Get me OUT of here! Don't just stand there like a goon!

If you're confused then look at this list. Now you might be sitting here and wondering to yourself, why is Austin Powers! Oh, Behave! so high on this list? Well, that's because all of these games are bad! That's right, there are only roughly 30 good games on this list! And I didn't even play 3 of them! Oh bother! What a conundrum! Someone help me!

Stardew Valley
Stardew Valley
I've already played a shit ton of this game but we played it again together so I'll put it here anyways. I should be able to get these women DIVORCED from their shitty deadbeat husbands and give them better lives. I will be Pelican Town's token home wrecker. I'd make a lot of small changes to this game but I would probably say it is the best of these farming games despite my own feelings that differ from that statement I will not explain that any futher
The Quarry
The Quarry
Only slightly better than the devil in me, and yet just as homophobic
The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles
The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles
I wish I got to actually play this for myself but it was still a great experience and I wubiht:}
Kirby's Dream Land 3
Kirby's Dream Land 3
I've never cared about Kirby that much aside from a couple specific games and this game never did anything for me any time I tried to get through it, but I think this game...
Rain World
Rain World
Mr. Bean's wacky world is just better and I think you're probably racist if you don't agree ummmmm YEA I said it I said what we were all thinking
Shenmue
Shenmue
I played this game! I really really did! Please don't notice me!
Buckshot Roulette
Buckshot Roulette
Pretty good. Didn't feel random enough which for being so short seemed kind of weird and the ai went from being kinda bullshit to being really dumb but it’s a neat idea..
Hatsune Miku: Project Diva Mega Mix
Hatsune Miku: Project Diva Mega Mix
I like vocaloid music a moderate amount, this would be a lot more fun if my adhd and my poor vision didn’t work together to make it literally impossible to see half the shit happening on screen. It’s good probably I’ve never played a rhythm game that wasn't theatrhythm or rhythm heaven so idk for sure
Amnesia: The Bunker
Amnesia: The Bunker
so bunker
We Love Katamari Reroll + Royal Reverie
We Love Katamari Reroll + Royal Reverie
I would have played this one regardless but it was a gift so it must be here... This game is amazing and captures the spirit of the first game perfectly. The theme of it being a post katamari damacy world where the video game was a thing and they're all fans now is really cute, and it's more game, so it's fun. Being able to play as the other cousins alone would have made it better than the first game, and the presents are a lot more fun. The new stuff is pretty weird though, doesn't sit right. The game existing for the reason it does is pretty depressing and makes sure I'll probably never play any of the games past this one but these first 2 games are 2 of the best games I've played.
Façade
Façade
The biggest facade was how long it takes to start the fucking game
My House
My House
Never played doom so this is weird but it's pretty fun
The Dark Pictures Anthology: The Devil in Me
The Dark Pictures Anthology: The Devil in Me
Deadly night IS a worse game than this is, but for being literally 10 times longer and an exhaustive waste of time it’s easily the most emotionally damaging of all of these thus far

EDIT: The curse has worn down for me. Still hate this thing but I don't care anymore...
The Crooked Man
The Crooked Man
I never really got into these RPG maker games as a kid, so this being the first one I got into was... A little hard. Bro's really did have Silent Hill 2 at home... Maybe a little too derivative, and definitely overstays it's welcome slightly, but it has a good place in history. Also minus points for not understanding how literally ANY diseases work.
Lunistice
Lunistice
Pretty fun!! Short game, some of the levels really overstayed but it’s hard to criticize the fact considering there are so few and the game comes out to a few hours either way.
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
The Texas Chain Saw Massacre
Based on network test

