Games I Will Force Hilda To Play

Everything but the first 43 games are very very bad and potentially offensive, but hildas must endure

Bob the Builder: Can We Fix It?
Bob the Builder: Can We Fix It?
Introvert: A Teenager Simulator
Introvert: A Teenager Simulator
Tonyzaret video

Played 26th feb 2024

So... yeah. My furry girlfriend turned out to be an actually werewolf, but before we could get to first base this nerd in my class brought out a shotgun and threatened to shoot up the school! And i was like uhmmmm so that just happened??? I mean, who brings a SHOTGUN to a school shooting. Thats cringier than the time my teacher interrupted class to t pose! Anyways, that basically sums up my #awkwardsauce life
iCarly
iCarly
Spice World
Spice World
Played April 12:

If you wanna be my lover if you wanna be my lover if you wanna be my lover if you wanna be my lover if you wanna be my lover if you
Hannah Montana
Hannah Montana
Hell's Kitchen: The Game
Hell's Kitchen: The Game
"Jesse we have to cook" - hilda (white)

Played March 27th: Gordon was a very. Proud. Man.
Back at the Barnyard: Slop Bucket Games
Back at the Barnyard: Slop Bucket Games
Played july 12th:

There were so many tears. So much sadness. Visceral embarassment to the hands of Pig. But there could only be one to win the Slop Bucket Challenge. One who slopped it better than anyone ever could. And that person was, of course... Player.
Wally Bear and the NO! Gang
Wally Bear and the NO! Gang
Godzilla Unleashed: Double Smash
Godzilla Unleashed: Double Smash
Boobs Saga
Boobs Saga
Jan 12th 2024

This game LIED on its steam store page and it isnt even close to being as cool as honey select or my FAVORITE GAME Live Stream One AND Two and it was STUPID and I hated it and it was really, really, very, bad. You ARE responsible. Dont even lie to me
Harvest Moon: Light of Hope
Harvest Moon: Light of Hope
RuPaul's Drag Race Superstar
RuPaul's Drag Race Superstar
Dec 10th

RAVEN! INCOMING BOMB! TAKE COVER, TRENCHES! HUT TWO HUT TWO. WE WILL WIN THIS WAR WHATEVER IT TAKES
Garten of Banban 3
Garten of Banban 3
Played may 6th;
Best bday gift ive ever recieved
Buff Imposter
Buff Imposter
Hilda wanted this on the list, not me

Player april 29th:
Clipped out of bounds, failed milk pick up. Game is nothing
Kidnapped Girl
Kidnapped Girl
Played April 25th:
I don't know why I keep putting these here. They're not even funny.
Animal Soccer World
Animal Soccer World
Waifu Impact
Waifu Impact
Played october 31st

rhe worst day of my life, i saw her. An angel in human* form. Squirting her gun at all my foes. And then i saw another one. Doing the same thing, with a different gun. And oh... could she ever jump. was i not impressed...


¹she looked bad.
A House for Alesa 2
A House for Alesa 2
May 30th 2023

Mr bob is hijacking the yuri car noo

At first i thought these were satirical and made by a woman cause the way these characters look are almost never referenced. And its the same in this game. But boy. You sure let us down, partner. I should of known with the yuri references.
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked
Played may 7th:

My life is now complete! Hilda played the coolest game ever! Dave should be nicer to Alivin (: and she earned 2 gold medals!!!!!chiptastic!!!
Apex Heroines
Apex Heroines
April 5 2024

boobi my assistant. I got a coin.
MythBusters: The Game
MythBusters: The Game
Played dec 10th

uh... the grenade exploded and... uh...myth busted! soo... time to... buy stuff from my own warehouse... maybe.... i think.....where am i..
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Played in march or something

Who cares.
Garten of Banban 4
Garten of Banban 4
Played august 10th:

Ohh opibaby bird opila bird delightfult bird so wide eyed and beautiful how could theu have done this to you you were jjst a baby a small.little baby...

