dead crashed on me constantly on my PS5. Granted the game auto saves on checkpoints but it still doen't excuse it. Plus the game is quite tough and checkpoints are rather spaced out so going back to a previous one becuase the game crashed sucks big time. It's not even a preformance things. Even with a ton of enemies and slowdown a peak preformance it doesn't crash. It seems to just crash entirely randomly. Like in a cutscene or when your just standing there. It's weird.
As for the story and presentation of the game it might be even jankier than the gameplay. The voice acting is bad, like holy shit this is worse than RE1 or house of the dead bad. Heck I said Daymare was bad this might be just as bad if not worse. I swear some scenes, acting and lines are so muted and stiff with little sense it feels like a scene out of samurai cop. The main character is so bad with a voice so deep and dead pan it doesn't jive with the character at all. Is this intentional? I don't know but it's not good and not in so bad it's good kinda way. It's like the line reads were all one take and no one wanted to be there.
Scenes come and go with what seems like no connection to each other. I can't even tell what I'm supposed to be doing in missions or what my damn goal even is. Then after a stage it's like it never happened and the game moves on to something else that has little context or meaning. There are so many pointless scenes that do nothing. Add nothing to the characters or what's going on. The game has a certain style to it I'll give it that but they do not pull it off in anyway whatsoever. Like for example sometimes the cutscens will shit to straight up animation for no reason. Like there was a animated scene of a character staring at a mirror and looking around a room for like a minute and then it cuts to something else completly unrelated with in game visuals. WTF why put the effort in, I just don't understand. I did not finish this game but from what I read it doesn't get any better. I remember before I bought this game there was this mini trailer/short movie about the waitress in the diner the characters go to and I thought it was pretty charming but context or even this scene isn't even in the game as far as i know and the character was only in like one scene for a brief moment. I just don't get it.
The game also has a bunch of side minigames you can play inbetween stages to break up the tedium of the combat. They are actually decent with games like a crane game full of collectibles, a space shooter arcade game, kareoke and target practice and so forth. The kinda feel good with a decent amount of effort put into them. I wouldn't play them ever outside the game but it does help brake the pace and set the mood it's going for. Side note though FUCK that ramen eating music ddr style minigame. That shit is so hard and you tie an achievment to it that you can't miss a single beat. Shit a song is like 6-7 min long and not easy. I could never do that and it's really annoying to me becuase even if I loved this game to tie a trophy to perfecting guitar hero on the hard mode when the gameplay of the main game is a whole different genre is extremely grating. Rant over.
I struggle real hard to see want some people say about this game. The game didn't get great reviews but there was a small minority that said this game was a hidden gem and had great combat and that to me is as baffling of a thing is as crazy as this game thinks it is but is not. To think this launched at 50 bucks lol.
Sea of Stars
2023
Platinum trophy earned. Sea of Stars is a gorgeous, stylish and satisfying tribute to RPG classics in the vein of Chrono Trigger, succeeding handsomely against that lofty aim. Its incredible pixelart immediately draws the eye, but beyond the surface level there's a well-developed world to explore, with an enjoyable story told through expressive characters who you can't help but come to love. Gameplay is relatively simple, based around turn-based battles with a typical resistance/vulnerability mechanic, but particularly enhanced by a novel approach to breaking enemy attacks through appropriate combinations of elemental effects. There's a certain satisfaction to be gleaned from devising attack patterns to meet seemingly intractable requirements, even if this never gets overly complex and, for example, there's a lack of any real buffs system that could greatly expand the tactical possibilities. I didn't really catch any of the references to Sabotage Studio's previous game, The Messenger, though I know that they're in there, and this is a second hit from them in my eyes.
Sea of Stars
2023
This is an awesome realization of the classic SNES RPG. It's been modernized in all the right ways with stunning art and sweeping music. Its gameplay has the hooks of a classic RPG with some modern tweaks to make it enjoyable no matter the enemy. The timing attacks really encouraged me to stay engaged with combat, it never devolved into simply mashing the attack button. All of its other small mechanics, like revives happening after a number of turns and the option to enhance any move both help to make combat a breeze and add additional strategic layers. All that said, I found the story and main characters to be a bit corny. It felt like pacing was all over the place and I was left with a number of unanswered questions. The main characters were almost lifeless with how little characterization they had, but the supporting cast often made up for this flaw. Sea of Stars is the closest any game has come to Chrono Trigger, even in spite of its weaker elements, so it will certainly be a game that I remember fondly.
