Games I Will Force Hilda To Play

Everything but the first 44 games are very very bad and potentially offensive, but hildas must endure

Played october 31st

rhe worst day of my life, i saw her. An angel in human* form. Squirting her gun at all my foes. And then i saw another one. Doing the same thing, with a different gun. And oh... could she ever jump. was i not impressed...


¹she looked bad.
Played september 1st:
That horror was sorted. Battleship time!
Played august 12:

If the protagonist was anything but mario this would be an average rpgmaker game but watching my friend mario break his back in a fall down a pit and choke on his own blood left me speechless. There is nothing in this game that pertains to mario outside of his appearance. Why would you want to hurt mario? He is so nice and can jump really high and has 3 lives and love for everyone and you hurt him? A lot? Concerned.
Played august 10th:

Ohh opibaby bird opila bird delightfult bird so wide eyed and beautiful how could theu have done this to you you were jjst a baby a small.little baby...

CHOO CHOO CARL.
Jan 10th

Really cool. Really scary. Really egg-like and really colors.
Played august 11th:

My sweet female tiger i will kill 7 eagles and 13 buffalo and 100 wolves and a pig for you
we need to make a hilda world

Feb 8th

GOD. WHERE. IS THE. CHUPICABRA. WHERES THE SPY ISLAND. WHERE IS IT, WHERE DID YOU HIDE HER. WHERES THE PUPPY OUTFIT, THE DRACULAS. IVE BEEN MOVING FORWSRD AND YOUVE BEEN MOVING BACK
Played october 20th

i beamed it out of there. i got a super mighty bean. i dont wamt it.
Played august 8th:
My poor demented woman and her festering aerola disease suffers a grand mal seizure with every orgasm... SAD.
Played august 4th:
FUCK YOU JORDAN HANGTIME.
Played august 5th:
Erhm... THIS isnt the right medicine. I feel a bit gluey. A bit shoey.
Played on august 3rd:

Oh my god he was a killer. Oh ym christ. All those apple children.
Played dec 11th

oh my god he was so speedy he was so fucking speedy have you ever seen anything so fucking speedy? I dont think so
Played august 3rd:
Wetty betty?
Played august 11th:

IM GOING TO GET YOU mexican RYAN
Played october 7th:

!! LIVE P REACTION !!

:3>

Ohhh my god he got turned into a snowcone. Ohhh my god.
Played july 12th:

There were so many tears. So much sadness. Visceral embarassment to the hands of Pig. But there could only be one to win the Slop Bucket Challenge. One who slopped it better than anyone ever could. And that person was, of course... Player.
Played august 7th:
5 second game. did not survive.
Hilda bought this

Played july 12th:

I LOVE REIMU ! !
You will never be finfin (on planet teo)
Played june 17th:

There was a lot of care put into it for what they had to work with. Jack black ascii art, and a great speedrun to boot....
Played august 30th:
Ph my god the cooking was talking and there was a DUCK?!?!? AUUGH?? 4 SPIRITS DID YOU FIND EVERYTHING?????
Switch store page is scary

Halfway through thid game someone started screaming outside my apartment and threatening to call the cops. But i was dressing up a scary woman. Too busy for such things. Vaginas like open wounds, must be the neko secret?
Played june 7th:

I was painting. There was a cargo bay and a man and a friend and the friend kept dying and oh my godness... got thing'd. No puppy! Sad!
Played may 30th:
Sopranos knowledge 0 but was expecting worse. Controls like Yakuza ripping GTA's eyes out. but theres massive chest in this game WITH. NIPPLE. oh my god! Squirt.
Played may 30th:

Was not expecting multiple jokes at the mentally disabled's expense and a small person companion that you punt into basketball hoops and use as a weapon. I hate ash.
Better

Played june 5th:

Game has an unpleasant feeling but i am glad everyone made up and was happy forever.
Played may 30th:

I fell asleep and it was such a good sleep.
Didnt even make it to the breeding grounds however, where the game really goes to die..... gollum, gollum....
Played june 4th:

I go to the diner to get my diner popcorn and it is so fucking dark that i just wander around for 5 minutes and then the game ends.
Played august 5th:
I do not believe this game opens with a 2 hour cutscene about a very threatening man named jokester54.
Played may 21st:

That boy got lost in the woods and his dad did not care. Wife makes dinner and BECOMES dinner! Shit eating kid gets served, what a fail.... jpg of old woman.... jpg of troll.....
Played may 21st:
I thought this might be similar to ao oni but it wasnt


I was playing dinkum.... my pleep grew up into a big pleep. yayaayayay
This is the right game. My apologies.

