Twennytoo Five Hundo
In future year AD2022 I apparently logged 500 video games (mostly just played, not finished - can you even imagine). Am I proud of it? Of course not, brother, pride is a sin. Here they are in their entirety in order of play:
500 Games
Essential Amemiyacore. Very fun movement and awesome art direction - the Zeiram hat is flying around in here! Watch out!!
Wasn't too keen on where this one ended up but it's an interesting take on FMV games nonetheless. I would watch all of the movies in it.
Probably wouldn't have played this if it wasn't attached to an Amemiya movie. Very frustrating at points!
Played for 10 minutes and refunded it. If I want to waste my time I've a million other pointless games and they let me press an attack button.
Also very cool! Good name to say as well. GUNSTAR
Extremely dope. I was only able to finish it with save states, but I want to try without because it really is just that cool. Play it!
Only played the first mission and then put it to the side because I felt like it would deserve some proper time dedicated to it. One for next year.
Very dope. I was halfway through it before I got "Hard Corps". I played as the wolf guy obviously, he has shades.
Fun throwback shooter - I'd never heard of it but a friend said hey, you might like this and they were right. Nice!
The amount of work that's gone into this is insane, and it wasn't for nothing: this game is very cool! I need to play more.
Played this to test out an Apple TV I had to get for work. Thoroughly depressing.
For no reason I can discern the song It Came From Japan by the Von Bondies popped into my head, and I had to remember why I even know that song, and I remembered it's because it was in this game so I had to go play it. THPS it is not.
There's something I can never quite put my finger on about 3DS platformers. They always feel like they have pretty similar physics to them, and I don't think those feel particularly good. Didn't jive with this but you could probably do worse.
The first PS2 game iterated on slightly, i.e. very good. You should play these!
Sadly nowhere near as good as the original Revenge.
What a great game! Wish I'd played this at the time as it probably would have blown me away. Hey, listen to this!
Adding in live-action FMVs are fun but otherwise this is an immediate step down from 3.
Not quite as punishing as Revenge, but also more simplistic in level design. That's my only complaint, though - this game rules otherwise. You can tell they're really pushing the Mega Drive as far as it'll go. Looks awesome, sounds awesome, bunch of new movement options, good game.
Same story, just can't match up to the main games.
Wasn't really into this either. Wouldn't be the Game Gear if it wasn't hit or miss, I guess!
Decidedly less cool.
Still hard, still cool. Great music in this.
Also very hard! Such a cool game though.
Liked this more than the first game, but the difficulty is still absolutely sadistic.
Relentless game. Cruel!
Don't like Guilty Gear at all but played this with some friends who were trying to get into it. If I played it I would main Venom.
Played the original and thought it was boring as hell. In years since I've seen a lot of people talk about how good it was, so I thought I might not have given it a fair shake before and tried this out. I was right the first time.
Started this whilst I was on a bit of a Holmes kick from watching some of the Jeremy Brett series. I cooled off but I'll get back to it eventually!
Avoided this for ages because of the shift to JRPG combat, finally gave it a go since it was free on PS+ and confirmed my fears. Just don't enjoy it at all. The battle UI looks insanely cheap as well.
Watching my cousin play this traumatised me as a kid, finally decided to face my demons and play it. Inventory management and backtracking are not very exciting - dropped it with no plans to return after getting out of the police station.
Same story, sitting for ages, finally finished. I didn't like this nearly as much as the original but ate up all the first game fanservice like a champ, so it's all good by me.
Another game I'd had sitting for ages and finally got around to finishing. The final stretch of this had me dancing about like a madman. Real highpoint of the series stuff.
Fairly standard beatemup but the Conan aesthetic is very strong here. Has that one great track that's in Taiko as well.
Sublime remake package. I've played this so much this year. THPS gameplay has aged like a fine wine.
I've played all of 10 minutes of this so far, can't say anything.
The bad kind of FMV game and also barely functional. The cheek of them to act like this is some unearthed classic of the genre.
I was having fun with this, but my save messed up and I haven't gone back to it yet.
Fun point-and-click that has a bunch of sections where you'll have to do some googling about real-world locations and history. I like when games do that kind of thing!
Better than the previous one, I think. I'd be willing to play more of these.
Had this game in progress for literal years, finally made the effort to finish it this year. It's fine for a short choose your own adventure type thing, don't really have all that much to say about it.
I'm just confused that this was made and released. Did nobody involved know they were making a crap game? Who was it meant to please?
Pretty decent game! An oddity in that it's very clearly trying to ape the SNK/KOF look - not really something I associate with the genre. It's pretty basic, but short and sweet, worth playing if you can grab it cheap. You may also notice that this is the fourth game of this genre on the list so far that has Genzoman cover art. There can be too much of a good thing.
Easily the best Turtles beatemup, just brimming with personality. Went through singleplayer and with four players and had an absolute blast. Best OST of the year easily as well.
Replay. This close to being a perfect videogame. It really is just stupidly good. Play it now if you haven't already!
Wanted to like this, but I just found it kind of obnoxious, and I don't think it's a particularly good beatemup. Disappointing.
I'm not really sure who this is for.
Not really into the style of it but it plays pretty well! Was surprised at this one.