Sea of Stars
2023
I'll lead off with this: I truly did enjoy Sea of Stars. Sabotage Studios put together a competent, downright gorgeous RPG on a dime, an incredible feat in itself for a studio whose prior project was very much detached from the genre.
In some ways, their history is pretty clear -- SoS doesn't do a ton of innovating in its 25-ish hour runtime -- but it still shows a pretty solid understanding of the building blocks of the classical console RPG in its execution. Combat is crispy and encounters run pretty quick (despite the lack of a 'flee' option), exploration is an easy highlight punctuated by how free-flowing traversal is, and its soundtrack has some great earworms and guest tracks from industry legend Yasunori Mitsuda to boot. For the most part, the gameplay loop is also paced pretty well -- dungeons and zones never really run on for too long and there's a solid mix of puzzles and fights to keep players engaged. Some fights even feel like puzzles, thanks to the "locks" system (players can interrupt the occasional enemy action by breaking a series of locks a la Octopath Traveler), combo attacks, and turn delays.
Sea undeniably feels pretty good to play from moment to moment, but the general long haul vibe of an RPG sometimes works to its detriment. There is very little out-of-battle character building to focus on, minimal customization (toggleable relics and some accessories slightly modify how the game is played), and the full party's individual skills cap out at a paltry 4 each, including an ultimate ability that very rarely gets used outside of boss fights. These particular points might leave more seasoned RPG enjoyers left wanting, and at times I did feel like the cycle of [collect new stat stick -> level up a couple times -> use the same moves to clear trash mobs] wore on me, but I can definitely see it all working well as a surface-level examination of the genre.
That said, surface-level is a pretty common feeling throughout; Sabotage's latest ticks a bunch of the boxes that I think made some of those classic adventures charming, but with a bit less gameplay grit and an English script that could've used another editing pass and some grammatical polish. There are still surprises sprinkled across Zale and Valere's journey to become guardians of their world, and I did find some moments genuinely affecting, but too often does Sea fumble about trying to get its cast moving along to the next major story beat. For better or worse, though, most of this happens in the early hours -- once the 4th party member joins, a couple new layers of intrigue get added to the plot and some of the less enjoyable main-side-quest aspects start washing away. A sequence around the midpoint of the game in particular was pretty spectacular.
Ultimately, I think Sea of Stars is quite memorable, for both its triumphs and its shortfalls -- as a highly successful kickstarter project it already had some big shoes to fill -- but I could definitely see myself recommending it to folks who are looking for something with a few modern touches that isn't overly complex. There's a demo available that I think does a pretty good job of showing off the overall vibe, so give it a look if you're interested.
In some ways, their history is pretty clear -- SoS doesn't do a ton of innovating in its 25-ish hour runtime -- but it still shows a pretty solid understanding of the building blocks of the classical console RPG in its execution. Combat is crispy and encounters run pretty quick (despite the lack of a 'flee' option), exploration is an easy highlight punctuated by how free-flowing traversal is, and its soundtrack has some great earworms and guest tracks from industry legend Yasunori Mitsuda to boot. For the most part, the gameplay loop is also paced pretty well -- dungeons and zones never really run on for too long and there's a solid mix of puzzles and fights to keep players engaged. Some fights even feel like puzzles, thanks to the "locks" system (players can interrupt the occasional enemy action by breaking a series of locks a la Octopath Traveler), combo attacks, and turn delays.
Sea undeniably feels pretty good to play from moment to moment, but the general long haul vibe of an RPG sometimes works to its detriment. There is very little out-of-battle character building to focus on, minimal customization (toggleable relics and some accessories slightly modify how the game is played), and the full party's individual skills cap out at a paltry 4 each, including an ultimate ability that very rarely gets used outside of boss fights. These particular points might leave more seasoned RPG enjoyers left wanting, and at times I did feel like the cycle of [collect new stat stick -> level up a couple times -> use the same moves to clear trash mobs] wore on me, but I can definitely see it all working well as a surface-level examination of the genre.