Played may 24th:

Still not sure this is the right game but that could be because there was some kind of weird curse on the game where dialogue would loop and the screen looked doubled. Barbie was a horse and ran into an invisible wall making the race impossible to finish. Hi barbie.....

The trial is trying to get this piece of shit to download
Played may 18th:

This is not the right game
Played may 18th:
You can push people into the water and they will die and drop eggs. And then, nothing...
Squirts older sister

Play july 18th:

Uh, kind of a sleepy type spray. Definitely a vomit and spit type spray. A bit slime too. Gdq submission soon.
Played may 7th: soo evil.. oh my god... so wicked, and twisted... i really just did not know when it would end, the blood and muck and sadness and ect.
Played july 25th:
This was like a strange bugsnax esque game but the implied religious symbolism was strange
December 20th

omg shes about to be crushed by that falling tv! but my clothes got dirrty.. life is so hard and im so yucky.... jesus fucking christ
Played may 4th:
Strange little game where you open a door and turn on some lights.
Played april 30th:

This made me appreciate the enemy placement of normal mario a lot more
Hilda wanted this on the list, not me

Player april 29th:
Clipped out of bounds, failed milk pick up. Game is nothing
Played april 29th:

Game was suprisingly cute but i beaned it out of there quick
Played may 7th:
Not my bday anymore but hilda still has birthday fun 4 everyone......
Played june 1st:
I was looking forward to it but nothing really makes any sense and the hook feels like it doesnt exist. The dialogue feels stilted and offputting and none of the jokes landed. There is no horror or sense of anticipation. I have never ever ever gotten bored with a game but i got too restless to even continue watching. Really, really weird execution.
Played April 28th

Puppet combo Is a hack and makes the most unfun games imaginable
Played April 25th:
I don't know why I keep putting these here. They're not even funny.
Played April 23rd:

large starberries.
Played April 25th:

Frustrating and stupid boooooo booo....
white! White white white.....
Played April 23:

slender? Woman slender? female slender sauntering sexily down the hallway as I collect my books? My sexy books?
Played july 18th:

Is mort any less of a chicken for being a hero? He saves us, the children.....he walked on water. He walked on cubes. we wouldnt be anything without his courage.
Played june 6th:

I hate amnesia and i hate their games and i hate reading 500 notes and i hate world war 1 and i hate the french and i hate that gay glasses dude that died in a gay fashion and i hate finding keys and i hate the gun you only use to shoot barrels and doors and i hate that awful awful awful wet shit of an ending that i stayed up to watch but i do like world whirls guy.
played on April 22:
this is the worst and it should not exist
Played April 23:

Sadly this was not as entertaining as the other games made by Kona5... we kept getting lost.
Played April 22nd:

It's thr killar!!! Aaaa!!!!!! Loop the killar.... get on gens..m. sprint burst .. . .
Played April 21st:
This game had a really bad atmosphere to it, so much so that I didn't get to laugh at it being funny. Very uncomfortable but not how the game intended
Played at a date

Apparently someone went on a solo bubble adventure and now i will never know. what is it? the bubble. the popping.
These two are gonna be a real hoot

Played April 18th:

Might i speak to the manager about the failure prostitute i just witnessed who could only scissor and nothing more. Yes, i know she cant afford mouth animations, but surely she can work something out.
Play April 23rd:
Push barrel up hill for more information about our scary baddie boobie game
Played may 18th:
I hate this
Played some time in june

It was a very interesting and nostalgic ps2 game. I wish there was a English release so i could see what they were saying. There were a lot of spiders
Played on April 18th:

Booooooooooooooooooooo
Teaching hilda what silly means with silly bandz

Played may 4th:
Was not expecting an angry birds clone. They didnt even look like silly bandz...
Played April 12:

If you wanna be my lover if you wanna be my lover if you wanna be my lover if you wanna be my lover if you wanna be my lover if you
Played june 8th:

I was playing a game and listening to her play... hearing about sexist ghosts haunting frat women was more entertaining than anything i would of witnessed
I hope this is the right cat go, apparently many cats go

Played April 11th:
it went

Played April 4th: you move very slow and there's so many invisible walls.
I don't even think this is the worst i just wanna see what she thinks

Played March 28th: aaa scary aa aaaa
SAW!!!!! I wanna play a game!!!!! Lol

Played March 24th

i hate this.
Found on switch store. Looks incomprehensible.

