Against the Grain

Titles I'm in the minority on, with justification. No set criteria, avoiding titles I have reviewed. This exists as a small-scale sounding board for thoughts I don't want to articulate into a full review.

Inspired by Angel_Arle and Squigglydot's lists.

Cinco Paus
Cinco Paus
Backloggd avg: 3.2⭐
My rating: 5⭐

In looking at the two negative reviews for this on BL, I think dissenters are missing the point of Cinco Paus and Broughlikes more broadly. Cinco Paus is deliberately obtuse and refuses full understanding. I've played it so much and I'm still terrible at it but I still feel like I'm discovering strategies for a game on a 5x5 grid. Wow!
Altered Beast
Altered Beast
Backloggd avg: 2.5⭐
My rating: 4⭐

Oh, so when Castlevania is stiff and unforgiving it's cool but when Altered Beast does it it's poor design? This is brutal and unrelenting and I love it.
Metal Gear Survive
Metal Gear Survive
Backloggd avg: 1.4⭐
My rating: 4⭐

For starters, y'all didn't actually play it. The media circus around this misrepresented what the game actually was (cough Dunkey cough James Sterling). What happened to Kojima and his team is abhorrent, but this game borne of Metal Gear's ashes is great. I think it clicked with me because I loved Phantom Pain's systems and gameplay but the repetition of its missions as I went for 100% made me not want to touch it ever again. Metal Gear Survive remedies this by displacing and repurposing those mechanics. This is probably the only survival game I like. Sorry you're too blinded by hate to understand.
Sonic 3D Blast
Sonic 3D Blast
Backloggd avg: 2.3⭐
My rating: 4⭐

Just because you can run fast doesn't mean you should run fast, y'all. This is comfort food.
Sonic R
Sonic R
Backloggd avg: 2.7⭐
My rating: 4⭐

I genuinely believe people's problems with this stem from skill issues. It is unconventional in its approach but you have to meet it halfway.
Bangai-O Spirits
Bangai-O Spirits
Backloggd avg: 3.6⭐
My rating: 2⭐

There's very little meat fun in these gym mats *Bangai-O Spirits.
Batman: Arkham Asylum
Batman: Arkham Asylum
Backloggd avg: 3.8⭐
My rating: 2⭐

I'm certain part of the problem is I started this after finishing Arkham City and playing some Arkham Knight. But also nothing interesting happens and everything is sewage green and I never felt clever for doing anything. This one does NOT make you feel like Batman.
BioShock
BioShock
Backloggd avg: 4.0⭐
My rating: 2⭐

This is the video game equivalent of a late-Bush era SNL skit. It is a downgrade from the System Shock games in every way, and the moral quandary of [kill child OR don't kill child] is toothless.
Cruelty Squad
Cruelty Squad
Backloggd avg: 4.2⭐
My rating: 2⭐

Aesthetically I adore it. Otherwise it feels like a very early Source game (derogatory). I also feel it doesn't actually have anything to say about hypercapitalism beyond a superficial veneer.
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Hardspace: Shipbreaker
Backloggd avg: 3.7⭐
My rating: 2⭐

I appreciate their commitment to telling a story in their space junkyard sim but I just want to break ships. And there are only like six types of ship!
Hollow Knight
Hollow Knight
Backloggd avg: 4.4⭐
My rating: 2⭐

Though mechanically sound, nothing Hollow Knight does is an actual advancement of the Search Action genre. That would be fine if it refined those reiterated mechanics but it chooses not to. It could be improved substantially by making resources actually matter, or having a more palpable consequence for death. I wish it didn't try as it did to appeal to a broad spectrum of Search Action players, and instead sought its own identity.
Kirby Air Ride
Kirby Air Ride
Backloggd avg: 3.8⭐
My rating: 2⭐

I understand why people adore this as much as they do, but it feels actually bad to play this. Something about the combination of course design, speed, and camera angle makes me queasy. City Trial is kinda fun (if innocuous) but it suffers the same problems as Smash Run. Without knowing what the final objective is, your powering up is aimless. It's also a lot of build up for something very minuscule. I like Top Ride though! I know I'm the only one!
NieR: Automata
NieR: Automata
Backloggd avg: 4.3⭐
My rating: 2⭐

