Twennytoo Five Hundo
In future year AD2022 I apparently logged 500 video games (mostly just played, not finished - can you even imagine). Am I proud of it? Of course not, brother, pride is a sin. Here they are in their entirety in order of play:
500 Games
Replay. I finished this as a kid and remember thinking it was cool. Adult me is less enamored with it.
Don't remember anything about it, but I didn't finish it so I must not have liked it, which is disappointing for a game called Karate Blazers.
Replay. The worst of these Konami licensed games, I think. Just total guff.
Replay. One of Capcom's many remakes of Final Fight But in [Setting]. This time it's the grim future of...uh...4 years from now. It's fine, mostly gets points for being a little weird. Mack the Knife rules.
Replay. Designed by Cenobites. You know how everyone talks about the Turbo Tunnel? Real testament to just how bad the Turbo Tunnel is that you never hear anyone talk about the level immediately after it which is even worse.
Is there any earlier example of Just Defend in a game? Capcom beating SNK to the punch by 8 years. It's fine enough I guess, but later efforts are much better.
Another kind of drudgy SNK effort but worth a look for KOF history reasons.
Pretty run-of-the-mill stuff other than the gimmick of being able to smash enemies into the background and break it, which does not get old.
Replay. Playing it alongside all these other games in the genre, you can see how basic it is in terms of level design and so on, but it really is just the coolest game of all time. The style, the sound, all of it really plants you directly onto the streets as you plant crims directly into the street. Love it.
Not much to say about this. Not good.
Think this is the one that's really zoomed out and a lot the environment is destructible? Cool concept but it didn't feel very good to play.
Interesting idea, but that's all.
Replay. Thought this game was cool as hell as a kid, and hey, I still like it! The first-person sections are still very fun. Did this have Menacer support?
Kudos for being weird but it's not particularly good.
I finished this one but am totally blanking on anything about it.
Now this is how you do an arena brawler, Renegade! Silly and fun. Bouncing someone's head off the concrete as an OTG attack is extremely satisfying. "The Slash Skate Screamers" is an incredible name for a gang.
Another Neo Geo release that feels like a relic for the time.
Not a good game at all, but the obvious big thing here is that it's one of the first instances of microtransactions, and is pure evil.
I have no idea what the original cabinet was like for this, but this is a bit of a chore to play on a regular controller. I like the general weirdness of it though, and the invincible Robojacko. However it is unbelievable that it has tons of licensed Jackson music and the zombie level does not have Thriller. What the fuck!
Genuinely awful. Konami were really not good at this early on.
Another one I don't remember anything of. Sorry!
I think the C64 might not be the best system for this genre.
I think the release of this I played might have had a different title but that's the only thing I recall of it.
Wanted to like this more than I did (due to it being a few characters removed from being called Dynasty Warriors).
Replay. Have never liked this game - I guess you can say the RPG elements were worth trying at the time, but I think the implementation here just goes against what's actually fun about the genre. And obviously it directly led to the Scott Pilgrim game, which is even worse.
I do not remember a single thing about this game.
Only got this partly working from what I remember. Whatever, it's Renegade, I didn't care.
Bad. Move on.
Replay. I like this game still! The not-Conan world is really cool, love the big turtle village and the eagle stage.
Replay. I don't know who it was that convinced the world that the licensed Konami beatemups are really good but they were doing the devil's work. I guess I can see how it would be fun if you had four players on the go and it does look and sound great, but the gameplay absolutely reeks. No impact to a single thing you do.
Weird. In order to jump across gaps, climb ladders, etc. you have to stand on little X marks and watch the animation play out like it's a film set or something. Pretty janky.
Replay. The daddy. It definitely shows its age these days but it's still just so cool. Easy to see just how influential it was. What a game!
Not good!
Not great. Interesting for its setting, I guess.
Woooof. I actually finished this one and I have no idea why - it's not fun at all.
It's Renegade again, so it's not really very good, but the Tim Follin soundtrack is hot fire.
Not terrible, but the SNK stuff always feels like it's behind the curve even at this relatively early stage.
Replay. Fucking hell, man. Just one of the most tedious games ever made.
