AllstarBrose
2158 Reviews liked by AllstarBrose
Pokémon Bank
2013
Bought for PokeTransporter alone, because the eShop was closing, making it inaccessible. Fun times!
Sonic Adventure 2
2001
Sonic Adventure 1 Review
I recently went on a nostalgia trip by experiencing the original version of Sonic Adventure for the first time, after only having played the DX version on the GameCube. Once I finished it, I decided to continue that nostalgia trip by going ahead and playing through the Dreamcast version of its sequel as well. I was quite fond of both games as a kid, but at some point, I got the idea in my head that the first Adventure was better than the second. After coming back to both games, I no longer believe that to be true. Both games have problems, but Sonic Adventure 2 is a far more consistent and polished experience. It definitely has some low points, but it’s still a solid improvement over its predecessor that trims a lot of its fat.
After Dr. Eggman looks into his family history, he discovers a top secret project that was worked on by his grandfather, Dr. Gerald Robotnik. He infiltrates a military base where this project was being stored and uncovers Shadow the Hedgehog: The Ultimate Lifeform. Shadow promises Eggman a wish and brings Eggman to the Space Colony ARK, where he shows off the Eclipse Canon, a weapon of mass destruction powered by the seven Chaos Emeralds. Meanwhile, the military mistakes Sonic for Shadow, and their forces set out to capture him, all the while completely unaware they’re chasing after the wrong hedgehog. Sonic, Tails and Knuckles once again band together to take down Eggman, Shadow, and the mysterious Rouge the Bat and clear Sonic’s name before Eggman and his allies manage to obtain all of the Chaos Emeralds and power up the Eclipse Canon.
Instead of each playable character having their own unique campaign to play through, the main story of Sonic Adventure 2 is told through two campaigns that each star three characters. There’s Hero, which stars the classic trio of Sonic, Tails and Knuckles, and Dark, which stars Dr. Eggman and newcomers Shadow the Hedgehog and Rouge the Bat. One character from each campaign share a different style of gameplay that comes from the first Adventure. This time around each character has their own unique stages, unlike in the previous game, where you generally played through chopped up versions of Sonic’s stages. For the most part, each character having their own unique stage is to Sonic Adventure 2’s benefit, and while some stages do have flaws that I’ll be getting into, at the very least this keeps the game from feeling as repetitive as Sonic Adventure did with its stages.
Sonic and Shadow’s stages feature the same speed focused platforming gameplay as Sonic’s stages from Adventure. They’re no longer composed of multiple sections, but the stages themselves are still comparable in length to the ones from the previous game. These stages are all fantastic, and once again, easily the best part of the game in general. They’re all laser focused on bringing out the best of these characters’ gameplay. I also had significantly less issues with the camera this time around, which was one of my biggest hang ups with the first Adventure. There were definitely still times where the camera would freak out or not cooperate, but not nearly as much as in the previous game.
Tails and Eggman’s gameplay is a more refined version of E-102 Gamma’s gameplay from the previous game. Tails and Eggman each pilot a small mech, and they run and gun throughout their stages with the same auto-homing shots as Gamma. This is where each character having their own unique stage really shines, as Tails and Eggman’s stages offer unique platforming challenges built around their moveset. Their stages are a lot longer compared to Gamma’s as well, giving a chance for their gameplay to actually breathe. My biggest complaint with Gamma’s gameplay and stages was that they all felt rather braindead. Since your projectiles automatically homed in on whatever you target, there wasn’t really anything stopping you from just targeting everything without any second thought. Tails and Eggman’s gameplay isn’t quite as trivial as Gamma’s was. While it’s still rather easy for the most part, there are actually a few enemies that require you to time your shots, as well as a couple of stages that will actually punish you for mindlessly targeting and shooting everything with environmental hazards that can cause you to take damage or die if you end up shooting them, which is a great way to force you to pay attention to what you’re shooting.
Finally, Knuckles and Rouge share Knuckles’ exploration-based gameplay from Adventure , where you search through stages for pieces of the Master Emerald. Unfortunately, despite also being given unique stages, Knuckles and Rouge’s gameplay isn’t a direct upgrade from Adventure, and it’s during their stages where a lot of my problems with the game stem from. For starters, the Emerald Radar, which is a tool that would beep at increasingly faster speeds the closer you get to an Emerald piece, was changed so that it only detects one Emerald piece at a time, whereas in Adventure, it could detect all three pieces at once. I have a theory about why this was done: Knuckles stages in Adventure tended to be rather small in terms of scale, and having the radar being able to detect all three Emerald pieces at once made it easy to find them rather quickly. In Adventure 2 however, all of Knuckles’ (and Rogue’s) stages are a lot larger compared to Knuckles’ stages in the previous game, so it makes hunting down the Emerald pieces one at a time take a lot longer. This problem gets worse with each subsequent stage, as they get larger and larger, coming to a head with the stages Meteor Herd and Mad Space, the final stages for Knuckles and Rouge respectively. These stages are so large that it can take up to 15 minutes to beat them if you’re unlucky with where the Emerald pieces are placed. Also, the one key difference between the Dreamcast version and the GameCube version of Sonic Adventure 2 that would make me recommend the latter over the former is that if Knuckles or Rouge walk or climb over a surface where an Emerald piece is buried, an exclamation point will appear above their head, letting you know that the piece is buried in that specific spot. This exclamation point doesn’t appear in the Dreamcast version, which made trying to find buried Emerald pieces a much bigger headache.
One aspect of Sonic Adventure that I completely forgot to talk about in my review for it was its various hub worlds that you need to travel through in-between stages. The main reason why I forgot to mention them was because of how little they really added to the game. They felt like they were just there for the sake of being there. They were rather small, they weren’t very interesting to explore, and there wasn’t much you could do in them besides just going into one of the characters’ levels or the Chao Garden. You could find some optional power ups for characters, which admittedly were kind of useful, but also weren’t necessary to finish the game and didn’t really enrich the experience that much further. As such, it’s no surprise that they were cut from Sonic Adventure 2, which was truly for the best. Instead, each campaign simply has one character’s stage follow another, and you can travel to the Chao Garden by finding a Chao Key item in a stage.
The story is a bit more straightforward and less ambitious than Sonic Adventure’s, but I think that was for the best, as it flows a lot better. It’s a Sonic game, so the writing isn’t some airtight masterwork of fiction, but it’s a decent enough story with some high stakes and thrilling moments. There are some aspects to the story that, even as a kid, I thought were questionable. In particular, the fact that anyone could confuse Sonic for Shadow and vice versa when they look nothing alike always confused me, even back then. Also Amy Rose appears as a non-playable character in the story, and her presence in general really confuses me. She frequently just… appears in locations with little to no explanation. It feels like she was meant to have a larger role in the game that got cut down heavily. The voice acting sounds a lot better this time around. Some characters do still sound a bit stiff like Tails and Rouge, but everyone else sounds like they have a lot more energy and are actually trying with their performances. Though Deem Bristow’s Eggman once again steals the show, I really gotta say, I feel like Ryan Drummond’s Sonic in particular has significantly improved. He sounds way more lively than before, and he does a better job capturing Sonic’s wit and attitude.
The music continues the Sonic series’ tradition of being fantastic. Something that I noticed during this playthrough is that each character has a specific type of music that plays during their stages. Sonic’s stages have fast paced punk rock tracks, Tails has upbeat rock that occasionally features some synthesizers, Knuckles has old school hip hop, Shadow features very bass heavy techno with distorted vocals, Eggman has heavy rock tracks that feature a lot of synthesizers, and Rouge has upbeat jazz tracks very reminiscent of spy films like the 007 movies, but with a lot of sensual sounding female background vocals. It’s a really excellent touch, and I very much dig how each stage’s song feels like it was tailored not just for the stage, but for the characters themselves. Some of my favorite tracks include Green Forest, Pumpkin Hill, White Jungle, and Cosmic Wall. (Yes I like City Escape too, I just thought claiming it as a favorite would be disingenuous and boring).
One of the game’s most notable issues is how truly awful its audio mixing and sound design is. Sound effects are deafeningly loud, in particular Tails and Eggman’s targeting laser as well as the Emerald Radar in Knuckles and Rouge’s stages. They both beep obnoxiously loudly. In stages where the Military are pursuing you like in Metal Harbor, Weapons Bed, or Mission Street, there will be this airplane engine sound effect that is also just so ridiculously loud it drowns out all of the other sounds and music that plays on the stage. Meanwhile the dialogue is too quiet, and characters frequently talk over each other. This can lead to some funny exchanges, such as during the cutscene where Sonic and Shadow battle one another on Prison Island, which for whatever reason has always tickled my funny bone even when I was little. The sound design doesn’t make the game unplayable by any means, but it’s very noticeable, jarring and annoying.
I was surprised to find that I still dig Sonic Adventure 2, at least more than I expected to after revisiting Sonic Adventure just before. There was a clear effort to improve upon Sonic Adventure, and I really respect that. I do think they did a rather decent job doing so for the most part. The Knuckles and Rouge stages are definitely a drag, the audio mixing is rather horrendous, and there are aspects of the story that can be a bit questionable, but the game as a whole still manages to be a pretty good time despite that, thanks to the excellent gameplay and level design of the other characters’ stages. At its best, Sonic Adventure 2 still manages to be hype even after all these years, and that’s not just the nostalgia talking.