That said, surface-level is a pretty common feeling throughout; Sabotage's latest ticks a bunch of the boxes that I think made some of those classic adventures charming, but with a bit less gameplay grit and an English script that could've used another editing pass and some grammatical polish. There are still surprises sprinkled across Zale and Valere's journey to become guardians of their world, and I did find some moments genuinely affecting, but too often does Sea fumble about trying to get its cast moving along to the next major story beat. For better or worse, though, most of this happens in the early hours -- once the 4th party member joins, a couple new layers of intrigue get added to the plot and some of the less enjoyable main-side-quest aspects start washing away. A sequence around the midpoint of the game in particular was pretty spectacular.
Ultimately, I think Sea of Stars is quite memorable, for both its triumphs and its shortfalls -- as a highly successful kickstarter project it already had some big shoes to fill -- but I could definitely see myself recommending it to folks who are looking for something with a few modern touches that isn't overly complex. There's a demo available that I think does a pretty good job of showing off the overall vibe, so give it a look if you're interested.
Has an interesting gimmick and some nice music scattered around but it's countered with being uneventful and having bad sfx. There are countless instances of just pure empty space for upwards of 30 seconds, and as a result it just makes the whole product feel kind of half-baked. Quite mediocre overall, but there's potential for something better.
Word of advice, do not bring the 3-way spread shooting cyborg (supposedly named Mars) to the penultimate boss. Its shots don't go on past the boss' shields and then that shit becomes a herculean task.
Word of advice, do not bring the 3-way spread shooting cyborg (supposedly named Mars) to the penultimate boss. Its shots don't go on past the boss' shields and then that shit becomes a herculean task.
It seems that much like The Terminator on SNES, Terminator 2 on SNES is also lumped in with a different game on IGDB. This review is for the Bits Studios game, whereas the SNES port of the arcade version was released as T2: The Arcade Game.
This is probably one of the worst to ever do it. One of those games so half-assed and obscenely unfun that it makes you wonder how it got released in the state it's in, but unfortunately as we've previously learned from Bits Studios' other titles such as Wolverine: Adamantium Rage and GunForce, this is kind of just a thing they had a knack for.
Gameplay alternates between sidescrolling kinda-sorta-run-and-gun levels and driving segments in between. The driving in particular is just hateful, even with a grasp of how it works (which I only gained about a minute before I was ready to ditch the game entirely) it is still dreadfully unresponsive and unintuitive. Sometimes the directions provided aren't even helpful, so I had to follow a video verbatim each time a driving segment began, constantly tabbing in and out of the game. Sidescrolling sections really don't fare much better, with the T-800's leisurely pace and near inability to jump combined with unending swarms of enemies and a couple of escort missions.
Up until the final level, there are merely two indistinguishable songs during the whole game. I can't even begin to understand this. Maybe you'd expect a gripe of the same sort with a basic puzzle game, but an action game with 8 stages? Did they run out of time? Were they too lazy to compose more songs?
Despite joking around about it in the previous review, I figured from the start that this would be a weaker effort than Gray Matter's Terminator game on the console. I did not figure it would be this much weaker. Very plausibly in the bottom 5 of all games I've completed, though I've never taken the time to rank them like that. Despite what my profile and rating curve on here might indicate, I do in fact prefer to ruminate more on things that are cool and things that are good.
This is probably one of the worst to ever do it. One of those games so half-assed and obscenely unfun that it makes you wonder how it got released in the state it's in, but unfortunately as we've previously learned from Bits Studios' other titles such as Wolverine: Adamantium Rage and GunForce, this is kind of just a thing they had a knack for.