Replay. Bad Dudes is not a good-ass game.
Replay. King shit. Double Dragon II is a good-ass game.
Pretty standard stuff for the time, I guess. It's interesting to see what characters Sega were throwing out before they came up with Sonic.
Arcade version. Didn't like it as much as the NES version, just felt a lot shakier overall.
Replay. I'm still amazed a game like this got made and released on home console at the time!
Played the Mega Drive version as a kid so I went for the arcade version here. Similarly clunky and not really all that fun, but all the monster transformation stuff is still cool and the voice clips are always funny.
The only thing I can remember about this is that I didn't like it.
Didn't think this was really all that good but I do like the Conan-rip aesthetic.
Replay. Superseded by the remakes but this is still okay. Obviously the music rules.
Now we're getting it. Still very playable and has one of the best title themes of all time.
Notabe for laying a lot of the groundwork for the genre and as an early Technos effort, but this just isn't particularly fun.
The up/down/middle system of blocking and attacking is interesting enough for the time I guess, but this is too jank to really be fun.
The first stop on my journey of playing every game listed in the beatemup history book Go Straight. Not great.
Played a bit of the first game in this reboot series and decided it was very Not For Me, but I gave this a bash after seeing it go for dirt cheap and enjoyed it a lot more. Maybe due to all the actual tomb raiding/adventure stuff in it. Avoiding ancient temple deathtraps: fun! Who knew! The bit where Lara Croft gives in to her Dark Passenger is funny, though sadly I think you're meant to take it very seriously.
Got suckered in by the Hiroaki artwork. Lackluster beatemup for anime perverts. I'm good, thanks.
Got a couple of levels in before deciding I couldn't be holed at the minute. I'll get back to it at some point.
Didn't play this at the time because I assumed it would be crap. It's okay! The open world is a bit naff but the parkour is still really fun.
Did the Golden Deer route. Tooooo long for what it is. Not bothered about most of the characters either. I liked Awakening well enough but I don't think I have it in me to play Fire Emblem regularly.
Definitely has more effort put into it than a bunch of the other licensed musous but I will never understand why they keep removing the ability to jump from these.
Started this when I first got a Switch, got round to finishing it this year. Can't say I understand what everyone sees in it - world has nothing interesting in it and the story dungeons are just the same thing four times. Or was it five? I don't remember. Dull.
Fuckin hell
Replay. Initially played the PSP release of this but never finished it, so grabbed the Steam release when it hit and went through it. It's funny!
Meanwhile, a Castlevania 3 clone. Also fine. Good music!
Replay. Never finished it originally so I restarted and went through it. It's fine since it really is just trying as hard as it can to be a SotN clone, but as is the case with every SotN clone, it's not as good as SotN.
Disappointing. I like the concept but the gameplay is just clunky and dull, and the story didn't really end up anywhere I liked either. I guess I'm glad hokey FMV guff is still getting made though.
Played this with some folk during a Work Get Together. Knowing you can't win but can deny someone else their shot is intoxicating.
Another unfinished. A PS4 game that is clearly in reality a PS3 game. A theme song can only carry a game so far. Combat just doesn't have the oomph you want from a mech game and I'll be honest, I don't know how people can play these kinds of dating sim-adjacent things without feeling horribly embarrassed at every moment.
Still sitting unfinished. A cool look and concept but the race gameplay feels a bit sparse. I'll get round to it eventually.
I liked The Stanley Parable. This was more of that. I liked it!
Not great. I'm not sure why they bothered to make a musou of Berserk in the first place given how few characters fit the style.
Replay. I first played this on PS4 when I didn't have PS+ so pretty much the only thing I could do was the campaign or the arcade mode things, so obviously I thought it stunk. Having played it on PC now the online modes are definitely fun but the stripping out of things like KDR stats, maps decided by player choice, etc. are completely vile to me. If this is what multiplayer shooters are like now I'll pass.
It's LEGO Star Wars. It's fine! You run around doing simple things, you chuckle at the deserved light ribbing it gives these movies.