I recently went on a nostalgia trip by experiencing the original version of Sonic Adventure for the first time, after only having played the DX version on the GameCube. Once I finished it, I decided to continue that nostalgia trip by going ahead and playing through the Dreamcast version of its sequel as well. I was quite fond of both games as a kid, but at some point, I got the idea in my head that the first Adventure was better than the second. After coming back to both games, I no longer believe that to be true. Both games have problems, but Sonic Adventure 2 is a far more consistent and polished experience. It definitely has some low points, but it’s still a solid improvement over its predecessor that trims a lot of its fat.
After Dr. Eggman looks into his family history, he discovers a top secret project that was worked on by his grandfather, Dr. Gerald Robotnik. He infiltrates a military base where this project was being stored and uncovers Shadow the Hedgehog: The Ultimate Lifeform. Shadow promises Eggman a wish and brings Eggman to the Space Colony ARK, where he shows off the Eclipse Canon, a weapon of mass destruction powered by the seven Chaos Emeralds. Meanwhile, the military mistakes Sonic for Shadow, and their forces set out to capture him, all the while completely unaware they’re chasing after the wrong hedgehog. Sonic, Tails and Knuckles once again band together to take down Eggman, Shadow, and the mysterious Rouge the Bat and clear Sonic’s name before Eggman and his allies manage to obtain all of the Chaos Emeralds and power up the Eclipse Canon.
Instead of each playable character having their own unique campaign to play through, the main story of Sonic Adventure 2 is told through two campaigns that each star three characters. There’s Hero, which stars the classic trio of Sonic, Tails and Knuckles, and Dark, which stars Dr. Eggman and newcomers Shadow the Hedgehog and Rouge the Bat. One character from each campaign share a different style of gameplay that comes from the first Adventure. This time around each character has their own unique stages, unlike in the previous game, where you generally played through chopped up versions of Sonic’s stages. For the most part, each character having their own unique stage is to Sonic Adventure 2’s benefit, and while some stages do have flaws that I’ll be getting into, at the very least this keeps the game from feeling as repetitive as Sonic Adventure did with its stages.
Sonic and Shadow’s stages feature the same speed focused platforming gameplay as Sonic’s stages from Adventure. They’re no longer composed of multiple sections, but the stages themselves are still comparable in length to the ones from the previous game. These stages are all fantastic, and once again, easily the best part of the game in general. They’re all laser focused on bringing out the best of these characters’ gameplay. I also had significantly less issues with the camera this time around, which was one of my biggest hang ups with the first Adventure. There were definitely still times where the camera would freak out or not cooperate, but not nearly as much as in the previous game.
Tails and Eggman’s gameplay is a more refined version of E-102 Gamma’s gameplay from the previous game. Tails and Eggman each pilot a small mech, and they run and gun throughout their stages with the same auto-homing shots as Gamma. This is where each character having their own unique stage really shines, as Tails and Eggman’s stages offer unique platforming challenges built around their moveset. Their stages are a lot longer compared to Gamma’s as well, giving a chance for their gameplay to actually breathe. My biggest complaint with Gamma’s gameplay and stages was that they all felt rather braindead. Since your projectiles automatically homed in on whatever you target, there wasn’t really anything stopping you from just targeting everything without any second thought. Tails and Eggman’s gameplay isn’t quite as trivial as Gamma’s was. While it’s still rather easy for the most part, there are actually a few enemies that require you to time your shots, as well as a couple of stages that will actually punish you for mindlessly targeting and shooting everything with environmental hazards that can cause you to take damage or die if you end up shooting them, which is a great way to force you to pay attention to what you’re shooting.
Finally, Knuckles and Rouge share Knuckles’ exploration-based gameplay from Adventure , where you search through stages for pieces of the Master Emerald. Unfortunately, despite also being given unique stages, Knuckles and Rouge’s gameplay isn’t a direct upgrade from Adventure, and it’s during their stages where a lot of my problems with the game stem from. For starters, the Emerald Radar, which is a tool that would beep at increasingly faster speeds the closer you get to an Emerald piece, was changed so that it only detects one Emerald piece at a time, whereas in Adventure, it could detect all three pieces at once. I have a theory about why this was done: Knuckles stages in Adventure tended to be rather small in terms of scale, and having the radar being able to detect all three Emerald pieces at once made it easy to find them rather quickly. In Adventure 2 however, all of Knuckles’ (and Rogue’s) stages are a lot larger compared to Knuckles’ stages in the previous game, so it makes hunting down the Emerald pieces one at a time take a lot longer. This problem gets worse with each subsequent stage, as they get larger and larger, coming to a head with the stages Meteor Herd and Mad Space, the final stages for Knuckles and Rouge respectively. These stages are so large that it can take up to 15 minutes to beat them if you’re unlucky with where the Emerald pieces are placed. Also, the one key difference between the Dreamcast version and the GameCube version of Sonic Adventure 2 that would make me recommend the latter over the former is that if Knuckles or Rouge walk or climb over a surface where an Emerald piece is buried, an exclamation point will appear above their head, letting you know that the piece is buried in that specific spot. This exclamation point doesn’t appear in the Dreamcast version, which made trying to find buried Emerald pieces a much bigger headache.
One aspect of Sonic Adventure that I completely forgot to talk about in my review for it was its various hub worlds that you need to travel through in-between stages. The main reason why I forgot to mention them was because of how little they really added to the game. They felt like they were just there for the sake of being there. They were rather small, they weren’t very interesting to explore, and there wasn’t much you could do in them besides just going into one of the characters’ levels or the Chao Garden. You could find some optional power ups for characters, which admittedly were kind of useful, but also weren’t necessary to finish the game and didn’t really enrich the experience that much further. As such, it’s no surprise that they were cut from Sonic Adventure 2, which was truly for the best. Instead, each campaign simply has one character’s stage follow another, and you can travel to the Chao Garden by finding a Chao Key item in a stage.
The story is a bit more straightforward and less ambitious than Sonic Adventure’s, but I think that was for the best, as it flows a lot better. It’s a Sonic game, so the writing isn’t some airtight masterwork of fiction, but it’s a decent enough story with some high stakes and thrilling moments. There are some aspects to the story that, even as a kid, I thought were questionable. In particular, the fact that anyone could confuse Sonic for Shadow and vice versa when they look nothing alike always confused me, even back then. Also Amy Rose appears as a non-playable character in the story, and her presence in general really confuses me. She frequently just… appears in locations with little to no explanation. It feels like she was meant to have a larger role in the game that got cut down heavily. The voice acting sounds a lot better this time around. Some characters do still sound a bit stiff like Tails and Rouge, but everyone else sounds like they have a lot more energy and are actually trying with their performances. Though Deem Bristow’s Eggman once again steals the show, I really gotta say, I feel like Ryan Drummond’s Sonic in particular has significantly improved. He sounds way more lively than before, and he does a better job capturing Sonic’s wit and attitude.
The music continues the Sonic series’ tradition of being fantastic. Something that I noticed during this playthrough is that each character has a specific type of music that plays during their stages. Sonic’s stages have fast paced punk rock tracks, Tails has upbeat rock that occasionally features some synthesizers, Knuckles has old school hip hop, Shadow features very bass heavy techno with distorted vocals, Eggman has heavy rock tracks that feature a lot of synthesizers, and Rouge has upbeat jazz tracks very reminiscent of spy films like the 007 movies, but with a lot of sensual sounding female background vocals. It’s a really excellent touch, and I very much dig how each stage’s song feels like it was tailored not just for the stage, but for the characters themselves. Some of my favorite tracks include Green Forest, Pumpkin Hill, White Jungle, and Cosmic Wall. (Yes I like City Escape too, I just thought claiming it as a favorite would be disingenuous and boring).
One of the game’s most notable issues is how truly awful its audio mixing and sound design is. Sound effects are deafeningly loud, in particular Tails and Eggman’s targeting laser as well as the Emerald Radar in Knuckles and Rouge’s stages. They both beep obnoxiously loudly. In stages where the Military are pursuing you like in Metal Harbor, Weapons Bed, or Mission Street, there will be this airplane engine sound effect that is also just so ridiculously loud it drowns out all of the other sounds and music that plays on the stage. Meanwhile the dialogue is too quiet, and characters frequently talk over each other. This can lead to some funny exchanges, such as during the cutscene where Sonic and Shadow battle one another on Prison Island, which for whatever reason has always tickled my funny bone even when I was little. The sound design doesn’t make the game unplayable by any means, but it’s very noticeable, jarring and annoying.
I was surprised to find that I still dig Sonic Adventure 2, at least more than I expected to after revisiting Sonic Adventure just before. There was a clear effort to improve upon Sonic Adventure, and I really respect that. I do think they did a rather decent job doing so for the most part. The Knuckles and Rouge stages are definitely a drag, the audio mixing is rather horrendous, and there are aspects of the story that can be a bit questionable, but the game as a whole still manages to be a pretty good time despite that, thanks to the excellent gameplay and level design of the other characters’ stages. At its best, Sonic Adventure 2 still manages to be hype even after all these years, and that’s not just the nostalgia talking.
Kirby's Dream Land 2
1995
Mf thinks life is all sunshine and rainbows
Despite my fondness for the Kirby series and the pink ball’s equally adorable friends, it’s kind of surprising how I haven’t played many of this cute eldritch horror’s older adventures. Case and point, it was only relatively recently that I finally played Kirby’s Dream Land, and while it was certainly a simple and fun enough adventure —and a necessary stepping stone all things considered—, it didn’t quite click with me the same it does for others. It has its moments and highlights, like the shoot ‘em up boss fight, and as a short, easy-to-access platformer, it does a good job, but I find it reaaaaally hard to get invested in its not-so great levels, and Adventure’s existence and how fun and complete that game feels while also accomplishing everything Dream Land does doesn’t exactly help things.
