grappling hooks: the cornerstone of video games

My first self-published game, I look back on it with a lot of bitterness, but doesn't everyone do that to their first big project? Learned a lot from the mistakes I made here as I look ahead to my next game

Gradius is kinda like a bad sexual partner. Keeps pumping and pumping, and then once he blows his load, totally useless

A bootleg JRPG could be worse, but it could be good, too

Kino

AW without dogshit balance just isn't AW, y'know?

Gay robots

This stuff is outside my wheelhouse of interest but it made my skin crawl when I read it, Squigglydot absolutely succeeded at her mission

It had potential, only feels like SEGA scrapped it cause it would compete with their own SOR1.

titanic

Awful

I'm on my radicalraisin shit, I've lost contact with this plane of existence, I'm unreal

The only video game I've played in recent memory that gave me the same sense of hopelessness and disorientation I felt as a kid playing hard games without access to the internet. An unpolished nugget, a marvelous mistake

There's a saying about how you have to judge games by their own merits but man it's impossible for me to see this as anything but a total misunderstanding of what made Cybernator good. Miserable, dreadful game.

Nintendo and Pokemon are going to hell

Dogshit! :D

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0ylv73hcK0

This is one of the worst sequels I've played in my life

Waking up to this was a trip

Thanks maradona

dogshit

dogshit

What is she exploring for? The "kitchen"? Lol! Biden 9/11 gas prices phones insurance moon pies

Clinger winger 2 is the second worst thing I've experienced in my life

Dogshit

Boobs?!?!?? I mean, Dogshit

dogshit

dogshit

Oh

THERE's my 8-bit Granada

:(

Dogshit

She jack in my pea until I firecore

?????????? when the fuck did i play this

Dogshit

dogshit

THEY MASSACRED MY BOY

Dogshit

Dogshit

A special 'grasping at straws' kind of dogshit

I'd rather not think about this one again

It's just bad NBA Jam!

Dogshit

It's just bad NBA Jam!

Dogshit but the shield mechanic deserves a second attempt

Dogshit

Jenny and I discovered the guy that made this lives somewhat close to me I need to get in touch with him somehow

this is what people think altered beast is (they're half-right)

Movie Guy Voice

i remember nothing about this other than it being incredibly cheap even by dragon's lair knockoff standards

Behind every cool/cute PC-E anime character is a dogshit kusoge

Dogshit (sorry C_F it was still fun playing it w/ you)

RACIST dogshit

I ALSO gave this as much of a charitable try as I could and it fucked me anyway, pre-Sonic Genesis RPG's really are soul-siphoning experiences

YOU PHYSICALLY CANNOT BEAT THIS GAME, THIS IS NOT AN EXAGGERATION, THEY DID NOT PROGRAM IT RIGHT, WHAT THE FUCK, HOW, HOW

You were so preoccupied with whether or not you could, you never considered whether or not you should

Dogshit

Behind every cool/cute PC-E anime character is a dogshit kusoge

Except these ones

SOMEONE PLEASE SAVE MY FAVORITE CHILDHOOD FRANCHISS FROM THE NO MONEY DIMENSION, PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU

Get your ass back in the mid mines, stupid

It ain't even tetris!!!

Dogshit

Dogshit on cocaine

her ass cannot Roll it is like she is afraid of Breaking a Fingernail like and subscribe

Tank controls are cool but this is a little overkill

Curse? More like, could be worse :)

And ya think it's bout time ya die, and I agree

Mid

It exists, lord knows I don't have any attachment to this incarnation of Pinocchio on a gameplay projection level

This and Zero Wing continue proving that whenever Toaplan tries to do art direction, horrible game design isn't far beyond the corner

roguelike (derogatory)

Dogshit (but has a good vibe)

Still mid

Mid by nature, dogshit by conception

Mid but it gave us Stepmania so I'm still winning

Mid

Even as Bass this plays horribly, Inafune was on something

Rareware fans are the only acceptable developer fans to mock. Actually that's not true, there's many others. But it's fun excluding rareware fans. Fuck rareware.

As bad as Ginga Force but it also has weaker music too and a forced 'kill them all peter' plot

Could probably be good if the bullets were even somewhat visible

I gave this the most charitable attempt in the fucking world and it was still dogshit

Amiga-core

Raiden burning the casserole right as Truxton comes home and says he had a bad day at work

Wait a minute! This isn't MUSHA! This is anal sex!!

Why did everyone gas this up so hard? This is the middest of the mid

Where's the gameplay?

The bar is on the floor

THIS right here is the peak of video games. No structure, no consistency, no playtesting, just you and 100 goofy-looking guys on a parallax background

This could've been a new fav if not for like, 2-3 horrible maze levels and the worst boss rush in a game I've played in a while

Felt disrespected on a personal level by this one

Thanks maradona

You hate Super Princess Peach because you misinterpreted its setting as calling Peach an over-emotional wuss. I hate Super Princess Peach cause it's a worse version of a dollar-store Yoshi game. We are not the same.

Man GG fans will just lie about anything

Mid

Mid

PLEASE buy our game! It has anime girls! Our penises our small and our dads left us!!

mid

Evil midkino? Idk they don't let me play as the ninja girl in this one :pensive:

The worst kind of dogshit is dogshit with cute character designs

I think the thing that confired most MS fans have no media literacy was watching them stumble over themselves to say this is better than NES Castlevania