This happened to my buddy E̷̡̢̧̡̨̡̧̧̡̢̛̛̠̺̜̞̬̗̥͔̦̻̬̝̼͕̬̝͎̬̥͇̻̫͕͚͕͎̟̫̫̪̰͍͓̺̳̜͚̩̞̳̦̱͈͈͈͈̹͍̰̝̬̥͇͙̰͕̱͚̣̤̟͚͔̯̩͙̙̤̮̠̪͎̖̤̞͚̘̱̖͓̙̦̱̻͚̟̤̠̼͉̥͍̤̟͔̰̣̗͕͖͎̣͕̥̺͓̹̟̲̫̮̩̱̰͖̱͍̬̪̫͔͕̣̖͓̖̺͈͇̮̪̺̫̯̘̫̣͓̪͉̟̳͍̟̹̺̣͖̹͉̣͙̜͎̎̀̈́̉̅͛͑̿͛̈́͒̈́̊̎͑̂͌̈́̐͂̀͐̎̍͐̊͌̾̓̊̿̇̽͊͗̊̌̋͌̏̈́͋̽̽̿͋͘͘͘͘̕͘̚͜͜͝͝ͅr̷̢̧̡̡̢̧̨̨̨̡̡̧̢̨̢̢̢̧̛̛̛̛̛͕̙͔̞̳̰̘̞͖̥͈͔̙̦̱͙̤̱̹̱̲͓̗̭̜̫̝̣̘̥͖͖̹̻̯̬̩̞͕͙̣̥̻̼̺͇̳͈̥̹͈̩̖̯̼̜̳̬̮̟̬̦͈̗̥̥̼̰̞̮͖̫̥̘͈̱͙̥͕̤̰̝̳̘͔͔͚͉̻̩̣̺̯̙͈̮͈͔͕͇̪̙͍̹̲̤͔̼̺̲͇̩͕̺̲̤̲͍̩̭͖̬̜̺̹̭̟̜͚͈̰̮͚̣̱̠̖̝͎̠̲̘̣͕̼̪͉̞̣̩͙͙̺͈̭̣͖͖͖̣̘̤̥͙̩̼̭͔͈͈̯̼̲͎͙̖͚̯͙͖̠͔̼̖̞͙͙̟̬̫̙͎̤̥̻̭̞̰̫̠̯̮̻̯͉̪͕̼͈̮͈̤̘͖̩̼̫͈̈̋̌͗͊͑̆́̈́̍̂͂̉͗͑͛̉́̂̾̂̇̅͌̈́͆̂̊͊̇̊͐̈͌̅̅́̏͒̿́̆̏̊̄̋̓͌̒͐̊̂͑̅̈́̌̏̿͋̍̑̃͊́̂̔̾̓̒̑̎̑̂̽̋̈́͒͋͒̽̓̔͊̎͆́̐̃̑͋̌͐̉̀̒̈́̿͐̓̒͑̀̍̅̐͛̀͌̓̾̓͗́̏̿̂͗͗͐͋͌̃̉̇͂̋̂̄̍͆͂̿̽̏́͋̄̈́͊̈́́̋̑̎̈́̀̉͊̑̈̃̎̂̈́̇̒̊́̿̽̍̉̾̎̓͋̒̀͗̀͗̽̑̈́̒̔̿̔͑͊̔̀̆̐͑̓̈́̍̀̑͌̅̇̿̒̒̊̿̍̿̈͘͘̚̕͘̚̕͘̚̕͘͘̚͘͜͜͜͝͝͝͝͠͠͠͠ͅͅͅͅͅi̵̡̧̧̧̧̢̢̧̢̛̛̛̛̛̛͚̘̮̥̘̳̰̮̮̺̪̟̙̻̟͈̪͍̹͉̘̥͚̤͎̗̭̤̙͇̲̦̰̳̗̯̮͕̳̟̹̥̣͈͓̠̰̦͓̩̰̘̰̠̗̠̪̘̣̲̺̗̩̬̠̺̻̮̙̟̟̼̞͉̲̯̣̗̹̜̤̰̹̗̰͍͙̣̩̙̜̘̩̣̙̰͍̺̮̖̹̟̞̝̫̱͋̓̅̈́͆̏́̿̈̾̆̅́͋̄͆̄̈̐͋̅́̇͂̾̎͗̎͆̃̓̋͛̉̔̏͆̾̏̃͊͑̉̈́̓̎̋̀̅̈́̈͛̈́̑͂̐͒̄̅͑̉͊̔̑̿̅̈́͗͛̈́́̄̓̀̏͋̿́̌̅͆̈̇̆́̽́̋̋̐̉̓̏̊̇̑͗̋̒͊̉͐̓̈͒̂̀͑͗̐̉̆́̈́̊̂̂̈́̄͌̎̅̌̎̈́̊̏͊́̈́͌̄̆̈̂͌͒̿͒̓̋̎̔͂͊͛̊̌͑̒͑̒̂͑̏̌͐̈͂̽̽̓͆̉̀̓̎͒̿̊̄̋̎̽̅͛̈̃́͗̒͒͐͋̆́̐̎͐̀̃̊̀̌͊͊͑̽̌͒̌͌̾͆͘͘̚̚͘͘̕͘̚̚̚̚̕͜͜͝͠͠͠͠͝͝͝͠͠͠͝͝͝͝ͅc̷̨̧̨̢̢̧̡̨̨̢̨̢̢̡͈̗̰͖̤̦̖̘̪̼̩̰̻̗̲̖̤͚̝̼̲͔̟̪̺͖̲͔̫͖͙̹̦̩̝̩̣̪̜̝̖̺͍̹͕͓̭̦̥̫͈͇̦̤̝͔͕̝̠̻̝̳̳̠̣͉̘͉̘̻̗̙̫̘̻̺̥͉͍͕̯̻̻̖͖͓̙̲̞̠̫͉̠̭̼̲͖͎̝̱̣͙̘̪̯͔̲̬̳̘͉̳͔̭̝̘̖̫̣͍͇̥̦̩̱̺͙̳̱̤̗̝̩̞̩͚͕̳̼̙̰̰̙̝̺̪̜̖̲̹͔̯̝̻̼̹̺̖̭̱̦͗̈͐̽̇̒̓̿̽́̐̉͌̽̔̅̀̓̾̏̾̒̏̄͂̿̿͗̋͒͋͛͊́̑͂̋̑̀͂̃͑͒̂͋̄͌͆̆̋̾̈͆̍́̇͐̐̓͆̆̅́̋̓́̾̍̓̏́̓͌̆̇̂͛̂̃͗̽̀͗̏̒̍́́͑͗̈́̌̂̅̅̊̑̽̓̍̉̆̔̓̃̏͐̑̄̈́̇̐̌̀̉̚̕͘̕͘̕͘͘̚͘͘̕͘͘͜͜͜͜͜͝͝͝ͅͅͅͅ