All this to say I had no clue what to expect from the sequel; I knew I had to play this, this is the first outing in Shinichi Shimomura’s less action oriented take on Kirby compared with what Sakurai would end up pursuing in Super Star and that fact alone made it far more interesting, and I also knew some other things here and there, like the fact it features copy abilities and what-not, but overall… Yeah, I didn’t know much about aside from ‘’this is the direct continuation to Dream Land’’. I wasn’t expecting anything bad, hell, I don’t even consider the original game a bad work at all, but I would lie if I said I had high expectations going in…
… so what if I told you I kinda really jammed with this game?
I… Wow, if we see this and the two previous games and some sort of original trilogy, then the evolution is clear as day; as I said, I knew this game lifted some elements from Adventure like the copy abilities, but I never expected to see so many translated so well to the charming brick that is the Game Boy. Levels once again have the adorable introductory cutscenes, but instead of being limited to one-stage run-throughs, there are actual defined hub-worlds, and while there’s less optional stuff than in Adventure (by less, I mean none), the hub areas themselves feel much more compacted and representative of the world they are set in, and it’s hard to describe how, but these areas and the game as a whole manage to feel very lively despite normally featuring no color at all.
And on the levels themselves… You can play as a hamster, so I think that says more than enough. The original Dream Land attempted things such as vertical challenges and annoying mazes, and while those are very much present here, they are accompanied by far more interesting overall lay-outs; the game is still easy, but beating the stages feel like an accomplishment either way thanks to the more varied and fitting challenges, mini-bosses that are actually super fun, and a but more of a puzzle-like feeling thanks to the collectables and the varying paths.
There are still 1ups here and there, but the existence of star bits and being rewarded with a life after collecting enough is a incredibly simple change that goes a long way in encouraging you to approach the stages in a slower-paced, different way, and that’s not even getting into the main collectables that give you the real ending.
Most of the stuff in or added to Dream Land 2 seems like the most basic shit imaginable, and maybe it is, but it’s all done with such care and intent that it’s hard to not be profoundly enthralled by simply getting a new power-up or uncovering a secret. The design, the animations, so reminiscent of both games that came before yet even more adorable, and charming, even the music for crying out loud! Most are rather short loops, sure, but what they lack in length, they deliver in quality, have you even heard Coo’s theme? You know this bird is the real deal when this starts playing.
Oh, that reminds me of the friend animals, actually… Nah, just kidding, I could never forget Rick and his incredibly silly dance, I smiled so much when I saw the lil’ guy go… Rick, Coo, and Kine are so much more than what they seem at first; they aren’t only funny fellas that give new ways to move around, they are also broken as hell in every sense of the word! Each power-up acts different depending if you are accompanied by them or not, and they are pretty much the key to finding the game’s more hidden secrets, and… I don’t know man, they are just so much fun to play as and make you view levels in a completely different way.
Out of the bunch, Kine is probably the least useful: his land movement is ass and pretty frustrating, and it’s not like it makes swimming easier than it already is, and getting him without the possibility of getting rid of it can make certain sections into a nightmare. Other than that, they are genius additions that not only seem like an inspiration for the sections in Kirby 64 alongside other friends of Kirby and even the ability combination mechanic, but also feel like a sort of preview for the far more complex move-sets Super Star would give us.
It's a super charming and fun experience that only has two big problems, those being The Iceberg and the Dark Castle; the former is an ice world, and even tho that alone doesn’t have to mean anything negative, it sadly has some of the most annoying, stressful, and frustrating levels in the entire game, with a vertical sections that is either the easiest thing ever or the most bullshit platformer challenge I’ve ever tried depending on if you have an animal pal or not. And the latter is relying solely in drawn out sections that aren’t that fun to begin with and content to see in other worlds, which is a huge shame considering how cool the whole setting is. Two whole worlds that drag down what’s otherwise a fun and wonderfully simple platformer, it's still Kirby after all, but what intrigues me is how it manages to be Kirby, if that makes sense.
It's clear to me now how much this game not only would highly influence both Dream Land 3 and 64, but after also the Kirby series in general: other playable characters aside of the main puffball, puzzle-like elements and collectables that would return at full force in the modern 2D games, the long running tradition of Dedede getting possessed, and the beginning of the whole Kirby background story as we know it. What surprises me is not so much that it introduces these elements, but just how well they work right here, right now.
It's true that it has two worlds that feel like a bit of a chore, it’s true that most of the puzzle can be summarized as ‘’you need x ability to break x block’’, it’s true that it borrows a ton from Adventure, and all of that matters, but it also matters just how much of a fun and well-thought out adventure this is. I’ve used the word ‘’charm’’ a couple of times, but it’s the word that defines it best….
Also, if the three animal fellas don’t appear in the next 3D Kirby game (If there is one) I will RIOT, I NEED MORE OF THESE ADORABLE MACHINES OF DESTRUCTION AND THEIR SILLY DANCES, DAMMIT!
Despite my fondness for the Kirby series and the pink ball’s equally adorable friends, it’s kind of surprising how I haven’t played many of this cute eldritch horror’s older adventures. Case and point, it was only relatively recently that I finally played Kirby’s Dream Land, and while it was certainly a simple and fun enough adventure —and a necessary stepping stone all things considered—, it didn’t quite click with me the same it does for others. It has its moments and highlights, like the shoot ‘em up boss fight, and as a short, easy-to-access platformer, it does a good job, but I find it reaaaaally hard to get invested in its not-so great levels, and Adventure’s existence and how fun and complete that game feels while also accomplishing everything Dream Land does doesn’t exactly help things.
All this to say I had no clue what to expect from the sequel; I knew I had to play this, this is the first outing in Shinichi Shimomura’s less action oriented take on Kirby compared with what Sakurai would end up pursuing in Super Star and that fact alone made it far more interesting, and I also knew some other things here and there, like the fact it features copy abilities and what-not, but overall… Yeah, I didn’t know much about aside from ‘’this is the direct continuation to Dream Land’’. I wasn’t expecting anything bad, hell, I don’t even consider the original game a bad work at all, but I would lie if I said I had high expectations going in…
… so what if I told you I kinda really jammed with this game?
I… Wow, if we see this and the two previous games and some sort of original trilogy, then the evolution is clear as day; as I said, I knew this game lifted some elements from Adventure like the copy abilities, but I never expected to see so many translated so well to the charming brick that is the Game Boy. Levels once again have the adorable introductory cutscenes, but instead of being limited to one-stage run-throughs, there are actual defined hub-worlds, and while there’s less optional stuff than in Adventure (by less, I mean none), the hub areas themselves feel much more compacted and representative of the world they are set in, and it’s hard to describe how, but these areas and the game as a whole manage to feel very lively despite normally featuring no color at all.
And on the levels themselves… You can play as a hamster, so I think that says more than enough. The original Dream Land attempted things such as vertical challenges and annoying mazes, and while those are very much present here, they are accompanied by far more interesting overall lay-outs; the game is still easy, but beating the stages feel like an accomplishment either way thanks to the more varied and fitting challenges, mini-bosses that are actually super fun, and a but more of a puzzle-like feeling thanks to the collectables and the varying paths.
There are still 1ups here and there, but the existence of star bits and being rewarded with a life after collecting enough is a incredibly simple change that goes a long way in encouraging you to approach the stages in a slower-paced, different way, and that’s not even getting into the main collectables that give you the real ending.
Most of the stuff in or added to Dream Land 2 seems like the most basic shit imaginable, and maybe it is, but it’s all done with such care and intent that it’s hard to not be profoundly enthralled by simply getting a new power-up or uncovering a secret. The design, the animations, so reminiscent of both games that came before yet even more adorable, and charming, even the music for crying out loud! Most are rather short loops, sure, but what they lack in length, they deliver in quality, have you even heard Coo’s theme? You know this bird is the real deal when this starts playing.
Oh, that reminds me of the friend animals, actually… Nah, just kidding, I could never forget Rick and his incredibly silly dance, I smiled so much when I saw the lil’ guy go… Rick, Coo, and Kine are so much more than what they seem at first; they aren’t only funny fellas that give new ways to move around, they are also broken as hell in every sense of the word! Each power-up acts different depending if you are accompanied by them or not, and they are pretty much the key to finding the game’s more hidden secrets, and… I don’t know man, they are just so much fun to play as and make you view levels in a completely different way.
Out of the bunch, Kine is probably the least useful: his land movement is ass and pretty frustrating, and it’s not like it makes swimming easier than it already is, and getting him without the possibility of getting rid of it can make certain sections into a nightmare. Other than that, they are genius additions that not only seem like an inspiration for the sections in Kirby 64 alongside other friends of Kirby and even the ability combination mechanic, but also feel like a sort of preview for the far more complex move-sets Super Star would give us.