Played April 4th:
This game appears to be overly "girly" and cute but then the main character has skimpy anime clothes and breast physics. It's a bit sad cause it could of been something.
Played on April 17th:

Sex? Yes please!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Played again April 21st:
I no longer associate with Mr. Powers
At my local grocery store there is a place where you could dump off children, and my mom left me there a few times while she was running errands. They had a ps2 with this and the Robots (movie) game and I played them frequently. I remember being mystified with stuarts skateboard.

Played March 27th: hildas mind is so fucked
Played April 4th:
This game was maybe 12 minutes long. There was a dinosaur that was defied by the valorant hippo. I was playing octopath, oops
Played in march or something

Who cares.
I wanted her to play Babe ps2.

Played 4/20:
Do you see that? Yeah.... thats right. You know
"Jesse we have to cook" - hilda (white)

Played March 27th: Gordon was a very. Proud. Man.
What the fuck is this

Played may 24th:

Oouuuuuuuhh oouuuhhhhh nooooooo.... noooooooooo.....

Played april 29th:
this pig is so lonely and everyone hates her and wont tell her that shes going to die. RAT?
Having an issue finding the rom for this game. Hilda has found "bubble bath babes" instead.

Shelved on March 17th
Hilda played it for 2 hours then gave it a lower score than fucking floigan bros what the fuck.

53 Comments


can't wait!!

now i feel inspired to do the same with CURSE ..... if i don't make the list... know it is happening slowly but surely

1 year ago

I'M NOT PLAYING FUCKING ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS
@Hilda what could possibly be bad about chipwrecked!!!!!
it's a ??rhythm game??? can you play with DDR pad?
it'll be fun!
Dead By Daylight and the Arthur game being added feel so mean spirited

1 year ago

I'd love to see that list but regardless I'm keeping him in my thoughts and prayers <3 but it would be very funny if you also made him play floigan bros. Although,, Hilda is my online friend so it's acceptable to spam her 24/7 with floigan threats, however I would be worried about the repercussions if I lived with them :P

1 year ago

@BEAUTIFULBRUTE Maybe someday I can convince myself to play it when I buy an adapter for my ddr pad that for my own sake hopefully doesn't work anymore
@BlazingWaters I spent years of my life in dead by daylight but some people would rather see me fall in the hole I climbed out of for so long

1 year ago

@BlazingWaters this is enrichment for Hildas (:

1 year ago

@CURSE she made it through frogger... she's trained to experience Arthur
It's funny 'cause the first three games seem at the bare minimun very fun, and then the flood gates are opened by Alvin and its friends.

I have no idea what even Mr Tomatos, and frankly, I am VERY scared to know.

1 year ago

@DemonAndGames the first 3 are some of my favorite pieces of art that I genuinely wanna show my friend here but the others are just funny lol
@moschidae <3 i understand
@Hilda ahh, well me & moschidae are the new founders of the get-hilda-an-adapter-for-ddr-pad-and-if-that-one-doesn't-work-a-whole-brand-new-one foundation. accepting sponsors

1 year ago

Buying hilda a ddr pad the SECOND I get my disability check next month

1 year ago

Buying myself a dramatically lit chair to sit in

1 year ago

we are fucking sponsored by ms. lemons !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 year ago

that arthuer and the invisibles stream was insane

1 year ago

Shoutout to Wayne, now I don't have to rummage through Wikipedia to find gems like arthur and floigan bros

1 year ago

Water Horse and Charlotte's web forever stuck in my brain. Also found out wikipedia diving that the dudes who founded the studio that made the original Shadowman, dipped and made a new studio, which then made cheap ass games, including Water Horse and Charlotte's web

1 year ago

Oh my god, im actually shocked by that. What a coincidence... Water Horse/Shadowman crossover when..?

Oh yeah, and thank you for reminding me that I need to make Hilda play Babe as well. I'm sure she'll love it (:

1 year ago

This has nothing to do with anything but they're making a Beverley Hills Chihuahua for adult straight men called Strays. i must remember it.

1 year ago

You don’t REALLY have to though…

1 year ago

Keep talking like that and I'll make you watch Strays

1 year ago

I’ll hopefully be catching some instead

1 year ago

Will Feral (changed his name for the movie) is in it. You will watch Strays.

1 year ago

You should add Wo Long I think it'd be kinda fucked up

1 year ago

Keep talking like that and someone is getting locked in the cupboard again ! Or put into a jar.

1 year ago

A worthy sacrifice for a mere cupboard

1 year ago

Does anyone else have any more bad game recommendations that are short-ish. I'm running out of ideas.

1 year ago

How short?

1 year ago

Uhhh like, 2 hours or less preferably
Barbie secret agent because CURS wouldn’t finish it when i tried to make em play even though he almost beat it !!!!!!!


Last updated: