Twennytoo Five Hundo
In future year AD2022 I apparently logged 500 video games (mostly just played, not finished - can you even imagine). Am I proud of it? Of course not, brother, pride is a sin. Here they are in their entirety in order of play:
500 Games
The tank controls just suck all the air out of this one - player mobility sucks and enemy mobility does not. Wakle Skade is a very funny name for a protagonist though.
Gunstar Heroes but harder. There's a bunch of points in this where it feels like there is exactly one and only one way you can not take damage, so it can be pretty frustrating.
Also very cool! Good name to say as well. GUNSTAR
Level design is more straightforward (blander) than the Gunvolt games but it's still really fun because Copen. Designs of the girls are still prison sentence bait.
Copen's gameplay is switched up to make him more melee-focused and he loses some of his movement options. Why? Your guess is as good as mine. Definitely a step down from the first game, but I like Brigade's design.
Not good!
Essential Amemiyacore. Very fun movement and awesome art direction - the Zeiram hat is flying around in here! Watch out!!
Some sections ended up just being way too frustrating for me to actually finish this game, but everything up to that point was absolute top notch kusoge. Amazing how janky and low-rent one game can be. Highly recommended.
Chills when they hit "of the HIGHEST POWERS"
Has some charm to it but the combat was just too bland for me to want to finish it. Maybe one day.
Replay. Originally played it on PS5, finally grabbed it on PC so I have all the levels from 1 and 2 as well. The whole trilogy is just really good - I'm glad they shifted towards a more spy thriller-like world. Also some of the funniest games released in the last few years; every time Tobias Rieper speaks at length I crack up.
Decent enough for an arcade movie adaptation, although it's a little long. It's Irem so it looks good.
Uses the Her Story framework to show us FMVs of I assume the developers and their mates filming in their grandparents' clothes. The video is endearingly amateurish but the actual playing had me eventually just getting lucky with random keywords more than following the threads to their conclusion. Maybe it's easier in French.
Definitely has more effort put into it than a bunch of the other licensed musous but I will never understand why they keep removing the ability to jump from these.
Very weird e-mail themed shmup? Not really that great but worth a look for the unique theme.
Wasn't too keen on where this one ended up but it's an interesting take on FMV games nonetheless. I would watch all of the movies in it.
I was having fun with this, but my save messed up and I haven't gone back to it yet.
Got nothing. Gone.
Do celebrities get mad when people make shitty games with their name on them? I would.
Still playing this, it's pretty cool! Obviously doesn't have the budget and weight of even the GBA Ace Attorneys behind it but the total devotion to the hard boiled clichés is very endearing. I like how much of it is just down to legwork. So far I think I would play a bunch more of these.
I'm not really sure who this is for.
Not good. I think the only notable thing about this to me is that Grifter isn't in it. Is he not this comic's only popular character?
Not really into the style of it but it plays pretty well! Was surprised at this one.
Doing A Henshin in this game does not make you any more powerful than you are as normal-ass Takeshi Hongo. What the fvkk. This one hurt.
Don't remember anything about it, but I didn't finish it so I must not have liked it, which is disappointing for a game called Karate Blazers.
You walk along a perfectly straight level and then you fight a boss. Way too long for how simplistic it is, but you do have way more moves than I would expect.
All I remember is that it was a mech game. I finished it, so it must have been decent!
It took me a bit to realise how you actually speed up, and then when I did I found I was either trying to win the race or trying to shoot stuff but trying to do both wasn't really working out. Interesting experiment but I'm not in a hurry to replay it.
Replay. Solid management game, had no idea there was a sequel until recently but I'll need to play it.
Replay. Another one where I think I like the idea of it more than I do actually playing it. When characters from it show up in other SNK things I think that's cool!
Pretty much the same feeling as the first game. Atomic Guy is cool though!
A little overlong from what I remember, but otherwise pretty much on par with King of Dragons.
Another Three Kingdoms one. That's all I've got.
An Elvis impersonator as a playable character is real nice but this game is otherwise not very good.
The only thing I can remember about this is that I didn't like it.
A much worse NES platformer that I played for the license.
Barely out of the tutorial. Need to get back to it.
Absolutely not the first game I played this year but the earliest one logged for 2022. Haven't finished it yet; it seems nice enough but just takes a bit longer than I would like.
This Legend has been entirely forgotten by me.
It's LEGO Star Wars. It's fine! You run around doing simple things, you chuckle at the deserved light ribbing it gives these movies.
Forgot I played this. Not very good.
Another game where if I'd played it at the time I would probably love it, but now just doesn't really hold my attention.
The start of a run of PC-Engine/CD games I decided to play. Pretty rough and unpolished but it looks cool and the soundtrack is awesome.
A friend and I make a point of occasionally playing through games in what we affectionately call the Dumbass genre (see: much of the Xbox 360 catalogue). This is one of the ones we didn't feel like finishing.
I don't really remember anything about this, but I shelved it, so I must have thought it was decent enough to go back to at some point.
Played the original and thought it was boring as hell. In years since I've seen a lot of people talk about how good it was, so I thought I might not have given it a fair shake before and tried this out. I was right the first time.
It was free, which is fitting because after playing I can tell you that this game is worthless.
Replay. Mate asked me to play it over Fightcade with him so I obliged. Never been a fan. Great character art though, bring back giant shoulderpads Jill Valentine.
Cool idea that doesn't quite come together. I can't say I've read Mazin Saga; maybe it's the same!
Replay. Fun idea, good enough to play about with for 20 minutes. Mega Man charm counts for a lot!
Part of my ongoing quest to play every Mega Man game. Thought it was decent enough, but my save corrupted somehow and I haven't been holed to restart it yet. Maybe one day.
The amount of work that's gone into this is insane, and it wasn't for nothing: this game is very cool! I need to play more.
No, no thank you.
Not really a kart racer guy but this seemed decent enough. Did you know Yoshinori Ono of SF4 fame was the composer for this? Crazy!
Replay. Now THIS is charm!
Replay. Started this but then decided to take a break from the Mega Man Marathon to avoid burning out on the Blue Bomber. Got a decent chunk into it though and this is still primo PS1 fare!
I'm sure I would have had fun playing it but I honestly cannot remember anything about this game. Whoops!
The only thing I can remember about this one is the name Duff McWhalen, which is funny. Maybe I shouldn't have played so many of these one after the other.
Darius Gaiden's little brother. Great atmosphere and boss designs makes up for slightly subpar gameplay.
Konami does X-Men x Altered Beast. Solid, except for the fact that your health is constantly going down. Playing through this genre exposes you to some of the most heinous shit ever designed to take money from kids. I played as MacGyver.
I have no idea what the original cabinet was like for this, but this is a bit of a chore to play on a regular controller. I like the general weirdness of it though, and the invincible Robojacko. However it is unbelievable that it has tons of licensed Jackson music and the zombie level does not have Thriller. What the fuck!
Hilariously edgy and kind of janky but it has that same fun quality of a Hotline Miami where positioning, prioritisation and full use of all your tools pays off big. Also very satisfying in its scrambliness when you don't do any of those and are just using everything around you on the fly.
Wasn't really all that into it, but it's at the very least better than Final Fight 2, which is kind of embarrassing.
Very easy Mega Man clone. I'd seen people say that Beck is hard mode, and I guess he is in relative terms, because I replayed this later in the year as Gunvolt and I could probably have done it with my eyes closed.
The two-lane gimmick mostly helps with making the game quicker because you can avoid stuff. I think it being a not-terrible Power Rangers game did a lot of the heavy lifting for me.
Finally decided to take the plunge and play this. It's guff. Not the absolute worst game ever made, but there's just no reason to ever play this instead of a Mega Man game. Gave up at the Call stealth section, who has the time.