CHOO CHOO CARL.
Hunt Down the Freeman
Hunt Down the Freeman
Sexts
Sexts
May 14th 2023

BOOBS

DILDO

POUND

NIPPLES

<- <- -> <--

... youve unlocked......

FEMALE !!!! Haaaahh haaaaaahhhh hah hah aaahhhhhh (awooga.)
Garten of Banban 6
Garten of Banban 6
Dec 25th

This isnt funny any longer
sad, sad tears of a clown.
whirlpool of
sadness
hildas, deflated
defeated
emptied of joy
button puzzle
Silly Bandz
Silly Bandz
Teaching hilda what silly means with silly bandz

Played may 4th:
Was not expecting an angry birds clone. They didnt even look like silly bandz...
Ore ga Omae wo Mamoru
Ore ga Omae wo Mamoru
"Metroidvania for girls"

Dec 12

thaat was not for girls. I dont know who we were protecting. It obviously wasnt me.
Life of Black Tiger
Life of Black Tiger
Played august 11th:

My sweet female tiger i will kill 7 eagles and 13 buffalo and 100 wolves and a pig for you
Charlotte's Web
Charlotte's Web

Played april 29th:
this pig is so lonely and everyone hates her and wont tell her that shes going to die. RAT?
Hololive Horror
Jan 1st 2024

sees magnifying glass on the floor
oh! its magifying glass breasts giggle this is so good chat we only need 2 more! turns around
scary girl
kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Aaaaaaa
Aaaaa
Aaaaaa
Aaaa
Aa
Aa
A
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Bubba

Played April 12th:

no fucking way
Skull Island: Rise of Kong
Skull Island: Rise of Kong
My Dear Brother Jeff
My Dear Brother Jeff
Played october 20th

my dear brother jeff you were in a hospital. Many laughs at your expense, tearfully tearing eyes away from boobs to finish your game. the struggles i had trying to make hilda finish this. the desperate search for distraction. jajaja

An amendment:
Finally we can understand the story of Jeffrey dahmer the killer. His mommy go crazy and is no importance. Go away. Less boobs this time but more bad words and a slur
Morphine
Morphine
Bubble Bath Babes
Bubble Bath Babes
I wanted her to play Babe ps2.

Played 4/20:
Do you see that? Yeah.... thats right. You know
Mighty Beanz Pocket Puzzles
Mighty Beanz Pocket Puzzles
Played october 20th

i beamed it out of there. i got a super mighty bean. i dont wamt it.
Ao Oni 3
Ao Oni 3
Played on April 18th:

Booooooooooooooooooooo
Yeah! Fighting Girl
Yeah! Fighting Girl
Jan 15th 2024

Artorias: The abyss is consuming me. i can hardly put up a fight anymore, I can feel its way clawing through my body... I can only hope for a swift end.

Debt Collector LuLu Bear: girl! You better put up a fight or i will sell you to goblins! Now do a sexy 13,000 dollar dance.
The Lord of the Rings: Gollum
The Lord of the Rings: Gollum
Played may 30th:

I fell asleep and it was such a good sleep.
Didnt even make it to the breeding grounds however, where the game really goes to die..... gollum, gollum....
Five Night At Lego World
Five Night At Lego World
Jan 1st 2024

Oh my god. I almoast lego'd all over the floor. oh my god
Hippo: Little Red Riding Hood
Hippo: Little Red Riding Hood
Played April 4th:
This game was maybe 12 minutes long. There was a dinosaur that was defied by the valorant hippo. I was playing octopath, oops
New kind of adventure
New kind of adventure
Played April 23rd:

large starberries.
Stray Souls
Stray Souls
Dec 6th

ok bye martha.
A House for Alesa 3
A House for Alesa 3
May 31st 2024

Boy. Where do i begin. The constant references to alesas ass. The 15 second unskippable ass dance after every boss. The fact that there are bosses to begin with. Ass not even being called ass but constantly referred to as cake. Jokes about ass that dont even make any sense (gepetto? More like ge-ass to!). The constant, sad self references, desperately backing off the 'haters' for thinking youre weird for having your protagonist look like that. That it was funny before because it was serious but now it completely doesnt give a shit and is seriously perving over her fucking ass like its the most hilarious thing ever. Youtuber references. The ending. Why are there bosses. I cant even explain how bad the jokes are. Theyre not even jokes its just inserting the word ass or cake into words. Immature, self assassinating, sad.
Babe
Babe
Having an issue finding the rom for this game. Hilda has found "bubble bath babes" instead.

Shelved on March 17th
Hilda played it for 2 hours then gave it a lower score than fucking floigan bros what the fuck.
Case of the Mysterious Death of Keiko Haraeda
Case of the Mysterious Death of Keiko Haraeda
Played september 11th 2001

asshole game
Hansel & Gretel
Hansel & Gretel
What the fuck is this

Played may 24th:

Oouuuuuuuhh oouuuhhhhh nooooooo.... noooooooooo.....
Tag with Ryan
Tag with Ryan
Played august 11th:

IM GOING TO GET YOU mexican RYAN
Alone
Alone
Played october 31st

umm... weird. my dirty dishes and flith rags are stinking more than usual. i do believe the brick of self defense will not come in handy here... the case of the killer with mental illness has yet to come to a close.
Bakeborough
Bakeborough
Bill & Carol
Bill & Carol
Played feb 29th 2024

Carol was put through so much. Shot at with fireworks and hit by a car. Reduced to a life of brain cancer. But she did what others couldnt do, put that bastard Bill behind bars. She will never see her precious bird again, but shes flying high. Sue. Don. Ron. Her brother, potentially named Gary. You dont ever win the game once youre in it. But you can still... make... things... right.

and i raaaaan. I ran so far ☆awaaay☆ i just RAAAAN.... i couldnt get awaaaaay. couldnt get away..... i walk along da aveneue... never thought id meet a girl like youuuuUu meet a girl like yoaauu... red ahyhrhi and shjsh eyes... the kind of eyes that hyp.no.tize me thruuuu. Hypnotize me throughhhh and I Raaannn i ran so far awayyyy i just raaaan i ran all night and adaaay
Collapse Relapse
Collapse Relapse
Dread Weight
Dread Weight
Played august 30th:
Ph my god the cooking was talking and there was a DUCK?!?!? AUUGH?? 4 SPIRITS DID YOU FIND EVERYTHING?????
Extended Stay
Extended Stay
These two are gonna be a real hoot

Played April 18th:

Might i speak to the manager about the failure prostitute i just witnessed who could only scissor and nothing more. Yes, i know she cant afford mouth animations, but surely she can work something out.
Gamer Girl
Gamer Girl
I believe it will come out
Hairy Trees Massacre
Hairy Trees Massacre
May 2024

"Dont judge a book by their cover" or so they say. sometimes this saying is right. sometimes the cover is so loud thag we drown out all other thoughts. i didnt expect her to do what she did. But she did it anyways despite the haters. she won where her father lost. shes here and he is not. she killed bigfoot and gave me.the courauge to go after a 'foot of my own. my back hurts. My eyes hurt
Hilda and the Tower of Lust
Hilda and the Tower of Lust
Played feb 1st

Please reach level 5 in Boobs and Being Licked to access this review
Marble Maid
Marble Maid
Feb 1st

The long lasted emotional struggle between wanting to play monkey ball, and masturbate. finally solved. Thanks man.
Moon Whistle
Moon Whistle
Neko Secret: Homecoming
Neko Secret: Homecoming
Switch store page is scary

Halfway through thid game someone started screaming outside my apartment and threatening to call the cops. But i was dressing up a scary woman. Too busy for such things. Vaginas like open wounds, must be the neko secret?
Pricolage: Idolized
Pricolage: Idolized
Rip Van Bubsy
Rip Van Bubsy
Dec 11th

wet paper towrl.
Sex Life
Sex Life
The Casting of Frank Stone
The Casting of Frank Stone
The Tongue of Doge
The Tongue of Doge
Under the Witch: Beginnings
Under the Witch: Beginnings
Feb 10th 2024

skip the fart scene?