I guess this is maybe the best one of these? There aren't even that many really, what, Dead by Daylight? Dragon Ball The Breakers? Hate how reliant this game is on actual voice communication, family side at least. Seems very overly mechanical but I'm sure it'll be much better when it's actually done
Barnyard
Barnyard
This game somehow isn’t even that bad but it froze and I lost all my progress. To be continued another day…
The Exit 8
The Exit 8
Do better Japan
Who's Lila?
Who's Lila?
This game is really interesting, even if I was too stupid to really understand it myself. Everything about it, the visuals, the ambience, the cutscenes which you don't see many of but damn they're done SO well. Everything about this game just feels... Uncanny. The AI faces, the way they emote and move, controlling your own expressions... Reminds me of autism! Getting the different endings is annoying though, all the small nuances that change in what is usually otherwise the same thing you've done before, if I didn't have someone telling me what to do for the alternate ones I never would have found some of them without looking it up. Maybe it's just because I can't understand emotions though... Oh well I still don't really know who Lila is though
Moonscars
Moonscars
This game is like a big shit cupcake, it looks like chocolate but it’s just shit. Very nice pixel art, and the skeleton of the combat in this game is put together well for the most part I guess but nothing blends into each other well enough. Healing is done badly, special attacks use the same resource as healing when they really should have just been subweapons, aerial combat is awful, every enemy has too much health, it goes on. This game could have been a lot better with a few simple changes. Also with the enemies being as annoying to fight as they are, they should not be spawning in randomly, or during boss fights for that matter. There are way too many pointless systems as well, tainted mirrors? Doppelgängers? My mirror is going to be tainted from looking into it after playing this game. It’s not awful, I enjoyed it somewhat, but it’s definitely not good.
Webkinz Classic
Webkinz Classic
You know, I don't think I'm the target demographic for this game (complimentary)
Amanda the Adventurer
Amanda the Adventurer
Horror game asks too many questions and answers none of it's questions
The Witch's House MV
The Witch's House MV
Animal death


no

also suck?

