Twennytoo Five Hundo
In future year AD2022 I apparently logged 500 video games (mostly just played, not finished - can you even imagine). Am I proud of it? Of course not, brother, pride is a sin. Here they are in their entirety in order of play:
500 Games
Pretty standard stuff for the time, I guess. It's interesting to see what characters Sega were throwing out before they came up with Sonic.
Replay. Another one where I think I like the idea of it more than I do actually playing it. When characters from it show up in other SNK things I think that's cool!
Knocked me for six. What a cool game! Boss health is excessive but that's my only issue. This one really got me itching to go on a run of shmups.
I've played all of 10 minutes of this so far, can't say anything.
It feels really difficult in these Psikyo joints to claw back your momentum after getting killed. Like, moreso than most other shmups. And I get killed a lot so that's trouble!
Played under the name Vendetta. Konami's first real pretty good effort. OTGing people is good and punching people's fingers so they lose grip and fall off the stage: great.
Oh, this is just Beatmania. Well cool, I like Beatmania! Also I'm terrible at Beatmania!
Why does THIS game look like this? Who put THEM up to it?
Some decent moments to build up the tension in this, and the subject matter is mildly interesting, but there's not really much else to say about it. It does get a bit on the nose with the "CIA bad" message at points, but well, yeah, they are bad, sure!
I'd probably be interested in checking out some of the later Gradius games, but this one didn't do much for me.
Rival Turf 2 - still bad.
I finished this one but am totally blanking on anything about it.
Replay. I've been dipping in and out all year, only at this point that I decided to actually log it. This game is always going to hold a very special place in my heart, even if I've done pretty much all I want to do in it.
Not much to say about this. Not good.
This has about as much relation to actual Double Dragon as the movie does. Total slop, don't even think about it.
Fun as a tribute to the NES but it couldn't really hold my attention.
Similar to Battle Garegga, so it's decent enough but not one of my favourites. The number of ships available is pretty good!
I remember this being fairly basic but fun. A lot of these PC-Engine games have good music that is totally overpowered by loud, bad SFX.
Replay. Bad. Everyone knows it.
Another NES platformer that wasn't very good. Think I was playing these because they had translations.
Another one where I think it's conceptually really cool but doesn't quite live up to it in play. Maybe I'll give it another shot at some point.
I think the release of this I played might have had a different title but that's the only thing I recall of it.
This is Video Games.
Replay. I finished this as a kid and remember thinking it was cool. Adult me is less enamored with it.
Do celebrities get mad when people make shitty games with their name on them? I would.
Fun throwback shooter - I'd never heard of it but a friend said hey, you might like this and they were right. Nice!
Cool game. Iceman's post-mission dialogue is incredible.
Genuinely astounding effort for one guy. Awesome combo system, this was walking the Streets of Rage 4 walk before that game existed. Only problems I have with it are the lighting is a bit much at times and the main girl leans way too hard into anime fanservice for my taste. Genuinely really good game.
I don't think I really got this one. Might need to replay.
Another free PS+ game. Serviceable beatemup, it's way longer than it needs to be but the combat is decent and I had replayed Sifu a few days before so I was in the mood for more kung fu.
Didn't get anywhere near finishing it, but it did seem really cool. I need to play it more.
A friend and I make a point of occasionally playing through games in what we affectionately call the Dumbass genre (see: much of the Xbox 360 catalogue). This is one of the ones we didn't feel like finishing.
Darius Gaiden's little brother. Great atmosphere and boss designs makes up for slightly subpar gameplay.
Thought this might be cool but as soon as I saw the battle system I nope'd straight out. Not in the market for turn-based beatemups, sorry.
Decidedly less cool.
A much worse NES platformer that I played for the license.
It's fine, but I'm not really sure why it exists. What reason is there for not just putting all these characters into Warriors Orochi instead?
Game was fine, but the thing that stuck with me the most was the music.
Cool stuff here, almost rhythm-game like. Some of the bosses can be frustrating but I had a good time with it.
Just rewatch the movie, which is very good, instead of playing this game, which is very bad.
Bad. Move on.
Probably would have liked it a lot if I played it at the time of release, but this ended up being a big-time disappointment. Just felt sluggish and killing things took forever. Obviously looks awesome, though.
Supremely frustrating game because it looks and sounds absolutely awesome - they are clearly pushing the Neo Geo to its absolute limit - but it plays like complete ass. It takes two full attack strings to break open an item barrel. Every aspect of gameplay is coated in extra thick molasses.
Konami's best effort by a country mile, probably because it's just a Final Fight remake in all but name. Super punchy and satisfying to play, absolutely awesome soundtrack accompanies the carnage. Buy me Violent Storm or go to hell!
Fairly standard beatemup but the Conan aesthetic is very strong here. Has that one great track that's in Taiko as well.
I started this but then realised I could get the Ultimate version instead. Whoops!
Copen's gameplay is switched up to make him more melee-focused and he loses some of his movement options. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. Definitely a step down from the first game, but I like Brigade's design.
You walk along a perfectly straight level and then you fight a boss. Way too long for how simplistic it is, but you do have way more moves than I would expect.
Not really a kart racer guy but this seemed decent enough. Did you know Yoshinori Ono of SF4 fame was the composer for this? Crazy!
Metal Slug-ish. Not as good as any of those but still okay!