Weak constituent parts which synthesise into a sub-par game. Also I just don't like how Yoko Taro presents what he tries to say. I think its messages about how life and personhood are defined are respectable and serve as a good jumping off point for deeper philosophical inquiry, but it kinda just gets its toes wet then stops. The music is really good though, and I love the main cast's designs.
Old School RuneScape
Old School RuneScape
Backloggd avg: 3.7⭐
My rating: 2⭐

The canary in the coalmine of reborn nostalgia. See my WotLK review for why these resuscitations don't work.
SuperHot
SuperHot
Backloggd avg: 3.7⭐
My rating: 2⭐

The VR experience is astounding but the base game is just boring and up its own ass.
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
The Legend of Zelda: Link's Awakening
Backloggd avg: 3.9⭐
My rating: 2⭐

Developers need to understand that some remakes make no sense because the original is so tightly constructed for a particular system. Link's Awakening was designed around the specific constraints of the Game Boy hardware, and porting it to a platform without any of those limitations means it can only be understood separate from its new hardware. I guess what I'm saying is, this sure does feel like a Game Boy game rereleased on not-a-Game-Boy.
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time
Backloggd avg: 4.2⭐
My rating: 2⭐

Admittedly I haven't played this since the WiiWare release and I was in a bad headspace then, so I'll take this L for now.
Valheim
Valheim
Backloggd avg: 3.5⭐
My rating: 2⭐

I love the idea of Valheim as a more deliberate and intentional survival game. It doesn't really work though.
WarioWare: Smooth Moves
WarioWare: Smooth Moves
Backloggd avg: 3.9⭐
My rating: 2⭐

The microgames are too slow and imprecise, and this is exacerbated by the player being informed ahead of time what Baton form to use. If part of the challenge and joy of WarioWare is figuring out how to control the microgame, why would you tell me straight up how to control the microgame?
Golf Story
Golf Story
Backloggd avg: 3.6⭐
My rating: 1⭐

The idea of this is so compelling as a fan of Mario's RPG golf romps, but those excel because the core of the game is still golf. Golf Story's extraneous parts have the potential to be great but their placement here feels rote. The story is needlessly quirky (and slow-paced), the quests are broadly uninteresting, and its locales are effectively superficial. They could have leaned harder into the RPG parts through the addition of mechanics which are more than just golf. If the game is effectively just going to be golf, I'd rather play a straight golf game or a better blended golf RPG. Hopefully Sports Story will be better.
Gris
Gris
Backloggd avg: 3.6⭐
My rating: 1⭐

No more games about depression, especially no more boring games about depression.
Inscryption
Inscryption
Backloggd avg: 4.1⭐
My rating: 1⭐

That it declines in gameplay quality with each act is well-known but I don't find the first act's gameplay enjoyable to begin with. I'm also sick of metafiction that doesn't meaningfully use its status as a metatext to its benefit.
Overwatch
Overwatch
Backloggd avg: 3.1⭐
My rating: 1⭐

When everyone's a hero, nobody is. Removing duplicate heroes was a mistake.
Ratchet & Clank
Ratchet & Clank
Backloggd avg: 3.7⭐
My rating: 1⭐

Yes I was filtered by the swamp planet but you also don't really do anything? The platforming has a weird momentum and specific gravity to it that made me concerned my PS2 was broken. I think the gunplay could have been improved through use of the analogue triggers but oh well.
The Messenger
The Messenger
Backloggd avg: 3.8⭐
My rating: 1⭐

The Ready Player One of video games. Chilling.
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt
The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt
Backloggd avg: 4.2⭐
My rating: 1⭐

I'm sure the story is great but the combat is inconsequential and just feels bad. Also using Witcher vision is weird and does not make me feel like I'm doing actual investigatory works. And it has a crafting system. Yuck!

6 Comments


This comment was deleted
I love this list!

I wanted to do something similar but chickened out and pivoted to Pleasantly Surprised instead.

1 year ago

you can choose the game at the end of City Trial in the menu before you start it.

1 year ago

Please tell that to my friends who strap me to a chair and force me to play Kirby Air Ride against my will

1 year ago

I wouldn't say it's as hyper-referential as Ready Player One (sorry for making it sound like it was, I was just trying to convey that it stinks). I think others have articulated its particular shortcomings better than I can but I'll at least say boy howdy, I sure didn't appreciate the Jordan Peterson reference.

1 year ago

@Detchibe your friends are cooler than you, you'd best be more like them. Fake Gamer how dare you not enjoy it


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