JimTheSchoolGirl
427 Reviews liked by JimTheSchoolGirl
Oh no! Wise Man's Super Gorgeous Ghost Machine has accidentally summoned Sister Bismaru, an evil nun from Goemon's dystopian future! Bismaru is Ebisumaru's French Catholic descendant and looks exactly how you'd imagine Ebisumaru dressed as a nun would look. After facing defeat at the hands of the gang in "Ganbare Goemon 3: Shishijūrokubē no Karakuri Manji Gatame", Bismaru is back with a plan to marry Dochuki, prince of the underworld! Normal video game stuff.
This game is the culmination of everything Konami learned from developing 16-bit platformers, refined for a 64-bit world. Best soundtrack and co-op in the series, voice acted cutscenes and some properly difficult levels with branching paths and various secrets throughout.
Gameplay is 2.5D with levels having background and foreground elements, sometimes with the camera moving around a central point, like a fancy Klonoa. Like most previous Goemon games, you visit towns in between stages to pick up daft side quests and stock up on items. Every world or in this case island, has a castle at the end, usually followed by one of the series' signature Impact mech battles.
Sadly, some quirks are present in the localisation like removal of battery save in favour of the N64 Controller Pak. It's also missing the Hironobu Kageyama opening "Smile Again" (https://youtu.be/5eeHifHoqKA) and Goemon Impact henshin jam, "Double Impact" (https://youtu.be/F-6arYwxCZg).
My only small criticism is that there's some cheap "okama" humour in there which I really don't care for. It's pretty harmless and very of its time but I don't love it!
All that said, Mystical Ninja 2 Starring Goemon is the best 2D platformer on the N64 and quite possibly the best (but not quite my favourite) Goemon game. Annoyingly, it's very hard to emulate correctly (WiiU VC inject seems to be the best option) but if you can get it running well on something, I really recommend giving it a shot! I absolutely love it and it's great.
This game is the culmination of everything Konami learned from developing 16-bit platformers, refined for a 64-bit world. Best soundtrack and co-op in the series, voice acted cutscenes and some properly difficult levels with branching paths and various secrets throughout.
Gameplay is 2.5D with levels having background and foreground elements, sometimes with the camera moving around a central point, like a fancy Klonoa. Like most previous Goemon games, you visit towns in between stages to pick up daft side quests and stock up on items. Every world or in this case island, has a castle at the end, usually followed by one of the series' signature Impact mech battles.
Sadly, some quirks are present in the localisation like removal of battery save in favour of the N64 Controller Pak. It's also missing the Hironobu Kageyama opening "Smile Again" (https://youtu.be/5eeHifHoqKA) and Goemon Impact henshin jam, "Double Impact" (https://youtu.be/F-6arYwxCZg).
My only small criticism is that there's some cheap "okama" humour in there which I really don't care for. It's pretty harmless and very of its time but I don't love it!
All that said, Mystical Ninja 2 Starring Goemon is the best 2D platformer on the N64 and quite possibly the best (but not quite my favourite) Goemon game. Annoyingly, it's very hard to emulate correctly (WiiU VC inject seems to be the best option) but if you can get it running well on something, I really recommend giving it a shot! I absolutely love it and it's great.
i farmed popular villagers and sold them online on tumblr dot com for millions of bells. im not proud of my past
This got 40/40 in Famitsu, so I imported it immediately. The game was £45 and the express shipping was £25; UPS then asked for £30 in 'priority' import handling fees.
I played through the story in an afternoon, checked all the super moves and then never played it again.
Two years later, I saw the English-language version in a bargain bin at a local game shop for £15.
I played through the story in an afternoon, checked all the super moves and then never played it again.
Two years later, I saw the English-language version in a bargain bin at a local game shop for £15.
Quake II
1997
Trent Reznor’s infamous “this game has no atmosphere” comment hangs over this the whole way through, and it’s only emphasised by the default Steam installation dumping you into the action at some hellish resolution and with no music. HUP HUP HUPing through barren brown mono-textured halls and caves without any music is really funny.
Fortunately, 10 minutes of looking around on the internet can lead you to any number of drag-and-drop replacements for id/Bethesda’s pathetic offering. I played through this using the Yagami sourceport and restored Sonic Mayhem’s appropriately butt-industrial soundtrack, which made things a lot more pleasant. When Descent Into Cerberon is in full swing and you’re instagibbing stroggs with bunny-hopped shots from the hyperblaster, it just feels fuckin’ great.
However, those moments are padded thickly with some of the most obtuse exploration I’ve ever seen - the kind of stuff that should leave the average player begging for Sandy Petersen to come back and save us all. I sometimes walked aimlessly in circles down the same corridors and somehow ended up in new places through no intention of my own. On more than one occasion, I resorted to noclipping my way forward, only to realise I still had no idea where the way out was. Welcome to the machine.
