Probably my favourite Metroidvania since Guacamelee, which is my #1. This game eventually gets to a point where it actually feels a bit like Guac. and that's a huge part of why I love it.

MOST IMPORTANTLY - which the Metroid series seems to completely misunderstand - TRAVELING and BACKTRACKING are actually fun in this game. The ways you can fast travel to traverse make this game feel mostly seamless and it flows very well. From the start, you are able to leave little marks on the map to note things for later. There are various options. You can use icons or colours. This is a huge benefit and something Metroid desperately needs. In a game this expansive, it's impossible to remember exactly where everything interesting is. Thank you for letting me mark it down! It's not perfect, but it's better than most games in this genre in terms of how it deals with backtracking and using your abilities to access new places in old areas. It was a joy to explore from start to finish. I believe I explored over 95% of the map.

The movement is perfect. It's smooth, but you can feel the weight of the weapons as you swing them. Every ability you get is implemented well, and they're all useful.

The game kind of "feels" like a Souls game, in a way, but it only has a few similarities. To me, it's a mix of Guacamelee and Castlevania. I actually like that they didn't opt to use the Souls mechanic of losing your currency when you die. Instead, there's a different kind of punishment that works pretty well. Essentially, the more you die, the less "magic" or "ability points" you are able to use until you visit your corpse or cleanse your sins. That's a cool way to go about it! It feels less punishing, which is appreciated.

I keep mentioning Guac. due to the way you can traverse the environment horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. It's something other games rarely pull off this well, or even attempt to do. Nice to see someone else do it! On top of that, the platforming is perfectly solid. Everything is snappy. All the platforms and obstacles are laid out in a way that every platforming challenge is satisfying to complete.

The dashes! They're cool looking AND they're so buttery smooth. Bonus points for the dashes.

The bosses are awesome! I won't go in to detail but overall, they're way up there in terms of 2D boss fights go. Same tier as Hollow Knight, imo.

On top of all of this, you have 3 entirely different weapons to use so the replay value is higher than most games like this. I used the heavy/slow weapon at first but eventually opted for the midweight sword. There's also a quicker stabby one, but I didn't really use it. Options that diverse in a game this complicated is awesome to see. Apparently there's some ability that's broken on one of 'em, but I didn't use it so I'm not sure. I think using whatever you enjoy is the way to go.

The tone/atmosphere is fantastic. I'm not a major fan of gothic/religious imagery in games. I like it just fine, but it isn't my first choice. I think for those that DO love that, this game nails it just like Castlevania.

I love that you have choices to make in terms of a skill tree of sorts. That always makes for a more dynamic playthrough. I also like the way you can customize your "perks" and mix and match them to your hearts content. There are also ways to optimize your choices in order to earn bonus perks!

It was the perfect length. It did not over or under stay its welcome.

Honestly, I can't really think of anything specific that I feel negatively about. It's a solid game. It's not one of my absolute overall favourites, but it's one of the best games of 2023 - which is stacked.

...why did I convince myself there was a chance I wouldn't enjoy this? From Software just won't miss.

It's unbelievable to think they made giant metal beasts that both feel like giant metal beasts AND also control extremely well simultaneously. How is this possible? Whether it be sliding along the ground, soaring through the air in ANY direction, gliding to a specific location, or dodging at the last second over and over... these metallic machines make movement maximally magnificent.

Not only that, but all the weapons are super fun to experiment with. From canons to lasers to shotguns to snipers to grenade launchers to swords to machine guns to pistols... everything has a use, and everything feels good. It's wild. Having 4 weapons on you at once seems overwhelming but once you get use to the flow of combat it feels natural. I loved getting up close and using swords and shotguns. Sometimes that really did not work though, so I usually had some cannons or lasers on hand to deal with enemies further away. Also, one of the sniper-like rifles was a big part of my toolkit, as well.

This game is easily a 10/10 in the game-feel department, but it also shines when it comes to the management of your parts. This was the area I was concerned about not enjoying. At first, it was absolutely overwhelming and I was doing my best to ignore it and force my way through without editing things too much. Bad idea! About half way through the game there are some major roadblocks that require you to rethink the way you've played up until that point. It wasn't until then that I realized how special the game was. I was actually interested in switching up my build, and did so for most missions in the second half of the game.

The mission structure is such a breath of fresh air. I could totally see this game for some reason being open world and you having to traverse to different objectives. Being kicked back to the hangar where your mech rests makes things so much more snappy. There's no forced down time. Quick conversations, quick menus, and quick mission breakdowns that lead to mostly quickly completed missions. I love it. This game is very respectful of your time. That's something I saw more in 2023 than I have in the past decade - I think a lot of developers are catching on to the fact that "padding" and "filler" is very noticeable nowadays. From Software has always been good about this, imo, but it shines here even more so.

The voice acting is surprisingly awesome! It's probably emphasized due to the fact that you never actually see any human faces - just voices attached to a codec call or a mech. It made the voices shine even more because they had to do some heavy lifting to get you to appreciate the characters.

It's very grey, but it's actually quite nice looking. The theme of red throughout the game really pops. Also, the colour customization of your own mech is extremely detailed - possibly more detailed than the combat customization! I rocked a bright orange/cyan mech the whole time and loved every second of it. The designs of some of the other mechs are really cool, too. Visually, despite being literally 90% grey - this game stands out. The massive scale of the game and some of these fights certainly plays a part, too.

It's not my preferred genre, and I like their Souls games better, for sure, but this is still an absolutely fantastic video game.

