what is a video game
oh, alright, i should learn how to read

was the nintendo 64 my aunt gave us part of her evading the IRS? I don't know, but this game's soundfont will leave a bigger imprint on my life than her

memory: being out of my gourd off pain medication and being given a copy of this game as a gift for having been through some sort of dental operation

I can still remember the small, static-y, silver plated combined TV/DVD player that this game was played to completion on. a new home, all white walls, no curtains, and this game in front of a window overlooking the street.

a game doesn't need to be good for you to make friends with others by playing it. even if their basement smells weird. at least there are friends there.

guitars hardwired straight into my cerebral cortex. battle mode exposes me to the concept of breaking games through doing crazy jumps through parts of the level that seem solid but are not in reality.

sometimes the first one isn't as good. this will be difficult for my child brain to understand

sometimes a menu track can embed itself into your mind for the entire rest of your life. one sega composer's throwaway track can add more pathos to a collection of games than any amount of advertising can. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yOUUS6JIRQ0

memory: the frustration of not having a fully unlocked save to play the multiplayer with at a friend's place. the concept of memory cards and save data is new. fresh.

memory: a friend calling me on the home phone to ask if I knew how to get through a certain section of the game. I told him to hold on, that I'd look it up on the family computer on gamefaqs. he thought we would have to hang up the phone. it was the first day my family had broadband internet installed.

playing a game without any context of what the game is, but being immersed in the aesthetic so hard that it doesn't matter if we just kept playing the same missions over and over

memory: the gamestop manager at the midnight release is doing cartwheels in the parking lot after ohio state defeats michigan in the "Game of the Century" I do not know what that means yet. my dad and I are freezing outside in line. I will play the wii for about 30 minutes before going to sleep when we get home. there was no reason to go to the midnight launch, it was a preorder. I will stay home sick and beat the entire game in one day. I have little memory of the game at all. it's hard to remember why I don't.

despite what the guy in the chat said, it turns out that alt+f4 does close the game

a rollercoaster of wonder and enjoyment beyond my wildest dreams, and betrayal and disappointment. what I was playing was not actually R.O.S.E. Online, but the open beta for R.O.S.E. Online. after a family vacation, I will discover that the game is now subscription based. I have no money. I am a child. the game that I knew is gone.

learning that you can never really replace one game with another, despite the fact that they are both 3d MMOs from korea.
an even worse realization that none of my friend's family PCs can run the game.

i do not have an xbox 360. i have never played halo before, as i wasn't allowed to. but seeing this through the eyes of older kids around me, even without context for "xbox live" or whatever may be connecting all of them, I know something special is happening here.

crushing disappointment. i have looked forward to this game for as long as i can remember. it was supposed to change everything. video games are dead.

i am still a child. i have no concept of what counter strike source is. all i know is that everything is purple and black checkers. multiplayer servers as a concept are new to me. a first person RTS gamemode will live forever in my head rent free

i think we need to upgrade the family pc

memory: a deflected pass wins me the super bowl in the fully redrafted, every game played or simulated franchise mode i play with my friends over xbox live. i will never experience this multiplayer mode again. who has the time but at that age.

turns out you don't have to be in the culture to accidentally play a total classic emulated on your motorola droid with the slideout keyboard

sometimes a giant skeleton is all it takes to put you off a franchise forever, to the point of not even buying the 3rd entry in it. maybe opinions aren't so set in stone. im legitimately surprised that i never bought this game as a teen to finish out the trilogy. i still have no interest. is that their fault or mine?

i just think it's funny how the guy i played this coop with would shoot me at every turn and let me die in QTEs, and he's a cop now. that's all.

being late to the party sucks

a satisfying gameplay loop can make even mundane things fun. even numbers. sometimes you just need a night filled with making texas state a p5 powerhouse to make yourself feel better. dudes rock.

the fantastic illusion of a game's atmosphere that has gripped you like none other, can be ruined by people upping their gamma settings

my declining enjoyment in what I'd now call AAA releases feels...strange

if that guy in astronomy class hadn't asked me if i knew what a ps vita was, would i be into literally anything i am to this day? i don't even think he was that into it it was like his girlfriend who gave him her vita. i don't even think he liked this game but i got to the ending and sobbed over never more. those piano keys on the title screen are intertwined with my memories of moving away from home in real life. i think this also got me into house music.

sometimes you just have to walk out of the house when you get hit by night queen and the protagonist casts mediaharan on the final phase of nyx. if it sucks, hit the bricks. even at 3 am.

don't judge a book by its cover. but like can you really blame me i mean the one annoying guy who i knew that had this game like, his dad was in the air force. can you really fucking blame me. honestly. but fuuuck what a game dude holy shit absolute must play

the first instance i can remember of actually going back to Understand. bought full price at a gamestop for $60 just before the shulk trailer dropped. thanks leakers. wait does that mean this was around when i started following weird japanese game news? maybe.

it's fun to be early to the party

the first instance i can remember of being so swept up by a game that i played it in one sitting

crushing disappointment. i have looked forward to this game for as long as i can remember. it was supposed to change everything. video games are dead.

joy. wonder. i didn't even know what this was before seeing it online after beating mgsv. this changes everything. video games are alive.

the first game i can remember that i just play to kill time and listen to podcasts. that's all.

understanding that i will never be good at a game, yet still playing hundreds of hours

crushing disappointment. i have looked forward to this game for as long as i can remember. it was supposed to change everything. video games are dead.

ive been waiting on this my whole life

it's a good thing that atlus delayed the persona 5 localization and i learned japanese out of spite cause hoo boy, this was my first one. it'll forever stay in my heart because of that.

crushing disappointment. i have looked forward to this game for as long as i can remember. it was supposed to change everything. video games are dead.

joy. wonder. i didn't even know what this was before seeing it online after beating cold steel iv. this changes everything. video games are alive.

a broken game with friends is often worth all the more than a working game without them. the laughs last longer.

forgiveness can lead to nice things, sometimes

that two page spread from vagabond where musashi has climbed a mountain but there are many other mountains to climb

i really needed to stop being a dick about only playing japanese games. there's way too much to lose by just shutting out anything else.

sometimes it's alright if you feel like what others describe as "kino" or later colloquially as "peak fiction", is just not good at all. that's okay.

style, substance, seeing stars

i really should have listened to that one guy years ago that id get better at tgm3 if i played 1 first.

memory: finding a networked dance evolution cab in 2023 on the 9th floor of a building in tokyo with my best friend and logging in with e-amusement. I've only ever played offline before. I will likely never get to see the various currencies, unlock animations or noises, or anything of the sort ever again. I'll never see it again. it may not even be recorded online in any video format. but it's all right here in my head.