Twennytoo Five Hundo
In future year AD2022 I apparently logged 500 video games (mostly just played, not finished - can you even imagine). Am I proud of it? Of course not, brother, pride is a sin. Here they are in their entirety in order of play:
500 Games
Bad. Move on.
More Kunio-kun that I cannot abide.
Looks really cool, but I wasn't too bothered about finishing it. I'll pick it back up at some point.
Chills when they hit "of the HIGHEST POWERS"
Just not that engaging after playing a bunch of games that were the same thing but better.
Very cool game! Combat isn't really anything all that special but all the stages are so fun and adventurous and, well, magical. Made me want to watch a Sinbad movie, a feeling I have never had before in my life.
Completely terrible. There ought to be a law against shit like this.
A friend and I make a point of occasionally playing through games in what we affectionately call the Dumbass genre (see: much of the Xbox 360 catalogue). This is one of the ones we didn't feel like finishing.
Still playing this, it's pretty cool! Obviously doesn't have the budget and weight of even the GBA Ace Attorneys behind it but the total devotion to the hard boiled clichés is very endearing. I like how much of it is just down to legwork. So far I think I would play a bunch more of these.
Gave this a go because I've been interested in seeing the Tsui Hark film. Not really all that much to it and environments felt quite drab to me. Worse ways to spend the time though.
Some sections ended up just being way too frustrating for me to actually finish this game, but everything up to that point was absolute top notch kusoge. Amazing how janky and low-rent one game can be. Highly recommended.
Not really into the style of it but it plays pretty well! Was surprised at this one.
Can't really remember anything of it, but I feel like I should.
Doing A Henshin in this game does not make you any more powerful than you are as normal-ass Takeshi Hongo. What the fvkk. This one hurt.
Decent enough for an arcade movie adaptation, although it's a little long. It's Irem so it looks good.
Another good Cave game. It's no Ketsui, though!
Don't have much to say about this other than I think I appreciate this style of dungeon crawler more than I actually enjoy playing them.
Impressive amount of playable characters by the end of the game but otherwise not really all that great, I thought.
Gave it a bash because of the associations it's had with Castlevania, but I wasn't that into it. That one track is still a banger though.
Another Neo Geo release that feels like a relic for the time.
Decidedly less cool.
I don't think I really got this one. Might need to replay.
Game was fine, but the thing that stuck with me the most was the music.
It's no Skull & Crossbones.
Replay. Very cool concept but sadly a little clunky in execution. A game where you wish there had been a sequel to really refine things.
Okay, by this point I'd played a bunch that were better so it didn't do that much for me.
Same story, just can't match up to the main games.
A much worse NES platformer that I played for the license.
Cool idea that doesn't quite come together. I can't say I've read Mazin Saga; maybe it's the same!
Wasn't really into this either. Wouldn't be the Game Gear if it wasn't hit or miss, I guess!
I don't really remember anything about this, but I shelved it, so I must have thought it was decent enough to go back to at some point.
Another NES platformer that wasn't very good. Think I was playing these because they had translations.
Gunstar Heroes but harder. There's a bunch of points in this where it feels like there is exactly one and only one way you can not take damage, so it can be pretty frustrating.
Jesus, these avalanche sections! Whose idea was this?
The only thing I can remember about this is that I didn't like it.
It feels really difficult in these Psikyo joints to claw back your momentum after getting killed. Like, moreso than most other shmups. And I get killed a lot so that's trouble!
Haven't played any of the other games in this series but I didn't expect this to be as linear as it is. I guess it's okay but I can't say I was too impressed.
Wanted to replay the Blade Runner game after watching some Trancers and gave this a go. Decided it just looked a bit too weird at higher res/framerate and dropped it to go back to the original.
Got suckered in by the Hiroaki artwork. Lackluster beatemup for anime perverts. I'm good, thanks.
It took me a bit to realise how you actually speed up, and then when I did I found I was either trying to win the race or trying to shoot stuff but trying to do both wasn't really working out. Interesting experiment but I'm not in a hurry to replay it.
This shifted between regular respawning and moving back to checkpoints on death, which was very annoying!
Just okay. By this point I'd definitely cemented that I preferred Cave to Psikyo.
Do celebrities get mad when people make shitty games with their name on them? I would.
Just a very average game. Apparently a Playstation launch title in Japan? Only thing really notable about it.
I think I'd like this more if it was less about the lock-on. Sometimes I just want to shoot what's directly in front of me.
Has the same problem of being visually unremarkable that 3 has, but I was actually able to finish this one, so that means it's great, excellent, etc.
Beatemup/adventure game hybrid that isn't too great but has some real slick animation. There's one kick in this that I've absolutely seen before but I can't place where from. I think it might be a KOF2002 animation.
Even worse than regular River City Ransom, because it introduces a bunch of characters who would be cool in any other game but are stuck in this one.
Think this was an Eighting one? Tiny bullets. Tiny!
Why does this game look like this? Who put them up to it?
Another kind of drudgy SNK effort but worth a look for KOF history reasons.
A weird one. A dungeon crawl-brawler, it seemed pretty interesting but I feel like I must have missed something with the combat. Surely can't be as basic as it seemed to me?
Fine I guess, but it can be really hard to make out what's actually going on in these polygonal ones.
Wanted to like this more than I did (due to it being a few characters removed from being called Dynasty Warriors).
A better game than Lords of Thunder despite coming first.
I really wanted to like this, but it's too slow. Put Sonic Blast Man in a better game please.