I like going in to games blind these days. It really does make them better experiences. This game was getting a lot of attention and I love Metroidvania's so I knew I had to check it out. After about 3 hours, I decided to put it down for good.

It's just puzzles. Puzzles are my least favourite type of game mechanic. They're the weakest part of every game they're in, and this game is almost nothing but them. I can be totally cool with them if they're well-paced in a game about other things, but that's not the case here unfortunately.

Don't get me wrong, I actually loved the way they implemented some of the items here and were going for a "just figure out how this works, we're not telling you" attitude. Love it.

I also love the theme of it being about animals.
I love the way it looks and sounds.
I kind of liked the sense of exploration, but at the same time it felt WAY too easy to get lost. That's no fun.

The absolute biggest red flag for me, which I realized quickly is...

no combat. Can't do it. If this game had a fun way of either fighting the animals or protecting them from other creatures, I'd probably have stuck with it til the end. Especially because of how inventive the tools you're given are! They're really cool, and could have doubled as fantastic weapons!

I know this is totally a 'me' thing and it's not going to matter to a lot of people, clearly, based on the other reviews. But I'm just pointing out my honest experience with it.

It's incredible that this is made by one person, and I'll probably still end up recommending it to people with an asterisk pointing out that there's no fighting, or real way to test your skills. It's all reliant on problem solving - which I'm sure is totally fine for many.

For me, after a few hours, the flow of this game was as follows:

1. Find something weird
2. Puzzle time.
3. Test some things to figure out how to do it
4. Get it right immediately because it's intuitive (happened often) OR fail to understand and just leave - it's important to note here that because this game is so obtuse it's hard to determine when you CAN do something but just don't understand and when you CAN'T because you don't have the right tool. That's a major issue for me. It's too vague. I like vague, but this is too vague.
5. Wander around some more, see something cool, but then realize you don't know where you are. The map barely helps with this.
6. Puzzle time.
7. Stumble upon a new item
8. Puzzle time.
9. Try to figure out how to get back to that one spot that may have required this item. This could take 1 minute, could take 20.
10. This one's important - potentially redo a puzzle (especially if you happen to die) because for some reason, certain switches reset and others don't.
11. Repeat

Again, the platforming is great. Comparable to other great Metroidvania's. It's just poorly paced because the reward for clearing a puzzle is having another one right afterwards. Let me breathe!

If this game was identical, but had Guacamelee or Hollow Knight combat, it would probably be incredible. I know that probably sounds stupid, but I really do feel like it needs it.

Anyways, I'm glad most of you are enjoying it. It's certainly an incredible accomplishment for one person. I wish I could enjoy it more!

Forward unto Dawn... of a new era! Yeah, I know, bad pun.
Halo 4 starts a new saga for the series, the Reclaimer Saga, and I won't beat around the bush, I know that this one is quite divisive among the community.
Unlike something like Halo 3 which seems to be universally praised, or something like Halo 5: Guardians, which many people hate, Halo 4 seems to be in a weird limbo of opinions.

As a newcomer to the series, this left me intrigued, but I also welcome a new direction. We had the original trilogy and two side games with Bungie. Those games have done wonders for them, and they've been great journeys. For 343 Industries, it was probably going to be very tough to follow them up, so... instead of surpassing them, why not do something different?
Instead of competing with the quality of something like Halo 3, it's better to try and do something new, and hopefully the series doesn't get stale.
Of course, we still want a new game to have good quality behind, and that's where opinions seem to differ.

Halo 4 picks up 4 years after Halo 3, with Master Chief and Cortana getting pulled into a new planet. This planet used to belong to an ancient race of individuals called the Forerunners.
There's a lot going on in this story. From the deepened relationship between Chief and Cortana, from the battle against Didact (a member of the Forerunners), to the small drama that happens because of Cortana's condition.
Because of the number of new concepts being introduced to Halo's lore, I can imagine this can be off-putting for a lot of people.
Being that I'm new to the series and don't have the same expectations people used to have back then, I can't help but feel biased in my assessment of this title.
The story was not perfect. I feel like some of the bits of drama were a bit contrived, and that Didact, while intimidating in his own right, could've been fleshed out a bit more.
I do know that there are Terminals that you can find throughout the game that give you a bit of backstory to the Forerunners. I was able to find 3 during my adventure, and I'm not sure if there are more. Regardless, I feel like these could've been better integrated in the plot itself.
Additionally, the Covenant's return feels like it was haphazardly explained. I'm not sure if there is any supplementary material that explains their return better, but I believe that this could've been improved.

In spite of my criticisms with the plot, one of my favourite things that this game does is the dynamic between Master Chief and Cortana. At the beginning of Halo 4, we get a small glimpse into the life of Chief and why he's the way he is. I was already intrigued when they went into his backstory, but one of the things they point out is that Spartans like him are very anti-social.
Then, the game's story goes out of its way to show that a Spartan can grow a deep connection with someone. So far, Halo 4 seems to be the game where Master Chief talks the most and I really liked it! I appreciate the folks over at 343 Industries making Master Chief more of a character this time around.
And there were also many moments of this story that I felt were well-written.
It's not a great story, but I had a good time seeing it unfold.