Fortunately, 10 minutes of looking around on the internet can lead you to any number of drag-and-drop replacements for id/Bethesda’s pathetic offering. I played through this using the Yagami sourceport and restored Sonic Mayhem’s appropriately butt-industrial soundtrack, which made things a lot more pleasant. When Descent Into Cerberon is in full swing and you’re instagibbing stroggs with bunny-hopped shots from the hyperblaster, it just feels fuckin’ great.
However, those moments are padded thickly with some of the most obtuse exploration I’ve ever seen - the kind of stuff that should leave the average player begging for Sandy Petersen to come back and save us all. I sometimes walked aimlessly in circles down the same corridors and somehow ended up in new places through no intention of my own. On more than one occasion, I resorted to noclipping my way forward, only to realise I still had no idea where the way out was. Welcome to the machine.
Trace Memory
2005
Nothing incredible, but there's just something about early titles for a new gimmick console that are so cosy. The way they often fire the console itself straight into the game with a slightly different name is really charming.
GoldenEye 007
1997
Folk in school paid me £2 to unlock the Invincibility cheat for them. I made almost £5.
Pac-Man
1980
It's wild how well this still holds up. If I see a Pac-Man cab I'll always have a quick go.
Super Castlevania IV
1991
I'm sure I've finished this. There's no way I haven't finished this.
As kids we used to always "Do a Michael Jackson" which meant moonwalking up the stairs then holding the whip above your head.
As kids we used to always "Do a Michael Jackson" which meant moonwalking up the stairs then holding the whip above your head.
Don't ask me, I'm just a kid!
Super Mario Land
1989
It doesn't quite have the feel of a Mario game but then the whole Land is made to feel like a bit of an Elsewhere and I kinda appreciate that. Giant fists come out of some of the pipes and I hate that.
Animal Crossing
2001
I still have the memory card with the Animal Crossing stickers on around here somewhere, housing an entire acre of dead digital animals.
Burnout Paradise
2008
I adored Burnout 2 and 3 but could not get into this one. Wasn't keen on the changes to Crash mode and especially not keen on the open world, end-to-end races. It did not help that it was impossible for me to read the screen on my 15" CRT.
Liberation Maiden
2012
What a crackin' wee game. It's so frantic and chaotic. A short and sweet thing that crashes through your window, slaps you about, and is gone before you're fully aware of what happened.
The initial moment of "My lady, the votes have all been tallied.." then just straight into you being the president of New Japan while still in high school. The fuckin' building immediately opening up and you diving into a mech to go fight the enemy. Hype as shit.
It hits just all the right notes that get me going, and does it in such a good amount of time that I feel comfy recommending it to anyone.
The initial moment of "My lady, the votes have all been tallied.." then just straight into you being the president of New Japan while still in high school. The fuckin' building immediately opening up and you diving into a mech to go fight the enemy. Hype as shit.
It hits just all the right notes that get me going, and does it in such a good amount of time that I feel comfy recommending it to anyone.
This review contains spoilers
[This was a replay for the first time in a few years]
Not shocked to find I still like this game. I'm a sucker for whatever Suda puts out. Happy to admit it. He's my favourite. This is no different. A competent hack-and-slasher oozing with style that often compensates for lack of substance? You bet yer arse!
Despite that, there's something there. I like these characters, shallow as they are. I enjoy the combat, likely due to missions being short enough to not feel like a slog. I love selling my dick so I can receive the gift of a drill arm. These are all good things.
Not shocked to find I still like this game. I'm a sucker for whatever Suda puts out. Happy to admit it. He's my favourite. This is no different. A competent hack-and-slasher oozing with style that often compensates for lack of substance? You bet yer arse!
Despite that, there's something there. I like these characters, shallow as they are. I enjoy the combat, likely due to missions being short enough to not feel like a slog. I love selling my dick so I can receive the gift of a drill arm. These are all good things.
It takes a bit of everything from some of the most well known sci-fi and somehow makes something incredible.
This could have been a monumental fuckup, but every hour or so I was shouting "OH WHAT?!" at the TV in the best possible way. Synapses goin' off rapid-fire with each new revelation. A battle system that initially had me very cold, quickly became something I looked forward to. Those wee blue lights hopping about eventually became the attack preview animations in my mind. God! They've just made a brilliant game filled with well realised characters and crackin' story.
Vanillaware must survive.
This could have been a monumental fuckup, but every hour or so I was shouting "OH WHAT?!" at the TV in the best possible way. Synapses goin' off rapid-fire with each new revelation. A battle system that initially had me very cold, quickly became something I looked forward to. Those wee blue lights hopping about eventually became the attack preview animations in my mind. God! They've just made a brilliant game filled with well realised characters and crackin' story.
Vanillaware must survive.