Replay. Thought this was pretty weak when it came out, opinion remains unchanged, but the Batgirl DLC was good.
Replay. Decided to just go through a bunch of the Arkham games after Origins. Still solid! Had never played the DLC so I gave that a bash, it is definitely less good. Just remembered the reason I played these was because I was rewatching all of Batman TAS at the time. Still a great show, I recommend doing the same.
Replay. Not really sure why I went back to this. I think it was because I had been saying "Deathstroke the Terminator" out loud a lot and thinking it was really funny.
Kamen Rider Garren! Whoah! Oh this is a visual novel, not an FMV game. Well, maybe there'll be a lot of gameplay to make up for i- oh. Never mind.
Started it but barely got any way in before I got distracted by other things. I've enjoyed every Ys I've played and can't imagine this one will buck the trend.
Started this in 2021 but got around to finishing it in 2022. I like the new cel-shaded look but I'd rather play SW4-II. A little too light on character variety. Shikanosuke Yamanaka is very dreamy!
Cool game! Doesn't scare me at all, which is maybe not a good thing, but I like Junji Ito and have always been vaguely intrigued by Uninvited, so the game's style works for me.
A friend and I make a point of occasionally playing through games in what we affectionately call the Dumbass genre (see: much of the Xbox 360 catalogue). This is one of the ones we didn't feel like finishing.
It's Warriors Orochi, it's good. I think this one isn't quite up to the same level of 3 Ultimate, but you're still guaranteed a fun time. The designs of the new characters are very funny to me - stupid sexy Hades!
I started this but then realised I could get the Ultimate version instead. Whoops!
Has some charm to it but the combat was just too bland for me to want to finish it. Maybe one day.
Cool little idea. I like games with boats.
DIdn't like it. Open world just felt dull and full of copy-pasted stuff. Wasn't fussed about the story. Saying "wretched dung-eater" is funny but that's all I've got.
Replay. Started this but then decided to take a break from the Mega Man Marathon to avoid burning out on the Blue Bomber. Got a decent chunk into it though and this is still primo PS1 fare!
The only thing I can remember about this one is the name Duff McWhalen, which is funny. Maybe I shouldn't have played so many of these one after the other.
I SAID no thank you!
It's fine!
No, no thank you.
The kind of FMV game I do not like.
I'm sure I would have had fun playing it but I honestly cannot remember anything about this game. Whoops!
Not really a kart racer guy but this seemed decent enough. Did you know Yoshinori Ono of SF4 fame was the composer for this? Crazy!
Don't have much to say about this other than I think I appreciate this style of dungeon crawler more than I actually enjoy playing them.
The current era of KOF just isn't for me. XIV and XV feel like they're trying to carry on the Big Combo Game style of XIII, but combos in these games are just not nearly as cool or interesting. Feels like they want you to go down very specific predefined combo routes. I could watch, say, Marvel 3 footage now and there's a solid chance I'll see something I've never seen before; it doesn't feel like this can happen with current KoF. Also this game is ugly as hell. At least there's always 98!
Haven't played any of the other games in this series but I didn't expect this to be as linear as it is. I guess it's okay but I can't say I was too impressed.
Cool game, very hard. This and the first one make me laugh a lot because you've got all these folk who have been facecapped so you can go oh wow that's Naoto Takenaka! And then you've got William who has proper Koei Face.
Replay. Now THIS is charm!
Replay. Fun idea, good enough to play about with for 20 minutes. Mega Man charm counts for a lot!
Part of my ongoing quest to play every Mega Man game. Thought it was decent enough, but my save corrupted somehow and I haven't been holed to restart it yet. Maybe one day.
The good shit. Easy pick for my GOTY. Have went back to it all throughout the year, some of these new goal and costume unlock requirements are total murder.
Absolutely not the first game I played this year but the earliest one logged for 2022. Haven't finished it yet; it seems nice enough but just takes a bit longer than I would like.
4 Comments
Damn this is impressive
Did you complete Ring Fit?!
@Vee this took me days lol
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
Vee
1 year ago
Bayou Billy is one of the most unfun NES games I ever played, goddamn what a slog-filled and mean-spirited game.