Now onto the gameplay! For the most part, 343 Industries played it mostly safe. Many of the classic weapons return, but some new Promethean ones were added, and these were okay. Some of them I liked, others didn't tickle my fancy. This game also further cements that the dual-wielding from Halo 2 and 3 is probably not coming back, as seen in 3: ODST and Reach. A bit of a shame, but I can understand why they made that decision.
I'd say level design was pretty good and well paced for the most part. I feel like maybe the final mission went on a bit too long, but besides that, don't have many complaints on that department.
The new enemies... were a bit annoying, not gonna lie. What doesn't help is that they make you fight a bunch of them, so I recommend practicing patience and covering yourself well enough to defend against them.
I ended up using melee attacks a lot more than my previous Halo adventures, because they were good at taking down most of the enemies quickly.

The presentation in this game is marvelous! Considering that this game was made on the same system as Halo 3, I'm surprised how much Halo 4 was able to showcase with the Xbox 360 hardware. There's a lot of great environments to see, and facial animations are probably some of the best so far!
The soundtrack is also pretty good. We got some new composers this time around, with Neil Davidge producing the OST. Even though it's sad not to hear the classic Halo theme, the game's new theme, Atonement, is wonderful to hear, and I did like some of the diversity in the soundtrack itself, like some of the techno-like tunes.

Overall, Halo 4 was a decent experience. I can definitely see why it's very divisive amongst the fanbase, but I can say that I had a good time playing it. The story was decent, the gameplay was still fun despite its issues, and I just had an overall good time.
It doesn't end the Master Chief Collection on the highest note, but it left me satisfied enough.

I'm not sure when I'll get to Halo 5: Guardians though. At the time of writing this review, it still does not have a native PC port, but even if it did, my PC probably could not run it. It was already a miracle that my PC could handle this one, and it wasn't always the smoothest experience. Maybe someone could make a low-end mod for it, I don't know.

With Halo 4 done, I'm now done playing the main games of the Master Chief Collection. One day, I plan on making a review for it, but not yet.
Although, even though I am done with Halo for now, I am not completely done with the Master Chief Collection... or should I say, the Mustard Beef Connection!

To be concluded...

Grows steadily more unsettling thanks to the refreshingly minimalist visual style and spare synth soundtrack which allows the conscience to form its own isolated terrors and the game for the most part feeds into that paranoia. Kinda whiffs it in the needlessly melodramatic third act but even then the overall mystery is less so about titillation than it is about dissecting the scarred psyche of our protagonist. The South(western) Gothic atmosphere allows for this empathetic study of a disillusioned individual existing beyond an increasingly fractured community to feel authentic without being exploitative and while I wish it was more satisfying in the end (it takes the easy road in the final moments instead of conquering the difficult questions about the character’s PTSD) I was spooked enough for an hour and a half to give a pass.

I had this game at a 9/10 for the longest time, and now on this replay I realize that that was just pure foolishness. I've played this game so many times throughout my childhood and enjoyed the hell out of it, the level design is so fresh and Mario's moveset, while simplified from 64 and Sunshine, fits the game so perfectly and still allows for some cool tricks once you get used to it. The freedom of choice that the expanding comet observatory gives you in choosing a level is done masterfully, having tons of incredibly well designed galaxies and stars to choose from and being able to ignore stars or galaxies you don't like is simply genius game design and something that should be a staple in these types of games. The presentation of the game is also phenomonal, having an incredible sense of atmosphere in nearly every level, that is only backed by the fantastic visuals (that still hold up really well for a game from 2007) and the majestic orchestral soundtrack that I could never imagine this game without. And finally, there's the story which is something that has never been done this well in a Mario game nor do I think it will be again. The plot is the same basic setup, Bowser kidnaps Peach and Mario has to go on a long journey to save her only this time the journey is to the center of the universe and is therefore much more cinematic. As it plays out you become attached to the key character of Rosalina, a character shrouded in mystery that slowly becomes unveiled through her backstory told in the storybook in the library, as well as becoming endeared to the lumas and how sweet and selfless they are and just how much the Comet Observatory feels like a home, not just to Rosalina and them, but to you, the player. The final level and all of its accompanying cinematic cutscenes in this game are just done so right as well, the fight with Bowser is one of epic proportions and you really feel his power in this game which is unlike most other Mario games, and the scenes showing the aftermath of it and the lumas sacrificing themselves en masse to stop the universe from imploding in on itself is such a powerful and moving scene not just for a Mario game, but for any video game I've ever played. From the moment it began to when the credits roll Mario Galaxy tells a fantastical and cinematic story. Despite whether I prefer it or not, Super Mario Galaxy is a masterpiece in the medium of video games and one that deserves the universal praise and respect it gets.

Did you know that in 2004, a great accident took place where several victims were apparently beheaded in public with a mirror repurposed as a saw? Look up "mirror inflation rule34" for more info... So... ah, good, you have not fallen for my tricks. Seeing Meta Knight get owned in a 5 seconds cutscene made me believe that anything could happen from this point on. One could mistake this one for its GBA predecessor, as they share the same... about everything, but the affectionately dubbed Mirror Company has given us a nice slice of kirbyvania. What's the worst that can happen...?................ Well, I've had a healthy dose of fun. A dawg is a dawg, and Kirb is Kirb.

Nobody ask Kirby about the time loop of Candy Constellation. Seriously I entered the area and could not get out of the 6 same rooms hellooo child services this pink child has been: kidnappd 🤣🤣 such are the trials of a metroidvania. Aside from that, exploring has its perks. Kirby has different skin colors, and diferrent Kirbys, and... why are there so many Kirbys??? Is the hour of the Mass Attack upon us already. But clearly, only the pink one is putting in any effort, no red Kirby you do not have "goofy rizz" start vacating that Moonlight Mansion room in the boonies and put in work posthaste. Still impressive in a basic kind of way. I assume they just get assigned rooms and are not actually doing anything when you're not here. Like a classroom once the sub teacher "will be back in 5 minutes".

