Games I Will Force Hilda To Play

Everything but the first 44 games are very very bad and potentially offensive, but hildas must endure

Unrated

He Needs His Medicine
He Needs His Medicine
Played august 5th:
Erhm... THIS isnt the right medicine. I feel a bit gluey. A bit shoey.

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Herdy Gerdy
Herdy Gerdy

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Hilda and the Tower of Lust
Hilda and the Tower of Lust
Played feb 1st

Please reach level 5 in Boobs and Being Licked to access this review

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Hippo: Little Red Riding Hood
Hippo: Little Red Riding Hood
Played April 4th:
This game was maybe 12 minutes long. There was a dinosaur that was defied by the valorant hippo. I was playing octopath, oops

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Hololive Horror
Jan 1st 2024

sees magnifying glass on the floor
oh! its magifying glass breasts giggle this is so good chat we only need 2 more! turns around
scary girl
kyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Aaaaaaa
Aaaaa
Aaaaaa
Aaaa
Aa
Aa
A

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Honey Select 2: Libido DX
Honey Select 2: Libido DX
played dec 8th

flight 747, ready and waiting for takeoff. Oh just kidding i cant have gay DEMON sex with my clothes on. Worst experience of my life, me and my hot pants are out.

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Hopping Girl Kohane EX
Hopping Girl Kohane EX
Found on switch store. Looks incomprehensible.

Played April 4th:
This game appears to be overly "girly" and cute but then the main character has skimpy anime clothes and breast physics. It's a bit sad cause it could of been something.

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Howling Village: Echoes
Howling Village: Echoes
Dec 3rd

The quest for a hottie babe comes to an end. Dog people and obsessions with dog people have never been more enthralling. But were the dog people ever real? Perhaps we imagined it..... oh darn, im on fire.....

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Hunt Down the Freeman
Hunt Down the Freeman

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Ib
Ib

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iCarly
iCarly

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Ikenie no Yoru
Ikenie no Yoru

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I'm Scared of My Girlfriend
I'm Scared of My Girlfriend
'Played' on september 23rd

how am i supposed to develop a personality when my abusive girlfriend is SUCH a silly little goose????!??!? trip and grace with a twist

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Introvert: A Teenager Simulator
Introvert: A Teenager Simulator
Tonyzaret video

Played 26th feb 2024

So... yeah. My furry girlfriend turned out to be an actually werewolf, but before we could get to first base this nerd in my class brought out a shotgun and threatened to shoot up the school! And i was like uhmmmm so that just happened??? I mean, who brings a SHOTGUN to a school shooting. Thats cringier than the time my teacher interrupted class to t pose! Anyways, that basically sums up my #awkwardsauce life

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...Iru!
...Iru!

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It's my Birthday
It's my Birthday
Played may 7th:
Not my bday anymore but hilda still has birthday fun 4 everyone......

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Its Snowing
Its Snowing
Played at a point in january 2024

okay guys. so, you might think my itchio game is normal, but actually when you walk outside youll notice something wacky. Thats right, SHOES. on the ground! Ok, so thats crazy. But it wasnt crazy enough. My house? Its freaky. I go in there, and theres blood on the walls and shit! It wasnt there before oooo. But i'll go further. Freaky fucking jpg! Now youre really freaked. I cant stop myself guys.... SLAVERY. oh yeah, now thats scary.

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Kidnapped Girl
Kidnapped Girl
Played April 25th:
I don't know why I keep putting these here. They're not even funny.

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Killer Frequency
Killer Frequency
Played june 1st:
I was looking forward to it but nothing really makes any sense and the hook feels like it doesnt exist. The dialogue feels stilted and offputting and none of the jokes landed. There is no horror or sense of anticipation. I have never ever ever gotten bored with a game but i got too restless to even continue watching. Really, really weird execution.