Gameplay alternates between sidescrolling kinda-sorta-run-and-gun levels and driving segments in between. The driving in particular is just hateful, even with a grasp of how it works (which I only gained about a minute before I was ready to ditch the game entirely) it is still dreadfully unresponsive and unintuitive. Sometimes the directions provided aren't even helpful, so I had to follow a video verbatim each time a driving segment began, constantly tabbing in and out of the game. Sidescrolling sections really don't fare much better, with the T-800's leisurely pace and near inability to jump combined with unending swarms of enemies and a couple of escort missions.
Up until the final level, there are merely two indistinguishable songs during the whole game. I can't even begin to understand this. Maybe you'd expect a gripe of the same sort with a basic puzzle game, but an action game with 8 stages? Did they run out of time? Were they too lazy to compose more songs?
Despite joking around about it in the previous review, I figured from the start that this would be a weaker effort than Gray Matter's Terminator game on the console. I did not figure it would be this much weaker. Very plausibly in the bottom 5 of all games I've completed, though I've never taken the time to rank them like that. Despite what my profile and rating curve on here might indicate, I do in fact prefer to ruminate more on things that are cool and things that are good.
Lethal Company
2023
"Hey guys, I found this new game that's sooooo funny. We need to play this as a group!" - My friends, before showing me the most boring, shallow "horror" co-op gaming experience whose memetic qualities have turned it into a sleeper hit amongst people with turbo brainrot.
This review contains spoilers
I often think about how much Square's 2005 Final Fantasy VII tech demo cursed the company to a decade of fans groveling at their feet for a remake, something that prior to that demo was not really talked about all that much. At least not at such a scale, or to the point that every E3 came with people joking about its supposed appearance or lack thereof, something that Metroid Prime 4 has more or less embodied today. Repeated attempts to quell fans and explain in no uncertain terms that it was just a demo did little quiet the discussion, and Square eventually changed tact and asserted a remake would not be possible unless it could top the original, a proposition they framed as being so risky and improbable that it'd just kill the company.
While selling IPs for pennies on the dollar to invest in NFTs right before a market crash, an insider trading scandal, and flops like Forspoken have put Square in a bad position, they've been able to weather these hits and stave off total ruin. For now, at least. Modern game development is fucked. It's so fucked that Final Fantasy VII Remake is a project Square is now willing to take a chance on, but it is only sustainable as three separate projects aiming to cover the entirety of what was a 40 hour mid-90s video game. It is not simply a matter of being able to top the original creatively and financially, it's replicating a game from an era where less got you more in a time where more means less.
And in a lot of ways, Remake both succeeds and fails at this. All the key beats are here, like storming the Mako reactor, the Sector 7 plate falling, the high speed motorcycle chase out of Midgar and into the wide open plains of Gaia... But what was originally a three to five hour segment of a much larger game has now been pulled like rubber, stretched so thin it is nearly transparent to suit a full gameplay experience. Midgar is a big place, you simply cannot invest in the amount of assets needed to portray it in the modern day and have enough time and budget left to design a whole open world and numerous dungeons and towns with their own bespoke aesthetics, and the cost is that Remake at times feels bloated.
Portions of the original that took mere minutes are now elongated into full chapters, like the Sector 5 underpass, which has mutated into a dungeon the player must traverse several times. Pre-existing dungeons like Shinra HQ are so massive that they have a tendency to overstay their welcome, and moments of urgency in the story are broken up with prolonged periods of downtime that adversely affect the pacing.
Square has had a real side quest problem for a while now. They often feel dry and inorganic, presented as checklists of things to do rather than being an obscure but natural part of a larger, living world. Though they are not mandatory, they're often presented in a way that feels it, a nagging green icon and the promise of a reward too good to pass up if only you're willing to put in some work. Aerith is probably being dissected (or worse) by Hojo but uh, I gotta run this Uber Eats order to Chocobo Sam.
This is something I hope Rebirth will address by covering a comparatively much larger portion of the original's story. I also hope it further explores Remake's most interesting aspect, which is it's almost Cabin in the Woods-like meta narrative about being a remake.