yes
The Thing
The Thing
It's a thing, but it's not THE thing.
Dreaming Mary
Dreaming Mary
Mary I know your ass was not dreaming about this please do better
Killer Frequency
Killer Frequency
So boring that I got to play basketball with a trash can and a coffee cup and that wasn't even enough to entertain me
Buddy Simulator 1984
Buddy Simulator 1984
This was pretty lame doki doki literature club ass game was cute at first then was ugly like child I'm eating aa pasty
Garten of Banban 3
Garten of Banban 3
Goated Precious even!
KinitoPet
KinitoPet
Mascot horror… good? Shove Kinito in my ass? Thoughts? Discuss?
Mermaid Swamp
Mermaid Swamp
Boring. Boring. Boring. Where was the strong sexual content? Where were the F cups? The only F was this GAME. WHAT were they THIIIIINKIIIING?
The Lord of the Rings: Gollum
The Lord of the Rings: Gollum
Everyone knows that Smeagol is the most marketable middle earth character
Orbo's Odyssey
Orbo's Odyssey
Peeb is BACK and BETTER but who the fuck is this guy with no arms? And these DUCKS? What the fuck is going ON in this cubicle??
My Friendly Neighborhood
My Friendly Neighborhood
I'm glad David Szymanski is doing well for himself, and maybe his brother will make another cool game sometime. Arlo too? Bazooga!
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
The game that started it all will just as easily end it all.
Wipeout: The Game
Wipeout: The Game
oh no… I fucking wiped it…. Jesus Christ….
Fears to Fathom: Ironbark Lookout
Fears to Fathom: Ironbark Lookout
I spotted a sadistic evil cult gatsps OMZ! I tak ean evil topless selfie to commemerare the moment cachink I left the flash on! Oh nozzz ;-; I escape to the highway, heals barely intact, to see everyone calling me a crazy freaked up psycho, at least I got my boba! SIP I never went back in a forest again because my boobs looked so bad in the pic it must have been cause of all the nature! I ❤️ New York!
Stuart Little 3: Big Photo Adventure
Stuart Little 3: Big Photo Adventure
Honestly this game is kinda fun actually if someone would mod this game to get rid of the stereotypical native americans then it'd be good
Evil Dead: Regeneration
Evil Dead: Regeneration
The combat in this game was actually alright, well it wasn't great but it was much better than expected. Then I started kicking a little guy into wood chippers and cremation furnaces and calling him ugly
Irisu Syndrome
Irisu Syndrome
I enjoy a puzzle game every now and then so this was a bit of a delight but it was hard to get into at first just because it was not at all what I expected it would be. As cool as this is I'm not huge into these lore lite games with a ton of hula hoops and text dumping, and I just don't have the patience to do everything in this game hehe... Also there are practically 0 good guides or videos talking about this game so I couldn't even figure out how to finish metsu mode so that was a little annoying
Koikatsu Party
Koikatsu Party
Really didn't wanna do this one but her feet AND her hands were so fucking small. God bless.
The Dog Island
The Dog Island
doggy... none of your silly games are going to be better than this give up
EDIT: I have made a severe lapse in judgement
Hello Kitty: Roller Rescue
Hello Kitty: Roller Rescue
Hello Kitty SERVING it on the rink
Dinkum
Dinkum
As much as I love dinking and getting alll the fucking doinks I’m gonna have to put Dinkum below stardew valley for now because that summer sun update wasn’t very summer or sunny
Craftopia
Craftopia
YEEEEESSS YES FUCK FUCKING YES
Frogger's Adventures: Temple of the Frog
Frogger's Adventures: Temple of the Frog
You fucking FROG. You’re wearing CLOTHES. You. Are. A frog. You are not a prince. You are NOT an adventurous spirit. You are a frog. Take those fucking shorts off and go back to jumping across the street. NO sky Egypt and NO more elements or you are GROUNDED.
Garten of Banban 4
Garten of Banban 4
jumbo joch??. and opila bird??? mutant baby nbird???//. choo choo carl?!?!?!?!?! Squirty caarl!!!
Hello? Hell... o?
Hello? Hell... o?
Very neat game. For what it does and for the generation of this niche of games it's a very neat experience. Just a quick little project someone put together that's pretty well done :]
Dread X Collection
Dread X Collection
Dreading playing any of these again! Some of them were funny but overall none of these were really “good” at all
Ghost Master
Ghost Master
This wasn't actually too bad but the charm of watching my funny ghosts haunt this frat house filled with corpses and not actually doing anything myself wore off fast
SimAnimals
SimAnimals
When I picked up the robin it looked like it was dead and it made me upset
Wrestling Empire
Wrestling Empire
So fucking silly would be a good time if it fucking worked, I was so fucking pretty in this one though
Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue
Barbie Horse Adventures: Wild Horse Rescue
This was not the right game.
Dread X Collection 2
Dread X Collection 2
Quality is definitely better over the first one but the games are actually significantly less entertaining to me, also way longer
Unsorted Horror
Unsorted Horror
Pretty neat with a couple boring games but it was pretty good overall for a completely free game
Cooking Companions
Cooking Companions
whpopoooooah how did you get down here sir. SIR
Arthur and the Invisibles
Arthur and the Invisibles
Idk how this was so high up Arthur and his reverse pedo ass Arthur and his pedo girlfriend ass Arthur and his 38 year old creator married a 16 year old ass. Still not a terrible game though tbf

artur...
Don't Scream
Don't Scream
Pretty neat but unless they finish it it's not much of anything
Mort the Chicken
Mort the Chicken
Mort would definitely be sturdy I think
The Sopranos: Road to Respect
The Sopranos: Road to Respect
Punch grab get punched get grabbed get thrown on ground get get up get grabbed again get hit with bottle get up get punched get grabbed I've never seen the sopranos
Garten of Banban 6
Garten of Banban 6
Euphoric brothers really are the nazis of video games