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KinitoPet
KinitoPet
Febuary something 2024

Cunt I Am hildas best friend do NOT play games. Alone in the Dark? What the fuck is this? Any hildabro would KNOW that she loves quiche and would KNOW that her favorite game is pokemon. Get your pink out of my stink

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Kitty Kart 64
Kitty Kart 64
Played march 29th 2024

They should of built up to the driving out of bound weathertenko mario 64 speedrun any percent glitchless abney27 summoningsalt luigi circuit blindfolded raimbow road 1flap canonless beat strats

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Koikatsu Party
Koikatsu Party
Played august 8th:
My poor demented woman and her festering aerola disease suffers a grand mal seizure with every orgasm... SAD.

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Last Light
Last Light

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Last Seen Online
Last Seen Online
April 24 2024

Reminds me of hypnospace, very darling passion project

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Legend of Mana
Legend of Mana

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Let's Catch
Let's Catch

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Life of Black Tiger
Life of Black Tiger
Played august 11th:

My sweet female tiger i will kill 7 eagles and 13 buffalo and 100 wolves and a pig for you

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Livestream 2: Escape from Togaezuka Happy Place
Livestream 2: Escape from Togaezuka Happy Place

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Livestream: Escape from Hotel Izanami
Livestream: Escape from Hotel Izanami
December

the standards are below. average. wheres the bouncy bloobie babes? What might i laugh at, soured my mood did the gameplay. This girl walking so slowly. Cant lift cement off a floor. Such what is the point. Hair pussy? I dont even care.

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Love Love School Days
Love Love School Days
Played at some point in september:

Baka baka baka. The mantra of thr fastest girl alive. Shes going to beat you to do death so watch out.

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Marble Maid
Marble Maid
Feb 1st

The long lasted emotional struggle between wanting to play monkey ball, and masturbate. finally solved. Thanks man.

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Märchen Forest
Märchen Forest

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Mario In Clock Town
Mario In Clock Town
Played april 30th:

This made me appreciate the enemy placement of normal mario a lot more

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Mario: The Music Box Remastered
Mario: The Music Box Remastered
Played august 12:

If the protagonist was anything but mario this would be an average rpgmaker game but watching my friend mario break his back in a fall down a pit and choke on his own blood left me speechless. There is nothing in this game that pertains to mario outside of his appearance. Why would you want to hurt mario? He is so nice and can jump really high and has 3 lives and love for everyone and you hurt him? A lot? Concerned.

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Master Spy
Master Spy
Played may 18th:
I hate this

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MazM: Jekyll and Hyde
MazM: Jekyll and Hyde
Played october 29th:

Thought it would be a stinker till mr hyde became sexified. Tearing up the streets of london and kicking children, just as i remember. Werk your gay ass down the halls on your quest for salt, kill those senile old men. Youre a star and everyone knows it. 50? Unmarried? In the 1800s? You wanted utterson ass and we all know it. Dont repress it. Youre all invited to my coming out banquet. Thank you.

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McDonald's Original: Happy Disc
McDonald's Original: Happy Disc

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Mermaid Swamp
Mermaid Swamp
Feb 10th 2024

RIP DOWN ALL THE PAINTINGS. HURRY. SEXUAL CONTENT WARNING. WET USELESS WOMEN WAITING FOR YOU!

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Miasmata
Miasmata
Jan 7th 2024

that guys arm is soo funny aha theres a frog ahha zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzzz
Zzzzzzz
ah aha hey wheres the game

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Mighty Beanz Pocket Puzzles
Mighty Beanz Pocket Puzzles
Played october 20th

i beamed it out of there. i got a super mighty bean. i dont wamt it.

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Mirror 2: Project X
Mirror 2: Project X
Discovered through a game called "novastella Island", which was apparently supposed to be an adult game that got changed into a farming sim (very obvious).

played at some point

I wasnt texting the whole time i remember everything like uhhmm ms naoki and the boobs and the mirrors and the dramaa. And that lady. And the curse. And the puzzle.

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Monster House
Monster House

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Monsters vs. Aliens
Monsters vs. Aliens

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Moon Whistle
Moon Whistle

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Morphine
Morphine

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Mort the Chicken
Mort the Chicken
Played july 18th:

Is mort any less of a chicken for being a hero? He saves us, the children.....he walked on water. He walked on cubes. we wouldnt be anything without his courage.

