74 Reviews liked by ohheybuddysharon


this is gonna be one people debate endlessly about

is it better than 2016, is it the right direction for doom, is that really the ending they went with, all these questions that may never get answered except for that last one

as im sure you know by now, this is very different from 2016 which is the absolute best thing for it. going from a game about being the autarch of destruction to a first person shooter with immense depth in its mechanics is a uncharacteristically subtle change that makes a world of difference, which is exactly what a sequel needs

doom eternal is hard as shit but its tacticality in how you "rip" and "tear" as one might say makes every shootout engaging as hell. some fights are a bit reliant on having enemies with too much health or just spawning a bunch of them, but despite that minority of lame fights the combat itself is inherently extremely engaging.

theres a lot more to this game that i could get into, but the core loop itself is so great that you have to play this game simply for that.


Stray

2022

stray starts off cute but then comes to embody everything i kind of hate about game marketing in the internet age. i guarantee you that if it weren't for the meow button and cat animations being marketed no one would really care about this game.

I have 50 hours in Vampire Survivors. I treat it like time machine. I use it to travel 30 minutes forward in time and feel nothing afterwards.

if you think this franchise has good gameplay, good open world and a good story i have some good news for you. play literally any other game.

This review contains spoilers

extremely surreal to see that a prevalent consensus on this is that it's an OBVIOUS uberbleak nihilist exercise in cynical ultraviolence when I feel like it's Very Clearly shooting for (but emphatically not always flawlessly succeeding at) humanist themes exploring mercy, kinship, and absolution: The last spoken line/thesis of the game is literally "I don't know if I can ever forgive you, but I'd like to try" which basically mirrors the bubbly final sentiment in Steven Universe of all things... like come on people the game clearly has a lot of faith in human compassion and optimism that we can be (and are) better than our worst impulses. We can (and should!) totally debate the efficacy of the way the game communicates these ideas. I think there are plenty of areas to criticize or outright condemn in terms of execution; the pieces written about the games fraught zionist inspirations and the discomfiting misogynoir on display in regards to a specific moment are especially vital reads--but framing this story's outlook as intentionally nihilist, player-blaming pain porn about the inescapable cycle of violence is just.. totally disingenuous to what it's clearly trying to do, imo. A story about empathy without a soft and tender pastel veneer does not render it ineffective or worthless. I would probably argue that the game's refusal to over-sentimentalize the repugnance of its deuteragonists' actions (or make their realities easily accessible/justifiable) lends more integrity to the challenge of conveying the inherent worth and potential for change within them... I feel like the game makes it extra clear that Abby and Ellie are not universalizing prescriptive ciphers for the human condition / our inescapable URGE 4 VENGEANCE and are instead very specific / detailed character studies of damaged people whose emotional processing is expressed through borderline surrealist New French Extremity interactive dream logic in a world that also presents a variety of individuals with approaches and outlooks that are direct foils to these self-destructive coping strategies!!!

lots and lots of thoughts about this game, might revisit and explore further at some point

(also feel the need to say that Naughty Dog's crunch culture is a blight on the industry and this game could have been just as affecting as a more contained and less needlessly sprawling experience)

it's not another no man's sky

it's another vampire: the masquerade - bloodlines

Every Zero Escape Game:

Protag: Ow, my ass hurts-

Character: That reminds me of this story where this scientist hit his ass on the edge of a table, but didn’t feel it. Then, months later, he died of ass pain. They call it Temporal Ass Pain or TAP

Protag: I’d TAP that-

Character: Say we took two asses, and we both slapped them really hard, there’d be a 56.000079% chance that one of them won’t feel it. That pain didn’t just get absorbed by the ass tissue, it’s being transported to the future. They call people who don’t feel Ass pain until later…TAPers…I wonder…if they could transport ass pain to someone else-

Zero: Ive injected Ass Poison into all of your left buttcheeks. You have exactly 2 hours to solve my Ass Slap puzzle.

This review was written before the game released

She elden on my ring till i'm far fromsoft

every "character" in this game speaks like they are a sentence away of looking at the camera and saying how fresh the potatoes at walmart are now only at 50% buy it now

Thomas Pynchon for people who listen to JPEGMAFIA

lady maria if you read this im free on thursday night and would like to hang out. please respond to this and then hang out with me on thursday night when i'm free.

God of Snore Ragnarock Me to Sleep

shut the fuck up quildewivy you like fate/stay night. you would not know what good writing is even if it rammed you at light speed