Outrun 2 begins like the impact of a meteor, face-first at ground-zero before the ashes scatter and you are left staring at a monstrous crater for all eternity.

A visit from an ice-cream van in the form of an arcade cabinet with the blissful precision of a steering wheel has become a sweaty marathon jog at home with an analog stick. A child and their dreamlike mania sanded down to an algorithm, trapped in a straitjacket inside a red room with a black and yellow logo on the ceiling.
It is a daylong rerun of a reasonably solid sitcom playing on the TV at your nice grandma’s house, because what else is there to do?

Outrun 2 is a drunk friend at a party who's lost in the sauce and keeps rambling to everyone about their awesome big ideas they'd do if only someone gave them the money.
Maybe if Outrun 2 (3) got that money, it'd manage to get the child out of that room.

...huh?????

Juste's moveset feels like I'm playing Madeline from Celeste if she were stuck wading in a bayou, an unholy SMT-style fusion of like 5 other vania protagonists. You can't fully "modernize" NES-Simon's gameplay or all its appeal gets lost in translation.

Why are all the spells just cheesy screen nukes? How come every enemy/boss is just a game of red light green light? Every hallway goes to another hallway and a dead end? I have to do this twice?? It's like if the kid on the playground that always put up an "everything-proof" shield grew up and made a dumb fan-game. Did I hypnogogically hallucinate this?