YourDadReviews
1993
Where’s the fuckable Fox? What’s her name again? Crystal? That’s definitely a prostitute name.
2011
I am the real life Johnny Cage… minus the money, and the hot wife who isn’t dead, and the house… and the freedom.
2019
I’m tripping fucking balls right now, god motherfucking damn.
2012
Journal Entry 75
It’s July 23rd, 2021.
I’ve started moving upward to South Carolina. The process hasn’t been so great. I ran into several moonshine camps, and uh… they weren’t so happy that I “sampled” their merchandise.
They fired multiple slug rounds towards me, but I managed to dodge them with my super cool Navy Seal skills. I was definitely a Navy Seal. I also totally don’t have a bullet wound in my left calf right now, totally don’t.
In these trying times I just sing to myself the most important tune I’ve ever heard in my life.
I’m Solo, I’m Han Solo, I’m Han Solo, I’m Han Solo.
Fuck, I wish I was Harrison Ford. I’d take a thousand helicopter crashes over running from the cops any day.
It’s July 23rd, 2021.
I’ve started moving upward to South Carolina. The process hasn’t been so great. I ran into several moonshine camps, and uh… they weren’t so happy that I “sampled” their merchandise.
They fired multiple slug rounds towards me, but I managed to dodge them with my super cool Navy Seal skills. I was definitely a Navy Seal. I also totally don’t have a bullet wound in my left calf right now, totally don’t.
In these trying times I just sing to myself the most important tune I’ve ever heard in my life.
I’m Solo, I’m Han Solo, I’m Han Solo, I’m Han Solo.
Fuck, I wish I was Harrison Ford. I’d take a thousand helicopter crashes over running from the cops any day.
1992
This review contains spoilers
Galuf was such a bro, why’d he have to die like my Pops. Couldn’t Bartz and the others just pour some gasoline on that Exdeath motherfucker! He’s a fucking tree! Fuck man, I’ve never cried this much over a bro before.
Maybe death really does have consequences.
Maybe death really does have consequences.
2002
Shantae is hot as fuck… but also underage. The rule of Dad states: If she’s too young to drink, she’s too young for the dink.
God, swamp water smells so bad.
God, swamp water smells so bad.
1996
Journal 71
It’s the 21st of July, I’ve been hiding from the feds for over the past week now. I see constant news on my murdering of my ex wife and her husband. Damn bitch always was more trouble than she was worth.
I’m currently in a swamp in Northern Georgia, the Alligators here are some wild fuckers, one almost chomped off my dick earlier this morning.
Mario Kart 64, I’m thinking about it now… If only a Blue Shell could be in my hands so I could blow those copper fucks to kingdom come. Fuck… I knew I shouldn’t have had a son. If I had known that it would’ve come to this, I wouldn’t have murdered all those guys in Cleveland.
It’s the 21st of July, I’ve been hiding from the feds for over the past week now. I see constant news on my murdering of my ex wife and her husband. Damn bitch always was more trouble than she was worth.
I’m currently in a swamp in Northern Georgia, the Alligators here are some wild fuckers, one almost chomped off my dick earlier this morning.
Mario Kart 64, I’m thinking about it now… If only a Blue Shell could be in my hands so I could blow those copper fucks to kingdom come. Fuck… I knew I shouldn’t have had a son. If I had known that it would’ve come to this, I wouldn’t have murdered all those guys in Cleveland.
2011
If you aren’t building dicks in this game, you’re playing it wrong.
2021
I wish Amelia would stop groundpounding moms and instead groundpound my cock and balls.
2005
Ok, now Sonic believes in the second amendment! This is what god created games for! Easily the manliest game known to man.
Parody or no, I can’t shit on Sonic 3 & Knuckles.
I would low key bang Larxene, but would I have to play fucking Yugioh just to get in her pants?
The scariest thing about this game is having a job in the service industry.
Dragon Pussy is pretty tight y’all.
EVAs amazing awesome astrological all-time greatest bombastic bootylicious beautiful charming champion chungus delectable desirable delicious entrancing exciting enormous fat fucking fair gigantic gargantuan g-force powered hot honkadonk honey nut incredible ingenious impeccable jawbreaking just right jelly knockout knocker kinetic lovable loose lightweight massive magnificent memorable nom-nom nightlike nice oval open overleveled pretty plump perfect queenly quadratic quippy right readable ripped stuffed super supple tight tremendous trustworthy unpredictable unusual useful wavy wrapping with xantic xylophone xi youthful yummy yogurt-like zoological zooming zippy boobies.