I often see people complain when a remake deviates from the source material, but provided the original is still readily available - as is the case with Final Fantasy VII - then the idea of a 1:1 remake becomes profoundly boring to me. A reverence for and understanding of the original is of course necessary, but I'd prefer a remake actually say something new rather than be a straight retread. And so Remake to me is perfectly titled, not just in how it embodies being a remake as a product but by exploring how self-aware characters are attempting to remake their own story.
Sephiroth has apparently already lived the events of Final Fantasy VII, and spends much of this game coercing Cloud as he had in the original, using him a puppet and setting him against the fates so that hey may break causality. This doesn't just benefit Sephiroth by helping him avoid eating shit in the Northern Crater a second time, it also presents Cloud and his company the opportunity to fight him without facing the same consequences they did the last time, even if they may not be as acutely aware of what those consequences are.
Except for Aerith, who subtly displays her own level of awareness for the original timeline, knowing people's names before they're given and generally displaying a level of precognition over minor aspects of her world that seem unimportant on a surface level but nevertheless betray her placement in Remake's continuity. For her, the opportunity to defy destiny is a decision made with considerably less confidence as she knows what her sacrifice accomplishes.
Naturally, the fates, or "whispers" as they're known, physically intervene when events begin to deviate. Wedge survives plate fall, so that fucker's gotta get thrown out a window. Hojo nearly spoils Cloud on the reveal that he's not a member of SOLDIER, so he gets whisked away while going "Ohhhh my, how faaaascinating~" like a weird like freak. In a way, the whispers represent the very boring fans that want Final Fantasy VII but more prettier, who dislike any chance taken with the material and will react violently when presented with something different. For Square to move past the baggage of FFVII, they too must destroy the expectations placed upon them and venture into uncharted territory.
Suffice it to say, I'm pretty happy with these creative choices and found myself far more invested in Remake because of them. It's a good counterbalance to all the bloat and actually left me interested enough to push through some of Remake's more tedious lows just to see where everything was going.
On the more mechanical end, Remake is pretty solid. A complaint I had about of the original is that characters largely felt the same despite ostensibly slotting into traditional job classes, with the key differentiating factor being what materia was equipped to them. Conversely, Remake provides each party member their own play style, and it adds a lot of diversity to combat. The materia system remains largely unaltered, serving as a sort of common point between the games to keep players grounded early on, while the new take on the ATB system feels like a near perfect answer to Final Fantasy moving away from turn-based gameplay.
I think Remake also deserves a lot of praise for how well it translates the visual design of the original. There's an alternate reality out there where this game was made for the PS3 and adopted a more grounded aesthetic akin to Advant Children, and thank god I don't live in it. I also adore the soundtrack. Subtle things like making sure the bits of metallic percussion in the battle theme are still there, the incorporation of the Shinra theme in Crazy Motorcycle Chase adding a nice narrative tie, or just my own Pavlovian conditioning resulting in me getting hyped as hell anytime J-E-N-O-V-A starts playing... it's good stuff.
Final Fantasy VII Remake would not exist were it not for that tech demo, and I don't mean that to say the possibility of a remake wasn't there until E3 2005. Rather, its themes are a direct response to the albatross that hung from Square's neck in the decade following. What artistic value would there be in doing a by-the-numbers remake, going through the motions from start to finish? It'd make a lot of people happy, sure, but I can't imagine it being anything other than bloodless.
While selling IPs for pennies on the dollar to invest in NFTs right before a market crash, an insider trading scandal, and flops like Forspoken have put Square in a bad position, they've been able to weather these hits and stave off total ruin. For now, at least. Modern game development is fucked. It's so fucked that Final Fantasy VII Remake is a project Square is now willing to take a chance on, but it is only sustainable as three separate projects aiming to cover the entirety of what was a 40 hour mid-90s video game. It is not simply a matter of being able to top the original creatively and financially, it's replicating a game from an era where less got you more in a time where more means less.
And in a lot of ways, Remake both succeeds and fails at this. All the key beats are here, like storming the Mako reactor, the Sector 7 plate falling, the high speed motorcycle chase out of Midgar and into the wide open plains of Gaia... But what was originally a three to five hour segment of a much larger game has now been pulled like rubber, stretched so thin it is nearly transparent to suit a full gameplay experience. Midgar is a big place, you simply cannot invest in the amount of assets needed to portray it in the modern day and have enough time and budget left to design a whole open world and numerous dungeons and towns with their own bespoke aesthetics, and the cost is that Remake at times feels bloated.