It's a super charming and fun experience that only has two big problems, those being The Iceberg and the Dark Castle; the former is an ice world, and even tho that alone doesn’t have to mean anything negative, it sadly has some of the most annoying, stressful, and frustrating levels in the entire game, with a vertical sections that is either the easiest thing ever or the most bullshit platformer challenge I’ve ever tried depending on if you have an animal pal or not. And the latter is relying solely in drawn out sections that aren’t that fun to begin with and content to see in other worlds, which is a huge shame considering how cool the whole setting is. Two whole worlds that drag down what’s otherwise a fun and wonderfully simple platformer, it's still Kirby after all, but what intrigues me is how it manages to be Kirby, if that makes sense.
It's clear to me now how much this game not only would highly influence both Dream Land 3 and 64, but after also the Kirby series in general: other playable characters aside of the main puffball, puzzle-like elements and collectables that would return at full force in the modern 2D games, the long running tradition of Dedede getting possessed, and the beginning of the whole Kirby background story as we know it. What surprises me is not so much that it introduces these elements, but just how well they work right here, right now.
It's true that it has two worlds that feel like a bit of a chore, it’s true that most of the puzzle can be summarized as ‘’you need x ability to break x block’’, it’s true that it borrows a ton from Adventure, and all of that matters, but it also matters just how much of a fun and well-thought out adventure this is. I’ve used the word ‘’charm’’ a couple of times, but it’s the word that defines it best….
Also, if the three animal fellas don’t appear in the next 3D Kirby game (If there is one) I will RIOT, I NEED MORE OF THESE ADORABLE MACHINES OF DESTRUCTION AND THEIR SILLY DANCES, DAMMIT!
Slay the Princess
2023
This review contains spoilers
Before I begin, I will note that (per the developers wishes) there are content warnings on their own website, viewable here. Out of a desire for a completely blind, spoiler-free experience, I obligated to not view them, but if you’re of the younger audience, or simply sensitive to controversial themes, perhaps skip over this review. Reader discretion advised. And, as a precaution, I will talk about major (and minor) spoilers, as I discuss my personal experiences in great detail with this game. And if you decide to see yourself out, whether it be of spoilers and the like, don’t worry. Because no matter what, I’ll always be waiting for you in our next review together. <3
After the developers, Black Tabby Games, called out Backloggd users on their Discord, I knew what I had to do. So I bought the game, and here we are.
Slay The Princess is one of the few games that have sold me on their visual presentation alone. Almost immediately after watching the trailer for it (thanks to Steam Discovery Queue), I wishlisted it, knowing that it would be something truly special. The hand drawn artwork captured my attention, as it is and will probably always be one of my favorite styles in the entire industry. The Princess’s striking, yet disconcerted eyes explain a character’s entire story like no other. The contrast between darkness of the background, and the bright, white foregrounds makes each character pop out. The subtle redness of it all, prominent with the Princess’s dialogue and the gore, instills uneasiness within the player. More prominent than the artstyle however, was how the trailer ended.
Slay The Princess kicks off with the main, unnamed hero, arriving in a dark path, with only a narrator to accommodate him. On said path is a cabin, which has the princess within. From the narrator’s own words, she is to bring the end of the world, unless the hero kills her. Arriving at the cabin, we see a knife and a door. The door within holds the Princess, locked up and sitting innocently. The game then asks you if you would want to slay the princess (ala the game’s title). This is where Slay The Princess really surprised me. There’s so many dialogue opportunities, and all of it from what I’ve experienced is fully voice acted. The Princess herself is highlighted in pink text, representing her initial innocence. The narrator proclaims that you mustn't listen to what the Princess asks of you, no matter what. The Princess herself is a deliberate manipulator, a troubled creature, who gives the player the deepest of stares, and really makes you question if she’s as bad as she seems. If the people who locked her up were convinced of her danger, wouldn’t they kill her outright? I opted to not kill her, out of curiosity, and also kindness. I then proceeded to cut off her hand, to which she blankly reacted, no tears nor crying. As we escape, the Narrator interjects with the desire to kill her, and forces the hero to swing at her. All player choice is neutered at this point, and the princess swiftly dodges your blade, before turning it on you. This is how the trailer ends, and my curiosity began.
After you die, you revive on the same path. Chapter 2 time. It feels like a roguelike, with all new paths and experiences opening up to you. After my initial death, I refused to even enter the cabin, and this time, the Voice of the Skeptical accompanied me.. After that, another cabin came about behind me. I refused, similarly. And, as the narrator stated, the world I had seen had faded into the Void before my very eyes. And then…
I respawned. I began taking notes for this review. I use a dual monitor, so typing notes whilst also writing was a very easy task, and as the game’s audio played in the background, I had taken a liking to the soundtrack playing in the bacground. It was a very soft, endearing piano tune. A very simple composition, but a nice one. This run, I decided to hesitate, and then run into the cabin, balls first. I also grabbed the blade as well, before noticing that it might be the key to my next fate. I made a mental note, before moving on. This time, I had charged straight on in to net the coup de grace, before recieving a blow to the face. “Holy shit that hurt!”, the game pronounced. I didn’t know The Princess practiced arm game in this cell! We engage in a duel, trading blows as the Princess bleeds out. I then give up, admonished for doing so, before getting… stepped on. Goddamn it, I had already played Bayonetta prior. Now I’M the Angel! But, once again, I took notice to her eyes. Something about them conveyed unadulurated anger, unlike her previous expressions. As her bloodied clothes dry. She shoves her knee into my windpipe, leaving me oxygen deprived. Before everything goes dark, I take one last look, before finally passing.
Loop 4, time. Am I doing something wrong? Ending 3 had already sent me back to Chapter 1. Now, I’m back on Chapter 2, where I had previously reset. Once again, inspired to use the knowledge I had previously, I was determined to NOT. TAKE. THE. DAMNED. BLADE. She can kill me through sheer will power alone, so there was no use fighting. Before entering the cabin, I was forewarned by the Narrator, and he once again warns me of her lies. And then, I had gained the Voice of the Broken, a new character. I had also noticed the corrupted music within the background during this time. Was I finally making progress? Only one way to find out.
The Cabin had completely altered this time, into a castle-like structure. Yes! I’m getting somewhere, finally! Right next to the basement door was a mirror. I clean it off, only to reveal nothing. Oh, well! Skipping the basement, I head straight into the basement. God, I could go for some Isaac Rebirth now. The Princess calls us once again, but her voice is… off now. I think we all know what that means, so with caution, I head down, without a blade. Is this what my kindness leads to? My own demise? The Princess appears far more intimidating than ever, growing far in size. Any attempt to fight her is futile at this point. And she KNOWS this. She KNOWS our pasts sins, as she states that she’s seen our previous killings. She is eternal. We attempt to kill her, she blindsighted and gruesomely kills us throughout each run. At this point, the only thing to do is kneel and beg for forgiveness. We come in for a… kiss or something idk, at least the Voice of the Broken knows what's up. I DON’T want to kill her. I don’t want her to know why I’m here. But she simply teases us, and I have no other options. She continues to tease us. She truly was destined to end the world, as she’s said. If you can’t beat em, join em… I free her from her chains, taunting us as we join her side for the rest of eternity. Is this truly our fate? Is there a way to save her? Because no matter what we do, saving her kills us, and killing her is suicide. And as we break her free, our narrator is practically killed, replaced with only the echoes of the cruel mistress herself. We attempt to take her hand, but right before our eyes, she disappears into the void. All we see now is a mirror, and much to the dismay of the hero, we approach it. We see… ourselves. And then we explore the void that now remains as a reminder of what we've done. There is no more cabin. Only the Princess remains, consumed by the hands, spewing evangelical-like nonsense. Out of desperation, I attempt to commit suicide, but it fails. I try to kill “her”, but it also fails. The world hasn't ended, but yet, this is the rest of eternity. Just me, the hands, and a shell of her former self; the princess. The Princess desires perspectives; the vessel she has now represents dominance. And she tasks us with forgetting everything that we’ve experienced thus far to continue the cycle. I refuse twice, not letting her reset my memories. She then promptly closes my game. Thanks! Now that we’re fully intertwined in the eternal cycle, there’s no way out of here, I guess. I forget everything, and reality shatters, which actually made me jump a little with the sound effect. PART 2, TIME!
I reload my save, out of curiosity. Rather disappointingly however, the same outcome happens. And I'm on Loop 1 once more. I've decided this time to be 100% peaceful.; no bullshit, no nothing. I charge in, no guns nor anything, straight to the Princess, completely unarmed. She's a lot more polite to me this time, but how do we get her out of the chains without a knife? She EATS her own hand off. Damn, how has this bitch been stuck in here since forever? She just ate her own hand off!!! Well, kind of, as we eventually just cut her hand off with a blade that mysteriously appears out of nowhere. The Narrator once again forces us to kill her, but something interesting happens this time. The Princess knows that some outside force is influencing us, and then she takes the blade, once again killing us, albeit with remorse this time. This singular line completely threw off how I perceived each run of Slay The Princess. Albeit subtly, the Princess already knows that what's happening isn't normal, not by a long shot.
RUN 2 PART 2: I directly accuse the Narrator of causing my death, and I gain a new voice; The Voice of the Smitten. He's the #2 Princess fan, so good luck stopping him! #1 being me. But once again, our cabin changes, and the Princess seemingly remembers us from before, leaving even the narrator shocked. The killing, the disarment, everything! However, once again, listening to her voice, something seems off. It's a lot less rude and demanding than previously. Maybe we fixed her? Let's rescue her, once again! Getting a closeup of her fac- wait a second. That IS a different Princess! But regardless, we slip her hands through the shackles that bind her, and she gives us a nice, warm hug. Awwww, she's so cute, disregarding her killing us in cold blood last time. But now we're left curious on what we do for the rest of our lives, but the music cuts abruptly, putting me on edge. But the GODDAMN DOOR CLOSES AGAIN. However, the power of love triumphs all, and by uniting our hands, we unlock the door, with only the wonders of the world between u- get fucked with the void lmao. Once again, it's reset time! That was… fairly short, but okay. PART 3!