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Mr. Bean's Wacky World
Mr. Bean's Wacky World
Played april 29th:

Game was suprisingly cute but i beaned it out of there quick

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Mr.Tomatos
Mr.Tomatos
Played on March 18th

confusion about Mr tomato gameplay at the beginning, would of enjoyed if it didn't delete your save file after every fail

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Ms.Lemons
Ms.Lemons
YOU WILL finish ms lemons so help me god....

March 18th replayed, ms lemons is filth

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My Dear Brother Jeff
My Dear Brother Jeff
Played october 20th

my dear brother jeff you were in a hospital. Many laughs at your expense, tearfully tearing eyes away from boobs to finish your game. the struggles i had trying to make hilda finish this. the desperate search for distraction. jajaja

An amendment:
Finally we can understand the story of Jeffrey dahmer the killer. His mommy go crazy and is no importance. Go away. Less boobs this time but more bad words and a slur

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My Friendly Neighborhood
My Friendly Neighborhood
Played july 25th:
This was like a strange bugsnax esque game but the implied religious symbolism was strange

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My Friend Peppa Pig
My Friend Peppa Pig
You will never be finfin (on planet teo)

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My House
My House
Played may 28th:
It was a bit boring to watch because it was pretty much just doom inside a house with some weird things occasionally. I thought it might be creepier, but i dont much sbout doom so i cant attest to it really.

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MySims
MySims
Played April 27th:

Found a game I played in my childhood.
.. was my Sims kingdom but I win

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MythBusters: The Game
MythBusters: The Game
Played dec 10th

uh... the grenade exploded and... uh...myth busted! soo... time to... buy stuff from my own warehouse... maybe.... i think.....where am i..

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Neko Secret: Homecoming
Neko Secret: Homecoming
Switch store page is scary

Halfway through thid game someone started screaming outside my apartment and threatening to call the cops. But i was dressing up a scary woman. Too busy for such things. Vaginas like open wounds, must be the neko secret?

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New kind of adventure
New kind of adventure
Played April 23rd:

large starberries.

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Nira Oni
Nira Oni
Played october 11th

they did surgery on an oni, make him scarier. but this was botched. Shout out to RYAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Noobow
Noobow
Played dec 9th

gooby gooby boy is santas little helper. He helps everyone and is very careful. He brings water to everyone and everyone smiles and says thanks gooby gooby boy. You did so good and we all love you. many sanatas presents to you

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Nothing Special
Nothing Special
Played April 21st:
This game had a really bad atmosphere to it, so much so that I didn't get to laugh at it being funny. Very uncomfortable but not how the game intended

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Nowhere, MI
Nowhere, MI

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NSFW Solitaire
NSFW Solitaire
played on April 22:
this is the worst and it should not exist

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OneShot
OneShot

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Oni Asobi
Oni Asobi
Played may 21st:
I thought this might be similar to ao oni but it wasnt


I was playing dinkum.... my pleep grew up into a big pleep. yayaayayay

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Oppai Academy Big, Bouncy, Booby Babes!
Oppai Academy Big, Bouncy, Booby Babes!
Dec 8th:

She was right! It wasnt funny! Why didnt we listen to her... i gotta shake my hips out of here! Waiter! Check please!

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Oppai Academy Big, Bouncy, Booby Babes!
Oppai Academy Big, Bouncy, Booby Babes!
Oh my god i hope i pass boob school

(She dropped out! what a fool! forgot this was here too, now its twice.)

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Orbo's Odyssey
Orbo's Odyssey
Played at a date

orbos dream.... shot straight like an arrow, across lava and cliffs and offices..... peeb....

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Ore ga Omae wo Mamoru
Ore ga Omae wo Mamoru
"Metroidvania for girls"

Dec 12

thaat was not for girls. I dont know who we were protecting. It obviously wasnt me.

