Will This Super Smash Bros. Ultimate Fighter Return the Shopping Cart to the Rack?
When we think about the Smash Bros. franchise, people always ask the same dumb questions like "Who's getting in?" "Who's getting cut?" "Will dad come home with the milk and cigarettes?" and honestly, it upsets me to see how few neurons are firing in these discussions that circle around endlessly.
I think it's time that we start asking the real questions. Personally, I find The Shopping Cart Theory to be very interesting and very funny. I found myself asking myself "Which Smash Bros. fighters would actually return the cart?", which is probably the most insightful question any human being has ever asked regarding this franchise. I am here to answer such a riveting question. I hope that through my efforts you find the peace you were never searching for.
I will be using one game to represent each franchise and listing each character in said franchise, along with a simple yes or no (including explanations or additional information if I feel it is necessary).
I think it's time that we start asking the real questions. Personally, I find The Shopping Cart Theory to be very interesting and very funny. I found myself asking myself "Which Smash Bros. fighters would actually return the cart?", which is probably the most insightful question any human being has ever asked regarding this franchise. I am here to answer such a riveting question. I hope that through my efforts you find the peace you were never searching for.
I will be using one game to represent each franchise and listing each character in said franchise, along with a simple yes or no (including explanations or additional information if I feel it is necessary).
40 Games
Villager: No. Will try to pocket the cart to use as a lawn decoration.
Isabelle: Yes
Isabelle: Yes
Min Min: Yes
Mr. Game & Watch: No
Banjo: Yes
Kazooie: No. Will always call Banjo a loser when he does it.
Kazooie: No. Will always call Banjo a loser when he does it.
Bayonetta: No
Simon: Yes
Richter: No
Richter: No
Donkey Kong: No
Diddy Kong: No
King K. Rool: Yes. They would punch it really hard in the direction of the rack and act like they put it back normally, regardless of whether or not it was successful.
Diddy Kong: No
King K. Rool: Yes. They would punch it really hard in the direction of the rack and act like they put it back normally, regardless of whether or not it was successful.
DQ3 Hero: Yes
DQ4 Hero: Yes
DQ8 Hero: No
DQ11 Hero: Yes
DQ4 Hero: Yes
DQ8 Hero: No
DQ11 Hero: Yes
Duck Hunt Dog: No. Will leave it behind another person's car and cackle about it on the drive home.
Duck Hunt Bird: Is cackling along with the dog, so no.
Duck Hunt Bird: Is cackling along with the dog, so no.
Ness: Yes
Lucas: Yes
Lucas: Yes
Terry: No
Cloud: No
Sephiroth: No. Will slice the cart in half, rendering it unusable.
Sephiroth: No. Will slice the cart in half, rendering it unusable.
Marth: Yes
Lucina: Yes
Roy: No
Chrom: Only if the cart says no when he proposes to it, so yes.
Ike: Yes
Robin: No
Corrin: No
Byleth: No
Lucina: Yes
Roy: No
Chrom: Only if the cart says no when he proposes to it, so yes.
Ike: Yes
Robin: No
Corrin: No
Byleth: No
Captain Falcon: No. Wants to drive so badly that they'll leave the cart behind their car and knock it away as they hastily reverse out of the spot, sending the cart directly into a parked car and setting off the car alarm.
R.O.B.: Yes, but it would take a while.
Ice Climbers: Popo and Nana will have a rock-paper-scissors match to decide who puts the cart back if they are together. If apart, they will not return the cart.
Pit: Yes
Dark Pit: No. Gets upset if you ask him to.
Palutena: Like Peach, will only do it if others are around to see her.
Dark Pit: No. Gets upset if you ask him to.
Palutena: Like Peach, will only do it if others are around to see her.
Sora: No, but only until someone judges him for it. After that, he does it every time without fail.
Kirby: No. They have "mysteriously" obtained the shopping cart ability and now the cart they used is gone.
Meta Knight: Yes
King DeDeDe: If he has a Waddle Dee near him, he will make it return the cart. If not, he will leave it near the parking spot.
Meta Knight: Yes
King DeDeDe: If he has a Waddle Dee near him, he will make it return the cart. If not, he will leave it near the parking spot.
Link: No
Shiek: No
Zelda: No, but they will judge others if they don't.
Young Link: Yes
Ganondorf: No. He'll laugh at you if you insist he should.
Toon Link: Yes
Shiek: No
Zelda: No, but they will judge others if they don't.
Young Link: Yes
Ganondorf: No. He'll laugh at you if you insist he should.
Toon Link: Yes
Mega Man: Yes
Snake: No. Will attempt to hide in the cart.
Samus: No
Dark Samus: No, but evil.
Ridley: No. They'll hide it in a wall knowing no normal human will have the means to acquire the missiles necessary to free it.
Zero Suit Samus: No, but with less clothes.
Dark Samus: No, but evil.