53 Comments


can't wait!!

now i feel inspired to do the same with CURSE ..... if i don't make the list... know it is happening slowly but surely

1 year ago

I'M NOT PLAYING FUCKING ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS
@Hilda what could possibly be bad about chipwrecked!!!!!
it's a ??rhythm game??? can you play with DDR pad?
it'll be fun!
Dead By Daylight and the Arthur game being added feel so mean spirited

1 year ago

I'd love to see that list but regardless I'm keeping him in my thoughts and prayers <3 but it would be very funny if you also made him play floigan bros. Although,, Hilda is my online friend so it's acceptable to spam her 24/7 with floigan threats, however I would be worried about the repercussions if I lived with them :P

1 year ago

@BEAUTIFULBRUTE Maybe someday I can convince myself to play it when I buy an adapter for my ddr pad that for my own sake hopefully doesn't work anymore
@BlazingWaters I spent years of my life in dead by daylight but some people would rather see me fall in the hole I climbed out of for so long

1 year ago

@BlazingWaters this is enrichment for Hildas (:

1 year ago

@CURSE she made it through frogger... she's trained to experience Arthur
It's funny 'cause the first three games seem at the bare minimun very fun, and then the flood gates are opened by Alvin and its friends.

I have no idea what even Mr Tomatos, and frankly, I am VERY scared to know.

1 year ago

@DemonAndGames the first 3 are some of my favorite pieces of art that I genuinely wanna show my friend here but the others are just funny lol
@moschidae <3 i understand
@Hilda ahh, well me & moschidae are the new founders of the get-hilda-an-adapter-for-ddr-pad-and-if-that-one-doesn't-work-a-whole-brand-new-one foundation. accepting sponsors

1 year ago

Buying hilda a ddr pad the SECOND I get my disability check next month

1 year ago

Buying myself a dramatically lit chair to sit in

1 year ago

we are fucking sponsored by ms. lemons !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 year ago

that arthuer and the invisibles stream was insane

1 year ago

Shoutout to Wayne, now I don't have to rummage through Wikipedia to find gems like arthur and floigan bros

1 year ago

Water Horse and Charlotte's web forever stuck in my brain. Also found out wikipedia diving that the dudes who founded the studio that made the original Shadowman, dipped and made a new studio, which then made cheap ass games, including Water Horse and Charlotte's web

1 year ago

Oh my god, im actually shocked by that. What a coincidence... Water Horse/Shadowman crossover when..?

Oh yeah, and thank you for reminding me that I need to make Hilda play Babe as well. I'm sure she'll love it (:

1 year ago

This has nothing to do with anything but they're making a Beverley Hills Chihuahua for adult straight men called Strays. i must remember it.

1 year ago

You don’t REALLY have to though…

1 year ago

Keep talking like that and I'll make you watch Strays

1 year ago

I’ll hopefully be catching some instead

1 year ago

Will Feral (changed his name for the movie) is in it. You will watch Strays.

1 year ago

You should add Wo Long I think it'd be kinda fucked up

1 year ago

Keep talking like that and someone is getting locked in the cupboard again ! Or put into a jar.

1 year ago

A worthy sacrifice for a mere cupboard

1 year ago

Does anyone else have any more bad game recommendations that are short-ish. I'm running out of ideas.

1 year ago

How short?

1 year ago

Uhhh like, 2 hours or less preferably
Barbie secret agent because CURS wouldn’t finish it when i tried to make em play even though he almost beat it !!!!!!!


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