I turn around, this time, then enter the cabin. I come in, say Hi, and the Princess is not as kind as before, but not necessarily hostile either. I decide to leave her downstairs on her own, but her eyes tell me all that I need to know. I will regret this. So, balls to the walls, I leave her. But even the Narrator warns me about the decision I've made. The Princess aggressively demands her own freedom, threatening to even free herself, but I keep on walking. Barricading the door, I run like it's no tomorrow. Watching eerily, I fall asleep next to the door, with the Princess calling me, begging me to open the door as she violently bangs on it. We nod off, but as we awake, the door was lock picked. The Princess has escaped, and her ass is chasing you now. Seeing what she can do, you probably know how this ends.
Run 2! Voice of the Paranoid, this time. Cabin changes, knife, mirror, same thing. We're met with a path, with the Princess out to kill us for what we just did. I don't act. She finds us, and paralyzes us from the waste down. At this point, I'm on the edge of my seat. The sound design of Slay The Princess is sublime, highlighted by this scene alone. Each effect leaves me anxious as all hell, and the only thing I can do is keep clicking. And the scene of black and white… it was just too much to take. We die as always, but we live on.
Run… 3? Starts in the night… skies. Everything is clear. We find ourselves with every single voice in the game. The cabin is a weird objecymt which shifts as we watch. Did I… fuck up? The mirror is once again fake, leaving only the blade, and we have no choice now. But as we grab it, it sifts through the earth, into the unknown depths below. And what are in those unknown Depths? THE GODDAMN PRINCESS OF COURSE! With no other options as she’s taken away our will power, we let her be free, and she thanks us, before becoming a part of the Void. Once again, we reset the universe, and now we’re back to square one. This was easily my favorite chapter of Slay The Princess thus far.
I enthusiastically head into the cabin this time, destined on cold murder as the narrator wishes us to, no lies or anything. This time, she’s a lot more hostile towards us, ala Part 1. But I charge straight in, stab her chest, and it looks like it did a lot of damage. But the Princess gets up and says “nahhhhhh i can tech this shit”, ending up dying anyways. After a job well done, we leave and see... The Void again. We can’t leave, but we end up staying in the Void for... eternity. Happy? After all of that, hell if I know. But hey, I got a good ending at least!!!! Welp, time to commit suicide and start the cycle all over again.
Voice of the Cold, we enter the cabin, it’s cold, grab knife. The Princess remains dead, as she was before. But that can’t be, right? The world was reset! Well, not entirely, as her spirit lives on, seeping through the bottom floor, heading straight at us. Rather than thinking with our fists, I hesitate. She’s dead anyways, what’s the harm? Apologizing for my past actions, the Princess seems apathetic to it. Out of the debt of our hearts, I ask her what I can do to repay her. The ghost wishes to return home, no battles, no nonsense. She just wants to live a real life. Desperate and out of options, I let her possess me, in an attempt to let her see the world. After briefly passing out, we wake up, with The Princess forever intertwined in our thoughts. We have the option of killing her, but I refuse to oblige, and we thus leave the Basement. As we open the door leading us outside, we suddenly pass out, and the Void faces us once more. As we’ve seen before, The Princess disappears into the hands of The Void, and the mirror once again appears. The evangelical being that was the Ghost states that we need one more vessel to bring her to singularity. As I near the end of the game, I wonder, which Princess to bring into this realm? Which girl to end the game on? Which one will be my final send-off to this game?
Okay yeah, I looked up how to do the Witch route. I am an absolute SUCKER for witches. So why not end the game on one? We enter the Cabin unarmed, but end up grabbing the mysterious knife. As we leave, we go in for the kill, she strikes back, killing us with her own nails. She seemingly meets her end soon enough, as we die.
THE BEST CHAPTER: II - THE WITCH!!! The cabin is grotesque this time, with roots of plants surrounding us, unarmed. Hey, wait a fucking second. THAT’S A CAT WOMAN! What a rip-off. The Witch is incredibly strong, distrusting of us, yet not hostile. I mean, after all, we did kill her. After some back and forth, we eventually get her to come with us for the rescue, not before telling her to go first, and with her subsequently sniffing us, insulting us in the process. Rude. But, not grabbing the knife was a mistake, as she reached it first. But, without warning, she closes the door on us, leaving us alone in our thoughts, with the void slowly consuming the world. As we gaze into the mirror for the final time, our reflection is blank, as the mirror cracks, and so does our reality. As the shards fall, the narrator’s true face is revealed, slowly fading away as we talk to him. What happened to these worlds, we ask. As he slowly dies, he begs us one final time, to kill the princess, once and for all. As we head to the cabin in this twisted Void, the hill bursts open and reveals…
The Princess! Every single version of her, united into one being. But, as The Princess reminds us of The Narrator’s final wishes, that leaves us with one. Last. Choice. As our playthrough comes to a close, The Princess expresses her wish for her own end, as each Princess comes back to remind us of our past killings and savings.
To slay or to not slay...? Every time we’ve come down, hostile or not, we’ve usually met our end, but that’s to be expected, no? After all, our goal is to kill the Princess, and of course she’d resist her own murder, right? Are we the ones at fault? But, we’re simply the player character in a game that FORCED us to choose to kill her. But, then again, we decided to buy the game that said “Slay The Princess”, install it, and play until the very end, out of our own will. We are the ones at fault. AND, with that revelation, I decide to SAVE The Princess, and free ourselves from this reality. But as the glass of this reality begins to crush us, the Princess and I unite into one self, as we spend the rest of eternity together, stepping into… the Infinite. We’ve finally made it back home, as the deceased Princess has wished.
While I know that my explanation of how Slay the Princess made me feel what I did was pretty beefy, it was mostly a journal of the game, as I had processed it in real time. In the end however, Slay The Princess reminds me of The End of Evangelion. Something that was definitely enjoyable on a first look, but when the journey’s all over, you think “Wow, that was actually kind of GOATed”. It's an intentionally deep and complex narrative, with multiple different choices to make, and gorgeous production values being present everywhere in its content. Each run feels different from the last, with the entire narrative changing to reflect your actions. Every variation of the Princess is an extension of your actions, and yes, while some paths felt underdeveloped (Damsel) unfortunately, I still think Slay the Princess is worth your time overall, and the visuals alone will stick with you for a very long time, much less the story and music. Every choice I made had significant meaning, and I can’t wait for my next playthrough of the next few routes. But for now, this is where Slay The Princess ends. And where MY bitching begins.
This was a bit of an experimental review style, one that I don’t plan on using much in the future, but for a game with as many paths as Slay the Princess, it really demanded this style. Hell if I know I’ll continue to use this style, but hey, it’s a thought. But speaking of reviews, I hate to announce so many things in a short time span, but I think I’m also looking into replaying the Bayonetta games soon. I absolutely LOVED Bayonetta 1 when I played it last year, but I never ended up finishing it, unfortunately. All that’s about to change, because I’ll be playing all three mainline titles, back to back, and I’ll also be including Cereza and the Lost Demon as a bonus. It’s been something I’ve always wanted to revisit. I really love Bayonetta, both as a character, and as a game as well. So, I hope you’re looking forward to that. But, that’s all for now. Until next time, my friends!
After the developers, Black Tabby Games, called out Backloggd users on their Discord, I knew what I had to do. So I bought the game, and here we are.
Slay The Princess is one of the few games that have sold me on their visual presentation alone. Almost immediately after watching the trailer for it (thanks to Steam Discovery Queue), I wishlisted it, knowing that it would be something truly special. The hand drawn artwork captured my attention, as it is and will probably always be one of my favorite styles in the entire industry. The Princess’s striking, yet disconcerted eyes explain a character’s entire story like no other. The contrast between darkness of the background, and the bright, white foregrounds makes each character pop out. The subtle redness of it all, prominent with the Princess’s dialogue and the gore, instills uneasiness within the player. More prominent than the artstyle however, was how the trailer ended.
Slay The Princess kicks off with the main, unnamed hero, arriving in a dark path, with only a narrator to accommodate him. On said path is a cabin, which has the princess within. From the narrator’s own words, she is to bring the end of the world, unless the hero kills her. Arriving at the cabin, we see a knife and a door. The door within holds the Princess, locked up and sitting innocently. The game then asks you if you would want to slay the princess (ala the game’s title). This is where Slay The Princess really surprised me. There’s so many dialogue opportunities, and all of it from what I’ve experienced is fully voice acted. The Princess herself is highlighted in pink text, representing her initial innocence. The narrator proclaims that you mustn't listen to what the Princess asks of you, no matter what. The Princess herself is a deliberate manipulator, a troubled creature, who gives the player the deepest of stares, and really makes you question if she’s as bad as she seems. If the people who locked her up were convinced of her danger, wouldn’t they kill her outright? I opted to not kill her, out of curiosity, and also kindness. I then proceeded to cut off her hand, to which she blankly reacted, no tears nor crying. As we escape, the Narrator interjects with the desire to kill her, and forces the hero to swing at her. All player choice is neutered at this point, and the princess swiftly dodges your blade, before turning it on you. This is how the trailer ends, and my curiosity began.
