essemkato
200 Reviews liked by essemkato
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Sonic CD
1993
the best sonic game and it's barely even a contest. peak vibes and the jp soundtrack is probably the nicest this series has ever sounded. really weird that people are circling back around to pretending this game is bad lol
Finished Sypha's route, and without the movement options of Grant or Alucard, this was probably the hardest yet (stage 7 on Alucard's path is fucking unforgettable though).
I would really recommend putting in the effort to beat this game legit, Castlevania 3 really isn't as hard as its stated to be, and once you learn the ins and outs and get good, this is literally the most fun game on the entire system, its SO GOOD.
I would really recommend putting in the effort to beat this game legit, Castlevania 3 really isn't as hard as its stated to be, and once you learn the ins and outs and get good, this is literally the most fun game on the entire system, its SO GOOD.
Sakura Taisen
1996
If only I actually knew hanafuda rules I would've been unstoppable
Sonic Adventure
1998
a litmus test for gamer sentience
maybe also the all-time least interesting game to have a debate about? if you think this game is badly designed or that it controls poorly, then i'm genuinely not interested in hearing it. i strongly recommend running it back - without the bitch in your ear yapping out all those cookie-cutter tier arguments
maybe also the all-time least interesting game to have a debate about? if you think this game is badly designed or that it controls poorly, then i'm genuinely not interested in hearing it. i strongly recommend running it back - without the bitch in your ear yapping out all those cookie-cutter tier arguments
Fire Emblem Engage
2023
Storycels be seething over gameplaychads
Its eccentric character classes, refreshing presentation, and surprisingly tasteful (and replayable) campaign are compounded by substantial resource-farming and puzzle-solving side-dishes to the main, dungeon-crawling platter. A DRPG life sim.
Half-Life
1998
I have become brain ruined and decided that On a Rail and the Xen levels are actually Good
when someone talks about "messy queer art" they're actually talking about this
JFK Reloaded
2004
The greatest hero/dark route split in any game, as you can choose to be the Cuban government or the CIA, respectively
the bush family is playin with that voodoo bad
bogwater oil company crusader propaganda disguised as the closest to an arcade game people born after 2000 will have statistically experienced. i did try to play it with genuine video game enjoying intentions (best moment was a noobtube headshot across the river and into the house on overgrown) but that desire just went away after getting even more depressed every time i looked at my statistics on the leaderboard, friends or global, it didnt matter. pointless statistics in a scheme run by the powers that be.
in order to fight off this game's primary intent (convincing teenagers to go die for an oil company under the guise of education, in its heyday i almost succumbed to an ammosexual autism spearheaded by this very computer program) i would proceed to nearly become another statistic (victim of the opioid crisis), join a hardcore search and destroy lobby (de_ for the cstrike fiends) attach a rubber band to the right analog stick to spin around, and another rubber band to attach a shitty earbud to the 360 headset mic, load up a soundboard on a laptop and wreak havoc upon the Most Serious G*mer's, absolutely convinced there was another human on the end of that mic, as i spun around rapidly in spawn, letting the rounds drag on as i hear the degrading words degrade into sounds no longer resembling words. that was the most fun i had within the metaverse of call of duty 6 lobbies on microsoft direct-x box three hundred and sixty's Direct-X Box Live Gold Connectivity service. i wouldn't be the f[THIS USER CAN SAY IT!]got i am today without the stern encouragement of the average microsoft Direct-X Box Three Hundred And Sixty's direct-x box live gold connectivity service user.
alteriwnet was alright too
bogwater oil company crusader propaganda disguised as the closest to an arcade game people born after 2000 will have statistically experienced. i did try to play it with genuine video game enjoying intentions (best moment was a noobtube headshot across the river and into the house on overgrown) but that desire just went away after getting even more depressed every time i looked at my statistics on the leaderboard, friends or global, it didnt matter. pointless statistics in a scheme run by the powers that be.
in order to fight off this game's primary intent (convincing teenagers to go die for an oil company under the guise of education, in its heyday i almost succumbed to an ammosexual autism spearheaded by this very computer program) i would proceed to nearly become another statistic (victim of the opioid crisis), join a hardcore search and destroy lobby (de_ for the cstrike fiends) attach a rubber band to the right analog stick to spin around, and another rubber band to attach a shitty earbud to the 360 headset mic, load up a soundboard on a laptop and wreak havoc upon the Most Serious G*mer's, absolutely convinced there was another human on the end of that mic, as i spun around rapidly in spawn, letting the rounds drag on as i hear the degrading words degrade into sounds no longer resembling words. that was the most fun i had within the metaverse of call of duty 6 lobbies on microsoft direct-x box three hundred and sixty's Direct-X Box Live Gold Connectivity service. i wouldn't be the f[THIS USER CAN SAY IT!]got i am today without the stern encouragement of the average microsoft Direct-X Box Three Hundred And Sixty's direct-x box live gold connectivity service user.
alteriwnet was alright too
euphoria
2011
guys i think i downloaded the wrong game where is freeon leon
BioShock
2007
The guy from Maroon 5 should have directed a better game
Ridge Racer Type 4
1998
oh my god. oh my god i get it. literally everyone was right this whole time. i didnt even think i LIKED racing games
Point Blank
1994
WarioWare shoot it up yo ass game