Dreamer
480 Reviews liked by Dreamer
Ultrakill
2020
I'll give it 5 stars once it comes out of early access.
Xenoblade Chronicles
2010
Mid. There is no other word for it. This is mid. It's embarassing.
Xenoblade 1 fans will claim that their cynical product is a "masterpiece" because of its character deaths yet these same fans will have the audacity to mock Justian Roiland's seminal work of art, High on Life for brilliant and original deconstruction of the video game genre by allowing players to kill a child, something that no video game has ever done before. To any Xenoblade 1 fan reading this, go back to watching MCU movies and eating McDonalds before ever daring to insult true works of art like High on Life ever again.
Xenoblade 1 fans will claim that their cynical product is a "masterpiece" because of its character deaths yet these same fans will have the audacity to mock Justian Roiland's seminal work of art, High on Life for brilliant and original deconstruction of the video game genre by allowing players to kill a child, something that no video game has ever done before. To any Xenoblade 1 fan reading this, go back to watching MCU movies and eating McDonalds before ever daring to insult true works of art like High on Life ever again.
this is mr. sekiro. he have sword and go clang clang. he can't die. he kill bad person and big monsters. he get bigger sword that glow red. monkey throw poo poo at him. his only personality trait is shinobi. he is lovely.
Shantae
2002
One of the most notable examples of the "Mandela Effect Theory" is that some people remember Risky Boots as having massive G sized boobs when in fact, hers are only F++ sized ones.
Dead Rising 2
2010
John Von DeadRising2: "Hmmm, the third act of the game needs something to spice it up... But what?..."
Richard McGasZombie: "Erm, what if we added in new gas zombies with twice the health, hyper aggression, a distance spit attack that stuns you, an insta-grab that leads to a two-step QTE, and we put them literally everywhere?"
John Von DeadRising2 with a precum stain on his pants: "Yes... That's it.... That's perfect...."
Richard McGasZombie: "Erm, what if we added in new gas zombies with twice the health, hyper aggression, a distance spit attack that stuns you, an insta-grab that leads to a two-step QTE, and we put them literally everywhere?"
John Von DeadRising2 with a precum stain on his pants: "Yes... That's it.... That's perfect...."
Plants vs. Zombies
2009
no - i actually might go back to plants vs zombies
Talking flowers, really?
This series has been around for god knows how long and the kids who grew up with the original game on the NES are old enough now to collect social security. So why does the series continue to go for the kiddie audience instead of appealing to his actual fans, the adults? Think of how awesome a Mario game where he swears and uses mushrooms like drugs would be. Such a shame that the lazy devs donβt understand what the real fans want.
This series has been around for god knows how long and the kids who grew up with the original game on the NES are old enough now to collect social security. So why does the series continue to go for the kiddie audience instead of appealing to his actual fans, the adults? Think of how awesome a Mario game where he swears and uses mushrooms like drugs would be. Such a shame that the lazy devs donβt understand what the real fans want.
MultiVersus
2022
Good Evening, βMultiversus" was a 12 month sociological study conducted by Harvard University. We are now complete with our study. Thank you for your time.
i want to see the ending of this game but i cannot stand playing this shitty knockoff of shadow of the colossus/god of war
Boring ass crusty ass wack ass bland ass lame ass waste of time fucking piece of shit. I hate this game so much.
The most mature way to participate in the itch-adjacent depression indie scene is to treat their work with the same respect you would a single painting at an art gallery. Look it over, imagine the circumstances it comes from, put yourself in the artist's shoes, and then move on.
I wrote a more cynical review of this a while ago, I didn't want to keep it up but it's on pastebin for preservation: https://pastebin.com/9WwSFZDz
I wrote a more cynical review of this a while ago, I didn't want to keep it up but it's on pastebin for preservation: https://pastebin.com/9WwSFZDz
Valkyrie Elysium
2022
If this was a Yoko Taro's game, you'd see a 4,2 rating and plenty of reviews saying "peak fiction".
Assassin's Creed II
2009
if you think this franchise has good gameplay, good open world and a good story i have some good news for you. play literally any other game.
Hi-Fi Rush
2023
Me when a game is full of references:
just NAMING something ISN'T a JOKE !!!!! PICK up a PEN and start WRITING actual CONTENT !!!!! π€¬π€¬π€¬π€¬π€¬
me when every single reference is about something i really like:
oh my god... πππ they like that... πππ i also like that πππ.... can't wait to see an interview later talking about some minor details I may have missed πππ... videogames are art this is so cool... πππ
just NAMING something ISN'T a JOKE !!!!! PICK up a PEN and start WRITING actual CONTENT !!!!! π€¬π€¬π€¬π€¬π€¬
me when every single reference is about something i really like:
oh my god... πππ they like that... πππ i also like that πππ.... can't wait to see an interview later talking about some minor details I may have missed πππ... videogames are art this is so cool... πππ
Take a shot everytime you see a bait review of this game. Death is simply inevitable