After you die, you revive on the same path. Chapter 2 time. It feels like a roguelike, with all new paths and experiences opening up to you. After my initial death, I refused to even enter the cabin, and this time, the Voice of the Skeptical accompanied me.. After that, another cabin came about behind me. I refused, similarly. And, as the narrator stated, the world I had seen had faded into the Void before my very eyes. And then…
I respawned. I began taking notes for this review. I use a dual monitor, so typing notes whilst also writing was a very easy task, and as the game’s audio played in the background, I had taken a liking to the soundtrack playing in the bacground. It was a very soft, endearing piano tune. A very simple composition, but a nice one. This run, I decided to hesitate, and then run into the cabin, balls first. I also grabbed the blade as well, before noticing that it might be the key to my next fate. I made a mental note, before moving on. This time, I had charged straight on in to net the coup de grace, before recieving a blow to the face. “Holy shit that hurt!”, the game pronounced. I didn’t know The Princess practiced arm game in this cell! We engage in a duel, trading blows as the Princess bleeds out. I then give up, admonished for doing so, before getting… stepped on. Goddamn it, I had already played Bayonetta prior. Now I’M the Angel! But, once again, I took notice to her eyes. Something about them conveyed unadulurated anger, unlike her previous expressions. As her bloodied clothes dry. She shoves her knee into my windpipe, leaving me oxygen deprived. Before everything goes dark, I take one last look, before finally passing.
Loop 4, time. Am I doing something wrong? Ending 3 had already sent me back to Chapter 1. Now, I’m back on Chapter 2, where I had previously reset. Once again, inspired to use the knowledge I had previously, I was determined to NOT. TAKE. THE. DAMNED. BLADE. She can kill me through sheer will power alone, so there was no use fighting. Before entering the cabin, I was forewarned by the Narrator, and he once again warns me of her lies. And then, I had gained the Voice of the Broken, a new character. I had also noticed the corrupted music within the background during this time. Was I finally making progress? Only one way to find out.
The Cabin had completely altered this time, into a castle-like structure. Yes! I’m getting somewhere, finally! Right next to the basement door was a mirror. I clean it off, only to reveal nothing. Oh, well! Skipping the basement, I head straight into the basement. God, I could go for some Isaac Rebirth now. The Princess calls us once again, but her voice is… off now. I think we all know what that means, so with caution, I head down, without a blade. Is this what my kindness leads to? My own demise? The Princess appears far more intimidating than ever, growing far in size. Any attempt to fight her is futile at this point. And she KNOWS this. She KNOWS our pasts sins, as she states that she’s seen our previous killings. She is eternal. We attempt to kill her, she blindsighted and gruesomely kills us throughout each run. At this point, the only thing to do is kneel and beg for forgiveness. We come in for a… kiss or something idk, at least the Voice of the Broken knows what's up. I DON’T want to kill her. I don’t want her to know why I’m here. But she simply teases us, and I have no other options. She continues to tease us. She truly was destined to end the world, as she’s said. If you can’t beat em, join em… I free her from her chains, taunting us as we join her side for the rest of eternity. Is this truly our fate? Is there a way to save her? Because no matter what we do, saving her kills us, and killing her is suicide. And as we break her free, our narrator is practically killed, replaced with only the echoes of the cruel mistress herself. We attempt to take her hand, but right before our eyes, she disappears into the void. All we see now is a mirror, and much to the dismay of the hero, we approach it. We see… ourselves. And then we explore the void that now remains as a reminder of what we've done. There is no more cabin. Only the Princess remains, consumed by the hands, spewing evangelical-like nonsense. Out of desperation, I attempt to commit suicide, but it fails. I try to kill “her”, but it also fails. The world hasn't ended, but yet, this is the rest of eternity. Just me, the hands, and a shell of her former self; the princess. The Princess desires perspectives; the vessel she has now represents dominance. And she tasks us with forgetting everything that we’ve experienced thus far to continue the cycle. I refuse twice, not letting her reset my memories. She then promptly closes my game. Thanks! Now that we’re fully intertwined in the eternal cycle, there’s no way out of here, I guess. I forget everything, and reality shatters, which actually made me jump a little with the sound effect. PART 2, TIME!
I reload my save, out of curiosity. Rather disappointingly however, the same outcome happens. And I'm on Loop 1 once more. I've decided this time to be 100% peaceful.; no bullshit, no nothing. I charge in, no guns nor anything, straight to the Princess, completely unarmed. She's a lot more polite to me this time, but how do we get her out of the chains without a knife? She EATS her own hand off. Damn, how has this bitch been stuck in here since forever? She just ate her own hand off!!! Well, kind of, as we eventually just cut her hand off with a blade that mysteriously appears out of nowhere. The Narrator once again forces us to kill her, but something interesting happens this time. The Princess knows that some outside force is influencing us, and then she takes the blade, once again killing us, albeit with remorse this time. This singular line completely threw off how I perceived each run of Slay The Princess. Albeit subtly, the Princess already knows that what's happening isn't normal, not by a long shot.
RUN 2 PART 2: I directly accuse the Narrator of causing my death, and I gain a new voice; The Voice of the Smitten. He's the #2 Princess fan, so good luck stopping him! #1 being me. But once again, our cabin changes, and the Princess seemingly remembers us from before, leaving even the narrator shocked. The killing, the disarment, everything! However, once again, listening to her voice, something seems off. It's a lot less rude and demanding than previously. Maybe we fixed her? Let's rescue her, once again! Getting a closeup of her fac- wait a second. That IS a different Princess! But regardless, we slip her hands through the shackles that bind her, and she gives us a nice, warm hug. Awwww, she's so cute, disregarding her killing us in cold blood last time. But now we're left curious on what we do for the rest of our lives, but the music cuts abruptly, putting me on edge. But the GODDAMN DOOR CLOSES AGAIN. However, the power of love triumphs all, and by uniting our hands, we unlock the door, with only the wonders of the world between u- get fucked with the void lmao. Once again, it's reset time! That was… fairly short, but okay. PART 3!
I turn around, this time, then enter the cabin. I come in, say Hi, and the Princess is not as kind as before, but not necessarily hostile either. I decide to leave her downstairs on her own, but her eyes tell me all that I need to know. I will regret this. So, balls to the walls, I leave her. But even the Narrator warns me about the decision I've made. The Princess aggressively demands her own freedom, threatening to even free herself, but I keep on walking. Barricading the door, I run like it's no tomorrow. Watching eerily, I fall asleep next to the door, with the Princess calling me, begging me to open the door as she violently bangs on it. We nod off, but as we awake, the door was lock picked. The Princess has escaped, and her ass is chasing you now. Seeing what she can do, you probably know how this ends.
Run 2! Voice of the Paranoid, this time. Cabin changes, knife, mirror, same thing. We're met with a path, with the Princess out to kill us for what we just did. I don't act. She finds us, and paralyzes us from the waste down. At this point, I'm on the edge of my seat. The sound design of Slay The Princess is sublime, highlighted by this scene alone. Each effect leaves me anxious as all hell, and the only thing I can do is keep clicking. And the scene of black and white… it was just too much to take. We die as always, but we live on.
Run… 3? Starts in the night… skies. Everything is clear. We find ourselves with every single voice in the game. The cabin is a weird objecymt which shifts as we watch. Did I… fuck up? The mirror is once again fake, leaving only the blade, and we have no choice now. But as we grab it, it sifts through the earth, into the unknown depths below. And what are in those unknown Depths? THE GODDAMN PRINCESS OF COURSE! With no other options as she’s taken away our will power, we let her be free, and she thanks us, before becoming a part of the Void. Once again, we reset the universe, and now we’re back to square one. This was easily my favorite chapter of Slay The Princess thus far.
I enthusiastically head into the cabin this time, destined on cold murder as the narrator wishes us to, no lies or anything. This time, she’s a lot more hostile towards us, ala Part 1. But I charge straight in, stab her chest, and it looks like it did a lot of damage. But the Princess gets up and says “nahhhhhh i can tech this shit”, ending up dying anyways. After a job well done, we leave and see... The Void again. We can’t leave, but we end up staying in the Void for... eternity. Happy? After all of that, hell if I know. But hey, I got a good ending at least!!!! Welp, time to commit suicide and start the cycle all over again.
Voice of the Cold, we enter the cabin, it’s cold, grab knife. The Princess remains dead, as she was before. But that can’t be, right? The world was reset! Well, not entirely, as her spirit lives on, seeping through the bottom floor, heading straight at us. Rather than thinking with our fists, I hesitate. She’s dead anyways, what’s the harm? Apologizing for my past actions, the Princess seems apathetic to it. Out of the debt of our hearts, I ask her what I can do to repay her. The ghost wishes to return home, no battles, no nonsense. She just wants to live a real life. Desperate and out of options, I let her possess me, in an attempt to let her see the world. After briefly passing out, we wake up, with The Princess forever intertwined in our thoughts. We have the option of killing her, but I refuse to oblige, and we thus leave the Basement. As we open the door leading us outside, we suddenly pass out, and the Void faces us once more. As we’ve seen before, The Princess disappears into the hands of The Void, and the mirror once again appears. The evangelical being that was the Ghost states that we need one more vessel to bring her to singularity. As I near the end of the game, I wonder, which Princess to bring into this realm? Which girl to end the game on? Which one will be my final send-off to this game?