When I first played No More Heroes, I was 15 years old, and I was immediately taken by the horror of it. As much as the trappings were felt to be a parody of gamer stereotypes of the era, there was an ethereal, purgatorial, mood to the city and it's inhabitants that stuck with me for a long time afterwards. One of the formative media experiences that would lead me to finding David Lynch, Alejandro Jodorowski, a lot of my favorite shit.

So when No More Heroes 2 came out three years later, I was extremely excited to play it, and remember being profoundly disappointed in it, and the "Suda Production" games that followed.

I was under the misconception that Suda had directed No More Heroes 2 for most of my adult life, but the latter revelation that he was not the head director has made a lot of things click. No More Heroes 2 is a pastiche imitation of the first game, only taking it's influence from the most surface level, Deadpool-esque fourth wall elements that are angling for nothing but a quick chuckle.

Even purely aesthetically, none of the boss encounters are anywhere close to the character design of the first game. Backstories for assassins seem to be ripped out entirely, multiple bosses spare only a few sentences or don't speak at all. There are tiny kernels of good ideas within No More Heroes 2's framework that are never handled , and the lack of Suda hurts even more imagining a game where these character-developing moments for Travis could have been successful in their impact.

The combat is better than the first game, but there is too much of it. The level design has you fighting wave after wave of identical enemies, and it grows tiresome very quickly without the in-between buildup between ranked fights that was present in the first game. The fights have no stakes to them, they are just a repetitive task to mash through for a plot that doesn't even seem invested in itself.

The music is fantastic, and I really like the handful of 8-bit games they designed for this thing, but when compared to the other masterpieces surrounding it in the Kill The Past legacy, No More Heroes 2 often has me desperately struggling to find the positives.

I played this game for 70 hours and I found it engaging the entire time and was glad to spend time vibing in that world.

I could complain about the plot contrivances or subpar sidequest structure or the repetitive combat-heavy stretch of the back third, but ultimately, this game had my attention for 70 hours without me even considering stopping. I never got sick of playing around with the combat systems and party layouts, I always had fun poking around the maps and marveling at the effective scale of the art design.

The game also passes the important JRPG test of every major town being a place I wanna hang out in. For as dated as the sidequest structure may be, the affinity-charts between the NPC inhabitants and the schedules they adhere to do a lot to sell you on these towns as real, lived-in spaces, and idle NPC dialogue adds a lot of local flavor. Some best-in-class towns here, I cant overstate how fucking important this is.

Overall, had a great time chilling and hanging out with this game.

It's just hard not to feel like Metroid has been outdone by the indie games it inspired in the last decade.

