Twennytoo Five Hundo
In future year AD2022 I apparently logged 500 video games (mostly just played, not finished - can you even imagine). Am I proud of it? Of course not, brother, pride is a sin. Here they are in their entirety in order of play:
500 Games
Replay. I first played this on PS4 when I didn't have PS+ so pretty much the only thing I could do was the campaign or the arcade mode things, so obviously I thought it stunk. Having played it on PC now the online modes are definitely fun but the stripping out of things like KDR stats, maps decided by player choice, etc. are completely vile to me. If this is what multiplayer shooters are like now I'll pass.
Another free on PS+ trap. Whilst I was playing this a friend sent me a message asking if I was OK and they were right to do so.
Just looked and felt low-rent, like a Flash game you would have played in the early 2000s. The whole ancient warriors fuck yeah thing isn't really for me either.
Obviously took a ton of work to get it looking and sounding like it does, but I don't think the gameplay is very exciting. It never feels like I'm doing anything to bosses, either - even with damage modifiers it seemed like they would enter their next phase at a predetermined point. Gimme a healthbar at least!
Don't have much to say about this other than I think I appreciate this style of dungeon crawler more than I actually enjoy playing them.
Genuinely astounding effort for one guy. Awesome combo system, this was walking the Streets of Rage 4 walk before that game existed. Only problems I have with it are the lighting is a bit much at times and the main girl leans way too hard into anime fanservice for my taste. Genuinely really good game.
Another game I'd had sitting for ages and finally got around to finishing. The final stretch of this had me dancing about like a madman. Real highpoint of the series stuff.
Fantastic animation ruined by physics and controls unchanged from the 80s. I've no idea why folk bother doing stuff like this.
It's fine, but I'm not really sure why it exists. What reason is there for not just putting all these characters into Warriors Orochi instead?
Decent enough indie shmup, although it doesn't really have much visual personality.
Tried this after enjoying the Gunvolt stuff but I wasn't into how it controlled at all.
Started this when I first got a Switch, got round to finishing it this year. Can't say I understand what everyone sees in it - world has nothing interesting in it and the story dungeons are just the same thing four times. Or was it five? I don't remember. Dull.
Even worse than regular River City Ransom, because it introduces a bunch of characters who would be cool in any other game but are stuck in this one.
Replay, technically. I've started this a bunch of times, shelved it, forgotten all of it and restarted. Gonna try and not do it this time!
Weird not-very-good game that feels like it's some in-joke I'm not getting between steamers or something.
Replay. Golf It night with the boys. Get a solid custom map and it's a great laugh.
Trying very hard to be the NES games, but not quite managing it. A bit sad about this one.
Uses the Her Story framework to show us FMVs of I assume the developers and their mates filming in their grandparents' clothes. The video is endearingly amateurish but the actual playing had me eventually just getting lucky with random keywords more than following the threads to their conclusion. Maybe it's easier in French.
Scott Pilgrimcore. Nope.
Just a fun arcade game. Some parts of this are absolute nails.
Not great. I'm not sure why they bothered to make a musou of Berserk in the first place given how few characters fit the style.
Replay technically, although last time round I only got as far as the first time you're actually able to move about and said fuck this. A lot of my friends hold this game in very high regard so I'm giving it another go, but went and did other stuff immediately after finishing the first chapter. I'll keep trying but Suda has yet to make a game I've enjoyed.
Peak of the series here, I think. Copen is a great addition and is super fun to play.
Hyper-edgy game. Combat is pretty satisfying but not deep enough to justify the length and large number of samey enemies.
Got suckered in by the Hiroaki artwork. Lackluster beatemup for anime perverts. I'm good, thanks.
DIdn't really care for the style and the forced walking segments are a totally nonsensical addition, but there are some good boss fights here even if they run out of steam towards the end (final boss is really shitty). Don't know if it was just my control setup or what but I felt like I was fighting against an auto-aim a lot of the time in the ranged parts.
Finally decided to take the plunge and play this. It's guff. Not the absolute worst game ever made, but there's just no reason to ever play this instead of a Mega Man game. Gave up at the Call stealth section, who has the time.
Didn't play this at the time because I assumed it would be crap. It's okay! The open world is a bit naff but the parkour is still really fun.
An interesting deviation from the standard belt scroller formula, but not very engaging beyond that.