More Gunvolt Burst. It's still easy, still fine to zip through if you have 20 minutes.
The title of this game is so funny. It's like a weird post-apocalyptic setting! Undercover cops for what?!
Anyway it's decent, it's Irem so everything has that slightly Metal Sluggy look.
Anyway it's decent, it's Irem so everything has that slightly Metal Sluggy look.
A lot of bright, creative designs but the gameplay is very basic. Can't hate though, fun name to say.
Leans more towards Dragon Quest than it does towards musou for my liking. Takes forever as well.
This is what I wish wizards in movies and stuff were like. Just firing huge amounts of magic shit at everyone constantly. Doing a highest level Dragon's Dogma spell 50 times a minute. ZAP
Mainly played this port to hear the music. Sadly not as good as I was hoping, but this version also has a bunch of low-rent cutscenes where the Brothers Lee are Kenshiro clones with turn of the 90s anime hair. Dope.
More of the same. The cover art for these is really cool though, right?
Really disappointed with this one. It looks good, I love the parry system and the animations that come out of it, it's really satisfying to catch a strike and then kick the shit out of the guy, but it takes 100 years to kill anything at all. A slog in the purest sense. Really sad.
A brawler that has a pretty extensive movelist for a two-button controller, but sadly this doesn't stop it being janky and dull.
I think the C64 might not be the best system for this genre.
Really tough in parts, but still a really cool game. Honorary Amemiyacore.
Replay. I'd started this aaaages ago and gave it another bash this year. It's very impressive, but there really is only so much you can do with Skyrim. It's a great effort but it's just not built on a good base.
This, D.D. Crew and DJ Boy form an unholy triumvirate of terror.
Replay. SNK tries a Final Fight rip but with added ripoff music. Okay, but again feels like they can't keep up with the curve.
Another free on PS+ trap. Whilst I was playing this a friend sent me a message asking if I was OK and they were right to do so.
Another Three Kingdoms one. Not awful, but there's not much in the way of variety so I didn't feel like finishing it.
Fine I guess, but it can be really hard to make out what's actually going on in these polygonal ones.
These polygonal entries don't ever really seem to have the oomph of their 2D counterparts, but it's still a good game and I had a big smile on my face when the one boss shifts into TFIV player form and Lightning Strikes Again starts playing.
A very basic 3D beatemup, but you can smash enemies into tons of stuff or smash enemies with tons of stuff, so that's good. I like the main guy's brown leather jacket/red gloves combo!
This Legend has been entirely forgotten by me.
This game can fuck right off. Honestly.
Same as Gunbird.
A better beatemup than the original game is, but still not particularly great.
Obviously very funny to look at but it plays like ass.
Hilariously edgy and kind of janky but it has that same fun quality of a Hotline Miami where positioning, prioritisation and full use of all your tools pays off big. Also very satisfying in its scrambliness when you don't do any of those and are just using everything around you on the fly.
Replay. Superseded by the remakes but this is still okay. Obviously the music rules.
An interesting deviation from the standard belt scroller formula, but not very engaging beyond that.
I don't really remember anything about this, but I shelved it, so I must have thought it was decent enough to go back to at some point.
Another kind of drudgy SNK effort but worth a look for KOF history reasons.
Impressive amount of playable characters by the end of the game but otherwise not really all that great, I thought.
The amount of work that's gone into this is insane, and it wasn't for nothing: this game is very cool! I need to play more.
Much better than the original. Weird, kind of grotesque designs and Winkysoft doing a Winkysoft as hell soundtrack. Final boss music just sounds like a Masou Kishin track, which is a-OK by me.
It's fine. I don't like that title though.
Trying very hard to be the NES games, but not quite managing it. A bit sad about this one.
Extremely short game apparently made for a game dev contest? Well, it's cool anyway!
Nothing like the PS2 game, but a lot like a whole bunch of garbage beatemups. Don't bother with it.
I played the Japanese version, Gun-Dec. Ninja Gaiden-ish for the most part, there's also some driving stages that are essentially on-road shmup sections. Had never heard of it before this year, it's cool!
Another Neo Geo release that feels like a relic for the time.
Kind of cool, but just a little too annoying for me.
All I remember is that it was a mech game. I finished it, so it must have been decent!
Replay. Remake of the arcade game that is better than the arcade game. Love to see it! Only complaint is it doesn't have Daddy Mulk.
Genuinely awful. Konami were really not good at this early on.
Don't have much to say about the game, but Joe Madureira should be outlawed.
Not great. Interesting for its setting, I guess.
Got suckered in by the Hiroaki artwork. Lackluster beatemup for anime perverts. I'm good, thanks.
Some sections ended up just being way too frustrating for me to actually finish this game, but everything up to that point was absolute top notch kusoge. Amazing how janky and low-rent one game can be. Highly recommended.
A good remake of the good remake. Japanese title is better.
Memory not found. I'll take your word for it.
Just not that engaging after playing a bunch of games that were the same thing but better.
Don't remember much, other than it being pretty bland outside of the player character being a kabuki guy, which is cool and more games should do.
4 Comments
Damn this is impressive
Did you complete Ring Fit?!
@Vee this took me days lol
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
Vee
1 year ago
Bayou Billy is one of the most unfun NES games I ever played, goddamn what a slog-filled and mean-spirited game.