After playing the game at the bottom of this list, I'd like to make note of the fact that I was right. Please stand and clap for my intuition. 20$ bills will work fine, thank you
Frogger: The Great Quest
Frogger: The Great Quest
For the 4 hours I played this game for, I didn’t get to pet my cat, I didn’t take my medication, I didn't get to draw anything, and I can't blame anyone but myself for it. Except you, you know who you are. And you know what? Thank you Frogger. In all of my 4 hours I spent playing this game I realized how much I’ve missed out on by spite playing this game. I could comment on the gross frog man that he is with his disgusting khaki shorts, but why?
"He who is not bold enough to be stared at from the abyss, is not bold enough to stare into it himself. " - The Magical General of Light and Industry. You know what? I've been too hard on you Frogger. After seeing some of these games, I realize that Frogger was here to make the world a better place. I didn't listen to his pleas, I gave him half a star without even thinking. You know what Frogger? You're a 2 star AT BEST.
Purgatory
Purgatory
This game was kinda crazy in a weird and kinda good way but I'm sick to death of these games that give me cute animal friends and then make me kill them for no reason fuck you witch's house
Speedy Eggbert
Speedy Eggbert
A little too hard for me; actually quite slow!
Mothered
Mothered
Better than my Mom
Last Seen Online
Last Seen Online
She got trapped in the triangke workd becqauawe she fell in love with a grocery store
Andy's Apple Farm
Andy's Apple Farm
That's so fucking rude

I REMEMBERED
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
White Day: A Labyrinth Named School
These old horror games are some of my favorite games to go through, but this was really exhausting. Running around doing dumb puzzles while some guy chases you with a bat for SOME reason, and you can't break him off either so you just ruuuuun and ruuuuuuuuun and ruuuuuuuuuuuuun until he just fucks off somewhere. The last section of this game being one of the worst things I've ever played didn't help either. Also the final section of the second chapter was really bad too. Everything after the first chapter was pretty bad actually. Custom skins were cool though. Maybe the remake is better?
Barbie Horse Adventures: Riding Camp
Barbie Horse Adventures: Riding Camp
One of these was actually alright and the other was fucking terrible but I have no clue which is which
Saturnalia
Saturnalia
Ticked off the racism box but I didn't even get to see the homophobia!
Live sleep tally: 1. Not even the homphobia was good enough!
Noobow
Noobow
Santar… omg Santa you so silly.. nopbow powers activate RRAHHH
Miasmata
Miasmata
Fell asleep counter: I don’t even know anymore. There were no statues. No creaturws. Just a guy running around in the woods with overripe bananas.not even any oven to make a bread with. Yaaaaaawn
Hi! Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Challenge
Hi! Hamtaro: Ham-Ham Challenge
its hamtaro, time! kuchiukuchikuchikuchi WOO hamtarooo when we work together it smuch better my best frieeeend we like sunflower seeds num num num if she heads for trouble we won't let her hamtarooo little hamsters big adventures.... lauras gone to school let's go to our ham ham clubhouse we can fix their troubles just be quiet as a mouse watch out for those cats you know they're smarter than you think but if we work together we can make their plan sink woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Better Call Saul Kart
Better Call Saul Kart
Not my Jimmy
He Needs His Medicine
He Needs His Medicine
He didn't really seem like he needed it. I think he might have a problem...
Honey Select 2: Libido
Honey Select 2: Libido
What were they thinking? Releasing this pooped up squack? 70 dollars? More like 70 showers I'll have to take to help clear the stress that this caused me
Akemi-tan
Akemi-tan
What the fuck?
Anonymous Agony
Anonymous Agony
Yarck! Narsty! Put me back in the kiln!
Spice World
Spice World
Genuinely do not have anything to say, stay in school, love thy neighbor, God bless you all, and goodnight.
Anime Standing
Anime Standing
I was in fact not standing most of the time
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Bubba would be fucking ashamed
Deadly Night
Deadly Night
I feel like a grandmother looking at my great grandchildren. I can't fucking remember who these people even are I'm so oooold
Greyhill Incident
Greyhill Incident
This is NOT our world do not lump me in with you
Yomawari: Lost in the Dark
Yomawari: Lost in the Dark
She didn’t tell me to play this but she told me to put it on here cause I played it with her. It's an OK Yomawari game. It leaves too many questions unanswered in it's weird open ended story, some segments and mechanics in this game are just kind of infuriating in a way I don't care to describe, but it's still just as emotional, atmospheric and charming as at least the second game. I want to love it but it gets dragged down too much I think.
Dear Red: Extended
Dear Red: Extended
I faileed my experimaernt...l. she's terminally head holed
Kidnapped Girl
Kidnapped Girl
She wasn't even kidnapped but that's the least of her problems
Blair Witch Volume 1: Rustin Parr
Blair Witch Volume 1: Rustin Parr
What the fuck?
Hell's Kitchen: The Game
Hell's Kitchen: The Game
Gordon Ramsey is actually [Slur redacted]
Witch's Wish
Witch's Wish
PENDING
Devilman
Devilman
I don't know what I expected from this but this game was actually pretty cool minus the alone in the dark 3 ass platforming and dumb boob spider
Introvert: A Teenager Simulator
Introvert: A Teenager Simulator
When I’m in an own the libs competition and my opponent is the euphoric brothers and their ironic school shooting game
Mirror 2: Project X
Mirror 2: Project X
I played this pretty much by myself and Morris literally didn't pay attention to any of it because she was texting the whole time and she probably doesn't even remember me playing this and it's just going to stay that way forever
Purgatory 2
Purgatory 2
As funny as this game may have started, it just got weird and gross. I love my friend very much and I’m sorry that we sat through this for too long really
Cave Crawler
Cave Crawler
I was crawlin caves. Not a fan of the hole worms though,
Gohome
Gohome
Is what I would have loved to do while I played this
Floigan Bros.
Floigan Bros.
BRB [REDACTED]
The Shell of Permafrost
The Shell of Permafrost
This is the first good game I have played in months dear lord please put my soul to rest
Rewind or Die
Rewind or Die
The lower you've gotten on this list the less I have to say
Witch Hunt
Witch Hunt
Day 15 give it up for day 15 woooooo haha lol like woah. Wherewold??? haha hah wooo
Charlotte's Web
Charlotte's Web
If Steve Buscemi was in this game
Ao Oni 2
Ao Oni 2
This game is too nerve-racking, it's dangerous! :3 #AoOni2