I guess my boy is getta pilferin'. The treasure system is much better realized in Squeak Squad, but we take the Ws we can. I don't know who made all these mini-bosses respawn, but they officially classify as hindrances, I'm damn hindered by this. The teleportation mirrors have Melee Marth range, at least, but I did die more often than the usual Kirby experience. It wasn't quite the walk in the park you'd expect, but it's also easy to navigate for the genre. Also... get this... I thought you could only destroy the iron blocks with hammer. That shit rare af. If only this mf knew he could fire 🤣 oooh the shame he brought on his entire family tree. But Mom... do you know why all those new enemies didn't even come back in further entries, let alone Squeak Squad or were heavily nerfed? Yeaaah Mirror Company had some trouble down the road. Why do I gotta fear the basic star blocks, whyyyyy. I'm baby

This time, to get to the scary final boss (another one of them), you have to beat nine shareholders shard holders. I think it's a great lesson to instill in that generation's youth, to not throw away your shit when you can fix it 👍 but on the other hand, Kirby's movesets fuckin suck 👎 so if you get any copy ability with more than one move, treasure it. I think you may even get the scare of your life with a certain hand in a certain room... no more half-measures. By sheer happenstance, I also know about the underground dealings that led to Mirror Company's inclusion of the Ohio theme song as an unlockable treasure chest. Look up "ohio big chest" for more info.

(Part 5 of the Half Century Challenge, created by C_F. You can find their fifth review here)

You know what, I am getting SICK and TIRED of reviewing video games, or hell, even just playing them for that matter! I mean, seriously, who even really likes these things anyway? They are full of nothing but dumbass battle royales, microtransactions, IPs being milked to the bone as we speak, and they are all made by a bunch of incompetent TWATS who should be ashamed of themselves for even thinking about taking part in this industry in the first place! And quite frankly, I have had it up to HERE with them, so I’m gonna be stopping right here. I’m gonna move onto reviewing actual games from now on, you know, ones that are actually FUN, and people actually put proper time and heart into, just so that I can get away from all of that other FILTH……………… but hey, I’m sure this all seems very sudden for a lot of you, so I will go ahead and ease you into this new period of my reviewing “career” by reviewing one last video game, one that is essentially an electronic version of an actual, proper game! It’s perfect! So, let us take this final journey by talking about the not-at-all-awkwardly named Touch Me.

For those who are unaware as to what this game is, it is essentially an electronic version of the classic game that we all know and love, Simon Says, or just Simon, for those of you who care about that kind of stuff. It was originally released in 1974 as an arcade title, which you can see through this video, where you have these different buttons, they will light up and go BRZT in a determined sequence, and you have to repeat that sequence until you ultimately lose and feel dead inside as a result. It’s a very simple game that I’m sure that we have all played at some point in our lives, and you can see here just from this one simple arcade machine how effective it really is. The simple design, the simple colors, the infectious sound effects, as well as the natural skills that you can develop from playing Simon Says, such as motor skills and body awareness, makes this an unmistakable gem that most other games over the years can never match, just from its timeless quality alone. Not to mention, the machine even allows you multiple chances, just in case you fuck up, so if you do inevitably mess up, it lets you try again, just to remind you that there is always a way to pick yourself back up and have at it again, even when you feel like you have exhausted every option available.

However, that is not the version of the game that I played, since it is literally impossible for me to play it unless I actually go out and try to find one of these machines. So, instead, I tried out the 1979 version of the game, which was a completely separate handheld version of the game that you could take anywhere! You could play it at home, at the park, at work, even at your wife’s funeral! There can now be plenty of Touch Me fun wherever you go (I’m losing my mind)! And thankfully, it works just as well as the original version of the game, with bright colors to be seen and plenty of BRZTS to add to the experience! However, according to what it says on the box, you better not even THINK about giving this shit to anyone under 7 years old, or anyone past the stage of adult, because if you do, they will have a heart attack right on the spot, as they just can’t handle the INTENSITY of a game like Simon Says!

But if you think that this version is just a straight port of the original Touch Me with no extra bells or whistles to it, then you better sit down, because what I’m about to tell you is gonna blow your fucking mind:..... THERE’S MORE GAME NOW! With this version, you can now set different levels of skill, from as low as 8 all the way up to 99, challenging the player to follow along the pattern a specific amount of times, even rewarding the player with a nice jingle at the end, and OOH BOY, is that jingle ever so sweet. You may think these modes might not mean all that much, but when you think about it, it seems like a pretty daunting task. I mean, seriously, have you ever heard about anyone being able to complete an entire 99 rounds of Simon Says without messing up once? I certainly haven’t, especially not with this version of the game, and I am convinced that nobody has truly reached their full potential in life unless they have completed said 99 rounds in this game. Why else would I be here right now talking about it?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, all of the wonders of the classic game Simon are here and accounted for, for you to get lost in for hours, having the most amount of fun you have ever had in your……… in your………. uh………. sigh............ what am I doing? No, really, WHAT am I doing right now? I’m making a multi-paragraph review about Simon Fucking Says… what has my life come to?! Who the fuck even actually likes Simon Says, anyway? It’s the most boring-ass game in the world, and there’s no way anyone could ever make the game more fun than it actually is…….. unless…… wait… there have been ways that people have made the game more fun! Like, look here in this video, and skip to the 1:28:31 mark! Look at how they took something boring and monotonous and turned it into something more charming and energetic… that makes the game more fun!... to a degree. And look, over here, at the 11:38 mark… they managed to take Simon Says and add a crude, yet oddly hilarious spin on it that makes it even more fun than it was before! Hell, even in a bad game like this one, they managed to take this simple game and make it that much more enjoyable, even by adding extra urgency for whenever you fuck up!