Ridley: No. They'll hide it in a wall knowing no normal human will have the means to acquire the missiles necessary to free it.
Zero Suit Samus: No, but with less clothes.
Little Mac: Yes. Will lightly box with the shopping cart as it rolls towards the rack if nobody is looking.
Steve: Only after attempting to ride in it and tipping over, falling flat on his flat face.
Alex: Only if she feels like it, so not very often.
Alex: Only if she feels like it, so not very often.
Pac-Man: If he feels like he has the time to, then yes. Every other time, though, nope!
Joker: Only if he thinks people will like him more for doing it.
Olimar: No
Pikachu: Only if they think they'll be praised for it.
Jigglypuff: No
Pichu: Yes
Mewtwo: Yes. Will use psychic ability to move the cart to the rack so they don't have to float over to it themselves.
Pokémon Trainer: Yes. Will groan before doing so.
Lucario: Yes
Greninja: Yes, but only if they believe that somebody who recognized them saw them with the cart while they were unloading groceries.
Incineroar: No
Jigglypuff: No
Pichu: Yes
Mewtwo: Yes. Will use psychic ability to move the cart to the rack so they don't have to float over to it themselves.
Pokémon Trainer: Yes. Will groan before doing so.
Lucario: Yes
Greninja: Yes, but only if they believe that somebody who recognized them saw them with the cart while they were unloading groceries.
Incineroar: No
Sonic: Yes, if only because he knows he can do it quickly.
Inkling: Yes
Fox: Only if Falco is nearby to act like he has the moral high ground.
Falco: No. Will call Fox a loser when he does it.
Wolf: No
Falco: No. Will call Fox a loser when he does it.
Wolf: No
Ryu: Yes
Ken: If alone, no. If with anyone else, he will and then act really smug about it.
Ken: If alone, no. If with anyone else, he will and then act really smug about it.
Mii Brawler: Depends on who the Mii is representing.
Mii Swordfighter: Depends on who the Mii is representing.
Mii Gunner: Depends on who the Mii is representing.
Mii Swordfighter: Depends on who the Mii is representing.
Mii Gunner: Depends on who the Mii is representing.
Mario: Yes.
Luigi: Yes.
Peach: Only if others are around.
Daisy: No
Bowser: No. He would smash it so nobody else can use it.
Dr. Mario: Yes
Rosalina: Yes
Bowser Jr.: No. Would leave it in an open spot purposefully.
Pirahhna Plant: No. They would eat the cart.
Luigi: Yes.
Peach: Only if others are around.
Daisy: No
Bowser: No. He would smash it so nobody else can use it.
Dr. Mario: Yes
Rosalina: Yes
Bowser Jr.: No. Would leave it in an open spot purposefully.
Pirahhna Plant: No. They would eat the cart.
Yoshi: No. They have eaten the shopping cart by the time you had the thought to even ask.
Kazuya: Only if there isn't a nearby ledge to drop it off of.
Wario: No. Will attempt to sell the cart to strangers.
Wii Fit Trainer: Yes
Shulk: Yes
Pyra: Yes
Mythra: No, unless you guilt trip her about it.
Pyra: Yes
Mythra: No, unless you guilt trip her about it.
21 Comments
My guy is truly making the most transformative lists on the platform and I'm about it.
I love this so much
You'd better believe Ike and the Earthbound Boys will return that cart. Their moral compasses are unyielding.
Extremely insightful. I'm now spending the rest of my day pondering on which characters would glide around on the cart through the supermarket.
Fantastic list
This is such a good list
Let's say that, hypothetically, the Mii Brawler is representing you in this scenario. Is Mii Brawler putting the shopping cart back? 🤨
@hotpoppah Yes, he is. He may not have done it in his childhood, but as an adult he realizes how simple it is to just bring the cart to the rack and does it every time.
If you're gonna do alts like Steve and Alex and the different Dragon Quest heroes, you might as well go even further, with the Koopalings, Pokemon Trainer's Pokemon, Alf,Zombie & Enderman, all the characters with male and female alts. ect, because I'm forgetting at least one.
@UrLocalBanktoad We love a character arc!!
wdym terry wouldn't?
"no, but evil' nearly made me spit out my drink
Dark Pit would return the cart for sure though. He would just make a stink that he is under any moral obligation to do so
what would alph do ?
@mlinguine Alph would return the cart every time.
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One of the best lists in this site.
I think Cloud would do it if he was alone but if he was with other people he wouldn't because he'd think it makes him look weak.
Also since Snake in smash is kinda more like a mix of Big Boss and Solid I'll say that Solid Snake defintley would but Big Boss wouldn't.
Also since Snake in smash is kinda more like a mix of Big Boss and Solid I'll say that Solid Snake defintley would but Big Boss wouldn't.
I have the mental image of Min Min standing at her car and just stretching her arms out to put the cart in the corral without needing to move.
id like to see what the zombie and enderman would do
NOWITSREYNTIME17
1 month ago