27 Comments


1 year ago

Deadly Night was a stain on my family-friendly (mostly) shitty games track record

1 year ago

I mostly forgive you

1 year ago

I fucking hate the devil in me I wish we never played deadly night so you could slap that shit at the very bottom where it belongs

1 year ago

I mostly forgive you.

1 year ago

I was gonna say that I don't forgive YOU but then I saw the list. Thank u

1 year ago

why do you refer to me here as if I am some bodiless entity

1 year ago

You know why...

11 months ago

Please finish mr beans world i wanna go back.

11 months ago

Happy 69th game!

11 months ago

Purgatory is the perfect 69th game because that’s where I belong after playing the last 2 games and nothing special

11 months ago

we should of played dmmd for this occassion. Is there another funny sex number. 74?

11 months ago

@moschidae I'd like to refrain from answering.

11 months ago

Why is usagi so sad

11 months ago

@moschidae she was forced to play craftopia for 20 minutes

11 months ago

Craftopia wasnt that bad.... master spy however....

11 months ago

@moschidae you just don't understand the MASTERY of those SPIES

11 months ago

I care not for the elegance of the spies. Jobless is not crime.

11 months ago

@curse It was pretty neat, but I'm not good enough for it... Music was good though, surprised there was a pretty high profile name behind it. The goofy cutscenes were my positive take away, though.

11 months ago

@curse I might try it again sometime, but nay, I'm so poor right now that the 1.50 I spent on it is more valuable to me

10 months ago

I didnt understand why gollum was like that till i looked at their games just now and saw that thry made/published the suicide of Rachel foster and shooting stars.... smeagol just can not win...

10 months ago

@moschidae Smeagol fits right in

9 months ago

Happy 100 game. Do you feel altered.

9 months ago

Mort the chicken saved my life

9 months ago

Greyhill incident all alone on page 2

9 months ago

@moschidae not after tomorrow

8 months ago

Cho choo charler jumpscare......

7 months ago

Turkey burger.


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