I think I get it now…. yes! I was wrong all along! Video games aren’t filth or terrible in any way… they’re actually wonderful! Sure, there is definitely a lot, and I mean A LOT, wrong with them, and the industry as a whole, but look at all of the wondrous things that we have made from these things! So many different worlds that we can explore, so many fun challenges that we can take on, so many different characters that we grow to love as if they were actual, living people, and so many different ways that they have been able to bring us together, to connect with one another, and to make many different kinds of relationships that, if lucky, could last forever. Making Simon Says a better game is just one small, insignificant fraction of what video games can truly do, and I feel ashamed that I ever threw this medium under the bus, even if it was all meant for a joke! I’m sorry, video games, and I promise, I will never ever leave your side again…

Overall, Touch Me was an interesting way of making a fun, more interactable and replayable version of Simon Says, but really, there is only so much you can get out of it not just because of how one-note and rudimentary it is, especially with many, MANY different versions of the game out there that do make it much better and more replayable. It is a neat little novelty for its time, and it is somewhat fun to go back to for the sake of remembering history, but there isn’t many other reasons as to why you would want to go back to it in the first place. Also, they REALLY couldn’t think of a better title for this thing? I mean, seriously, they could’ve just named it “Simon” or “Memorization”, or something like that, but no, instead we get a name that I feel very uncomfortable saying out loud, especially when I’m around most other people. Keep that shit to yourself, Atari, cause I ain’t interested.

Game #596

Animal Well is an outrageously dense game. It's a bit hard to be more specific than that without accidentally veering into spoilers, but it feels like every major discovery you find completely recontextualizes everything you thought you could see or do in this world. I don't think I've ever had as many mindblowing moments in a single game before and, even if you ignored the rabbithole this game invites you to dive into, the surface layer of Animal Well stands up on its own as a very well executed Metroidvania. This is honestly a stunning achievement of a game, especially for a solo developer, and I'm glad it's getting the praise it deserves.

To address the elephant in the room, Animal Well can indeed get pretty Fez-like at times and, while I certainly didn't dislike Fez, I wouldn't say I was a huge fan of it either. My issues with the more esoteric side of Fez are twofold, but in my opinion Animal Well solves both of these issues in it's own way. Firstly, an awful lot of the content in Fez is locked off behind one or two major bottlenecks that it's very easy to get stuck on. Animal Well on the other hand is remarkably good at making most of its puzzles have multiple solutions (at least at the lower and mid levels), making this not be an issue until you are literally cleaning up the last few dregs of any given challenge.

I also thought Fez's late game puzzles were too clever and mad for their own good. And... well, Animal Well is no different there. But Animal Well is much better at signalling its off-ramps. In Fez it only became clear right towards the end that I wouldn't be getting all the Anticubes, which made all the time on the ones I did get feel wasted. But in Animal Well, there is a pretty strict hierarchy of madness; going for completion in any of the 'depth levels' rewards you with something and is pretty good at letting you know what to expect from the next level, so you can know in advance whether that layer is for you or whether now would be a good time to stop. Compare it with something like Inscryption; most players will get a peek or two behind the curtain at some of the ARG madness in that game while they play, but the ARG side of things is well-telegraphed, clearly only for a subset of players and has very little impact on the game if you choose to ignore it. Animal Well does exactly this, but refines the formula even more in ways I cannot discuss because of spoilers...

The puzzles in this game are mostly very fun, very clever and make you feel like a genius when you work some of them out. And this is somehow true at every level in the game; by the late-game I was looking back at some of the early secrets I was smug at finding and thinking how foolish I was for thinking that was impressive. The game is very good at giving you reasons to go and explore its entire map yet another time, and this... it's a mixed blessing to be honest. While it is very cool to go back to a room you thought you'd fully explored and find yet more secrets hidden in the cracks, a lot of the mid-to-late game in Animal Well does end up with you somewhat aimlessly traipsing across the map, and it can feel quite time wastey. For the most part the few moments of discovery do make each journey worth it, but often times collectibles are hidden behind illusory walls and the like, which are just a bit frustrating and not always signposted in the best way. But overall, the puzzles are great; I am super impressed by some of the ultra late-game puzzles (which I googled after completing the game, no way was I diving that deep into the Well on my own), and the variety on show in this game is incredible.

The aesthetics in this game are also very strong. The retro art style, bizarre animal theming and droning ambience make this a richly atmospheric experience, and a unique one at that; I don't know of any other game that feels anything like this one. What Animal Well is sorely missing, however, is some context. While there is definitely worldbuilding of a sorts in Animal Well, there isn't a plot or any characters to speak of, and this lack of any real context makes the game that much less immersive and that much more... well, video gamey. To be clear I'm not asking for Disco Elysium levels of writing here; the plot in Fez was extremely thin in the ground but, at the very least, I knew who the PC was and knew why they were solving all these puzzles. I really think a basic introductory cutscene like Fez's would have really helped frame Animal Well in a much better way and made the whole experience that more engaging.