Okay yeah, I looked up how to do the Witch route. I am an absolute SUCKER for witches. So why not end the game on one? We enter the Cabin unarmed, but end up grabbing the mysterious knife. As we leave, we go in for the kill, she strikes back, killing us with her own nails. She seemingly meets her end soon enough, as we die.
THE BEST CHAPTER: II - THE WITCH!!! The cabin is grotesque this time, with roots of plants surrounding us, unarmed. Hey, wait a fucking second. THAT’S A CAT WOMAN! What a rip-off. The Witch is incredibly strong, distrusting of us, yet not hostile. I mean, after all, we did kill her. After some back and forth, we eventually get her to come with us for the rescue, not before telling her to go first, and with her subsequently sniffing us, insulting us in the process. Rude. But, not grabbing the knife was a mistake, as she reached it first. But, without warning, she closes the door on us, leaving us alone in our thoughts, with the void slowly consuming the world. As we gaze into the mirror for the final time, our reflection is blank, as the mirror cracks, and so does our reality. As the shards fall, the narrator’s true face is revealed, slowly fading away as we talk to him. What happened to these worlds, we ask. As he slowly dies, he begs us one final time, to kill the princess, once and for all. As we head to the cabin in this twisted Void, the hill bursts open and reveals…
The Princess! Every single version of her, united into one being. But, as The Princess reminds us of The Narrator’s final wishes, that leaves us with one. Last. Choice. As our playthrough comes to a close, The Princess expresses her wish for her own end, as each Princess comes back to remind us of our past killings and savings.
To slay or to not slay...? Every time we’ve come down, hostile or not, we’ve usually met our end, but that’s to be expected, no? After all, our goal is to kill the Princess, and of course she’d resist her own murder, right? Are we the ones at fault? But, we’re simply the player character in a game that FORCED us to choose to kill her. But, then again, we decided to buy the game that said “Slay The Princess”, install it, and play until the very end, out of our own will. We are the ones at fault. AND, with that revelation, I decide to SAVE The Princess, and free ourselves from this reality. But as the glass of this reality begins to crush us, the Princess and I unite into one self, as we spend the rest of eternity together, stepping into… the Infinite. We’ve finally made it back home, as the deceased Princess has wished.
While I know that my explanation of how Slay the Princess made me feel what I did was pretty beefy, it was mostly a journal of the game, as I had processed it in real time. In the end however, Slay The Princess reminds me of The End of Evangelion. Something that was definitely enjoyable on a first look, but when the journey’s all over, you think “Wow, that was actually kind of GOATed”. It's an intentionally deep and complex narrative, with multiple different choices to make, and gorgeous production values being present everywhere in its content. Each run feels different from the last, with the entire narrative changing to reflect your actions. Every variation of the Princess is an extension of your actions, and yes, while some paths felt underdeveloped (Damsel) unfortunately, I still think Slay the Princess is worth your time overall, and the visuals alone will stick with you for a very long time, much less the story and music. Every choice I made had significant meaning, and I can’t wait for my next playthrough of the next few routes. But for now, this is where Slay The Princess ends. And where MY bitching begins.
This was a bit of an experimental review style, one that I don’t plan on using much in the future, but for a game with as many paths as Slay the Princess, it really demanded this style. Hell if I know I’ll continue to use this style, but hey, it’s a thought. But speaking of reviews, I hate to announce so many things in a short time span, but I think I’m also looking into replaying the Bayonetta games soon. I absolutely LOVED Bayonetta 1 when I played it last year, but I never ended up finishing it, unfortunately. All that’s about to change, because I’ll be playing all three mainline titles, back to back, and I’ll also be including Cereza and the Lost Demon as a bonus. It’s been something I’ve always wanted to revisit. I really love Bayonetta, both as a character, and as a game as well. So, I hope you’re looking forward to that. But, that’s all for now. Until next time, my friends!
Adios
2021
An incredibly human game that isn't interested in embellishing the mundanity of death for anyone's benefit. Adios is a game about accepting the inevitable and trying to examine what makes up a life. It's getting a lot of unfair hate right now and honestly it's a case of "not every game is for every person".
Whether this ends up being a game for you or not, it's well voice acted, emotional, and reflective. A perfect product of exactly what genre it exists in that's worth the short playtime if you can take a moment to suspend your disbelief and embody where it places you.
Whether this ends up being a game for you or not, it's well voice acted, emotional, and reflective. A perfect product of exactly what genre it exists in that's worth the short playtime if you can take a moment to suspend your disbelief and embody where it places you.
Adios
2021
The story is intriguing, I really got into the whole "I feed the bodies the mafia kill to my pigs", the feelings about the farmer's family, but the gameplay is weird. I mean, why would you make a game with "choices of dialogs", but when you choose it, the character just says "hmm" AND DON'T SAY WHAT YOU PRESSED, AND OBLIGATE YOU TO SAY THE "RIGHT OPTION"
What the hell? I get when you do that as something crucial, at a point where the conversation asks for it, but for 5, 6, 7 times? It doesn't help for a game that is about 1 hour and you don't have enough time to get attached to it. Well, I got reflexive, but that was it.
Also, the best part of the game was exploring the house, with the options the game didn't put on the notebook, the telephone and bill's room mainly. You'll learn more about the story doing this, than reading the dialogs. The fishing thing was just extended more than it should.
The achievements made me laugh sometimes, there's also that
Well, if you got it for free, I'd try it, but honestly, if you have limited amount of money to spend, don't buy it. It's pretty mid and It's not replayable.
What the hell? I get when you do that as something crucial, at a point where the conversation asks for it, but for 5, 6, 7 times? It doesn't help for a game that is about 1 hour and you don't have enough time to get attached to it. Well, I got reflexive, but that was it.
Also, the best part of the game was exploring the house, with the options the game didn't put on the notebook, the telephone and bill's room mainly. You'll learn more about the story doing this, than reading the dialogs. The fishing thing was just extended more than it should.
The achievements made me laugh sometimes, there's also that
Well, if you got it for free, I'd try it, but honestly, if you have limited amount of money to spend, don't buy it. It's pretty mid and It's not replayable.
Adios
2021
goodbye in spanish
I've played all the Jedi Knight games and am an avowed Doom-lover, so buying this felt inevitable. Was delighted to discover early on that the game was obviously asset-stripped to make the following year's Shadows of the Empire - everything from sound effects to switches got taken forward - but was less impressed with everything else.
Somewhat painful to try and play via DOSBOX. When moving at speed through the headier action setpieces, the game becomes a painful whirl of pixels and jagged frames that I'm not willing to sit through in my old age. The sewer level was the icing on the cake - don't make me squint at brown and don't make me squint at a 320x200 map that I have to page through with arrow keys.
Might come back to this once the source port is ready, depending on what the developers can do to make it GZDoom-y. Godspeed to the rebels who stole the plans from the evil empire.
Somewhat painful to try and play via DOSBOX. When moving at speed through the headier action setpieces, the game becomes a painful whirl of pixels and jagged frames that I'm not willing to sit through in my old age. The sewer level was the icing on the cake - don't make me squint at brown and don't make me squint at a 320x200 map that I have to page through with arrow keys.
Might come back to this once the source port is ready, depending on what the developers can do to make it GZDoom-y. Godspeed to the rebels who stole the plans from the evil empire.
Jumping Flash!
1995
If I could jump that high...would I ever find the ground again?
Is it bad to jump that high into the sky of nostalgia? To let yourself slip away and put your head into the clouds? Will those clouds of nostalgia turn you against your peers who don't see the vision? The vision of a children's playground for you to jump around to your heart's content? Planting yourself on a little conveyor and riding on it like a first-person roller coaster? Pretending to pet the non-threatening round green birds that chirp "kiwi!" if you dare to shoot them?
I wish I could jump like Robbit, I wish I could shoot lasers like Robbit, and I wish I could make funny noises whenever I took a step forward like Robbit. Why is life such a bore? Why can't it be just playgrounds and rainbows? Why can I not be just like my hero Robbit? Fighting funny evil men with funny palm tree jellyfish henchmen.
Was it my mom's fault that she bought me this during a time where I got nothing for a majority of the year due to being a poor December baby? Is she to blame for this mess? My poisonous care for a simple video game that I had played too much? The rare time where I can attach my mom to a game instead of my gamer dad? My yearning for days that I didn't need to care about getting up for work in the morning? When I didn't have a constant worry for the struggles of others? Is it truly bad for me? To just make me forget, and make me care only about smiling and struggling to hold back my emotions? To just, feel once more?
Is it bad for me to feel like a kid again? For just one hour?
Why must life be so grounded...?
Let's go Robbit, let's jump and go...for old times' sake once more....
Is it bad to jump that high into the sky of nostalgia? To let yourself slip away and put your head into the clouds? Will those clouds of nostalgia turn you against your peers who don't see the vision? The vision of a children's playground for you to jump around to your heart's content? Planting yourself on a little conveyor and riding on it like a first-person roller coaster? Pretending to pet the non-threatening round green birds that chirp "kiwi!" if you dare to shoot them?
I wish I could jump like Robbit, I wish I could shoot lasers like Robbit, and I wish I could make funny noises whenever I took a step forward like Robbit. Why is life such a bore? Why can't it be just playgrounds and rainbows? Why can I not be just like my hero Robbit? Fighting funny evil men with funny palm tree jellyfish henchmen.