Leans more towards Dragon Quest than it does towards musou for my liking. Takes forever as well.
Played this with some folk during a Work Get Together. Knowing you can't win but can deny someone else their shot is intoxicating.
It's pretty cool, isn't it? I noticed the other day that I've finally been knocked off the top of my friends list by a few seconds. Raging. Will have to go back to it!
Tiny indie platformer that had been sitting in my Steam library for ages and could be finished in no time, so I threw it on. One of those you play once and never again, but neat idea.
Actually pretty good! Just a shame that it contains Doug "The Nostalgia Critic" Walker. If you play it, just try to pretend he's not there.
Replay. Thought this was pretty weak when it came out, opinion remains unchanged, but the Batgirl DLC was good.
Saw a free shmup on PS+, got a bit into it and then got the pervert shit dropped on me when I got hit. That was a surprise! Found out afterwards you can turn that stuff off, so that's a mercy.
First time playing the series. The gameplay is cool! There's some niggles - I don't think the crafting system stuff really adds anything - but the core of it is solid. Don't care at all about all the light novel-tier story guff, though, and the designs of female characters are suspect to say the least.
Very easy Mega Man clone. I'd seen people say that Beck is hard mode, and I guess he is in relative terms, because I replayed this later in the year as Gunvolt and I could probably have done it with my eyes closed.
By this point I'd played a lot of shmups and I think this is the first one where I really wondered how anyone could 1CC it. Wild!
Has the same problem of being visually unremarkable that 3 has, but I was actually able to finish this one, so that means it's great, excellent, etc.
Emphasis on the melee attack is cool, but otherwise I wasn't that into it.
Replay. Not really sure why I went back to this. I think it was because I had been saying "Deathstroke the Terminator" out loud a lot and thinking it was really funny.
This is in the same vein as something like The Dishwasher for me - i.e., games that I assume you're probably into if you like Jhonen Vasquez.
More Kunio-kun that I cannot abide.
This has about as much relation to actual Double Dragon as the movie does. Total slop, don't even think about it.
Scott Pilgrim, but now composed exclusively of anime pervert characters. I wish for a world where its kind cannot exist.
Oh jeez, I'm sorry, no, Sigma 2 is fine. I couldn't finish this. No idea what they were thinking.
Mizuki McCloud is a really funny name though.
Mizuki McCloud is a really funny name though.
Don't like Guilty Gear at all but played this with some friends who were trying to get into it. If I played it I would main Venom.
At least, another actually good Double Dragon game! It can be frustrating at points (staring directly at the final boss) but I think the dodge stuff is really fun. Not huge into the 80s throwback stuff, it's always under about ten separate layers of irony, but it does have the single best rendition of the Double Dragon theme.
Replay. Decided to just go through a bunch of the Arkham games after Origins. Still solid! Had never played the DLC so I gave that a bash, it is definitely less good. Just remembered the reason I played these was because I was rewatching all of Batman TAS at the time. Still a great show, I recommend doing the same.
Another Guardian Heroes-alike. I don't think I'm into these, sorry!
Fun as a tribute to the NES but it couldn't really hold my attention.
There's something I can never quite put my finger on about 3DS platformers. They always feel like they have pretty similar physics to them, and I don't think those feel particularly good. Didn't jive with this but you could probably do worse.
Got tricked into playing this by friends (i.e. they said I should and I agreed despite knowing better). The first one sucked, this one is even worse.
The amount of work that's gone into this is insane, and it wasn't for nothing: this game is very cool! I need to play more.
Replay. Initially played the PSP release of this but never finished it, so grabbed the Steam release when it hit and went through it. It's funny!
Replay. There can be no justice in the world as long as this is stuck on the Wii of all things. No idea why it was exclusive in the first place.
I don't think it's as great as the first game, but it's still very good! Though it's driving me mental that the first uses "and" but this uses "&" on here.
Okay this one is worse.
Nothing like the PS2 game, but a lot like a whole bunch of garbage beatemups. Don't bother with it.
Not much here. Platformer with some rules quirks that you can finish in one quick sitting. Again, one you play once and never go back to, but that's fine.
I'd played the first episode of this before but decided to go through the whole thing from the start before I play Return. Promptly put it to the side after getting distracted by other stuff.