But I think that lack of context is the only thing stopping me giving full marks here really because, aside from that, it's hard to see how Animal Well could do what it aims to do any better. It's one heck of a debut solo game, and I look forward to seeing what Billy Basso goes onto create next.

It's pretty disappointing.

While the combat flows better than similar games, a lot of Wuthering Waves still feels half-baked, ranging from technical performance to the UI and worldbuilding. The characters' voicelines repeat themselves anytime you open a menu, there are huge lag spikes and I experienced a random crash too. Like I said, it's just disappointing, considering the game already had two beta tests and it still came out like this on release.

As for the story, I didn't find it particularly engaging from what I've played. After a cool intro cinematic, you're subject to an one-hour exposition dump, which could have just easily been explained as "there's dissonance in this world, so these monsters have appeared; you can also absorb their powers", but instead you get to hear increasingly verbose explanations about everything and their cool names. (Tacet Discord? There's a lot of things you could name monsters, but why would you name them Tacet Discords?)

I'm trying to not end this review on a negative note, there's still some enjoyment to be had in Wuthering Waves - the character designs look good, the first city you visit is pretty, the combat feels smooth and the animations flow well, so if you're a fan of Kuro's previous game, Punishing Gray Raven, this might interest you. As for me, I can't really see myself getting hooked on this world because of the established reasons, so I'll continue playing my gacha of choice about some train in space. Some kind of star rail.

Cleared on May 22nd, 2024 (SEGA Genesis Challenge: 75/160)

I wanted to like this game, but there is way too much stacked against it that it ends up feeling unfun in the grand scheme of things.

Taz-Mania is a platformer featuring the Looney Tunes icon Taz as he ventures through the wilds of tasmania in pursuit of a giant egg that could feed his family for about a week. At first, nothing really seems off. You can jump, throw items, and even breath fire if you've collected peppers. However, what makes this game interesting is Taz's spin which makes him go really fast and can damage foes in your way. It is a very powerful tool, but in a platformer like this, it is also very risky since it can cause you to fall off which best case scenario would knock you down a peg and force you to get back up, but worst case scenario is that you end up losing your life.

Yet you are required at points to jump and spin in order to get from one point to another, and sometimes because the camera is so zoomed in on your character, there are times where you can't tell where your platform is which puts you at risk of overshooting it, and you can get ambushed by enemies as well. Even with your spin attack, some enemies like the little spear dudes can still hit you while performing the move.

The game also throws in a few gimmicks such as "perspective platforming" which is where the game looks 2.5D with being able to move from multiple different logs at seeming different angles on the river, but it is so jank and trying to determine where to land is actually really difficult, and it's not like you can just bull rush it either. The minecart level is probably the most infamous of them all because it requires trial and error to figure out the pattern. Not even Donkey Kong Country can prepare you for how precise you need to be. You can slow down, sure. But there are points where you need to speed up to cross a ramp.

On top of that, I just really don't like the sound design of this game. There is often so much going on at once, and it gets more grating than anything. The music is ok, I guess, but nothing to go wild over. The graphics are quite nice with Taz's sprite and the environments, and the game even has an opening cutscene which is limited animation and textbox, but the sprites are pretty detailed. The game's ending felt rather jarring. It was meant to be comedic in Looney Tunes fashion, but it felt like the game just decided to end abruptly after defeating the last boss.

The game feels like a prelude to the Crash Bandicoot series, and I think Crash was even inspired by Taz himself. So seeing Taz take on the idea prior was kinda cool, and I would be down to see him try a 3D platformer with a wild spin to it... wait, there is one?

I don't really have a shit-ton to say about Pikmin 4, it's just more of the strategic and satisfying goodness that these games are known for. The stages and their designs are all pretty good (except for the last one that I just didn't enjoy for whatever reason) and the return of caves was really well done as well. Night missions weren't that fun but you're only required to do four to beat the game, so they aren't egregious either. Oatchi makes things a little bit too easy, to the point where I didn't ever really find myself getting off of his back unless I absolutely had to, but I don't think this ease makes the game much worse, if anything it makes it more accesible for people getting into the series which is absolutely fine by me. Dandori battles and challenges are really fun and can actually get really challenging towards the end of the game which is great. My biggest complaint here would be the story and characters, they just aren't nearly as interesting as the other games in the series. None of the rescue crew have distinct personalities that make them stand out like Olimar, Louie, or any of the characters from 3 do which is slightly disappointing see how much I love all those characters' writing. And the plot reason for the game happening being to save Olimar and other castaways stuck on the planet is fine enough, but there's not a sense of urgency seeing as they're all still alive just as Pikmin-people hybrids that seem to be doing just fine. Overall these aren't big complaints and the game is still really good despite them, I just wish they were a little better. Overall though, Pikmin 4 is a fine addition to this legendary and underrated series and one that I'm happy has done decently well for itself. Here's to a future with many more great Pikmin games and this series finally getting the love it deserves!

This is the second part of a two-part review for Monster Hunter: world, except this one will be for Iceborne. I strongly encourage you to read the first part here. Iceborne is an equally long game as World, but I don’t have as much to cover this time, so it should be shorter. This DLC has been hyped up for me way before I got into Monster Hunter, so I went in with moderate expectations, but considering my issues with the base game, I wasn’t expecting anything mind-blowing. Needless to say, it was a fantastic experience with a few snags, let’s get right into it.