Was it my mom's fault that she bought me this during a time where I got nothing for a majority of the year due to being a poor December baby? Is she to blame for this mess? My poisonous care for a simple video game that I had played too much? The rare time where I can attach my mom to a game instead of my gamer dad? My yearning for days that I didn't need to care about getting up for work in the morning? When I didn't have a constant worry for the struggles of others? Is it truly bad for me? To just make me forget, and make me care only about smiling and struggling to hold back my emotions? To just, feel once more?
Is it bad for me to feel like a kid again? For just one hour?
Why must life be so grounded...?
Let's go Robbit, let's jump and go...for old times' sake once more....
Entropy: Zero
2017
ENG: Mod in which we embody a metrocop of Civil Protection that, by a train derailment, is involved and lost in the abandoned City 10.
There is no doubt that this mod points to an aesthetic never seen before in the Half-Life saga. With that cold and oppressive tones preponderant in the snow that hint at the loneliness that holds our protagonist. It's us against the rebels, the vortigaunts and the environment itself.
I also like how stories are told mostly through the visual landscape rather than the characters. That is to say, Half-Life is a saga that has always been characterized by having a strong environmental narrative. But in Entropy: Zero this stands out more by having almost no characters since, as I said before, they are all enemies.
In short, the objective of the game is to put us in the shoes of a villain of this saga, and it succeeds quite well. At our disposal we have stun batons and manhacks. On the other hand, our protagonist is dedicated to making sarcastic and biting comments about the situations around him. Matching the personality of someone who would join the Combine. And that's enough.
ESP: Mod en el cual encarnamos a un metrocop de Protección Civil que, por un descarrilamiento de un tren, se ve envuelto y perdido en la abandonada Ciudad 10.
No cabe duda que este mod apunta a una estética nunca antes vista en la saga Half-Life. Con esa tonos fríos y opresivos preponderantes en la nieve que dejan entrever la soledad que atiene nuestro protagonista. Somos nosotros contra los rebeldes, los vortigaunts y el propio entorno.
También me gusta como se cuentan historias sobre todo a través del paisaje visual más que por el de personajes. Es decir, Half-Life es una saga que siempre se ha caracterizado por tener una fuerte narrativa ambiental. Pero en Entropy: Zero esto se destaca más al no tener casi personajes ya que, como dije antes, son todos enemigos.
En fin, que el objetivo del juego es ponernos en los zapatos de un villano de esta saga, y lo consigue bastante bien. A nuestra disposición tenemos bastones de aturdimiento y manhacks. Por otro lado, nuestro protagonista se dedica a hacer comentarios sarcásticos y mordaces acerca de las situaciones que lo rodean. Coincidiendo con la personalidad de alguien que se uniría a los Combine. Y eso es suficiente.
There is no doubt that this mod points to an aesthetic never seen before in the Half-Life saga. With that cold and oppressive tones preponderant in the snow that hint at the loneliness that holds our protagonist. It's us against the rebels, the vortigaunts and the environment itself.
I also like how stories are told mostly through the visual landscape rather than the characters. That is to say, Half-Life is a saga that has always been characterized by having a strong environmental narrative. But in Entropy: Zero this stands out more by having almost no characters since, as I said before, they are all enemies.
In short, the objective of the game is to put us in the shoes of a villain of this saga, and it succeeds quite well. At our disposal we have stun batons and manhacks. On the other hand, our protagonist is dedicated to making sarcastic and biting comments about the situations around him. Matching the personality of someone who would join the Combine. And that's enough.
ESP: Mod en el cual encarnamos a un metrocop de Protección Civil que, por un descarrilamiento de un tren, se ve envuelto y perdido en la abandonada Ciudad 10.
No cabe duda que este mod apunta a una estética nunca antes vista en la saga Half-Life. Con esa tonos fríos y opresivos preponderantes en la nieve que dejan entrever la soledad que atiene nuestro protagonista. Somos nosotros contra los rebeldes, los vortigaunts y el propio entorno.
También me gusta como se cuentan historias sobre todo a través del paisaje visual más que por el de personajes. Es decir, Half-Life es una saga que siempre se ha caracterizado por tener una fuerte narrativa ambiental. Pero en Entropy: Zero esto se destaca más al no tener casi personajes ya que, como dije antes, son todos enemigos.
En fin, que el objetivo del juego es ponernos en los zapatos de un villano de esta saga, y lo consigue bastante bien. A nuestra disposición tenemos bastones de aturdimiento y manhacks. Por otro lado, nuestro protagonista se dedica a hacer comentarios sarcásticos y mordaces acerca de las situaciones que lo rodean. Coincidiendo con la personalidad de alguien que se uniría a los Combine. Y eso es suficiente.
Entropy: Zero
2017
I wish Breadman a very bad day
Minit
2018
Minit is one of the most average games I’ve ever played but with a phenomenal gimmick. I love the idea of you have one minute to figure out what you need to do and then speed to get it done. However the game only lasts about an hour and once you know what to do it really kills the replay-ability imo. The puzzles were good enough. Nothing to ridiculous but not so easy that you can walk through the game without thinking. The minimal visuals and simplistic gameplay were a nice change of pace. Overall a solid good game, again, mostly because of its awesome gimmick. If you want something quick and easy to play I would definitely recommend it.
Helldivers 2
2024
Hell Divers 2 blew up for reason. The game is action packed, hilarious, immensely fun, 3rd person shooter, PvE, and a game you absolutely owe it to yourself to play with some friends. As someone who finds the shooter genre just very ok I can not recommend this game enough.
It has been since Overwatch (before it sucked) originally came out that me and my friends had a game that we regularly get on every other night and just have a great time together with. For two months me, @Chordata3 and @TSampys25 have regularly got on and just joked, laughed, and had a great time killing robots, bugs, and spreading democracy.
The gameplay loop is great. There are many different missions, across 9 different difficulties, against (at the time of this review) two seperate factions. The first race you are at war with is the alien bug like creatures known as the Termanids. The bugs are aggressive and can overwhelm you with their numbers quickly. The second race is the robot cyborg Automatons. This race while less likely to swarm you and less chaotice are more tactical which makes them in my opinion a scarier threat. With an aresonal of tanks, rocket launchers, grenades, and a whole lot of guns your going to want to seek shelter and be more stealthy in you approach against them. Going from one race to the other almost feels like a separate game. Luckily the game gives you many different weapons you can unlock as some weapons are great against the Termanids but awful against the Automatons and vica versa.
This game can be played alone but I highly recommend playing with friends. Once you get to a high enough level to unlock all the weapons playing on the highest difficulty with some buddies is one of the most fun and rewarding times you can have playing video games.
I will always be thankful @TSampys25 on a whim asked if me and @chordata3 wanted to buy and play Hell Divers 2 together. We had no idea what it even was at the time and its been some of my favorite gaming memories I have with them now.
Now back to spreading liberty, freedom, and democracy.
It has been since Overwatch (before it sucked) originally came out that me and my friends had a game that we regularly get on every other night and just have a great time together with. For two months me, @Chordata3 and @TSampys25 have regularly got on and just joked, laughed, and had a great time killing robots, bugs, and spreading democracy.
The gameplay loop is great. There are many different missions, across 9 different difficulties, against (at the time of this review) two seperate factions. The first race you are at war with is the alien bug like creatures known as the Termanids. The bugs are aggressive and can overwhelm you with their numbers quickly. The second race is the robot cyborg Automatons. This race while less likely to swarm you and less chaotice are more tactical which makes them in my opinion a scarier threat. With an aresonal of tanks, rocket launchers, grenades, and a whole lot of guns your going to want to seek shelter and be more stealthy in you approach against them. Going from one race to the other almost feels like a separate game. Luckily the game gives you many different weapons you can unlock as some weapons are great against the Termanids but awful against the Automatons and vica versa.
This game can be played alone but I highly recommend playing with friends. Once you get to a high enough level to unlock all the weapons playing on the highest difficulty with some buddies is one of the most fun and rewarding times you can have playing video games.
I will always be thankful @TSampys25 on a whim asked if me and @chordata3 wanted to buy and play Hell Divers 2 together. We had no idea what it even was at the time and its been some of my favorite gaming memories I have with them now.
Now back to spreading liberty, freedom, and democracy.
Eastward
2021
I've never before seen a game where the presentation is so leagues better than everything else it has to offer. Eastward is gorgeous in terms of graphics, music and art direction. Phenomenal. The gameplay, however, is bland and uninspired, and a story that starts pretty strong is bogged down by some absolutely horrendous pacing, and a lot of things which leave the player confused. So much of this game feels like nothing would be lost were it cut. Thanks to plot, characters met in one part of the game are often left behind to meet new ones. However, the main cast NEVER acknowledges the peiple they left behind with few key exceptions. WHY DID I SPEND FIVE HOURS IN THIS AREA IF NOTHING I DID THERE AFFECTS THE WIDER PLOT!?!? The gane also didn't feel well optimised for the Switch. This is ine of if not the only game I've played that just crashed decently regularly. There was also a weird effect where the game didn't seem to cover the screen at the edges for whatever reason. This game is frustrating, because there is a lot to love, but the pacing most of all made me avoid playing quite a bit. A 20 ish hour game should not take me ten months, but Eastward is one I couldn't bear to sit down and play regularly, and also one I think could have been five to ten hours shorter, making kt a much better experience. I will say I love the presentation, a number of characters, and the story's high points are pretty good, but I can't seem to ignore my issues.
Cruelty Squad
2021
Death Grips video game