A game like no other, rife with so many intricate pieces of lore and mindboggling, metatextual clusterfucks. Possibly the greatest eventuality of what MGS1 could have ever been. Gameplay is utterly flawless and far, far, far ahead of its time.

I love the cast way too much to ever fully acknowledge the awful, depraved and sad human beings they really are. While they keep themselves sane with witty banter and utterly retarded non-sequitur dialogues, I find that it has a similar effect on the player. Ends on an epilogue with the most lovely, heartfelt "enjoy life" message in all of gaming.

I, myself, am yet to understand why it is that I love MGS4 so. I just do. How else do you end a story as monumental and intimately poignant as Snake's?

This one's more so for the frenetic, frantic, fuckfest gameplay and the sleek, sensual, sexy Shinkawa designs. Not much of a story to latch on to, but there's a penultimate boss fight to eat your heart out to your heart's content till your heart explodes and there's bloody chunks on your lifeless corpse.

"UHHHHHH FUCK! DEMON'S SOULS IS TOO FUCKIN' HARD! I HATE THIS GAME I QUIT... WAIT! NOBODY BEATS ME, DEMON'S SOULS IS SKULL CRUSHINGLY FRUSTRATING AND SENDS ME INTO A BLIND HOMICIDAL APE FIT. BUT I LOVE IT! I LOVE HARD GAMES CAUSE LIFE IS HARD AND I'M A DAMN REALIST. YOU CAN STRIKE ME DOWN A HUNDRED, THOUSAND, MILLION TIMES, AND ILL BURST OUTTA MY GRAVE WITH A TEN-TON RAGE BONER READY TO BEAT THE LIVING DRAGON, DEMON 'N DEVIL DICK OUTTA YA. I NEVER QUIT!"

Oh man, where do I even begin. Has there ever been a piece of media so perfectly tailored to your interests that it's weird you never experienced it sooner? Well, you probably guessed by the way I'm setting up this sentence-to-sentence structure, but No More Heroes IS that for me. Like, fuck. This game's so damn good. Whether it be the on-the-nose, self-referential circlejerk dialogues; the fixation on otaku and mark culture; the creative, Kojima-like boss fights; or the general up-and-coming, down-to-earth tonality of it all, No More Heroes never ceases to flaw me in its niche specificity and one-of-a-kind uniqueness. And it's all brought together by the man of the hour: Travis Touchdown! Wow, what a man—am I right?

Beautiful, haunting, melancholic, arousing, peaceful, terrifying, harmonious, discordant—all the thing, really. NieR is just utterly beautiful. It's beauty—pure, untouched, untainted beauty, masterfully distilled into one virtual package by the illustrious hands of Yoko Taro, Natori Sawako and all the talented, talented individuals at Cavia (well platinum for this one). Kaine is one of the most special characters in all of fiction, and, well, this is her game. Soooo, naturally, logically, understandably, it's the best game.

Literary, classical, guttural, viscer—I did this with NieR too, didn't I? Why do I always use this stupid adjective listing cliche? I'll tell ya why. It's cause I'm a lazy, mediocre writer, that's why, haha. Anyway, Drakengard is fucking great. It's a brutal and wholistically uncomfortable experience. It's like petrol: it smells fucking awful and, even though you shouldn't, you keep smelling it anyways you filthy fucking animal. Caim's basically that—a petrol smelling, Ichise-lookin, legion-commanding, dragon-riding, dragon-fucking, genocidal maniac, and I love him for it. Give me more protagonists like this. He doesn't even talk. Thank god, fuck talking, I've had about up to hear—I mean here—I've had it about up to here with talking. I don't wanna hear it anymore.

A game tie-in to my favourite anime film? And it's an adaptation of the prequel novel set before the events of Oshii's masterpiece? And it was developed by the Ace Combat team? Sign me up and where do I start! Oh, the Wii huh. Huh. And the controls are inverted. Huh.

I have never, ever, cried so much at a damn video game in all my life. Let alone one packaged and framed on such a tiny handheld device. The amount of fucking content and emotion crammed into that little Vita screen is just unfathomable. Any room or space you play P4G in becomes instantly immersed in a never-ending, life-giving colour. Even in this game's more sombre moments, its heart and soul is never lost. And don't even get me started on this masterpiece's OST. I may sound like a giddy, gay fanboy the way I stupidly preach this game's wonder, but the truth is, I used to be its biggest detractor. Thankfully, that time has passed and I've come out the other side a changed man having experienced P4G in all its glory, and without a doubt in my mind. Oh yeah, It's the best, baby, and don't you forget it!