Iceborne is a substantial DLC right away because it fundamentally changes how each weapon is played and what they can do. Longswords for example, get the Iai slash and Iai spirit slash. Iai slash becomes an essential tool since landing it will allow your meter to naturally charge overtime, giving you more room to disengage from the monster without fully compromising your ability to perform your Spirit Slash combo. Iai Spirit Slash on the other hand is a higher skilled foresight slash that rewards you with tremendous damage, large part-break damage, and is visually striking. However, the issue with this particular move is the timing is far too tight at times, and it has a lot of factors that make it unreliable and random which severely hinders any sort of benefit it could provide on paper. I’m not an expert when it comes to how this move works, however, I recommend watching this video by Peppo, a former speedrunner about Iai Spirit Slash. It was incredibly informal, and was personally the decision for me to never use this move despite the theoretical potential and advantage it provides. With that said, the simple inclusion of Iai Slash makes Longsword much more forgiving to play despite already being rather easy. Other weapons I can’t comment on as much, however a lot of them usually tie into another mechanic introduced into Iceborne, which is the Clutch Claw.

Clutch Claw is a rather divisive mechanic overall. In concept, it allows you to latch onto a monster from a relatively close distance, once you are latched onto a monster you have a few options. You can “tenderize” that part of the monster, which allows for more damage to be dealt in that specific area. Tenderizing takes two strikes to tenderize with light weapons, while heavy weapons only take one. This would be a fantastic mechanic because it’d allow the hunters a much faster means of defeating monsters while also rewarding monster knowledge by tenderizing weak points to deal even more damage. The issue with this mechanic for Iceborne specifically are the monsters themselves, or rather their bloated health pools. Monsters in Iceborne require you tenderize them to deal adequate damage for them to go down at a reasonable pace, which bogs down many fights to “clutch claw and tenderize as soon as possible”. It heavily restricts the approach one can take fighting monsters in Iceborne, that’s not to mention how inaccurate The Clutch Claw also is. Aiming the clutch claw requires you to aim a reticle at the part you wish to clutch onto, if you aim successfully, then there’s no issue, but that’s the problem, the aiming is terrible. Monsters are incredibly fast and always moving, so having the time to carefully aim and clutch onto a monster is a nightmare, on top of its short range, you really need to put yourself in danger to do it. At least if you latch onto the wrong part, you can jump to other parts of the monster, but this can waste time and has incredibly odd input buffering issues from personal experience, but this may have been my own issue entirely by quickly hitting the buttons, it was annoying all the same.

Clutch Claw’s second important use is wall banging with the slinger. In World, the slinger was mostly used for environmental interaction and getting the monster’s attention while also being able to interrupt their attacks if timed right. Wall banging is not only better in every conceivable way to these options, but once again brings up a balancing issue, except in reverse to tenderizing. If you can clutch onto a monster’s face while they’re not enraged you can use up all of your slinger ammo to make them go sprinting into a wall, which will deal tremendous part break damage and have them topple over, giving you a gigantic opening. You can also adjust where the monster is facing to ensure they run into some obstacle or wall for the topple, which is useful. Wall banging pretty much trivializes any fight before Iceborne, and in Iceborne itself, it can be equally trivializing with the right coordination, guaranteeing a topple is already strong, but wall banging itself can deal immense damage to a monster as well. While I think the challenge of the monsters you fight in Iceborne can make up the difference here, wall banging at first is an incredibly satisfying and fun mechanic, but it’s far too easy and rewarding for something that only requires some slinger ammo and the monster not being enraged. Let’s not forget to mention that tenderizing the monster will drop slinger ammo for you if you use a light weapon, the game is giving you the resources to repeat this process over and over. That’s the fundamental problem with Iceborne to me, they design these monsters around both of these concepts, to tenderize, and to wall bang,, so to make up for that, they made monsters have so much health and resistance, if you decide not to use these methods, I’d argue your chances of succeeding later become vastly lower. Not to mention it can slow down certain fights to an absolute crawl, because you need to use the clutch claw, but if the monster is moving around a lot, and you’re just getting unlucky and knocked off a lot, you’re just kind of screwed. Granted you can still fight the monster normally, but with their health, and that lovely time limit adding pressure to be a bit faster, it’s a combination I did not enjoy very much initially, but you do get used to the new flow Iceborne presents, though I feel it dumbs down gameplay a lot and can be a crutch.

I think I’ve addressed some negatives, let’s get into some positives! The monster roster for Iceborne is nothing short of utterly amazing! While I definitely had my favorites from World like Nergigante, Teostra, and Odagaron to name a few, Iceborne quickly introduced me to some of my all-time favorite monsters ever in both design and fights. Nargacuga’s blinding speed yet incredibly fair openings, Brachydios being a knuckle duster with explosive AoE’s, and Barioth’s blinding speed and aggression that can be stopped cold by shattering his wings. There were very few fights in Iceborne I didn’t enjoy or at least tolerated compared to base World, it gave the game much needed variety outside of World’s roster which felt very dinosaur and dragon loaded. Iceborne certainly doesn’t shy away from adding more of these types of monsters, but was pleasantly surprised to see more diverse design inclusions like Banbaro. One thing I could have done without are all the new variants of old monsters. In concept, I think the idea is good, but in Iceborne, they didn’t feel substantial enough at all to warrant including in my eyes. There are exceptions of course like Coral Pukei-Pukei, and Frostfang Barioth to name a few, but others like Ebony Odagaron and Nightshade Paolumu felt more like padding than worthwhile variants worth being in the DLC. That’s a negligent issue in the grand scheme of things, but still an issue regardless, still an amazing roster of monsters I was very pleased with.