Unrated

Oyadori no Ko
Oyadori no Ko


Played may 19th:
Hilda pulls off another wonderful surprise and finds the game on a spanish-speaking forum. What can i say? Kona5 has a power that no other game dev can even come close to. Kojima? Fuck that guy, Miyamoto? Hes a hack. Kona is not afraid to make whatever he wants to make, and what he does make tends to involve toilet and going toilet and the tragedies of going toilet at the wrong time. There was a lack of playable strong and courageous women, however our environmentally concious lead villain fills up that role.

JOBLESS IS NOT CRIME. i will scream it from the rooftops...

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Paranoiac: Remake Version
Paranoiac: Remake Version
Feb 2024

Depression... i.... makeing me CRAZY... i.... a CRAZY PERSON. i SEE things. Yea, thats not NORMAL. my mom? Hates me. Her hysteria. But i. I love her. Because.... shes CRAZY too. Were all CRAZY. We are Crazy.

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PaRappa the Rapper
PaRappa the Rapper

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Pedestal
Pedestal
Played 29th feb 2024

she killed her self. or not. its so #funny and #crazey when girls jump off roofs. apathy is the best approach to this situation. after all why should i distrust someone with such a strong hand on the pulse of the mentally disturbed. YOU go crazy.

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Peeb Adventures
Peeb Adventures

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Pet in TV
Pet in TV

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Please Answer Carefully
Please Answer Carefully
♡♡MY PXSSY IN BIO♡♡

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Pop Plus: Solo
Pop Plus: Solo
Played at a date

Apparently someone went on a solo bubble adventure and now i will never know. what is it? the bubble. the popping.

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Poptropica
Poptropica
we need to make a hilda world

Feb 8th

GOD. WHERE. IS THE. CHUPICABRA. WHERES THE SPY ISLAND. WHERE IS IT, WHERE DID YOU HIDE HER. WHERES THE PUPPY OUTFIT, THE DRACULAS. IVE BEEN MOVING FORWSRD AND YOUVE BEEN MOVING BACK

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Pretty Princess: Magical Garden Island
Pretty Princess: Magical Garden Island
Could be fun

Played sometime in june:
A pretty blatant attempt to cash in on acnh success but the tutorials were insanely long and outside of that, there wasnt much to interact with

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Pricolage: Idolized
Pricolage: Idolized

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Pui Pui Molcar Let's! Molcar Party!
Pui Pui Molcar Let's! Molcar Party!
Played April 26th:
AHHHHHH PUI PUI PUI PUI PUI AAAAAAAAHHH MOL!CAR!MOL!CAR!MOL!CAR! Mario party who? This is all anyone should know, put a hat on that molcar and watch it go...

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Purgatory
Purgatory
Played may 7th: soo evil.. oh my god... so wicked, and twisted... i really just did not know when it would end, the blood and muck and sadness and ect.

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Quest for Moomoo
Quest for Moomoo
Played december 1st

so sloppy and empty. hated this, dont lead me on with an image of a cow.

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Raccoon Rascal
Raccoon Rascal

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Reunion
Reunion
Feb 11th 2024

My BROTHER.... my jeffrey flesh and dahmer blood.... you spared .me.......

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Revenge: Jane The Killer
Revenge: Jane The Killer
Feb 2024

JANE... SHEs gonna Kill Jeff and Kidnap his brother Its Time for the Sneaking section i zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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Rewind or Die
Rewind or Die
Played April 28th

Puppet combo Is a hack and makes the most unfun games imaginable

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Rip Van Bubsy
Rip Van Bubsy
Dec 11th

wet paper towrl.

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Rule of Rose
Rule of Rose

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RuPaul's Drag Race Superstar
RuPaul's Drag Race Superstar
Dec 10th

RAVEN! INCOMING BOMB! TAKE COVER, TRENCHES! HUT TWO HUT TWO. WE WILL WIN THIS WAR WHATEVER IT TAKES

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Salamander County Public Television
Salamander County Public Television

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Sara is Missing
Sara is Missing

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Saturnalia
Saturnalia
Played october 7th

lasanga maria called me the f word! But i was asleep. Shit garbage. Nick, KILL yourself NOW!

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Savior of the Abyss
Savior of the Abyss
Dec 10th

Neighbors were yelling the whole time so i was focusing on them to make sure there was not a killer around and abound. She got eaten, by a door. Didnt save anything! what!