Portions of the original that took mere minutes are now elongated into full chapters, like the Sector 5 underpass, which has mutated into a dungeon the player must traverse several times. Pre-existing dungeons like Shinra HQ are so massive that they have a tendency to overstay their welcome, and moments of urgency in the story are broken up with prolonged periods of downtime that adversely affect the pacing.
Square has had a real side quest problem for a while now. They often feel dry and inorganic, presented as checklists of things to do rather than being an obscure but natural part of a larger, living world. Though they are not mandatory, they're often presented in a way that feels it, a nagging green icon and the promise of a reward too good to pass up if only you're willing to put in some work. Aerith is probably being dissected (or worse) by Hojo but uh, I gotta run this Uber Eats order to Chocobo Sam.
This is something I hope Rebirth will address by covering a comparatively much larger portion of the original's story. I also hope it further explores Remake's most interesting aspect, which is it's almost Cabin in the Woods-like meta narrative about being a remake.
I often see people complain when a remake deviates from the source material, but provided the original is still readily available - as is the case with Final Fantasy VII - then the idea of a 1:1 remake becomes profoundly boring to me. A reverence for and understanding of the original is of course necessary, but I'd prefer a remake actually say something new rather than be a straight retread. And so Remake to me is perfectly titled, not just in how it embodies being a remake as a product but by exploring how self-aware characters are attempting to remake their own story.
Sephiroth has apparently already lived the events of Final Fantasy VII, and spends much of this game coercing Cloud as he had in the original, using him a puppet and setting him against the fates so that hey may break causality. This doesn't just benefit Sephiroth by helping him avoid eating shit in the Northern Crater a second time, it also presents Cloud and his company the opportunity to fight him without facing the same consequences they did the last time, even if they may not be as acutely aware of what those consequences are.
Except for Aerith, who subtly displays her own level of awareness for the original timeline, knowing people's names before they're given and generally displaying a level of precognition over minor aspects of her world that seem unimportant on a surface level but nevertheless betray her placement in Remake's continuity. For her, the opportunity to defy destiny is a decision made with considerably less confidence as she knows what her sacrifice accomplishes.
Naturally, the fates, or "whispers" as they're known, physically intervene when events begin to deviate. Wedge survives plate fall, so that fucker's gotta get thrown out a window. Hojo nearly spoils Cloud on the reveal that he's not a member of SOLDIER, so he gets whisked away while going "Ohhhh my, how faaaascinating~" like a weird like freak. In a way, the whispers represent the very boring fans that want Final Fantasy VII but more prettier, who dislike any chance taken with the material and will react violently when presented with something different. For Square to move past the baggage of FFVII, they too must destroy the expectations placed upon them and venture into uncharted territory.
Suffice it to say, I'm pretty happy with these creative choices and found myself far more invested in Remake because of them. It's a good counterbalance to all the bloat and actually left me interested enough to push through some of Remake's more tedious lows just to see where everything was going.
On the more mechanical end, Remake is pretty solid. A complaint I had about of the original is that characters largely felt the same despite ostensibly slotting into traditional job classes, with the key differentiating factor being what materia was equipped to them. Conversely, Remake provides each party member their own play style, and it adds a lot of diversity to combat. The materia system remains largely unaltered, serving as a sort of common point between the games to keep players grounded early on, while the new take on the ATB system feels like a near perfect answer to Final Fantasy moving away from turn-based gameplay.
I think Remake also deserves a lot of praise for how well it translates the visual design of the original. There's an alternate reality out there where this game was made for the PS3 and adopted a more grounded aesthetic akin to Advant Children, and thank god I don't live in it. I also adore the soundtrack. Subtle things like making sure the bits of metallic percussion in the battle theme are still there, the incorporation of the Shinra theme in Crazy Motorcycle Chase adding a nice narrative tie, or just my own Pavlovian conditioning resulting in me getting hyped as hell anytime J-E-N-O-V-A starts playing... it's good stuff.
