Apple Arcade ranked
Back in the ‘90s, when I was first getting into PC games, you could buy these $20 discs from the bargain software rack in places like Office Depot, with names like “100-in-1 Games!” They were generally collections of shareware games (demos, basically), as many as the publisher could jam onto one 600MB CD-ROM. I used to loooove these. Some of the games would barely work, some would be forgettable clones of better games, but then some would be interesting never-to-be-seen-again experiments, and the occasional few would be absolute bangers like Jazz Jackrabbit, Operation: Innerspace, or Doom. A lot of the fun was just in digging through the pile and pressing play.
Apple Arcade has that same vibe for me. The main difference is that they’re all complete games and Apple’s curation is way way better than some random, bootsy CD-ROM maker. (Being able to play them all in bed on my iPad is a plus, too.)
Would I buy or even seek out any one of these games as individual purchases? Probably not. Would I spend $60 once in awhile for a curated 100-in-1 package of Great New iOS Games? Absolutely.
And I can, and so I do. That’s kinda the whole deal.
Anyway, I thought it’d be fun to make a ranked list of these, just to keep track of what I’ve played and maybe shine a tiny spotlight on the ones I liked the most.
(The one-word description thing was just a bit that I started on the first few entries and decided to keep going.)
Apple Arcade has that same vibe for me. The main difference is that they’re all complete games and Apple’s curation is way way better than some random, bootsy CD-ROM maker. (Being able to play them all in bed on my iPad is a plus, too.)
Would I buy or even seek out any one of these games as individual purchases? Probably not. Would I spend $60 once in awhile for a curated 100-in-1 package of Great New iOS Games? Absolutely.
And I can, and so I do. That’s kinda the whole deal.
Anyway, I thought it’d be fun to make a ranked list of these, just to keep track of what I’ve played and maybe shine a tiny spotlight on the ones I liked the most.
(The one-word description thing was just a bit that I started on the first few entries and decided to keep going.)
76 Games
Atrocious
Derpy
Low-Effort
73
Headache
72
Substandard
71
Disappointment
Wack
68
Ungamelike
67
Basic
Kiddy
65
Unappealing
64
Empty
63
Uninteresting
Newgroundsian (in a bad way)
61
Dime-a-dozen
60
Nah
Imprecise
Pointless
Cruddy
56
Underdeveloped
55
Antiquated
Zzzz
53
Bog-Standard
Fine
Fishing
50
Meow
Hamfisted
Exhausting
Frustrating
46
Shiftless
45
Interesting
Throwbacky
Tasteful
42
Traditional
Goofy
40
Breezy
Spyhunterlike
38
Numerical
Chesslike
36
Hygge
Fantastic
( Deceptive)
( Deceptive)
vrooom
Standard
32
Hmmmm
31
Pop!
Pop
29
Vibes
swoooosh
fwooosh
Juicy
Stylish
Pitterpatter
23
Waldo
Well-Polished
Newgroundsian (in a good way)
Old-School
Nostalgic
18
Neat
17
Rips
16
Plinko
15
Calming
14
Soulslike
Good
12
Bangin’
Gorgeous
10
Trippy
Mind-melting
Engrossing
Stressfree
6
Chill
Clever
Touching
Sacred
2
Timeless
Godlike