Apple Arcade ranked

Back in the ‘90s, when I was first getting into PC games, you could buy these $20 discs from the bargain software rack in places like Office Depot, with names like “100-in-1 Games!” They were generally collections of shareware games (demos, basically), as many as the publisher could jam onto one 600MB CD-ROM. I used to loooove these. Some of the games would barely work, some would be forgettable clones of better games, but then some would be interesting never-to-be-seen-again experiments, and the occasional few would be absolute bangers like Jazz Jackrabbit, Operation: Innerspace, or Doom. A lot of the fun was just in digging through the pile and pressing play.

Apple Arcade has that same vibe for me. The main difference is that they’re all complete games and Apple’s curation is way way better than some random, bootsy CD-ROM maker. (Being able to play them all in bed on my iPad is a plus, too.)

Would I buy or even seek out any one of these games as individual purchases? Probably not. Would I spend $60 once in awhile for a curated 100-in-1 package of Great New iOS Games? Absolutely.

And I can, and so I do. That’s kinda the whole deal.

Anyway, I thought it’d be fun to make a ranked list of these, just to keep track of what I’ve played and maybe shine a tiny spotlight on the ones I liked the most.

(The one-word description thing was just a bit that I started on the first few entries and decided to keep going.)

Godlike
Timeless

6

Chill
Stressfree
Engrossing
Mind-melting

10

Trippy
Bangin’
Soulslike

15

Calming
Plinko

17

Rips

18

Neat
Nostalgic
Old-School
Newgroundsian (in a good way)
Waldo
Pitterpatter
Stylish
Vibes
Pop!
Hmmmm
Fantastic

(
Deceptive)
Hygge
Numerical
Spyhunterlike
Breezy
Goofy

42

Traditional
Tasteful

45

Interesting
Shiftless
Frustrating
Exhausting
Hamfisted
Meow
Bog-Standard

55

Antiquated

56

Underdeveloped
Imprecise
Nah
Dime-a-dozen
Newgroundsian (in a bad way)

63

Uninteresting
Empty
Unappealing
Basic
Ungamelike
Disappointment
Substandard
Headache
Low-Effort
Atrocious

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