Final Fantasy VII Remake would not exist were it not for that tech demo, and I don't mean that to say the possibility of a remake wasn't there until E3 2005. Rather, its themes are a direct response to the albatross that hung from Square's neck in the decade following. What artistic value would there be in doing a by-the-numbers remake, going through the motions from start to finish? It'd make a lot of people happy, sure, but I can't imagine it being anything other than bloodless.
Super Mario Bros. is part of my DNA. It's a Backloggd cliche to begin a review with an assertion that a multimedia franchise is a fundamental component of your soul, but I think it's worth prefacing this review with the knowledge that my first introduction to the concept of "video games" was playing Super Mario Bros. 2 on a black-and-white TV barely connected by exposed tin wire to a NES that had been confiscated from my dad's friend's deadbeat stoner son; I was electrified (both literally and figuratively) from the moment I first entered Subspace, and Mario and his posse have been a regular feature in my life ever since. Just recently my brother and I went to see The Super Mario Bros. Movie, and the first thing we talked about afterward was that it was cool that they kept the biddybuds walk cycle true to the games. That doesn't happen unless a Super Mario has fundamentally rearranged the genetic code you share.
Wonder’s greatest delight is its history, and in many ways, it’s the Ultimate entry in the 2D Mario series. Nothing is overtly categorised or labeled as it is in Smash Bros., but it’s all there for us, the fans, to see; at least a half-dozen character/istics from each prior entry make an appearance, and they often elicit the same brain tingles as my precious biddybud-based ASMR at the cinema last year. That’s a special sort of feeling that you can’t wrap in a Backloggd cliche, but basically what I’m trying to say here is that I pogged the fuck out when I got the Wonder Seed in High-Voltage Gauntlet.
The subtle art of referencing is not lost here, despite the relegation of Mario’s makers to “supervising director” roles in the credits (this children’s toy is an incredibly classy affair!). Like Ultimate, though, I think Wonder’s biggest strength is also the cause of an identity crisis - this is a buffet of all the other Mario games (and Rayman Legends) with no distinct flavour beyond talking to tiny caterpillars at great length about statecraft. Despite the intentionality of the hijinks, game mechanics, visuals and music are majority non-distinct, and the aforementioned Metal Mario sample only serves to highlight how little else the game has to offer of its own self beyond genteel appeals to the part of my hippocampus that remembers one particular kind of jump from Super Mario Bros. 2.
In Francis Fukuyama's The End of History and the Last Man, Fukuyama argues that with the end of the Cold War and the collapse of communism, humanity has reached the end point of ideological evolution. He suggests that liberal democracy, emphasizing individual rights, political pluralism, and free-market capitalism, represents the ultimate form of government and is the culmination of the ideological struggles that have characterised history.¹
The key message of the book² is that liberal democracy, as exemplified by Western societies, represents the endpoint of humanity's sociocultural evolution and that further developments in the political and economic realms are unlikely to result in a fundamentally different or superior system. Fukuyama contends that liberal democracy has triumphed over other ideologies, such as fascism and communism, and has become the universally accepted political and economic organisation model.
In 2024, Nintendo Co., Ltd.’s resounding triumph over its former rivals potentially represents the endpoint of Super Mario’s sociocultural evolution. What Super Mario Bros. Wonder proves to us is that developments in the realm of Super Mario Bros.-based gameplay are unlikely to result in a fundamentally different or superior video game. I contend that Super Mario has triumphed over his former foes, such as Sonic and Zool, and has become the universally accepted model for jumping on turtles.
Fuck it, at least they added a grappling hook.
-----
¹ Don’t worry. I haven’t read this book or even checked its Wikipedia synopsis. I was too busy collecting all the bonus Wonder Seeds in Super Mario Bros. Wonder.
² A book is a physical publication that consists of pages containing written or printed material, usually bound together along one edge. Books can cover a wide range of topics and genres, including fiction, non-fiction, poetry, reference, and more. They serve as a medium for conveying information, storytelling, and expressing ideas. Traditional books are typically made of paper, with ink or other printing methods used to display text and images.