It's very funny that From made this. Hyperjank, I guess I'll finish it for lols at some point.
Kamen Rider Garren! Whoah! Oh this is a visual novel, not an FMV game. Well, maybe there'll be a lot of gameplay to make up for i- oh. Never mind.
These polygonal entries don't ever really seem to have the oomph of their 2D counterparts, but it's still a good game and I had a big smile on my face when the one boss shifts into TFIV player form and Lightning Strikes Again starts playing.
Replay. Didn't like it on release, didn't like it now.
Very weird e-mail themed shmup? Not really that great but worth a look for the unique theme.
Another shmup I am never, ever going to 1CC.
The kind of TV show adaptation game we deserve more of - missions are presented like episodes of the show, you get the little title stings, the eyecatches, all of it (The Space Sheriff Spirits is also very good for this stuff). Gameplay-wise it's an otherwise unremarkable TPS but if you like VOTOMs you will probably get a kick out this for a while. You skate about, it does the noise. Mission accomplished.
Played this for the first time after having it installed on like three separate PCs at this point. I'm not far enough in to say much about it.
Still playing this, it's pretty cool! Obviously doesn't have the budget and weight of even the GBA Ace Attorneys behind it but the total devotion to the hard boiled clichés is very endearing. I like how much of it is just down to legwork. So far I think I would play a bunch more of these.
My 360 is broken and I couldn't be holed emulating so Black was out of the question, had to settle for this. Is it as good? Absolutely not. It's still Ninja Gaiden though, it's still a good game.
Probably a little overlong for what it is, but this is a solid GBA game.
Another good Cave game. It's no Ketsui, though!
Replay. One of the best games ever made. If you've never played God Hand, please go play God Hand.
Replay. Perfect game.
Completely odious game. I genuinely have no idea why or how this got made.
Again, didn't like it as much as ESP Ra.De., but it's still good!
Very cool game. Remake this please.
This is pretty cool but I'm not into Mortal Kombat so I couldn't be bothered finishing it. Probably really fun with two players.
About as good as GT: Final Bout, i.e. not very.
Not amazing but a pretty charming little game. Parrying blaster bolts back will always be fun.
Replay. Bad. Everyone knows it.
Oh, so the bug princess does nothing but kill bugs? Typical royals. These Cave shmups with tiny hurtboxes are very fun!
Started this whilst I was on a bit of a Holmes kick from watching some of the Jeremy Brett series. I cooled off but I'll get back to it eventually!
Game was fine, but the thing that stuck with me the most was the music.
Replay. I've been dipping in and out all year, only at this point that I decided to actually log it. This game is always going to hold a very special place in my heart, even if I've done pretty much all I want to do in it.
A weird one. A dungeon crawl-brawler, it seemed pretty interesting but I feel like I must have missed something with the combat. Surely can't be as basic as it seemed to me?
Well, this is no good. Solid remix of the main theme though.
A Simple Series game, and boy, does it show. There's a character that's clearly just supposed to be Tetsuya Watari though, and that's good.
The first PS2 game iterated on slightly, i.e. very good. You should play these!
Another cool Cave (kool Kave) game. Not into the look as much as I am ESP Ra.De. but it's fine!
For no reason I can discern the song It Came From Japan by the Von Bondies popped into my head, and I had to remember why I even know that song, and I remembered it's because it was in this game so I had to go play it. THPS it is not.
A Castlevania that features almost no platforming. Also come on, you don't even fight Dracula!
I don't think I really got this one. Might need to replay.
A friend and I make a point of occasionally playing through games in what we affectionately call the Dumbass genre (see: much of the Xbox 360 catalogue). This is one of the ones we didn't feel like finishing.
Don't remember much of this beyond there being some long button combinations you had to do for specific sections.
VERY COOL. This is one that I'm absolutely going to keep coming back to. Just relentless, I love how the proximity gimmick means that against bosses it feels like you're mashing up against each other and trying to force each other down. Great.
Metal Slug-ish. Not as good as any of those but still okay!
Bad. It's not worth it.
4 Comments
Damn this is impressive
Did you complete Ring Fit?!
@Vee this took me days lol
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
Vee
1 year ago
Bayou Billy is one of the most unfun NES games I ever played, goddamn what a slog-filled and mean-spirited game.