Probably wouldn't have played this if it wasn't attached to an Amemiya movie. Very frustrating at points!
Didn't play this at the time because I assumed it would be crap. It's okay! The open world is a bit naff but the parkour is still really fun.
This is pretty cool but I'm not into Mortal Kombat so I couldn't be bothered finishing it. Probably really fun with two players.
Hyper-edgy game. Combat is pretty satisfying but not deep enough to justify the length and large number of samey enemies.
Only just getting round to playing this now with the full release. It's Warband but more, which is fine!
I finished this one but am totally blanking on anything about it.
Really tough in parts, but still a really cool game. Honorary Amemiyacore.
Oh, so the bug princess does nothing but kill bugs? Typical royals. These Cave shmups with tiny hurtboxes are very fun!
Another good Cave game. It's no Ketsui, though!
A little sluggish for the time, but full of cool monster designs for you to punch. Also has a fun title to say.
Don't remember much, other than it being pretty bland outside of the player character being a kabuki guy, which is cool and more games should do.
I was hoping for a cutesy DW4, but this was just clunky and slow. Really weird considering DW3 had already come out by this point, they obviously knew how to make a good musou. Odd.
Just a very average game. Apparently a Playstation launch title in Japan? Only thing really notable about it.
Not really that into it. Not bad, but not very interesting either. Fast forward for cutscenes is good, but a skip button would be even better.
Same story, sitting for ages, finally finished. I didn't like this nearly as much as the original but ate up all the first game fanservice like a champ, so it's all good by me.
I remember this being fairly basic but fun. A lot of these PC-Engine games have good music that is totally overpowered by loud, bad SFX.
The first PS2 game iterated on slightly, i.e. very good. You should play these!
Pretty standard gameplay-wise but the horror setting makes it stand out. I definitely want to give that fan remake a bash.
Super creative designs and a very fun core concept (what if Power Rangers were ninjas who did baseball), but I don't think the gameplay quite matches up to the heights of the presentation. This is one game where I actually would want to see a remake that punched things up a bit.
It's very funny that From made this. Hyperjank, I guess I'll finish it for lols at some point.
Not much to say about this. Not good.
Another Neo Geo release that feels like a relic for the time.
Replay. Awesome game but it is so incredibly punishing. Whoever designed the bird enemy should face charges.
Arcade version. Didn't like it as much as the NES version, just felt a lot shakier overall.
Oh jeez, I'm sorry, no, Sigma 2 is fine. I couldn't finish this. No idea what they were thinking.
Mizuki McCloud is a really funny name though.
Mizuki McCloud is a really funny name though.
Thought 2 was a bit of an easier ride and then 3 decided they'd given me enough leeway. I was happy to finally go through all of these but they were an ordeal and a half.
This is also awesome.
My 360 is broken and I couldn't be holed emulating so Black was out of the question, had to settle for this. Is it as good? Absolutely not. It's still Ninja Gaiden though, it's still a good game.
Okay this one is worse.
Cool game, very hard. This and the first one make me laugh a lot because you've got all these folk who have been facecapped so you can go oh wow that's Naoto Takenaka! And then you've got William who has proper Koei Face.
Another forgotten Legend.
Kind of cool, but just a little too annoying for me.
Played this for the first time after having it installed on like three separate PCs at this point. I'm not far enough in to say much about it.
Better than Guardian Heroes, although I didn't finish it at the time. I remember thinking the combo system was actually pretty good. Will get back to it.
4 Comments
Damn this is impressive
Did you complete Ring Fit?!
@Vee this took me days lol
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
@Dalaamclouds that's not the word I'd use but thank you!
@letshugbro good lord no. new years resolution though!
Vee
1 year ago
Bayou Billy is one of the most unfun NES games I ever played, goddamn what a slog-filled and mean-spirited game.