-----
(Also the co-op mode is one hundred times more oppressive than New Super Mario Bros. and almost lead to my wedding getting cancelled, thanks Nintendo)
Wonder’s greatest delight is its history, and in many ways, it’s the Ultimate entry in the 2D Mario series. Nothing is overtly categorised or labeled as it is in Smash Bros., but it’s all there for us, the fans, to see; at least a half-dozen character/istics from each prior entry make an appearance, and they often elicit the same brain tingles as my precious biddybud-based ASMR at the cinema last year. That’s a special sort of feeling that you can’t wrap in a Backloggd cliche, but basically what I’m trying to say here is that I pogged the fuck out when I got the Wonder Seed in High-Voltage Gauntlet.
The subtle art of referencing is not lost here, despite the relegation of Mario’s makers to “supervising director” roles in the credits (this children’s toy is an incredibly classy affair!). Like Ultimate, though, I think Wonder’s biggest strength is also the cause of an identity crisis - this is a buffet of all the other Mario games (and Rayman Legends) with no distinct flavour beyond talking to tiny caterpillars at great length about statecraft. Despite the intentionality of the hijinks, game mechanics, visuals and music are majority non-distinct, and the aforementioned Metal Mario sample only serves to highlight how little else the game has to offer of its own self beyond genteel appeals to the part of my hippocampus that remembers one particular kind of jump from Super Mario Bros. 2.
In Francis Fukuyama's The End of History and the Last Man, Fukuyama argues that with the end of the Cold War and the collapse of communism, humanity has reached the end point of ideological evolution. He suggests that liberal democracy, emphasizing individual rights, political pluralism, and free-market capitalism, represents the ultimate form of government and is the culmination of the ideological struggles that have characterised history.¹
The key message of the book² is that liberal democracy, as exemplified by Western societies, represents the endpoint of humanity's sociocultural evolution and that further developments in the political and economic realms are unlikely to result in a fundamentally different or superior system. Fukuyama contends that liberal democracy has triumphed over other ideologies, such as fascism and communism, and has become the universally accepted political and economic organisation model.
In 2024, Nintendo Co., Ltd.’s resounding triumph over its former rivals potentially represents the endpoint of Super Mario’s sociocultural evolution. What Super Mario Bros. Wonder proves to us is that developments in the realm of Super Mario Bros.-based gameplay are unlikely to result in a fundamentally different or superior video game. I contend that Super Mario has triumphed over his former foes, such as Sonic and Zool, and has become the universally accepted model for jumping on turtles.
Fuck it, at least they added a grappling hook.
-----
¹ Don’t worry. I haven’t read this book or even checked its Wikipedia synopsis. I was too busy collecting all the bonus Wonder Seeds in Super Mario Bros. Wonder.
² A book is a physical publication that consists of pages containing written or printed material, usually bound together along one edge. Books can cover a wide range of topics and genres, including fiction, non-fiction, poetry, reference, and more. They serve as a medium for conveying information, storytelling, and expressing ideas. Traditional books are typically made of paper, with ink or other printing methods used to display text and images.
-----
(Also the co-op mode is one hundred times more oppressive than New Super Mario Bros. and almost lead to my wedding getting cancelled, thanks Nintendo)
Suika Game
2021
Wife’s Reaction:
“DON’T PUT THAT FRUIT THERE!”
When Life Gives You Lemons...:
You play enough of a game to get one more in for the year! Suika Game is that type of game you can easily lose time with, which is what I did every time I said “one more game.” Its fruit evolution is easy to understand and the fruit physics both excite and frustrate as a chain reaction can save you from a near game over or bumping up against other fruit messes up big plans.
“DON’T PUT THAT FRUIT THERE!”
When Life Gives You Lemons...:
You play enough of a game to get one more in for the year! Suika Game is that type of game you can easily lose time with, which is what I did every time I said “one more game.” Its fruit evolution is easy to understand and the fruit physics both excite and frustrate as a chain reaction can save you from a near game over or bumping up against other fruit messes up big plans.
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