Cool stuff here, almost rhythm-game like. Some of the bosses can be frustrating but I had a good time with it.
I liked ESP Ra.De. enough to buy this. Some tweaks, more content, fine by me!
Much better than the original. Weird, kind of grotesque designs and Winkysoft doing a Winkysoft as hell soundtrack. Final boss music just sounds like a Masou Kishin track, which is a-OK by me.
Metal Slug-ish, but before Metal Slug, by the folk who would make Metal Slug. Covering a wider arc because of your dual guns is cool!
Konami does X-Men x Altered Beast. Solid, except for the fact that your health is constantly going down. Playing through this genre exposes you to some of the most heinous shit ever designed to take money from kids. I played as MacGyver.
Adding in live-action FMVs are fun but otherwise this is an immediate step down from 3.
Now this is how you do an arena brawler, Renegade! Silly and fun. Bouncing someone's head off the concrete as an OTG attack is extremely satisfying. "The Slash Skate Screamers" is an incredible name for a gang.
Replay. I finished this as a kid and remember thinking it was cool. Adult me is less enamored with it.
Pretty run-of-the-mill stuff other than the gimmick of being able to smash enemies into the background and break it, which does not get old.
This is probably one of Konami's better licensed efforts if you're a fan of the comics, but I don't really give a shit about Asterix, sorry.
Okay idea but I don't think EDF gameplay needed streamlining. Also pretty racist!
This is what I wish wizards in movies and stuff were like. Just firing huge amounts of magic shit at everyone constantly. Doing a highest level Dragon's Dogma spell 50 times a minute. ZAP
A little sluggish for the time, but full of cool monster designs for you to punch. Also has a fun title to say.
Kind of cool, but just a little too annoying for me.
Similar to Battle Garegga, so it's decent enough but not one of my favourites. The number of ships available is pretty good!
Trying very hard to be the NES games, but not quite managing it. A bit sad about this one.
Okay NES platformer, only really playing it for the license.
The tank controls just suck all the air out of this one - player mobility sucks and enemy mobility does not. Wakle Skade is a very funny name for a protagonist though.
Pretty standard stuff for the time, I guess. It's interesting to see what characters Sega were throwing out before they came up with Sonic.
Replay. Superseded by the remakes but this is still okay. Obviously the music rules.
Absurd amounts of creativity, just throwing wild scenarios and locales at you constantly, but feels pretty dated to play. SNK Style! There it is!
Played this to test out an Apple TV I had to get for work. Thoroughly depressing.
Decent enough indie shmup, although it doesn't really have much visual personality.
Another great OST. Game is extremely hard, though.
Indiana Jones shoots hordes of animal poachers and also an alien (?). I dunno, I think this game is pretty cool!
Pretty decent game! An oddity in that it's very clearly trying to ape the SNK/KOF look - not really something I associate with the genre. It's pretty basic, but short and sweet, worth playing if you can grab it cheap. You may also notice that this is the fourth game of this genre on the list so far that has Genzoman cover art. There can be too much of a good thing.
I feel that I have nothing but hate in my heart for Kunio-kun and his dumb little buddies.
Replay. SNK tries a Final Fight rip but with added ripoff music. Okay, but again feels like they can't keep up with the curve.
I was hoping for a cutesy DW4, but this was just clunky and slow. Really weird considering DW3 had already come out by this point, they obviously knew how to make a good musou. Odd.
Not terrible, but the SNK stuff always feels like it's behind the curve even at this relatively early stage.
Started this whilst I was on a bit of a Holmes kick from watching some of the Jeremy Brett series. I cooled off but I'll get back to it eventually!
They do the Lightning Strikes Again bit in this one too, and it still rules.
Darius Gaiden's little brother. Great atmosphere and boss designs makes up for slightly subpar gameplay.
Woooof. I actually finished this one and I have no idea why - it's not fun at all.
The title of this game is so funny. It's like a weird post-apocalyptic setting! Undercover cops for what?!
Anyway it's decent, it's Irem so everything has that slightly Metal Sluggy look.
Anyway it's decent, it's Irem so everything has that slightly Metal Sluggy look.
It's really fun that a game devoted to a mainstay Italian cinema duo exists, and it looks really good, but the gameplay could never be accused of being deep. Whole bunch of beatemups like this.
From what I remember this was the sequel to Sorcer Striker? Hasn't really stuck in the mind much for me. Dimahoo is a very fun name to say though. Dimahoo, Dimahoo, Dimahoo!
Didn't blow me away but it's fine. I'll play it a bit more at some point.
Not a good game at all, but the obvious big thing here is that it's one of the first instances of microtransactions, and is pure evil.
Actually pretty good! Just a shame that it contains Doug "The Nostalgia Critic" Walker. If you play it, just try to pretend he's not there.
There's something I can never quite put my finger on about 3DS platformers. They always feel like they have pretty similar physics to them, and I don't think those feel particularly good. Didn't jive with this but you could probably do worse.
Okay I don't remember this one.
A very basic 3D beatemup, but you can smash enemies into tons of stuff or smash enemies with tons of stuff, so that's good. I like the main guy's brown leather jacket/red gloves combo!
Replay. So, so boring, which is a huge shame considering the license. Come on.
4 Comments
Damn this is impressive
Did you complete Ring Fit?!
@Vee this took me days lol
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
Vee
1 year ago
Bayou Billy is one of the most unfun NES games I ever played, goddamn what a slog-filled and mean-spirited game.