Iceborne also has us exploring a new region: The Hoarfrost Reach. Hoarfrost Reach is a beautiful landscape covered in snow, but wasn’t too large or difficult to navigate, on top of being rather flat compared to the likes of the Ancient Forest, I was immediately a fan of this new area. One thing I was not a fan of constantly having to consume hot drinks to ensure my stamina wasn’t lowered by the cold. Thematically speaking, it’s incredibly cohesive and makes sense, mechanically? It’s bothersome to keep up with, but considering it’s not that often you need to refresh your immunity, it’s ignorable, but something I noticed compared to Elder’s Recess where you only needed to consume Cold Drinks for specific sections, not the entire map. We also get an entire new hub for this DLC, Seliana, wow. Seliana in stark comparison to Astera, was remarkably designed, much flatter, much easier to traverse, and had an unbelievably cozy and immersive feel. I loved everything Seliana had to offer in both layout and new activities such as the generator which just made certain items an absolute breeze to get without farming expeditions anymore. Seliana also had a much better and inviting Gathering Hub, with hot springs, more convenient layout, and again just really cozy. It has much better music, you get your own room you can customize and do side quests to obtain more decoration options which is an awesome inclusion that’ll give the game far more playtime and longevity for people who enjoy that. I personally only dabbled with it, but I was thoroughly impressed with how much you could do with it. As soon as I reached, I never went back to Astera, it’s just too bothersome and badly designed to navigate. I appreciate its verticality and scope, but Seliana is just more inviting and non-intrusive, it wins by a landslide.

Progression with Iceborne also felt far better than base world. A plethora of new monsters means more gear than ever to craft, and most of them are once again useful in their own right and look good to boot, with the added bonus of not having an armor set that can essentially carry you throughout the game like the Defender Gear. With that said, the last armor set in the game one could arguably obtain is far too versatile with how it’s designed, every single weapon or playstyle can be supported by it, and it’s due to this armor set that Iceborne’s endgame grinding is always the same, which is a huge detriment. Had the game allowed for any and all armor combinations to, in theory, be viable, it would have made building and using them long-term far more satisfying and valuable, but instead, what awaits you is a far superior armor set everyone uses, with zero reason not to, no negatives, no drawbacks, nothing, the only caveat being how you obtain it, but we’ll get there. Besides that one issue, the plethora of new options is great, and I very much enjoyed the progression in Iceborne more than the base world. I personally built far more weapons and armor in this expansion than my entire time in Base World because the monsters and difficulty increase every mission warranted it enough to feel important to do.

Iceborne unfortunately retreads the same issues the base world does with cutscenes, missions, and characters. None of it mattered to me, it’s all simply, once again, a means to justify why you’re fighting specific monsters, it works, but is completely unimportant overall. I once again found myself wanting to skip these cutscenes in favor of fighting large monsters. Characters are as one-dimensional as ever, but we do get a break from the Handler in this expansion for a little while, which was nice, but nothing significant. It’s honestly a tragedy these negatives still exist, as you also need to watch the cutscene first before others can join your hunt, which was equally annoying in base World, this same issue persists here. For as much as Iceborne improved upon base world, this was not one of those areas, and it’s a shame too because this DLC truly felt like it was really trying to right every wrong, but I guess it can’t all be perfect.

Let’s get into my largest criticism for Iceborne, the endgame, or more specifically, the endgame monsters you will be fighting. Now, it’d be hard for me to talk about this since it’s riddled with spoilers. I was inspired by one of my friends and inspirations, @DetectiveFail to use pastebin to discuss spoilers. So for the last section of this review, I highly suggest reading it here if you want my thoughts on it. For those who don’t, or wish not to, I will still give a brief summary here. Essentially, a lot of the final Monsters you fight in World boil down to DPS checks that don’t necessarily cater to skill, but more so how good your build is, and forces you to grind for something good enough to overcome the challenge. Monster Hunter already made it difficult at times to win due to the time limit implemented in hunts, and here that problem is exacerbated further. If your damage isn’t good enough, then you will simply wipe, that’s all there is to it. Not to mention the difficulty spike in the last two monsters especially is far too high, and I personally struggled to defeat them for several hours, to days. It was certainly rewarding and a huge accomplishment, but also an obstacle that will ensure I will never aim to complete this DLC ever again because the entire grind was rather unpleasant and not very fun. Instead it was incredibly frustrating and felt like the odds were always against me to win, this is ironically in the same spirit as Monster Hunter aims for, to feel an insurmountable challenge against giant monsters you can and will overcome. But here it feels legitimately impossible, and many have told me from talking about the final boss in Iceborne that they never came close to beating it.

This has been a very long review in the making, I appreciate everyone’s patience and support as I got this finished. I’m happy to say it is now finished, and ready to review some other great games I’ve been playing while working on this. Overall, I did love Iceborne, it was nothing but an improvement from the base game with tons of implementations, monsters, and ideas I felt were mostly good, others I can’t necessarily say I’d be sad if they never returned. While I do take many issues with the game and its expansion, I got to say it’s still a remarkable game. I’ve always wanted to get into this series, and I’m glad I did with this one! I can easily recommend it to others for the immersive monster behavior and designs, the soundtrack, and the fun combat that hits a few snags along the way. Thank you all for reading my review of Iceborne! Next time, we’ll be mixing drinks and changing lives! Until next time.