The chunky music doesn't do it for me, Samus's handling feels occasionally stiff, the bosses are all spammy or tedious, and level design often can be a bit obtuse.

But, the charm of the metroid world is still there, and I still had a good time hanging out in it for five hours.

Open world game with above-average storytelling, that's biggest problem is the tedium of it's open-world template design, which felt dated-on-arrival coming out at the same time as a true groundbreaker like Breath of the Wild.

After a shaky start, I think the combat comes into it's own about a third of the way through, although I would have much preferred the game to take the naughty dog route of having large, open linear areas. The sidequests add nothing to the game and open-world traversal and side activites are just not interesting. The game is best played running from main quest to main quest.

Nier is a game filled with unfun time wasters. It is a game that often seems to be actively questioning your motivation to keep playing. The NPCs send you on errands as they berate you for your subservience to them. Of course, you will likely hit the accept quest button anyway. Nier is a game with a five hours worth of small environments that repeat endlessly throughout it's thirty-to-forty hour adventure. You run endlessly back and forth through the same loading checkpoints, all of them taking a little longer than you might think they should.

By most people's benchmarks, Nier can sound like a bad video game when described. What sets Nier apart, then, is how inspired the whole thing is, despite it's problems. Or, more accurately, because of it's problems. The original Nier was an obviously low budget game, yet rather than feeling held back by it's low budget limitations, Nier embraced them and made these flaws thematically appropriate for the story it is telling. It is experimental and inspired in the way many of my favorite video games are. So the question is, can a remake capture the same magic as the original?

The answer is yeah, totally, it's pretty much the exact same game, except it looks better, is fully voiced, and has a little bit of new content, much of which blends so seamlessly into the old that I had to google to make sure it was something that was not in the original Nier. The additional content here I see as nothing but improvements to the original game, aside from possibly having a preference for the Father version of the Nier protagonist, rather over the Brother version we get here.

This remake's most substantial alteration is making the combat of Nier slightly less stale, but this mostly exists to give you more variety in attack animations, if you so wish to use them. Nier is not a game out to challenge your dexterity, and it never was. The result of the remake's combat still retains the repetitive and mindless loops of the original; to the point where "easy" difficulty and "auto-battle" functionality may very well end up being your favorite way to enjoy the game. This function gives the fights a good amount of visual flair, and honestly, not much engagement is lost in the transition between manual and automatic combat. Nier is not a game that anybody should play for the combat; and the improvements change less than you might expect. Ultimately, it might have been a good idea for the remake to not adapt the combat of Nier to be too engaging or mindful; mindless detached killing is very much a point here.

So if the combat, and general gameplay are boring, why should you play Nier?

For one, I think boring can be good. Boring can give you time to think, and boring can feel like home. Nier's aesthetic is a thoroughly cohesive one that is easy to soak yourself in. Nier is calming, comfortable, reflective, melancholy, haunting, and dire. Hanging out in Nier is like hanging out at a cemetery in the early afternoon.

The musical score plays a huge part in this; the cyclical tracks bury themselves into your subconscious to the point small variations on the songs can have a tactile impact. Koiichi Okabe's dreamy choral arrangements dynamically ebb and flow to the player's current actions, and in practice, it is simply one of the synergies between music and games to ever have occurred.

The other star of the show, then, is the writing and world design. Yoko Taro has always had a distinct charm to him that is able to be at once infinitely charming and devastatingly nihilistic. Nier might best be described as a farcical tragedy, it's misfortunes so bleak you sometimes have to laugh at the absurdity of the dark melodrama. Nier balances these dark moments with ones of genuine human kindness, balancing on a razors edge between mean-spirited and heart-warming, and it does this expertly; much credit due to Nier having one of the most likable cast of characters in the central party of any JRPG.

The one misstep of the remake, which is also a misstep of the original Nier, is the required third playthrough of the game, which adds almost nothing to the experience and could have easily been consolidated into the second playthrough; you could have put a save point right before the final boss, as well. It's strange to make some quality of life improvements in the combat, but retain this required five hour slog that adds nothing to the experience of the game. If the game is making a point about tedium and player-drive to push past it, I think it does this perfectly well through it's sidequest structure, I really just cannot be convinced the third run is at all necessary. Nier Replicant 1.22's additional ending fares much better, and I personally think it is a much more satisfying ending to the game than what the original had. This is especially true after having to power through the games patience-testing third playthrough.

Ultimately, it is surreal to play a remake of Nier in the year 2021, and I cannot be anything but ecstatic that video games this strange and unique can connect with a large audience in the modern day. Automata is probably a more accessible game, and one I might recommend over the Nier remake, but Nier Replicant 1.22 still absolutely has that lightning-in-a-bottle feeling the original had of a low budget game created by intensely inspired people. It's a story worth remembering.

Now let's bring this energy to Steambot Chronicles.