Thought this might be cool but as soon as I saw the battle system I nope'd straight out. Not in the market for turn-based beatemups, sorry.
A throwback to Renegade, so not something I really want to bother with.
A good remake of the good remake. Japanese title is better.
I have nothing but disdain for this. Genuinely repellent to me.
Cool stuff here, almost rhythm-game like. Some of the bosses can be frustrating but I had a good time with it.
Replay. I think this game is cool although it's often an absolute chore to play. If it was half as long it'd be great.
Mechanically fine but the style just isn't my thing.
This game can fuck right off. Honestly.
Why does THIS game look like this? Who put THEM up to it?
Just looked and felt low-rent, like a Flash game you would have played in the early 2000s. The whole ancient warriors fuck yeah thing isn't really for me either.
It's really fun that a game devoted to a mainstay Italian cinema duo exists, and it looks really good, but the gameplay could never be accused of being deep. Whole bunch of beatemups like this.
Weird not-very-good game that feels like it's some in-joke I'm not getting between steamers or something.
Even worse than regular River City Ransom, because it introduces a bunch of characters who would be cool in any other game but are stuck in this one.
Genuinely astounding effort for one guy. Awesome combo system, this was walking the Streets of Rage 4 walk before that game existed. Only problems I have with it are the lighting is a bit much at times and the main girl leans way too hard into anime fanservice for my taste. Genuinely really good game.
Trying very hard to be the NES games, but not quite managing it. A bit sad about this one.
Why does this game look like this? Who put them up to it?
An interesting deviation from the standard belt scroller formula, but not very engaging beyond that.
More Kunio-kun that I cannot abide.
Scott Pilgrimcore. Nope.
Hyper-edgy game. Combat is pretty satisfying but not deep enough to justify the length and large number of samey enemies.
Scott Pilgrim, but now composed exclusively of anime pervert characters. I wish for a world where its kind cannot exist.
This has about as much relation to actual Double Dragon as the movie does. Total slop, don't even think about it.
A good take on the formula laid down by the D&D games. Just went on a bit too long for me at the time, but I want to get back to it.
This is in the same vein as something like The Dishwasher for me - i.e., games that I assume you're probably into if you like Jhonen Vasquez.
At least, another actually good Double Dragon game! It can be frustrating at points (staring directly at the final boss) but I think the dodge stuff is really fun. Not huge into the 80s throwback stuff, it's always under about ten separate layers of irony, but it does have the single best rendition of the Double Dragon theme.
Fun as a tribute to the NES but it couldn't really hold my attention.
Another Guardian Heroes-alike. I don't think I'm into these, sorry!
Replay. Couldn't stand this game when it came out, can't stand the franchise in general. Anamanaguchi can also go away.
Nothing like the PS2 game, but a lot like a whole bunch of garbage beatemups. Don't bother with it.
Actually pretty good! Just a shame that it contains Doug "The Nostalgia Critic" Walker. If you play it, just try to pretend he's not there.
Replay. Didn't like it on release, didn't like it now.
Probably a little overlong for what it is, but this is a solid GBA game.
Completely odious game. I genuinely have no idea why or how this got made.
Replay. One of the best games ever made. If you've never played God Hand, please go play God Hand.
This is pretty cool but I'm not into Mortal Kombat so I couldn't be bothered finishing it. Probably really fun with two players.
Replay. Bad. Everyone knows it.
Very cool game. Remake this please.
Not amazing but a pretty charming little game. Parrying blaster bolts back will always be fun.
About as good as GT: Final Bout, i.e. not very.
Don't remember much of this beyond there being some long button combinations you had to do for specific sections.
Bad. It's not worth it.
Beatemup/adventure game hybrid that isn't too great but has some real slick animation. There's one kick in this that I've absolutely seen before but I can't place where from. I think it might be a KOF2002 animation.
Do celebrities get mad when people make shitty games with their name on them? I would.
Supremely frustrating game because it looks and sounds absolutely awesome - they are clearly pushing the Neo Geo to its absolute limit - but it plays like complete ass. It takes two full attack strings to break open an item barrel. Every aspect of gameplay is coated in extra thick molasses.
Not ringing many bells. I think it was another digitised one?
Don't have much to say about the game, but Joe Madureira should be outlawed.
Had to give up on this one because I was playing on emulator and the button sensitivity stuff just didn't work. From what I played it felt like this game could probably be finished in about 15 minutes if you skipped every cutscene (which I will absolutely be doing if I ever play a proper copy).
Just rewatch the movie, which is very good, instead of playing this game, which is very bad.
Intensely ugly game.
Another Three Kingdoms one. That's all I've got.
Interesting as a weird curiosity - a beatemup spinoff of House of the Dead - but otherwise not much to enjoy here. I do like that they threw in a Yusaku Matsuda-inspired guy for no reason.
Impressive amount of playable characters by the end of the game but otherwise not really all that great, I thought.
More of the same from Die Hard Arcade, and I'm perfectly fine with that.
4 Comments
Damn this is impressive
Did you complete Ring Fit?!
@Vee this took me days lol
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
Vee
1 year ago
Bayou Billy is one of the most unfun NES games I ever played, goddamn what a slog-filled and mean-spirited game.