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Secret Agent Barbie
Secret Agent Barbie

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See No Fear
See No Fear

Played April 4th: you move very slow and there's so many invisible walls.

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Sentimental Death Loop
Sentimental Death Loop
Played september 23rd

Oh my god that lady has ber underwear out quickly put the batteries in the remote zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz oh it was friendship.

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Sexts
Sexts

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Shinrai: Broken Beyond Despair
Shinrai: Broken Beyond Despair

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Silent Hill f
Silent Hill f

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Silkbulb Test
Silkbulb Test

53 Comments


can't wait!!

now i feel inspired to do the same with CURSE ..... if i don't make the list... know it is happening slowly but surely

1 year ago

I'M NOT PLAYING FUCKING ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS
@Hilda what could possibly be bad about chipwrecked!!!!!
it's a ??rhythm game??? can you play with DDR pad?
it'll be fun!
Dead By Daylight and the Arthur game being added feel so mean spirited

1 year ago

I'd love to see that list but regardless I'm keeping him in my thoughts and prayers <3 but it would be very funny if you also made him play floigan bros. Although,, Hilda is my online friend so it's acceptable to spam her 24/7 with floigan threats, however I would be worried about the repercussions if I lived with them :P

1 year ago

@BEAUTIFULBRUTE Maybe someday I can convince myself to play it when I buy an adapter for my ddr pad that for my own sake hopefully doesn't work anymore
@BlazingWaters I spent years of my life in dead by daylight but some people would rather see me fall in the hole I climbed out of for so long

1 year ago

@BlazingWaters this is enrichment for Hildas (:

1 year ago

@CURSE she made it through frogger... she's trained to experience Arthur
It's funny 'cause the first three games seem at the bare minimun very fun, and then the flood gates are opened by Alvin and its friends.

I have no idea what even Mr Tomatos, and frankly, I am VERY scared to know.

1 year ago

@DemonAndGames the first 3 are some of my favorite pieces of art that I genuinely wanna show my friend here but the others are just funny lol
@moschidae <3 i understand
@Hilda ahh, well me & moschidae are the new founders of the get-hilda-an-adapter-for-ddr-pad-and-if-that-one-doesn't-work-a-whole-brand-new-one foundation. accepting sponsors

1 year ago

Buying hilda a ddr pad the SECOND I get my disability check next month

1 year ago

Buying myself a dramatically lit chair to sit in

1 year ago

we are fucking sponsored by ms. lemons !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

1 year ago

that arthuer and the invisibles stream was insane

1 year ago

Shoutout to Wayne, now I don't have to rummage through Wikipedia to find gems like arthur and floigan bros

1 year ago

Water Horse and Charlotte's web forever stuck in my brain. Also found out wikipedia diving that the dudes who founded the studio that made the original Shadowman, dipped and made a new studio, which then made cheap ass games, including Water Horse and Charlotte's web

1 year ago

Oh my god, im actually shocked by that. What a coincidence... Water Horse/Shadowman crossover when..?

Oh yeah, and thank you for reminding me that I need to make Hilda play Babe as well. I'm sure she'll love it (:

1 year ago

This has nothing to do with anything but they're making a Beverley Hills Chihuahua for adult straight men called Strays. i must remember it.

1 year ago

You don’t REALLY have to though…

1 year ago

Keep talking like that and I'll make you watch Strays

1 year ago

I’ll hopefully be catching some instead

1 year ago

Will Feral (changed his name for the movie) is in it. You will watch Strays.

1 year ago

You should add Wo Long I think it'd be kinda fucked up

1 year ago

Keep talking like that and someone is getting locked in the cupboard again ! Or put into a jar.

1 year ago

A worthy sacrifice for a mere cupboard

1 year ago

Does anyone else have any more bad game recommendations that are short-ish. I'm running out of ideas.

1 year ago

How short?

1 year ago

Uhhh like, 2 hours or less preferably
Barbie secret agent because CURS wouldn’t finish it when i tried to make em play even though he almost beat it !!!!!!!


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